The Gang of Five
The forum will have some maintenance done in the next couple of months. We have also made a decision concerning AI art in the art section.


Please see this post for more details.

The Past that Yawns Behind

Pterano · 97 · 14551

Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
((So this is an older idea I had, but never wrote. I'm redoing a good chunk of it, and well, hopefully I have enough inspiration to see it through. I've got the beginning and some of the middle and a general idea for the end worked out, so we'll have to see how it goes. Any feedback is of course appreciated))

Prologue: Sleepy Night in the Dale

Five cold times had passed. They had come and gone after what seemed to the young flyer to be an eternity. Although he had been on countless adventures with his friends, Petrie had never lost count. Not once. Each cold time he had secretly been keeping track of.

Now it was getting warmer. The flowers were beginning to bud. Spring was arriving, bringing her bounty with her, and all the richness that went along with the changing season.

Petrie was older now, having aged a few years, though he hardly felt it. He wasn't much bigger than he had been back then... back when his uncle had arrived.

The youthful flyer sucked in a breath through his nostrils, looking up at the starry expanse that stretched infinitely above him. The stars glittered like crystals, a thousand, no, millions of them. His eyes swept the darkness... looking for a sign... anything that might show that the stars were being obstructed.

A passing herd who were stopping for a brief sojourn in the valley had sent word to his mother. In exactly ten days' time from their arrival, Petrie's uncle would return. He would return when the bright silver disc was highest in the sky. Five years had gone by since their adventure to find the Stone of Cold Fire... and now, it was time at last. The fifth Spring.

Petrie's eyes roved back and forth, trying to search for some dark shape in the sky. His uncle had said he'd arrive in this spot, in a dale near the big rock. That last bit had been kept secret from his mother. One of the wandering herd had instead informed him, and Petrie, desiring to see his uncle before anyone else, had come out here past his bedtime. No one else knew, save for a few sleepy dinos he had passed flying out here who had seemed more interested in sleeping than they had been in the lone flyer.

He gazed to his left, down the path that twisted like a ribbon in the darkness, and then turned abrutly to the right, hooking in on itself and traveling up a hill and out of the dale. The hill was directly ahead of him, not more than fifty feet off.

He wrapped his wings about himself, not because he was cold, but because he was a tad scared of being out here by himself. The moon was just about at its highest... so where was his uncle?

The sound of crunching ahead of him caused his head to snap, his beak pointing straight forward as he struggled to see what was making that noise. A dark form was heading down the path, moving slowly and deliberatly. For an instant, he thought he saw two glints in the blackness... eyes watching him? He shuddered, watching the shape move from right to left in his field of vision, getting lower and lower as it descended the path.

It appeared to stop right at the hook, off to his left. It just... sat there, melting into the darkness that surrounded it. "Pterano?" Petrie called out, though very softly, his voice not traveling very far. The shape did not move. Did not reply. Petrie wasn't even sure if it had existed in the first place. Maybe his mind was simply playing tricks on him.

But then, as if to confirm that it had in fact been very real, the shape started to move, crossing the hook and beginning to walk in his direction. The first thing the flyer could see materializing from the inky dark was a green set of legs, silvery claws catching the moonlight and flashing a bit. The green legs were followed by a body, which was in turn accompanied by arms, and finally, the head emerged.

Petrie immediately sighed in relief when he caught sight of the rainbow splotch of skin on the hypsilophodon's neck. "Oh... Mr. Brightneck... me didn't know it was you." He said, relaxing visibly and giving the hypsilophodon an assuaged look.

Mr. Brightneck smiled, being very familiar to the brown flyer. He was a local chaperone for the younger ones, taking them to and from places if their parents or guardians were too busy to do so. The gang usually didn't make use of his services, but sometimes, if a parent requested it, he would safely see a young one to wherever they were going.

He was older, having come to the Great Valley after the Great Earthshake. No one quite knew with what group he had arrived with, only that he had shown up with one of them. "Petrie." he said, his voice warm, friendly, like a mid-Summer night's eve. "I wasn't sure that was you. What are you doing out so late?" he asked, concern flooding his features.

"Me..." Petrie hesitated. "Can you... keep a secret?" he asked, to which the chaperone nodded solemnly. "Well... me here to see Uncle Pterano. He's coming tonight... but nobody knows that!" he said, angst evident in his voice. "Momma thinks that he's coming tomorrow... but me wanted to see him first."

"Ah... your uncle. Pterano." Brightneck stated, his voice peculiarly flat. He had a distant look in his eyes, as if he were studying something far beyond Petrie. "Do you like him?" he asked suddenly. "Your uncle's done some... bad things after all... hasn't he?"

"Well... Me guess." Petrie said, looking a bit crestfallen as he hung his head. "But he's still a good flyer... he saved Ducky..." the flyer trailed off.

"Hmph... so he did. Er... ahem, yes, of course he did. What time are you expecting him?" Brightneck asked.

"Well... now... but... me no... see him." Petrie said, raising his eyes in an abashed manner, clearly disappointed that his uncle was not here.

"Oh... my dear lad... I'm very sorry. But I don't think you should be out like this. Why you know how late it is? Your mother would be worried sick if she woke up and found out. Your home is... sort of on the way to where I was going. Why don't you let me walk you there? I could even carry you if you want. I don't think you should be outside like this." Brightneck said.

"Well... but Pterano... he's supposed to come..."

"I'm sure he will... but Petrie... don't get too upset at this... your uncle just doesn't seem like... the best flyer to be placing your faith in. He knows where you live. He can always show up. He might not even be coming tonight. I mean it's very late after all." Brightneck persisted. "Now come on... why don't you let me walk you home?"

Petrie took another look up into the sky, but saw no sign of anything flying up there. "Well... alright." he said, giving another sigh, this one of defeat.

"It will be OK. I'm sure you'll see him... in the morning. Come along now." Brightneck gently urged, holding his hand down for Petrie. Petrie practically crawled into the outstretched hand, so reluctant was he to leave the spot. Brightneck smiled, looking up at the sky briefly before he began to walk off with the flyer, exiting the shaft of moonlight he'd been in, and reentering the darkness as he headed for the hill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps around ten minutes later, a great shadow passed over the spot where Petrie had been, and landed with a thump in the rays of the moon. The great brown flyer stretched his wings, yawning a little and looking about him. "Petrie?" the voice belonged to Pterano, the long lost uncle of the young flyer who was nowhere in sight. "Petrie?" he called again, still searching about him. Glancing up at the sky, Pterano's heart sank in his chest.

He was late... the moon was already beginning to descend. But surely... surely his nephew would wait... wouldn't he? He walked a few paces, unsure if he had the right spot... but he remembered this place. He remembered it, and he was certain he told Petrie to meet him here.

There was not sight nor sound of the flyer, and Pterano's wings slumped to the ground. Some entrance he had made... he couldn't even arrive on time. But the wind currents had been bad... they'd held him up unnecessarily. Should he attempt to fly to his nephew's nest?

No... that wouldn't do. Closing his eyes, the flyer frowned, running things through his head. Best to just show up tomorrow... when he told everyone else he would. Flapping his wings, he ascended to a nearby tree branch, settling upon it to get some shuteye. His heart ached. It felt as if it were stabbed by minute rocks with razor edges. He should have been there. But it seemed he still wasn't able to do things right.

Closing his eyes again, the flyer drifted off into an uneasy sleep, the sounds of the night closing in around him, unaware of the plight he or his nephew would be facing over the next few days...

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


vonboy

  • Chomper: "Threehorns are better at everything, including rumpsteaks"
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2753
    • View Profile
Nice intro so far. You seem to forshadow something bad happening soon, especially from the character flaw your showing for Pterano.

Is Brightneck an OC of yours?

For some reason, all of the pausing in Petrie's and Brightneck's dialogue made me think of William Shatner's unique way of acting :blink:

I'll look forward to the next chapter :DD
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
Yes, there's some definitely foreshadowing here. XD Somewhat laying the ground work for things to come.

Brightneck is an OC of mine, yes. A rather key player in this story, as you'll find out :)

Ah yes, the pausing. They're both a little heistant here. Petrie's uncertain, and Brightneck is... ruminating. That's about all I'll say for now.

Thanks :) One thing I had been debating was whether to use "I" for Petrie instead of "me", as five years have passed, but the series is so timeless that I ultimately decided to stick with his usual way of speaking. You have any opinions on this?

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


vonboy

  • Chomper: "Threehorns are better at everything, including rumpsteaks"
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2753
    • View Profile
I've been keeping Petrie's speech the same in my fic too, and it' supposed to take place a couple years after the TV series. I don't see much of a problem with it, it at least makes his speech unique from the rest. I also like that about Ducky's avoidance of contractions, and Ruby's strange ability to say the same thing twice, yet still sound smart and intelligent.
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
Good point, good point. :) I'll leave it as is then.

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


trulyfantasticme

  • Petra (He/They)
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 1295
  • Very Important Rock
    • View Profile
Wow! That's really good. I like how you put your words together! Great job.

PS update as soon as possible please.
Petra is a variant of the Greek name "Petros" meaning "strong" or "rock." Andi is a variant of the Greek name "Andy" meaning "masculine" or "brave." Therefore, I am tremendously brave and strong! :lol


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
Thank you! Glad you liked it!

I'm actually in the process of writing the next chapter now, and should have it up sometime tonight. Since my graduation ceremony is tomorrow, I don't see much hope of being around then, so to make up for it, I'm posting another chapter to this.

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


LBTDiclonius

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2106
    • View Profile
Ah, sorry I didn't review sooner, but, great chapter!

It was pretty well described and very detailed, can't wait for more.

Update soon!


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
((Here we learn more of Brightneck's past, as well as see Pterano's return. Thanks for the reviews! Glad you're all liking it so far!))

Chapter 1: The Return

Brightneck walked softly up to Petrie's mother's nest. The entire family was snoozing soundly, all curled up around their mother, who had a content smile upon her features.

"Well, here we are." Brightneck whispered. "Oh." he said, as if remembering something last minute. "Your uncle is coming tomorrow. It's hardly small news after all. Petrie, I just wanted to tell you something before I head on home." Petrie looked up at Brightneck, curiosity flooding his features. "I think you should be careful around your uncle. He may have saved you guys back then... but don't forget, he was the reason you ended up in that mess in the first place. Don't ever forget... he's responsible for the deaths of many. I don't know if he's one you should be flying to so quickly."

Petrie once more looked shaken by these words. "Me know... me know." he said, nodding and trying to hold back a few tears. "But he still my uncle... and he still family."

"Family can still do bad things. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make sure that you're safe." Brightneck said, placing him in his nest next to his mother. "Now you get some sleep... and be careful tomorrow."

"Hey Mr. Brightneck?" Petrie tried to keep his voice low, so as not to disturb the others.

"Yes?" Brightneck said, pausing to turn around, as he had been in the process of walking off. "What is it?" his voice never rose above a whisper, out of respect for the sleeping flyers.

"Me never ask you this before... but where did you get that scar?" he asked, pointing now at a rather conspicuous mark running down Brightneck's flank. It was a mottled area of hard, callused skin, a circle that streaked downward in a jagged slash to his left hip and leg.

"Oh this? Heh... Littlefoot asked me the same thing a few days ago. It was a Sharptooth. Attacked me a long time ago... before I came here to the Great Valley." Petrie thought he discerned some sadness sweeping over Brightneck's face, but the chaperone quickly smiled, and gave the flyer a nod. "Now head to sleep you. It's way past your bed time." Petrie nodded, and watched the departing hypsilophodon as he started walking off on his own.

Lowering his head, Petrie curled up and blinked a few times before finally closing his eyes. "Night-night... uncle." he murmured, slowly starting to wheeze as he fell into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn brought a gathering of most of the adults. They were all assembling in order to "greet" Pterano. The flyer's arrival was expected at any minute, and everyone was out to see the return of the infamous flyer. He had most certainly garnered his share of controversy over the years. He was trusted by practically no one in that circle, save for perhaps a select few.

Mutterings were rife over whether or not it was truly wise to allow the flyer back into the Great Valley. Some pointed out that he had lived out his exile fairly, and had not broken it once. Others pointed out that he was responsible for the lives that were taken years ago, and still others were quick to chime in that he still rescued the "gang" (they weren't of course referred to as that) five years ago.

There didn't seem to be any prevalent voice amongst the adults, though Petrie thought he heard more "nays" than "yeas" in terms of his uncle's return being looking upon as favorable. Either way, as the exile was up, it had to be tolerated, regardless of what others thought.

"Hey Petrie! Sleep well? So today's the day huh?" Littlefoot asked, glancing up at the skies.

"Yep... today... is the day." Petrie said, very slow and even. "Hey Littlefoot?" Petrie asked after a moment's thought.

"Yes?"

"Do you... like uncle Pterano?"

"Well," Littlefoot seemed to be pondering that question. "I believe that everyone deserves a second chance Petrie. Or even a third chance in your uncle's case. I mean look at our journey to the Great Valley. Cera would've been long gone if I didn't believe in that."

"What do you mean Littlefoot?" the question came from Cera, who was only a few feet away. "Oh... sorry." Littlefoot said, scuffing the ground a bit with his claws. "Didn't realize. Anyways, my point is, I think your uncle has enough potential to at least show how he's changed, and should be given the chance to prove himself."

This caused Petrie to perk up a tad. He gave the longneck a small smile. Good old Littlefoot... he was always coming through with words of strength and encouragement. Petrie's cogitation was interrupted however by a swooping noise, and shouts of "He's here!" Petrie snapped his head up, and sure enough, his uncle could be seen wheeling and zooming overhead.

The brown flyer twisted, rolled, and flapped his wings to slow himself down as he came to land on a nearby rock, smack dab in the center of the assemblage. "Friends and former comrades... I have returned!" he exclaimed, doing his best to put on a proud, pleased face. He didn't shoot his wings out or make any other sort of bombastic gesture however, and simply left it at that.

"I see that smugness has as well." Mr. Threehorn said, narrowing his eyes as he stared daggers at the flyer.

"Ahem... It's nice to hear that a certain curtness has not been lost." Pterano said, giving the threehorn a look out of the corner of his eye, but refusing to face him head on.

"Uh... what did he say?" Mr. Threehorn asked in a low voice to no one in particular.

The ground shook a little as Littlefoot's grandfather, wizened and showing his years, strode forward. "Pterano. You have served your sentence. As five cold times have now passed, you are permitted back into this valley. First of all, from all of us" as he said this, Mr. Threehorn snorted before Grandpa Longneck continued, "welcome back. However, we have been discussing your return, and have decided to at least keep a watch over your activities. Now this doesn't mean you'll be followed every waking moment, but do realize that your integration into our community is important to us, as we have never fully done something like this before. We are a welcoming and open community however, and do wish you as nice a stay as we can here in the Great Valley."

Pterano had been facing Grandpa Longneck, bowing his head in deference, almost like an accused might face a judge, and he would occasionally nod here and there, as if agreeing with certain points. Petrie's eyes never left his uncle, as he tried to determine the amount of sincerity within the flyer, though it was often times hard, as Pterano's back was mostly to him during this time.

"Thank you er, Mr. Longneck." Pterano stated at the conclusion. He had called him Mr. Longneck back then, but wasn't sure if the elderly fellow had a more proper title or not by now. "And let me just say!" Pterano whirled around, raising a claw as if to emphasize a point. This gesture was met with some eyes rolling and groans, but otherwise, the assembled dinos remained silent to hear him out. "I cannot thank you enough for letting me return." his eyes moved around the gathered group, looking from first one to the other. "I promise you now, that I will devote myself to becoming a productive member of this community, and that I will strive to ensure a better future for our Great Valley, alongside all of you of course, for not only our sakes..." and here his eyes came to rest on his nephew. "But for our future generations as well. Posterity is the most precious, unenviable and worthwhile thing we have, and for that reason, I vow here and now to bestow upon my own future lineage my time and efforts, as they deserve it now... more so than ever before."

Not once did his eyes leave his nephew's, and Petrie felt a shudder run up through his spine, though not one of fear. It was one of awe and inspiration, and it was as if his uncle was looking into his very soul, past his own flesh.

Some of the gathered crowd murmured their approvals, and nodded their heads, while others stood their ground, and merely scoffed at this, the flyer that had been responsible for the erasure of so many lives back then. It seemed though that the majority of the crowd had been swayed, and several came forward to speak to him, and Petrie swiftly found himself cut off from his uncle.

"Well I guess that's that. How do you feel Petrie?" Littlefoot asked, looking down at his friend.

"Me feel... good." Petrie said, breaking out into a smile. "Me really think he changed."

"Oh I do hope so. I do, I do." Ducky chimed in from beside him, wanting to believe in Petrie's uncle as well. The crowd was starting to close in, and Littlefoot and the gang started to beat a hasty retreat, as they would be able to talk to Pterano later, they were sure of that. It was simply too suffocating at the moment, and Littlefoot for one needed the air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was sometime much later in the day. Littlefoot and Petrie were both lying on their backs in the grass, looking up at the drifting clouds that floated by. The gang was going to be meeting up soon, but only Littlefoot and Petrie had managed to get away first. Littlefoot's legs were splayed outward, and he was letting his underbelly soak up the sun. "So it must be good to have your uncle back, huh?" the longneck asked his flyer friend.

"Yeah. Me no speak to him all day though. He fly off with momma to talk, and me no see him since."

"That's too bad. But I'm sure he'll turn up. He always thought of you as his favorite nephew... at least I saw it like that." Littlefoot said, inhaling and letting his underside rise.

"Hey hatchlings!" Littlefoot and Petrie's eyes widened at the voice, as they both recognized the gravely, hoarse tone.

"Hey Hyp." Littlefoot took the cue, and responded. A shadow passed over them, and Hyp stood there, panting and looking as if he'd just run a mile, which he had. He gasped, and collapsed on the ground next to them, spreading his arms out like Littlefoot had done.

"What's up with you guys?" Hyp asked, closing his eyes and starting to gradually slow his breathing down.

"We're waiting for the rest of our friends. We're going to go play in a little bit. Want to join in?" the apatosaurus asked.

"Nah... that's OK. I'm beat. Just got done with my run."

"Oh yeah... you're running now. How's your courtship going?" Littlefoot asked in a slightly sly tone. Hyp had been undertaking lots of physical activities recently to stay in top shape, as his father was urging him into a courtship, he being of roughly courting age now as the years had gone by.

"Ahhhh it's going well. Lot of work." Hyp said with a sigh.

"Do you like her at least?"

"Yeah I like her." Hyp pushed himself up so that he was leaning on an elbow now, looking down at Littlefoot. "Pfft, but I think you'd rather talk about Petrie's uncle. My dad said he's actually willing to give him a chance, surprisingly. My dad seems to say a lot of things that don't make a lot of sense, at least to me."

"And what do you think?" Littlefoot queried.

"I dunno. Never met the guy." Hyp swirled some blades of grass around in his claw, acting bored. "I saw him this morning. I wasn't paying as close attention as I could've been, cause Mutt kept punchin' my shoulder and asking me about my courting, and if it wasn't him, Nod would be whacking my ankle with his tail and asking the same thing. Boneheads." he said, rolling his eyes. "They can't be serious about anything."

"Heheh, reminds me a lot of how you used to be."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyp growled, clenching his fist, but only giving Littlefoot a mock serious expression before he melted that away into a smile. "Yeah... anyways, I gotta get back before..." but he was cut off by another shadow that passed over them, this time coming from the sky. A thud sounded, grass flew about in brilliant verdant hues, and standing before them was Pterano.

"Petrie!" he exclaimed, throwing his wings open wide.

"Uncle!" Petrie said, pushing himself up to sitting, though he didn't fly right into his uncle's wings either.

"Hello children and uh... sir." he addressed Hyp, unsure if he was a full fledged adult yet or not. They all greeted him, and he looked down at Petrie once the pleasantries were out of the way. "Petrie... I'm deeply sorry for not being at our meeting place last night. I got there late you see, and I know I must have disappointed you. The wind was very strong, and I wasn't able to reach you quite on time. I would very much like to make it up to you however. I haven't had a chance to speak to you all day as it were!" Pterano apologized, giving his nephew a distraught look.

"Please forgive me, and well... I thought that in making it up to you... we could perhaps... go for a flight together? Just you and me? I would very much like to talk to you while we fly, and um..." bond with my nephew, he didn't finish. "Well anyways, would you like that? I promise to have you home by sundown, cross my heart." He said, drawing an X over his chest.

Petrie looked over at Littlefoot, who merely chuckled. "Come on Petrie! I know you want to go, and we can play tonight or tomorrow. Go on!" the longneck urged, to which Petrie beamed at his friend's understanding.

"OK! Me go with uncle Pterano then!" he said, hopping out of the grass and flexing his wings a little.

"Grand! Then let's be off! Thank you Littlefoot. If you wish, I could have him back even earlier." Pterano tried, to which Littlefoot merely shook his head.

"It's fine, sir. I think you two need this time together. Go have fun. We'll see Petrie tonight."

Pterano nodded, and began flapping his wings, his nephew doing the same as they both launched themselves into the air, quickly gaining altitude as Littlefoot watched them go, the two flyers circling each other and looping around, causing the longneck to break out into a smile.

"See you tonight then, buddy."

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


LBTDiclonius

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2106
    • View Profile
Oh,  nice chapter.

Once again, pretty detailed and gives a good picture. Also, I kind of sense some foreshadowing going on, like with the last line in the chapter.

"See you tonight, then, buddy."

I don't know why but that kind of urks me, but I might just be feeling that way for nothing. Nothing could possibly happen...or could it? You never can tell with Pterano, can you? :DD

Update soon! I have a feeling this is going to get interesting...


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
Thank you.  :DD  Appreciated.

Well yes, there is a tad bit of foreshadowing there, though not quite as much as in the prologue. :) I guess I'm just a foreshadowing fiend in these opening chapters, but I'll lay off of that once the story starts to get going. Don't want to irk you too much after all. XD

I promise to update as soon as possible. Tomorrow is going to be insane, with my graduation ceremony and all, but I'm looking forward to hopefully a slower Sunday.

Thanks again!

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


LBTDiclonius

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2106
    • View Profile
Ah, so, there WAS foreshadowing in that part. I'm ninja. :lol

And you're welcome. :)


vonboy

  • Chomper: "Threehorns are better at everything, including rumpsteaks"
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2753
    • View Profile
Yeah, great chapter.

I like what your doing with Hyp. Trying to make him a man and what not. It's nice that your putting focus on some of the other characters, too.

Kind of weird that Topsy is at least acting that nice towards Pterano. I don't think he really means what he's saying.

This chapter didn't seem that foreshadowing to me, not as much as the prologue at least.

I'll look forward to the next chapter, but you just enjoy your graduation tomorrow! I can wait. :yes
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
Thanks, vonboy!

Yes, that struck me as I was writing the chapter, the Hyp thing I mean. I was like... what if he's growing up to the point where he's in this sort of very beginning relationship type thing? And yeah, I'm going to try and keep it as balanced as I can, though obviously it'll favor Pterano at certain points. XD

Oh Topsy? He snorted, but he didn't say any of the stuff after that, that was still Littlefoot's grandfather. The only two things he really said were the thing about the smugness, and not understanding Pterano's comeback. XD Thanks for pointing that out, it isn't entirely clear, so I made an edit there to ensure it is. :)

Yes, the prologue was very heavy on it. There was a small bit in this one, but right, not as much.

Thanks! I plan to. I'm still letting it sink in. It's like... is this really happening? Enjoy the start of your Summer break too. :)

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


vonboy

  • Chomper: "Threehorns are better at everything, including rumpsteaks"
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2753
    • View Profile
Oh, I guess I read that wrong then :blink: . I thought he said the second half of that paragraph. Makes a lot more sense now, lol.

Your writing good dialogue, too.
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
Yes, I apologize for that, thank you for pointing that out. I made a small edit to clarify, as you're right, it's not entirely clear. XD

And thanks, yeah. I always find that the hardest in my writing. I can get into character, but I always think I stumble sometimes with dialogue. I try to make it sound believable, and not just bland or clunky. So thanks, I'm glad it's working.

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


trulyfantasticme

  • Petra (He/They)
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 1295
  • Very Important Rock
    • View Profile
Great chapter, just like the previous one!

I wonder what Pterano and Petrie are gunna do together.
Petra is a variant of the Greek name "Petros" meaning "strong" or "rock." Andi is a variant of the Greek name "Andy" meaning "masculine" or "brave." Therefore, I am tremendously brave and strong! :lol


Pterano

  • The Fabulous Fearsome Flyer
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2937
    • View Profile
((this is more of a relaxing, sort of easy type of chapter. The "calm before the storm" I guess you could say. We see a character I'll be introducing later, but generally this is more of an unwinding chapter))

Chapter 2: Soarin'

The two flyers gained altitude as they began to catch the current, using the uplift to push themselves higher as they were now riding the breeze. At first, it was a simple matter of gaining enough lift, but once that was out of the way, Petrie began turning loops in the air and laughing merrily as he attempted to urge his uncle to do the same.

"Come on uncle! We no fly together in long time! You a good flyer! Come on!"

"Hahah." Pterano chuckled, watching his nephew dip, dive and spin. "Alright, alright. Let's go then." Pterano allowed himself to let loose, rolling over onto his back and dropping a bit so that he was flying under his nephew, looking right up into his eyes. "Watch this."

He began a backwards dive, closing his eyes and first letting his head sink down, followed by the rest of his body as his beak angled straight at the ground. The free fall had started, and he let the wind rush by, the noise in his ears growing until all other sound was drowned out. It was as if he had entered into a tunnel at breakneck speed, and the flyer focused intently, not opening his eyes once as he judged his rate of descent and when best to break loose.

At first, it almost seemed as if he were dead, or at the least, unconscious. Petrie hovered over his plunging uncle, wondering if perhaps something had gone wrong. But as Pterano started to near the canopies of some of the taller trees down below, his eyes snapped open, and he sumersaulted backward by letting his heavier lower body fall, and with a great whoosh he began to beat the air with his wings, shooting up and conducting a roll before he too turned several loops, crying out in elation as he began to reach his nephew's altitude.

"Whooooooo! Hahahah! Now how was that?"

Petrie could only stare in awe, shaking his head a little in disbelief. "How you not crash? You pulled out at last second! How you do that?"

"Hah! Well Petrie, remember how I turned on my back before I started the dive?"

"Uh huh!" Petrie exclaimed, nodding emphatically.

"Well I quickly glanced downward, taking note of my height, and as I've done this many times before, at various altitudes, I had an excellent sense of exactly where I was at any given moment. It's something you can train yourself to sense, and it becomes almost second nature. Flying is not just simply going from one place to another after all. There's much more to it than that. Oh, so many times did I fly far above the Mysterious Beyond, thinking quietly to myself until I simply let myself go and fall back towards the earth. Feeling the rush of the wind and the dropping feeling you get in your stomach when you free fall only enhanced the sense that I was alive you see. A living, breathing creature, and that though my life was one of solitude and sometimes loneliness, a good free fall always served to 'wake me up' so to speak, and remind me that rather than despair, I should instead think of what I still had, such as a family. A nephew I could one day go home to; a nephew I could watch over and enjoy life with."

Pterano's explanation caused Petrie to beam, and draw even with his uncle as the two began to fly over a winding river that gleamed like the back of a silvery serpent far below them. "Well now you got a home uncle! You back! Five cold times and you finally back!"

"Indeed... yes I am." Pterano said, in a far more serene tone than before. It was clear he was starting to relax and unwind, finally growing acclimated to the fact that he was reconciled with the Valley's denizens. "It's what kept me going those past five cold times. I had certain things to look forward to upon my return... but you were the biggest one of those things." Pterano glanced at his nephew in profile, and Petrie could see the edges of the flyer's mouth curl upwards in a smile.

"Now," Pterano continued. "Why don't you show me a favorite spot of yours to fly to? Go ahead and takeover... you're the leader on this trip."

"Me? Leader?" Petrie asked, blinking. "Uncle... you sure you feeling OK? You like being leader, right?"

"Heh, today it's all you nephew." Pterano responded, not fully answering the question. "I'll follow you wherever you wish to take me." He gave Petrie a reassuring nod, and slowed his speed a bit to allow his small nephew out in front.

Petrie thought a moment, then his eyes brightened. "Me know a great spot! This way!" he dipped a little downward and to the left, and Pterano banked in order to follow. Below them, the river was soon lost to sight, replaced by a variety of flyers of all shapes and sizes, looking almost like schools of fish as they flapped and flew in the two flyers' line of vision.

They dropped their altitude a bit, as Petrie noticed a type of flyer he'd never seen before. He recognized the species, as it was a long tailed flyer, or rhamphorhyncus, but the color of its skin was just so unusual, that Petrie pointed him out and turned his head in Pterano's direction. "Hey uncle, what kind of flyer is that?"

Pterano squinted to get a better look, and recognition soon flooded his features. "Ah, him. That's what's called an albino, Petrie. They're all white with red eyes, and they aren't always out in daylight, as bright light can hurt their eyes, but it seems he doesn't mind too much. I've encountered several of his kind out in the Mysterious Beyond, and he's the same kind of flyer that Mr. Rinkus is, if you remember him."

Petrie nodded, as he most certainly remembered the pink long tailed flyer known as Rinkus. "Me remember. Did he... live, uncle?" Petrie asked, referring to Rinkus.

As the two chatted above him, the albino pivoted one of his pink eyes upward, having overheard the conversation that was semi relating to him. "Hmmmm." he muttered, a pensive look crossing his face. Were those the two he'd been looking for? A large brown flyer and a smaller one... could they be the ones?

"Mr. Rinkus? Why yes, Petrie. He did survive. I ran into him in fact, out in the Mysterious Beyond."

Petrie's eyes widened once more. "Really? He not hurt you?"

"No, Petrie. He did not. Mr. Rinkus was... having a bit of a rough time. His mother had just passed away, and he was trying to travel back to his homelands in order to find his family. He told me he had no ill will towards me, and we went our separate ways."

"Wow... that good. Me no like it when others die... it sad no matter who you are." Petrie stated, surprising his uncle a little. who's face fell a tad when he heard those words.

"Indeed. It is." Pterano searched again for the albino, but he was out of sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Petrie and Pterano landed on a small ridge, right next to a waterfall that cascaded down into the Valley below, throwing off rainbow like sparkles as it struck the rocks at the bottom. "Fantastic! Sublime!" Pterano breathed, admiring the view. "I can see why you like to fly out here. It is positively stunning."

"Yeah, me like flying here alone sometimes... but maybe me no longer have to come here alone." Petrie replied, looking up at his uncle, who smiled warmly. "You want some food?" He asked, pulling a vine down that contained several succulent looking berries.

"Ah yes... why thank you Petrie." Pterano said, plucking a few of them off the vine.

"They grow up here, and make for tasty treat when you tired after long day of flying." The two of them partook of the ripe fruit, remaining silent while they ate, until Petrie began to finish up, and looked up at his uncle.

"Uncle... did you ever... fall in love?" he asked, causing his uncle to raise a brow.

"Er... no Petrie. I have not. I was a little too selfish for that." he stated with a chuckle, though it was evident that it was twinged with a bit of regret.

"Oh... well me only ask because Hyp is courting now, and it sort of a new thing. I bet you could find a nice flyer though... you not that old."

"Hah! Why thank you Petrie. That's... kind of you to say." he said, reaching out to pet his nephew's head. Yawning as he did so, Pterano proceeded to stretch his wings out, and blink his eyes a few times. "Mind if we take a bit of a rest before we head back? Uncle's not quite as spry as he used to be." he scratched his stomach, and sat back against the cliff. The afternoon sun was very warm, and the flyer found himself basking in it, his eyes starting to grow heavy.

"That OK. Me a little tired too." Petrie said, walking over to the edge of the shelf they were on, and hanging his lefts off the side as he sat down. Pterano smiled at him, and felt himself sliding downward, until he was lying on his side, starting to curl up.

Petrie glanced behind him, noticed his uncle's state, and got up to walk over. He crawled over Pterano's wing, and slid in right next to him, nuzzling his beak a little and smiling. "You can sleep if you want uncle. You look tired."

"Mmm." Pterano cracked an eye, looking down at his nephew. "Oh only for a little while. I promised your mother I'd have you back by sun down. So don't let me..." He paused to yawn. "Don't let me sleep too long."

"That OK. Me a bit tired to." Petrie curled up right next to his uncle's cheek, and rolled into him a little bit, causing the tired flyer to once again smile. "Me glad you back uncle..."

"I'm glad to be back Petrie... you never left my thoughts since my exile..." Pterano brought his wing about the small flyer now, and cradled him up against him. "I'll do my best to protect you... you're my favorite nephew after all..."

Neither of them said anything as their breathing slowed, but right before he drifted off to sleep, Pterano heard four words that sent a shiver up his spine, one of such utter happiness that he wasn't sure if it had been real. Was he dreaming? Or had Petrie really just told him that? Pterano's mind blurred, and he slid down into unconscious sleep, the words that played in his ears right before he'd lost all senses being "Me love you uncle."

(runner up)
(runner up)
---------------------------------------------------

Poster of the Gang of Five's 400,000th post


trulyfantasticme

  • Petra (He/They)
  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 1295
  • Very Important Rock
    • View Profile
Awww! Petrie falling asleep in Pterano's arms! Awww! I love that! Youre a fantastic writer! keep it up!

You know, the end of this chapter reminds me of a dream a had about my long lost father. He died in a car accident when i was only four years old. that dream was about me reuniting with him and we did lots of stuff together and then cuddled in bed, kinda like Pterano and Petrie.

So yeah, those two remind me of that dream. I need a hug right now... :cry
Petra is a variant of the Greek name "Petros" meaning "strong" or "rock." Andi is a variant of the Greek name "Andy" meaning "masculine" or "brave." Therefore, I am tremendously brave and strong! :lol


LBTDiclonius

  • Member+
  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 2106
    • View Profile
Dawww!! Cuteness! Great chapter! Like trulyfantasticme said, you're an awesome writer!

Can't wait for the next chapter! :)