Is personal appearance important?

[Saft]

I'm rather confused.  Frankly I don't understand it but anyway...I sent a ''friend'' from the international school a photograph of a couple of years back when she, I and another friend of her's went to the chocolate factory.  I thought it would be good fun but instead she asked me to take the photograph down and replace it with one that makes her look good in it.

I don't understand that.  I mean I asked my sister about it and she said that I shouldn't have taken it down but have left it up there.  She said that people change and they don't tend to judge you on what you looked like when you were younger.  

So I wanted to know why this friend didn't want the picture up.  It wasn't anything bad, we were just shown to be trying out chocolate samples....Laura (the friend) said that she looked like a ''big fat pig with terrible eye brows'' and that people might ask her what happened......I don't get that.  

Do people judge others on their past photographs?  Is personal appearance really that judged on?  

Is it that important?

Now, before I'm misunderstood I do have some taking care of appearance and all that but it's not a big must for me.  Is it the same for others or is Laura just vain?  

Yeah, I hope this thread makes sense.  I'm still a bit confused.  Cyber brownie to anyone who explains it.

[Mumbling]

Honestly, I don't get the issue with that either. I have some pictures from my friends from a couple of years back, and the girls will always mention that they looked soo horrible back then.

I don't know what to think about that. I think pictures of me as a little kid are cute... And I know I haven't changed the past 5 years or something, so I guess I don't care too much.

People often change their looks, hair, glasses things like that to make themselves feel better... So when they look back to the pictures of the past, they might feel bad again... I can think of that as the only reason.

Same goes for me and writing: When I wrote something down, and look back at it a year later, I just want to rip it and burn it because I think it looks ugly, grammar is bad and stuff like that. I guess when people see those pictures they reflect on the past and they don't like that? :

[LBTFan13]

Pictures are pictures. They tell of something in the past, not in the present. This photo was of you guys in the past, not in the present, so why she feels the need to have you take it down is confusing.

Maybe it's more of a personal thing for her, but by the way it sounds she's making a big deal over nothing.

I really don't think personal appearance should matter based off a photo. Then again, it depends on the situation. If you are going for a job or something like that, then this might be different, because you want to make a good impression. But for something fun and casual, there really shouldn't be a problem with it.

[Cancerian Tiger]

I'm not sure what to say about this.  I feel your friend should be okay with the picture being put up since it was taken years ago and brings back fun memories.  However, I'm kinda guilty of a similar thing, so I feel it would be hypocritical of me to say her attitude about past pictures is not okay but mine is :huh:.

In my case, I'm one of those people who change in appearance every couple of years at least.  If I show others pictures of when I was a kid, they don't even know the kid is me :blink:.  Even pictures taken during high school years don't hardly look like me.

The reason I say I'd be a hypocrite is 'cuz I am very reluctant to put any pictures of me up from the ages of fifteen to twenty-two.  Before I hit fifteen years old, I had always been a skinny individual.  It almost seemed like I packed on a lot of weight overnight.  I don't mind posting pictures now since I've lost pretty much all that weight I had gained.  I'm sorry if I offend anybody, but I looked awful weighing around 170 pounds and only standing at 5'2".  

I really hate it when a picture s taken of me while I'm in the middle of taking a bite of food...makes me look like a food addict .  

Now that I think about it, I think she should be okay with the picture being put up.  It was, as I said before, taken years back and captured memories of a good time.  I could understand if she was stupid drunk or high when the picture was taken, but obviously she was not doing anything controversial or damaging to her reputation when the picture was taken, so I don't see why she would feel so embarrassed :unsure:.

I hope I did not just confuse anybody .

[Saft]

Thing is at first I thought that she was saying it because she didn't want to be in a picture with me. But then there are other pictures of her from back in the past.  So I don't know.  I just took her word for it.

I sort of understand what you are meaning CT. When you put it that way I suppose then you wouldn't want to look back on more negative circumstances...but I don't know...it's not that she looked bad at all..if it was anyone that was doing something er embarrassing it would have been me..after all I did have chocolate stuffed in my mouth.

I would post the picture up on here but I don't think that's a good idea.

I just didn't realise that personal appearance even past personal appearances are that important.  

[LBTFan13]

To some people personal appearance is a personal matter. Then again, you had no idea how she was going to respond so you are not at fault here.

I wouldn't be ashamed to show pictures of myself when I was younger, mainly because I don't think I've changed my personal appearance that much.

[Malte279]

However unjustified one might think of it while not being the one who is complaining about it we ought not to forget that a person has a certain right over the own image. If a picture of oneself is posted in the internet which one would rather not show to the public (for whatever reason) I think one does have a certain justification when asking for the picture to be removed again, especially when asking a fan.
Sadly enough the outward appearance of a person is very often crucial to the impression which people will of you (whether they admit it or not). It is for that reason that such a huge fuss is made over application photos. Nowadays potential employers will often google the names of any applicants for a job. If then they find an image they don't like this may even decide whether or not the depicted person is getting a job. From what I have heard "party pictures" showing someone drunken or in an otherwise embarrassing situation are potential job killers. Even if the said picture may be far from such an extreme I suppose that the right of co determination of private people over their pictures should not be lightly discarded.

[Littlefoot1616]

One thing I've noticed along with many changes in society and its daily runnings, is that appearance seems to a big deal to a lot of youngsters nowadays. Celebrity-ism has forced a lot of people into wanting to look like their role models and has since made them somewhat vain, shy or just plain weird. Of course everyone has a style that they're into and personal feelings are just as malleable. What didn't bug you say 5-10 years ago might really annoy you or freak you out today.

Personal appearance is pretty much your personal flag to the world saying "This is me and what I stand for." It's your statement to the outside world. Unfortunately, with the way that fashion and society moves about, that isn't always a factor that is smiled upon. Just the way you dress speaks louder than your voice can before you even meet a person coz the visual stimuli speaks first. Everyone is guilty of it but that is human nature. We are attracted (or repulsed) by what we see first. Once that initial barrier is dealt with, you move accordingly.

Maybe your friend just didn't like the way she looked as a kid and is embarrassed by the photo you showed. Maybe she doesn't like looking back and considers that kiddy part of her life over and just wants to focus on the now. I dunno,  I'm just throwing ideas out there but evidently she doesn't like how she was or just plain found it embarrassing. Nevertheless, you did the right thing by respecting your friend and taking it down. As innocent as your gesture may have been, at least you have you friend's interests at heart.

[JitteryDragon]

Celebrity-ism has forced a lot of people into wanting to look like their role models and has since made them somewhat vain, shy or just plain weird.

Bingo!

Everything you said pretty much sums up a lot of what personal image means to a lot of people. Indeed, appearance is a statement, and a powerful one at that. The way you look says a lot about you, in the eyes of other people whether you like it or not.

The judgment is purely in the eyes of the beholder, which is a sad fact of life. Some statements are stronger than others (Goth, Emo, etc.) and some other stuff is just to be expected (work appearance, formal appearance).

If you wanted to boil it down, appearance and our judgment of it is a trait we've had since we lived in caves. it just that over the years, it's evolved with culture.

Ah, cavemen, those were the days... big clubs, big beards, big bearded women... wait...