Good evening, everyone. For this month's prompt response I have decided to do something different and attempt a straight up comedy. And, of course, as this month's prompt was: "Make a story that is from the perspective of an omnivore or sharptooth other than Chomper or Ruby. They may be villains, allies, neutral observers, or anything you like, but the perspective of the narrative must be from the viewpoint of the sharptooth or omnivore" This led itself to staring two of my characters. I hope that you all enjoy and, as this is a new style for me, I welcome your feedback and constructive criticism. (:
Oh, and Sovereign I should have your special prompt response ready in the next two weeks. Work has just been kicking my butt lately, but I am working on it.
Tiny Biters
“Alright, children, time for sleep.”
Stern Claw chuckled softly as the little balls of fluff began to protest in their own unique ways. Taunt and she had not yet named the young ones, taking Breeze’s advice to not give them their hatch names until their personalities could show through. Though those personalities were fast beginning to peek through their youthful exteriors.
“Too slow, Pouncer!”
She could only laugh as the orange ball of fluff tried but failed to pounce on his father’s tail. The small youngling was not done, however, as he made a second attempt and clung to his father’s scaly appendage. It now looked like that Taunt had a small ball of fluff growing from the tip of his tail.
“You know, dear, I think that this one…” as if in response he allowed ëPouncer’ to drop on to her back by laying his tail on top of her, “takes a bit after his mother.”
Stern Claw rolled her eyes as she allowed the little rascal climb down her neck and back into the nest. Within moments he was attempting to pounce on his sister, only to be tackled by the other sibling.
“I think that they take after both of us,” Stern Claw retorted as she watched her daughter begin to strut, looking a bit like a prideful dandelion parading before her eyes. The moment was soon lost, however, as this invited a counter-attack from the other two siblings. The fact that each of them was no larger than their mother’s sickle claw only highlighted the chaos that was to follow.
“We are so screwed aren’t we?” Taunt muttered as he used one of his claws to break up the little scuffle between the younglings. It was only then that they appeared to realize how tired they were as they began to yawn.
This was soon followed by the realization that they were hungry. The peaceful silence of the night was then interrupted by all three of the younglings screech with gaping mouths. An instinctual drive that no parent could resist. An act that communicated one thing – feed me!
Before Stern Claw regurgitated some of the remnants of her dinner into her son’s gaping mouth, she gave a knowing look to her mate as he prepared to do the same for the other children.
Considering that they are taking after us? Yes, we are so screwed…
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Despite her exhaustion Stern Claw couldn’t help but smile at the sleeping younglings. The orange male was still gnawing at his father’s tale even while being firmly in the world of dreams. It made her reflect on the events prior to the hatchlings’ evening nap.
“Too slow, Pouncer!”
She blinked. He had taken a special fondness for pouncing on… well… everything. His father’s tail… his sister… his brother… his brother and sister at the same time.
It would make for the perfect hatch name.
Rising carefully so as not to disturb the sleeping bundles of buzz, she began to turn towards her mate.
“You know, Taunt, I think we might have a good name for our son. What do you think of…” She quickly saw her mistake, however, as a snore emanated from the male’s mouth. It seemed that the little ones were not the only ones who were exhausted on this night.
“Hmph!” Laying back down and wrapping her body on the other side of her children she gave her mate a little nudge. “You had better sleep, dear... guess who I’m making clean the nest tomorrow?”
Taunt gave no obvious response except to tuck his tale closer to his body, carrying their son along with it. Stern Claw couldn’t help but smile at the response as she closed her eyes. Nice to know that Pouncer is just as hard to get rid of as you, dear… you might have met your match…
She was asleep within seconds.
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“It’s the Great Valley!”
Stern Claw couldn’t believe her eyes. The land before her was a place that she had not seen in years. A land of verdant green plans, azure waters, and fresh air. A land where leaf-eaters could exist in harmony, away from any danger. A land where even longnecks and threehorns could exist in (somewhat) peaceful coexistence. What could possibly go wrong?
“Sharptooth!”
Stern Claw groaned. She had kind of forgotten about being the danger. Perhaps stepping in front of the small threehorn was not a good idea. Realizing that any protests from her part would only invite further attention, she finally did the sensible thing.
She hid.
Despite her agitation she struggled to control her breathing. Friend of the valley or not, she could not simply waltz into the valley without causing an incident. What would Seeker think? It was her hope that the news from the small threehorn would soon be declared a mistake, and she could go on the difficult mission of somehow escaping from the valley without being detected. Though with the multitude of dinosaurs now gathering around the scene, this would be more difficult than she could even imagine.
“There’s Dad, Bron, Mr. Domehead, and Tria…” the fastbiter thought to herself, “And there is Chronos and Logos…”
As if on cue the rainbowface trio had something in their hands that looked like two sticks put together with a rock on the end, and they were saying some gibberish that only they could understand. Something about “Dowsing” from Chronos and something about “Nonsense” and “This is what kept you out of the good academies” from Logos.
But all of her attention was soon taken by the sight behind her father. It was a species that she had hoped she would never see again except as dinner.
“The yellowbellies?” she began to breath heavily, “What are they…”
“Alright, yellowbellies!” Bron quickly got their attention, “It is time for the valley to deploy its special weapon against sharpteeth! I take it that they have all had their berries?”
At the nods of the yellowbellies, Stern Claw’s blood ran cold. “No…”
Bron smiled an evil grin, “Then work your magic…”
It was then that Stern Claw knew what she was in. In retrospect it had all been so clear… the unexpected entry into the valley… the fact that Mr. Domehead was here even though he was dead… and the fact that the valley had yellowbellies in it who were presumably ready to fart on her…
She must have gone to the place in the Great Beyond where the bad ones went. How could the day get any worse?
“Hey, Stern Claw, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?”
Stern Claw tackled the source of the unexpected voice, hoping desperately that her pursuers had not heard the commotion. That was when she realized who she held in her claws. The only dinosaur who could possibly perfectly fit in this absurd, surreal nightmare world.
Her mate.
“Don’t you dare, Taunt!” She hissed quietly in order not to alert the yellowbellies closing in on all sides. She could already begin to smell the flatulence. “Don’t you realize what they will do if they…”
“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
Stern Claw recoiled at the sound as she tried to shake Taunt.
“Stop! They will hear us!” She could already hear the approaching footsteps of the yellowbellies. It was already too late.
“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
“Damn it, Taunt! Great… they found us, now can you stop with the…”
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“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
Stern Claw awoke with a startled gasp. She tried to get her breathing under control, but it was always difficult after that particular sleep story. She had been having it since the pack had consumed yellowbellies months prior. Ruby always attributed it to her guilt for killing those whom Stern Claw once saved, but Stern Claw thought it was just the fact that yellowbellies could rot your mind even if they were in your belly. The fact that the yellowbelly didn’t even taste all that good only added insult to injury.
Now finally in control of her senses once again, she examined the scene around her. Taunt as still asleep, though now he had all three of the little fuzzballs that were their children firmly attached to his tail. It appeared that Pouncer was a bad influence. Nonetheless, the even breathing of all of the younglings confirmed that her bad sleep story had not woken any of the young family from their slumbers.
“Next time the pack gets a yellowbelly we leave it for Path…” she mumbled under her breath as she went to lie down once more. She had no sooner closed her eyes before an all too familiar sound greeted her ears.
“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
Her eyes shot open.
“Of course the tiny biters just had to get into their Time of Eggs too…” she hissed with annoyance as she carefully nudged her daughter’s increasingly agitated body. As soon as the maternal touch was given, however, she again fell into a slumber. Now only Stern Claw was the one left awake.
If the sleep stories don’t give me something better this time then they need a new story-speaker! Despite her annoyance she could quickly feel her breathing take on a more even pace as sleep descended upon her.
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“Oh, Taunt, you shouldn’t have…”
Stern Claw basked in the sensations as Taunt carefully preened her feathers in the way that she enjoyed. It was so seldom anymore, with the eggs and now the hatchlings, to have any romance in their daily activities… to say nothing of the night. And to say that she was more than ready for this respite was an understatement.
That was when she felt his hand on her side. She knew where his mind was going…
“But, dear, the kids…”
“The little ones are sound asleep… I think you deserve some of our special time, don’t you?”
“Hmmm…” For once Stern Claw could not argue with his logic. Without hesitation she met his nuzzle with one of her own and…
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“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
Instantly the nest erupted as the children began screeching in protest at the sudden conclusion of their rest. By instinct both parents awoke in a flurry of movement.
Well, Stern Claw was awake. Taunt was struggling to get there.
“What woke up the kids?” Taunt muttered groggily as he began to nuzzle the little ones and cooing at them in the way only a parent could. His question invited an exasperated sigh from his mate.
“You don’t know?!” Stern Claw growled as she joined in the effort to calm down the little ones, “The tiny biters are busy mating like swimmers in the Wet Time, and they are letting everyone know it!”
Taunt blinked, his brain still not at full capacity yet. “What, are they using pickup lines or something?”
Stern Claw prepared to backhand her hapless mate when a tiny biter decided to clarify things.
“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
Taunt covered his ears. “Urgh… I think I prefer my pickup lines…”
Stern Claw rolled her eyes. “You would, but we have to find a way to keep the little ones asleep even though…”
“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
Stern Claw erupted as she shouted at the tiny biters in the distance.
“Oh just hurry up and screw, you mindless ankle-biters! I’m tired of hearing about it!”
As if on cue silence descended upon the territory. She had no idea if the tiny biters could understand her words during their mating time, nor did she particularly care. But as the silence began to hold, she was filled with hope.
Maybe… just maybe she could finally get some sleep.
It took the better part of several minutes, with another feeding being used to silence the three desperate mouths, but eventually the little ones quieted down and curled up to sleep.
“Well, dear, maybe this will hold until the Bright Circle greets us,” Stern Claw noted hopefully, only to be greeted by another snore. Typical. He is asleep again…if only I could sleep like that. Not wishing to waste any time, she carefully lowered herself to the ground, curling herself around her mate. It was only then that she closed her eyes.
“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
There was no breaking up of the snores of Taunt and the three younglings, nor was there an obvious disturbance as the screeching mating call echoed across the land. No, the only thing that changed was that Stern Claw’s eyes flew open with murderous intent.
And then, in an instant, she was gone.
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“Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”
The small Velociraptor sniffed the air in search of any available female. Though his kind was as numerous as the stars in the sky, it was difficult for a packless male to find a mate. But surely he could find an available mate in this unexplained gap between the tiny biter packs? If the two tiny biter packs would not take advantage of this fertile area then he surely would.
Though it was odd… why would a tiny biter pack avoid this area? It had everything, he deduced. Enough greenery to attract ground fuzzies… enough hiding places against Big Biters… and even fresh water… so where were the others?
Though he was not the most introspective of tiny biters, even he would have considered the situation a bit more deeply under normal circumstances. But these were not normal circumstances. He had the urge to mate and every instinct called to him to perform his biological duty. And even a tiny biter was smart enough to realize that duty required another partner.
So, despite an entire night of failure, he continued his instinctual call. Hoping that a lone female would join his song.
That was when he heard it – a rustling in the underbrush.
His expression shifted quickly, his tail rising in an accepting gesture. Perhaps this was a female answering his call?
He only had an instant to realize his mistake as the glowing yellow eyes of the predator appeared in the light of the night Circle, claws gleaming like falling sky rocks. No sooner than his small brain had commanded his legs to run, the fastbiter’s massive jaws descended upon his neck, permanently severing his head from his sprinting torso.
The torso didn’t stop.
“Heh,” Stern Claw muttered once she spat out the head of the annoying biter, “You see something new every day.”
It was only a moment later that she realized the headless body was running towards the nest.
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Taunt purred with contentment as his latest sleep story came to an end. Though his sleep had again been interrupted, he was contented by the sensation of warmth and comfort as he rested with his three small younglings. Even his tail was now free from his son’s stubborn grip. Despite this, however, he couldn’t help but suddenly feel that something wasn’t quite right. With that in mind he carefully moved his tail and prepared to turn around. It was when his tail did not hit anything that he realized what was wrong.
His mate was missing.
Taunt sighed as he willed himself to rise. He had no doubt that his mate had attempted to go after the tiny biter, but if she was missing then he had to be vigilant for the sake of the kids. Thankfully the sound of running feet confirmed for him that his mate had already completed her task.
“Heh… couldn’t stand the noise, huh?” Taunt pestered quietly as the tall grass opened to the running feet, “I don’t get why you can’t just…”
In a thunderous crash the torso of the tiny biter burst through the underbrush and finally slumped to the ground, the decapitated body finally going through its death throes. As the lifeless, twitching body of the murdered tiny biter landed in the nest Taunt reacted with as much decorum as he could manage.
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As soon as Seeker heard Taunt’s blood-curdling scream he ran as fast as he could, ordering Ruby to watch the children. He had always feared something like this, an attack while the children were at their most vulnerable. The pack had been lucky to only lose some of their eggs when the egg-stealers attacked but that filled him with little solace.
Had they returned?
Within mere moments he was joined by the other males of the pack, their spears at the ready. With a quick nod of the head they burst through the underbrush in order to help their endangered comrade. It was then that they noticed that the screams had stopped.
Seeker raised a hand and the others stopped immediately. As much as he hated to consider it, they had to consider the possibility that Taunt may have met a brutal end. As such, prudence was called for. Quickly moving into a V-formation, the group again quickened their pace towards the nest of their packmates, not knowing what they would find.
Seeker took a deep breath as he raised his spear. Then, with the swiftest of movements, he broke through the tall grass.
Only to see an unconscious Taunt, a bemused Stern Claw, and three small younglings jumping on the decapitated body of a tiny biter with amused chirps. Never mind how long he looked at the scene, Seeker’s brain refused to explain what his eyes were seeing. It was like seeing a flying longneck or a vegetarian fastbiter. Some things simply did not compute. It was only once Stern Claw spoke that he lowered his spear.
“Um… I think that we kind of suck at this whole parenting thing.”
