The Gang of Five

The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: Ducky123 on April 30, 2013, 06:03:57 PM

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on April 30, 2013, 06:03:57 PM
Finally Ducky123 decided to post his first fanfiction, which is still unnamed, here at the best place to share one's fanfictions: The Gang of Five's Fanart and Fanfiction section  :wow

The plot is quite similar to the original( Actually it is a parallel story/ alternative story to the Original movie).
I hope you'll enjoy reading my fic  :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prologue:
It's night at the Great Valley, the Great Nightcircle shines. All saurusses are sleeping,
snoring sounds from everywhere, the Thundering Waterfalls are thundering as always and the
little crawling creatures, who sit in the grass and are awake at night - in contrast to the most of the
saurusses - make their strange, mysterious noices.
But they all had no idea that their nests were on a powder keg, which would explode very soon.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I'm always thankful for feedback may it be positive or negative! And of course you always can ask questions, if there are some, and tell me, what you think will happen in the next chapter(s) :yes

Special thanks to somerandomfangirl, who corrected some little grammar and word mistakes! You're great  :exactly
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Nahla on April 30, 2013, 06:08:55 PM
Interesting.

Short but it was a Prologue after all.

Can't wait for the chapters :D.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on April 30, 2013, 06:24:27 PM
Hehe, I get an advanced viewing, since I'm correcting the English translations. Yes, I'm evil. :lol

Anyway, nice to see it, Ducky! I'll get those other chapters back to you as soon as I can. I'm nearly done with them, anyway. :D
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Zimba on May 01, 2013, 03:32:34 AM
Interesting,now I'm the only one in our little group with any fic/art up
I must change that at once!.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 01, 2013, 01:20:33 PM
Chapter 1: The ground is shaking at the Great Valley

Littlefoot woke up, since the ground was shaking a bit. That was nothing unusual, since earthquakes were frequent in the Great Valley. He stood up, stretched his little body and searched for his mother. She had just gone off to bring her little Littlefoot something  to eat.
The rest of his family were in the nest and were all still asleep. Littlefoot's father, a handsome longneck who was feared by all Sharpteeth, who liked to go adventuring, Littlefoot's grandfather,  an old and wise longneck, who always had a lot of advice, who always tried to dispute resolusion when the old threehorn had a bad temper and found someone to argue with, and who still isn't rosty in spite of his advanced age, and Littlefoot's grandmother, who's still a good walker like her husband and very wise, too.
He stayed quiet since he didn't want to wake up his family and watched the odd and flying buzzing things and the flyers, who gracefully flew around, but after a short time he got bored . He just debated whether he should wake up his father, when a well-known voice called his name:
"Littlefoot, come on little one! Breakfast!"
Littlefoot couldn't speak yet, but he would someday, he knew that. He was happy since his boredom ended. Looking forward to getting something to eat he ran as fast as his little legs allowed him to towards the tree that his mother had chosen to have breakfast at. However, while he was running the earth shook again - this time considerably stronger than the one that had happened earlier – and it made Littlefoot tripand fall. His mother tried to reach him, also unsteady on her legs since the earthshake was stronger than usual in the Great Valley.
"Are you ok, little one?" she asked her only son. Littlefoot stood up, walked towards his mother and laughed.
He was a brave little Longneck compared to other dinosaur children, who were extremely frightened when the earth was shaking.
Now that Littlefoot's Grandparents and his father were wide awake they had breakfast together eating tasty treestars. Then they went to the watering place with the best water that can
be found, but there was a bad surprise waiting for them...


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The chapters will be longer later in the fic :)
Thanks for the feedback so far
 :wow

Zimmy: I look forward to read your fic or fanart you might draw :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: vonboy on May 01, 2013, 02:02:47 PM
Not much yet, but it looks like its gonna get exciting next chapter. Looking forward to it.

Seeing other's here getting their fic's underway makes me feel bad that I can't bring myself to get much writing done. :(
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 01, 2013, 02:05:56 PM
that's sad to hear vonboy :( I hope it'll become better for you soon :yes
I'm still busied with PAST O RAMA so there's no need to hurry :P:
Thanks for the feedback anyway :angel
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on May 01, 2013, 03:38:37 PM
Nice work! Its certainly an interesting take on the concept of Littlefoot having a full family...can't wait to see what'll happen next... :lol:

Sorry about your predicament vonboy.  :(
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 05, 2013, 03:38:20 PM
Chapter 2: Something's wrong

Even a while before they arrived at the watering place Grandpa noticed that the temperature was higher than usual in the Great Valley, and the others noticed as well. Littlefoot let himself be carried by his father due to the heat.
A few moments before the Longnecks arrived they smelled an odd stink which they had never smelled before. When they finally arrived at the watering place, the stink was so strong that Littlefoot hid his head in the back of his father.
They weren't the only Great Valley residents who were gathered at this watering place, which was cooking and emitting malodorous fumes.
It had spread well that the watering place changed to the disadvantage of the Great Valley residents since nearly everyone of them was gathered there.
The Threehorns, the Spiketails, the Flyers, the Swimmers and many more kinds stood around the overheating lake with some distance and talked to each other loudly.
"I'm sorry, my son, I doubt we can drink here today!" Littlefoot's father told him. "The watering place has changed and it stinks worse than the breath of a sharptooth."
Littlefoot's grandparents were about to add something, when a very loud voice shouted:
"SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"                                                                                                        
The little Longneck was very frightened by this so he hid even more.
Suddenly there was dead silence . Only the continuing bubbling of the watering place could be heard. The old and cantankerous Threehorn had to say something.
"Have you ever experienced something similar, my friends? Day after day earthshakes happen and now our best watering place brings death when any of us drink the water or take a bath in it. What does that mean?"
The oldest resident, Mr. Thicknose - a Threehorn without horns, just some little roundings on his head, who had been everywhere and was known as being the wisest in the Great Valley - came to the fore and replied, "Well, the numerous earthshakes aren't uncommon, far-walkers told me that.
It'll pass. They also told me that this strange stink appears near fire pits, but I can't see any." Talking to himself he added, "But I have to admit that the temperature's higher than usual in the Valley."
A murmur went through the gathered herds. Meanwhile all herds arrived at the watering place
without exception.
The old threehorn stomped his foot and yelled, "Silence! Of course it is hot here when the water is boiling! Rather tell us why it is that hot!"
Littlefoot's Grandpa replied, "Threehorn, we already felt the higher temperature in the big Treestar woods, which lie between our resting place and the watering place!"
"Yeah! We also felt it in our cavern!" the Flyer Mommy told them, "and the winds are completely  
different today! It's very easy to fly without flattering much!"
Again they started to chatter in a mess.
"Silence!" the Threehorn roared again so that Mr. Thicknose could continue talking:
"Yeah! Warm air supports you Flyers better than cold air, therefore you can't fly well while the... "
He got no further due to another heavy earthshake that hit the Great Valley, a hollow grumbling
and thundering coming out of the watering place. Suddenly a big amount of boiling water noisily shot out of the watering place reaching a huge height that was much higher than Littlefoot's father's head was.
The gathered herds panicked and fled from the watering place.                                                                                                                                  
Littlefoot cried, scared, as his family moved back from the watering place.
Then, as suddenly as it began, the watering place stopped waterspitting...

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on May 05, 2013, 05:04:46 PM
Hmm...so, watering hole trouble, I see?

I'm enticed to see what the issue is here.  :lol: Keep writing!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Nahla on May 05, 2013, 05:11:51 PM
Is Littlefoot a baby? Too cute,

And love how his whole family is there including his Mother.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 05, 2013, 05:32:52 PM
thanks Nahla and Dosu  :wow

currently Littlefoot is only a few weeks old(--> he can't speak yet) so you could call him a baby/hatchling :)

I let him have his whole family since I thought it'd give me more ideas for the plot. I can tell you I was right. I'm not sure I'd be still writing my fic, if I hadn't his parents in it... :lol:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: jansenov on May 06, 2013, 09:05:03 AM
That the characters immediately notice the hotter air and changed winds betrays your interest in meteorology.  ;)  Which is a good thing. The more angles LBT is viewed from, the better.

Now the darn technical details. Unlike in German, in English the subordinate clause is not separated by a coma, and the English conjunction "when" is used less often than the German conjunction "wenn", so in some situations it is better to translate "wenn" as "if", "because" or some other conjunction (e.g. "because the water is boiling" not "when the water is boiling"), depending on context.  Some words are also used wrongly ("stink", "reported", "flattered"), but that is more Random's fault for not correcting you than your own.

I'll be following this story. Please keep on.  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 06, 2013, 11:49:43 AM
Thank you, jansenov :)

I'll correct my mistakes.

Quote
That the characters immediately notice the hotter air and changed winds betrays your interest in meteorology. wink.gif Which is a good thing. The more angles LBT is viewed from, the better.
Hehe, you're right :yes

Quote
I'll be following this story. Please keep on. in-yes.gif
Don't worry, I currently have written about 20 chapters so even if I get writer's block I'll have a lot of chapters to post ;) I just wanted to make sure that I will finish my fic, likely   :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on May 06, 2013, 12:52:45 PM
Okay I need to get my act together if I'm doing this correcting business, since it seems I'm not doing a very good job. I'll redo it all when I have time and send it to you, Ducky, then you can edit the posts. Sorry for not doing so well. I'll try better this time and not ruin it for you. :( :oops

The only other thing I can recommend is to find someone else who will do a better job, but we've already discussed this I suppose.

Again, I'm really sorry... :(
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: jansenov on May 06, 2013, 05:03:26 PM
^Don't take it too much to heart. Nobody is asking for perfection here. The text flows pretty well already. But I do believe that correcting the most obvious mistakes takes only a little bit more time than reading the text itself.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 06, 2013, 05:13:22 PM
I think you're right :)

I'm happy, if you can correct the grammar mistakes, somerandomfangirl, and I think you did that job  well :yes
Quote
Don't take it too much to heart. Nobody is asking for perfection here
My opinion as well :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on May 06, 2013, 05:45:15 PM
Yeah...

I guess I have been a little under pressure lately and I should wait until I'm more able to focus before forcing myself to do things which will end up rushed and not done properly. Hopefully I'll get a better correction to you soon, Ducky. I shall wait until I'm not as stressed out from things like school (which has been a BIG pain lately), and life in general before doing things so I can get it done right. Sorry again for being a disappointment.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 11, 2013, 10:24:34 AM
again a huge Thank You for you, somerandomfangirl :yes

so here's the next chapter, I guess you'll enjoy it :D

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Chapter 3: A lot of dispute

After a few minutes had passed the Great Valley residents calmed down.
"What happened?" the old  Threehorn shouted, it could be seen that he was very furious. He hated everything that changed in the Great Valley, especially if it threatened the life of his three daughters; Cera, Cara and Candy.
"It seems as if a hot spring is lying under this watering place!" Grandpa assumed, puzzled.
The Threehorn answered, "Yes, Longneck, you might be right, but none of the hot springs        
we know stinks so abominable like this one!"
"This is no ordinary hot spring, that's for sure!" Mr. Thicknose added. "I haven't seen anything like
that so far!"
"You haven't seen something like that?!?" the Threehorn raged. "All of us thought you knew everything, Thicknose, and that you have been everywhere!"
"How should I-I..." Mr. Thicknose stammered.
"All of us thought you'd know what would have to be done, but if you ask me, he doesn't know anything!" the Threehorn roared.
"But-"
"Shut up!!! Go away from here and never come back! That's an order!"
"Hey! Calm down... let's find a resolution in peace!" Littlefoot's Grandpa suggested.
"Exactly, we can't always make solutions since you always have to argue!" Littlefoot's Grandma added sending the Threehorn an accusative glare.
The gathered residents quarreled and quarreled with the old Threehorn, who throughout didn't
want to change his opinion, until the Swimmer Mommy reminded them to take care of their children.
Thereupon the old Threehorn also relented, "Well! We'll discuss that further, when our little ones
are in their nests!"
All of them agreed so every herd went their ways.
So did Littlefoot's herd.
As the Bright Circle disappeared behind the Great Wall, which shielded the Great Valley from
Sharpteeth and other dangers, and as the Night Circle appeared, it was time for Littlefoot to go
to sleep. His mother brought him a water- filled treestar since Littlefoot often became thirsty
during the night. Just as she went to nuzzle him Littlefoot said something.
"Stinky!" All of his herd heard it, and within a blink of an eye all of them stood around the little one.
"He said 'stinky'?" Littlefoot's father excitedly asked.
"I think so!" Littlefoot's mother whispered and hissed, "Don't be so loud, Bron, you're gonna wake up the whole Valley!"
"Forgive me, dear!" he answered, now with damped voice. "But this father thing's simply incredibly exiting! To see how my son grows up and learns, it makes me completely fidgety!" He grinned at his mate, who cuddled her neck against his.
Littlefoot's Grandparents looked at each other and smiled.
"He's already asleep!" Littlefoot's Grandma  stated.
"Now then, let's discuss with the other adults what has to be done!" Littlefoot's Grandpa suggested. So they walked towards the formerly best watering place in the Valley.                    

After all of the kids were taken to their nests, the adults met again to discuss whether Mr. Thicknose should stay or not and what to do against the odd events.
The old Threehorn started, "First of all, you're allowed to stay, Thicknose, but in spite of that I think of you as a swindler! You don't know more than the other residents, you've disappointed all of us!"
Mr. Thicknose answered on that, "Something like this hasn't happened yet, so how should I know
what to do?"
"You always affirmed that you know everything, Thicknose!" Mr. Threehorn retorted.
"Don't start arguing again!" Littlefoot's Grandpa sighed." We need to discuss what has to be done!"
"Yes, of course you're right, Longneck, but what can we do when no one can tell us what's responsible for the events of the last days?!" Mr. Threehorn said, clueless.
"We should keep out distance from the water emitting, hot and stinky watering place!" Mr. Clubtail suggested.
"We should block the watering place with rocks!" Mr. Threehorn's mate suggested.                          
"We should ask all our visitors for advice!" Littlefoot's Mother suggested.
"We mustn't lose sight of our kids!" Mama Swimmer shouted, scared - she had brought up 12 children herself and was very protective of all of them.
"We should do exactly that and wait to see how things have developed in our mysterious and dangerous world!" Littlefoot's Grandpa said.
"I agree with you, Longneck!" Mr. Threehorn said. "We can't do anything, so just wait!"
"To block the watering place with rocks isn't a good idea, if you ask me!" Mr. Thicknose got himself
included. "That won't stop whatever is lurking under that watering place!"
"Right! How could we heave them here, anyway?" Littlefoot's Father questioned.
"All right! When YOU say it, Thicknose, it must be right!" the female Threehorn shouted. The old Threehorn grunted and said with his leader voice:
"My friends, difficult times will come, but we'll survive them like we always did and will do. Let's go to sleep now!"
All of them went to their nests and fell asleep. Many of them had bad nightmares since they were all
frightened that they would have to leave the Great Valley and that their lives were in danger.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on May 11, 2013, 03:02:55 PM
Ducky... I think I may have sent you the wrong file. I've noticed some mistakes that I know I definitely corrected. I'll send it to you again next time I see you on Skype. :yes

Anyway, nice to see a new chapter. :D
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 12, 2013, 07:25:57 AM
Just noticed it as well... no problem :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on May 12, 2013, 09:32:30 AM
:lol: Great chapter Ducky! I like how Cera's siblings have names now too...they've always generated a bit of interest from me...

And... :o You two are on Skype??? Will you be able to message me??????  :blink:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 12, 2013, 02:39:25 PM
sure :D I can send you my skype name if you want :)

I had some ideas for Ducky's siblings, too, but the little adorable swimmer has too much siblings to name all of them :blink:
Concerning Cera's siblings I have to disappoint you... they won't play a big role...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on May 12, 2013, 02:58:03 PM
Ah well. They're still there!  ;)
My Skype name is Dosu2Dinner1. What's yours?
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 12, 2013, 05:38:53 PM
Mine would be my RL name so... I better don't make it public :lol
I added you, Dosu :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on May 13, 2013, 12:10:56 PM
Yeah, I know!  :lol:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 14, 2013, 06:00:28 PM
Chapter 4: Portentous Omen

The next days and weeks didn't bring dramatic changes in the Valley. The watering place still
spat boiling water several times a day and it heavily stunk if one got close to it, there were still earthshakes happening daily - some were weak, others were strong - and the temperature in the
Great Valley was still higher than usual. The recently born children of the Flyers, the Threehorns, the Swimmers and the Longnecks learned how to speak and they slowly were getting curious since there was so much exciting stuff to be experienced. Littlefoot was exactly like that. The little Longneck was pretty smart for his tender age. He realized that his herd was worried a lot, especially when the earth was shaking or when the watering place spat water, so one day he decided to ask his mother. "Mother?"
"Yes, my dear, what do you want to ask me?"
"Well... I just noticed that you, Dad, Grandpa and Grandma are worried a lot when the ground is shaking. That's normal so you don't have to worry! I think it's funny!" He shortly chuckled, then he listened his mother answering his question.
"Oh Littlefoot! By no means the many earthshakes are normal. They currently happen very often and the watering place is drying up and stinks awful, too! You don't know it any other way since you were recently born. The Valley changes from time to time, everything in this world changes from time to time and now we are confronted with it." She sighed and started to walk towards the Thundering Falls because Littlefoot urgently had to take a bath since he had been splashing around in the Mud Pool with his father. "Come on, little one!"
Littlefoot followed his mother and asked further, "But mother, why does everything change? And why does the water do these odd things?" Littlefoot's mother thought on that how to explain it to her son. Since she couldn't even explain these changes to herself she replied as followed:
"No one here in the Valley knows why the watering place dried up and why it does these odd things, not even the wise Mr. Thicknose! Things change! It's a fact!"
"The world we live in is full of secrets and dangers!" Littlefoot's father, who followed them, added. "Where did you come from?" Littlefoot's mother asked her mate.
"I was at the watering place again, I have bad news!" he answered.
"What's going on, dad?" the little curious longneck questioned.
"Follow me, the Threehorn announced a meeting, then you can see it yourself!"
So the Longnecks walked to the meeting point, which was at a big meadow since it'd be too
dangerous at the watering place Littlefoot's father told them about. Littlefoot was obviously happy because he didn't have to take the bath.
The herd did not directly walk to the meeting point though, as they needed to picture the changes at the watering place...
Where the watering place originally was, gaped a hole, where strange vapors were emitting. From the hole severe cracks spread out.
"We have to talk to the others!" Littlefoot's Grandpa said, so they finally walked to the meeting point.
 
When the herd arrived, it seemed that all of the residents were already gathered so Littlefoot's
Grandmother asked, " Are we the last to arrive? We just saw the degree of the catastrophe!"
"No, Mr. Thicknose is missing, too!" a Spiketail answered. "But I'm sure he'll come soon!"
"I'm sure he'll appear soon!" the Swimmer Mommy called. "You know that he's quite old and I think
that he wanted to see the changes at the watering place with his own eyes to make the right decision with his wisdom!"
The Threehorn grumbled something, which sounded like 'sure' in an ironical way.
The residents conversed quietly whispering in little groups, while the Threehorn alertly observed the dried up watering place.
Though Mr. Thicknose didn't appear...
The dinosaurs were getting uneasy so the Threehorn called, "Where the hell is this swindler? He may have made some mistakes, but he wouldn't let us down...!"
"Let's search for him, perhaps something bad happened to him!" Littlefoot's father suggested. The majority of the group agreed so the herds dispersed and combed through the Great Valley. The Longnecks were the only ones who were brave enough to look around the watering place so Littlefoot walked back there with his parents and grandparents.
There, a horrible scene was waiting for them...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on May 14, 2013, 06:07:15 PM
Ah, I noticed a little mistake I made here.

Quote
By no means are the many earthshakes are normal.

Just get rid of the second "are" and that should make sense. My bad. I've just had a read through and nothing else is jumping out at me at the moment. Sorry about that little mistake. :D

*Le gasp* MR THICKNOSE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Nahla on May 14, 2013, 06:08:51 PM
ON NO

CLIFF HANGER :o
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on May 15, 2013, 06:22:22 PM
Very nice so far, I really like how you reel the reader in. The way you write is straightforward yet the happenings are quite complex. Intriguing mixture and I'm eager to read more.

Just one thing stuck out to me:
Quote
From the hole severe cracks emanated.
This sounds like too much of a grand description. In this instance, you could probably just use the word appeared. IDK just my thoughts, and I may be the only one, but that was sticking out to me :L
Brilliant work, otherwise!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 16, 2013, 10:51:24 AM
thanks Strut :DD

Well, I meant that there already ARE those cracks... I might have used a wrong word(I remember looking 'emanate' up :P:)
I'll check it ;)

Glad ya like it :smile

EDIT: How about spread out?
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on May 16, 2013, 01:18:27 PM
Quote from: Ducky123,May 16 2013 on  09:51 AM
thanks Strut :DD

Well, I meant that there already ARE those cracks... I might have used a wrong word(I remember looking 'emanate' up :P:)
I'll check it ;)

Glad ya like it :smile

EDIT: How about spread out?
Spread out might work :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 16, 2013, 02:26:50 PM
That's good :)
Thanks  :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 26, 2013, 04:38:03 PM
Chapter 5: "We'll have to leave the Great Valley!"
 
The dinosaurs of the Great Valley were shocked. Mr. Thicknose layed close to the watering place and didn't move at all. All stood around the corpse of the once wisest resident of the Valley, nobody saying anything. For a little while nothing happened at all; just some occasional sobs, especially from the Swimmers, could be heard.
Suddenly, they started to gasp for air after a cloud of steam came out of the watering place.
"Run away!!!" the Threehorn roared, "Go! To the meeting point!"
He didn't need to say this twice... All of the dinosaurs fled from the invisible threat, coughing and gasping for air. Most of the kids were carried.
As everyone arrived at the big meadow and as all could breath again to some degree the Threehorn started  roaring.
"DAMMIT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!!! CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THINGS?!?"
Pterano, one of the Flyers, decided to respond to him. He walked into the circle and spoke, "Seemingly it poisons the air that we are breathing. Poor Thicknose wanted to see this with his own
eyes, but he got into such a cloud - like it just happened to us - and... I mean... he's quite old..."
Pterano put a tragic expression on. "Well, however... he couldn't run away in time, such a tragic loss!"
Gracefully he walked back to his place in the circle.
The Threehorn wasn't greatly happy with this answer so he went on raging, "PAH!!! SUCH A TRAGIC LOSS...!" He angrily stomped his foot so that the gathered residents startled. The little ones hid behind their mothers.    
"THAT SWINDLER WAS SIMPLY TOO STUPID TO GET THAT HE MUST RUN AWAY!!!"
"Now that's going too far, Threehorn!" Littlefoot's father incensed. "I can understand that you're
angry, but this way we'll never find a solution!"
The Threehorn wasn't far from exploding.
"Mr. Thicknose may had have his faults, but you don't have to pull him into the dirt, Threehorn!"
another Flyer added.
"Yes, it's almost sad enough that he's gone!" the Swimmer Mommy cried.
The Threehorn endeavored not to yell, "Well, as you suppose, Pterano. You still hadn't answered
my question so I'll ask it again: Can anyone explain those things?!?"
Everyone stood in silence, thinking hard. After a short while Pterano walked into the circle again, "I quite can imagine that the Great Valley is not as it seems..."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?!" it came from the Threehorn.
"From far above the Great Valley looks like a mountain, whose peak is missing. Instead of the peak
there's a hole in the middle, in which we live. For me this looks like a common smoking mountain, just bigger and with a hole instead of a fire pit!"
"Do you wanna say with that we would live above a huge fire pit, which was closed for some reason?!?" Littlefoot's father unbelievingly questioned.
"You could say so!" Pterano said. He distorted his face. Not only he, but also all of the residents had a pained expression...
"DAMMIT IT'S HOT HERE!!!" the Threehorn howled.
"Well, it seems that life doesn't give us another choice than this!" Littlefoot's Grandpa yelled out
against the noice of the perturbed dinosaurs."We'll have to leave the Great Valley!"

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: jansenov on May 27, 2013, 05:29:22 AM
I guess the steam is carbon monoxide mixed with water.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 27, 2013, 01:31:47 PM
yep, there might be a bit of CO? and sulfur in it as well ;)

hehe, I heard of that an old couple had BBQ in their house due to the depressing weather in mid-europe... you can guess what happened... no one died though :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on May 27, 2013, 02:21:24 PM
Haha, nice Pterano element. Will you narrate his eventual banishment as well? ;)
Aw, poor Thicknose... thick clouds are not usually an invitation to get closer..... WHOA!! Did NOT see that coming; a dormant volcano? Nice!!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 27, 2013, 03:04:58 PM
Quote
Haha, nice Pterano element. Will you narrate his eventual banishment as well? wink.gif
maybe ;) no spoilers  :angel

Quote
Aw, poor Thicknose... thick clouds are not usually an invitation to get closer.....
Well, he was surprised by one like the gathered residents were :D he just couldn't run off in time :cry

Quote
WHOA!! Did NOT see that coming; a dormant volcano? Nice!!
thx :DD yep, dormant volcanoes are cool 8-) though active volcanoes are even cooler  :smile
Glad ya enjoyed it :)

next one will be nice ^^
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on June 22, 2013, 06:37:35 PM
nexr chapter :D Sorry for the delay...

Chapter 6: The Getaway

Littlefoot's Grandparents and the Threehorn tried to calm them down, but they were unsuccessful because the great heat and the nascent weak earthshakes put the scared saurusses in a panic.
The Threehorn had had enough. He considered himself as the leading dinosaur of the herds since he was the strongest and the toughest of the Valley, and being the leader meant he had to protect them. Since they were panicked, they didn't know what to do, but he kept his head cool.
He used his whole strength to roar louder than he ever did in his life.
"SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLEEEEEEEEENNCE!!!!!!!!!"
Abruptly there was silence. Just the continuous grumbling out of the ground could be heard.
"We'll use the fire paths now to leave the Great Valley as soon as possible! In case we get separated we'll meet at the Great Water. There's a small oasis where we can stay for a while. Good luck all!"
Nobody asked questions. The herds walked in different directions as fast as possible.
"Mother! Why do the other herds take different fire paths?" Littlefoot asked.
"It's not very wise if all use the same fire path!" Littlefoot's Mother explained to her little son.
Littlefoot didn't understand why the Great Valley let such odd things happen. Thus he asked,
"Why is it better if we separate? You always tell me that we should always stay together
so that the Sharpteeth can't attack us?!"
His mother replied panting since they hurried a lot, "You know, Littlefoot, we made this rule
because..."
 "LOOK OUT!!!" Littlefoot's Grandpa shouted.
Above them something cracked due to the newest earthshake. The Longnecks started to run. Suddenly some boulders broke off the Great Wall which the Longnecks just climbed. The boulders fell down. Littlefoot's Mother was the last of them.
She ran for her life and for her son's. Littlefoot became panicky as he saw the boulders unstoppably  flying towards him.
"Mother, run faster!" he said vigorously to his mother.
Littlefoot's Mother ran even faster. The little Longneck saw the boulders came closer and closer.
He covered his eyes with his front legs. Then the boulders crashed into the ground with a very loud  
bang, missing his mother's tail only by hairbreadths. Littlefoot's Mother as well as the other three
Longnecks stopped running to take a deep breath because Littlefoot's Father and the Grandparents also had to run very fast.
Littlefoot opened his eyes and looked down to the formerly friendly Great Valley. Around the formerly
best watering place, some trees had already burned. Steam came out of the cracks in the ground. The multiple watering places of the Great Valley already started to boil away.
"That's just a very good example of that you firstly, always have to keep your eyes opened, secondly, don't talk except it's necessary if you're in danger so you can react to dangers quickly, and thirdly, don't travel alone, there you're right, little one!"
Littlefoot's Mother slowly recovered from her sprint so they went on their way.
"If Grandpa hadn't kept his eyes opened, my tail had been hit by the boulders so we couldn't go on
our way!" she explained further.
"Right, and if all of the dinosaurs had chosen this fire path your mother wouldn't been able to run away that fast since there would have been a congestion!" Littlefoot's Grandma added.
"Let's just disappear as fast as we can!" Littlefoot's Father shouted.
The four Longnecks ran along the fire path. Without a break, some little stones rained down from
above. Meanwhile, the ground was trembling without an interruption. It became stronger and
stronger. When they finally arrived at the top of the Great Wall a big cloud of smoke rose above the
Great Valley. Littlefoot looked back at his home, becoming very sad. He'd never see the Great Valley again. Another earth tremor brought him out of his thoughts so he could concentrate on the danger from the Great Valley.
His parents and grandparents ran out of breath. Grandma especially seemed to be at the end of her
strength. Her advanced age made it even worse.
"Should we slow down a bit, darling?" Littlefoot's Grandpa asked, worried.
"Just a little bit!" she wheezed. "If you need to, just leave me behind and safe your own lives!"
"We don't leave anyone behind!" Littlefoot's Father combatively shouted. "We're a herd and a family
so we hold on together until the end!"
"I think it's best if Grandma leads us!" Littlefoots Mother finally said. All agreed.
Now they walked slightly slower. Littlefoot didn't dare to look back since a scary rumbling came from
the Great Valley. But finally his curiosity was stronger than his fear. He turned around so he could
just see the Great Valley. They had already made a big distance.
Suddenly the earth started to tremble stronger than ever before, the rumbling increased and then
Littlefoot saw how the catastrophy happened. The ground bursted open and an incredibly big
ball of fire mixed with black ash shot out of what was once their home, with an inconceivable force. Littlefoot became panicky.
"It's happening!!!" he screamed in fear.
The Longnecks stopped immediately, turning around. They briefly saw the huge ball of fire
before all of them were torn down by an impactful shockwave...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on June 23, 2013, 11:44:55 AM
CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!  :blink:

I have to say, this has taken an interesting turn...and now there's a mass evacuation - with segregation? Interested to see where this is going...keep up the good work!  :lol
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on June 25, 2013, 09:48:53 AM
Thanks, Toby :)
it's more like a getaway (chapter headline reference  :blink: ) but it's a kind of evacuation as well.
I think segregation is not the right word since it has a negative meaning... It's just obvious that every herd sticks to its own kind :)

Next chapter will have moar action and an unexpected event... you'll see   :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Sleeping-force's-inside on July 09, 2013, 03:19:33 PM
*cowers under tower of pillows*

Well, so much for the safety of the Great Valley D:

I like the story, Littlefoot is just adorbs there :3 And if you need help translating, just tell me (isse German too)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 09, 2013, 03:29:00 PM
You're from Germany??? :wow

anyway, thanks :) I have no problems with the translating however I need a proof-reader (Molly's job so far and she does it good :)) If you're willing to proof read my fic, too, you have the job :P:
I stopped translating quite a while ago since I wasn't sure about one chapter so I send it someone and he said there is room for improvisation so I almost completely rewrote it, it's about ten times as long now :DD Unfortunatily, the person is very busied atm so he's not able to give me feed on the rewritten chapter... You want to?
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 11, 2013, 05:55:30 PM
Thought I outta update my fic, it's been quite a while :angel

Chapter 7: Trapped in darkness

Due to the shock wave, all of flying dinosaurs were brought down and they were numb for some time. Even the Flyers who had already made a big distance crashed into the ground. Many were knocked unconscious, none of the dinosaurs could continue their flight. A few of them had broken bones, inter alia an old couple of Longnecks that were located quite nearby the Great Valley.
The ground moved in waves, no one has ever experienced such a heavy Earthshake. Fiery ash soared up from the whole Valley.
Then the earthshake tailed off. Littlefoot and his family endeavoured to stand on their feet again.
After several unsuccessful attempts Grandma, who limped a bit, made it on her feet, too, so they  continued their journey. The sky above them was increasingly covered by the enormous cloud of ash whereby it became darker and darker. Littlefoot was scared thus he shyly asked his mother, "Mother?"
His mother, who still carried him, answered, "Yes, what do you want to ask, sweetheart?"
"What is up there in the cloud?"
All looked at Grandpa, since he more often than not knew an advice when all the others were clueless. He cleared his throat since his neck had become dry due to the effort and said, "This is ash! In that are tiny stones, tinier than sand corns, thus they can reach enormous heights!"
"But can the ash fall down at all?" Littlefoot digged deeper.
"Yes! And I hope that it doesn't happen right now because we're located under the ash, so it would bury us!"
"So let's hurry up because I heard that dinosaurs can smother from ash like it happened to Mr. Thicknose who was smothered due to the bad smelling vapors!" Littlefoot's Father added.
"Sweetheart, how's your leg going?" Grandpa asked.
"It's okay I think!" she defiantly replied. "I'll lead us again so you can walk my pace. In case I'm too slow leave me back!"
"We don't leave anyone behind!" Littlefoot's Father repeated. "Now come on and hurry up!"
The Longnecks hurried more than they ever did before, but the cloud of ash was much faster. It was getting darker.
After a while Grandpa questioned Littlefoot whether he could look back. So he looked back and marveled. The Great Valley couldn't be seen, instead he could see a lot of ash which fell to the ground. Frightened, he stared to the sky. He had to notice that the cloud above him didn't have a clear contour anymore, both behind and above as well as in front of them.
"Mother, Mother, I think the ash is going to fall to the ground soon!" he shouted, panicked.
The Longnecks stopped looking into the sky.
"NOOOO!!!" Littlefoot's Mother screamed.
"There's no chance of escaping the ash anymore!" Grandma objectively stated.
"No! We can make it! Hurry up!" Littlefoot's Father screamed.
"Be reasonable, Bron, we're better off if we stay together and sit out the danger!" Grandpa argued, but Littlefoot's Father was guided by his fear.
"NEVER! I wanna live, I don't wanna suffocate!!!"
"Stay, please!" Littlefoot's Mother begged, but without any success. Bron began to run.
He just screamed at them,"I'll search for you as soon as it's over! Good Luck!"
Littlefoot's Mother watched his senseless departure, stunned as well as her parents until they, and some moments later him, got swallowed by the masses of ash...

Unstoppably the grey ash fell onto the Longnecks. The three remaining grown-ups protected Littlefoot by placing him in the middle of them, and they tried to breathe in a minimum amount of ash. They waited for hours since it would have been senseless to continue the journey. The danger of inhaling the ash was simply too great. On top of that, they wouldn't escape the cloud of ash at all.
Here and there were mainly some little stones, which were so small that even Littlefoot hardly noticed them at all. In the meantime he got covered by the ash, completely.
Then it became darker and darker, provided it could become even darker under a cloud of ash. Littlefoot and his Mother were already asleep, only Grandma and Grandpa dimly talked about Bron's unexpected flight. Then their eyes closed as well, and they fell asleep.        

There'll be more action soon and if you wonder if the Gang meet each other you don't have to wait too long (depends on how fast I can upload them the next few weeks, expect more regular updates in the future)

Oh, and no Cliffhanger this time   :blink: There'll be enough to come so be PREPARED  :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Petrie85 on July 11, 2013, 09:01:06 PM
It was a very good chapter. I loved how you wrote it and I loved the fact it get's suspenseful near the end.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Sleeping-force's-inside on July 12, 2013, 01:59:57 AM
ASGSHS!!! NUH!!!! D:

Don't get buried in the ash!!!  :cry
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on July 12, 2013, 04:11:41 AM
CLIFFHANGGGGERRRRRRRRR!!!  :lol

Very good. As you can see, I liked how you ended on a cliffhanger - then again, I do it all the time.  :lol

And strange, Bron seems to have had a new dynamic. Interesting how he's putting his own skin before that of his family. I wonder if they'll find him after this is all over or if he'll just wander off...
Keep writing!  :DD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 12, 2013, 08:01:08 AM
Glad you all liked it :wow

About the Cliffhangers, my chapters usually are that short because I end them if a scene/action comes to its end or if there's a cliffhanger situation ;) This time it is actually meant to be the end of a scene but if you consider it a cliffhanger (I admit there's quite some potential for one) I'm more than okay with that :D
Always keep 'em guessing :lol:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Nahla on July 15, 2013, 02:08:00 AM
Finally caught up


Very good Ducky :D
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 30, 2013, 05:57:12 PM
Chapter 8: In search for Bron

The situation of the Longnecks didn't change over the next few days. Ash still rained down on them. It stunk and everyone could hear the rumbling from the Great Valley the whole time, it was quite loud.
On the sixth day the rumbling finally muted, the raining down of the ash decreased. Despite that it was still strong enough to stop the Longnecks from wandering further.
Finally, on the seventh day, they could continue to flee.
However, they needed to walk through the masses of ash, which was quite difficult, so they progressed slowly and laboriously.
Littlefoot asked his Grandparents, "Grandpa, Grandma, where's Dad?"
They remorsefully exchanged stares, thinking hard about how to tell it their grandson.  
Grandma started, "Well, I don't know, little one. We are in search for him and he might be in search for us, too!"
"Don't worry, Littlefoot!" his mother added.
"Yeah!" Grandpa sanguinely said, "The meeting place is a little oasis at the Big Water, your father knows that!" he smiled.
What's the Big Water?" Littlefoot questioned.
"You'll see, my dear!" his mother answered.
"But Mother!" Littlefoot whined, "I wanna know! I'm hungry and thirsty as well!"
"Same here, sweetheart!" his mother replied.
"We are as well!" Grandma told him. Grandpa nodded in agreement.
"So let's hurry up!" Grandpa recommended, taking up the top. With that he took place of
Littlefoot's Mother in leading them away, changing their path towards the direction of the Big Water.
Thankfully, they soon passed the area where the ash was especially high. That ash only was about half a metre high, so the grown-ups could easily step over it.
The Longnecks moved some ash away to have a place to rest for the night, and they lay down and instantly fell into a deep sleep due to the exhaustion of their travelling...

Throughout the next days, nothing important happened. Between the now non-existent Great Valley and the Big Water was a vast and monotonous wasteland. Hunger and thirst plagued the Longnecks.
Thankfully, Littlefoot's relatives knew quite well where they had to wander, it was very difficult for them to orientate in such a monotonous landscape.
Littlefoot whined again and again when they would finally be there. Though he always got the same reply from his mother, "We are there if we are there, little one!"
After wandering through the desert for ten days the Longnecks eventually arrived at a high sand dune.
"Do you smell that, Littlefoot?" Grandpa questioned.
"My sniffer's completely dried up!" the little Longneck responded. "I can't smell anything!"
"Well, you didn't even try!" Grandma, who was now carrying the little one, critisized.
"Right! You can't say 'I can't do that' if you even haven't tried it!" his mother caringly but not reproachfully confirmed.
"Remember that!" Grandma ordered. She was kind of harsh due to the exhaustion caused by their long travel plagued by hunger, thirst and pain.
"Okay," Littlefoot cowardly answered.
"It's alright, little one!" his mother calmed him down.
"Right behind this sand dune is the Big Water, Littlefoot!" Grandpa told.
"Yay!!!" the little Longneck celebrated.
"Though you mustn't drink from this water in any case, alright?" his mother reminded.
"Why?!? I'M THIRSTY!!!" he cried.
"The Big Water tastes awful!" Grandma explained, "And it makes you even thirstier!"
"I'll drink it!" Littlefoot definately told.
"You'll spit it out, trust me!" Grandma said as definate as her grandson.
Littlefoot ran away. His mother and his grandparents didn't try to stop him. They knew he would learn his lesson.
As Littlefoot eventually arrived at the highest point of the dune his mouth hung open. He hadn't seen so much water in his short life so far. It made those funny movements: First towards him, then away from him, then towards him again, away... The little Longneck ran to the Big Water... and jumped in it. Immediately he lost his footing due to the movements of the water. He swallowed a huge amount of water which tasted terrible, as his Grandma had told him. He coughed, swallowed even more water, coughed again, and was pulled under the surface, using his last strenghs to stay above the surface and cough his guts out.
"Littlefoot!!!" his mother, who just arrived the top of the dune, called, "I'm coming, hang in there!“
Littlefoot desperately tried not to sink, but he was swallowing a lot of water. Suddenly he perished. "LITTLEFOOT!!!" his mother screamed. She ran to the coast holding her head under the water. She saw Littlefoot lying on the ground of the Big Water and not moving anymore.
"Fortunately the water isn't deep here!" she thought. She grabbed her son's tail and pulled him out of the water.
Meanwhile, Grandpa arrived, and he took the motionless Littlefoot from her. Carefully he layed him on the ground. He softly hit him on the back with his tail, hoping it would work. Littlefoot started coughing, and a lot of water came out of his mouth. He was alive!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next one's gonna be epic... it'll be divided into seven parts and I'll post them daily once they're finished :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Sleeping-force's-inside on July 31, 2013, 04:58:19 AM
And that is how we nearly lost Littlefoot... again -_-"

I do like it, but what happened to Bron? :o
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 31, 2013, 07:16:32 AM
They got separated when they were buried under the ash cloud... Their plan is to meet Bron at this oasis they're heading to since he too knows the plan that is to meet there...

Whether they'll meet him or not you'll see sooner than you think ;)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 03, 2013, 02:42:40 PM
Hey guys! Since I'd like to submit this fic to the FF Award Voting I eventually have to give this story a title.
Unfortunately, I'm terribly uncreative coming up with names :( It would be extremely appreciated if some of you would give it a try and think of a appropriate name for my fic.
The main conflict will be revealed in the next chapter... which I hopefully can post soon. There's also the possibility to send those of you who are willing to help me the yet not proofread chapter (proofreading is in the progress atm). I'd tell you what would roughly happen in the fic so you can come up with a name easier and more efficiant.

Any volunteers? :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 12, 2013, 03:04:59 PM
Hey guys! Daily updates 'till Sunday! Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 9: The Battle

Part 1: Grandma was right!

After Littlefoot had spat out all the water again, his mother took him on her back.
Littlefoot fell asleep with exhaustion.
The Bright Circle was burning from the sky. The wind blowing from the Big Water offered little relief.
Littlefoot woke up late in the afternoon. His neck and his mouth were parched and searing from  the saltwater he had swallowed having to admit that his grandma was right. Being extremely thirsty and feeling scorched, he was startled to realise he couldn't speak. "It must be because my neck is so dry!" he thought.

He passed out soon. If he wouldn't get something to drink soon he would die. Littlefoot's herd knew that as well, so they moved on as fast as possible to reach the oasis that very night.

At dawn they finally reached the oasis, and they went to the nearest watering hole. Grandma tried to wake up Littlefoot on the back of his mother, but it was no use.
The little Longneck was very close to death, therefore she grabbed the little one, carefully placing him into the shallow water so that the water could flow into his mouth. Littlefoot drank very much until his herd finally decided he had had enough for the moment.
Exhausted from their long journey, they laid down and fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is only the first, rather boring part of Chapter 9 (yes, I decided to make it a seven-parter  :blink: ).
Y'know, I almost completely rewrote and revamped Chapter 9 (this is the main reason for why I made parts plus everything is closely related to each other) due to lack of backstory and it being rushed (thanks to Malte279 at this point for his support). This little part (one can actually call it a 'preview' :lol) survived my revamping somehow :D
It could've been included into chapter 8, actually, but I wanted to leave chapter 8 on a cliffhanger!

Expect a climax 'till the end :p

You sure wanna know what's going to happen in the next one I bet? Well... let's just say new and old characters are introduced and they're going to face a threat. Yeah, that should get you guys interested :P:

PS: Huge thanks to my hard-working proofreaders SRFG and Sleepy :exactly
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 12, 2013, 04:39:07 PM
Littlefoot is a little whinny in this...good thing he learnt his lesson!  :lol

Nice work, I'm interested to see what this'll lead up to. I wonder what Bron's doing, and everyone else who left the Valley? I hope they return soon...

And...Littlefoot's mother...? Interested to see what will happen to her...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 13, 2013, 11:34:10 AM
Well, Bron's in Lands Unknown and Littlefoot's Mother... you'll see :yes

next one :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 2: Danger Ahead

At midday the four Longnecks woke up. It was almost impossible to wake up Littlefoot though. After all of them had a drink at the watering hole, they wandered around to find a tree that has juisy treestars. As they eventually had found such a tree, they munched as much as they could since they didn't know how much time they would spend at this place. Besides, they had had a hellish hunger since they hadn't eaten anything for almost two weeks.
Just as they were about to settle down and rest to regenerate their strenght and to take a relaxing sunbath a roar could be heard in the distance.
"Mother, what was that?" Littlefoot asked, startled.
"It was a Sharptooth!" she replied.
"A sh-sh-sharptooth!?" Littlefoot screamed.
"We ought to find and warn the others!" Grandpa announced...

The five Threehorns - the old Threehorn, his mate and their three daughters - woke up. It was still early in the morning. The Threehorns were the first to arrive at the little oasis.
After the little ones had filled their tummies, they played tag on a meadow - always under the
watchful eyes of their mother.
The old Threehorn had knocked over a tree so that his mate and he could feast on the treestars.
After a while the Threehorn called: "I gonna explore this place a bit!"
"Alright!" his mate drowsily replied who just dozed a bit. "Take care of yourself, dear!"
"I will, sweetheart!" He answered, grinning, walking away.
The old Threehorn's mate watched him until he disappeared. With a smile in her face she went on dozing always keeping one eye open to watch the children splashing around in a nearby river.
After some time had passed she heard a roar that with no doubt was uttered by a Sharptooth. She immediately jumped to her feet calling her three daughters, "Cera, Candy, Cara!". She hoped  their daddy was safe...

The Swimmers arrived - as the Longnecks - in the middle of the night. They entered the oasis from the land though since the parents probably hadn't been able to keep their twelve little ones from swimming in the Big Water - the instict not to go to far from any water, to bath in it, to splash in it and to swim in it was fairly strong after all -.
Anyhow, at midday the Swimmers were rudely woken up by a loud roar. The kids got petrified, they ran around in a mess screaming and crying.
"Settle down, kids!" their mother called, none of them listened.
"HEY!" their father bellowed. This time all of them stood still listening carefully. "Come on! We ought to find the others who can fight these beasts more efficiently than us Swimmers!"

The Flyers arrived at the oasis the day before. They spent the night in a cave at the land side of the oasis. At the next morning they searched for berries.
While Pterano prefered fish, his sister, her mate and their five children rather had berries and other Sweet Bubbles. As they finally discovered some Sweet Bubbles after a lenghty search, they landed in one of the trees pleasureably munching the superbly tasting Sweet Bubbles, while Pterano was fishing nearby.
They hadn't finished their meal as a roar sounded.
"The last thing we need are Sharpteeth!" the male Flyer murmured.
"Follow me, kids, Sharpteeth are around!" the Flyer Mommy called.
Pterano came back from the fishing.
"You heard that?!?" he shouted, excited.
"We did!" his sister commented, "We must warn the others!"
"Come Petrie!" Pterano told one of the young ones who wasn't able to fly yet, "I carry you!"

Mr. Clubtail just enjoyed some farns as he heared a loud roar.
"I knew I'd need ya soon, buppy!" he commented the situation.
He watched the Flyers rising into the air. "Finally, there's some action!" he pleased.

A Spiketail family consisting of a pair of parents, a grandma and three recently hatched kids heard the roar as well. They were the only residents of this place but it was the first time that a Sharptooth dared to show his face there.
"You all know, what has to be done!" the old, frail female Spiketail stated.
"Mother!" the male Spiketail retorted, "We won't leave this paradise!"
"Yeah! We'll ally with the visitors of this oasis!" his mate confirmed.
"We'll drive those Sharpteeth out, together!"

Three Longnecks being close to finish Time of Great Growing just ate as they heard the Sharptooth roar.
"Hey Freddy! You heard this?!" one of them called.
"Yo Greg! You heard it, Melissa?"
"I'm not deaf, boys!" Melissa laughed.
"What do we do now?" Freddy asked.
"Why we kick those cowards into their ugly butts!!!" Greg announced, self-confidently.
"I consider this a stupid idea!" Melissa warned.
"Come on, scaredy-egg!" Greg begged.
"Don't you remember Greg winning against this Bellydragger!" Freddy questioned.
"I do! I won't join this nonetheless!" she declared. "I'll ally with the other dinosaurs!"
"There are more?!? Freddy wondered.
"Yeah... alright! You lead the way!" Greg compromised.
"Okay! Follow me, boys!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd be pleased if you guess what might happen next. Oh, and gimme your thoughts of the OC's Greg, Freddy and Melissa :)

Next one's gonna introduce the Sharptooth and the grown-ups will argue as usual :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 13, 2013, 11:51:43 AM
Ah, poor Freddy, he seems a little scared, bless! :D

Interesting OCs...I know they've only just been introduced, by the already have the potential to be incredible...and this spiketail family? Well...it only remains to be seen what happens to them...but why do I get the feeling death may befall some of this characters? :(

Keep up the good work!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 13, 2013, 02:42:02 PM
Thanks for your thoughts, Toby :)

Greg is supposed to be self-confident, showing off and brave but also cocky... you'll see soon enough..
Freddy shares a lot with Mud, actually. He's somewhat dump witted :blink:
Melissa is funny and friendly but a scaredy-egg if it goes to fighting.

So your guesses were quite correct :yes

Who the Spiketail Family is... keep 'em guessing :P:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 14, 2013, 04:48:47 PM
Part 3: Planning the Battle

The big green-greyish Sharptooth with eyes green as poison looked down at the oasis.
<This will be a feast my little Fastbiter friends!> He laughed.
Two dozens of Fastbiters stood around the Sharptooth in a semicircle. All of them were hungry, ready to do everything to satisfy their hunger. Though there was another thing that incided them...
<The usual way> he instructed them.
The Fastbiters charged towards the oasis on silent claws.
The Sharptooth let out an elated scream following his loyal fellow Fastbiters...

After all grown-ups and their kids had gathered on a big meadow amidst the oasis, Grandpa started talking. Everyone was listening in exitement and fear.
"Hello my friends! As you certainly noticed there are Sharpteeth nearby!"
Loud murmurs and declarations of anxiety were made.
"I know that you're probably scared but there's safety in numbers after all!"
"As most of know I actually can't stand Longnecks but I ought to agree with you: If we stay together placing our kids in our middle, nothing should go wrong!" the Threehorn spoke up.
"Pterano!" Littlefoot's Mother called, "Would you look out from above so that we won't get attacked when we're not ready yet?"
"Sure! I won't be of great help on the ground, anyway!" he joked turning seriously again, immediately.
"Return as soon as we have to fear an attack!" Grandma said.
"And tell us how many we might have to deal with!" the female Threehorn shouted. "Sharpteeth rarely attack alone!" She twinkled to her mate.
"That's correct..." he muttered.
Pterano raised up flying in the direction where they believed the Sharpteeth.
"Alright!" Grandpa continued, "We need to divide ourselves into different groups!"
"Every group will get a respective task!" Grandma went on.
"Form groups? What for?" Freddy questioned.
"Oh Freddy, silly!" Melissa giggled. "So that everyone knows what he has to do!"
"I'm with Freddy on this one!" Greg affirmed. "I tell you we simply overwhelm them!"
"Calm down, kids!" the Threehorn laughed. "You stay in our middle where it's safest!"
"But..." Greg protested.
"Why don't you let him, dear?!" Threehorn's mate whispered. "If he absolutely wants to fight, just let him!"
"He's old enough, after all!" the Swimmer Daddy confirmed.
"Why not! Then fight with us!" the old Threehorn admitted.
"You Swimmers could watch our kids!" Grandma suggested.
"But I'd like to build something to defend myself first!" the Swimmer Daddy responded.
He was known for his great skillfulness and ability to create things made of wood and rock. In the past he used to use a sharpened bough to fight which he unfortunately lost due to the escape  from the Great Valley.
"Do you think you can manage this in a time that limited?" Grandpa doubted.
"Sure! I only need a sharp-edged rock and a long, preferably straight bough!" he replied.
"Can I be of help?" the Flyer Daddy offered.
"It'd be a pleasure!" the Swimmer Daddy replied. Together they walked respectively flew away.
"Alright, the Spiket..." Grandpa was about to say but he was interrupted by Pterano who panicky fluttered towards them landing ungently.
Out of breath he shouted, "It's him, it's HIM, we must ESCAPE!!!"
"WHO!?!" the Threehorn bellowed.
"T-the one that once dared to enter the Great Valley!" Pterano exclaimed, terrified.
"The one whose brother I 'accidently' pushed down the abyss?" Littlefoot's Mother shockingly questioned.
"You got it!" Pterano sighed.
"What happened?" the old Spiketail asked.
"There's no time for this now!" the Threehorn snapped at her. "We're so many that he wouldn't even dare to get close to us!"
"I didn't reveal the worst yet!" Pterano sighed. "He has an 'army', an army of Fastbiters!"
The Dreihorn looked as if he had seen a flying Longneck.
"How many?" Grandpa whispered.
"Two dozens!!!" Pterano grimly replied.
"That's horrendous!" the Flyer Mommy exclaimed.
"Indeed!" the Threehorn who got his composure back roared. "When will they attack, Pterano?"
"You know I only understand a little bit Sharptooth but I believe that they rest and discuss everything first before they're going to attack us.
"Mother?" Littlefoot asked.
"Shhhhhht!" she made him silent.
"Let's hope that Pterano is right!" Grandpa spoke.

"You still wanna fight them!?" Melissa snappily questioned.
"S-sure!" Greg unsteadily replied.
"Idiot!"

"Now that we know the exact strenght of our enemies I consider it best to build a line!" Grandpa
proposed.
"Why of all a line? It's even easier for them to break through!" the Threehorn retorted.
"None of our lineups will stand like a mountain for long since Sharpteeth usually try to separate single individuals from the others!" Grandpa reasoned.
"Yes, but what about our children?" the Threehorn questioned.
"We will place somebody behind the fighting who protects the children!" Grandpa responded.
"I watch our little ones!" the Swimmer Mommy offered.
"Sure you can but you're not strong enough to defend them!" the Threehorn retorted.
"I defend our children!" Littlefoot's Mother exclaimed.
"I was about to propose that, my daughter!" Grandpa spoke.
"But we need strong fighters at the front!" the Threehorn who slowly got annoyed by the Longnecks screamed.
"We also need someone who can actually protect the children!" Grandma furiously argued.
"Humpff!"
"Enough disputes for today! Let's rest so that we're fit for the fight when it starts!" Grandpa
suggested.
Everyone agreed. Most of them ate and drank something to strenghten their bodies. Pterano spyed the pack without getting any news worthy to tell.
After a while - the Swimmer Daddy and the Flyer Daddy were back in the meanwhile - Grandpa walked to the Spiketails to ask if they were still willing to listen to the story. They affirmed.
Grandpa gathered everyone around him and started narrating...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+
I'm still interested in your thoughts guys :wave

Next one's gonna have a flashback and a lot of backstory.. the tension grows... :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 15, 2013, 09:11:35 AM
And so the eve of battle begins!  :wow  :lol

Nice work! I find it quite interesting how, even though there are species disagreements still, they realise they all depend on each other. And Greg, you reckless lad...I hope he's OK... :blink:

And flashbacks? I'm looking forward to seeing them too...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 15, 2013, 03:55:27 PM
Thank you :smile yeah.. Greg is just ... :slap
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 4: Vendetta

"Some years ago two gigantic Sharpteeth entered our home, the Great Valley! Although our valley was protected by a big wall, they were able to break into the valley. Of course they were noticed quickly. As we do today we gathered trying to drive those Sharpteeth out of our valley. The Sharpteeth were tough and hard to beat but due to our majority, we could drive them back. Then, nearby an abyss, my daughter pushed one of the two into this very abyss. He was never seen  or heard of again. The remaining Sharptooth was extremely furious. Since he had no chance in a fight against us, he flew off into the Mysterious Beyond!"
"I'm afraid that he is on a vendetta now!" Grandma finished the story.
"Yeah, it's hard to guess who he wants to get rid of!" the Threehorn shouted sarcastically earning him a few furious glares.
"I'll leave him toothless if he makes it to me!" Littlefoot's Mother shouted grimly.
"Pterano, keep on the lookout for these beasts!" the Threehorn ordered. Pterano obeyed him though he didn't like the way of the Threehorn spoke to him at all.
When he came back, he had bad news...

The Sharptooth had indeed allowed his followers to have a break since the leafeaters were well organized so they would be harder to beat. Though he would beat them, even if it is the last thing he did... Finally, he would be able to avenge his brother! He had gathered loyal Fastbiter-followers for years; he wandered through the land in search of trustworthy followers... and now he didn't even need to set foot into this bloody Great Valley... This day seemed to be a lucky one.
He was still able to remember every tiny detail. He recognized every leafeater that had battled him and his brother back then and he especially recognized the murderer of his brother. How could he even forget her glance after she had pushed HIM into this abyss... pure pleasure!
If only he had been able to fight her, one-on-one as it should be… but she would be protected so he would need to take on the others first. Too bad that that damned spy had told them it's him. He would have been able to attack them, take them by surprise and no one would have recognised him in time.
He felt it was time to attack.
<Enough resting! We're going to attack now!>
The Fastbiters stood up and got ready. They hadn't had a meal in a while so they were even more motivated to take on the leafeaters.
<Kill as many as possible! But don't attack the killer of my beloved brother… she belongs to me…>
The group made their way to the leafeaters...

"They are attacking!!!" Pterano screamed from a distance. He made a rough landing. "They're coming..."
"Fine! Everyone to their positions but keep some distance between each other!" the Threehorn barked.
He created the lineup: rightmost the Spiketails, next to them the Threehorns, then the Swimmer Daddy, Mr. Clubtail, Grandma and Grandpa Longneck and leftmost Greg, who declared he would fight on the end of the lineup, Freddy and Melissa. Pterano and the Flyer Parents would throw stones that they collected with the Daddy Swimmer who, in turn, would fight with his sharpened tree branch to distract them.  The Mummy Swimmer would watch the children alongside Littlefoot's Mother protecting them.
"Candy, Cera, Cara! Stay behind me and watch so you can see how to fight!" the old Threehorn shouted at his daughters.
"Do I need to remind you that we agreed on the Swimmer and my daughter to protect ALL of the kids?" Grandpa retorted.
"I'd like my kids to stay with me as well!" the Daddy Spiketail said calm but resolute.
"My little ones, stay with me!" the Mummy Swimmer shouted indignantly.
"Mine too!" the Mummy Flyer agreed.
"You too Littlefoot!" Grandma reminded.
"Yeah! Mother protects me!" he smiled slightly.
"Come on little one!" his mother called.
"Coming!" the little Longneck replied.
"They're coming!" Mr. Clubtail called grabbing everyone's attention. The pack stormed out of a wood not far away.
"Everybody to their positions!" the Threehorn barked. They obeyed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There you have it! I wonder what you think about Ducky's Father fighting with a spear-like stick... Do you think it's rather weird and unneccessary (I can't argue about the first one but for the second one I have a reason that I sadly can't name now in order not to spoil :angel)?

Anyway, the time of waiting for action is over... won't say more
 :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 16, 2013, 06:03:32 AM
And here the action comes... :DD

Interesting chapter. Is it strange that I kind of feel sorry for the sharptooth whose brother was killed? If he is as 'beloved' as he claims, it must be bad for him.  :(

And I noticed you mentioned flyer parents - I wonder what happens to Petrie's father. He's not included in any of the films, so that'll be interesting to see... :blink:

Oh, and hello Greg, again... :lol
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 16, 2013, 05:31:44 PM
Toby, SHARPTEETH ACTUALLY HAVE NO FEELINGS :lol :lol
Nah, it's not bad and I promise you'll bury this feeling soon enough.

Yes, Petrie's Father is interesting :wow

Thanks for your words, you're my only reviewer atm.. feel proud of that :p
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here we go, part 5. WARNING: MIGHT BE DISTURBING FOR YOUNG CHILDREN!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 5: The Battle

The 'battlefield' was a big meadow bounded by a rock wall at one end and by the river streaming through the oasis on the other side. The invaders came from another direction; where a wood grew. The only escape path would lead back to the Big Water...

The Fastbiters divided into groups on approach, already targeting different dinosaurs...
Then both groups collided. Greg, Freddy and Melissa clashed with a Fastbiter each, Grandma and Grandpa even fought against eight of them in one go! Mr. Clubtail and the Daddy Swimmer faced off against another three beasts while the Threehorn and his mate battled against six of them and the Spiketails took on four of the Fastbiters. The Sharptooth observed the action but stood close enough to intervene if his Fastbiters needed support.
 
It only took a few moments for the attackers to claim the first casualty. Four Fastbiters  pushed Grandma to the ground with a well-coordinated jump. There, they started to bite down on the now defenseless Longneck and cut into her with their razor-sharp claws. Grandpa was under such pressure from the other four that he couldn't come to the rescue.

"Mother, you must help Grandma!!!" Littlefoot screamed in a panic.
She made a quick decision, having seen the large amount of blood weeping from Grandma. Neglecting her duty to protect the children, she ran over to save her mother's life. With only a few steps she arrived, and with her tail raised, began beating all four Fastbiters so that they flew high through the air.
Grandpa whispered a weak 'thanks' but she remained lying at the ground, covered in blood and paralysed by pain.
"You have to protect me!" the Swimmer criticized.
"Run away! We can't hold the line…" she shouted just as a Fastbiter tried to jump on her back. Masterfully, she whipped him away with her tail. "…I'm afraid!" she finished her sentence.
The Swimmer stayed, despite wanting to flee as it was too dangerous for her and her kids to attempt to make an escape right now.
 
Meanwhile, the beasts had brought the old Spiketail down. However, the Daddy Swimmer and the Threehorn's mate stabbed each of their opponents with their respective weapons, killing them.
 
The Sharptooth had to admit that the fight would end in a tie if he didn’t join it. He let out a howl before charging at the Threehorns...
 
Greg basically fought against four Fastbiters on his own. Freddy, and especially Melissa, were too frightened by the beasts and poorly experienced in self-defense to be of much use. Greg was just about to give his friends some orders when one of the Fastbiters rammed its head into Greg's side. Greg fell to the ground and the others immediately approached and bit into his neck. Greg flinched a few times before laying completely still.
 
Melissa needed a few seconds to realise what just happened. One of her friends had been killed right before her eyes. She just wanted to be far away! Turning around, she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. One of the Fastbiters gave chase...

Freddy, on the other hand, became incredibly furious. The death of his best friend gave him unexpected bravery. He had almost nothing to lose now so he stormed towards the three Fastbiters ramming one of them with his body. As he slowed down, he struck the other two with his tail. However,  the beasts recovered quite fast and with a coordinated attack, all three of them jumped on Freddy's back simultaneously. Freddy was doomed; he was bitten severely. Freddy couldn't shake them off as more flesh was ripped from his body. He became weaker and weaker until he could not feeling any pain anymore. Eventually, he fell to the ground and awaited his fate.

While the Fastbiters attacked the old Threehorn, relentlessly attacking him, although most attempts ended in a painful counter, the Sharptooth immediately took on his mate.
 
The Spiketails were inferior to their opponents. The old Spiketail was heavily injured and both grown-ups had to stand one hit after another. The female who carried their children on her back was unsteady on her feet.
"Run kids, run!" she whispered weakly. Two of the Fastbiters had bitten her leg causing her to crashto the ground. The thr ee kids screamed and ran away. The Fastbiters however snapped at the kids catching two of them, the other one was able to escape. It ran and ran crying until it eventually had left the oasis. The father of the little ones tried to escape with the last of his strength but he failed. The Fastbiters jumped on him until he finally collapsed; hunted down just like his mate...

After Threehorn's mate had bravely survived the Sharptooth's first onslaught, the Sharptooth and the female Threehorn spied each other. The Sharptooth knew that the Threehorn would be tough to defeat. Threehorns were the only leafeaters that were best equipped to kill a Sharptooth. Other kinds were also able to injure or even kill them like Clubtails or Longnecks though...
The Sharptooth approached her cautiously as the Threehorn fearfully shuffled backwards, all the while keeping a sharp eye on the beast staring down on her. He drove her back in the direction which he came from while the Fastbiters forced the other Threehorn to move in the opposite direction...
The mate of the old Threehorn was frightened. She knew exactly what the Sharptooth had in mind, and she was even letting it happen. Plucking up the courage, she charged forwards surprising the Sharptooth...

Mr. Clubtail and the Swimmer were separated as well. Each of them had to face two Fastbiters since the two beasts that had fought against the Longnecks had 'replaced' their dead companions.
While Mr. Clubtail was amused by the fighting - he was pretty tough to defeat due to his excellent armour and his dreaded bopper after all - the Swimmer was in big trouble. He’d suffered a bad cut on his strong arm almost leaving him unable to fight. Still, he wasn't willing to give up. He bravely fought off the attacks of the two Fastbiters but they knew the Swimmer was injured and seemed to be dodging more than fighting. Even then, he could only take on one of them since he only had one working arm. As his opponents were distracted by one of the Flyers, the Swimmer charged at them, his sharpened branch raised. Their reaction was quick and they got out of the way. The Swimmer, who had put his whole strength and hope into the attack, stormed past them, stumbled and fell. He lost his weapon and now escape was the only remaining option. Although the ground was more comfortable than anything he’d ever lied on, he heaved himself up to start to run. One of the  Fastbiters came closed in quickly.

The Mummy Swimmer and her twelve little ones watched the fight, shocked and startled. Everyone of them, except one girl that had secretly walked away from her mother who was too busy watching her mate. The little swimmer began following a butterfly, jumping up at it...
 
Mr. Clubtail left his opponents, who were neither able to attack him nor able to defend themselves anymore, toothless and moved to the Longnecks who, in the meantime, were completely encircled…
 
In a nosedive, Pterano had just saved the old Threehorn from a dangerous attack by giving a Fastbiter, who had sneaked behind the courageous Threehorn as he was fighting, a powerful blow to the head knocking it out just as it was about to jump onto the Threehorn’s back. Blood oozed out of a gaping wound at the back of its head.
"After all the years I'm still strong!" he rejoiced inwardly, surprised that the attack had incapacitated the beast. He flew higher into the air to get a better view where his help might be needed most.
Suddenly, a couple of things almost simultaneously happened...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Already have enough of the Fastbiters? There'll be moar! I warned you..

Yeah.. quite some losses, amongst them almost every OC...
Any guesses who the Spiketails are/were?

PS: I need to speak out my appreciation to Jason/Littlefoot1616 for proofreading on the highest level!

next part will be unusually long...  

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 18, 2013, 12:08:32 PM
No, Greg!!!  :cry

I suppose at least his death gave Freddy new courage...though I think they should have been protecting the children, if they weren't prepared to fight.  :lol

And so the battle commences, and it seems to me that this grand old sharptooth has the upper hand. That was a real tough decision for Littlefoot's mother, the kids or her own mother? I wonder she may have to make such decisions later... :unsure:

And I'm guessing one of those fleeing spiketails was Spike?  :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 18, 2013, 06:30:02 PM
You'll see... ;)

I'm late :oops should've been uploaded yesterday...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 6: Death Everywhere

Pterano watched helplessly as the battle suddenly turned to the misfortune of the leafeaters.
Melissa couldn't run further since her legs became too heavy. The Fastbiter that chased her slowly approached. Melissa had only one option - no matter how much she hated it: she had to fight. She turned her back side towards the beast brandishing her tail.
The Fastbiter paused considering how to pass this 'barrier'. Eventually, he made a decision. He aimed at his victim, jumped and landed on the young Longneck. Melissa screamed as the beast bit her tail and her back with its razor-sharp teeth. Melissa tried to shake the attacker off, but she failed. With every fruitless attempt, with every piece of flesh that was torn out of her body, she became weaker. Finally, her vision blacked, her legs weakened and she crashed to the ground. Her last thought was that she had at least tried...
    
The two Fastbiters had caught up with the Swimmer. The Mommy Swimmer grabbed her little ones and ran away. She didn't want her little ones to watch their father die but also because the others couldn't guarantee her safety any more. She was in such a hurry that she accidentally forgot about Littlefoot hiding in a bush...

The Swimmer knew that it was over as he saw the ugly snouts of the beasts to the right and left of him. His last thoughts were of his family who hopefully didn't have to watch him get hunted down. One of the two Fastbiters jumped for his throat, ending his life quickly and without any pain...

The Sharptooth was still battling with Threehorn's mate. Both hardly harmed each other so far though, as the Sharptooth didn't WANT to harm her yet. He waited for the right time to attack which was just about at this moment...
His companions had just taken over control of the brutal battle which worked in his favour. Since he studied his opponent very well while pretending to truly fight her, he knew exactly what to do. He roared an important order to his Fastbiters. At that moment, he pretended to be distracted.
The mate of the Threehorn eyed her chance and stormed forwards...
 
Mr. Clubtail, Littlefoot's Mother, Grandma and Grandpa were meanwhile separated from the Threehorns. They were encircled by a dozen Fastbiters, who again and again attacked to weaken them. The fight was becoming tiresome and they had taken quite a beating. Some of the beasts were already injured so the group still considered a victory possible if they stood their ground.
The Fastbiters heard the order of their leader, promptly translated it into action. They stopped attacking and stepped back a few meters. The leafeaters took the opportunity to talk.
"Is everyone alright?" Grandpa inquired sending a worried glance to Grandma who looked pretty bad.
"It's... alright!" she groaned in pain.
"Those critters are tougher than I thought!" Mr. Clubtail cringed morosely.
"Yes, I’m afraid you’re right!" Grandpa sighed.
"You think the Swimmer is safe?" Littlefoot's Mother questioned apprehensively.
"I saw her running away a little while ago," Grandma replied quietly.
"Whoo! That's good news!" Littlefoot's Mother exclaimed. "I was actually supposed to protect her!"
"Where is this Sharptooth by the w..." Grandpa was about to ask as the Fastbiters jumped all of a sudden catching all four of them by surprise. A dozen Fastbiters flew  towards the completely unprepared Longnecks. Most of them hit Grandma, causing her to fall. Grandpa was the other victim. Mr. Clubtail and Littlefoot's Mother weren't attacked at all. They tried to rescue Grandma who defenselessly lay on her side. Mr. Clubtail jumped on one Fastbiter who had a hard crash to the ground as Grandma fell over. With some well-placed hits of his club, the beast was eliminated for good.  Meanwhile, Littlefoot's Mother flung the other Fastbiters off Grandma's body using her tail. Grandpa had Fastbiters attacking his right side so he let himself fall to the right side on purpose. The ground shook as if an earthshake had just happened as Grandpa crashed on the ground, crushing the Fastbiters beneath him. Both Grandpa and the Fastbiters remained lying there, not moving at all...
 
The Sharptooth only saw the charging Threehorn out of the corner of his eye. A second later and she would have hit him. He used all of his strength to jump high into the air so that the mate of the old Threehorn stormed past him, missing her target. He easily landed on his feet as the Threehorn decelerated her pace. Right when she was about to turn around to start the next attack, the Sharptooth rammed his massive head into her flank causing the Threehorn to tumble to the ground. The Sharptooth let out a triumphant roar, stooped above the female Threehorn who was now frozen with fear and bit her. A monstrous wound gaped on her stomach. The Sharptooth bit her again, tearing more flesh out of her. The mate of the Threehorn yelped in pain.

The old Threehorn heard his mate's scream. He tried to reach his mate in panic, but the Fastbiters prevented him from reaching her. They even managed to drive the Threehorn back whilst one of the Fastbiters started hunting his three daughters, who were still watching their father fighting from a distance, startled. The Threehorn didn't hesitate. Determined, he chased after the Fastbiter. The others followed the Threehorn, trying to cut his back...

The Sharptooth bit a couple of pieces out of the Threehorn's mate until he was absolutely certain that she never would get in his way again. He roared another order, walking in the direction of the Longnecks but not straight...

Littlefoot's Mother killed another Fastbiter by stepping on him after she headbutted him to the ground. Mr. Clubtail, however, had been severely bitten for the first time as all of the beasts that were still able to fight suddenly rushed towards him. The big horde of them threw him to his side so that the Fastbiters could get at his underbelly. But then the eight remaining Fastbiters realized that one of their companions just got stumped on. They angrily let go of the visibly relieved Mr. Clubtail, charging at Littlefoot's Mother instead, although they weren't allowed to attack her. One of them though walked to Littlefoot's Grandparents who lay on the ground, injured. He was just about to bite Grandma's tail when Grandpa beat him with his own. The beast was flung into the horde of the Fastbiters storming towards Littlefoot's Mother, hitting two of them. Grandpa tried to get back up...
 
The beasts ran faster than the Threehorn. There were only six of them remaining; the rest of them were either injured or dead. Three of them jumped on the Threehorn from behind, slowing him down. The other three were after the children, who ran away, although one of the three girls started her getaway earlier.

Pterano had to spectate the happenings from above. There was nothing - absolutely nothing - he could do to help. The Threehorn's mate was dead, the children would be torn apart right before his eyes in the cruellest way. Yet an idea came to his mind.
 
Candy and Cara ran for their lives, but they were far too slow to escape the fast meat-eaters; their name was Fastbiter with a reason. They were caught, and their short lives were ended by a bite of the beasts.

Pterano knew that his plans were pure suicide. Nonetheless, he had to try. He also knew that the kids lagging behind couldn't be helped anymore - he was simply too far away from them - but since he couldn't save more than one kid, anyway, he started to dive...
 
The old Threehorn shook his opponents off just in time to see that his daughters had just been eaten. An indescribable rage poured through his body, his blood boiled. Then he screamed so incredibly loud that leaves fell to the ground. It was a scream for retaliation, revenge and satisfaction in which sorrow, grief, anger and despair could be heard. All these feelings mobilized unexpected strengths in the Threehorn, adrenaline poured through his veins. He charged at one of the murderers violently pinning him to a thick tree that stood nearby. The Fastbiter was dead on impact.
Right after that, he charged at the other murderer. He was prepared on the attack though, and he charged at the raging Threehorn, too, and jumped...

The scream of the Threehorn and the Fastbiter sent through the air distracted the attackers by Grandpa allowing Littlefoot's Mother to trip all of them with her tail with no problems. Grandpa made it on his feet though he felt pretty dizzy...
 
The Sharptooth saw the little Longneck Baby. <Probably the offspring of that Longneck> he thought. He walked towards the hiding place, bursting with inwardly delight. He imagined that Longneck's expression if she had to helplessly watch her son getting devoured...
 
The Fastbiter, who chased the still alive Threehorn girl, almost certainly had his prey. Pterano desperately tried to somehow reach the girl. As the Fastbiter just stooped opening his mouth, Pterano changed his plan in a flash. He amended his flight path, hitting the Fastbiter's eye directly. The beast howled in pain, lashing around whereby he nearly caught Pterano with his claws. Eventually, Pterano reached the still running girl, caught her and raised her high into the sky. At first she was panicky. She screamed and struggled to free herself. "Calm down, I will fly you to a save place!" Pterano said trying to calm her. He headed for a tree in which his nieces and nephews had flown to be safe...

The Threehorn didn't let himself get distracted by the counterattack. With a terrible impact the Threehorn threw his opponent high into the air - as high as a Longneck was tall when it straightened up to reach the highest, lushest treestars of a high and old tree like the one to which he had just pinned the other Fastbiter to. He flipped uncontrollably, rotating around his own axis. Then he crashed into the ground, landing on his spine with an awful sound. He would never harm anyone any more.

Satisfied, the old Threehorn acknowledged his achievement yet immediately the sadness due to the fact that he had lost his whole family replaced his pride. He suddenly felt weaker than he ever felt in his whole life. Yet the wrath quickly prevailed over the grief, new energy renewed his strength. In thoughts of his father who had always drummed into him to stay tough, never give up and chiefly fight, he ran towards the Fastbiter that had been attacked and blinded by Pterano...

Littlefoot's Mother saw three more Fastbiters joining their companions. Quickly, she got back to her parents who weren't able to defend themselves at that very moment; Grandma still lay on the ground, not attempting to get up at all.

The Sharptooth stomped towards the little Longneck baby, who seemed to have not noticed him yet...
 
Littlefoot had been spectating the whole fight, scared. Since his Grandma had fallen, he even cried a little bit because he was worried that something bad had happened to her. Suddenly, he felt the ground shaking. An earthshake? Then he heard a loud stomp. Were earthshakes able to stomp? Eventually, he saw the cause of the tremor that increased to a violent shake in the meanwhile. It was a horrendous, ugly Sharptooth with a wide-open mouth and eyes as green as poison who stomped right towards him, uttering a loud roar. Littlefoot cried out for his mother but the Sharptooth ran fast...

Littlefoot's Mother and Mr. Clubtail bravely defended the two injured elderly Longnecks. Grandpa tried to help Grandma get on her feet again. After some attempts it worked, although Grandma was barely capable of standing on her feet on her own. She had lost too much blood and some of the wounds were still bleeding, though far less than when she had first gotten them.
Littlefoot's Mother just almost let a Fastbiter through because she heard a scream in the distance sounding like 'mother'. Then, she suddenly heard a familiar roar. She knew it, it was the same roar that she’d heard years ago. She flung the beast through the air so that it crashed into one of his companions, and both remained laying on the ground. She heard this scream again, this time she was sure. It was her only son who uttered the scream and her biggest enemy was trying to end her son's life.
Without paying attention to the completely exhausted, feeble and discouraged Fastbiters she ran to her son...
 
The Sharptooth came closer and closer. He roared an important order to his fellows who lay on the ground, yet the Fastbiters remained lying there. Some were dead, almost all of them were injured, many of them weren't able to take on the leaf-eaters any more. They would rather have had to watch, and not get attacked in the first place...
He furiously directed them again. Three stood up but they didn't attack because Grandpa and Grandma were, at least theoretically, able to fight them off, meanwhile.
The Sharptooth saw his archenemy charging at him. If he caught the little one, she would beat him with her full power, and he couldn't and didn't want to let that happen. Frustrated, he changed his aim...

Pterano called the parents of his nieces and nephews sharing his plans with them. “We need to get all of the children to safety! It's not safe here anymore and we can't protect them well enough!" he reasoned.
His sister considered. "You're right about that, Pterano! But where are they safe from those beasts?"
"Perhaps to the cave we slept in last night?" her mate suggested.
"Right!" Pterano exclaimed as if he just invented the wheel. "It can only be reached from the air and there's some water and food!"
"Pterano, you carry the little Threehorn, follow me first though!" the male Flyer ordered.
"Agreed!"
“And you, dear, will carry the Longneck!" the male Flyer said now turning to his mate.
"Yes!"
The Flyers flew to the fighting dinosaurs, Pterano with the little Threehorn on his back, which was much easier than carrying it with his claws.
 
The Mommy Swimmer was pretty worried. She hadn't heard anything of the further actions of the battle, though she honestly didn't want to know anything at all. The only thing that counted was that her family was safe. Although she likely wouldn't find more of her mate than his bones, at least the offspring were safe. She looked at her little ones who were unusually quiet. Suddenly, she noticed that one of her children, Ducky, was missing...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breath, guys! You made it! Though there's one part left still :exactly

What'll happen? ACTION my friends, action :DD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 19, 2013, 12:21:33 PM
So much death... :wow  :cry

But very good! I have to say, this battle is very gory, but it makes it more realistic, and more threatening...so, excellent work!  :yes

This sharptooth is certainly a tough one, though I still feel sorry for him.  :lol And I want his infinite supply of fastbiters...

What will happen now?  :blink: I get the feeling I know where Ducky has wandered off to... :DD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on August 19, 2013, 04:25:23 PM
Anndd I'll finally squeeze in a short review here for you. :p

Very brutal battle going on here so far... and a lot of deaths...

Oh great. Ducky wandered off at one of the worst possible moments. :p

Anyway, great battle so far! Really brutal and there's a lot going on, but that's good. :D
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on August 23, 2013, 11:07:16 AM
Finally caught up! Whoa, what a read :o

This fanfic has really switched into high gear with all the happenings, it seems like there's no room to breathe there is so much going on; you can't let your guard down on a fic like this, lol

What I love (LOVE?? STRUT, what is wrong with ya!?) is how you tie this in with the happenings of the first movie - how the little ones are separated and some characters, like most of the parents are not shown or mentioned at all. Very nice, I also like the subplot with the sharptooth. A new villain, eh? muahahaha...
Keep it up, Ducky! This was... (terrible, saddening, heart wrenching) awesome! ;)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 23, 2013, 02:43:48 PM
Glad ya liked it :DD You basically got my idea :) So I bet you have already guessed who's going to die in the last part which, with 5 days delay, will be on fron NOW on:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 7: Eye for an Eye, Tooth for a Tooth

Littlefoot hid behind a tree. From there, he watched as his mother slowed down right before the
crashing into the Sharptooth, who had his mouth opened wide. Throwing her massive body against
him, she rammed him causing him to crash into a tree that broke in two.
"Run, Littlefoot, RUN!!!" she shouted at her son.
"Where???" Littlefoot cried in fear.
She looked to her parents and Mr. Clubtail who seemed to have the situation under control.
"To your Grandparents!"
Littlefoot didn't hesitate any longer because the Sharptooth, writhing on the ground, had gotten to his feet again.
Uttering a furious roar, he charged at Littlefoot's Mother again. She evaded his attempt to ram her but she couldn't start a counterattack. The Sharptooth stomped towards her, slowly driving her away from her parents. She had to fight him all alone. One on one, only one would survive ...

"I bet they're done!" Mr. Clubtail called to the two elderly Longnecks. Grandpa nodded before noticing Pterano and the two other Flyers coming, growling something.
"Longnecks!" the male Flyer called. "We're carrying all kids into this cave!" He pointed in the direction of the cave.
"Where's your little one? the female Flyer questioned.
"To be honest, I don't know," Grandpa sighed. "I believe that he is either with the Swimmers or hiding somewhere!"
"There he is!" Mr. Clubtail remarked. At that moment, Littlefoot came running from the direction where his mother was fighting against the Sharptooth.
"Littlefoot!" Grandma exclaimed weakly and Grandpa gave her a worried glance.
"The Flyers will take you to a safe place!" Grandpa told him.
"Why Grandpa?" Littlefoot questioned.
"'Cause it's too dangerous here, so come on!" the male Flyer ordered.
Littlefoot trotted reluctantly to the Flyers and climbed onto the female Flyer's back. Now, Pterano, with the Threehorn girl and the Flyer Mommy with Littlefoot on their backs, flew off to bring the two to the safe place.
"Where's the old, grumpy Threehorn, by the way?" Mr. Clubtail wondered.
 
The 'old, grumpy Threehorn' had just chased after the half-blinded Fastbiter who took refuge from the bloodthirsty Threehorn. However, he was too slow and too exhausted and the Threehorn rammed him to the ground stabbing him to death with his horns.

Littlefoot's Mother kept moving backwards. Slowly but surely, they approached the river. She used all of her courage to stay where she was. The Sharptooth also stopped. They looked deep into each other's eyes; pure hatred in their stares but neither of them wanting to make the first step...

"Shouldn't we help your daughter?" Mr. Clubtail questioned.
"I doubt that I can get there at all!" Grandma whispered despairingly.
"We can't just stand around doing nothing! We must do something!" Grandpa spoke up determinedly.
"I agree!" the Daddy Flyer, who was carrying his son who was incapable of flying, on his back, got involved himself. "I'll try to distract this bully, you try to join her as fast as you can!"
"Okay, I'll support you, dear!" Grandpa said.
They slowly walked in direction of the fight between the two as suddenly a polyphonical yelling sounded...
 
Littlefoot's Mother became impatient. She approached the Sharptooth unobtrusively while they circled around each other. When she eventually was close enough to start a surprising attack, she raised her tail, turned around and whipped it at the Sharptooth catching him completely off guard. After he had recovered from the shock, he stormed forwards striking the Longneck's left hind leg with his claws. Littlefoot's Mother suppressed the urge to let out a cry...

Meanwhile, the Fastbiters had jumped to their feet, threatening the little group. They slowly forced them to move back. None of the two parties dared another attack since both had suffered too many losses. The only aim of the beasts was to prevent the leaf eaters from reaching their boss.
"I suppose we'd better stay here," Grandpa growled.
"Right!" Grandma commented on the situation. She saw it with a laughing and a crying eye. On the one hand, she was glad that she did not need to walk all the way to fight against the Sharptooth, but on the other hand, she was aware of the huge strength of the Sharptooth. Her daughter was in a miserable situation so she silently hoped the best for her daughter.
 
Littlefoot’s mother raised her tail again but missed her target as the Sharptooth luckily evaded. He rammed his head against the flank of the Longneck, nearly causing her to fall. The Sharptooth was just about to take a bite out of her when something landed on his head. He tried to seize the unknown interference but the brave Flyer was already in the air again, flying some distance above his head.
Littlefoot's Mother took the opportunity to trip the perplexed Sharptooth with a vigorous swing of her tail, causing him to crash into the dirt face-first. Immediately, she tried to pull one better by striking some more on the head. Despite the blows, the Sharptooth stood up again.  He jumped towards the Longneck in rage, landing at her right shoulder. His attack left deep cuts where his claws on his hands and feet drilled into her flesh in search of a foothold. Littlefoot's Mother  groaned under the pain this time, but she could, however, shake off the Sharptooth, who still couldn't find a  proper foothold. With a beat of her neck, her attacker found himself on the ground again but he virtually got to his feet right away. Uttering a furious roar, he started on the offensive.
The Flyer dove down to distract the beast by flying past him tightly. At that, he unfortunately underestimated its eyesight and its ability to react quickly as well as its reach.
The Sharptooth raised his arm, slashing the stomach of the Flyer who instantly crashed to the ground. He did not move at all any more.
Now Littlefoot's Mother was the one to become furious. She showed the Sharptooth her tail whipping him brutally, causing his chest to bleed. In retaliation, the Sharptooth jumped high and landed on the Longneck's back this time. Unhesitatingly, he sank his long, razor-sharp teeth into the back of the Longneck, ripping an immensely big piece of flesh out of her.
Littlefoot's Mother gasped and howled in pain. Her vision suddenly became black. Instead of devouring more, the Sharptooth let go of her. He rammed his head into her side causing her to fall. He positioned himself above her triumphantly, a smile on his face as he looked into her fearful eyes, into these eyes whose light would lapse fade out very soon...
He didn't want to just kill and eat her, he wanted REVENGE. Instead of destroying her as fast as he could, he wanted to torture her to death. He started to inflict deep cuts and scratches into the right side of the Longneck, prolonging the pain but not killing her straight away. They would increase  the suffering considerably and slow her death. He continued, doing the same to the left side. Littlefoot's Mother withstood the pain as best she could. She didn't want to grant him the last satisfaction. Minutes passed, neither of them did anything. The Sharptooth waited for the death of his enemy and thus the fullfilment of his plans for vengence. He hoped his brother would embrace his efforts to avenge his death.
Littlefoot's Mother felt less and less pain. Her last thoughts were reserved for her family. While she took her last breaths, she thought of her son as much as she could. She would watch over him, would always be there, would always protect him.
With this thought, Littlefoot's Mother died.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyone's weeping? :p There'll be more than enough weeping soon enough...

yeah, not sure when the next one will be up, I want to give you some time seeing that some people have to catch up.
Anyway, next chapter will show the aftermath... to some degree.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 23, 2013, 03:50:10 PM
:cry

Ah, so its finally happened - one of the most famous scenes in the first movie. And you've executed it well!  :DD

It's always good to draw out deaths, especially significant ones. This is all very good, and following her death, will many more first-movie events take place?  :lol
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 23, 2013, 03:57:18 PM
Not sure how many of them will make it into this fanfiction but be sure that there are more to come but also completely new stuff ;)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on August 26, 2013, 11:10:58 AM
:cry
And here I was thinking Littlefoot's mother would get off easy... *sigh*
well, no tears, but definitely a despondent weight has been piled on my shoulders, and a release of a depressive sigh..
Ducky, you evil evil writer... :lol
I love your gift of tying everything in so neatly and without waste, you know exactly what to to. If only I was that organized^^
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 26, 2013, 06:23:19 PM
Thanks :smile

I figured I should help you guys a bit so I made a rough map of the oasis that is the setting of chapter 9 and quite a lot to come ;) There'll be more
(http://i1357.photobucket.com/albums/q759/DrArnulf4eva/images%20for%20my%20fanfiction/img708_zps66a02083.jpg)
I admit I played around with the editing tools of photobucket again :angel so at least everyone can read and see everything clearly and sharply :yes

chp 10 should be up on one of the next days :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 27, 2013, 06:55:11 PM
Chapter 10: The threat isn't over

The Fastbiters who had kept the Longnecks and Mr. Clubtail at bay suddenly let go of the leafeaters and those, who were still able to, ran to the Sharptooth calling them.
The battle was over... the leafeaters had lost!  Utterly decimated, the surviving dinosaurs retreated, away from the corpses of their friends and relatives, away from all the blood that some of them still shed from numerous injuries.
One of them was Grandma Longneck. Although she had to stand and had suffered many severe cuts and deep bites, fortunately the oozing slowly petered out. Nonetheless, she collapsed, her view became blurred.
Grandpa, who had also suffered numerous injuries - including many bruises due to his crashlanding on the Fastbiters which killed all of them without an exception, worryingly glanced at his love. Grandpa then looked to the carnivores who had meanwhile formed a circle around a big body that lay on the ground, motionless. He instantly knew whom this body belonged to. Tears built up in his eyes because this body belonged to his very own flesh and blood... his daughter...
Grandma must have had twigged that her daughter had passed because she too shed large Longneck-tears.

The little Flyer crawled dazily off his father's back. He eyed the horrendous puddle of blood on the ground and instantly knew that the eyes of his father would remain closed forever. His head hanging, the little Flyer, who was the only one of his siblings not yet able to fly, scurried away. Tears flew down his beak. He tried to find his siblings but he walked the wrong way...
 
"DUCKY!!! Ducky, where are you little one?" the mother of the missing Swimmer girl called out as loud as she could. "Where are you!?" she whined. Ducky she especially loved because she was so vivacious and smart, and her 'yep, yep, yep' and her 'no, no, no' made her special. "Ducky, come here! It's dangerous out there!" she continued to call. No answer again. She began to search for her daughter, sighing...

Ducky, happy and light-hearted, jumped after the butterfly. She didn't realize that she was getting dangerously close to the battlefield.
A Fastbiter saw the little Swimmer creeping up...

The Mommy Flyer and Pterano flew to the cave they slept in last night. There, they would pick up the little ones later. They landed so that Littlefoot and the Threehorn girl could dismount. Both were
totally exhausted; shocked from the Sharptooth attack.
The Threehorn girl quietly wept for her two sisters and for her mother who were killed by the beasts.
"We'll be back soon!" Pterano affirmed. The two flew back to the other adults. They chatted on the way: "Where is Petrie by the way? I thought that his father led him and the others in the cave?!?" Petrie's Mother began to fret as well, "I hope they're alright! We ought to hurry!"
"Agreed! Let's fly faster!" Pterano suggested.

Grandpa lay down next to his mate, downhearted. "Are you awake?" he asked quietly.
"Yes!" she replied, her voice weak.
"How are you? Your injuries sure look nasty!" He was worried that Grandma may not recover from her injuries - she was quite elderly after all -.
"It.... hurts!" she replied in pain, "I'm not sure if I will ever get on my feet again..."
"I'm confident that youëll make it, dear!" Grandpa said trying to cheer her up although he doubted that himself.  "Can I be of help? Somehow?"
"Yes! I'm thirsty!" Grandma answered. "I'm not sure though if I can make it to the watering hole.."
"Of course you'll make it!" Grandpa shouted sanguinely. He tried to heave his mate onto her weary feet and succeeded.
"Just lean on me. Slowly now… put one foot in front of the other!" he instructed. She did as Grandpa told her.
That way the Longnecks made their way to the watering hole where they rested at night, step by step. Once there, Grandma carefully let herself fall, supported by her mate. The two drank until their stomachs were full.
Grandma soon fell asleep while Grandpa watchfully protected her. After all, the beasts were still around having their lunch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next one will be... scary for two certain cute dinosaurs :(
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on August 29, 2013, 10:28:47 AM
Quote
The next one will be... scary for two certain cute dinosaurs

I can imagine!  :o

Nicely written, I like how this is all coming together with the characters getting separated from their families. And I get the feeling these fastbiters aren't going to leave any of them alone...
And so they've lost...where now??
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 29, 2013, 03:02:43 PM
Quote
I can imagine! ohmy.gif
Better don't :P: it could be... scary  :lol:

Quote
Nicely written, I like how this is all coming together with the characters getting separated from their families. And I get the feeling these fastbiters aren't going to leave any of them alone...
And so they've lost...where now??
Thank you! Yeah, I like it, too, how I managed to write it to be honest. From now on the story will be much more interesting and many chapters will be about the main characters and... nope, no more :DD
Where now? A question even I haven't completely an answer for (I wouldn't tell you, anyway  :angel ). Read and you'll see I just say  :lol:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on September 01, 2013, 04:52:48 PM
Chapter 11: Within the mouth of a Fastbiter

Petrie heard somebody giggle. "How can one be happy in such sad times!" he wondered. Depressed, he followed the voice...

Ducky was still jumping after the butterfly when suddenly a shadow appeared. She looked up at the sky  to see the ugly face of a Fastbiter who was slavering and  letting out a loud roar. She uttered a shrilling cry which could be heard over the whole region and ran away barely escaping the sharp teeth of the Fastbiter. He uttered an enraged roar and followed his dessert...

Petrie's Mother and Pterano just had arrived at the tree in which the Flyer kids hid when they heard a shrilled cry.
"That must be one of the kids!" Petrie's Mother thought before shouting, "I'll check this, you stay with the little ones Pterano!"
"Sure! Be careful sis!" he replied. Petrie's Mother flew off in the direction of the cry and soon heard a terrible roar... "Not again!" she thought and began to hurry even more.

Petrie heard the cry and the roar as well. He looked out in the direction which the noises came from. He saw a Fastbiter not far away from his position who looked like it was chasing something - likely the kid that had laughed a few moments ago. Then he heard the cry again, this time remarkably closer. Now, he could see who the Fastbiter was chasing. A little Swimmer girl desperately flew from the beast, and it ran right at him...
Petrie saw the Fastbiters planning to jump...
"LOOK OUT!" he tried to warn the little Swimmer...

Ducky heard somebody calling turning back. What she saw made her blood freeze. The Fastbiter was just about to plung onto her. Desperately, she tried to change her path...

Petrie couldn't watch it but he couldn't run away either. Quick as lightning, the girl turned around and started running in the opposite direction. The Fastbiter crashed to the ground heavily, sliding quite a distance further. Now Petrie also began to run, following the Swimmer...

Together they ran for their lives, the Fastbiter coming closer and closer.
"FAAAASTEEEER!!!" the little Swimmer Girl weeped in fear.

Petrie's Mother had found a heavy stone as she saw her son and a Swimmer child being chased by a Fastbiter. She tried with all her might to approach the beast...

The Fastbiter had caught up with Ducky and Petrie. He stooped and opened his mouth, snapping at the two little children. He caught them and closed his mouth. Yet, just at that moment, something hit him on the head. Petrie's Mother had hit the target though she was too late, he caught both of them. The Fastbiter tripped, fell and collapsed, blood oozing out of a gaping wound at the back of his head.
Disappointed, the Flyer landed next to the beast, tears rolling down her cheeks for the lost children. Suddenly, she heard a weak croak come out of the mouth of the Fastbiter. Snapping off a branch from a tree, she levered up the mouth of the beast. The two children instantly jumped out of it both seemingly unhurt.

Petrie immediately jumped to his mother, hugging her. He weeped bitterly, still shaken.  
Ducky faired no difference, her little heart beating hectically and her breathing heavy and panicked.
"Me thought me done for!" Petrie sobbed.
"It's alright my little one!" his mother comforted him.
"Are you okay?" she asked the little Swimmer. Ducky started to cry.
Petrie walked to her, " Hey! We did it! Everything be alright!" He helped the Swimmer get on her feet, she stopped crying but said nothing.
"You kids need to be brought to safety out of reach of the Sharpteeth until the grown-ups have recovered and are able to travel again!" Petrie's Mother explained.
"Safety? Where?" Petrie questioned.
"There is a cave nearby, the one we slept in recently, and there is some food and water. You’ll be completely safe in there. Iëll fly you to the cave and I will bring your siblings there as well. You first though!" She laid down so that the two could climb on her back. Ducky was still unsteady on her feet. Then she rose into the sky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The meeting of the Gang will be soon, guys!

The next one's gonna be... weepy.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on September 01, 2013, 05:31:49 PM
NO GUYS! DON'T GET EATEN! :o

I see where Petrie's coming from. Ducky, why are so cheerful in a time of untimely death and destruction? Well, luckily Petrie's mother was there to get them out of trouble when it came.

Oh, so the gang's meeting will be soon, huh? Can't wait to see how that goes! :DD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on September 02, 2013, 05:29:53 AM
Oooh, meeting soon are they???  :lol I too look forward to it...
But then again, there's that weepy factor...

I have to admit that was an intense chase. Ducky and Petrie were lucky to get out of that one...an interesting place to meet as well!  :lol

I just hope this safe place really is safe...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on September 02, 2013, 02:06:10 PM
"Hello, are you also on the sharptooth dating network?" :lol
I'd blame Toby for that above post XDD

Ooh I can just feel everything coming together so nicely! And I love how you've given Pterano a bigger role, how he's actually helping out :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on September 04, 2013, 12:44:09 PM
:lol

I figured Pterano would add something to my story so I decided to give him a little side-plot :p

Nice place to meet, indeed! :lol:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on September 07, 2013, 11:53:49 AM
Chapter 12: Comfort Ducky!

Littlefoot walked over to the fresh, cool water and drank from it. Cera, however, cried quietly for her deceased family members; feeling neither her hunger nor her thirst.
"Don't you wanna drink some too?" he asked politely. Cera just turned around showing him her back.
Disappointed, the little Longneck sat down on the ledge and looked out at the view of the surroundings. The place looked like the Great Valley. Everything was green, there was plenty of water and food and it was pleasantly warm. The only problem was that Sharpteeth were also able to enter the area. Littlefoot sighed. He was worried about his Grandma. After all she was severely injured...
Now the little one became startled. And where was his mother? He could see his grandparents in the distance, but his mother was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, he saw something else that instantly enhanced his mood.
The Flyer, who had carried him to this place earlier, was flying towards him.
"Hopefully she'll say that everything is alright," Littlefoot thought.
As the Flyer approached, Littlefoot also saw that she was carrying two more kids on her back.
"Maybe they'll be more talkative than the Threehorn!" he thought. The two seemed to be completely distraught. The Flyer was disheveled; his whole body shaking nervously. The swimmer girl had tears in her eyes. She was totally pale-faced and her breathing was fitful. She didn’t seem all there, her mind wasn't really around..
"Well, you two," Petrie's Mother said with a calming voice. "We've arrived." She landed on the ledge. Petrie and Ducky climbed off her and lay down, clearly exhausted.

"What happened?" Littlefoot questioned. Meanwhile Cera withdrew deeper into the cave.
"They had almost been devoured by a Fastbiter!" Petrie's Mother told him. "The beast already had them in its mouth as I threw a boulder on its head saving them from certain death."
"Geez!" Littlefoot exclaimed looking worried. "What about my family? What are they doing? Are they alright?"
"I don't know, little Longneck, but I gonna try and find out," she promised. "I don't have a clue about what happened to my mate either.  Terrible thing..."
"Okay, thank you," Littlefoot thanked her but couldn’t help but feel a little saddened.
"You get me siblings here now?" Petrie croaked.
"Yes! As well as the little Swimmers. I'll be right back and try to get some news about your families."
She flew back to pick up the other kids.

After a short while, the Swimmer Girl started crying again. Littlefoot took pity on her. She had clearly been traumatised by her ordeal so he slowly walked over to the little girl.
"Hey! What's wrong? You're safe here," he said to her gently. Ducky, for the moment, didn't react. Her mind had started playing over the horrific event again.
Littlefoot considered how to calm her down. His family used to nuzzle him when he had been upset or weeping. 'Perhaps it'll work,' he thought. It was definitely worth a try - there was nothing else to do after all.
"It's alright! I'm here!" he whispered softly, nuzzling her. After a few minutes, Petrie joined them.
"What your name?" he stuttered.
"Me? My name's Littlefoot. What's yours?"
"My name Petrie."
"What happened to you?"
"Dad fought a Sharptooth! Sharptooth finish him off! Then Petrie search for me family! Then Petrie hear laughter! Me go to laughter but then me hear Sh-sh-sharpt-t-tooth! Me and little Swimmer Girl run away! Then Sharptooth eat us but Mama saved us!"
Littlefoot was stunned. "Geez! You were lucky! That must've been horrible!"
"It was!" the Swimmer sobbed.
"Well, you're safe now," Littlefoot said calming them down.
"What your name?" Petrie asked the Swimmer.
After short hesitation, she quietly whispered, "Ducky..."
"You donët have to cry Ducky. We're safe here!" Littlefoot said to her.
"Yeah! No Sharptooth make it up here!" Petrie added.
"I... I was so scared!" she weeped.
"Now everything's right again," Littlefoot said calmly.
"You need hug?" Petrie asked and Ducky nodded.
Littlefoot helped Ducky to get up using his tail and she hugged Petrie tightly.
"Thank you for warning me earlier!" she sobbed quietly.
"Ah! You welcome!" the Flyer croaked.
Ducky slowly calmed down.
After a few minutes, she whispered quietly, "Thank you..." She lovingly hugged both of them again.
Then Littlefoot saw Petrie's Mother returning...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not sure when the next update will be... I hope next weekend or earlier.. depends on my schedule  :rolleyes

Next one will have an awesome Mr. Threehorn moment :lol and some other stuff

EDIT: Fixed some minor mistakes :P:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on September 07, 2013, 12:10:11 PM
Aww, group hug!   :lol:

Its a pity Cera doesn't want to join in...and I get the feeling Petrie's mother returning can only herald news of a certain someone's death... :(

Still, I look forward to the next chapter! Mr Threehorn moment as well? Wow...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on September 17, 2013, 03:40:57 PM
Aw, I want a hug, too! :(

So I guess stubbornness starts early. Nice job keeping everyone in character... uh oh, I really hope the new of the next dinosaur's death isn't who I think it is :o
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on September 24, 2013, 05:03:02 PM
Chapter 13: More Tears

The old Threehorn stormed through the whole oasis letting out his frustration by kicking stones and uprooting trees.Eventually, he came back to the battlefield where two Fastbiters had just eaten his mate. In a fit of rage, he charged at them skewering one with his horns. The Fastbiter collapsed to the ground,he quickly died due to the loss of blood. The other one, however,  was able to dodge in time.
After he recovered from the shock, he roared savagely and tried jumping on the Threehorn. However the great beast caught him as he was sailing through the air and threw him high into the air. The Fastbiter crashedinto a thick, old tree with a terrible thud causing the treestars to rain down.
Dimly, the Fastbiter tried to pick himself up but the Threehorn was already on top of him.
He couldn't defend himself. Cera's father speared the second Fastbiter as well pinning him to the old tree.
Covered in blood he leaned on another tree. His grief was now stronger than his anger so he started crying. Thick Threehorn-tears floated down his cheeks until eventually, his anger took possesion of his mind. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Petrie's Mother flew above the battlefield in order to collect information of the kids' relatives. The area was stained with blood.  Half eaten corpses lay everywhere; some of their allies but some Fastbiters who also paid for their victory with their lives. Most of them either showed severe head wounds by the Longnecks and the Flyers or were stabbed by the Threehorns.
Amused, she spectated the Threehorn's vengeance. "Good!" she spured him on mentally. At least she could tell the Threehorn Girl that her father was alright.
Then she eyed a huge, red nugget of flesh; the head still undamaged. She recognized the mother of the little Longneck whose father went missing after the catastrophy in the Great Valley. He would be very sad, of that she was sure.
A few moments later she also found that what was left of the father of the little Swimmer. The little one would be heartbroken since she was pretty whiny as her mother once told her.
Still, not having heard or seen any life signs of her mate, she flew back. She didn't want to keep the children wait any longer.
Before she brought the rema“ning kids to the cave she had had a little talk with Littlefoot's Grandparents.
"Everything alright?" she asked as she saw Grandma.
"Grandma is quite weak and I'm quite elderly, too!" Grandpa sighed.
"I really hope that she'll recover from that... if not, you'd have to take care of your grandson all alone!"
"Yeah... His mother..." he interrupted bursting into tears.
"I know! I just saw her from above, my heart is broken... And his father seems to have disappeared..."
"Yes, we lost each other during the escape from the ash cloud. He didn't want to accept that it was impossible so he tried to flee while we had waited, keeping our heads low to be safe of the ash  rain. We haven't heard of him since then."
"Poor you. The Threehorn lost his whole family except for one of his daughters. He's just 'hunting'!"
"Yeah, he's always been that way!"
"Anyway, have you seen my mate?"
"I suppose he didn't make it. The big Sharptooth must have caught him, otherwise he would have  returned. He helped my d... " he interrupted again.
"Oh no... th-that's ... horrible!" she whined.
"My condolences!" Grandma whispered just having woken up.
"Same goes to you, my dears. Hold on valiantly! I need to fly some kids to safety until we all have recovered."
"Yeah. See you," Grandpa replied.
She flapped to Pterano.
"He didn't make it," she shouted from the distance. Pterano did the only right thing namely hugging her. "Children..." she called quietly. "Your Daddy has... passed on..."
Instantly, Petrie's siblings began to cry..
"You carry them to the cave as soon as they're able to head there!" she ordered Pterano.
"I'll carry the Swimmer's children."
"Agreed. It's alright my little ones. Uncle Pterano is here..."
Petrie's Mother just bandied for some time with Ducky's Mother. As she eventually told her kids that their father wouldn't ever return, a terrible chorus of crying started. It needed a lot of effort to persuade the little ones to come along.
Finally, when all were aboard, Petrie's Mother flew off carrying the weeping children to the others in the safe cave.

As Ducky heard her siblings, she already assumed what must have happened. Littlefoot and Petrie were visibly tense.
"I've got bad news for you three!" she glumly told them.
"Petrie, your father..." she began to sob, "your father, little one; and your mother, little one!"
Ducky threw herself on the floor starting to cry like a little baby.
Littlefoot shouted, "NO!" in disbelief, again and again. He curled up and started to cry, notably quieter than Ducky.
"Me already know!" Petrie whispered hugging his mother.
"Petrie... I gotta go! I'm very sorry!" she sobbed flying off.
"Your uncle will bring the others later!" she shouted from far away, then she disappeared...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Uh Oh... Poor, poor kids :cry
Anyway, do me a favor by not complaining about the many grammar mistakes :oops Will correct them asa my proofreader has caught up (not 'catched' like I wrote somewhere :bang Musta been daydreaming around instead of writing correctly
 :angel  

I hope the updates will be more frequent again now.

Now that you know this chapter, you'll see that the next one will be way, way sadder   :cry

EDIT: Mistakes should be fixed now :angel
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on September 24, 2013, 05:16:36 PM
:cry  :cry

I understand what you meant fully by sad times! I just wonder, now that the initial shock is over, what the kids will do next? It surely begs the question...will the passings of their folks spur them or not? Hm...I'll be interested to see...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on September 25, 2013, 05:50:27 PM
THERE'S MORE??!! :o
How much sadness do you expect me to take?!
In all seriousness, you do have a gift for graphic and tragic situations - you spin your words with extreme care, and it makes the transition nicely to fit the needs of the story :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on September 26, 2013, 10:27:25 AM
Thank you :D

Everyone loves some tragedy in fics :p I guess?
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 07, 2013, 11:45:44 AM
Surprise! New chapter :lol
*********************************
Chapter 14: Mourning

As Cera heard the chorus of weeping, she became curious. The blubbering of the Swimmer Kids was getting on her nerves so she thought she would calm them down with her very own method...
Petrie shuffled over to a stone, laid down on it and curled his arms around it sobbing.
Ducky was screaming after her mommy, her desperate cries mixed with the wailing even drowned her eleven other siblings.
Littlefoot cried to himself quietly and sobbed repeatingly, "Mother..."
None of them even considered comforting each other...

Half an hour later, most of the Swimmer Kids were still snivelling though they were far quieter than earlier. Cera, unobtrusively, walked closer to the others munching a few leaves without having any appetite.
Ducky was the only one still weeping loudly, Petrie had recovered to a degree and Littlefoot cried in silence. Petrie walked slowly over to Ducky. He felt so sorry for the little Swimmer girl. He watched her for a while, too shy to actually talk to her.
Ducky thumped her little hands and feet on the hard, rocky ground beginning to scream again,"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Littlefoot couldn't listen any longer, he had to do something  to calm her. He slowly went over to the little one and began nuzzling her. Ducky heaved herself up and hugged one of Littlefoot's legs.
After some minutes, Petrie joined him and stroked Ducky who was still blubbering slightly. The heartbroken girl now hugged Petrie who began to weep again, too.

After half an hour, they finally calmed down as well as Ducky's siblings who got progressively quieter.
Cera returned to the others.
"Hey guys!" she called hoping to find some cool friends since her siblings were deceased.
"Hello Threehorn!" Littlefoot responded, "I'm Littlefoot! Who are you?"
"Name's Cera!" she replied.
"Me name Petrie!" Petrie croaked.
"Ducky!" the Swimmer sobbed smeared in tears. She wiped them out of the face but instantly new ones wetted her cheeks again
"Why are we supposed to wait here?!" Cera moaned. "I wanna be with my daddy!!!"
"I want to be with my mommy, too, yep, yep, yep!" Ducky sobbed hugging Petrie again.
"Me wanna, too!" Petrie sighed.
"Mmmhmm!" Littlefoot nodded, agreeing. He thought of his dad again. Where was he? Tears streamed down his cheeks dropping on the ground.He could relate to Ducky, who weeped all the  time now. Dragging himself to Ducky and Petrie he cuddled with them laying down next to them, he started weeping too.

The children’s crestfallen weeping continued throughout the whole day... Ducky cried the whole time, Petrie mostly did the same, although a little quieter and Littlefoot constantly sobbed, "Mother..."
Cera lied some distance away from the three.

In the evening, Petrie's Mother brought the children some treestars but neither of them touched them. Petrie was comforted by his mother, Ducky joined her siblings who tried to get some sleep without their parents but to no avail. The little Swimmers were quite restless which made it even harder for all the other kids to get to sleep themselves. Littlefoot had  curled up into a little hollow, still weeping silently. Cera retreated far into the cave since the Swimmers made so much noise. Besides, she didn't want to get caught weeping in front of the others.

After Petrie's Mother had flown off, Petrie walked to his siblings who had just arrived at the cave with her, his head down. He got up and left the group; the nearby Swimmers were crying too loud for his liking. After a quick look around, he eventually eyed Ducky and starting walking to her. Ducky had curled up with her back to everyone. At first glance, Petrie thought that she was already asleep but then he noticed a little tear roll down her cheek. He again remained standing on the spot not daring to utter a single word. Eventually, he summoned his courage, "Ducky? Petrie can sleep here?" the Flyer questioned shily.
Ducky sluggishly turned to Petrie, "Oh, yes Petrie!" she sobbed, "but not here, please. Let us find a calm spot, yep, yep, yep."
"That good," Petrie confirmed. "Brothers and sisters remind me of what happened too much."
"I know what you mean. I feel the same way too," Ducky confirmed.
Petrie offered Ducky his hands to help her up since the constant weeping had taken all of Ducky’s strength.
"Where you wanna heading?" Petrie asked.
"Perhaps.. to Littlefoot?!" she proposed.
"That good idea but where he is?"
"Hmm, I believe he went that way, yes he did," she said and pointed at one of the two passages.
"Then we go deeper into cave."
Ducky was right. A few moments later they spotted the Longneck.
"Littlefoot? Can we sleep with you?" Ducky questioned quietly.
"Oh yeah, of course! Come in please," he replied, glad that he didn't need to spend the night all alone. Ducky cuddled up with Littlefoot's neck and Petrie laid down next to her.
After a few minutes they fell asleep...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, I admit it's slowly getting too sad hence there shall be action soon :smile
Next chapter will be named 'Nightmares'  :yes What do you guess might happen? :p
I hope you liked the read, I try to upload one more, perhabs two this week because I'll be on holidays for two weeks starting on Saturday :) So no updates for two weeks then  :(
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on October 07, 2013, 01:49:05 PM
Ah, cuddling up together just like in the first film.  :DD

Well, minus Cera and Spike... :rolleyes:

Its very good! Yes, it is rather sad, but you know, its got to be! They'll all lost family members, they have every right to be really sad.  :cry Still, I'm interested in seeing what will happen next...even if they do have nightmares.  :unsure:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: StrutEggStealer on October 07, 2013, 08:02:24 PM
The cuddles.... those cuddles XDD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 08, 2013, 03:03:35 PM
I'm surprised you guys like the cuddling scene so much :lol I wasn't even thinking about the scene in the Original when I wrote this :wow

Anyway, your reviews are much appreciated, it's easing me because I know my work is read :)

Maybe I'll upload another one... tomorrow? Depends on school  :rolleyes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on October 08, 2013, 04:27:15 PM
David, this is getting depressing.

...

WOW, I can so talk! :lol

It's nice that the gang have all met now and have a little cuddle. :DD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 09, 2013, 11:36:25 AM
Well, the gang minus Spike ;)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 09, 2013, 12:07:54 PM
Here we go!
***********************************
Chapter 15: Nightmares

None of the kids were able to sleep much and the adults were the same...
Throughout the night everyone was stirring restlessly. At least one of the Swimmer kids, occasionally joined by one of the Flyer kids, was weeping so they woke each other up again and again.Cera tossed around in her sleeping spot repeatedly, unable to fall asleep. Littlefoot, Petrie and Ducky didn’t sleep too well either. Ducky, in particular, had bad sleepstories all the time; dreams of the Sharptooth that almost had Petrie and her for dinner. They kept replaying over and over again.
Each time one of the kids twitched and jerked out of a bad sleepstory, it woke up several kids too.
Ducky always woke up Petrie and Littlefoot and then began to weep bitterly, occasionally screaming  and crying out for her parents. Fortunately, she was so tired that she fell asleep quite quickly again.
Yet, when the night was close to its end, she had a different sleepstory. She dreamed of her mother being feasted on right before her eyes. This time her rolling and her whining woke them all up.
Littlefoot and Petrie exchanged clueless glances. The little Flyer tried to stroke the little girl but failedsince Ducky was way too restless. Her whining increased in volume and she started to kick around.
Cera heard Ducky.  Fed up listening to the never-ending blaring, she stood up and walked to the source of the noice to make them shut up...
All of a sudden, Ducky uttered a disturbed screech continuing as she woke up.
Finally, after a few terrible seconds, she realised that she was safe in the cave so her cries became weaker. Still in shock, she remained lying on the ground, breathing heavily. Seeing just how terrified the little Swimmer was, Petrie wrapped his arm around her shoulders delicately. Ducky latched onto the embrace like a frightened newborn and quivered in his grasp. Petrie was alarmed as he felt Ducky heart thumping hard and fast against his own chest as she held onto him.
Petrie and Littlefoot needed some time to recover from the fright themselves. Littlefoot glanced at little Ducky, worried. She almost seemed unconscious.
"Ducky? You alright?" Petrie asked timidly, shaking on her shoulder softly.
"Ducky!!!" Littlefoot shouted remarkably louder and pushed her a bit harder but the Swimmer remained motionless.
"Me worried!" the Flyer told Littlefoot, he seemed to like Ducky.
"Me too!" Littlefoot confirmed. "Do you see how thin she is, Petrie?"
"Yeah! Petrie see it very good!" he answered despite being thin himself. "Petrie think she not ate for long time."
"Just like us," Littlefoot sighed. Even he had never experienced hunger this strong before in his life. "She needs something to eat and fast."
"Me Mommy had brought many treestars and other yummy stuff," Petrie announced quickly.
"That's gr..... " Littlefoot broke off as an extremely loud bellow shook the cave.
"SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!" Cera shouted with all her might. The shout was so loud, it even made the weeping Swimmer and Flyer kids fall silent. It didn’t last long however since now everyone was wide awake and began crying even harder with fear. Cera's bellowing even woke up Ducky though she was still in a fantasy world of her own so she hadn't realised anything that had happened around her. Even Littlefoot and Petrie hadnët realised she had woken up...
"...great..." Littlefoot eventually finished his sentence.
"What that?" Petrie questioned shakily.
"That was Cera..." the Longneck replied. Petrie was just about to comment when an unexpected event took its course...
   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, I'm so mean, leavin' ya on a nasty cliffhanger :smile

Any guesses as for what happens next?

1800 posts  :blink:

EDIT: Minor changes of wording and mistakes, same goes to chp 16 & 17  :angel
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on October 11, 2013, 01:48:27 PM
Unexpected event?  :blink: Hm...I hope they'll be alright...maybe its Spike?  :o  :unsure:  :lol:

Nice chapter, you sure know how to add a bit of gasping to your audience in the shape of the nightmares. And Cera...hm, well, she's speaking her mind at least!  :wow  :lol
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on October 14, 2013, 07:35:20 PM
Hey, cool story so far.  Sad, but well-written :yes.

Seeing Ducky is in the middle of a night terror, I think I have an idea what'll happen next, since I've had the pleasure of having those before :confused.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 15, 2013, 04:27:27 PM
Toby: Spike?! Nah :D Yeah, that's Cera how we like her, MOODY :DD

CT: I'm glad that you like my story :) Tell me if your idea is right, please? Next chapter will be uploaded when I'm back to Germany so likely on Oct 26th :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on October 15, 2013, 05:13:43 PM
Well, I know from experience you should not wake somebody up if they are having a night terror, because they're often disoriented and lack a sense of reality until they fully wake up.  I've only had a few night terrors in my life, but the times somebody woke me up, I understand I was violent until I "snapped out of it".  The last night terror I've ever had was almost two years ago.  This kind of thing runs in my family, but ever since I had a conversation with a spiritual leader a year ago, I haven't hardly had any nightmares which is awesome :smile.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 27, 2013, 01:07:08 PM
Alright here's the promised chapter, enjoooooy :lol:

Chapter 16: Another Catastrophy

Suddenly, the ground began to shake.
"EARTHSHAKE!!!" the kids cried in a panic. Despite the fact that it wasn't as strong as the earthshake that hit when the Great Valley shuddered, stones fell down from the ceiling nonetheless. Cera, Littlefoot, who grabbed Ducky, and Petrie darted deeper into thecave while the Swimmers stepped back to the edge of the ledge. The Flyers took to the air where it was safest for them.
   
Those  grown-ups, who weren't awake already,  woke up trying to keep a safe distance from the trees that could fall on them. Yet there was another threat especially dangerous for the Threehorn...

The kids ran as fast as they could. Light became rarer in the cave but the rain of little stones wouldn't  diminish.
"What's that growling?!" Cera shouted.
"Sounds  like the one in the Great Valley. Oh no, no, nooooo!" Ducky croaked but only Littlefoot, who carried her, could understand her. The Swimmer had sobered up to the real world due to the heavy rumbling.
"Me no understand what Ducky saying," Petrie called.
"Yeah. What did she say Littlefoot?" Cera asked.
"She said that it sounds the same as the Great Valley!" Littlefoot responded sounding worried.
"Ducky right!" Petrie croaked.
"Hey, that means that... OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCH!!!" Cera howled in pain as a sharp Stonetooth (stalaktite) broke off the ceiling and pierced her back...

Just a few steps away from the old Threehorn, a rift opened, spitting out reddish glowing fire into the air. He roared in fear and ran off bearly escaping being  licked by the flames.
   
Grandpa and Grandma had chosen their resting spots wisely and did not lie close to any big trees. Still, Grandpa realised that the ground started getting warm despite it being night.
"Ohh no... Not again!" he said desperately. "Can you walk dear?" he asked Grandma. "We need to escape from this place quickly!"
"I'm not sure," she replied weakly.
"Please try! The ground is getting warm. I think a fire pit or a whole smoking mountain is going to erupt!" Grandpa said anxiously as he supported Grandma. She got to her feet with some difficulty. Slowly and carefully they retreated from the firepit that was growing throughout the whole region. All the while, huge tongues of fire leapt into the air from miles away.

Ducky's Mother and the other Great Valley residents, plus a few others who weren't close to the battlefield at the time of the attack, flew back to the Big Water since the gap cut them from the land side. They escorted the two Longnecks but they moved pretty slow in comparison. A few moments later, the old Threehorn caught up with them . Aside from a few burns, he was relatively unhurt.
"Wonderful! 'Nother lush and green place that falls victim to the fire from the ground!" he called.
"These things are indeed curious!" Mr. Clubtail piped up.
"At least we aren't being threated by a cloud of ash this time!" Ducky's Mother said somewhat relieved.
"Instead we're being threated by a huge fire. Possibly by a river of fire too!" Cera's father retorted grimly. There was indeed a huge fire behind them. The rift seemed to widen up as the wall of fire was being thrown out of it becoming wider and higher.
"Where are the Flyers?!" he bellowed.
"Maybe they're just picking up our children," Grandpa considered.
"Oh no! Our kids..." Ducky's Mother cried.
"I'm confident that they're safe for the time being," Grandma said trying to calm their worries.
"Yes, the cave is far enough from the fire pit!" Grandpa added.
"All fine and dandy Longneck, but the cave could have caved in due to the earthshake!" theThreehorn retorted.
"Let's hope for the best!" Grandma pleated since she saw another dispute between the hagglish Threehorn and her mate coming.
The Threehorn didn't return anything on that...

Since the Flyers felt responsible for the herds' children and specially since their own children were at risk, they flew - as the others had hoped and expected them to do - to the cave to rescue the little ones. Pterano and Petrie's Mother saw their little ones flapping around from a distance outside of the cave entrance. Glancing into the cave, they could see a green muddle of bodies milling around. The Swimmer kids were safe, too. However, there was no sign of the young Threehorn and Longneck. They quickly realised that Petrie and one of the Swimmers were missing as well.
"They ran that way!" one Swimmer told them as it saw the panicked glances of the two Flyers pointing to the path where Littlefoot, Petrie, Cera and Ducky had fled. It was partually caved in and almost impassible. With every tremor, more of the ceiling collapsed.
"We can't go after them," Petrie's Mother said hectically as Pterano attempted to go deeper into the cave.
"Arrgh, youëre right, I suppose!" he sighed contritely.
"We need to get the children out of here. Each of us will carry one half of the little Swimmers, agreed?"
Pterano nodded. The little ones climbed on their backs, the Flyer kids accompanied their relatives.
Then, a few moments after they had risen into the air, a huge earthshake struck the region...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poor Cera... what are your thoughts on this? What do you think will be the results of this (not yet finished) earthshake? :)

Next one will be interesting... and fairly long :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on October 28, 2013, 07:37:59 AM
And yet it is only in a tragedy when the best of some people can be brought out.  :p Good chapter, I guess I still need to continue proof-reading, but it doesn't change how good this is. I really like how you've explored the reactions of plenty of characters here, its good to see.  :DD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 28, 2013, 04:15:35 PM
Thanks for the flowers, sir Toby :lol:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 29, 2013, 04:50:02 PM
Well, meet a new OC of mine :lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 17: The Stranger/Trapped in the Cave

A lot of blood oozed out of the wound. The sharp rock had torn deep into Cera's back. Littlefoot  pulled it out of the wound causing Cera to utter a yelp. Her legs became weak and she sunk to the ground.
"Cera! You no must give up!" Petrie squawked.
"You can make it, yep, yep, yep!" Ducky confirmed.Cera tried to get to her feet again, tortured by the pain. Then, the earthshake suddenly hit them witheven more force...

The Flyers made it to the others. Everyone pulled themselves through the earthshake; even Grandma managed to keep her foothold. Gathering at the beach, the herd listened to what the Flyers had to announce.
"Four children are missing!" Petrie's Mother shouted from a distance.
"Where's Cera?!"the old Threehorn threatened.
"Each of them is a different kind!" Pterano spoke up. "They ran into the cave while the other children were waiting for us on the ledge of this cave where they were safe!"
"So why didn't ya follow them?!" the Threehorn thundered.
"First, because all of them together would have been too heavy! Second, because the path they chose to flee has collapsed for the most part!" Pterano replied cooly. "The path will probably be impassable after that heavy earthshake!"
"Oh no..." Ducky's Mother whined.
"On top of that, a huge rift has opened and is throwing up lots of fire. It's too dangerous to head to the cave for now," Petrie's Mother added.
"I consider it best if we wait until the situation passes and calms down," Grandpa proposed.
Just then, a Bignose stepped into the circle that the grown-ups had formed.
"You'll have to wait a fair while until the fire from out of the earth stops."
Immediately, agitation and anxiety erupted among the dinosaurs.
"Oh yeah!?!" the Threehorn ranted. "Who are ya and what gives you the right to disturb us with your talltales!?!"
"Stay calm, Threehorn. My intention is NOT to disturb you or to 'lie' to you as you insinuate. It's quite the contrary actually. I want to warn you."
"As if we haven't already endured enough catastrophies and threats," someone hissed behind their backs.
"Warn us from what? 'Nother pack of starving Fastbiters?" Cera's Father questioned, bored. Grandpaand Grandma exchanged meaningful glimpses.
"Once the land that I called home since I hatched was a lush and green place," he spoke."Yet everything began to change... Earthshakes piled up as well as many other things, strange andimpossible to explain... watering holes dried up, the ground became cracked. Whole region seemedto raise and sink plus the ground was quite warm."
"It has been the same with our homeland," Grandpa exclaimed.
"I assumed that. Anyway, one day a terrible earthshake happened. I was some distance away fromit at that time, luckily, so I only came up with a fright. I was told that countless dinosaurs had died because of it so I moved to where the catastrophy was said to be worst. I was shocked by the sight."
"He's an advanced story-teller," Grandma whispered into Grandpa’s ear. Grandpa had been a story-teller himself in his younger years; telling stories to other dinosaurs whilst roaming the open world.
"Where there was once land, was now water. A wide, water-filled rift had appeared out of nowhere, it looked like a scar in the landscape."
"Pah! He lived close to the Big Water for sure!" the Threehorn rumbled.
"By no means, my friend. The Big Water was a good few days' walk away."
"Humpff! He's lying, anyway!" he snorted.
"Ahem... Iëll continue... Shortly after the earthshake, fire mountains and fire pits appeared everywhere, completely destroying the land. I searched desperately for a way out of this cursed regionyet Ihad to notice that the rift had cut a big part of the region."
"What did you do?" Mr. Clubtail asked, interested.
"I swam. Nearly got eaten by a Swimming Sharptooth though!"
"Was did you do next?" Ducky's Mother questioned, excited.
"Well, I travelled through the land hoping to meet someone able to explain what had happened. Many Cold Times had passed until I finally encountered two Rainbowfaces knowing the answers to my qustions. Though they weren't willing to tell them at first. Eventually..."
"Get to the point!" the Threehorn bellowed. "We have better things to do than to listen to your pathetic story!"
"Oh really?" the Bignose asked challanging. "Examples?"
"We... uuhm..." the Threehorn stuttered, clearly cornered. "We... well.. uhm... we need to find our kids!"
"Alright... so the Rainbowfaces had told me that these events were only the beginning of a hugecatastrophy that will change our world for good. The land will be cut up, the parts escaping from each other.New Big Water will grow!"
"And what happens when they arrive at the end of the world, clever dig?!?" the Threehorn retorted inanger.
"Our world has no edge, it has no end. We live on a globe. Didn't you all know that?"
"YOU WANNA TAKE THE PISS OUT OF ME?!? Cera's Father thundered. "Stop disturbing us with yourcrazy stories and GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!"
"I'm telling the truth!" the Bignose protested.
"I have to admit that this is hard to swallow," Grandpa said sounding really apologetic.
"Our world is a huge land surrounded by lots of water! Period!" the Threehorn roared.
"That's a misconception! Our world is a globe! I can show you!"
"Our world... a globe... pah!!!" the Threehorn mumbled to himself though everyone heard what he's just said. "Right! Prove it, smart aleck!"
"Don't be so stubborn Threehorn!" Grandpa reminded him.
"He's just trying to offer help but you're being so unfriendly!" Grandma criticised.
"Longnecks..." he grumbled stomping away from them.
"Well, just ignore him. We've been through a lot and our kids might be in danger. He's always like that if something's wrong with his family but once you break his hard shell he'll show his soft side,"Grandpa explained.
"We'll see," the Bignose sighed.
"Anyway, you wanted to prove that you're right!" Grandma reminded him.
"Of course. Follow me to the Big Water."
The dinosaurs walked to the beach, so did the Threehorn.
"If you were right Threehorn, then you could see things that are very very far away - if the air isn't foggy, that is. However, you can't see very far even though the air is very clear today with no doubt. One can see that the water surface is bent," the stranger explained blow-by-blow.
"Yes, I see it very clearly," Grandpa exclaimed. Though surprised, he had some large doubts about the stranger which he, other than the mulish Threehorn, didn't say loud.
The others seemed to be skeptical at first but then they too realised the bending of the water surface. As the very last dinosaur, after he had examined everything a few times, even Cera's Father agreed: "Well, I believe I owe you a big apology," he said shamefully.
"It's alright, you're not the first dinosaur to considered me a swindler."
"May I ask what your name is stranger?" Grandma asked. "I suppose youëll stay with us now?"
"The name's Oscar! There's safety in numbers therefore I will join your herd for the time being. I suppose your herd has been together for quite some time now?"
"Some of us have lived together for many years now," Petrie's Mother explained.
"Yeah, and others, like you, are gathered here to escape the fire. We'll all be a herd from this moment on. We will help each other where ever possible and we will discuss important things together," Grandpa spoke strongly.

The four young dinosaurs could swear that the whole cave jumped up and down... They were thrown back and forth so violently that Cera blacked out.
Then, suddenly, the ceiling behind them crashed down completely. Littlefoot had almost been hit on the head by a big boulder he could barely dodge.
"We have to get out of here!" Littlefoot cried to his friends after he had gotten to his feet again.
"Yeah, but how we get outta here?" Petrie asked.
"Why we climb up the many rocks, silly!" Ducky explained. She seemed to have completely recovered from her earlier nightmare.
"Me wonder Cera gonna make it?" Petrie squawked worryingly. Cera lay on the ground, her eyes closed and her wound bleeding.
"Cera! Cera! Please get up! We need to get out of here before the cave collapses completely!" Littlefootshouted but Cera didn't react.
"Cera, we must go now, yes we must!" Ducky said shaking Cera's head.
"What we do now?" Petrie questioned.
"Well, we can't leave her behind!" Littlefoot exclaimed. Ducky and Petrie nodded eagerly.
"We do not leave anyone behind, nope, nope, nope!" Ducky chirped.
"Petrie no leave anyone behind neither!" the Flyer croaked.
"But we can't carry her!" Littlefoot sighed.
"Petrie have idea!" Petrie exclaimed. He climbed on Cera's horn and lifted her right eyelid.
"Cera, now no snoozing time!" he squawked with all his might.Cera jerked up sinking to the ground again instantly due to her pain.
"That was a good idea, Petrie!" Ducky lauded.
"You really think so?" Cera asked ironically. She had a terrible pain though she tried to downplay it. Her pride didn't allow her to show weakness.
"Cera, we need to get out of here! The caveës collapsing!" Littlefoot shouted.
"Yes, we must get out, we must, we must!" Ducky gabbled.
"If we donët, we be squished!" Petrie squeaked acting as if he gets squished.
"Hehehehe! You are funny Petrie!" Ducky chuckled.
"Yeah, veeery amusing!" Cera grunted sarcastically.
"Do you think that you can make it up there?" Littlefoot asked pointing at the upward 'stairway' built
when the cave had partly collapsed.
"Sure! That's a stupid question!"Cera snorted showing off. She tried to get up which was trickier thanshe thought. Eventually, she succeeded, her wound still bleeding a little.
"You sure you can make it?" Petrie asked fretfully since Cera was pretty shaky on her legs.
"S-sure!" she grunted laboriously. Cera suddenly felt very dizzy. Everything was moving in circles and her vision became blurry. Her legs began to shake.
"I do not think that she can make it, ohh no, no, no," Ducky muttered quietly.
"She looks like she’s gonna pass out again," Littlefoot guessed.Ducky shrugged her shoulders.
Finally, Cera collapsed again. This time nobody dared attempting to wake her...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gonna upload twice a week, need to catch up with myself (about to write chp 40 and only uploaded till 17 :bang)
Anyway, what do you think? Specially about Oscar :smile

Right, the next one will be roughly as long as 17 and there will be a good amount of dialogue (generally, the story is going to become more dialogue-based now), Threehorn's starting a fight again and the gang is trying to find a solution to their unfortunate situation...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on October 30, 2013, 12:50:13 AM
Poor Cera :cry.  I'm all too familiar with the effects of excessive blood loss.  I hope somebody can help her and the others.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: somerandomfangirl on October 30, 2013, 07:12:30 PM
Oscar seems like an interesting and knowledgable character. Whoa, Threehorn either needs to learn to calm down or have some anger management classes. Geez. :o

Poor gang. 'Specially Cera. I hope that injury of hers will be okay in the future. :(

Um, not sure if this is proof-read yet (for those who don't know, I don't proof-read this fanfic anymore), but I have spotted quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes. Some of them I've seen in just your general writing.

First, cutted isn't a word. The past participle of cut is, er, cut. Doesn't change. Irregular verbs are confusing, so I don't blame you for not knowing about that. :)

Secondly, dashes don't go next to full stops. If you're going to use a subordinate clause with two dashes, it'll have to go in the middle of a sentence. If it's at the end, just use one dash to start and end it with the full stop. The two don't go together. Just something to take into account.

Final thing I'll dwell on for now. I think you may the wrong definition of ironic. My understanding of the word ironic is to describe certain events, such as a sudden traffic jam when you're already late for something important, or something failing when it was so well planned. The other definition of ironic is humorously sarcastic or mocking, and I don't think that's what Cera's trying to get across here... I think just sarcastically/with sarcasm would be better to use. :D

That's all I'll nit-pick on for now. I just want to help you improve on you English writing. It was a very interesting read, David. Keep it up!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 31, 2013, 04:17:39 PM
Thank you a lot, Molly :lol: I'll take your advice into account next time.

Oscar IS a pretty interesting character, trust me :yes You'll see what will happen to Cera in the next few chapters.

I'll probably upload the next chapter at the weekend :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on November 02, 2013, 07:21:46 PM
Chapter 18: Who's the leader?/How to help Cera!

Everyone agreed one that. The Great Valley residents that had survived and some other residents of the oasis being in flames and flooded by lava as well as visitors like Oscar were from now on a herd.
The question was: Who'd be the leader?
"Well, so we're a temporary herd now but who'll lead us?" Oscar questioned.
"Well..." Pterano considered loudly.
"I'm gonna lead this herd!!!" Cera's Father proclaimed. "I'm the toughest dinosaur around!" Confident of victory, he looked into the gathered dinosaurs.
"I stated that we will deliberate things, no matter of the situation!"Grandpa reminded him. "We don't need a leader for this! Anyhow, you may fend off any Sharpteeth that dare to attack us alongside me! I don't think anybody will disagree on that we two are the strongest members!"
"Nope! I'm stronger than you, Longneck!" the Threehorn replied.
"This is of no significance, my friend!" Grandpa shed light upon the Threehorn yet he ranted furtherly.
"Oh yes! It quite is!"
"Now don't start out another argument!" Grandma sighed desperately. The Threehorn gradually drove her nuts.
"Yes, we need to find my little Ducky, remember!" Ducky's Mother confirmed.
"As well as the little Flyer, my nephew and your daughter, Threehorn!" Grandpa added.
Cera's Father grunted something along the lines of 'agreed'.
"Works!" Grandma muttered.
 "Why, if you consider yourself so much better than me, don't you make a suggestion!" he provoked Grandpa who, in contrary to everyone, didn't roll his eyes throwing unappreciative glares at the singularly hot-headed Threehorn but stayed cool.
"We will have to find an entry into that cave to pick our children out of it!"
"But how do you imagine this to work?" Oscar questioned. "I mean, even, if I'm proven wrong that the fire outta the ground won't stop in the near future, we plainly can't climb up the ledge!"
"Yeah, good point though I thought of another, better possibility!" Grandpa replied.
"Shall I move to that cave and look out for potentual entries?" Pterano offered.
"Yeah! Make yourself useful!" Cera's Father shouted in an unfriendly way.
"That's the idea, Pterano! We will wait until you return!" Grandpa spoke up.
"Okay!" Pterano flew off.
The dinosaurs disperged into the nearby region. Littlefoot's Grandparents, Ducky's and Petrie's Mothers and Oscar gathered at the Big Water. The water and the chilly wind were exceedingly refreshing for the exhausted dinosaurs.
"How do you guys actually plan to get into the cave? I doubt that the paths can be passed!" Oscar asked.
"The smaller members of our herd will search through the cave, if Pterano spots another entry, that is!" Grandpa answered.
"I hope, that nothing bad occured to my Ducky!" Ducky's Mother sobbed hysterically.
"Calm down, my dear!" Grandma supported her. "They're probably doing well!"
"Yep! Be confident, my brother is going to find a way into this cave!" Petrie's Mother affirmed.
"Our children are not stupid after all!" Grandpa stated encuragingly. "They probably know what to do!"
"May I ask how old your children are?" Oscar questioned.
"They had hatched when the last Cold Time was almost over!" Grandma responded.
"Fairly young, if you ask me!" he hummed.
"That's right! Though they're quite smart considering their age! You should have heard my Littlefoot when the catastrophy at our former home was in its offing! He had realized that we adults were constantly worried. Hence, he had tried to convince us that the numerous earthshakes are funny!"
Everyone had to smirk due to Grandpa's short story.
"Now, that indeed shows that your children are mentally fit!" Oscar admitted.
"Might be the wealth of food that our home had offered us!" Petrie's Mother presumed.
"And the care and love of us parents of course!" Ducky's Mother added enthusingly.
"You forgot the most important point!" Grandma grinned. "They could play and grow up in harmony there!"
"How come? Ain't there any Sharpteeth or Eggnappers?" Oscar wondered.
"Lots of them!" Ducky's Mother shouted.
"Our valley was save from any Sharpteeth due to the huge wall that surrounded it!" Petrie's Mother responded. "And Eggstealers usually didn't dare to get close to our nests since a lot of dinosaurs used to live on a fairly little amount of space so the theft would have been noticed in time likely!"
"From the sounds of it, it must've been quite a paradise!" he wowed.
"The worser that we'll never be able to return!" Grandma said bitterly.
The others nodded in agreement.

"What do we do now?" Littlefoot wondered.
"Me no know!" Petrie responded, sighing.
"We need to do something, yep, yep, yep!" Ducky shouted in worry.
"What?" Littlefoot weared down his head.
Petrie had an idea: "Me climb up there! Then me can see what grown-ups do!"
"That's a good idea, Petrie!" Littlefoot exclaimed.
"Yep,yep, yep!" Ducky gabbled and jumped from one leg to the other.
Petrie climbed the 'stairway' built of the incaved ceiling. Luckily, the boulders had broken into small pieces so the Flyer, since incapable of flying, climbed up the stairs without big difficulties.
While Petrie climbed, Ducky and Littlefoot were having a talk.
"What was wrong with you last night by the way, Ducky?"
"I do not know that, nope, nope, nope! I was having scary sleep-stories!"
"Well, right before the earthshake had started you cried out very very heavy! Then you collapsed!"
"I do not know why that has happened, no, no, no! I have dreamed that my Mommy..." She broke off her eyes watering.
"It's alright, Ducky! I'm with you!" Littlefoot comforted the little Swimmer girl and nestled against her. "T-thank you!" she sobbed, "We are friends, right?"
"Sure! You're funny, Ducky!"
"Yaaay! You are funny, too, Littlefoot! Yep, yep, yep!" The tears disappeared, Ducky was happy again.
"Hmm, I wish we could help Cera now!" Littlefoot sighed.
"I wish that, too!"
"The wound's pretty nasty! It must hurt heftily!"
"Ohh yes! My sister once has stepped on a stone in the water that had plenty of spiky, stinging thorns.  She had them stuck in her foot and everywhere was blood. My Mommy had sucked on her foot. Because she said we always have to do that if someone steps on a spiked-stone because they are poinonous!"
"Uhm.. but why do we have to suck the poison?"
"I do not know! But my Mama is always right, she is, she is!"
"Mine is..." Littlefoot swallowed hard, "was always right, too!"
This time Ducky comforted Littlefoot by hugging his foot.
"It's alright... keep on with your story!"
"Okay! After that she had licked the injury and then she had bandaged it with special leaves. She said that we must do that because the injury must be clean and dirt must not have contact to the wound!"
"Why's that?"
"I guess we must do it because the wound will heal faster, yep, yep, yep!"
"Right, that means we should lick Cera's injury clean and cover it with leaves!?"
"I think so!"
"Okay, call Petrie and tell him to bring some leaves if possible!"
"Will do!"
"I clean her injury!"
Ducky called out for Petrie who nearly had reached the top imparting him the new task.
"You help Petrie?" Petrie squeaked from above.
"I will ask Littlefoot, I will, I will!"
"Okay!"
Littlefoot licked Cera's wound clean. Although Cera's blood tasted terrible, Littlefoot did it not moaning at all since he knew that this low service could make a difference whether Cera would survive or die.
Then Ducky hopped to him.
"Littlefooooooot?"
"What is it, Ducky?"
"Can I help Petrie? He asked-ed me, he did!"
"Sure! But hurry, please!"
"Okay!"
Ducky hopped back to Petrie while Littlefoot continued licking Cera's wound clean.
"Petrie, Petrie!!!"
"So? You allowed to help Petrie?"
"Yep, yep, yep! Though we should hurry!"
"Okay! Me know about it!"
Ducky climbed up to where Petrie who had arrived at the top in the meantime was quickly.
"Can you see our parents, Petrie?"
"No! Me only see fire everywhere, ohohohhhhhhh!"
"Me too!"
Both were frustrated that their parents where nowhere to be seen.
"Me wanna cuddle with me Mama!" Petrie whined.
"Yeah, I miss my Mommy very much!" Ducky agreed.
The two youngsters fell silent for a few moments. They moved closer together to send comfort to each other and listened to their thoughts whereby they spectated the eruption of the fire pit.
"It looks so beautiful!" Ducky eventually whispered.
"Yeah, it nice but it also spooooooooky!" Petrie replied.
"Yep, yep, yep!"
They were silent for some time again.
"Oh no!!!"
"What it, Ducky?"
"We totally forgot to look for leaves, oh no, no, no, no, no!!!"
"Me no see any green stuff, anywhere!"
"I neither see anything! Cera really needs these leaves!"
"But how you gonna do that?"
"I do not know!"
"Hmm, then we go to Littlefoot?"
"You better stay up here, Petrie, because if we have to climb to the top again you don't have to climb the whole thing again!"
"You right, Ducky! Then Petrie wait here!"
"Yep, yep, yep!"
Ducky climbed down to where Littlefoot was who had removed all the dirt from Cera's injury meanwhile to announce the bad news...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, told ya there would be a lot of dialogue :angel

In the next one, the four friends go exploring :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on November 03, 2013, 02:39:03 PM
Oscar's one interesting individual.  :DD Looking forward to seeing what happens with him next. And Cera... :o Onto the next chapter...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on November 03, 2013, 02:46:18 PM
Bad news? I don't like the sound of that... :cry
Good chapter though - one thing I haven't really noticed before is how well you capture each characters' style of speech, especially Ducky's and Petrie's. Two characters, which, I have to admit, do not get much dialogue in my fic... :p The used of Ducky's 'asked-ed' is so obviously her speech pattern, and yet its very rarely made use of in fics. So, good job! And the adults are acting like kids again.  :rolleyes: And where is Spike?  :o
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on November 09, 2013, 10:34:44 AM
Thanks :) I'd use Ducky's speech pattern much more often if I knew on which occasions the little Swimmer uses it  :rolleyes: Guess I gonna ask for help somewhere :yes

I'm glad Oscar is received well :)

And why the bloody heck do people keep asking when Spike shows up?!  :lol I shouldn't have spoiled his existance in chp 9  :rolleyes:
I shall only say, he will show up, but I won't say when  :nyah

Speaking of 'when', I'll indemnify you with the nextr chapter :P:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 19: Pterano's no Luck/ Exploring
 
First of all, Pterano flew to the ledge where he and his sister dropped off the children. The vegetation was burning everywhere, rivers of fire were shoving through the region heavily. Dozens of fire spouts of varying height and width shot out of the underground not far away from him.
"No ash, at least!" the experienced Flyer thought landing on the ledge. He looked whether the paths could be passed or not. The one the four kids had used was covered with lots of rubble but it was still passable for smaller dinosaur kinds like his. The tension let his heart beat faster, his knees were shaking slightly. Pterano climbed into the path laboriously...
After a few minutes though he found himself standing in front of a huge rockslide. The partly huge boulders built a massive wall. "No way through!" he sighed, the disappointment could be read in his beakened face. "Then I must discover another entrance! Pterano climbed out of the cave. Outside, he streched his wings, started and flew away...

Littlefoot looked around observantly. He wondered if there would be anything interesting to be discoved deeper in the cave. After some time, he noticed a tiny side path. He evaluated whether he should wait for the others or explore the path on his own. Just, as he had decided for the latter, he heard Ducky jumping down the boulders. He approached her.
When Ducky noticed that Littlefoot was heading toward her, she came to a standstill. "Does Cera feel better?" she asked.
When Littlefoot arrived by the Swimmer, he replied: "Not really! At least I cleaned her injury!"
"Ohhh! I hope she will be fine soon, yep, yep, yep!"
"Petrie hope so, too!" Petrie squawked having jumped down a few boulders to be included to the talk.
"Me too! You seeked out anything?" Littlefoot questioned.
"We no finded anything!" Petrie sighed.
"Yep, yep, yep! We find-ed neither our parents nor green food, oh no!" Ducky confirmed.
"That's not good!" Littlefoot cursed, "Cera's injury needs to be covered with something!"
"Littlefoot right!" Petrie croaked.
After a short, awkward moment of silence Littlefoot spoke up.
"Come down here you two! Let's explore this place a bit!"
"Oohhh, Petrie had already enough adventures today!" Petrie retorted.
"But Petrie!" Ducky shouted, "Maybe, we track down another exit, yep, yep, yep!"
"My thoughts exactly!" Littlefoot declared. "I discovered a side path... though it's a narrow and dark one, we should check it!"
"Count me in, please, please, please!" Ducky chattered excitedly.
"Petrie... no know!" the Flyer said.
"Come, Petrie!" Ducky begged, "Nothing bad will happen to you as long as I am by your side!" She made a sweet face.
"Do it for Cera! Littlefoot adviced.
"Alright! Me come along!" Petrie gave up.
"Yaaaaaaay!!!" Ducky cried with joy.
"Great!" Littlefoot exclaimed, "Let's go then! In here!"
Littlefoot passed the small hole behind which a fairly big and wide path was. Ducky and Petrie followed him coming to a standstill after a few steps.
"It pretty dark!" Petrie shivered.
It was pretty dim indeed so that their eyes had to get used to the sudden rareness of light first. When they were able to see again, they continued their way deeper into the cave. At that, they walked slow and careful since there was rubble everywhere that was difficult to spot in the darkness.
The path became more narrow after a while and none of them talked, not even Ducky. They only did if one of the three spotted an obstacle.
After some minutes, the path divided into three.
"Oh no! What do we do now?!?" Ducky asked, worried.
"Well, seems as if we need to separate!" Littlefoot answered being somewhat clueless.
"Petrie no want to be separated from you, no, no!" Petrie shouted anxiously.
"Don't be such a scaredy-egg, Petrie!" Littlefoot shouted, annoyed. He rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Petrie! You are completely safe because we are all alone here! Yes we are!" Ducky encouraged him.
"You s-s-sure?" Petrie asked self-consciously.
"Of course! How can someone get in?"
"Maybe there is another entrance!" Ducky guessed. "But that would mean that me might not be alone... ohh nooooooo!"
"Yeah, but that's ... unlikely!" Littlefoot quickly added to convince Petrie completely.
"A-alright! Me discover cave, a-all a-alone!" Petrie stuttered.
Ducky walked to Petrie putting her hand on the left shoulder of the Flyer.
"You can do it, yep, yep, yep!" she whispered.
"Me can do it!" Petrie repeated. They grinned at each other.
"Good! Perhabs we should call out before going in!" Littlefoot proposed. "Just in case..."
"Yep, yep, yep, that is a gooood idea!" Ducky prattled, agreeing.
"Heeelloooooooooooo!!! Anyone?" Petrie shouted as loud as he could.
"If you hear us, respond!!" Littlefoot screamed.
"Come out, whereever you are!!!" Ducky added.
They waited though they didn't get any answers.
"Great, so seeya later! Call, if anything's wrong!"
"Got it, flathead!"
"Hehehe, I do, I do!"
This way, the three friends separated. Petrie took the narrowest and smallest path, Ducky wandered along a path that was seemingly a bit less dark than the other two and Littlefoot took the remaining one. But they weren't alone...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The uploading will be on a hiatus now to give my proofreaders a chance to catch up :angel

What will happen in chp 20... Well, let's just say Ducky discovers something ;)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on November 22, 2013, 01:34:34 PM
No reviews?  :o

Well, that's going to change after this chapter :lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 20: The lonely Spiketail/ Is there an hope left?

Pterano searched through the whole region for hours. Nonetheless, he didn't find an entrance to the cave. Frustrated, he returned to the herd.
Though he had overlooked the opening in the ceiling...

A young Spiketail layed in the dead end of a path crying because his whole family lost their lives due to the carnivore attack. Only he was able to slip through their claws and teeth and fled off. When he  spectated his parents getting eaten alive, he lost his voice - he couldn't even cry out loud -.
Anyhow, he ran until he had fallen into a deep hole. As if by miracle, he was alright shambling along a pretty long path that was continously going uphill sobbing until he discovered a small cave. There he eyed a narrow path which he wandered along until he had reached the place he was at right now. The little Spiketail didn't know what to do. He was all alone, quite hungry and thirsty and had no hope. He just couldn't imagine to live without his parents and his siblings. His father once told him that all dinosaurs reach another world in which everyone could live happily in peace after their demise. No Sharpteeth are said to be around but only those who had always been good and friendly toward their own kind as well as toward other kinds were allowed to go to that place. However, those who had been evil and mean toward their own kind and other kinds were exiled to a dreadful place where they had to live in torment.The little one knew that he would be sent to the good place when he died. His family would be there for sure because they had always been friendly and helpful toward everybody. He just hoped he would see them again soon.
Suddenly, the little one jerked up, out of his death-hooked thoughts as he heard something humming..

Pterano returned to the others. They formed a circle around him immediately.
"So? Any news of interest, Pterano?" the Threehorn questioned his voice threatening.
"Did you find the children??? Please affirm that you found them, pleaaaaaase!!!" Mama Swimmer cried.
"Well, dunno how to put it... I looked everywhere but I haven't found any entrances."
"NOOOOOO!!!" Ducky's Mommy cried desperately.
"Have you checked the path that the children disappeared in?" Grandpa asked.
"Yes, totally caved in." Pterano answered dejectedly.
All dinosaurs, particularly those who lost their beloved little one(s), were shocked. Now they had lost a part of their offspring as well.
Ducky's and Petrie's Mothers weeped due to the loss, Cera's Father knocked down a withered tree and Littlefoot's Grandparents nestled their necks, Grandma weeping slightly.
Oscar spectated them feeling quite awkward.
"You mustn't loose hope!" he tried to break the silence. "If your little ones are as smart as you described them, I'm fairly confident that they will make it outta it!"
"As if you know..." Cera's Father grumbled having given up any hope.
"Perhabs Pterano overlooked something?" Grandpa piped up.
"Yes, perhabs he can't see the entrance from high above?" Mr. Clubtail added.
"Well, that obviously might be the case." Pterano admitted silently. He had the feeling in his guts he  really overlooked something.
"Shall I head off again?" he offered.
"Preferably not," Oscar piped up, "It's late and there'll be a lot of Skywater tonight!"
"How do you know!?" the Threehorn barked.
"Don't you see these clouds?" he asked in return and pointed to the Big Water.
"Yeah, I'm not blind!" the Threehorn replied insolently.
"Well, these clouds show that colder air from the Cold Lands is on its way towards us. They look like a wall! There'll be a lot of Sky Fire, you'll see."
"If you say so!" Mr Threehorn moved away from the group.
"How come that you know so many things???" Petrie's Mother marveled.
"Well, I travelled a lot. I told you I met this couple of weird Rainbowfaces, right? They considered me clever, very clever to be honest, so they taught me some parts of their ingredible wisdom."
"Anyway, it's getting dark. Let's find a place for the night!" Grandpa suggested.
The herd agreed so they walked along the beach until they had discovered a sheltered place. Unfortunately, it didn't become silent. Some of the children weeped, many had sleepstories. The arising storm with its side effects like thunderstorms, heavy wind or high breakers let the dinosaurs sleep very poor...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who's dat Spiketail?! :lol Well, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter  :angel

Chapter 21 will be about that Spiketail and I think I'll upload it fairly soon..
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on November 22, 2013, 01:50:09 PM
:o Ooh, Spike!

 :lol Nice chapter...I like how you opened with (well, I presume it was) Spike, and I have to say I find the fact that his father had a concept of an afterlife interesting. I wonder if other people share his views?

And as for Oscar, well...he just keeps on surprising me. If he knows the Rainbowfaces, who knows what he'll bring out next... :lol:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on November 22, 2013, 05:32:13 PM
Finally got around to leaving a review  :p

I really liked the small reason you gave for Spike (or is it :lol) not being able to talk in your version, I thought it really added a layer of depth to his character, rather than just having him not talk.

The mention of the rainbowfaces was pretty nice too. I wonder if they'll have an impact on the story later on...

This was a good chapter, looking forward to finding out who the spiketail heard humming  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on November 26, 2013, 02:39:50 PM
Quote
I like how you opened with (well, I presume it was) Spike, and I have to say I find the fact that his father had a concept of an afterlife interesting. I wonder if other people share his views?
Thanks :) I didn't think this would be so special.. I was just.. sorta trying to descibe the death thingy :lol
Quote
I really liked the small reason you gave for Spike (or is it dino_laugh.gif) not being able to talk in your version, I thought it really added a layer of depth to his character, rather than just having him not talk.
Glad you think so... I thought that would be a very reasonable reason :p
Quote
The mention of the rainbowfaces was pretty nice too. I wonder if they'll have an impact on the story later on...
Well, you will see ;)

Anyway, here we go!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 21: Spike

Littlefoot discovered a big hollow after a short time already its ground being covered with countless red luminous lights. He wondered what said red lights were so he approached for a closer look. Upon closer inspectation, he could behold that they were luminous pebbles touching one of them. They felt strange, as if someone had wrapped some kind of moss around them. 'Hmm, these stones might give us some light' he thought. 'I'll get everyone to see them!'
Littlefoot continued exploring the hollow - after all he could see fairly well due to the light the pebbles spent.

Petrie came to a standstill after a couple of steps since the Flyer was too frightened in the darkness...

Ducky wandered along the path jauntily and hummed and sang. The path didn't seem to end though. Just, when she began to be bored, she suddenly crashed into something soft and tumbled to the ground. She uttered a loud scream in surprise...

Littlefoot turned around instantly when he heard Ducky screaming. At that, he forgot to grab some pebbles due to him hurrying. He actually had in mind to show them to Ducky and Petrie.

Petrie got scared when he heard Ducky screaming. He darted to the spot where they had separated to wait for Littlefoot since he didn't want to enter the sinister path on his own...

Cera woke up having terrible aches. When she realized that she was all alone, she began to search for the others and called for them, panicked...

The Spiketail knew that his end had come. He thought of his family. Shakily, he curled up himself and waited for the bite that would seal his death...

At first, Ducky ran some distance but she slowly creeped closer again when she realized that she was neither chased by something nor were there any noises. Despite the thick darkness, she could eye a shaking creature curled up in a corner that seemed to be the dead end of the path.
"Hello?" she called quietly. "I will not harm you, no, no, no."
The creature stopped shaking like an aspen.
"What is your name, heh? Heh?" Ducky questioned, a little louder this time.
The creature stood up to scan Ducky. For the sake of safety, Ducky went a few steps back because the alien dinosaur was far bigger than she was.
"Maybe you cannot talk yet? Heeeh?" she asked.
The creature mumbled something pretty sad and tormented sounding.
"You are all alone, you are, you are," Ducky diagnosed. "So where is your family then? Or do not you have  any family?"
The lively Swimmer didn't get a response so she approached the other dinosaur. Just, when she was about to touch its face, tears rolled down its cheek hitting Ducky.
"Oh, you do not have to cry, nope, nope, nope," she said. "Did you lose your family?"
The creature nodded and uttered some sad sounds. Subsequently, it made a face looking like a Sharptooth and even suitable noises.
"Did you lose your family because of the Sharptooth attack as well? Because my daddy had been eaten and m-my Mommy is v-v-very f-far away. W-we were separated, y-you know?" Ducky started to weep. It felt as if a rather spiky thing had drilled right into her heart. The other dinosaur joined her sniveling soon.

Littlefoot was surprised when he met Petrie at the crosspaths.
"Come! Climb up!" he instructed him.
Petrie didn't need to be told twice. He climbed up Littlefoot's tail rapidly and got comfortable on his back. The little Longneck stormed along the path that Ducky had chosen.
"Me sorry me no gone along the path," Petrie said quietly, obviously ashamed.
"Not now, Petrie!!! We must hasten to Ducky's aid!" Littlefoot shouted.
"Me geddit. Me be silent now..."

Cera heard sounds coming out of a little crack in the wall. She went into this crack and found another path that she was following for the sake of discovering what was going on.

After a few minutes both of them calmed down.
"Do you want to come along?" Ducky asked. "My friends and I are trying to find our families again. You could join us if you want, you could, you could!"
The creature considered quickly, then nodded.
"Hooray!!!" Ducky rejoiced and danced around. "Come!"
The creature grabbed Ducky and put her on its head.
"Hehehehehe! Thank you for carrying me, "Ducky chuckled. She climbed to the back of the creature and realised some little, round bumps.
"You are a Spiketail so I call you Spike," she announced merrily.

The Spiketail already had a name given by his parents. However, as he thought, a new name would be a good start into a new life that would help him accept and forget the death of his family. Though, he would never forget them. Besides, he liked the name 'Spike' thus he nodded in agreement.
"Yep, yep, yep!" Ducky chattered.
 
Cera eventually arrived at the crosspath and listened for any sounds carefully. There seemed to be someone walking step by step in one of those three paths and she also heard Ducky talking. She entered the path.

Littlefoot, with Petrie on his back, ran as fast as he could run through the thick darkness. Again and again, he touched or even rammed the walls or obstacles blocking his way.

Finally, they heard Ducky's voice. Relieved, Littlefoot slowed down to a jog.
"Ducky!" he called.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So yeah, now we have a true Gang of Five or is it... Well, see it yourself as soon as I'm able to put the next chapter online :yes

PS: Thanks a bunch proofreading this, bushwacked  :exactly
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on November 27, 2013, 12:51:44 PM
Looks like they're finally going to be the gang we all know and love  :D I thought the part where Ducky and Spike met was really nicely written - I'm trying to imagine what Spike trying to pull a sharptooth face would look like  :lol

The glowing pebbles are kind of creepy too - I don't trust the 'moss' around them :p I'm looking forward to the next part!

(P.S Don't mention it  :))
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on November 27, 2013, 03:09:34 PM
My apologies for not yet reviewing this story.

It looks like things are certainly coming together. :smile  I especially love how you have depicted Spike in the recent chapters.  Due to his lack of speech, he is often overlooked by authors and they usually portray him in the third-person.  However, you have taken the step of depicting his inner monologue and letting us readers understand his mental and emotional state after he lost his family.  The addition of Spike's thoughts on an afterlife is also an interesting addition in that, with the exception of the first film, allusions to such a possibility are generally lacking in the films.

I also must agree with bushwacked in that the meeting between Ducky and Spike was well written. :yes  You definitely have these characters well-portrayed.  I can easily imagine Ducky and Spike interacting in the way that you have depicted in this story.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on November 27, 2013, 03:45:45 PM
Ah, I'm glad you two think so :) I also tried to include a few quotes from LBT 1 as you probably noticed :smile

The moss on those pebbles is actually a layer of fluorescant bacteria. It has only little impact on the plot overall.. I originally had an idea but I went with something else, I kept the stones since they were still useful to fill my chapters :D There will be a chapter where I refer to the episode of the Shiny Colour Stones (or whatever they are called :p) but *SPOILERS!*
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on November 27, 2013, 06:28:27 PM
Well, you were right, I did enjoy it!  :DD

And yeah, the Gang of Five at last! Interested in seeing where it goes from here... :lol I have to say, Spike's introduction here felt a lot fuller and more emotional I think, than the one we now see in the original film, with more of Spike's own thoughts and how Ducky and him connect from the beginning. (not to undermine how great the film is of course!) So, good work on that.

Waiting to see how this continues!  :p

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on November 30, 2013, 05:26:52 PM
I really like how this one came out.. and I bet you'll like it as well :yes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 22: May Spike stay?

Spike and Ducky, who was already able to understand parts of Spike's unique gibberish being able to  understand languages very well due to her eleven siblings' toddler languages being quite diverse, were just talking when they heard Littlefoot calling.
Spike shook, startled. He wanted to flee being frightened but Ducky calmed him down.
"You do not need to be scared, Spike, oh no, no, no! It is just Littlefoot," she taught him.
Spike untightened. Ducky had already told him about her friends though she hadn't told him how they had become friends yet.
"I am here, Littlefoot," Ducky called in response.
Spike continued trotting.
"You alright?" Littlefoot asked, worried.
"Yep, yep, yep, I am alright," Ducky answered. " I find-ed a new friend, I did," she chuckled merrily.
"New friend?" Petrie wondered, baffeled, "We all thought you in danger!"
Spike glanced up to where Ducky sat on him uneasily.
"Do not worry, Spike! It is just Petrie. He is extra friendly, you will see, yep, yep, yep," she said and eased the Spiketail's worries.
"Who did you just talk to, Ducky?" Littlefoot questioned.
"I talked to Spike, silly," she giggled.
"Who or what the hell is 'Spike', eh?!?" Cera shouted through the cave from a distance.
Everyone was frightened for a moment, especially Spike.
"That was ehm... Cera," Ducky told the Spiketail silently.
"Ducky him found!" Petrie squawked back.
Ducky and Littlefoot finally made visual contact, provided any of them could see each other in the darkness at all.
"He is a Spiketail and he cannot talk, nope, nope, nope, and he lost his parents," Ducky told them.
"Just like we did," Littlefoot commented.
"So??? Are ya absolutely certain ya wanna take him along, Ducky?!?" Cera asked frowning.
"Of course I want to take him along, Cera. Why would I not?" Ducky shrugged.
"Spiketails eat pretty much food and they sleep a lot and they're slower than we are!!!" Cera argued.
"So what? He is all alone. He needs me," Ducky replied.
Cera caught up with everyone.
"But WE don't need him!!!" she shouted madly.
"Cera!!!" Ducky cried indignantly, her eyes getting wet.
"I don't care what'cha think! I don't want him to join us!!!" Cera continued to argue.
"That not nice!" Petrie piped up.
"Nope, nope, nope," Ducky sobbed.
Spike licked her with his tongue.
Ducky suddenly felt that nobody would be able to separate her from Spike. As a last result, she would search for her mommy and her siblings just with Spike. Her mother had always been warm-hearted and tolerant so Ducky hoped she would adopt Spike. Though they had to find her first.
"Why are you so straight against him, Cera?!?" Littlefoot joined the argument.
"Yeah, he not did bad thing!" Petrie replied supporting Littlefoot.
"Humpff! He's only a disadvantage for all of us! He eats our rare food, if we find anything at all, and he slows us down!!!" Cera reasoned.
"SO WHAT!?!?!" Ducky cried, "He is my friend and he will stay with me, yes, yes, yes!!!"
Ducky's words earned her another licking from Spike. The little Swimmer returned the favor by hugging Spike's right front leg.
"If ya wanna survive, ya gotta be tough!!!" Cera roared raging. "And if ya have less food, ya gonna be weaker! Ya chance of surviving is lower!"
"Cera, you're overreacting," Littlefoot tried to settle the argument.
"Yeah, he maybe help us find food," Petrie added.
"You know nothing... My father always s..."
"Your father is a pugnacious, old fool, Cera!" Littlefoot shouted. "And so are you... Another pugnacious, stupid Threehorn!!!"
"You better take that back!" Cera threated.
"I won't!"
"TAKE IT BACK!!!" Cera roared in fury.
"NEVER!!!"
Cera uttered a war cry and charged at Littlefoot who, in return, charged at Cera blindly.
Petrie jumped from Littlefoot back to avoid getting hurt in the fight and darted to Ducky and Spike.
Then the two fighting cocks collided with each other with a terrible sound. Both cringed in pain. Cera took on Littlefoot ramming her massive head into the Longneck trying to hit as much of him as possible. Ducky and Petrie couldn't watch it and they didn't want to either though they didn't see much due to the devouring darkness.
"Petrie no can watch!" Petrie whined.
"We need to stop the fight, we do, we do!" Ducky said desperately.
"But how?" Petrie questioned.
All of a sudden, Spike stormed towards the fighting and rammed his massive body right into Cera's. The Threehorn howled in pain, Spike had caused damage to her injury. Uttering a lot of taboo words, she limped away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dunno what to comment on this chapter, I just hope you like it and leave a comment :)

That being said, the next chapter is a bit calmer and more easy-going... those kind of chapters are just there because they're needed in order not to make the story look rushed or something like that :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on November 30, 2013, 11:35:45 PM
Oooooh...me no like this last chapter :confused.  I think Spike inadvertently made things worse by getting in a fight he had no business literally jumping into, and making Cera hurt worse.  I certainly hope the next chapter is much nicer.  Yikes :blink:.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on December 01, 2013, 06:01:42 AM
Awesome chapter - Littlefoot and Cera fighting was one of my favourite scenes in the first film, so I really liked this one  :D Spike getting involved in the fight was pretty surprising too.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 01, 2013, 06:14:48 AM
Thanks you two :)

CT: Yeah, bearing in mind that you're a fan of Cera (and Ducky ;)), I need to warn you that Cera might have a rough time throughout the next few chapters... but hey, I'm following the plot of LBT 1 (the fight was one of those scenes based on the Original) so you'll see that Cera will be fine... eventually. I'm actually currently writing the chapter that is the turning point of Cera's state of health but *spoilers*  :blink:
And you're right, Spike's attack aggravated Cera's injury.

bushwacked: Me two :wave Spike is a nice guy but if you attack one of the things/dinosaurs he likes (in this case LF, since he accepted Spike with ease) he'll protect them...

EDIT: I'm planning to upload this fanfiction to fanfiction.net. Do you think I should keep the chapters as they are or rather revamp the earlier ones in terms of writing style and grammar? Both could be improved after all... I would keep them as they are here on the GoF though because I'd like to keep the history of me improving throughout the story  :angel
Another point, do you think I should give this fic a name at last or rather leave it at Ducky123's fic? I can't come up with a name anyway :bang
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on December 01, 2013, 10:37:26 AM
So the fight between Cera and Littlefoot finally occurs, but this time with quite a twist.  A perfectly in-character twist as well in that, as you mentioned, Spike does have quite a protective side when it comes to his friends.  It will be interesting to see how this develops.

Quote
I'm planning to upload this fanfiction to fanfiction.net. Do you think I should keep the chapters as they are or rather revamp the earlier ones in terms of writing style and grammar? Both could be improved after all... I would keep them as they are here on the GoF though because I'd like to keep the history of me improving throughout the story :angel

That would be entirely up to you.  But, like you said, you already have the original chapters posted to the GOF.  Therefore, if you did decide to make grammatical improvements and the like there will still be a history of how you have improved throughout the story located on this forum.  Personally, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my posts (which is why many of my posts are edited 2 or 3 times immediately after posting), so I would probably take the opportunity to make any improvements that I deemed necessary if I were in your position.

Quote
Another point, do you think I should give this fic a name at last or rather leave it at Ducky123's fic? I can't come up with a name anyway :bang

This is just my personal opinion, but I think that it would probably be best to give your story a name.  If you give it an enticing name then you may get additional readers for the story, whom may otherwise overlook a story with a placeholder title.

Edit: Darn it!  I had to correct a punctuation error.  You see what I mean about me modifying my posts several times.  :lol
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on December 01, 2013, 11:11:24 AM
Quote
EDIT: I'm planning to upload this fanfiction to fanfiction.net. Do you think I should keep the chapters as they are or rather revamp the earlier ones in terms of writing style and grammar? Both could be improved after all... I would keep them as they are here on the GoF though because I'd like to keep the history of me improving throughout the story dino_angel.gif
Another point, do you think I should give this fic a name at last or rather leave it at Ducky123's fic? I can't come up with a name anyway in-frustrated.gif

Sure, I'd say you could improve the chapter's grammar etc. when you post them up on ff.net. It'd probably give you quite a lot of satisfaction to see how much your English has improved :)

And a name would probably be a good idea. Like rhombus said, it might bring in more readers - and besides, a good story like this deserves a title.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 01, 2013, 11:51:43 AM
Okay, thanks :) I'll revamp them slightly.. and try to come up with a name that fits the story. Try...  :rolleyes:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 06, 2013, 01:20:26 PM
Chapter 23: Spike is one of us now!

Ducky and Petrie rushed to Littlefoot and Spike.
"You okay, Littlefoot?" Petrie questioned, worried.
Littlefoot groaned.
"It does not sound good, oh no, no, no!" Ducky said harassedly.
They heard Cera cursing in the distance.
Ducky reached Littlefoot who seemed to be alright aside from some light cuts.
Laborously, Littlefoot got to his feet again.
"Darn!" he groaned. "This Threehorn's insane!!!"
"Yeah, she so brutal to you, flathead!" Petrie incensed.
"Yep, yep, yep!" Ducky agreed.
Spike licked all of them with his tongue making pleasant sounds at that.
"Thanks Spike, I owe you a thank you as well," Littlefoot laughed.
"Awww...uhmmm...ehhh," Petrie stammered in lack of words.
"Hehehehehe...... hehehehehe... stop it, Spike, you are tickling me," Ducky giggled.
Spike left Ducky in peace. Grinning, he looked at his new found friends and he was happy about that.
"I do not understand why Cera is so hostile towards Spike, no, no, no!" Ducky sighed.
"She have pain in back so she grumpy, probably..." Petrie guessed.
"Possibly..." Littlefoot answered, "Though I rather believe that she just wanted to fight!"
"That right!" Petrie commented.
"Her father's always as quarrelsome, mean and hostile towards others, if not worse!" Littlefoot continued.
"Yep, yep, yep! He argues with everyone, except with others of his kind," Ducky piped up.
"I haven't noticed that yet, Ducky!" Littlefoot said amazed.
"Yeah, good point!" Petrie squeaked in agreement.
"Thank you!" She gave them a warm smile. "But I do not understand why Threehorns are so quarrelsome and mean, nope, nope, nope."
"My grandma has told me that every kind has certain attributes," Littlefoot narrated.
"My mommy has told me that we Swimmers are always kind and helpful, yep, yep, yep," Ducky recalled.
"Me Flyer, Flyers veeeeeeeeery brave," Petrie shew off. "You pretty nice, Ducky, you too, flathead."
"My name's Littlefoot..." the little Longneck chuckled.
"Petrie sorry!"
"So are you, Petrie. Hehehe!" Ducky chuckled. "Spike is nice as well in his own way..."
"No doubt!" Littlefoot agreed.
"For a short time, there was silence.
"Well, we should return to the opening in the ceiling I suppose," Littlefoot proposed. "There's some light after all..."
"Everyone agreed so they followed him out of the dark path.

In the meantime, Cera limped into the path Petrie was supposed to explore earlier her face distorted with pain. After a few minutes, she collapsed, exhausted, and fell asleep in an instant.

When Littefoot, Ducky, Petrie and Spike had reached the crosspath, Littlefoot remembered that he hadn't shown them his discovery.
"Guys! I found something mysterious in the cave I was exploring earlier!" He announced, excited.
"Oh! What is it, heh? Heh?" Ducky questioned curiously.
"Me wanna know that, too!" Petrie exclaimed, excited as well.
Spike nodded in agreement.
"Come along! You gotta see this!" Littlefoot said.
"Spike carrying Ducky and Petrie followed Littlefoot.
After a short moment, the four friends were at the cave with the luminous stones. Though nothing spent any light at all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here we go! Since I don't know what else to say anyway, I gonna announce that I have more fics in work. If everything follows the schedule I try to follow, I'll post them around Christmas/New Year :)

Something's not right in the next chapter... see it yourself in a bit ;)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Sleeping-force's-inside on December 06, 2013, 04:10:59 PM
Well, considering you were complaining xD

OMG, somehow that battle seems more awesome like this! :o

Now I'm really curious how this would have gone had they been adults xD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 06, 2013, 04:37:21 PM
You did it :D I'm happy now.

Well, you're right. THAT would've been a major fight :smile

The astonishing journey to the Land of many Wonders (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9891507/1/The-astonishing-journey-to-the-Land-of-many-Wonders) Link to ff.net (yes, I named it AT LAST!  :bang )
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Sleeping-force's-inside on December 06, 2013, 04:44:26 PM
It's about bloody time you did! XD
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on December 09, 2013, 11:48:44 AM
I know I said it before and I'll say it again, but poor Cera :cry.  I hope she didn't go into shock, because that's not a fun experience :confused.

The characters in this latest chapter felt out of character, to me at least.  Of all the Gang, I would've at least expected Littlefoot and Ducky to be more concerned about the fact that Cera got even more injured and they would put more effort into trying to find her and help her out.  I dunno, but those two seem to normally be characters who would always help someone out, regardless of if they were just in a fight with that character or not.  For that reason, this last chapter felt out of place to me.  But, who knows what the next one holds?  Maybe I'm speaking too soon :lol.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 09, 2013, 11:57:47 AM
Well pointed out, I didn't notice this myself  :angel

Well, Ducky is pretty focused on Spike and Littlefoot is too angered to think about helping Cera... A little out of character for sure but, as you'll see, you indeed spoke too soon ;) Though it might need a few more chapters until that happens *I spoiled enough already  :oops *
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on December 13, 2013, 05:51:41 PM
Right, well, interesting couple of chapters. I find it interesting how Spike is initially timid, considering how I always found him very over-friendly and open, possibly considering how readily accepted he was into his group of friends. I also like how you've put a bit of a spin on his character here - timid until he realised how well accepted he was!

A nice reflection to the original film here, but this time with it flipped on its head - Littlefoot was the one who enticed Cera into fighting. I think he may have been a little to brash with her, openly insulting both her and her father like that, even given the circumstances, but that may have been your intention. And considering Cera's losses, if Littlefoot had mentioned her mother or sisters, I'm fairly sure she wouldn't have hesitated to kill him...

But anyway, I shall wait and see what happens next.  :lol
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 13, 2013, 06:20:37 PM
^You don't need to wait much :smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 24: What happened to the Shiny Stones???

"I do not see anything Littlefoot, nope, nope, nope," Ducky piped up.
"Me no see them, too," Petrie said, agreeing with her.
Spike's face looked questioning.
"Damn it!!!" Littlefoot said, annoyed. "Earlier, the ground was covered with shining stones that had a soft surface feeling like... moss!"
"I believe you, Littlefoot, I do, I do," Ducky said trying to cheer him up.
"Petrie believe you, too."
"But I do not understand why they are not there anymore, nope, nope, nope," Ducky wondered. "I mean, they cannot just disappear, can they???"
"Actually not," Littlefoot replied. "Or have you seen stones walking?"
"Stones do not walk, hehehehehe," Ducky giggled.
"Maybe they just don't shine anymore?" Littlefoot guessed.
"Yeah, that sound good," Petrie agreed.
"Ducky, Spike? Would you like to look and see?" Littlefoot suggested. "The stones can't be gone!"
"Yep, yep, yep, we look and see, right Spike?" Ducky replied happily.
Spike nodded so they slowly walked into the cave.
Ducky only needed a few steps to come across a pebble. She uttered a short scream.
"Yucky! It feels icky, it does!" she shouted in disgust.
Spike walked to Ducky and licked one of the stones. The Spiketail uttered disgusted tones.
Littlefoot and Petrie walked to them. The Flyer touched the stone Ducky still held in her hands as well.
"That funny stone," he croaked.
Littlefoot touched the stone as well observing that it was the same kind of stone he discovered earlier.
"Yes, the ones I found earlier."
"But what we do now?" Petrie asked.
"Maybe we should take a few stones with us?" Ducky proposed.
"But stones don't shine..." Petrie reasoned.
"Maybe they just need some rest," Ducky guessed.
"That possible," Petrie agreed.
Spike showed his agreement, too.
"Well, for now, everybody  takes one stone," Littlefoot said. "We go back to the rock slide that cut the way back."
"Yep, yep, yep!"
"Okay!"
Ducky, Petrie and Spike each took one stone quickly. Littlefoot took the one Ducky had found. On the way back the Swimmer had a thought.
"Littlefoot? The rock slide has not cut off our way back, nope, nope, nope."
"How come?" Littlefoot wondered blankly.
"We cannot go away from the rocky outcrop unless the Flyers pick us up there..."
"Yeah..." Littlefoot sighed, "We can't go there anyway... everything is blocked and caved in."
"Littlefoot right!" Petrie confirmed.
"Well, at least we have found Spike, yep, yep, yep," Ducky said reminding her friends.
Spike licked Ducky so forcefully that the little Swimmer fell on her back.
"Hehehehe, Spike!!!" she chuckled.
Spike laughed as well, so did Littlefoot and Petrie.
"You're right, Ducky," Littlefoot said eventually, nodding after everyone had recovered from the laughter.
Finally, they arrived at the rock slide and the hole in the ceiling. It had become night in the meantime, thus it was very dark. Distant thunder could be heard.
"Oh, is it already night???" Ducky wondered.
Spike yawned with pleasure, his view becoming sleepy.
Petrie yawned as well. "Petrie tired."
"I'm a bit tired, too," Littlefoot admitted. "Let's find a place to rest!"
"Yep, yep, yep!"
The four friends found a snuggy place to rest. Littlefoot plopped to the ground next to Spike, Ducky rested on Spike's back, Petrie on Littlefoot's.
However, the four couldn't fall asleep...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another rather easy-going chapter :) But don't worry, you get your action soon enough ;)

The next chapter will be a little sad I think though nothing major  :angel
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on December 15, 2013, 10:19:08 AM
Whoops, late review :oops

This was another good chapter, though it seems like this was more of a 'setter upper' for something. I liked Ducky's reaction to walking into one of the pebbles :lol Hopefully the stones they took will come in useful, and Cera'll be okay!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 20, 2013, 06:46:10 PM
No, I'm not uploading weekly on purpose :angel Hope to get those chapters out twice a week  :bang
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 25: No sleep

None of the four friends was able to drift off to sleep. All of them were deep in their thoughts, Ducky sobbing quietly.
Petrie, Spike and Ducky in particular thought of their families missing them highly whereas Littlefoot puzzled about his father. Why did he run away? He just could have endured the ash rain with them since they didn't have any problems with the ash. Nonetheless, he took flight like a scaredy-egg! The longer Littlefoot considered this, the madder he got. Disappointment and wrath developed in his inside. Because of that, he vowed to forget his father completely and to never mention him ever again. Tears streamed down his face and neck.
Meanwhile, the thundering  grew louder, the wind increased in strength and the first rain drops fell. A storm would prevent them from going to sleep additionally. Littlefoot sighed. At least they were safe from the storm...
He didn't find a confortable position resulting in permanent rolling around.
"You very restless, Littlefoot!" Petrie complained.
"Forgive me, Petrie, I can't fall asleep," Littlefoot answered quietly.
They heard Ducky weeping quietly mixed with her whispering 'Mommy' all the time.
"Me neither able to sleep," Petrie sighed. He too seemed to be sad.
Ducky finally bursted into tears having curled up on Spike's back, the arms covering her face.
"We confort Ducky?" Petrie questioned in a whisper.
"Yes," Littlefoot responded.
"She always cry."
"Yeah, poor girl... she can be so funny and friendly..."
The two kids got to their feet and walked to Spike who was already awaiting them.
"Ducky..." Littlefoot spoke quietly and calmly, nuzzling the Swimmer.
"It alright, Ducky. You no must cry," Petrie gave it a try.
Yet, Ducky cried even louder.
Littlefoot grabbed the little one placing her on the ground carefully. She curled up again in an instant.
"You sure miss your family, don't you?" Littlefoot asked sentimentally.
"Mmhhmm!" She nodded.
"So do I..." he admitted with an unsteady voice. He too began to weep.
"Me miss my brothers and sisters," Petrie sobbed.
"Yep, yep, yep!"
Ducky uncurled herself and got up placing herself next to Spike. Then she wrapped her arms around
her angled legs and placed her head in her arms.
"Mama!!! Papa!!!" she cried. She also called her eleven siblings by the name.
Petrie walked to her plopping to the ground next to Ducky.
Spike was crying , too
As Ducky and Petrie cuddled with each other, Littlefoot curled up at the other side of Spike.

The cries of the four friends each of them having lost a member of their families mingled with the thunder, the swooshing and swishing of the wind and the sound of countless rain drops hitting the ground.
Neither of them would sleep well this night. Repeatedly, memories of their deceased family members made them cry more or less. At some point, even the mournful little Ducky drifted off into an unhappily dark world of dreams...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, as I said, this is just one of those chapters needed to make the story not look rushed, imo, that is :p

The next one is a two parter due to its lenght. Might be a little weird... I warned you :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on December 20, 2013, 07:20:04 PM
This chapter was short, but it was a good take on the hugging/sleeping scene from the film. You made it more depressing, which I like in a weird way  :p I'm wondering where Cera is too - hopefully she's okay.

Also, I have a bad feeling about these dreams that you mention at the end...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on December 20, 2013, 07:39:48 PM
Quote
At some point, even the mournful little Ducky drifted off into an unhappily dark world of dreams...

Wow, that statement is foreboding.  Even though this chapter is rather depressing, I like how you have elaborated upon the gang's inner turmoil at this time. Obviously the children would be going through a lot of distress and conflicting emotions after all they have experienced and lost, and I think that you have expressed that quite well in this chapter.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on December 21, 2013, 05:03:08 PM
Littlefoot's thinking about his father was good to see, I think. I really felt his anger and bitter disappointment in that passage. As for the rest of them, well...things can only get better.
I wonder what's happening with Cera as well... :unsure:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 25, 2013, 12:07:18 PM
Quote
This chapter was short, but it was a good take on the hugging/sleeping scene from the film. You made it more depressing, which I like in a weird way dino_tongue.gif I'm wondering where Cera is too - hopefully she's okay.

Also, I have a bad feeling about these dreams that you mention at the end...
Hehe, thanks :) Chapter's don't need to be extremely long to be great though it doesn't hurt to write much :angel Anyway, there are plenty chapters with about 800 words +/- ...

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At some point, even the mournful little Ducky drifted off into an unhappily dark world of dreams...


Wow, that statement is foreboding. Even though this chapter is rather depressing, I like how you have elaborated upon the gang's inner turmoil at this time. Obviously the children would be going through a lot of distress and conflicting emotions after all they have experienced and lost, and I think that you have expressed that quite well in this chapter.
I'm happy that you think so :) You're totally right with your statement that the children have to deal with death, violence etc. That's why I put this rather sad scene here :) They experience a lot all day and when settling down they are forcefully reminded that their parents aren't there... The chapter I'm uploading with this post will be another one about handling with all the things they're far too young for, actually. But they have to or they'll be lost. After that though, the action continues ;)

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Littlefoot's thinking about his father was good to see, I think. I really felt his anger and bitter disappointment in that passage. As for the rest of them, well...things can only get better.
I wonder what's happening with Cera as well... unsure.gif
Ah, I'm glad to see that somebody caught this little thought :smile Littlefoot is obviously disappointed...

Here we go! I say it again... what happens now is dreamed so it might be a little weird and not exactly possible :lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 26: Dreaming

Part 1:

Cera awoke. She found herself lying amidst a barren landscape, no green food far and wide. She got up and noticed her terrible dry mouth and throat. She walked in circles just to note that there wasn't a single bit of water around. Desperately, she considered what she could possibly do.
"Ceeeeeeeraaaaaaaa..." a voice whispered all of a sudden from somewhere above the Threehorn.
"We come and get'cha!" another voice chuckled.
"You belong to meeeee!" the first voice shouted.
"You gonna die of thirst!" the other voice forecasted.
"W-w-who are ya?" Cera questioned anxiously.
"We are spirits."
"Baaaaaaaaad spirits!"
"W-w-what do ya want??? Leave me in peace!"
"We want revenge!!!"
"And retribution!"
"But...what for?!" What did I do to you???" Cera got quite frightened.
"You're the one that caused us to leave the Great Circle of Life! 'Cause you abandoned us!!!"
"Abandoned???"
"Yeah, you abondoned us when we ran away from that Sharptooth, 'member?
"'Cause of you he feasted on our corpses!!!"
"'Cause you didn't protect us!"
"WHO.. ARE.. YA!!!"
"Your former friends!"
"Huh?!"
"Your time is expired!
"Get her!!!"
The transparent shadows that had hovered above Cera invisibly all the time moved down and decelerated just above the ground so Cera could see them.
"LITTLEFOOT!!! PETRIE!!! DUCKY!!! YOU THERE!!! It's you!" Cera now recognized her friends.
"Too late, Threehorn!"
"We accompany you to the Land of Sharpteeth located deeeeeeeep below the Smoking Mountains!"
"There you'll pay for your crimes!"
"Plus you will be under pain, under a loooooooooot of pain, actually!"
The four spirits grabbed Cera and flew away.
"RELEASE ME! RELEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE ME!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
Just at this moment, Cera heard a loud bang when the spirits suddenly vanished.

Spike wandered through a swampy area, utterly alone. He was quite sad since his parents were dead. Not looking where he was walking, he bumped into a tree trunk. The Spiketail rubbed his head and continued his aimless journey. Some time later, he encountered an impenetrable swamp. Spike  considered deeply how he could possibly cross the swamp but there was simply no way through. He wasn't a good swimmer. He plopped to the ground, desperately begging to his mother in hope of being supported. Unexpectedly, a strip of the mud just as wide as he was transformed into green food. A voice, his mother's to be exact, spoke:
"My son, you have to eat up all the food in order to get to the other side. If you however try to cheat, the swampy water will return. You'll drown."
Cowed, the little Spiketail just nodded peeking to the other shore that was hardly recognizable. He opened his mouth and began to eat. With every bite, his mouth grew bigger so that he could eat increasingly more food at once...
His tummy grew fatter, he soon looked more like a ball than like a Spiketail. As he feasted through half of the food, he got stuck. Again he begged to his mother. To his surprise, the strip grew wider indeed. He ate more and more food... and got fatter and fatter.
Suddenly, just when he recognized his whole deceased family at the other shore that was only a few more steps away, he burst with a deafening bang...

Littlefoot climbed through a landscape permeated by rifts and cracks. Water poured down, distant thunder mixed with the rippling of the rain. He was in search of his mother. "Mother! Mother, where are you???"
He almost dropped into a small crack as he tried to go across it. He suddenly saw a massive grey-ish body in the darkness. His mother!
"Mother..." the little Longneck whispered quietly and anxiously. He sprinted to her lying on a little ledge and unmoving.
His mother sighed.
"Mother, please get up," Littlefoot beseeched.
"I'm... not sure I can, Littlefoot..." she responded her voice weak.
"Yes you can. Get up," Littlefoot encouraged his mother.
The Longneck tried to get to her feet but she failed collapsing to the ground by which the ledge she lied on broke so that her head was just in front of Littlefoot.
"Dear, sweet Littlefoot..." she merely whispered. "Do you remember what I told you about the Great Circle of Life?"
"I guess so," Littlefoot sobbed, "But why do I have to remember? You gonna stay with me!"
"I'll always be with you even if you can't see me," she replied.
"What do you mean 'if you can't see me'?" Littlefoot questioned. "I can always see you!"
"Littlefoot! Let your heart guide you! It whispers, so listen closely..." Littlefoot's Mother whispered with her voice getting weaker.
"Mother! Mother???" Littlefoot screamed; he didn't get a response. Littlefoot stayed at his mother's side until he realized what must have happened. His mother would never talk to him again, never cuddle up with him again, never look into his eyes again... She wasn't around anymore to protect him from Sharptooth; he was all on his own. Crying, he stormed away, further and further until he tripped. Being exhausted, he remained lying on the ground and cried his heart out in the rain getting less intense. Thoughts made his brain go berserk. Sharptooth killed his mother, his mother had protected him. She was dead... because he, Littlefoot, was still alive.
An enormous bang pulled him out of his thoughts...

Ducky woke up. She was at a small, green place though she was all alone. Ducky checked the area and got uneasy. Where was her mother? Where were her siblings??? She called after them restlessly and anxiously. Indeed, she received an answer though it neither was uttered by Ducky's Mommy nor by one of Ducky's eleven siblings...
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The others will be in Part 2 since the chapter would've been too long otherwise :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on December 28, 2013, 06:19:05 AM
Creepy chapter  :p Spike's dream was particularly well written I thought, it was a nice way to work in his apparently endless hunger.

Littlefoot's dream was a good throwback to his mother's death in the film. Hopefully he'll get past his feelings of guilt over her death - but then again, since you're an evil, evil person I'm not sure he will...

Cera's was more funny to me, but maybe that's because the image of Petrie hovering around saying "You will be in under a lot of pain, actually" is amusing to me (I can completely hear that line in his voice). Also, Cera's back in the story so that's awesome  :smile

Looking forward to part 2!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on December 29, 2013, 10:12:18 AM
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Creepy chapter dino_tongue.gif Spike's dream was particularly well written I thought, it was a nice way to work in his apparently endless hunger.

Littlefoot's dream was a good throwback to his mother's death in the film. Hopefully he'll get past his feelings of guilt over her death - but then again, since you're an evil, evil person I'm not sure he will...

Cera's was more funny to me, but maybe that's because the image of Petrie hovering around saying "You will be in under a lot of pain, actually" is amusing to me (I can completely hear that line in his voice). Also, Cera's back in the story so that's awesome Dino_grins.gif

Looking forward to part 2!
Yes, I know it's kinda creepy :p they're dreaming after all.
Spike's was the hardest to write I recall :angel
Oh, don't worry about Littlefoot... I don't think I ever mentioned anything that has happened in the dreams again...
Yeah.. Cera's story was fun to write :smile Which is why I started with her, actually :p

Alright, here's pt 2. :)
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Part 2:

Ducky's ears perceived a loud roar and whoever made that sound - she didn't expect to get some flowers - was fairly nearby. Terrified, Ducky turned around just in time to see a Fastbiter leaping out of the undergrowth. The Swimmer screamed, very high-pitched at that, which made the attacker even angrier. Although Ducky was easily frightened, she overbeared her fears in many cases. However, to encounter a fully grown, living, teeth-gritting and beastly Sharptooth was a reason to be terrified.
Ducky panicked, adrenaline shot through her little body that was so little in fact that it would have needed a few of her siblings to cover the huge foot-prints of the raptor. Speaking of which, the Fastbiter growled deafeningly loud preparing of the jump.
Ducky's eyes became wider, she opened her mouth widely. Firing screams and cries, she shook off the shock and ran for it. She speeded up covering too big distances per step so that Ducky soon slipped due to the wet, muddy ground and crashed onto the ground hitting her nose. Dazed and out of breath, she remained where she was for a short moment until the roaring of the Fastbiter cleared her mind. Quick as lightling, Ducky leapt to her feet  and continued her desperate getaway. She sprinted further and further, passing thick vegetation, more or less thick woods and eventually she reached open grassland.
The raptor approached with every step, Ducky was out of strength. Her legs felt like tree-trunks, she gasped for air of which only insufficent quantities filled her little lungs only to get breached out again to offer space for new, fresh air, and her little heart hammered in her chest as if it wanted to jump out of it.
The vibration of the ground behind Ducky increased which made it even harder to continue running away. It was almost enough to trip her.
Suddenly, there was a particularly strong tremor that made Ducky stumble. The next one didn't happen though. Ducky looked up high. At the sight of the Fastbiter sailing through the air, Ducky's heart skipped a few beats. The touchdown of the raptor brought her down finally causing her to lurch into the dirt.
The beast leaned over its victim, smirked evilly as far as a Fastbiter was capable of using its muscles to produce a smirk and leapt down for the deathly bite. In the last moment, Ducky rolled off to the side so that the carnivore got a proper mouth full of dirt instead of a snack into his greedy mouth.
Labourously, Ducky got to her feet and sprinted away without bringing much distance between the Fastbiter, who spit out all the dirt in fury, and her.
Doing a few leaps, he soon caught up with Ducky, opened his big mouth widely, shot down and snapped shut. It had caught Ducky but it hadn't killed her yet. Without munching on his prey, it simply swallowed Ducky down. Ducky screamed from the top of her lungs unceasingly, thunder mixed with her screams...

Petrie opened his eyes. Pterano just entered the cave that was the home of the Flyers making a graceful touchdown and making eye contact with Petrie.
"Wanna go on an adventure, my tall little one?" Pterano asked with a smile.
"Of course, me always wanna go adventuring!"
"Great! Hop on! I gonna show you an exciting and thrilling place."
"Where we flapping?"
"You'll see..."
They raised up. Above the mountains however, the Bright Circle disappeared behind a dangerous looking wall of clouds.
"I bet you don't mind a little Sky Water?" Pterano called.
"Me may be big adventurer but me no like Sky Water!"
"Well, you don't have a choice if you wanna have an adventure anyway, my little one."
"Me know."
Sky Fire struck, the upcoming storm strained Pterano's wings. Petrie clinged on Pterano with all his might, he surely felt uneasy under his skin.
"You believe you can fly in bad waeather?"
"Why of course! Looks like nature's gonna examine our skills and our will."
"Me guess so."
Another Sky Fire struck, this time perceptively closer; the thunder got louder intensely.
"Spooooky!" Petrie commented.
Then water began to pour down heavily. Pterano was laborously trying to keep to their route which was quite impossible during this strong storm; the two adventurers were thrown to and fro.
The next Sky Fire shed light on the jet black sky above them striking a mountain to their left side followed by a deafening thunder. As the noise subsided, Petrie suddenly noticed an utterly unknown sound. It sounded as if a big amount of huge boulders had crashed to the ground.
"Uncle?"
"Yes, Petrie?"
"You hear that sound, too???"
"Now that you mention it... I do."
"What it?"
"See, I don't know..."
Petrie's question was answered sooner than he liked as only seconds later something big fell from the sky, and not only one thing... Uncountable white stones whizzed towards the ground in front of them wildly.
"That not good, we better go back, Uncle!" Petrie shouted terrified.
"I believe you're right! We gonna have an adventure another t.. Doh!!!"
Pterano just had been hit by one of the stones. Uttering curses, he turned around and flew back to where they came from. However, more and more of these curious stones hit the two adventurers the impacts being pretty painful.
All of a sudden, Pterano headed towards the ground steeply. Petrie didn't know why but they were going to crash. With an awful sound, Pterano impacted on the ground being covered by the white stones and water. Petrie saw a lot of blood oozing out of an injury on Pterano's head; his instincts told him it would likely mean death for his uncle.
"Uncle!? UNCLE!!! Wake up, uncle! Wake up!"
No matter how much Petrie tried, Pterano's eyes remained closed.
Sky Fire streaked into the rocks not far from him. The bang echoed for an eternity in his ears, as it seemed. Petrie was at a completely different place, suddenly, it was even dry...
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The next chapter will focus on Pterano a bit and the Gang will cope with their sleepstories :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on December 29, 2013, 10:15:41 AM
That's ominous...:o But its great anyway!

Again, another nice throwback to the original film, but with the added thoughts of everyone else. Not sure who's my favourite was - a toss-up between Cera's and Spike's...I'm interested to see what Petrie's is like.  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on December 31, 2013, 03:51:41 PM
Well, these last two dreams were cheerful   :smile It was nice seeing Petrie and Pterano interacting again, albeit in a horrible nightmare. Reading Ducky's dream also made me want to see more of the sharpteeth, hopefully they'll come back into the story soon  :p  I'm going to enjoy reading more of Pterano in the next chapter  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on January 02, 2014, 06:14:56 AM
Hm, white stones?  :blink: Now, I'd like to see where that goes...and as for Ducky, well...she never gets a break.  :( But, it was a good chapter, I feel Pterano has a lot to add to this story yet... :D
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 02, 2014, 07:27:56 AM
Ohhhh the Sharpteeth will come back... might take a while until the Gang gets into trouble but I'm spoiling their presence in a few chapters or so...
Haha, I thought it is obvious what those 'White Stones' are :lol: Petrie and Pterano managed to get into a good 'ol hailstorm :smile
Thanks for the reviews :angel
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Chapter 27: A stormy Night

Pterano gazed to the mountains. Like many of the grown-ups and the children, he couldn't sleep because of the roaring and swooshing storm, especially since they were defenceless against the harsh weather sleeping outdoors - they were trying to at least. Fortunately, they had chosen a wide bay being bordered by a cliff towards the land. They were safe from any danger coming from that way since no Sharptooth would ever make the plunge. In theory however, those could walk around the obstacle... Happily, most Sharpteeth were asleep at night just like Leafeaters would do.
The rain poured unrelentingly down on the dinosaurs from the sky, the wind blowing from the Big Water shoved it. One Sky Fire chased another, the sound of thunder mixed with the hailing down of the water and with the sound of the raging waves being moved by the storm to become an insufferable cocktail of noises.
A very dazzling Sky Fire striked the plateau where the cave was located. Pterano winced  imperceptible; Sky Fires had always scared him since he was young. The circumstance that this very Sky Fire striked the area where his nephew Petrie was let his mind wander to the children. Were they still alive? Were they still in the cave? Caught? Injured? Pterano believed having failed to see a possible exit/entrance when he was on the look for one.
The longer he thought about it the stronger the feeling of everything being his fault got. After all, it was his idea to bring the kids to a safe place. Who knows what had happened hadn't his family - Pterano believed Flyers to be the best creatures under the sun - brought the kids to the safety of the cave. What Pterano knew for certain, however, was that having to watch two innocent children being torn apart by Fastbiters was explicitly worse than the uncertainty about the wellfare of those. The Flyer took the chance the little ones were still alive for not that low. They must have taken shelter in deeper parts of the cave. It won't have collapsed completely for sure after all. Provided there wasn't an exit, they would be caught in there however. He had to take actions! Though what kind of actions? Looking for an exit/entrance that possibly didn't even exist? But what else was he capable of doing? He would check once more carefully, he sweared.
Pterano detected a slight tremor. It was so weak that most folks probably didn't even feel it. He  looked to the oasis that had in fact changed to a sea of fire worriedly. As the storm had begun, this very fire had coloured the clouds orange-ish-red-ish, now it was clearly less intense. A good omen, the outbreak seemed to weaken.
Pterano spectated the distant flaring of Sky Fire in the sky; the storm moved away from them, slowly but certainly. Unexpectedly, a thought took hold of Pterano. What, if everybody else made him responsible for the happenings? What should he tell them in defence? At least, nobody seemed to have had concerns. Additionally, who would have known that all of a sudden the earth opened up, fire poured forth and an earthshake happened? Right, nobody! Pterano calmed down.
After a while, he yawned having repressed his fatique completely. Pterano sailed through the air back to the others and laid down. Soon, he snored along with everyone else who was finally able to rest...

Littlefoot, Ducky, Petrie and Spike had waken up due to the banging thunder of the Sky Fire that had hit the rock directly above their heads. Ducky - terrified and in thoughts about what she had just dreamed - began to cry; Spike comforted her by snuggling his head with her body and whispering something in his very own language to her. He too was obviously affected by his weird sleepstory.
Whereas Littlefoot was still somewhat caught in his dream, Petrie was shaking from his head to his feet. He had always been frightened easily and the sleepstory he just had been having was fairly spooky. "Pterano, uncle..." he whispered, his voice shakily.
Now Littlefoot as well shook off the sleepstory definitively.
"It was only a sleepstory, Petrie," he calmed down the completely upset Flyer. "I guess anyway... Y'know I just had one myself."
Petrie calmed down slowly, his breathing was now steady and controlled.
"Me seen uncle crash down," he uttered eventually, laborously, and stared at the ground.
Littlefoot became aware of the content of his own sleepstory grievously. He felt like crying out but for the sake of making Petrie feel better he kept back the desire, for the time being, that was... He felt responsibility for the tiny, frightened and not yet capable of flying Flyer with the grammar issues... as if he was his big brother. Which also applied to Ducky and Spike.
"I.. in my sleepstory, I've seen my mother dying..." he told. He wasn't capable of saying more. His eyes met Petrie's. Abruptly, both began to cry, Littlefoot put his neck around the Flyer in a protective manner. It didn't take long until Spike and Ducky joined them. The little Swimmer cuddled up with Petrie whereas Spike plopped to the ground next to Littlefoot's right side whereupon Littlefoot put his frontleg around Spike.
That way, the four friends were cuddled up with each other tightly, crying - Ducky did it loud and uninhibited, Petrie in his squeeky way, Littlefoot quiet rather sobbing than weeping and Spike all muted the way he always was - and in a way sending comfort to each other.
With the storm moving away, their plaintive cries got fewer. Slowly, they drifted off into sleep again this time not having sleepstories at all...
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Yeah, Pterano feels guilty and the Gang fall asleep again :)

Very well... the next chapter will be about one character only. I'll leave it to you to guess who it might be :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 06, 2014, 06:53:50 PM
Nobody's reviewed? Well, guess you haven't noticed :p
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Chapter 28: Cera

Cera had recovered from her sleepstory quickly, it didn't need her long until she was snoring peacefully again. She didn't hear the cries of the others; sounds seemingly didn't really move around corners.

Cera awoke early in the morning the next day. Though it was absolutely dark in her area. During the process of getting up, she was suddenly conscious of a penetrating pain in her back.
"Ouch!" she complained. The pain decreased but only slowly.
While Cera just stood there, unable to walk, the funny sleepstory haunted her again. On top of that, the pain reminded her of the incidents of the other day. The Threehorn realised that the voices she had heard in the sleepstory belonged to her companions in search of food, water and their folks of course. Although Cera was mad at them - particularly at this Spiketail, what was his name again? - she didn't want the sleepstory to come true, didn't want something nasty happening to Littlefoot, Ducky and Petrie - the Spiketail was her least concern - because of her having abandoned them, failing to protect them and disappointing them. Nobody would doubt Cera was the strongest member of their group, provided she wasn't wounded, hence she felt like the protector of the group, for some odd reason. Littlefoot however seemed to claim this role as well. She would show the stupid Longneck some day. Why of all possible parts of her body had the Spiketail to hit her injury?  
Cera attempted to tame her thinking, with moderate success.
If she returned to her companions, she would have to accept the Spiketail as a member of their group since Ducky was already connected to the Spiketail too closely for Cera to chase him away with violence. She guessed she would have to get used to him. After all, maybe he really could be of help...
At least he wasn't capable of talking hence Cera wouldn't need any excuses for not talking to him; the others could do that after all.
Her thoughts returned to the Longneck. What had he said about dinosaurs of her kind? About her daddy? Threehorns being pugnaciously and mean? Well, he wasn't that wrong admittedly, but he didn't know that pride was the highest of all values being a Threehorn followed by strenght and courage closely. Just because Longnecks prefered to do things the smooth way still didn't give him any permission to accuse Threehorns as creatures with a bad attitude. 'Now I know why daddy's blowing in never to play with Longnecks!' Cera thought. Despite the pain, she couldn't help smirking.
Carefully, Cera attempted to make a step forward. The pain made her wince. What did her father keep saying? 'You gotta be tough!'
Cera considered herself tough therefore she made another step wincing again but this time she didn't allow the pain to stop her, she ignored it so to speak. Slowly but continuously, the pain when walking  got less, or was Cera just thinking this?
As she arrived at the small cave Littlefoot, Ducky, Petrie and... HE had chosen for settling down and as she was finally able of distinguishing more than just rough outlines with her eyes eventually, the Threehorn girl took her first look at her injury. Just at this moment she realised the actual seriousness of it. A fairly big area of her back was swollen in an ugly way and (now that Cera considered it) something pulsated to the rhythm of her heart. What was even uglier, was the fact that the injury wasn't covered by scab as could be expected but by a weird yellow-ish-green crust. Cera prefered not to be aware of what the yellow-ish stuff was because it, without any doubt, wasn't doing her any good.
She turned to the four sleeping dinosaurs she wanted to find the grown-ups with. She sighed calling. "Get up, will ya!"
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Here you have Cera, alive and kicking... yet.

The next one is, other than this chapter, dialogue-based. Some lil' arguments and they need to decide where to go next :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on January 06, 2014, 07:03:34 PM
Yikes!  Poor Cera.  I do not like the sound of her injury at all.  :(

Overall, I think that this was a nice chapter that gave us a clearer view of Cera's perspective on the situation.  I did notice two sentences however that were confusing in the way that they were written.

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She didn't hear the cries of the others; sounds seemingly didn't really preferably move around corners.

I think that "preferably" can be omitted in this sentence.

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What was even uglier, was the fact that the injury wasn't covered by scab as could be expected but by a yellow-ish-green crust similar to the normal one.

"instead" should probably be added after "but" to clarify that the injury was covered by something other than a scab.  However, I am confused by the reference to the yellow-ish-green crust being "similar" to the normal one.  Wouldn't it be better to refer to it as different from the normal one?

But overall I found this chapter to be a very welcome addition to the story.  :yes I am eager to see how things develop now that the gang is back together.

Keep up the good work!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 07, 2014, 04:38:27 AM
Thanks for your feedback, rhombus :)

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"instead" should probably be added after "but" to clarify that the injury was covered by something other than a scab. However, I am confused by the reference to the yellow-ish-green crust being "similar" to the normal one. Wouldn't it be better to refer to it as different from the normal one?
I guess you're right :) I'll change those issues. Thanks for letting me know :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on January 07, 2014, 04:52:17 AM
No problem.  :)  By the way, did you notice that fanfiction.net seemed to be having file upload issues today?  I tried to upload the first chapter of my fanfiction to the site throughout the day, but it would only let me upload a few hours ago.  I wonder if this is a regular problem on that site?  

In either case, they seem to have the issue resolved at the moment in the event that you were having the same difficulties that I was.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 07, 2014, 05:05:51 AM
I just added chapter 14 there and it worked just fine... Well, I too had that problem at first if I recall correctly.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on January 07, 2014, 05:16:05 AM
Nice, more Cera  :D It doesn't look like she'll last much longer if that wound on her back doesn't get treated somehow... I liked reading what Cera thought of the whole situation too, though it seems like she really doesn't like Spike. Kind of rich, considering the position she's in  :p

Looking forward to the next one. Arguments you say? I wonder who could be the one causing them...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 11, 2014, 03:35:18 PM
Hehe :lol
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Chapter 29: Which way to go?

Littlefoot, Ducky, Petrie and Spike jerked up from sleep.
"Why so early, Mama?" Ducky babbled half asleep.
"Cera! It's you!" Littlefoot called, pleased despite the fight the other day - he hadn't forgotten the dents, scratches and bruises that were still hurting a little bit.
"You never wake Petrie up like that again, got it?!" Petrie grumbled having been scared to death.
Spike yawned with relish and closed his eyes again.
"You better get up if you wanna find your folks, now will ya?" Cera grinned. It seemed to have worked considering that Ducky got to her feet in an instant (alright, Mama!) catching Cera whom she just at this moment seemed to recognise with her eyes. Petrie crawled up on Littlefoot's back who in return shook the Flyer off. "I can't carry you all the time, Petrie," he explained with an apologising gesture.
A bit saddened, Petrie climbed down from the back of the little Longneck.
"Where to go?" Ducky questioned.
"We just follow the path we came from," Littlefoot proposed.
"What, if the path divides?" Cera challanged Littlefoot.
"Then, well... er... then we simply separate to find the right one..." Littlefoot replied uncertainly.
"That's gonna take too much time!" the Threehorn retorted snappishly. "If we wanna find 'em, we gotta be quick!"
"Yeah, families maybe go soon?" Petrie guessed.
"Exactly! Probably, they assume we're gone but we ain't!" Cera continued her loud thinking. "I ain't, that is!" she added stressing the 'I' a lot.
Littlefoot rolled his eyes. "Got any better ideas?"
"Yes, of course!" Cera replied, self-assured, ignoring the stinging pain in her back.
"I'm listening..." Littlefoot responded in doubt of getting to hear anything useful.
Spike was wide awake due to the argument and the loud voices in the meantime. He was letting Ducky know that he considered all the quarreling utterly unneccessary.
"It's simple, we just gotta go up there." Cera pointed at the opening in the ceiling that was reachable due to a stairway made of stone that had been created during the cave in.
"Me no need to remind you you not made it yesterday..." Petrie retorted quietly.
"So what? I had to run for my life twice and that injury was fresh... I'm on my full strength again!" she boasted.
"Cera," Littlefoot sighed, "Your injury has gotten worse since then..."
"It is infected badly, yes it is," Ducky chattered.
"How'd you know that?" Petrie wondered amazed.
"I told you about my sister who has stepped into a spiky stone, I did, I did," Ducky narrated. "My
Mommy told me that my sister's foot is infected when it was covered with such yellow-ish stuff like Cera's injury is covered with. It has hurt-ed my sister very much and there is only one leaf that is helping."
"You only told me about it, Ducky," Littlefoot replied.
"I. Am. Fine!" Cera growled.
"If you say so..." Littlefoot said indifferently.
"If you say truth you must show Petrie you can do it!" Petrie shouted angrily.
"Fine!!!" Cera snorted. She was highly aware of the pain though she simply ignored it out of habit.
Just as the moody Threehorn was about to start Ducky interfered.
"Do not do it, Cera! I know how we can escape this place, I do!"
Cera roared at Ducky: "Yes?!?
"Tell us about it it, please," Littlefoot said in a friendly way in contrary of Cera.
"Yeah, me wanna know, too," the little Flyer confirmed.
"Well, Spike must have come in somehow, right?" Ducky spoke up.
"Ahhh... I get you," Littlefoot muttered.
"How'd you know he didn't use the same entrance like we did?!?" Cera shouted madly.
"'Cause entrance only reachable by us Flyers," Petrie responded.
"Spike could lead us the way which he has taken in," Ducky spoke.
"Could you do that, Spike?" Littlefoot asked. The Gang stared at Spike, Cera doubtfully, the others encouraging.
Eventually, Spike nodded and trudged along the path Littlefoot had originally suggested to walk along anyway.
"Are you sure you gonna find the right way?" Cera besieged Spike.
In fact, Spike wasn't completely sure but at least he could smell green food that way hence he would lead Ducky and her friends there. He nodded again.
"Fine!" Cera grumbled.
"Lead the way, Spike!" Littlefoot said encouragingly.
"Yep, yep, yep. Spike is going to lead us," Ducky jabbered in joy.
"We gonna have lots of fun for sure!" Cera mumbled. Nobody really listened to the Threehorn.
The five young dinosaurs started their trip. However, they completely forgot to take along the shiny pebbles...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cera is being her old self again but will she eventually have to admit that there are things even a Threehorn can't fight?

The next chapter will be about Ducky. Maybe reading the last sentence of this chapter will give you a hint ;)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on January 11, 2014, 09:48:51 PM
This chapter was a good addition. :yes It seems to be laying the groundwork for several future plot points.

Cera and her threehorn pride... Something tells me that her infection might end up humbling her before all is said and done.  :(
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on January 11, 2014, 10:59:22 PM
Poor Cera :cry.  That sounds like a wicked abscess.  I hope she can get that taken care of sooner than later.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 12, 2014, 09:41:37 AM
Yeah, sorry to all these Cera fans out there :angel I don't make Cera the one in distress because I hate her, just saying. I actually really like her just like every member of the Gang :) It's a plot point from the Original that I want to pick up, it's just done in a more... extreme way, shall we say. Cera needs to get over her racism and her pride and that I want to achieve by making Cera weak so that she needs help which she obviously won't admit at first... Don't blame me for that :angel
This story follows the basic storyline of the Original movie we all love, and there may be a sequel one day. Won't say more :bolt

Rhombus: Quite true (your first point) :yes

CT: Yeah, she has something like that. Her injury got badly infected.

Thanks for your comments :)

PS: New fic's coming  :exactly
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 18, 2014, 07:01:04 PM
Chapter 30: Looking for food

The five young dinosaurs walked along a comfortably broad path with a high ceiling that was slightly sloping. Spike walked in front of them and carried Ducky on his back. He was followed by Petrie and Littlefoot, Cera being the last. Repeatedly, they stumbled across Stoneteeth having broken off the ceiling. To make the situation worse, they were wet because of water trickling  down from the ceiling and the walls which was with a high probability due to the storm taking place in the previous night. Cera almost fell on her injury as a Stonetooth made the Threehorn trip so that she tumbled to the floor heavily which she commented on with an annoyed snort.
After they had walked along the path for quite a while, Ducky suddenly called.
"Oh no! We forgot to take Littlefoot's shiny stones!"
"So what..." Cera muttered, dulled.
"We must go back to get the stones, yes we must, we must!" Ducky exclaimed in excitement. She hopped around on Spike's back and brandished her skinny arms.
"Me too tired to go back..." Petrie panted, clearly exhausted from the long walk.
"Who needs dumb, ol' stones!?" Cera retorted.
Spike stopped in his trot and gazed at Ducky, sitting on his back.
"The stones are shiny, Cera, yes they are and they are pretty," the little Swimmer babbled.
"So? Don't you wanna see your mum again, eh!?" Cera raged.
"Cera right," Petrie professed.
"But I want to have one, yes I want!" Ducky shouted outragedly.
"And who's gonna carry them all the time, heh? You better don't ask me..."
Everyone was staring at Littlefoot who had tried to avoid getting involved into the argument hitherto.
"Well..." he spoke, "I think we should keep walking towards the exit as well since I'm..." Littlefoot's stomach uttered a rumbling. "Starving!"
"Yeaaaah... Me empty from bottom to the top," Petrie croaked.
Spike nodded in agreement which wasn't necessary at all since his stomach was growling so loud that it echoed from the walls.
"I am hungry too, yep, yep, yep, but I do want to have the stones first, yep, yep, yep!" the little Swimmer whined.
"Without me!" Cera declared determinedly.
"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!" Ducky begged.
"Ducky..." Littlefoot began explaining. It was obvious that Littlefoot didn't like to say what he was
about to say but he had to or they would put down roots. "Try to see it this way..."
"But I want them, yep, yep, yep!" Littlefoot was interrupted by Ducky who had clenched her hands into fists.
"Now do you wanna see ya stupid mommy or not?!?" Cera bellowed furiously.
"I just wanted to..." Littlefoot tried speaking again only to get interrupted by Ducky another time. This time, however, it was due to the Swimmer howling loudly. Spike glared at Cera; the Threehorn could have expressed her point in a more accurate way in his view.
"Yes, you are right," Ducky bawled. "I want my Moooooooo-mmyyyyyyyyy!"
"Don't cry..." Petrie said, feeling uneasy.
"Would you *please* listen?!" Littlefoot shouted, annoyed.
"Go ahead..." Cera sighed.
"Me listening," Petrie announced.
"If we don't find something to munch on soon, we'll starve! On top of that, our folks won't stay at this cursed oasis and the fire forever. Certainly, they're considering us dead or close to being dead because they aren't aware of the exit..."
"Probably... But how'd you know there's green food growing at the end of this damn path?" Cera asked.
"Spike can *sniff* smell it, *sniff* yep, yep, *sniff* yep," Ducky sobbed.
"I believe it when I see it..." Cera growled.
"Great! Lead the way, Spike," Littlefoot told, relieved that the argument had come to an end for the time being.
Spike led the way, sniffing here and there. Littlefoot grabbed Petrie with his tail and placed the Flyer on his back gently.
"Welcome abord!" he chuckled. Petrie thanked Littlefoot.
Cera trotted along disgruntledly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'll see a familiar face in the next chapter :angel and Threehorn is gonna blow up again so no big deal :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on January 25, 2014, 10:29:00 PM
Latin title :smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 31: De tyrannosaurus rex et triceratops

The Sharptooth woke up. Having a terrible headache and hardly being capable of remembering the events of the last day, he looked around. Wherever he looked, he saw death and destruction. Rivers of fire meandered through the region and a disgusting smell made him really sick.
<Where are my devoted Fastbiters?> the Sharptooth wondered. Suddenly, he remembered... They had been caught in the fire. He had escaped by sheer luck but his companions seemed to have been less lucky. He didn't expect to meet any of them again one day. Not that it bothered him at all... The only being he ever felt a connection to had been his brother. Those Fastbiters had only served the purpose of getting rid of the other Great Valleians. He was also able to remember shadowy how he got the headache... A burning tree had crashed down onto him as an earthshake had teared the crumbling wood apart at last.
So what should he be doing now? He had achieved everything though things went a little out of plan. What counted, was that the Longneck was dead because he killed her. A touch of pride flew through his venes. He wasn't hungry either since he had feeded himself at the body of his kill plentifully...
Just then, an idea, as insane as it felt, came to his mind: He seeked to get rid of her son as well which would apply to everyone blocking his way of destruction as well.
Ignoring the pain in his head and smirking evilly, he made his way.

In the next morning, all grown-ups met to talk about further courses of action. Up to debate, was how to free the children, provided they were still kicking, from the cave.
"My dear friends," Grandpa spoke. "We are gathering here to discover a way to free our children."
"If they're still alive..." the old Threehorn sighed sullenly.
"Do you have any ideas or proposes?" Grandpa continued and ignored the Threehorn.
"The Flyers should take off another time to look for possible entrances or signs of the young ones," Mr. Clubtail proposed.
"Yes sir! We'll take off right now if you like," Pterano responded. He was relieved that he hadn't been criticised at all yet.
"Count me in!" Petrie's Mother called. "Somebody has to take care of the little ones though."
"I could take care of them," Ducky's Mother offered.
"That's great, th.."
"What advantage does it do us to look for entrances into the bloody cave again if Pterano's already looked all over there?!" the Threehorn chimed in unasked.
"W-well... I-I might have missed something, t-that is a possibility after all..." Pterano stuttered. 'Never praise the day before the evening!' he thought.
"You're absolutely right Pterano. Probably, he has flown high to have a greater sight but details are a little harder to distinguish from high above so he didn't notice an entrance," Oscar piped up in order to smother the smoldering fire in the approach.
"Is that right, eh?!" Cera's Father bellowed.
Pterano nodded.
"So why didn't ya look close to the ground, eh?!" the Threehorn raged.
"I..."
"If my daughter doesn't make it out of that bloody cave alive, I'm gonna blame YOU!" he roared and made a step towards the startled Flyer.
"You can't blame me for that!" Pterano replied shakily.
"REALLY!?" Cera's Father thundered. "I'm gonna show ya!!!" He threatened Pterano with his mighty horn.
"Mr. Threehorn! Stop it, we won't come to a solution that way," Grandpa shouted annoyed, yet they continued to quarrel. Pterano was clearly in distress.
"You're tiny, weak, pitiful and incompetent!" the old Threehorn screamed in wrath rabidly. "Just gimme a reason not to get rid of ya right now!"
"MR. THREEHORN!!!" Grandpa roared.
"I crucially supported you twice!!!" Pterano shouted, now as furious as the Threehorn himself.
"YOU DIDN'T! THREEHORNS DON'T NEED HELP!!! NEVER!!!"
"CERA WOULD BE DEAD IF I HADN'T ATTACKED THAT FASTBITER AND RESCUED HER!!!"
The Threehorn finally blew his top. He rammed into Pterano and pushed him against the cliff.
"THREEHORN!!!" Grandpa blustered.
"WHAT!?!" the adressed Threehorn snapped.
"Please calm down, I beseech you," he begged.
Begrudgingly, he let go of Pterano who sank to the ground, panting and weak.
"How dare you disturb the children!!!" Mama Flyer screamed, nursing the little Flyers who were weeping  in fear.
"He didn't rescue Cera..." he muttered in a threatening way.
"He did rescue your daughter," Grandma said, calm but resolute. "In addition, he knocked out a Fastbiter that was just about to attack you from behind."
"How'd you know, eh? You were just the appetiser for those beasts before your daughter got what she deserved!"
The crowd panted as Grandpa beated the Threehorn with his tail.
"Tame your tongue, my friend. Otherwise, you may look for Cera on your own," he declared surprisingly calm.
"Humpff!"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Guys..." Oscar sighed, "Now do we want to find the children or not?"
"Yes!" The old Threehorn said and turned to Pterano who got to his feet in the meantime. "Find her or get lost!!!" he roared and escaped before Grandpa could whack him again.
"Threehorns..." Grandpa sighed.
"If you don't work together, we'll never find them," Oscar remarked. "So get a grip."
"WE are capable of talking to each other civilizedly, but not the Threehorn. He always seeks fights,"  Mr. Clubtail explained.
"He is certainly concerned..." Grandpa guessed.
"Basically, his purposes are good, but unfortunately, he keeps failing due to his stubbornness and his pride," Grandma added.
"Could we *please* change our topic?" Mama Swimmer sighed.

Pterano, despite being worn out and battered by the attack of the Threehorn, waddeled to his mate dizzily and confirmed that he was not seriously hurt.
"I can only agree with you, Grandma Longneck," he exclaimed with suppressed anger. "Besides, since a certain has Threehorn badgered me, I won't be available for any search parties, likely."
"Did he hurt you?" the Swimmer questioned.
"Quite... my arm..." he pointed at his right arm that was clearly swollen and scorched at one spot.
"As the brute had rammed me into the rock, this part of my arm has collided with it..." The aged Flyer was hardly capable of cooling down from his anger.
"I'm glad he's stayin' where he is. This Flyer will never find an entrance if he has already tried and failed!" somebody from the crowd called.
Abruptly, Pterano felt like loosing his footing. He looked to the ground, shamefaced.
"No further arguments!" Grandpa shouted a little louder than he had originally intended. "So, Flyer, are you going to build the search party on your own while we consider about bailout plans?" Grandpa asked Mama Flyer.
"Yes, I will do it," the female Flyer responded. "So you're taking care of the young ones, bro," she chuckled as she put the little Flyer kids into the arms of Pterano who was completely stunned.
"Oh-okay! Take care of Uncle Pterano's arm because the wicked, old and stinky Threehorn caused harm on it."
Everyone had to smile upon hearing this.
"You know what to look for, don't you?" Grandpa asked the Flyer.
"Yep, I won't resign until I have turned around every  single grain of dust," Petrie's Mother declared determinedly.
After everybody wished her good luck, she took off and flew away...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next one is Gang only; it'll be centered on Cera. :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 02, 2014, 04:11:32 PM
Where are my zealousy reviewers? :unsure:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 32: Cera is withering!

The five young dinosaurs walked along the path for a fair while. It didn't seem to ever end though. Repeatedly, they had to climb more or less big boulders or walk over slippery rubble. The longer their hike took the slower, the weaker and the less careful they got. As Cera who was ranting the most of them eventually slipped on the wet floor, she simply remained lying, not moving any further.
Ducky jerked out of the snooze she had been having on Spike's back, Petrie uttered a scream of dismay, Spike spectated Cera critically and Littlefoot wasn't even bothered to look at Cera nor to turn back to her at all.
"Oh Cera, you can't rest now!" he called, almost begging. "We need to keep going on or we'll starve!!!"
Yet Cera didn't make a move to get up again. She eventually uttered a distraught sigh.
"What wrong with you?" Petrie wondered. "You strong and tough, usually..."
"Look at her wound!" Ducky gasped in fright.
Littlefoot turned around despite his earlier unwillingness and walked to Cera, utterly morose.
"Yikes! That's an ugly sight..." he muttered, starting to show concern about Cera's wellbeing.
Petrie tried to climb Cera's back to get a close look on the injury that had swollen to the size of a melon, being covered by foul-smelling pus. Though the nervous Flyer flinched already when his hands and wings hadn't really made any contact with Cera's skin as if having touched something really hot.
"Cera veeeeery hot today," he squawked, visibly bewildered.
Spike carefully poked Cera into her side; he too recoiled quickly.
Since Ducky couldn't continue to doze anyway, she got up carefully. Slowly but certainly, exhaustion began to overwhelm the little Swimmer, though she wasn't the only one having that problem.
Because of sudden dizziness, she sat down again abruptly. Instead of walking to Cera she crawled. Ducky stood up and leaned against Cera's body. In contrary to everybody else, her hands remained touching the Threehorn's skin since she hadn't had enough strenght to get back to Spike, all of a sudden.
Spike was concentrating. He grabbed Ducky and carefully placed her on Littlefoot's back. In the meanwhile, the Longneck had touched Cera as well drawing the same conclusions as the others: Something was enormously wrong with Cera. Her body was so hot that they could hardly touch it, not to speak of her injury that looked awful. On a sidenote, it clearly wasn't in Cera's nature to resign. Cera wasn't the only one of their group having trouble... Ducky seemed to loose strength and Petrie was merely more than a skeleton. Littlefoot had to push himself and the others as well to keep going. Spike's only motivation was the possible food at the end of the path... if there was an end at all.
A wail sounded. "My tummy hurts so much!" Ducky whined.
Petrie gestured towards Spike; the Spiketail understood. He grabbed the Flyer and placed him on Littlefoot's back right next to Ducky. Petrie put his right wing around the sobbing Swimmer.
"My tummy hurt too, Ducky," he said.
"So does mine," Littlefoot declared and sighed. "Therefore, we must keep going or we'll starve to death!"
"I do not want to starve, nope, nope, nope!" Ducky bawled.
"Me no wanna starve too!" Petrie said and tightened his wing around Ducky.
Spike tried to add something but the sounds got stuck in his throat thus he just merely nodded.
"Fine, let's go!" Littlefoot exclaimed.
"But what about Cera?" Petrie croaked. "We leave her alone? A-all a-alone???"
"Well..."
"Hey, don't worry 'bout me! I'll cope just fine!" Cera mumbled indistinctly.
"But we no can leave you behind!" Petrie replied.
"Hey! How about this..." Littlefoot announced.
"I listen..." Cera muttered.
"I see... Spike and I go along the path further, getting some food for you whereas Ducky and Petrie will stay with you, Cera, so you aren't all alone."
"Now I feel muuuuuuch better, thanks!" Cera groaned.
"Sound like good plan to me," Petrie stated.
"Okay," Ducky sobbed.
Spike nodded in agreement and washed Littlefoot's face with his tongue.
"Thank you, Spike!" the Longneck answered, smiling.
Petrie and Ducky climbed from Littlefoot's back and plopped to the ground on the opposite wall from Cera. Ducky weeped into Petrie's shoulder quietly, the Flyer comforting her.
"Seeya!" Littlefoot called. Together with Spike, he walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next chapter is mostly inner dialogue of some of the grown-ups. It's also important what they think after all...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on February 02, 2014, 04:22:29 PM
Poor Cera.  It looks like her injury is finally taking a toll on the poor threehorn.  Resignation is not part of Cera's usual repertoire of emotions...  That is a very worrisome sign. :(

I rather liked this chapter (and the previous ones, now that I have had an opportunity to read them) and I noticed very little in the way of grammar errors.  In fact, the only correction that I would suggest in this chapter would be changing Cera's dialogue from "I listen" to "I am listening...".  I must say that there has been a noticeable improvement in your use of the English language as you have continued this story and started your second one.  :yes

With regards to the lack of reviews, I guess that I didn't notice your updates as fanart and fanfictions were updated and moved this fanfiction off of the "most recent post" indicator.  Since my fanfiction is one of the ones that have been periodically updated, I suppose that I am guilty of contributing to that as well :unsure: .  Rest assured that the lack of reviews on my part over the last few weeks doesn't indicate that I have lost interest in your story.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on February 02, 2014, 04:31:39 PM
Eep, sorry it's been so long since I last left a review! Unlike rhombus, my only excuse is how unobservant I am  :oops

Anyway, good series of chapters here - maybe I'm a bit of a sadist but I like how unrelentingly dire the situation is for the main five. Looks like Threehorn's causing more problems than helping, as per usual  :p Hopefully Petrie's mother can help the gang out, otherwise things are looking pretty grim for them...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 03, 2014, 01:11:59 PM
I guessed you simply missed the updates... No problem :)

Quote
Poor Cera. It looks like her injury is finally taking a toll on the poor threehorn. Resignation is not part of Cera's usual repertoire of emotions... That is a very worrisome sign. sad.gif
Good point.
Quote
I rather liked this chapter (and the previous ones, now that I have had an opportunity to read them) and I noticed very little in the way of grammar errors. In fact, the only correction that I would suggest in this chapter would be changing Cera's dialogue from "I listen" to "I am listening...". I must say that there has been a noticeable improvement in your use of the English language as you have continued this story and started your second one. in-yes.gif
Thanks for the flowers :angel bushwacked helps me to muck 'em out though :exactly
Quote
Anyway, good series of chapters here - maybe I'm a bit of a sadist but I like how unrelentingly dire the situation is for the main five.
Quite :p
Quote
Looks like Threehorn's causing more problems than helping, as per usual dino_tongue.gif
Could not have said that any better :DD
Quote
Hopefully Petrie's mother can help the gang out, otherwise things are looking pretty grim for them...
You'll see soon enough...

Maybe I'll upload another one on Wednesday... If I don't, expect the next update at the weekend :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on February 06, 2014, 11:36:12 PM
I certainly hope Cera gets help soon, along with the others.  Poor girl is probably starting to go into septicemia, though I hope not :unsure:.

Something that is bugging me is that, after their fight, there has been no push to have Littlefoot apologize to Cera what he had said to her and about starting that fight.  Yet, because of her actions in the actual film, people have chastised her character endlessly for not apologizing to Littlefoot after the fact.  I'm sensing a bit of a double-standard going on, and I don't know why Littlefoot has been acting in an uncaring manner toward Cera when he started that fight.  I don't know what you have planned later on in your story, but that is something that has bugged me over the last few chapters :unsure:.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 10, 2014, 04:21:44 PM
Thanks for pointing that out :)

Due to the events in the next 10-15 chapters or so, I just can't include an "apology scene" there. However, I'm just at a point in the story where it'd fit in nicely. So I will write a scene where Littlefoot apologises for his behavior (and maybe Cera could admit some of her faults as well?) However, it might take some time until that very chapter is uploaded.

And you're right. Cera has septicemia. I'm not sure if all the symptoms are correctly described in the chapters yet to be uploaded though. If they aren't, please let me know :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 33: Some thoughts

Mama Flyer overlooked the area from the sky, scouting for entrances into the system of caves -whereby Pterano had failed the previous day. Other than him, she spotted the cave in fairly quickly so she glided down to have a better view. Eventually, she came down next to the cave in and peeped into the hole. She made out a little cavity from which two paths lead away. One of them was blocked and appeared to lead to the cave in that had created the hole at which edge she was standing in the first place. Then, she saw something red on the ground that was too similar to blood to have further doubts.
"The kids were here!" she muttered in excitement and worry at the same time - after all, the blood was there with a reason... At least one of two 'bigger' children must have been hurt but it seemed to have escaped the cave in... Agitated and full of recharged energy, the Flyer made her way to the rest of the herd...

The majority of the herd members were resting, aside from two Rainbowfaces who were exploring both directions along the Big Water. A few trees full of juicy, yummy treestars would be just what the exhausted dinosaurs urgently needed.
However, many, and especially those whose children were in Lands Unknown, were plagued by restlessness that made it almost impossible to sit around doing nothing. The female Swimmer, in particular, was horribly worried about her little girl. She kept having conversations with everyone she met, letting them know how concerned she was, until nobody listened to her whines anymore. Therefore, she went to her little ones - with the exception of Ducky - and tried to console them, sobbing herself. The death of their father was a shocking experience for the little ones and they were missing  their sister sorely, as did their mother.

Pterano tried to make the best out of the situation so he gave his nieces and nephews a lesson in fishing. Nonetheless, the young ones weren't really focused on what was happening around them, hardly paying attention to Pterano's words so that Pterano quickly resigned and attempted to fish a hunger-ceasing meal for his family. His luck, however, was so low that his haul wasn't even ceasing the hardly exististant appetite of his nephews and nieces - he didn't eat anything himself.

The old Threehorn couldn't make peace either. Insidely, his temper was still boiling with fury, grief and worry. He was mad at himself, at Pterano, at the Longneck, at the Sharpteeth, at the earthshake, at the fire... in a word, he was mad at everyone and everything. The mourning teared his heart apart; he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to live without his love and daughters. Of course, there was a chance that Cera was still alive and kicking but his fate would have had to fool him immensely if he ever saw Cera again. After all, it had been trying to throw more and more stones in his way for weeks! He fought the battle between his pride, that wouldn't  allow him to give his sorrow free rein, and his heart being broken. His concern about Cera and, though to a considerably smaller degree, the herd didn't leave him in peace.
In any case, the Threehorn kept his eyes open, seeking for possible attackers and the Flyer... He didn't have to wait long...

Grandma and Grandpa Longneck used the free time to worry about Bron's absence.
"Dear, what has happened to Bron?" Grandma piped up. "He didn't arrive at the oasis..."
"Might have been the best for him..." Grandpa muttered absentmindedly. "I wouldn't wish my worst enemy such a battle!"
"Of course you wouldn't," Grandma affirmed. "Though he would have been a major support," she added with a sigh.
"Yes, he is a skilled fighter," Grandpa said, agreeing with his mate. "Maybe we would have won the battle if we hadn't lost him... Maybe some of the dead would be still alive..."
"That may be but it was his fault, without any doubt!" Grandma shouted. "We tried everything to convince him to stay after all..."
"Now don't judge him worse than he deserves," Grandpa said softly. "I believe that you just let your frustration guide you... which is to be prevented, my dear."
"I have every right to be frustrated!" she snapped, bethinking not much after. "I have lost my daughter yesterday, my grandson is missing and my son in law is who knows where; possibly dead. On top of that, our situation doesn't leave much to be desired. Doesn't that give me the right to be grumpy?"
"Of course, dear," Grandpa soothed the love of his life. "We may have lost a lot, but we're still together!"
"True..." Grandma admitted and rubbed her neck against her mate's.
"We must not lose hope. Never!" Grandpa instructed.
"I know, my love, I know..."
"Hey, is it the Flyer approaching?" Grandpa suddenly called.
It was Mama Flyer indeed. As soon as she had touched down she began to share the news...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope... :p Do you think the adults will find the children or not?

The next chapter will continue the last scene of this one. Also, there will be a scene about Petrie's character :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on February 10, 2014, 11:28:21 PM
So now the parents are about to receive the news that their children have survived the cave in.  It will be interesting to see how they react to this news.  Other than that, I really liked how you portrayed the thoughts of the respective parents.  They seem in character and I can easily visualize each of them reacting in the manner in which you described them in this chapter. :yes I look forward to seeing the continuation of this scene in the next chapter.

So Cera does have septicemia.  :o  Oh that poor girl.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on February 11, 2014, 11:33:49 PM
Quote from: rhombus,Feb 10 2014 on  10:28 PM
So Cera does have septicemia.  :o  Oh that poor girl.
I know, right :cry?  I wonder what healing medicine dinosaurs in the LBT universe would have for that.  Most likely some kind of plant.  I know in our world, you get placed in ICU and juiced up on liquid IV antibiotics.  Scary stuff, and when I went in for my ear infection, I was lucky to go when I did and avoid this altogether :crazy.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 12, 2014, 01:39:07 PM
Thanks rhombus! I hope I will not disappoint you. :smile

Yeah, you were lucky. That is why we should go to the doctor if there's something wrong. I don't think it is too big a spoiler if I say that your assumption is correct, CT :) There will be some kind of plant and I hinted at it in one of the earlier chapters already (probably around 15 - 20).
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 17, 2014, 10:36:17 AM
Chapter 34: New Hope/Petrie's inside

The members of the recently founded herd were gathered around the Flyer quicker than a Sharptooth could possibly open his mouth. Everybody was calling and asking in a mess so that the Threehorn had to stomp his foot to make the crowd fall silent.
"They're alive!" Petrie's Mother panted. "Probably..."
A conjuct cry of jubilation sounded.
"That's great news!" Mama Swimmer sobbed in relief.
"Well done, dear," Grandma praised.
"Well, by the look of it, I indeed missed something really important..." Pterano admitted in shame.
Even though his failure was now official, he was happy about it. After all, it was more important that the kids were save than his pride was.
The Threehorn glanced at Pterano grimly, but he left it at that.
"Well... congrats," he muttered in lack of words.
"Now tell us what exactly you have discovered," Grandpa requested.
"Questions later, please," Grandma amented.
"Alrighty! So... I've spotted this hole in the ceiling of the cave system; the ceiling's totally caved in there!"
"I knew that I failed," Pterano thought.
"I looked into the opening, discovering a tiny hollow with two paths leading away from it from which one was completely blocked."
"I STOOD ON THE OTHER SIDE..." Pterano cursed insidely.
"That's no proof for our children having been there of course... but a spot of blood certainly is!"
The crowd gasped.
"Blood?! Ohhhh noooooooo!" Ducky's Mother called hysterically.
"Does this mean they are...?" Pterano didn't dare to finish this sentence.
"I doubt that," his sister responded. "Otherwise, I would have discovered their bodies."
"What did the spot of blood look like?" Oscar wanted to know.
"Well... it was about the size of a Spiketail footmark, circular... a-and there  aren't any tracks of blood leading away from it." Mama Flyer now remembered details she didn't exactly register when seeing them.
"So that indicates that one of the kids got injured, collapsing. Later, though, it was able to walk away as the injury had closed and stopped bleeding," Oscar explained.
"Which indicates that at least one of the kids is probably still alive, more likely all of them," Grandpa noted.
"Then we need to free them now!" Mr. Clubtail proposed.
"Yeah, but we mustn't do it in a rush," the Threehorn amended.
"That is correct, Mr. Threehorn, we need a plan," Grandpa announced.
"We need to free them NOW!!!" Mama Swimmer screamed in a panic.
"Settle down, my dear," Grandma said gently. "We will rescue the children sooner than you may think right now."
"So who has a plan?" Mr. Clubtail questioned.

Cera soon drifted off whereas Ducky nodded off on Petrie's side. The tiny Flyer was quite worried about many things. On the one hand, he was concerned about Ducky whom he really cared about not only when she, like a few moments ago, cried. Although he was ematiated and worn-out himself, his situation was still better than Ducky's. The Swimmer got increasingly feeble, seemingly. Petrie had concerns for Cera as well, even though the impetuous Threehorn girl was the only member of their group the Flyer didn't quite like. They had become a group, a team somehow although there were disagreements and problems among them. Petrie felt much safer at withstanding adventure after adventure on their way, that would hopefully lead them to their folks soon, along with Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky and Spike. He was born anxious, hence any company was better than being alone, with the exception of the company of a Sharptooth perhabs...
On the other hand, he was annoyed by the fact that he still wasn't capable of flying. His siblings were since an eternity but he wasn't, always being the only one falling out of the nest, being clumsy and having a miserable speech pattern. His siblings had always laughed, only his uncle Pterano was always on his side and trusted him. Petrie missed his siblings, his mother and his uncle nevertheless. Though they were his tiniest worry... What was really bothering him, was the thought of Littlefoot, Cera, Spike and specially Ducky making fun of him for one or another reason. The Flyer was used to it from his siblings but he earnestly hoped that his four friends wouldn't do it as well.
On top of that, Petrie wanted to be useful for the group which he, from his point of view, could only be if being capable of flying. He could spot dangers from the sky and fly ahead to look for the best way. Besides, he would be much faster than on his feet... Moreover, he had in mind to impress Ducky which would prove tricky without doing some skilled maneuvres in the air...
Petrie yawned. Thinking made him all dizzy. Carefully, he placed Ducky, who was still dosing on his side on the ground. The Swimmer curled up and continued to snooze. Petrie curled up himself, drifting off to sleep in a blink of an eye and entered the world of dreams...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope you enjoyed the read :angel

The next chapter is called "Food". Said enough :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on February 17, 2014, 01:35:49 PM
An excellent addition, I really have nothing to add in terms of corrections.  :yes I especially like the way that you portrayed Petrie's thoughts towards the end of the chapter.  In many ways Petire's personality is a complex web of good intentions interwoven with deep personal insecurities.  I like how you showed his feelings on not being able to fly and his lingering fear of ridicule by those whom he loved.  When I was a small child I was beset by a number of developmental delays (on account of autism and being born premature) and I was faced with a similar web of insecurities.  I suppose that is why I related to Petrie's plight in the first film. :yes I think that you have captured the inner turmoil that comes with that quite well.

Quote
The next chapter is called "Food". Said enough

What a coincidence!  The next chapter in my story is called "hunger". :DD  I hope that your version of the gang soon finds some green food, because in my story...  Well, you know.  :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 17, 2014, 02:10:14 PM
Haha, yes I know :lol

I'm happy that you liked the way I described Petrie's inner mess :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 20, 2014, 05:59:40 PM
Chapter 35: Food!

The grown-ups had agreed on a plan after debating for a long time: The female Flyer would lead the herd to the place where she had discovered signs for their children still being alive. They would discuss everything else once they would have arrived at their destination. They would have to walk for a whole day at least though since the way through the oasis was obviously blocked on the one hand so they had circumnavigate the cliff that continued for a fair distance, and since there was simply no path leading up to the plateau on the other hand, the way to go would be even longer.
The herd set out on their way.

Littlefoot and Spike slowly but progressively made headway. The path was very long and their legs became heavier with every step, but Spike having an extremely good sense of smell could smell fresh air, as did Littlefoot. Spike could even smell food so they urged each other on until they saw the end of the path.
Spike uttered an elated cry and stormed towards the exit as if he hadn't been so exhausted all the time. Littlefoot rejoiced as well though he couldn't take on Spike's incredible speed.
As the little Longneck eventually caught up with Spike at the exit, he was out of breath. It was already getting dark outside; the first lights on the sky began to sparkle. Littlefoot scanned the surrounding area. He looked upon a deserted landscape - there were hardly any plants. Those there were withered. To his right, he could spot the Big Water some distance away, to his left, the remains of the wonderful sunset in contrast to the dismal landscape. The Longneck turned around and looked upon the steep wall of solid rock. "That ought to be the other side of the oasis..." He looked into the extensive wasteland again. "So... here is... was the Great Valley..."
There was the loud sound of chewing; Spike had started to munch on a farn.
Food. Littlefoot had totally forgotten it in his euphoria.
Feeling his hunger more than ever before, he started to pluck the leaves from a bush. Though they didn't taste as good as the leaves he was used to eating in the Great Valley by far, they were quite edible and satisfied his hunger.
They ate a fair while until their stomachs were filled. They would need some more of those feasts to regain their full strength.
Spike poked Littlefoot who had just been about to get some rest.
"Oww, what is it, Spike?" the Longneck muttered sleepily.
Spike pointed at the food and then at the cave's entrance.
"Of course..." Littlefoot exclaimed and got up again. "We... I completely forgot Cera! Ducky and Petrie as well..." he sighed. "Spike listen. I'll gather some green stuff and you'll carry it, agreed?"
"Hmm Mmh," Spike answered.
"Alright, follow me," Littlefoot told.
The two dinosaurs gathered all sorts of green food they could find. A huge farn served as support. Littlefoot bundled leaves, more farns, grass and even some berries onto the back of the young Spiketail.
They walked back to their friends as soon as they considered they had gathered enough food for everyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, short chapter, I know :angel The chapters I'm currently working at will be longer. I'm trying to reach at least 1000 words per chapter (this one having around 500 only).

Thought I'd try to get back to uploading twice a week since I've recovered from my little motivation and creativy crisis :p

The next couple chapters will be about Ducky a lot...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on February 20, 2014, 10:07:34 PM
Finally, the gang has found food.  Or, at least, Spike and Littlefoot have.  Also it looks like the adults are finally en route to the missing children.  Hopefully Cera gets some help soon...

The only problems that I noticed were a few issues with sentence structure, where a few sentences could be separated out into a few shorter sentences in order to make it flow better.

Quote
They would discuss everything else once they would have arrived at their destination.

This should be rewritten to omit "would have".

Quote
They would have to walk for a whole day at least though since the way through the oasis was obviously blocked on the one hand so they had circumnavigate the cliff that continued for a fair distance, and since there was simply no path leading up to the plateau on the other hand, the way to go would be even longer.

This should probably be rewritten in order to make the sentence easier to follow.  This could be done by separating the first portion of your sentence into a separate sentence and making a few minor modifications to the second part:

"They would have to walk for at least one day since the way through the oasis was obviously blocked.  So they would have to circumnavigate the cliff that continued for a fair distance, and since there was simply no path leading up to the plateau on the other hand, the way to go would be even longer.

Quote
The path was very long and their legs became heavier with every step, but Spike having an extremely good sense of smell could smell fresh air, as did Littlefoot. Spike could even smell food so they urged each other on until they saw the end of the path.

This sentence was a bit hard to follow.  Perhaps it could be broken up slightly and rearranged.  Although my proposal is still a bit blocky, perhaps this would flow a bit better:

"The path was very long and their legs became heavier with every step; but Spike, having an extremely good sense of smell, could smell fresh air.  After some time, so did Littlefoot.  Spike could even smell food, so they urged each other on until they saw the end of the path."

Overall, a good chapter.  I look forward to see how this develops.  :yes Even though Spike and Littlefoot have collected enough food I worry that Cera might not be able to keep it down.  :unsure:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: vonboy on February 20, 2014, 11:37:25 PM
I really haven't been following this story I don't even remember where I had stopped, sicne I'd read a couple off chapters here and there and missed big hoes in between, but I read through the few most recent chapters.

You're writing is definitely getting better, Ducky! Are you still needing to get help with translating this to English, or are you going it by yourself now?

It's great that the Gang has been able to stay together, and work together this whole time. I remember in some random chapters, them having to go through some great hardships. Family members dieing, mourning, grieving, hunger, hopelessness, coping. All kinds of things.

I'm probably gonna just have to reread this story from the beginning to really get it, but I really wanna write out the second part of my own little story tonight.

Keep it up, ducky! :yes

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 21, 2014, 09:55:55 AM
Ah, I'm very happy that you're still following :smile

I am writing this in English since the mid of chapter 37 (written in September I guess :angel) and doing fairly good at it I guess :p

They are indeed going through some hardships, and many to follow... yes, I'm evil :p Seriously, they have to go through some hardships in the Original so they'll have to in my fic as well :exactly

Thanks for the review!!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 25, 2014, 07:22:44 PM
Somehow, I missed your review, rhombus :oops

The trouble with the long sentences is that, in German, they are actually more common and wanted than in english language so I sometimes have to cut the sentences which I sometimes forget or fail to notice :p
Thanks again :) I will return that favor tomorrow when my review to your new installment will be done :exactly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 36: What's the matter with Ducky?

The grown-ups had wandered off, immediately walking along the way around the cliff in a rather moderate speed. They were even too exhausted to think about increasing their speed. Moreover, many were still struggling with their injuries. Mama Flyer lead the way.

It was already night when the mixed herd finally discovered a suitable place to spend the night and drifted off to sleep...

Ducky was awake for quite some time already. The nagging hunger and the fear kept her eyes open. The Swimmer was thirsty as well, so thirsty in fact that she didn't produce any tears at weeping. A feeling that she didn't know had taken possesion of her. Hopelessness. She began to lose hope, slowly but surely. On top of that, she couldn't fend off all the feelings and thoughts haunting her. Tightly wrapping her arms around her knees, she leaned on the wall and cried silently. Usually, she would be ashamed for crying like a hatchling at the very least but she was indifferent now.
Ducky didn't know how long she had sat there like that awaiting the end but at some point she decided to lie down, hoping to be able to fall asleep and maybe waking up again...

When Littlefoot and Spike eventually had arrived at their friends, they noticed that Cera, Ducky and Petrie were sound asleep which wasn't strange at all, considering that it had to be the middle of the night.
Spike especially would have prefered to join them but due to the fact that their friends were barely more than skin and bones Littlefoot had decided that they needed the food asap prior to arriving at the place they were resting at.
"Let's wake 'em up, shall we Spike," Littlefoot suggested.
Spike nodded and trailed to Ducky and Petrie while Littlefoot woke up Cera. That was, he tried to...
Spike was luckier than Littlefoot at first. Petrie was fast awake as Spike licked all over the Flyer's body but Ducky remained unmoving. The Spiketail poked the Swimmer girl without whom he would be likely dead now unsuccessfully. While Littlefoot roused Cera with an unorthodox method - he opened her eyelids, Spike uttered a concerned sound.
Littlefoot gazed to Spike and observed that Ducky was still inert.
Petrie was baffled.
"What wrong?"
Cera didn't even take the effort of getting up.
"Ducky, wake up! Ducky!" Littlefoot shouted and tried to waken her ungently. Without success.
Petrie had realised what was going on so he waddled to his friend.
"Ducky, you no be dead, no be dead, please!" he entreated, grabbed Ducky's fists and pulled her body into a straight posture.
"I am not dead, no, no, no..." Ducky mumbled, her eyes still being closed.
Spike performed a dance of joy, Petrie embraced the Swimmer girl tightly.
"Me so happy you not dead too," he stated, relieved.
Littlefoot smiled, visibly relieved as well.
"Congratulation!" Cera called in her usual sarkastic voice.
"Though I will be dead soon, yes I will..." Ducky said.
"You won't! We got green food!" Littlefoot's smile grew bigger and bigger.
"Whoo they made it indeed..." Cera grunted, the fact that Spike had just done a big service to the
group displeasuring her.
"YAAAY! Me already thought me gonna starve," the little Flyer exclaimed elatedly.
Spike simply grinned bashfully and Littlefoot supported Cera at getting up, as much as Cera disliked it.
Ducky was the only one who didn't seem to share the happiness.
"I am not hungry..." she told Petrie quietly as he was about to lead her to the green food that Spike had placed on the ground.
"You not hungry, Ducky?" he croaked unbelievingly and taken aback. "You only bones and skin, you need green stuff to crunch very, very urgently!"
"No thanks..."
Littlefoot and Spike joined the conversation.
"What's the matter, Petrie?" Littlefoot asked as he saw Petrie's expression.
"Ducky no want any green stuff..." he told him and sighed.
"WHAT?!? Ducky, you're starving! You GOTTA eat something!" Littlefoot shouted as unbelievingly as Petrie.
"I do not want to have anything, please leave me alone..." As everyone was uncomprehendingly gazing at her, Cera in particular, the Swimmer added beseechingly.
"Pleeeaaaase..."
"Absolutely not! Me no want more dead dinosaurusses..." Petrie stated determinedly. "We your friends, not your foes..."
"Petrie's right, Ducky. Look... we're always there if you need us..." Littlefoot told calmly.
"Please..." Ducky sobbed.
"Me no understand you, Ducky!" Petrie exclaimed desperately.
"Tell us what's on your mind," Littlefoot pleaded.
"Please..." Petrie supplemented.
All of a sudden, Ducky straightened up and started to howl in a way that even startled Cera being rather bold.
"GO AWAY!!! LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONE!!!" She stormed away.
"Ducky!" Petrie called. He attempted to follow his friend but Littlefoot intervened.
"Give her some time to calm down, Petrie," Littlefoot told him in exhaustion.
"But..." the Flyer objected.
"Let some time pass, please," the Longneck pleaded.
"Okay, but me very concerned..."
"We are as well, Petrie," Littlefoot sighed.
Spike appeared to be rather sad.
"Well, at least you two should eat," Littlefoot proposed. "But leave some for the little one."
"You no want nothing, Littlefoot?" Petrie questioned.
"Spike and I already have eaten our full."
"Ah, me geddit."

While Cera and Petrie were eating discreetly and Spike was settling down with no appetite, Littlefoot analysed Ducky behavior. He couldn't explain to himself why the little one had acted that unlikely; her cries were shut down. The young Longneck yawned. He should better get some rest to be at his full strength the next day. Curling up into his sleeping pose, he drifted off to sleep.
Cera and Petrie imitated him not soon after.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, I hope you don't consider this too depressing :unsure: Sometimes I can get carried away by the emotions that the character's are having since I start to feel what they feel. I try to imagine how they might react...

The next chapter will have the continuation of Ducky's hardships and the grown-ups again. Also, it is that very chapter that I first attempted to write in english language, something that feels so normal nowadays :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on February 25, 2014, 11:04:28 PM
Yikes.  The despair of deep depression has really taken hold of Ducky.  Of course, who can blame her in their current dire predicament?  I hope that she comes to her senses soon, or at least regains them enough to eat some food.  Between her situation and Cera's worsening infection, they are in quite a state.  It will be interesting to see how this develops.  :yes

I didn't find much to correct in terms of grammar.  The only thing that I noticed was that the instance of "sarkastic" should be respelled "sarcastic".  

Overall this is a good, if depressing, chapter.  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 26, 2014, 11:17:16 AM
Thanks :)

Ducky is the emotionally weakest member of the group so it's most reasonable to have her as the one who is having the biggest problem with dealing with all the hardships they have to endure.

Oh... my bad :p It's spelled with a "k" in german. Oh well... :)

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on February 28, 2014, 12:20:34 AM
Ducky's behavior sounds like that of someone who is severely dehydrated; something I see commonly where I live and work :unsure:.  That girl better get her act together and eat something soon :neutral.  At least the plants would give her a source of water.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Dosu2Dinner on March 02, 2014, 01:48:48 PM
Chapters 27 and 28:
OK, I've got round to reading them at last.  :p  Interesting insight to Pterano's though processes there - glad to see he's staying optimistic throughout this whole affair, though that may be a by-product of his ego...who knows?  :confused

What I really like about what you've done here is the insights you give into the minds of the children concerning their companionship with each other, Littlefoot with sibling-like feelings for the rest of them, as well as Cera nursing her pride (not to mention her back, ouch!  :o ) really shows what they may have been thinking during the first film.  :lol It's a good literary technique, I think.

Sorry its been so long, and I'll try to read more when I can.  :p
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on March 04, 2014, 09:12:03 PM
Quote
Ducky's behavior sounds like that of someone who is severely dehydrated; something I see commonly where I live and work unsure.gif. That girl better get her act together and eat something soon dino_neutral.gif. At least the plants would give her a source of water.
It wasn't my intention to have the poor swimmer suffer under dehydration but it coincidentally matches her behavior nevertheless. I actually had in mind that Ducky starts to block everything and everyone off due to her depression which is caused by the disturbing things she had and has to witness, and due to being separated from her family. People in such a depressed state often "lock" themselves and throw the key away... a dangerous move. The loneliness will make it worse and Ducky did realise that as you will see in chapter 37 :)

Quote
Chapters 27 and 28:
OK, I've got round to reading them at last. dino_tongue.gif Interesting insight to Pterano's though processes there - glad to see he's staying optimistic throughout this whole affair, though that may be a by-product of his ego...who knows? dino_confused.gif
Ah, I'm happy that you've been finally able to get back into it. I hope I'm not too fast  :unsure: Yeah... Pterano... I thought he should have a chapter where he is thining about some things. I'm doing way too few thought-based scenes and way too much dialogue :angel
Quote
What I really like about what you've done here is the insights you give into the minds of the children concerning their companionship with each other, Littlefoot with sibling-like feelings for the rest of them, as well as Cera nursing her pride (not to mention her back, ouch! ohmy.gif ) really shows what they may have been thinking during the first film. dino_laugh.gif It's a good literary technique, I think.
Thanks :) Though I wasn't aware of that, hehe :p

Right... here we go... the line amidst the chapter is the very border between where I started to write this in english language.. It means a lot to me so please excuse me if I keep it where it is :angel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 37: Ducky changes her mind at last/ The Search begins

Ducky was fast asleep soon. In the sleep, she was being tormented by terrible sleepstories yet she kept sleeping.
Eventually, she did woke up nevertheless, feeling miserable. At first, she wanted to lay down again to die but then she came up with a better plan. She recalled how hungry she was so she would eat Spike's food; she was also very sad so she would seek the closeness to her friends. Maybe there was  still hope...
During the Swimmer's slow walk back to her friends, she wondered about her curious behaviour not too long ago. The only thought that was circling in her head was... the desire to end it, having given up. But ending it was painful. She had felt it earlier hence she didn't want to die anymore but to live. Moreover, her friends had been awfully worried about her wellbeing. Ducky still had Littlefoot's words in mind.
She soon arrived at her destination where her friends were snoozing in harmony. At first, Ducky decided to munch a few leaves. It felt great to experience the change from gnawing hunger to a blissfully filled tummy, but she was still awfully saddened, having suppressed a desire to cry without really wanting to.
Originally, Ducky had planned to sleep with Spike but she eventually trotted  to Littlefoot. The Longneck was smart and he was likely to find the right words to console her. Besides, he wouldn't accuse her of crying too much which Cera would do with much pleasure. Spike could only lick her and Petrie was mostly the one to hug her anyway.
She nudged her friend carefully, whispering.
"Littlefoot, wake up, please..."
Littlefoot did awoke though he wasn't exactly happy about it.
"Oww, what's the matter? I'm so t..." He stopped at seeing Ducky's facial expression. The young one collapsed and curled up into a snivelling ball.
Littlefoot supported the weeping Swimmer although he would have prefered to be asleep. After a while, the cries and moarns faded away. Ducky fell asleep rather soon, tightly cuddled up with Littlefoot.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Everyone wake up!!!" the voice of the old Threehorn sounded. "We're late so we gotta hurry!"
Some members of the herd looked as if they didn't appreciate being woken up that early, it was merely morning.
"Oh come on guys, we gotta find the children as soon as possible if you don't want them to be dead!"
At that, everyone got up and the herd gathered around the Threehorn and Grandpa Longneck.
"Lead the way, please," Grandpa told Petrie's Mother who raised into the sky at that, leading the way to the opening in the ceiling of the cave. Not that there was any need to do so since everyone could see it very well once they had climbed up a steep path that lead up to the plateau. Having their destination in sight, they hurried to get there.
While she was walking, still plagued by the pain of her many injuries that likely wouldn’t ever heal fully, Grandma Longneck overviewed the area several times, hoping to see Bron, but she was being disappointed. Bron was nowhere to be seen nor were any other dinosaurs.
Sighing, she walked on. The only hope that was left was Littlefoot. If she lost him, too, she wouldn't know what to do next. She wasn't even sure if she then wanted to live at all. There was no aim in her life but to keep the only member of her family that was probably still alive - not counting her mate.

When the herd arrived at the opening in the ceiling, they gathered around it. Everyone took a look into it, seeing the blood on the ground themselves.
"Well, who'd like to comb through the cave?" Grandma asked the gathered herd members.
"I will!" Pterano confirmed.
"I would but I'm probably too big," Mama Swimmer sighed.
"Of course I'll go down there, but someone must take care of our children for the time that we're gone," Mama Flyer exclaimed.
"Good, more volunteers?" the Threehorn said.
Everybody just shook their heads.
"Fine, I could take care of the young ones," Grandpa offered which made Grandma giggle.
"Dear, are you sure you mean it?" She asked her mate poking him fondly.
"Quite," he replied. "See, I'm going to announce a story telling event for the kids and for everyone who's interested."
"After all that time..." Grandma wowed.
"Yeah..." Grandpa replied simply.
"How long will it take you to search for the kids?" a Spiketail questioned.
"Depends on the size of the cave..." Petrie's Mother sighed.
"We may be back in a bit, whether or not they're in there, but we may be gone for the whole day also..." Pterano added.
"You better hurry..." the Threehorn growled.
"At your service," Pterano replied simply.
"Good Luck!" Grandma sighed. "You'll need it...
With that, the two Flyers  climbed down into the dark cave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next chapter is a little more easy-going. The gang's trying to consider what to do next. It'll soon turn very interesting, I promise you that :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on March 06, 2014, 06:59:59 PM
It is nice to see that Ducky has regained the will to live.  :yes The scene with Littlefoot was a nice touch.  I like how she went to Littlefoot as she thought that he would probably know the right words, but in the end he didn't really have to say anything, he just needed to be there for her.

The only thing that I would mention is a small word sequences issue.  In the first sentence:

Quote
Ducky was fast asleep soon.

It should probably be reworded "Ducky was soon fast asleep."  Other than that I found no issues.

I look forward to seeing how the search for the children develops.   :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on March 07, 2014, 10:09:14 AM
Quote
It is nice to see that Ducky has regained the will to live. in-yes.gif The scene with Littlefoot was a nice touch. I like how she went to Littlefoot as she thought that he would probably know the right words, but in the end he didn't really have to say anything, he just needed to be there for her.
Yes, sometimes actions speak louder than words :) I personally have never been in a situation where I had to comfort a friend but I reckon it wouldn't do any harm to be just there, to listen to their hardships and wait until they feel better.

Thanks for the review :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on March 09, 2014, 11:59:31 PM
I was hoping it's not really depression.  I know from past experience all too well how it feels to battle depression, and it's a royal you-know-what to overcome.  

Littlefoot's response reminds me of a time when a friend of mine went ballistic over a minor disagreement with someone and was talking about going home and blowing themselves away, and I simply responded like he did.  I had no idea until this incident that this friend of mine had bipolar disorder, so that was unnerving.  And you're right, sometimes it's your actions and not words that can make a difference to someone :yes.

I'm glad to see our sweet little swimmer is hanging in there, and hopefully she'll feel better now that she has her belly full and catching some z's :).
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: bushwacked on March 10, 2014, 07:38:05 AM
Another later than late review... I can only hope you forgive me, Mr. Ducky  :angel

Anyway... it looks like things might be starting to look up for the group, now that they've found food and Ducky doesn't just want to sit down and die anymore :p Although with Cera's back injury, things are still pretty dicey for her... hopefully Pterano and Petrie's mum will have some luck in tracking them through the caves  :yes Though why do I have the feeling things won't be that easy...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on March 12, 2014, 07:52:16 PM
CT: Well, I haven't had an opportunity to meet somebody who is suffering of depression yet and I'm happy I haven't... Though if I was faced with that topic, I'd try to offer any help I could possibly give... like Littlefoot :)

BW: Thanks for your review (every review is better than no review at all ;))
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Though why do I have the feeling things won't be that easy...
Well, because your sniffer is good :p Won't tell more since that was already too big a spoiler I suppose :angel

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Chapter 38: What will they do next?

Littlefoot awoke. He quickly realised Ducky was no longer sleeping beside him. More accurately, she was nowhere to be seen at all. Panicked, Littlefoot overviewed the place they had chosen for resting. Cera was still sleeping some steps away from the little Longneck, not making any sounds, and Petrie was snoring, too, but Spike was nowhere to be seen as well... Where were they? Did they leave their group? Littlefoot couldn't believe they did, but there was a slight chance his fear might come true.
Anxiously, he shook Petrie and Cera to awake them. Petrie jerked up and looked confused at first but Cera didn't awoke at all, no matter how many times Littlefoot tried...
"Where Ducky? And where Spike???" Petrie questioned rubbing his eyes.
"Well, if only I knew, Petrie... they disappeared," the Longneck responded uneasily.
"Ducky gone away, 'member?" the Flyer reminded Littlefoot.
"Yeah, but she came back to me eventually and slept by my side," Littlefoot explained.
"Why she gone to you?"
"I dunno. She cried and fell asleep after that."
"Hmm..."
"She seemingly ate the leaves we left for her before she came to me... There ain't any left, see?"
"Me see."
"But where is she now?" Littlefoot racked his brain.
"Spike know the way to food so he and Ducky maybe gone there to eat?"
Littlefoot's eyes widened. "Right, that's probably happened... Ducky woke up, hungry. She woke up Spike since he knows the way and they went away." Littlefoot took a deep breath of relief before continuing. "I wonder though if they bring some food here..."
"That is, if you right," Petrie retorted.
"I'm pretty sure I am. Besides, it was your thought." Littlefoot smiled slightly.
"Yeah, there no reason to leave," Petrie said.
"Right, should we follow them, just to make sure?"
"Petrie trust Ducky, and Spike, too."
Littlefoot's concerns switched to the orange Threehorn that showed first signs of an approaching death. Cera was unusually high-temperatured and her breath was hardly perceptable. On top of that, the injury on her back produced a thick, yellow-ish and funnily smelling liquid and it was heftily swollen.
"Cera is in an alarming state..." Littlefoot eventually mumbled.
"Yeah, she ain't strong anymore."
"I fear she won't make it if we don't find the leaves Ducky talked about..."
"What that noise?" Petrie suddenly piped up.
"If you were quiet, I might be able to tell," Littlefoot joked in an attempt to improve their mood filled with worries and anxiety.
Petrie looked at Littlefoot grinning. They both listened to the noise. It sounded like somebody humming, and Petrie had heard the voice before. Terrible memories flooded his brain but the fact that it was Ducky who uttered the sounds banished them quickly to be replaced with joy.
"It Ducky!" he announced merrily.
"And Spike.." Littlefoot added, relieved.
The two came in sight. When Ducky saw Littlefoot and Petrie, she sprinted towards them, Spike following her, laid-back. The little Swimmer had such a speed that she just knocked Petrie down, and hugged him.
"I am so sorry for everything that I said to you last night!" she cried both of joy and grief. "I do not know what was wrong with me, oh no, no, no."
"Me just glad you not dead or gone away," Petrie replied croaky since Ducky choked him accidently.
"It's alright, Ducky. Losing loved ones is terrible... We all can relate to your situation," Littlefoot said and looked at the group. Everybody nodded, except Cera of course.
"Thanks for bringing us some food, also," he added smiling.
"You are welcome, you are, you are," the Swimmer replied and finally released Petrie only to hug Littlefoot tightly. Spike expressed his appreciation in his own way.
"Group hug!" Petrie announced.
"Oh please, please, please!" Ducky begged.
So they hugged each other until Littlefoot's stomach made a familiar sound.
"I hereby announce: Let's feast!" Littlefoot chuckled.
Spike made a concerned sound pointing to the body that was Cera.
"She is very ill, I'm afraid," Littlefoot explained. "See, I tried to wake her up but it is no use."
"Do you think she will be alright?" Ducky questioned.
"I'm afraid she won't..." Littlefoot sighed. "Let's better eat, we need all food and strength we can get."
"Yeah, me believe me can't do anything to help Cera," Petrie sighed.

They ate their fill silently. Cera still didn't show any signs of consciousness.
"So what will we do now?" Littlefoot eventually spoke up.
"Well, we cannot leave Cera alone, nope, nope, nope. But can we stay here all the time?" Ducky was deep in thoughts.
"Me think we should find grown-ups," Petrie exclaimed.
"Yeah, but we can't leave Cera alone, either..." Littlefoot replied.
"But if we not find grown-ups soon, we never find them, or be finded..."
"That's right. One option is to split up, but I don't like to split up." Littlefoot was torn back and forth.
"Yes, maybe two of us get attacked by Sharptooth and the other two does not know, oh noooo!" Ducky reasoned.
"Petrie no like it either," the Flyer announced.
"Hmm..." Littlefoot considered.
"Cera not been nice to us, me just saying..."
"You are right, Petrie. Cera was especially not nice to Spike!" Ducky answered.
"Yeah... "Littlefoot sighed. "She acts kinda rude and unfriendly."
"So why we can't leave her, heh? We could do well without her," Petrie reasoned.
"Besides, she said that Spike would slow us down... Now she slows us down, yes she does!" Ducky said with slight anger.
"Good point, Ducky," Littlefoot remarked, "But if we leave her on her own, we would act even worse than she did."
"That true, but..." Petrie was saying, but Littlefoot interrupted him.
"I won't leave her, she needs our help."
"But Littlefoot, do not you want to find your grandparents?" Ducky questioned carefully.
"Of course I wanna see them again, but if Cera dies and I didn't do anything, this will haunt me for the rest of my life!"
"Littlefoot and Cera kis..."
"Petrie! This is serious, it is, it is," Ducky shouted in order to prevent the discussion from turning into a quarrel.
"Maybe we find a solution everyone agrees with..." Littlefoot sighed.
"Let us meet halfway," Ducky proposed.
"That mean?" Petrie asked.
"Hmm, how about waiting for a while? Maybe Cera wakes up meanwhile... However, if she doesn't, we go out there and search for these leaves."
"I say yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Ducky expressed.
"Me agree," Petrie said.
"Fine! Let's rest some then," Littlefoot suggested.
Spike didn't need to be told twice. He was already asleep anyway. The others plopped to the ground some distance away and tried to think and talk about happier things...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm trying to upload only once a week since some people are obviously having trouble to keep up (and I'm suffering of writer's block...). I'm not yet decided... I'll eventually figure out a day for regular updates :)

The next chapter is pretty well summarised by its title: Storytelling, investigation and philosophy. :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on March 12, 2014, 09:31:15 PM
And they act out of character again, except for Littlefoot.  Man, I really did not like those three during this scene...about made me want to give them spankings...bad hatchlings :neutral!  

And poor Cera.  Man, I'm feeling like a broken record saying that.  Hopefully that tune will change soon :yes.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on March 13, 2014, 10:07:12 AM
Petrie and Ducky are acting out of character here, sort of. They usually wouldn't have such thoughts about Cera (and especially Petrie's thoughts are kind of mean) but the problem here is that they are in a very tricky situation. On the one hand, they don't want to leave Cera behind, but on the other hand, they want to reunite with the surviving members of their families. Ducky and Petrie are suffering most under this separation so seeing their families again is their priority while Littlefoot (and Spike to a fewer extent since he doesn't have any parents that he could see again) are defending Cera because they prefer to keep the group together. I hope this clears it up a bit  :unsure:

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And poor Cera. Man, I'm feeling like a broken record saying that. Hopefully that tune will change soon in-yes.gif.
I'm not surprised to hear you saying that all the time. And I'm afraid that tune won't change too soon... Well, at least the focus will be taken away from Cera soon. There will be some more powerful chapters than this one in the future I hope.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on March 14, 2014, 12:08:46 AM
The gang is in a tough spot here.  As my personal system of morality could probably best be described as utilitarian, I can appreciate the moral ambiguity of this situation.  :yes  Do you abandon the weakened member in order to promote the survival of the other four?  Or do you help out the one member to the possible detriment of the others? It is true that they are acting a bit out of character, but then again they have been through a different set of experiences and interactions in this story than in the original film.  As a result, their views of one another are somewhat changed from the original storyline, but yet very similar, to the gang that we are used to.  Or at least that is my take on the situation thus far.

I don't really have much to add to this chapter.  I look forward to seeing how this situation resolves itself.  :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on March 23, 2014, 05:43:16 PM
Trying to upload every saturday now. Though it's sunday :p

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Chapter 39: Storytelling, investigation and philosophy

While the Flyers combed through the caves, Grandpa lead the whole group to a suitable place for storytelling. The little ones made themselves comfortable on a big, flat rock that stood out of the monotonous plateau, the grown-ups gathered around that rock in a semi-circle.
Grandma joined her mate to support him like in their younger days.
"Okay, so many listeners?" Grandpa wondered in surprise, he hardly ever had such a big audience listening to what he was telling in his life before and that considering his advanced age!
"I'm glad that so many joined the story telling event," he let them know proudly. "I know a wide variety of stories and those who lived in the Great Valley probably know some of them, especially the tales about the Valley itself." He paused to give his mate the say.
"I suppose those of us who weren't living in the Valley with us don't know them," Grandma smiled warmly.
"Therefore, I suggest to start with the story of the Lone Dinosaur who is said to watch over the Valley and keep bad luck away," Grandpa heralded.
"What do you think?" Grandma questioned pointing at the children.
"Yay!" they cheered and applauded. The grown-ups showed their willingness to hear the story too by nodding eagerly.
"I always thought this Great Valley was only a mystery and didn’t exist," one of the recently joined dinosaurs piped up.
"It did exist but now it's gone just like this cursed oasis..." the Threehorn whined.
"How come?" he asked.
"I will explain this later," Grandpa promised. "Now listen to the tale of the Lone Dinosaur."
He cleared his throat and started storytelling...

Meanwhile, Pterano and his sister had checked the cave in again only to admit that it couldn't be passed anymore. The blood trails were to be seen here and there so they tried to trace back the events during the earthshake that with near certainty was the reason for the cave to collapse.
"They must have been almost hit by the rock slide, one of them was possibly hit by a sharp rock or even a Stonetooth..." Pterano told his sister and mother of his nephews and nieces.
"Yeah, considering the amount of blood on the ground, it could've only been the Longneck or the Threehorn that got hit by an unknown object," Mama Flyer observed.
"Or both..." Pterano muttered.
"But that's unlikely," she retorted. "The one that got injured must've been seriously hurt considering all the blood."
"If you say so..." Pterano sighed. He was still upset about not finding the opening at his first try.
"Wonder what the unfortunate one was struck by..." the female Flyer considered loudly.
"Me too," Pterano replied quickly. He was now viewing the obstacles on the ground hoping to catch any signs of a blood mark that would reveal the object the injured kid was hit by. It didn't take him long until he discovered the blood-smeared Stonetooth that apparently was responsible for the injury of one of the missing children.
"It was a Stonetooth!" Pterano called his sister who came to him instantly. "It probably landed on the unfortunate one's back and got stuck there but the other kid pulled it out."
"Right, we'd better go find them instead of observing unneccessary details," she proposed.
"Yeah, okay!" Pterano sighed frustrated. "There must be a system of paths over there."  The elderly Flyer pointed at the path the Gang had indeed taken.
"What makes you so sure of that it'll be a whole system of paths?" she countered.
"Well, every bloody cave I discovered when I was still young branched into several paths so why wouldn't this one be like that, too?"
"Yeah, this is logical," Mama Flyer admitted.
"Look! There's a small crevice." Pterano glanced at her his face expressing 'told ya!'
"I see, you think we fit through it?"
"Not trying won't help," he joked. "You're thinner than me so you gonna comb through what ever lies behind this crevice."
"I guess so," she merely replied and squeezed past it. "I passed it, here it is not as narrow."
"Good, just go as far as you can, you probably know what to do anyway, right sis?"
"Sure, seeya bro!"
"Seeya!"
With that Pterano turned around and took the path that would lead him to the Gang eventually...

Littlefoot, Petrie and Ducky tried to keep back their many worries, Cera's wellbeing being just one of them. Eventually, Littlefoot suggested to get to know each other better. They talked about their families and their life before everything they knew got destroyed for good, talked about their time between the doom of their home and the arrival at the now also destroyed oasis including the time they spent under the ash cloud and about just anything they could think of. But eventually, they didn't have anything to talk about so the worries came back to them.
"I would like to ask you something..." Ducky piped up shyly.
"Go ahead," Littlefoot answered.
"Well, I-I thought a lot about... where our loved ones go when... it's time for them to pass on..." Ducky tried to fight back the tears that were about to flow down her cheeks, she needed to remain sturdy, for the time being, that was.
"I remember a story my Grandpa told me when I was still a hatchling," Littlefoot responded. He didn't like the direction the conversation took but he just couldn't refuse to try helping the Swimmer girl.
"When a dinosaur dies, he leaves his body behind but his spirit continues to exist. He becomes one of the many blinky lights we see every night but only those who are connected to them by heart will see them. My Grandpa told me that he could still sorta talk to his parents for a few years until they finally moved on to a place nobody knows of. Maybe they reincarnate, but nobody knows it. I just do know that my mother watches me from up there. I do miss her terribly, but I know that she's in my heart and therefore always with me. That's what he told me at least..."
"That was a cool story, it was, it was," Ducky sobbed slightly, still fighting a silent battle against the tears.
"Me no know that," Petrie replied, speechless.
"Do you believe this? That our folks are still watching us from up there?" Littlefoot questioned them.
"Petrie not sure..." the Flyer responded elusively.
"I do not know whether I believe this but I wish it was true, I do, I do," Ducky answered.
"We could try to talk to them this night," Littlefoot proposed.
"YEAH! Can we do it, pleeaase?" Ducky begged making a puppy face.
"Me think me will go, too," Petrie spoke.
"Then it's a deal, we'll need to get some food anyway."
That being set, they took a little nap and soon the day was almost over...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The actual storytelling will be the main plot of chapter 40 :) No Gang though.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on March 25, 2014, 12:54:11 AM
This is a lovely addition, as always.  :yes  There were no major errors that I can see and I have very little to say plot-wise, except for the last scene.

My goodness.  :blink: It seems that the thoughts of the gang have finally turned to the subject of death and what comes after.  Not an unreasonable jump, considering their dire circumstances at the moment.  Especially poor Cera.  Littlefoot's elaboration of what he heard about the afterlife was quite touching, and it doesn't technically contradict canon, as we have seen Littlefoot look up at a particular star in the fifth film when mentioning his mother.   :yes  This is easily one of the most touching scenes of the story thus far, and that is saying a lot.  :)

I look forward to seeing what story Grandpa Longneck tells the little ones.  :yes He has quite an audience this time.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on March 29, 2014, 06:56:12 PM
I'm glad you liked it :smile There will be more scenes about that subject in the future... eventually ;)

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Chapter 40: The tale about the Great Valley

The crowd applauded after Grandpa had finished narrating the tale of the Lone Dinosaur.
"Thank you," he said and nodded to a few individuals. "Should I continue with the story about the Great Valley?"
"Grandpa will tell it from the view of a certain group of Great Valleians; some had already been there and some decided to stay there after we arrived," Grandma added.
Everyone seemed interested, even those Great Valleians that had heard this story several times before.
"Well, everything started when the land began to dry up," Grandpa began. "Watering holes and vegetation became rarer and rarer and it became more difficult to satisfy our hunger and thirst. Back then, we didn't do much together, we just lived separately - every herd, every kind for its own. As you can see, we stick together nowadays, especially in times like this. This story is about how we discovered the Great Valley, together. We heard rumors about a place still lush and green that was said to be safe from Sharpteeth."
"Was it really safe? I mean, those creatures always find a way in sooner or later, don't they?" a Swimmer questioned.
"It was, almost..." Grandpa replied.   
"You'll hear more about it later," Grandma promised, blinking to Grandpa.
"That is right. Anyhow, many families decided to migrate, each on their own for the time being," Grandpa continued. "Though very soon, Sharpteeth began to stalk us, taking away the weakest of us. Because of that, we eventually formed a mixed herd for the sake of safety in numbers, like we did just yesterday. From that day on, we ate and drank together, fought together if a Sharptooth threatened our children and we made decisions, together. Though the Great Valley was just a mystery, we followed the Bright Circle to where it touches the ground. Since we couldn't avoid having contact with  the other dinosaur kinds, some individuals started to befriend dinosaurs of other kinds. We got to know each other better and this was the key to our success. After a long, long time of travelling, one of our Flyers spotted the Great Valley. We settled there and the bonds between the different kinds endured. Together with some residents, we eventually developed a true community." Grandpa cleared his throat before continuing. "One day though, about one Cold Time after we had arrived at the Great Valley, two huge Sharpteeth somehow climbed the so called Great Wall and sneaked in."
Some individuals and the kids gasped.
"Don't worry little ones, nobody died back then," Grandma assured them.
"'Cept one of those raptors..." the Threehorn grunted.
"SSSSSHHHH! Do not spoil everything!" a Domehead scolded.
"I continue..." Grandpa interrupted. "Of course they had been spotted fairly quick; everyone gathered at the Rock Circle where we would meet whenever there is a problem to be solved, or a decision to be made. As a group, our chances to drive those Sharpteeth out of our Valley with success were fairly high. The Flyers spotted the intruders and we headed towards them and fought them back to where they came from." Grandpa suddenly hesitated to continue. He knew he would hate telling the part that would be next, yet he decided to tell this story. With a sigh, he eventually continued. "When we were close to the Mysterious Beyond - that is, what we used to call everything outside of the Valley - my daughter pushed one of them down an abyss. The one that was left fled off. We know that this very Sharptooth finally took revenge for that by attacking us in the oasis."
"And did he get your daughter?" One of the Swimmer kids questioned shyly.
"Yes... he got her," Grandpa sighed and Grandma came to his side.
A flood of condolences, was the reaction of the crowd.
"Thank you," Grandpa responded, toneless.

He didn't tell more stories after that incident. Instead, he announced everyone may continue to tell their own stories which they did so he had time to think. For some odd reason, he accused himself for not protecting his daughter at the most important moment although he knew that he couldn't have helped her... it would have ended only in unneccessary bloodshed. "This way I protected Grandma at least," he reasoned, which made him feel much better. He should be grateful for the things he still had and not complain about those he couldn't save. He just hoped Littlefoot was indeed all right and not hurt... He joined the audience listening to the ones speaking...

Petrie's Mother soon arrived at a spot where three paths were separating.
"I should've suspected I would encounter something like that," she cursed, Pterano's words in her head. Sighing, she took the rightmost of them.

Pterano was walking along the path until he too had to decide between two divergent paths. "Told ya!" he said, gritting his teeth. He took the one that was less narrow. What he didn't know, was that the Gang took the narrower path...



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The next chapter will deal with the Gang mainly. Won't reveal who is in the focus until next Saturday :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on April 01, 2014, 12:28:03 AM
A nice addition as always. :)  I can easily imagine why Grandpa would lose the desire to tell tales after recounting the death of his daughter.  It will be interesting to see how the gang is faring while all this is going on with the adults.  :yes

I only noticed a few minor things:

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"Watering holes and vegetation became rarer and rarer and it became more difficult to satisfy our hunger and thirst. Back then, we didn't do much together, we just lived simultaneously - every herd, every kind for its own. As you can see, we stick together nowadays, especially in times like this. This story is about how we found the Great Valley, together."

"We just lived separately - every herd, every kind for its own." would be a better fit here.

Quote
Petrie's Mother soon arrived at a spot where three paths were separating.

"where three paths separated." would be the right word here.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on April 06, 2014, 05:23:13 AM
Thanks for the review :)

Even though I'm one day too late, you will now get to see how the kids are faring :yes

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Chapter 41: Cera's last words???

"Should we try to wake up Cera again?" Littlefoot eventually asked after everyone had rested to be at their optimum strength.
"Oh yes, yes, yes! Maybe she wants to join us?" Ducky chirped.
"Me no do it; Cera no like it!" Petrie said, remembering the last time he did wake her up.
"I'll do it, okay?" Littlefoot exclaimed and walked to the sleeping Threehorn. After they had tried shaking her, he sighed and opened Cera's eyelids. First, he talked to the Threehorn softly, then a little louder. Eventually, Ducky uttered a shrill scream as if just having noticed a Sharptooth approaching her. Cera stirred slightly in her sleep.
"Cera?" Littlefoot tested her level of consciousness.
"Hmm?" the Threehorn hummed back, not opening her eyes.
"How are you?" Littlefoot questioned. He didn't try to hide his concern.
"Stupid question..." Cera replied weakly. "I'm gonna die."
Ducky whispered something into Spike's ears who nodded at Ducky's words.
"You won't! We're gonna get you outta here... somehow!" Littlefoot promised, though he didn't have a particular idea on how to do that at present.
"Just... leave me behind. I don't deserve your attention..." Cera whispered.
"Everybody makes mistakes, Cera," Littlefoot explained. "It's never too late to admit one's fault."
"If that was meant to be an apology, I accept it, I do," Ducky said.
Spike stared at Cera for a while. He reconsidered how badly Cera treated him, and everybody else at that. His face looked forgiving, but not absolutely trusting.
Cera didn't answer. She had fallen unconscious again.   
"I believe Cera will not join us, nope, nope, nope," Ducky admitted unhappily.
"Me think so too," Petrie agreed.
"Well, we won't achieve anything by waiting so let's go to the green food," Littlefoot suggested.
Seemingly, Spike appreciated that idea highly; he didn't feel well being in company of the dead-looking Threehorn lying in the corner of the small cave.
"But Littlefoot..." Ducky piped up. "We cannot leave Cera alone, oh no, no, no! What if something... bad happens???" Ducky didn't dare use the term death.
"I'm sorry Ducky; we can't do anything," Littlefoot explained.
"Unless we find leaves," Petrie reminded them.
"But you said... riiiiight..." Ducky was just about to retort to Littlefoot when Petrie came up with his constructive point.
"I doubt we will discover any leaves since Spike and I didn't find any so far, and we walked a fair bit that day we first found the food," Littlefoot stated.
"But you did not know what they look like," the Swimmer reasoned.
"Oh... right," Littlefoot cursed.
"So how they look?" Petrie questioned with his squeaky voice.
"Well, they are thick and very dark-green-ish coloured, they are, and they feel curious when you touch them, yep, yep, yep," Ducky explained in detail. "Oh, and they taste yucky, they do, they do."
"Okay, that should be enough to recognise them if there are growing any." Littlefoot stated.
"Me got it." Petrie squawked.
"Let's go then!" Littlefoot called.
"Yep, yep, yep!"

Petrie's Mother stood at the entrance of the cave that had the shiny stones in it. She was stunned, admiring the beauty in front of her eyes. Step by step, she slowly walked deeper into the cave. After some time, she had to admit that this cave was a dead end so she eventually turned around back to the branching of paths.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...which is not good. Cera, that is.

The next chapter will just continue the plot, mainly. There will be a particular interesting scene with the Grandparents though :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on April 06, 2014, 03:57:24 PM
Poor Cera.  If she has gotten to the point where she is accepting of death then that is certainly not a good sign.  :( But at least they are about to attempt to find plants that should help her.  :yes Although based upon Cera's symptoms, they have better hurry.  :unsure:

I only noticed a few issues in this chapter, and they mainly have to do with word usage.

Quote
"Shall we try to wake up Cera again?" Littlefoot eventually asked after everyone had rested to be on top of their strength.

'Shall' should probably be replaced with 'should' here.  This is not incorrect per se, but it is a bit too formal for Littlefoot.  This is a mistake that I also make from time to time as I have a tendency to write in an overly formal manner.

Quote
"I doubt we will find any leaves since Spike and I didn't find ones so far, and we walked a fair bit at that day we first discovered the food," Littlefoot stated.

'Discovered' should probably be replaced with 'found' here.  Once again, the use of discovered is not incorrect, but it is a bit formal.

It will be interesting to see how this develops.  :yes I am curious to see how the Grandparents factor into future events.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on April 06, 2014, 11:34:24 PM
Poor Cera only seems to be getting worse, though I have a feeling that is all about to change :yes.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on April 13, 2014, 08:15:46 AM
Thanks for the reviews :)

rhombus: Yeah, the only question is: Will they find the curing leaves? :p

CT: Your feeling isn't that wrong. Why would I kill off Cera in a fic that should orientate to the original Land Before Time? :p I should stop spoiling things  :bang

I have edited the previous two chapters very slightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 42: Meanwhile in the evening...

While walking towards the exit, they didn't utter a single word. The thought of Cera passing on was simply horrible for the little ones, even though Cera hadn't acted particularly nice. Finally, after they had stepped out of the cave, Littlefoot spoke up.
"Well, here we are..."
Ducky, Petrie and Spike stared at the Longneck, causing an embarrassing moment.
"Right... we gotta separate into two groups. Who shall go with whom?"
"Can I go with you, Littlefoot?" Ducky asked without her usual enthusiasm.
"Yes, of course!" Littlefoot replied. "Then you two build the other team?" he questioned, addressing  Petrie and Spike.
"Petrie no mind it," Petrie stated.
Spike grunted, which Littlefoot interpreted as similar to Petrie's statement.
"Eat your fill on the way; it might be the last feast in a long while..." Littlefoot suggested.
"Which way will we go, Littlefoot?" Ducky asked.
"The one that leads us back to the Big Water." Littlefoot answered. "That's unless Petrie and Spike wanna take that way..."
"You fine with going along this way, Spike?" Petrie asked the Spiketail, pointing at the way leading away from the Big Water.
Spike didn't reply but walked into the direction Petrie pointed at.
"I believe he says yes, oh yes, yes, yes," Ducky said, smiling a bit.
"Fine! Seeya later!" Littlefoot called.
"See you later." Ducky said, waving goodbye.
"Bye!" Petrie squawked.
They separated into two directions.

Pterano walked a fair distance until he finally encountered something other than just rock. He literally bumped into it, a wall of black rock that blocked Pterano's way.
"Huh?!" Pterano wondered; he didn't quite expect to bump into anything at all. "Alright, no light at all so I couldn't have seen that one coming..." He tried to orientate himself but it was too dark to even recognise the walls. "Considering how dark it is in here, there won't be anything behind that wall but more rock," he talked to himself. A river of fire had blocked an exit leading towards the oasis so he was right, Pterano concluded.
Uttering a sigh, the Flyer turned back to try the other option...

After nobody had any more stories to tell, Littlefoot's Grandparents wandered away from the herd a bit to have a break from all the jabbering.
"I doubt we will ever see our grandson again..." Grandpa sighed, looking upset.
"Don't say such a thing, Grandpa!" Grandma Longneck insisted. "If we want to continue and to keep going the way the Great Circle of Life dictates us, we mustn't allow our emotions to control our perceptions."
"Yeah, you are right but look what is left of our once so big family..." Grandpa responded, deeply depressed.
"I agree; if we aren't able to find Littlefoot or Bron for that matter, we'll be the only ones remaining." Grandma explained.
"Being by far the oldest..." Grandpa muttered.
"Well, at least we still have each other." Grandma reasoned.
"I know, I know..." Grandpa admitted. The two Longnecks sought each others’ bodies for comfort.  Grandma shed a few tears;  Grandpa felt like doing so but just couldn't. Instead, he thought about life.
"Think about Mr. Threehorn's situation; he has lost everything..." Grandma stated. "His wife, his home and his offspring."
"Yeah, I agree. Shall we talk to him?" Grandpa questioned.
"I don't think he'll appreciate it at the moment," Grandma guessed.
"Yeah, it is none of our business after all, technically..." Grandpa replied.
"Let's watch the Great Circle disappearing, it's usually a great sight as you should know." Grandma poked her mate, attempting to smile.
"I agree, you know I like the sight, don't you?" Grandpa poked his mate back.
Together, they walked to a different place where the scenery would be more spectacular.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the next chapter, the search will begin. Besides, Ducky and Littlefoot will have an interesting exchange :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on April 16, 2014, 12:46:39 AM
So the search begins...  I suspect that we will soon find out if the gang can find any assistance for our poor Cera.  It will also be interesting to see the interactions between the members of the two groups as the pairings are not the usual suspects.  We have also gotten to see the melancholy of the grandparents in a more direct way than we have seen in quite some time.  Grandma's advice is quite apt, I must agree.  It would generally be unwise to cheer up Mr. Threehorn, especially in a situation like this where he believe that he has lost everything.   :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on April 19, 2014, 05:02:45 PM
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I suspect that we will soon find out if the gang can find any assistance for our poor Cera
Yeah... though the question is how? If they find anything at all  :unsure:
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It will also be interesting to see the interactions between the members of the two groups as the pairings are not the usual suspects
True :p As you will see reading the chapter that I'm uploading by this update, I have put my focus on Littlefoot-Ducky.
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We have also gotten to see the melancholy of the grandparents in a more direct way than we have seen in quite some time. Grandma's advice is quite apt, I must agree. It would generally be unwise to cheer up Mr. Threehorn, especially in a situation like this where he believe that he has lost everything. in-yes.gif
True too. Glad you enjoyed my update.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 43: In search of the cure

Spike and Petrie sitting on the Spiketail's back walked some distance before they decided to have a break for eating their fill. So far, neither of them had discovered any of the leaves Ducky had described.
After a while, they continued to search for them.

Littlefoot and Ducky soon came to a halt in order to eat some green food. However, since concerns about Cera's wellbeing spoiled their appetite, they didn't eat as much as they should've done in order to regain their full strength.
When they were walking along the little vegetated area, Ducky eventually broke the silence that had been a result of their concerns regarding Cera.
"Littlefoot?"
"Yes Ducky? What is it?"
"I still do not understand how you could have left Cera alone, no, no, no." Ducky wasn't disappointed though her no, no, no sounded somewhat disappointed. "What, if she wakes up all alone?"
"Ducky, I'm confident she won't ever open her eyes again..." Littlefoot explained.
"I know, therefore we search for these leaves, right?"
"Sure, but I'm afraid it'll be too late to save Cera..."
"Do not say that! What makes you so confident anyway, heh?"
"I... Ducky, please..."
"Tell me the truth, Littlefoot. Please... I know you are thinking that I cannot endure the truth but I can."
"Are you sure, Ducky?" Littlefoot was kind of worried about Ducky's sudden robustness of mind.
"I am, Littlefoot, I do know the truth already... I know that she is about to die, just like our parents did. Is it that what makes you so confident?"
"Yes, Ducky. I... in the night where the storm was raging, I dreamed about my mother and... she died in this sleepstory. Just before she closed her eyes forever, she sounded exactly the way Cera did..."
"Are you afraid of seeing her die?" Ducky asked ruder than she intended to.
"'Course not, Ducky! I just don't want to do nothing at all, that's it."
"But at least one of us could have stayed with Cera..."
"Nobody should walk around alone in the Mysterious Beyond, Ducky. Stay in a group."
"Do not remind me of these wisdoms. I know them by heart, I do, I do. But why do we need two groups? I do not understand."
"To be faster... If there are any of these leaves, we're more likely to discover them in time if searching with two teams. See, if we waste too much time, it might be too late to save Cera..."
"Nothing is going to work!" Ducky whined discouragedly.
"I'd have liked to have somebody take care of Cera, Ducky. I considered this; the risk is too high. I'm sorry."
"No, I am sorry because I did not see that you were right, Littlefoot. I did not want to argue, nope, nope, nope."
"We didn't exactly argue, Ducky. We're not Cera after all..."
"Still, I feel sad now."
"Let's just forget about this, okay?"
"But I cannot forget it right now..."
"Ducky, it's really okay. We both had a point of view that we were trying to defend and I'm glad you voiced yours." Littlefoot stopped walking and nuzzled Ducky. Ducky in return gave Littlefoot a short hug.
"Let's go on looking for those leaves."
"Oh yes, we need to hurry, we do, we do!"
With that, they continued their so far fruitless search, in harmony again.

"Spike?" Petrie piped up during the monotonous seeking. "How come you not talk like we others?"
Of course, Spike couldn't reply in a way Petrie would understand. The Spiketail wondered if the Flyer would get messages transmitted by gestures. It was worth a try, Spike figured. He made a scary face that was meant to resemble the Sharpteeth that killed his family. "Ah, me geddit..." Petrie squeeked falling silent again. Spike really wondered why the Flyer made himself comfortable on his back. Couldn't he just fly? He would see a lot more from up there for sure...

Neither Pterano nor his sister found anything of interest. Discouraged, they walked back to their herd to announce the bad news. But Pterano eventually saw a small side path that he hadn't noticed at first. Fresh hope coursed through him and Pterano entered the path, walking along it...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you think? I have focussed on the talk between Ducky and Littlefoot. I hope the other scenes don't seem rushed too much :unsure: I just couldn't think of anything to add...

I'm generally suffering of writer's block lately :bang Hope that's gonna change soon as I have enough free time to get some good progress... but my brain fails me...


In the next chapter, Pterano is going to tell the group what he has discovered thus far, Littlefoot has to make a tough decision and Spike has an interesting suggestion as for what to do. It'll be a 1000+ words chapter and many of the ones to come will be a little longer than you are used to from me... though not much longer :smile That is if I can continue writing soon of course.

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on April 19, 2014, 08:56:53 PM
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What do you think? I have focussed on the talk between Ducky and Littlefoot. I hope the other scenes don't seem rushed too much  :unsure: I just couldn't think of anything to add...

I think that this chapter holds up quite well.  :yes The interactions between Littlefoot and Ducky are certainly believable and in character.  Likewise, the argument between the two works quite well in showing both points of view.  One viewpoint expresses the idea that since her death is probable, they should simply be with her when she passes, whereas the other suggests that they should try to find help until it is too late.  This is reminiscent of sort of discussions that often happen when a loved one is struck by a illness that may be terminal.  There is often the choice between fighting the disease (which may be a prolonged, painful, and fruitless battle) or simply trying to live their remaining months in peace.  Those discussions are never easy and you captured that turmoil very well in this chapter.

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I'm generally suffering of writer's block lately  :bang Hope that's gonna change soon as I have enough free time to get some good progress... but my brain fails me...

I am sorry to hear that.  I have always heard two conflicting points of view on how to deal with writer's block.  One line of reasoning states that you simply have to wait until the impulse to write again returns to you.  The other recommends that you keep on writing in the hope that the plot re-motivates you to think of new ideas.  When I had a rough period in writing my story, I went with the second option and simply continued writing until the motivation returned to me, but everyone is different in what works for them.

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In the next chapter, Pterano is going to tell the group what he has discovered thus far, Littlefoot has to make a tough decision and Spike has an interesting suggestion as for what to do. It'll be a 1000+ words chapter and many of the ones to come will be a little longer than you are used to from me... though not much longer  :smile That is if I can continue writing soon of course.

I look forward to it.   :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on April 20, 2014, 11:31:26 AM
Thanks for reviewing :)

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I think that this chapter holds up quite well. in-yes.gif The interactions between Littlefoot and Ducky are certainly believable and in character. Likewise, the argument between the two works quite well in showing both points of view. One viewpoint expresses the idea that since her death is probable, they should simply be with her when she passes, whereas the other suggests that they should try to find help until it is too late. This is reminiscent of sort of discussions that often happen when a loved one is struck by a illness that may be terminal. There is often the choice between fighting the disease (which may be a prolonged, painful, and fruitless battle) or simply trying to live their remaining months in peace. Those discussions are never easy and you captured that turmoil very well in this chapter.
Yeah, you're right. I was trying to have Littlefoot who considers the chances Cera has (--> pretty much none) and Ducky who tries to fight even though it seems to be for vain, likely. In case of Littlefoot, it's his instinctive responsibility for his group and their aim: To find their parents (there will be another aim added very soon ;)) that is driving him to abandon Cera for the better of the rest of them. A hard but reasonable decision :)
In case of Ducky, her caring and soft side drives her to fight for Cera's life although the threehorn's behavior has been pretty rough and impolite. Besides, she hates injustice and abandoning Cera just feels utterly wrong in her view. Her "angry" side is also present in this chapter though, other then Cera would, she admits when she is wrong :)
Hmm, maybe analysing my own fic helps getting back into it  :idea

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I am sorry to hear that. I have always heard two conflicting points of view on how to deal with writer's block. One line of reasoning states that you simply have to wait until the impulse to write again returns to you. The other recommends that you keep on writing in the hope that the plot re-motivates you to think of new ideas. When I had a rough period in writing my story, I went with the second option and simply continued writing until the motivation returned to me, but everyone is different in what works for them.
Both ways, I have tried during previous periods of struggle as well as recently but it hasn't worked thus far... I'll give it another try later. If it doesn't work, I'll switch to option 1 and try again in a couple days... Luckily, I'm majorly ahead of myself (well, not for much longer :p) so I can keep uploading :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on April 26, 2014, 04:12:42 PM
Writer's Block? What's that? :lol Wrote 3000 words yesterday. Struggled free for the moment at least... and I hope this is going to stay that way when school begins again on Monday  :x

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Chapter 44: Cursed misfortune

Pterano walked along the path when he heard a sound. Skidding to a halt, the Flyer listened carefully. However, there was perfect silence. Slowly, Pterano continued walking, past the little Threehorn girl that was struggling with death...

When Petrie's Mother climbed out of the cave, it was already pretty dark, the last bit of light quickly disappearing in the west.
Immediately, she was bombarded with questions.
"Hey, hey, HEY! Not all at once, please!" she called. "Pterano and I seperated in order to be faster; no, I didn't find the kids; yes, I have found blood."
"Our last hope is Pterano then..." Grandma Longneck sighed...

Pterano eventually stepped out of the cave happy to have found an exit. "What a relief!" he exclaimed. "Either, they have been able to get out of the cave or my sis found them..."
The Flyer looked around; he spotted no sign of the kids at all. Hoping his sister would have found them, he took off.

Neither Ducky and Littlefoot nor Petrie and Spike found any leaves so they eventually turned around and walked all the way back to meet up with the others, hoping the other group would've found the special leaf...

When Pterano arrived at the dinosaur crowd, he was greeted just like his sister.
"QUIET!" Mr. Threehorn bellowed in order to be able to listen to the Flyer.
"Where are the kids!?" he growled.
"You haven't found them either, sis, have ya?" Pterano questioned, receiving a clear no from her.
"Well, they are certainly not in the cave anymore, I have found two exits, one of which is blocked by a fire river that has turned to rock and the other one lead me to the very other side of the mountains we're currently at."
"Does that mean they're alive???" Mama Swimmer called, excited.
"Probably, yes..." Grandpa concluded.
"So they are out there somewhere, all alone, aren't they?" Petrie's Mother asked.
"It seems so..." Grandpa replied.
"Oh my..." the Threehorn gasped in shock. "How big are chances that we will find them?"
"If we send the Flyers on a lookout right when the Bright Circle rises, chances aren't too low I guess," Oscar piped up.
"Why not doing it tonight?" Mr. Clubtail asked.
"Well, would you spot anything in this darkness?" Pterano countered.
"Ehh, right..."
"Then it is settled. The main group might want to move to a more pleasurable place than here though.." Grandpa spoke.
"Yeah, there is some food down there," Pterano told pointing to the direction of the Great Valley.
"We'll move to that green food tomorrow; now you may rest." Grandpa turned to his mate and walked some distance before laying down for sleep...

Eventually, Littlefoot, Ducky, Petrie and Spike met at the exit of the cave again.
"Did you find any leaves, did you?" Ducky asked in worry.
"We no find anything, ohhhhhhh!" Petrie squeaked.
"Damn it! There has to be a way to cure Cera!" Littlefoot whined.
"Oh no, no, no, no, noooooooo!" Ducky exclaimed.
"What we do now?" Petrie questioned.
Spike munched on a farn.
"Oh Spiky, eating will not help Cera, oh no, no, no," Ducky told Spike.
Spike shrugged his shoulders and continued his dinner.
"I'm afraid we can't do anything for Cera," Littlefoot announced, dispirited. "She's lost."
"Nooooooo..." Ducky moaned.
"Uhh ohh..." Petrie said and gulped.
Spike stopped eating. Just now, an awful thought haunted him... Was he guilty of killing Cera? Not directly of course but he did hit her injury, aggravating it in a possibly fateful way. Spike gulped as conspicuous as Petrie.
"We need to continue the search without Cera, as hard, unfair and disgusting as it sounds..." Littlefoot announced after a while. He feared that especially Ducky might react angrily to this decision. Making decisions for others was a thing he never would have chosen if given an alternative but there wasn't one. Neither Ducky, Petrie or Spike could possibly make decisions that would be beneficial for the group since Ducky and Petrie would choose their emotions over rational thinking and Spike couldn't talk at all. Littlefoot considered himself responsible for his friends and he felt that they needed him. He didn't want to disappoint the cheerful but emotionally weak Swimmer, the fretful and easily scared Flyer and the mute and easygoing Spiketail; he would lead them to their parents... or at least to a place where there was enough food and water to survive.
"I-I g-guess s-so..." Ducky said in a shaky voice, a single tear rolled down her cheek before she was able to fight against the desire to cry - this was clearly not the right time to break into tears. She had to stay strong for the time being.
"Me understand we must leave Cera behind but me still feel sad," Petrie spoke in a husky voice.
Spike's facial expression was clearly stating how he felt; bad, worried, guilty and depressed.
"Any suggestions as for what we could do now?" Littlefoot questioned, somewhat clueless.
Ducky and Petrie merely stared at the ground as if deeply depressed which they which they, in fact, were. Spike, however, appeared to be thinking about something.
"You do not know what to do either, do you Spiky?" Ducky questioned, sighing.
Just, when Ducky adressed him, the Spiketail remembered everything... and he knew what they could do now. Uttering his unique range of sounds and emphasising his message with gestures, the Spiketail tried to convey his propose to Ducky. The Swimmer first didn't seem to understand what Spike was trying to tell her but at Spike's second try, Ducky understood her friend's idea.
"Me wonder what Spike saying..." Petrie mumbled to Littlefoot.
"Well, I hope Ducky is able to understand him," Littlefoot answered.
"Hey guys! Spike has an idea, he has, he has," Ducky called in excitement.
"Yes? Tell us about it, please," Littlefoot requested, suppressing his excitement.
"Well, Spike told me that we all have a special light in the sky that is shining brighter than the others. According to him, the loved ones who have passed on are always watching us from up there, they are, they are," Ducky explained.
"So? What your point?" Petrie squeaked.
"It is Spike's point of view, not mine, yep, yep, yep," Ducky chirped.
"Not important, please tell us now because it's getting pretty dark and we need to rest in order to have enough strength to search for our folks tomorrow," Littlefoot said and shrugged her off.
"Alriiiiiiiight! Spike says that we should go to a lonely place and look into the lights in the sky, yep, yep, yep."
"Okay... dunno what this is gonna bring us but we don't have a clue what to do anyway so let's do it!" Littlefoot exclaimed.
"Me not sure but me gonna do it," Petrie replied, being a little startled.
"Yes, yes, yes. Let us do it," Ducky said.
The four young dinosaurs separated and walked a little distance so that they were all alone. Then they plopped to the ground wondering what the lights were going to tell them, if anything at all...

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I am very curious about your opinions, yes I am! :) And I wonder if anybody can guess what is going to happen in the next chapter :p Spike gives you a hint ^^

In the next chapter, (no, I'm not going to give the answer away) ... Ehh, I will only say this: You'll love it! :smile 1500 words btw...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on April 28, 2014, 02:12:34 PM
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Writer's Block? What's that?  :lol Wrote 3000 words yesterday. Struggled free for the moment at least... and I hope this is going to stay that way when school begins again on Monday :x

I am glad to hear that the writer's block has finally lifted.  It is never a pleasant experience to have your creative energies zapped all of a sudden.  :yes

Now on to the chapter itself:

The poor parents...  In fact, poor everyone in this chapter.  The parents now know that blood was found, but none of their children.  The reconnaissance mission of the flyers must continue.

Meanwhile, poor, poor Cera.   :( It seems that Littlefoot has finally decided that the needs of the group must take priority of over the needs of one of its members.  A very valid decision, but a hard one nonetheless.  I am quite amazed that Ducky was able to keep emotionally controlled in this situation, although I suppose that she has known that it may be coming for quite some time.

I only had a few suggestions:

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"I'm afraid we can't do anything for Cera," Littlefoot announced dispirited. "She'll be lost."

Perhaps "She is lost" would work better here.  Often in times of profound grief or the acknowledgment of a death, the present-tense version of the phrase will be used.  Your wording is not technically incorrect, however, it is just a stylistic choice.

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Spike gulped as accurate as Petrie.

Perhaps "Spike gulped as conspicuously as Petrie" would work better here.

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Spike's facial expression was clearly stating how he felt, bad, worried, guilty and depressed.

You should use a colon here.  "Spike's facial expression was clearly stating how he felt: bad, worried, guilty and depressed.

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I am very curious about your opinions, yes I am!  :)  And I wonder if anybody can guess what is going to happen in the next chapter :p Spike gives you a hint ^^

Hmm...  Perhaps they will find the 'night flowers'?  In any case, I guess that I will have to wait until the next chapter to find out.

I look forward to the next installment.  :) Keep up the good work!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on April 28, 2014, 02:48:50 PM
Thanks for your review :)

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I am glad to hear that the writer's block has finally lifted. It is never a pleasant experience to have your creative energies zapped all of a sudden. in-yes.gif
I hope it'll leave me in peace... I will soon be in a situation where I know which way the story will take but I don't know how to fill the space inbetween. Oh well :smile

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The poor parents... In fact, poor everyone in this chapter. The parents now know that blood was found, but none of their children. The reconnaissance mission of the flyers must continue.
Yes, the grown-ups are suffering a lot under the situation... Good thing is that there are members of the herd who are capable of flying :)

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Meanwhile, poor, poor Cera. sad.gif It seems that Littlefoot has finally decided that the needs of the group must take priority of over the needs of one of its members. A very valid decision, but a hard one nonetheless. I am quite amazed that Ducky was able to keep emotionally controlled in this situation, although I suppose that she has known that it may be coming for quite some time.
I agree, poor Cera :( Littlefoot has no other choice than to decide that they must keep going to find their families and abandon Cera, sadly... And Ducky... well, she could have cried if she wanted to but, in this situation, she was strong enough not to. I didn't exactly think about your assumption when I wrote this :p I rather thought that she would do so later when trying to fall asleep. You'll see whether that happens or not soon :)

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I only had a few suggestions:
Thanks for pointing those out :) The chapter wasn't proofread when I uploaded it (well, only proofread by me, that is). For that, four suggestions are quite a good result :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 03, 2014, 03:49:26 PM
This thread exists for over a year now... At my current speed, I'll need years to finish this story :DD

Well, enjoooooooy :smile

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Chapter 45: "Let your heart guide you!"

Littlefoot had chosen to stay close to the cave, just in case someone or something was about to attack him... He sat down, turning his head towards the sky. There weren't any Sky Puffies that could possibly block his view. Littlefoot quickly recalled what Spike, voiced by Ducky, had told him. "Look into the lights..." the Longneck heard himself mumbling. Not being on the look for something in particular, he did look into the lights. Littlefoot decided not to doubt Spike's idea even though it had sounded stupid. The stars wouldn't cure Cera nor would they help them to find their parents after all. Or would they? Littlefoot felt that there was something to be discovered somewhere deep in his heart. Was it really true that his mother was watching him from up there all the time? Just at that moment, a certain light earned the little Longneck's attention since it was twinkling and shining brighter than all the other lights. Littlefoot quickly drew a conclusion.
"Mother?"
He got no reply but he knew it was his mother he was talking to nonetheless, or her spirit.
Littlefoot tried to feel her in his heart. He knew he had to discover a way to talk to his mother.
"Littlefoot..." an all too familiar voice whispered from somewhere above him. Having jerked up a little due to the surprising voice, Littlefoot craned his neck and watched the light twinkle.
"Littlefoot..." the female voice spoke again. Littlefoot saw something sailing down from the sky. Upon a closer look, he realised that a treestar of perfect shape strived towards the ground. As soon as it had touched the ground, a puddle of water appeared in it.
"Dear, sweet Littlefoot..." the voice whispered. Littlefoot, who had been looking at his own reflection in the puddle, jerked back a little.
"M-mother?" Littlefoot asked in disbelief.
"Littlefoot, how are you, my dear, brave boy?"
"H-h-how am I able t-to speak to you, mother? You've been killed, haven't you?"
"Quite, my son. Physically, I may not exist anymore but our spirits are still connected as long as you remember me."
"Oh, I will always remember you, mother."
"Of course you will, my son."
"Well, do you know where Grandma and Grandpa are? I need to find them.."
"I'm sorry, Littlefoot... I don't know."
"B-but I thought you..."
"You are the only dinosaur my spirit can connect to."
"But I NEED to find them... They'll be worried about me, thinking that I'm dead as well... A-and I'm all alone!"
"You are certainly not all alone, my son. You have four young dinosaurs looking up to you. If you hold on together, you'll be stronger than the meanest Sharptooth. Nothing could break you apart."
"Yeah... but we're gonna lose Cera..."
"If you hold on together, nothing could break you apart..."
"I don't understand, mother!"
"But you will, my son, you will."
"By the time I will, Cera'll be dead!"
"Oh don't worry so much, my little one."
"What'll I do now?"
"You will lead your friends to the Land of many Wonders."
"Huh!?"
"There is a legend that says it is just as lush and green as the Great Valley used to be."
"And how am I gonna find it? Do you know where it is?"
"I'll be in your heart, Littlefoot... Let your heart guide you; it whispers... so listen closely."
For some reason, this sentence sounded familiar... too familiar. He knew he had heard it before but where?
"Mother?"
Littlefoot didn't get any  response. The blinky light was gone. The only thing that still reminded him of his mother was the Treestar. Reluctantly at first, he grabbed the leaf and put it on his back. This Treestar was special, it was given to him by his mother so he would keep it safe by all means. Sighing, he continued to look into the stars.

Ducky had chosen a lone boulder in the distance to look into the stars. She totally believed what Spike was saying just some moments ago. Lying on the boulder in a comfortable way, the Swimmer watched the Great Night Circle, then she observed the sky. Though the sky looked just like always, no bright lights were to be seen...
"I believe Spiky but I cannot see what I should see, nope, nope, nope," Ducky mumbled. After some moments of hard thinking, the Swimmer had a possible explanation in mind.
"Hmm.. maybe I need to do something... I have not ever seen a bright light before, nope, nope, nope. Maybe I need to think about my loved ones to be able to speak to them..."
Ducky closed her eyes and thought about her Mommy with all her might. "I miss you, Mama," she thought and opened her eyes. Upon looking into the sky again, there weren't any lights brighter than the others. Just, when she was about to get depressed, she remembered Spike saying that the loved ones are always looking upon her from the sky. "Mommy is still alive. It could not have worked since only dead dinosaurs get their own stars..." Everything made sense at last. "But Daddy is..."
Ducky closed her eyes again and thought about her father, highly focused. As she opened her eyes again, a bright, twinkling light caught her attention immediately.
"It has worked!" she celebrated merrily.
"Can you hear me, daddy?"
"Loud and clearly, my sweet daughter."
"Spike is right, he is, he is!"
"He is a loyal friend, you should stick with him, Ducky."
"I will stick to him, I promise. How do you know Spike?"
"I keep an eye on you whenever I can, you're never really alone, Ducky."
"You are? Why did not I feel you all the time?"
"It's too complicated to explain..."
"I believe it is, yep, yep, yep."
"You don't have to speak to me by the way. If you send a message by your heart, I will understand you as well."
"Why daddy?"
"Because I'm in your heart, little one."
"How can you be in my heart if you are up there? I do not think that this is possible, no, no, no."
"You may be too young to understand my words for now but one day, I promise, you shall get the message."
"But I do not like to wait that long..."
"Maybe something that will always remind you of my words could help you to wait and see?"
"I do not know, daddy..."
"But I do. I'll always be in your heart, my sweet daughter. I hope this little present will help you to remember that."
Suddenly, a shiny stone appeared out of nowhere.
"T-thank you! It is pretty..."
But Ducky's Father was already gone, so was the light.
Ducky squeezed the stone against her chest, the present had made her very happy.
Planning to show the stone to her friends, she walked back to the cave entrance.

Petrie had chosen a place that was close to the vegetation. Though, like Littlefoot and Ducky, he had needed a while to figure out how to find his special light, he eventually did, soon realising that he was talking to his father.
"Petrie..."
"D-d-dad???"
"Petrie... my son."
"H-how me can talk to you? You dead..."
"Well, we're connected by heart, little one."
"Me no understand, dad."
"One day you will."
"One day... me wanna understand now."
"Oh don't worry, Petrie. Though you should be worried about your incapability of flying, you're an easy target..."
"Me know... me just failing everything..."
"You just have to believe in it... Trust yourself, Petrie, and be confident, then you're going to learn it easily."
"Me not so sure..."
"You need to feel it... in your heart."
"Huh?!"
"We're connected by heart, Petrie. Feel it in your heart..."
"Me gonna try, me guess..."
The light was gone.
"Oh, now you gone..." Petrie sighed. Trying to memorise his father's message, Petrie walked back to their meeting point but then he heard something drop to the ground. Petrie turned around to see what it was.
"ME SNUGGLING STICK!!!" he cried out very loudly. The Snuggling Stick was a spindly stick of Petrie's size that Petrie used whenever he felt sad or when he couldn't find rest at night. He grabbed it.
"Thank you, dad. Me love you lots!" Petrie whispered into the night. A star twinkled.
Squeezing his new gained item against his chest, the Flyer wandered back to the cave entrance...

 Spike knew what he had to do. Sitting in the open field, he had a perfect view. In thoughts of his family, Spike closed his eyes and when he opened them again a bright light twinkled on the sky. Spike was happy that he didn't have to speak to communicate.
"Hello everyone..."
"Hello, my son." It was Spike's Mother replying.
"Hello mother, I sure missed you."
"So did I."
"Where is father?"
"Oh, he's bringing your siblings to the nest."
"Ah, right. Mother, you need to do me a favor. Rescue Cera, my threehorned friend, please."
"How could I possibly achieve that, my dear?"
"Well, there is a cure... I know you are only a spirit, only in my heart, but if I wish hard enough to get it I know that I can save Cera from a death I may be responsible for..."
Surprisingly, a pile of leaves appeared in front of Spike. Cera's cure...
"Thank you, Mother..."
"You're welcome."
"My son..." Now Spike's Father was talking.
"Father..."
"Be sure to eat enough!"
"Don't worry, I will."
"Now you better get some rest, my little one."
"Yes, goodnight, I love you!"
"So do we, night!"
The light disappeared. Spike grabbed all the leaves and walked back to the cave; carefully since he didn't want to lose any of those leaves...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you think? :p

In the next chapter, the Gang is going to talk about their experiences and "presents"
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on May 03, 2014, 06:49:17 PM
Interesting.  You went the supernatural route in giving the children assistance.  I must admit that I did not see this development coming.  I suppose part of the reason is because I only hint at possible supernatural elements in my story (the dying mother hearing chirping in the background as she dies, for example) and I leave it up to the reader to deduce if the event is actually supernatural or a hallucination.  There is nothing wrong with the way that you have handled this development, but it is certainly a different angle than what I am used to.   :yes

Now onto the scenes themselves...

The scene with Littlefoot and his mother was quite touching (how could it not be  :yes ) and I think that you kept the two dinosaurs in character.  Likewise, I absolutely love the echoes of the first movie: the giant treestar; "If you hold on together, nothing could break you apart..."; and "I'll be in your heart, Littlefoot... Let your heart guide you; it whispers... so listen closely."

Very nicely done.  :yes

Ducky gets a shiny stone.  How appropriate.  :p

Petrie gets his snuggling stick.  :DD

And Spike gets leaves.  :smile I think it is also a good twist that Spike seems the most receptive to experiencing the supernatural of all of the gang.  It fits with the view of Spike as being unable to understand certain things that others find easy, but at the same time being able to see things that others may be unable to see.  :yes

I also like how in the context of this story, this items that they obtained (the shiny stone, snuggling stick, etc.) will have actual sentimental value to them and will not simply be a sign of greediness (like Ducky's fixation on shiny stones in the TV series) or a sign of needed reassurance (Petrie's love of his snuggling stick).

Overall I feel that this was an excellent chapter.  I especially like how you surprised me with the turn that the plot has taken.  Keep up the good work.  :)

I only noticed a few things:

Quote
Upon a closer look, he realised that a treestar of perfect shape strived towards the ground. As soon as it had touched the ground, a puddle of water appeared in it.

"was falling" would work better here than "strived"

Quote
"Loud and clearly, my sweet daughter."

"Loud and clear"
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 03, 2014, 07:33:15 PM
Haha, I knew you would like it ( btw I so need to review TSH asap  :bang )

Quote
Interesting. You went the supernatural route in giving the children assistance. I must admit that I did not see this development coming. I suppose part of the reason is because I only hint at possible supernatural elements in my story (the dying mother hearing chirping in the background as she dies, for example) and I leave it up to the reader to deduce if the event is actually supernatural or a hallucination. There is nothing wrong with the way that you have handled this development, but it is certainly a different angle than what I am used to. in-yes.gif
I thought a more spiritual approach on the subject of death would be the best choice. You seem to be in agreement with me :)

Quote
The scene with Littlefoot and his mother was quite touching (how could it not be in-yes.gif ) and I think that you kept the two dinosaurs in character. Likewise, I absolutely love the echoes of the first movie: the giant treestar; "If you hold on together, nothing could break you apart..."; and "I'll be in your heart, Littlefoot... Let your heart guide you; it whispers... so listen closely."
It was very funny the write this scene :smile The references to the Original fit so well into this scene that I almost used all that can be used here (if not all).

Quote
Ducky gets a shiny stone. How appropriate. dino_tongue.gif
I know :p She was so sad when she forgot hers in chapter 30 so her daddy gave her one.

Quote
Petrie gets his snuggling stick. dino_happier.gif
Originally, Petrie got nothing but then I happened to watch the episode where his snuggling stick was quite a plot :smile Well, it'll become important a few chapters later...

Quote
And Spike gets leaves. Dino_grins.gif I think it is also a good twist that Spike seems the most receptive to experiencing the supernatural of all of the gang. It fits with the view of Spike as being unable to understand certain things that others find easy, but at the same time being able to see things that others may be unable to see. in-yes.gif
Very true. My own idea was that Spike is the only one who doesn't act selfish in this chapter... The only aim he has in talking to his parents is receiving the leaves to save Cera.

Quote
I also like how in the context of this story, this items that they obtained (the shiny stone, snuggling stick, etc.) will have actual sentimental value to them and will not simply be a sign of greediness (like Ducky's fixation on shiny stones in the TV series) or a sign of needed reassurance (Petrie's love of his snuggling stick).
Again, well observed :)

Quote
Overall I feel that this was an excellent chapter. I especially like how you surprised me with the turn that the plot has taken. Keep up the good work. smile.gif
Yay, the surprised worked :lol: Thanks for the praise, means a lot and keeps me motivated to work on my stories :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on May 05, 2014, 06:11:50 PM
I...really like this chapter :yes!  I love the supernatural elements involved.  Way cool :D.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Nahla on May 05, 2014, 08:35:46 PM
Love it,Ducky.

I love the supernatural thing you got going on.

So Mother will now be guiding Littlefoot? It like the first movie now! Expect the Great Valley is not the goal..

I hope Cera doesn't die,no no no.

Again I love the supernatural thingy ma jiggy,I love supernatural. I use it in my fic (which is pretty darn obvious in mine  :lol)

So sweet how they each got a present from their dead parent (though Spike's was Cera's cure).

I do find you're style a bit 'blocky' meaning each scene is just one block,I normally have a space everytime a new character speaks or talks and use a symbol like ~ or something when I'm changing scene or to a new set of characters, it just makes it a bit easier to read. But yours is not impossible to read,I can read it perfectly fine,it just I prefer the 'spaced style' over the 'block style' but again it's fine,unlike some who have the whole story in one big block..man that kills my eyes. Plus space makes your chapters look longer  :lol.

Overall,keep it up Ducky.You're doing great :exactly
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 11, 2014, 06:42:50 AM
Quote
I...really like this chapter in-yes.gif! I love the supernatural elements involved. Way cool biggrin.gif.
Glad you liked it :)

I'm also glad that you liked it too, Nahla :)

Quote
I do find you're style a bit 'blocky' meaning each scene is just one block,I normally have a space everytime a new character speaks or talks and use a symbol like ~ or something when I'm changing scene or to a new set of characters, it just makes it a bit easier to read. But yours is not impossible to read,I can read it perfectly fine,it just I prefer the 'spaced style' over the 'block style' but again it's fine,unlike some who have the whole story in one big block..man that kills my eyes. Plus space makes your chapters look longer dino_laugh.gif.
Well, I personally prefer the style I'm using :angel It's not because it looks better (the style you suggest does indeed look better) but I get confused when I'm writing in this 'less blocky' style... If it annoys you, you should read my chapters on ff.net because there it is transformed into this 'less blocky' style automatically. I upload every Monday there and I'm about to have caught up with myself (the difference being a few chapters from here...).

This chapter comes a little delayed because I was too tired yesterday :smile Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 46: A spark of hope

Ducky was the first one to arrive back to Littlefoot; Petrie and Spike were in sight already.
"Hello Littlefoot," the little Swimmer girl cheered.
"Hey Ducky..." Littlefoot replied dreamily.
"Lookie what I got from my daddy!" Ducky called out in excitement.
"Huh?!" Littlefoot finally shook off his dreamy state of mind.
"It is beautiful, it is, it is," Ducky explained.
"Yeah... waitaminnit!" Littlefoot called suddenly. "Where did you get it from? Are there more of them out there?!?"
"Oh Littlefoot, I just said that my daddy gave them to me, hehehehehehe!" Ducky snickered.
"Oww, I'm sorry, Ducky. I was thinking about something my m... your daddy gave it to you?"
"Yep, yep, yep, we talked-ed," Ducky replied happily.
"Strange... I've been talking to my mother as well and I got this." Littlefoot pointed at the treestar on his back.
"A treestar? Why do not you eat it up, heh?" Ducky asked.
"Well, this leaf is special.. my mother gave it to me," Littlefoot answered.
"Oh, I see, heheheh," Ducky giggled.
"Wonder what Petrie and Spike got... "Littlefoot thought aloud.
"There! They are almost here, yes they are," Ducky exclaimed, jumping up and down in anticipation.
"Hi!" Petrie squeaked.
Spike greeted Ducky and Littlefoot the usual way... licking their faces.
"Hello Petrie, oh and hello... Spike! Cut it out, heheheh."
"Hi!" Littlefoot said smiling.
"Where you got stone, Ducky?" Petrie questioned.
"Her daddy gave it to her, that's how I come to hold this treestar as well," Littlefoot replied.
"Yes, yes, yes, my daddy said this should help me to remember his words to me, he did," Ducky explained.
"Oh, you talked to your daddy too?" Petrie asked in awe.
"Yep, yep, yep, you too???"
"Yeah, daddy told me things me no understand but me still happy me know now that he still there, somewhere," Petrie said.
"Our parents will always be in our hearts," Littlefoot recalled.
"Yeah," Petrie agreed. "He also gave me my Snuggling Stick..."
"What's a "Snuggling Stick?" Littlefoot snickered.
"It is a stick that is there to be snuggled, silly," Ducky replied cheerfully.
"Me need it when me sad or when me can't sleep."
"Ah, makes sense... sorta," Littlefoot said.
"Spiky, what do you have on your back, heh?" Ducky questioned.
"Look like leaves?" Petrie guessed.
"Hmm, Spike would most likely have eaten them already so they oughtta be special..." Littlefoot considered loudly.
"Spiky, you do not happen to have those leaves that can cure Cera on your back, do you, heh? Heeeeeeeeeeeh?"
Spike nodded, a broad smile was drawn into his face.
"You gotta be kidding!" Littlefoot exclaimed unbelievingly.
"Spiiiiiiike! You are a genius, yes you are!" Ducky called, overjoyed.
"We gonna save you, Cera, just like I promised," Littlefoot mumbled.
"We gotta hurry!" Petrie squawked.
"Oh yes, oh yes!" Ducky approved.
"I agree, let's go!" Littlefoot called.
The four dinosaurs walked into the dark cave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tension is growing ;)

The next chapter will be awfully short due to a very powerful cliffhanger that I just have to use... :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on May 11, 2014, 08:20:19 AM
Oy!  Evil, evil cliffhangers :lol.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on May 11, 2014, 07:14:47 PM
Ah, cliffhangers.  I can't complain though, considering I am very guilty of using evil cliffhangers in my own fanfic.  I hope that Cera can hold on while the gang rush to her aid.  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 17, 2014, 09:11:00 PM
Ugh, writing is so slow again :bang

Well, enjoy "the cliffhanger" :smile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 47: Alive or dead???

Littlefoot, Ducky, Petrie and Spike were having a conversation while quickly walking along the path that would lead them to Cera.
"How did you manage to get those leaves, Spike?" Littlefoot questioned.
Of course Spike wasn't capable of replying in a way Littlefoot would understand.
"You see... I didn't ask my mother to get the treestar, so I wonder if it's been similar for you..."
"Me got lotsa messages me no get and me got Sniggling Stick and me not asked for it," Petrie piped up.
"Hmm, I got my stone to remember my daddy's words, yep, yep, yep," Ducky stated. Though, I didn't ask for it either, nope, nope, nope.
"Did you ask your folks if you could have the leaves for Cera, Spike?" Littlefoot questioned.
The Spiketail nodded eagerly.
"Cera will be pleased to know that..." Littlefoot mused.
"Yeah, she in Spike's debt," Petrie told.
"Yep, yep, yep," Ducky assented.
"What exactly we do with leaves?" Petrie asked.
"Well, I think we need to cover the injury, yep, yep, yep," Ducky answered.
"Okay, and they'll cure the infection?" Littlefoot wondered.
"Yes, that is what they are there for."
"SPIKE! You no eat Littlefoot's treestar!" Petrie called as Spike was about to eat it. "It special!"
"That's right, Spike," Littlefoot said. "You better not eat it."
Spike rolled his eyes and continued to walk.
"We are almost there, we are, we are," Ducky called after a little while.
"Yeah... me wonder though what we do 'till Cera move again, if she do.." Petrie squawked.
"Taking any rest we could get, I think," Littlefoot responded.
"Yep, yep, yep! We need to be well rested-ed," Ducky jabbered.
"You're right, Ducky," Littlefoot stated. "Who knows when we'll find the next friendly place in this wasteland..."
"Or our mamas and daddys..." Ducky added.
"Yeah..." Littlefoot sighed.
"Well, then me know," Petrie replied. "Hey, there Cera!"
"Oh yes, yes, yes. I see her, I do, I do," Ducky called.
Indeed, they arrived at Cera not long after. Cera was still lying on the ground the way they had left her. Uneasyness and anxiety arised.
"Here we are," Littlefoot piped up, gulping. Cera looked pretty dead.
"Is she..." Ducky didn't dare to complete the sentence.
"She can't!" Littlefoot cried. "Is she still breathing?!"
"Me look," Petrie offered. He walked around Cera back to get to her thorax, put his hand onto the spot of Cera's skin where her heart was supposed to be and listened for any signs of life...  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I promise I won't be writing such short chapters ever again :angel

In the next chapter, you will find out what is going on with Cera...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on May 18, 2014, 03:06:00 PM
Urgh... The evil hadrosaur strikes again.   :lol Another cliffhanger.  Hopefully Cera is still in the land of the living...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 24, 2014, 08:10:12 PM
Remember that I'm following the overall plot of the Original... I hope you'll get the message (don't want to spoil anything...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 48: It's too late!

Littlefoot, Ducky and Spike gazed at each other. Anxiety was engraved into their expressions. Ducky cuddled up with Spike.
Petrie felt and heard nothing. Cera not only looked dead, she was dead. Or was it?
"Quiet, me need to listen..." Petrie called.
Littlefoot stopped walking around out of nervousness, Ducky stopped mourning and Spike stopped hyperventilating.
Petrie thought he had heard Cera breath but he wasn't sure. Waiting some more time, he neither noticed Cera's heartbeat nor any signs of breathing. The little Flyer didn't want to give up so early though. He climbed the Threehorn's neckshield and put his wings close to Cera's nostrils. If Cera was still alive - even if she was looking dead, she'd still breath every once in a while. Since her mouth was shut closed, she would breath through her nose if she still did at all. Petrie didn't notice anything too soon but the little Flyer didn't want to give up.
Ducky got increasingly teary-eyed. The tension tore her little heart apart. Spike did his best to prevent his friend from crying out loud but the little Swimmer struggled hard not to.
As Petrie didn't tell them anything, Littlefoot asked him after having nudged Ducky who had begun to sob audibly, still attempting to fight against the tears; a fruitless battle however.
"Hey Petrie, what's going on?" the Longneck spoke quietly.
"Me no think Cera dead but she not breathing.." Petrie responded shakily.
Spike gulped, so did Littlefoot.
"You're testing if there's any breeze, heh?" Littlefoot questioned.
Petrie nodded, concentrated on Cera.
"I hope she isn't... "Littlefoot fought against his watering eyes. "Y'know..."
"Me do what me can," Petrie stated.
"Please do not die... please do not die... please do not die..." Ducky begged, sobbing.
Spike placed his forelegs around Ducky. The Swimmer hugged Spike appreciatively.
"Pleeaaaaaaase..." she cried.
Littlefoot lost the struggle with the tears as well - Ducky's weeping was infectious. Spike began to allow his tears to flow too.
"It's alright, Ducky. I'm here," Littlefoot whispered, fondling the Swimmer both to console Ducky and to get consoled in return.
Petrie began to give up at last.
"Me no think she alive. Cera d-d-deeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaad!" Petrie cried, walking back to his friends.
"Nooooo..." Littlefoot lamented. To make sure Petrie didn't miss something, Littlefoot trotted to the body only to realise that Petrie was right. Cera's body was cold and unmoving.
"How m-many dinos-saurs are g-going t-to d-d-d-die?!? THEY DO NOT D-DESERVE IT!!!" Ducky screamed in wail. She hid under Spike's massive body.
"Me know, Ducky... world unfair!" Petrie sobbed but Ducky didn't hear him.
"I...I'll cover Cera's back nonethel-l-less," Littlefoot spoke in an attempt to stay strong. "Wanna help m-me?" he asked shakily.
"It is no use, Littlefoot..." Ducky bawled. She chose to search for a different place to cry than under Spike where it was unpleasantly warm.
"What shall we do with the leaves then?" Littlefoot countered.
"I do not care, nope, nope, nope!" Ducky shouted, walking away.
"Ducky! Where you going?" Petrie called after his friend, getting no response.
"I t-think she needs some t-time for herself to calm d-down," Littlefoot suggested, as Petrie tried to follow her. He started to cover Cera's back.
Petrie shambled to Spike. Both were crying.
After Littlefoot had covered Cera's whole back (the leaves emitted a gooey juice that made them adhere to her back), he plopped to the ground, not fighting back the grief anymore.

Ducky had walked through the cave blindly, in search for the place she went to when she had run off from the group to be left in peace the last time. The whole way, she was crying bitterly. She needed a while to find the place in the darkness, but eventually she did. Curling into a ball, she moarned about the loss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do not hate me :angel :bolt Everything's gonna be alright...

The next chapter will cover the aftermath of the situation the remainder of the Gang has now to deal with.


NOTE: If my writing won't pick up some speed soon, I'll change my schedule to uploading every two weeks instead of every week.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on May 28, 2014, 03:33:30 PM
I really don't know what to say about the latest development.  :blink:  I am sure the aftermath of what has happened is going to be very difficult for all involved.  I will wait until I see the full implications of what has happened (or, at least, appears to have happened) before making any assumptions.

Quote
NOTE: If my writing won't pick up some speed soon, I'll change my schedule to uploading every two weeks instead of every week.

I am sorry to hear that writer's block has again reared its head.  Writer's block can be a treacherous thing.  Just out of curiosity, are you having writer's block for only this story or is it affecting both of your current fics?  If so, are you planning on moving "Shorty's Dark Past" to a 2 week posting schedule as well?
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on May 29, 2014, 08:43:40 AM
Yes, it's a general writer's block :( Though I just work more on my art lately and I'm more into reading fics than writing lately :angel Well, I'll try to sit down and work on it again as I have 4 days of free time now... The new schedule works for both fics so I'll update only one of them per week... so the update on the Shorty fic comes at Monday :yes My fanart still comes weekly btw :)

As for what happened... yeah, you should definitely wait two chapters or so :smile I can't say more. The aftermath will be subject of the next chapter (and I'm sure you can guess whom it is focussed on with that knowledge ;))

Thanks for the review  :exactly
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on June 07, 2014, 02:48:02 PM
I'm not liking the direction things just took in this latest chapter :neutral.  I know she'll be alright, and we'll have to wait and see what happens.  I wonder if Cera will have a near-death experience, like the ones people are always talking about on TV where they're heading down a tunnel toward a light and run into a deceased loved one who gives them guidance and tells them it's not their time yet before they come back to life.  Maybe her mother and sisters will be the ones who communicate with her, like what happened to the others recently?  I guess we'll just have to wait and see :p.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on June 07, 2014, 07:53:24 PM
Let's just say that you have made some good points :) I feared you would take this hard and dislike the story but seemingly you got my hint.

Now heres the next one, a little sad but it's working towards something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 49: Cluenessless and despair

Spike fell asleep rather soon. Littlefoot, Petrie and Ducky couldn't.
Littlefoot considered what to do next. Cera's death was a tragedy, a setback. Everything would've worked if she had made it. Cera's temperament hadn't left much to be desired, yet Littlefoot was deeply upset. Though he seemed to recover best, along with Spike perhaps. The Longneck had feared another tragedy since he was aware of Ducky's fragile soul. The Swimmer had to go through far too much for a child such young. Littlefoot knew that that applied to him as well but for some reason he could recover after some weeping whereas Ducky couldn't. The memory of the Swimmer's last collapse was still present and Littlefoot knew that she had been suffering from her father's death and from the separation from the rest of her family the whole time, sometimes more, sometimes less. He had a feeling that she would collapse again, this time more severely though. He didn't feel well knowing she was somewhere all alone. She certainly had had some time to recover so maybe he should try talk to her now...
Littlefoot noticed that Petrie was awake as well. The Flyer lay on Spike's back, propping up his head with his skinny arms. He stared holes into the wall, single tears rolling down his beak occasionally.
"Petrie? Are you awake?" Littlefoot asked quietly since Spike was sleeping.
"Me awake..." Petrie responded down-heartedly.
"You alright?" Littlefoot asked compassionately.
"Me no know... me worried 'bout everything," Petrie croaked, wiping his tears out of his face.
"Yeah, I know how you feel... we all thought she'd make it. Everything seemed to become great in a couple days and now that..." Littlefoot sighed. "I dunno what to do next to be honest..."
"Me neither. Me no wanna think about it..."
"Well, we HAVE to do something... don't we?"
"Hmm..."
"I mean we can't just stay here... we need to find our folks!"
"Me know but me no know where they be."
"Nobody does, Petrie. We're all at a loss."
"Me wonder where Ducky is and if she alright?"
"Poor girl... I think somebody should look after her..."
"But she wanna be alone, me think..."
"When she had run off recently, she came back after a while so maybe she starts seeking for some company this time too?"
"She came back?"
"Yeah... cuddled up with me, cried a little and fell asleep soon after."
"Okay... can me go?"
"Sure Petrie, she ran that way." Littlefoot pointed to the path that would lead them out of the cave. "I'll consider what to do next."
"Sound good, me see you laters."
"Just be patient if she shrugs you off at first..."
"Okay!"
Petrie walked off.
Littlefoot tried to continue where he had stopped. They'd have to leave Cera's corpse behind to rot in the cave.  They'd have to move away from the cave, move away from the food, move away from Cera, forever...

Ducky couldn't stop weeping even though she desperately tried to... She remembered the last time she had given up and it wasn't pleasurable as she recalled. She already regretted running off since she didn't feel capable of walking back; her legs wouldn't obey her because they were too shaky.

Petrie eventually heard a familiar sound. Letting his ears guide him, he soon stumbled across the weeping Swimmer curled up on the ground.
"Ducky?" he whispered in order to not startle his friend.
"Hmm..." the Swimmer responded.
"You alright?"
"Nope, nope, nope..."
Petrie came closer.
"You ready to go back to others?"
Ducky shook her head which Petrie couldn't see in the darkness.
"Ducky?"
The Swimmer didn't reply. She attempted to calm down but it made everything worse...
"What on your mind, Ducky? Me can help?" Petrie asked, concerned.
"I feel s-so alone..." Ducky whispered.
"But me here so you not alone," Petrie squeaked.
"You do not understand..." she cried.
"Maybe me not need to..." Petrie sighed. "Me know what help you, gimme your hands, Ducky."
Ducky stretched out her arms towards Petrie and seated properly.
Petrie grabbed her hands and squeezed them tightly in a careful way though. Then the Flyer pulled her to her feet and put his hands on the girl's shoulders.
"No be so sad, Ducky," Petrie pleaded.
Ducky pulled Petrie close into a strangling embrace and cried her heart out. All the deaths, threats and problems were ultimately too much for the Swimmer's soul.
Petrie didn't know what to do but return the embrace and stroke his friends' back in hope that she would stop eventually. As her cries grew increasingly louder and more bitter, he tried to console her by whispering that everything would be alright but it only seemed to make things worse.
Ducky blubbered for about ten minutes. Petrie being emotionally assailable wondered how he was able to shrug off his own grief. Ducky's bawling made him feel so sad, so sorry for his friend. If only there was something he could do to lessen the pain she must be feeling.
The Swimmer's cries slowly faded away. When she was only sobbing a little, Petrie loosened their embrace and grabbed his friends' hands again.
"You feel better now?" he asked.
"Nope, nope... nope," Ducky sobbed.
"Awww, there anything me can do?" Petrie questioned, tenderhearted.
"Do not leave me, I f-f-feel so lonely," Ducky replied.
"Why me leave you? Me stay 'cause you my friend and friends help each other."
"I am crying like a hatchling all the time... Who would w-want to deal w-w-with me?"
"Me do!"
"Th-th-thanks Petrie!" Ducky freed her hands to smudge all the tears in her face. Then she plopped to the ground, being supported by the cave wall. Petrie sat down next to her, nestling up with her.
"You wanna talk 'bout anything?" Petrie asked.
"I do not care, no, no, no," Ducky answered. "Why would I want to talk anyway?"
"Well, my mama saying talking helps if you sad..."
"Okay... What should we talk about?"
"My mama saying talking 'bout the thing that make you sad."
"But then I will start to cry again and I do not want to cry, oh no, no, no!" Ducky protested.
"Me believe that wanted and you cry anyway sooner or later... possibly."
"Yep, yep, yep, certainly... I am still crying anyway..." Ducky said sadly.
"We try nonetheless?" Petrie asked.
Ducky considered, once more wiping the tears off her face that wouldn't stop rolling down.
"O-okay..."
"Good, uhm... what you feeling right now?"
"I do not know... I am very sad, and I miss my family, I do, I do."
"Okay uhmmm... What your biggest wish?"
"That everything is just a dream; that everything is like it was before..."
"Ohh, me wish that too but then we wouldn't be friends."
"Huh? Why?"
"'Cause we wouldn't have met probably."
"Even though I like you very much, I would prefer being with my family now, yep, yep, yep."
"Me... too."
Ducky sighed.
"I still do not understand why Cera has to die, no, no, no."
"Me no understand why anybody have to die..."
"It is unfair!" Ducky got to her feet in anger. "I want my daddy back, and Cera... and everybody else!"
"You know that not possible, Ducky," Petrie explained,  getting to his feet as well.
"But..."
"You can't change it, Ducky," Petrie emphasised.
"I know..." Ducky muttered, whimpering.
"It alright, Ducky, it alright, you no must cry," Petrie said in an attempt to prevent his friend from collapsing again but it was no use. The little Swimmer threw herself into Petrie's arms, crying after her mother which could be heard in the whole cave system. Petrie broke into tears as well, realising that he couldn't help Ducky by staying strong himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ducky and Petrie again... They are so cute together and it was a lot of fun writing these passages despite the obvious sadness in them. I only hope I do not make it sound like I'd ship those two... I don't (though I'm generally not opposed to DuckyxPetrie).
Tell me what you think :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on June 08, 2014, 12:18:09 AM
That was a very touching chapter.  :yes The dialogue between Petrie and Ducky is very believable, as is the discussion between Petrie and Littlefoot.  I also like the inner monologue from Littlefoot as he is considering things that the rest of the group would be unwilling to consider, like this:

Quote
Littlefoot tried to continue where he had stopped. They'd have to leave Cera's corpse behind to rot in the cave. They'd have to move away from the cave, move away from the food, move away from Cera, forever...

Quote
he Longneck had feared another tragedy since he was aware of Ducky's fragile soul. The Swimmer had to go through far too much for a child such young. Littlefoot knew that that applied to him as well but for some reason he could recover after some weeping whereas Ducky couldn't. The memory of the Swimmer's last collapse was still present and Littlefoot knew that she had been suffering from her father's death and from the separation from the rest of her family the whole time, sometimes more, sometimes less. He had a feeling that she would collapse again, this time more severely though. He didn't feel well knowing she was somewhere all alone. She certainly had had some time to recover so maybe he should try talk to her now...

These quotes capture the pragmatic side of Littlefoot's nature quite well.  Even though I always think of Cera as the most pragmatic member of the group, Littlefoot combines this trait with his brand of idealism.  It is both interesting and haunting to see where his mind goes when no hope can be found.

A very powerful, if depressing, chapter.  Keep up the good work.  :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on June 08, 2014, 01:26:09 PM
Thank you very much for your review :)

You pointed out things that I, admittedly, didn't even thought about when writing this. I just pondered how the respective chacaters might deal with thge situation. I'm glad that I seem to have portraited them right :)

Writing is still very slow. Though at least I have an idea how to continue since I last sat down to write. I only need some motivation and especially time. Since we have so great weather atm, I'm spending the better part of the day outside :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on June 21, 2014, 09:09:42 PM
Update people :lol Writing is very good atm. I realise that because I plan out scenes, write two hours and I'm still nowhere close to it because there's so much inbetween; more thoughts the characters might have etc... Well, I'm currently only working on my Shorty fic but I have revamped some chapters of this one as well (only chapters not yet published, that is ;)) such as this one... It was originally shorter and I failed to see that soulcrushing cliffhanger (it was in the next chapter... stupid me :p).
So yeah, if this situation isn't going to change, I'll change my posting schedule back to "weekly updates on both stories" :yes
That being said, ENJOY! :smile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 50: About Sensitivity and true Friendship

Littlefoot had been relieved when Ducky's cries had stopped eventually... However, he heard them again now - worse than the first time.
"I need to go after them," Littlefoot thought. He got to his feet, woke Spike to let him know where he was going and followed the sounds his ears were receiving...

When Littlefoot had found them, Ducky and Petrie were wailing bitterly, seeking comfort in each others arms.
"G-g-guys?" he piped up.
Nobody replied.
"Ducky? Petrie?" Littlefoot actually began to worry.
"Littlefoot... you need to... calm D-D-Ducky, me okay but she not," Petrie weeped.
"Okay," Littlefoot simply answered. Petrie had loosened their hug so he could look after Ducky.
The Swimmer first to find Petrie's warmth and comfort again but she noticed her other friend. "Oh Littlefoot, I am s-s-so happy to s-s-ee you, I am, I am," Ducky sobbed as Littlefoot was nuzzling her.
"I'm happy to see you, too," Littlefoot replied, giving the swimmer a weak smile that she, of course, couldn't see in the darkness surrounding them. "What's wrong with you, hmm?"
"I am a crying baby, am I not?" Ducky whined. The fact that she was always the one of them to cry first and hardest deeply aggravated her already tortured soul, making her cry even louder.
"Nah Ducky, you are not," Littlefoot assured. "Actually... she is right..." he had to admit.
"But why can you s-s-stay strong and I c-can not??? I d-do not understand, no, no, no..." Ducky countered, snivelling into Littlefoot's right fore leg which she hugged.
"Well, I think you're just being... sensitive, that's all," Littlefoot told.
"What sensitive mean?" Petrie squawked, having calmed down somewhat.
"I do not know, P-Petrie. I believe it m-m-means that I am easily affected by things p-people tell me or things I have to d-d-deal with, yep, yep, yep," Ducky said at a guess.
"Couldn't have worded it any better, Ducky," Littlefoot assured her, smiling a little.
"So... if you offended-ed me, I would be v-very sad, and if you said k-k-kind things to m-me, I would be very happy?" Ducky questioned to make sure she got that right.
"Yep, that's what being sensitive means," Littlefoot assured again.
"Well, that is good because maybe it helps me to deal with all this better if I remember this," Ducky said, not crying at all for the first time since she discovered Cera's death.
"Me told you talking help," Petrie piped up.
"Right, thank you for being such good friends," Ducky said and bestowed Littlefoot and Petrie a good old hug appreciatively.
"Whew, that was easier than I thought..."Littlefoot mused.
"You ready to go back now? 'Cause me reeeeaaaaaaaally tired," Petrie stated and yawned.
"I think so," Ducky replied. "I am tired too, yep, yep, yep."
"Want a ride? Shall I carry you two?" Littlefoot offered kindly.
"Oh yes, yes, yes, pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase," Ducky cheered.
"Me all for it," Petrie squeaked.
"See Ducky, you're already happy again," Littlefoot remarked, uttering a chuckle. He craned his neck down to allow the two small dinosaurs to crawl up his head and neck to his back where it was most comfortable. "Being sensitive doesn't only sadden you easier but it also helps you get happy again."
"You are right, Littlefoot, yes you are," Ducky awed, her eyes widening..
"Hehe, yeah. Ready to go back to our cave?" the Longneck questioned.
Both Ducky and Petrie gave their approval.
"Let's go then," Littlefoot suggested, carefully trotting back to their resting place. On the way, Ducky fell asleep, Petrie almost fell asleep as well.
Finally, Littlefoot arrived and carefully settled down not to wake Ducky. Exhausted from all the adventures they had been experiencing all day, Petrie and Littlefoot drifted off soon, sleeping in peace.

The Sharptooth eventually arrived at his interim goal, a small green area along the river. Leafeaters would be more likely to gather here than in the open desert that surrounded the place. So he hoped that those rotten kids would eventually stumble across him; or the other way around...

Pterano having recovered from Mr. Threehorns rude attack the other day enough to take off had woken up early in the morning so he had circled above the landscape to look for the kids but not much to his surprise they had been nowhere to be seen. Being fairly hungry, he eventually touched the ground next to the cave entrance. He noticed the many bite marks on the vegetation. Looking far too little to be made by a grown-up, Pterano concluded that the kids had been here to eat before wandering off to an unknown place into an unknown direction. Happy to have another proof of their relative wellbeing, Pterano got back to the herd. Maybe they would be interested in what he had to tell them...

Spike woke up early in the morning, his tummy roaring after food had woken him. Spike overviewed the scenery. Littlefoot was fast asleep, Ducky was curled up on the young Longneck's back and Petrie slept on his head; both were fast asleep as well, slumbering peacefully. Cera was still lying on the other side of their place, looking as dead as the day before. Somehow, Spike still had this odd feeling he was being responsible for her death for ramming into her during the fight. But what should he have done? At that point, he hadn't even been aware of the injury Cera had and moreover he had only rushed to Littlefoot's help who, otherwise, might have received severe injuries himself.
Spike looked at the Threehorn again and startled when he saw something that he believed to be impossible...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DUN DUN DUN!!! Here we go! :angel Hope you liked the rather emotional chapter and DAT cliffhangar *grins madly*

I believe you have a pretty good guess what *might* happen in the next chapter so I won't tell :angel
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on June 22, 2014, 05:10:37 PM
Ah, a cliffhanger...

I rather liked your portrayal of the gang's emotions in the aftermath of Cera's 'passing'.  It is very believable that Ducky would be the most difficult dinosaur to get calmed down after such an ordeal, as she is the most empathetic.  That isn't to say that the others aren't devastated, they most certain are, but Ducky would have the hardest time coping.  :yes

We also get to see some additional plot points developing in this chapter.  Sharptooth scoping out a possible area where herbivores (and the kids) will probably seek out soon enough and Pterano finding signs of life from the children.

A good chapter overall.  :yes I just found one item that may need some modification.

Quote
Leafeaters would be likelier to gather here than in the open desert that surrounded the place.

Likelier is not technically incorrect, but "more likely" is more often used in cases like this.  Likewise, "most likely" is generally preferred than "likeliest".  This is more a stylistic choice than anything else, but I have noticed a strong preference in most fiction that I have read for the style that I indicated.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on June 28, 2014, 07:43:02 PM
Yeah, you're right. Of course Ducky would have the hardest time coping but she learned an important lesson ;)

Thanks for the stylistic suggestion. While I can learn vocabulary and grammar, I cannot learn style. It's something that comes with practise and making mistakes :yes

I daresay you're going to like this chapter :smile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 51: Not just one delightful surprise...

When Pterano returned to the mixed herd, everybody was just in the process of getting up. He waited until the crowd gathered and as soon as Grandpa was about to say something he piped up.
"Hey, I've been awake early so I searched for any signs that might lead us to the children. From up high, I haven't found anything of interest but when I returned to the ground to have a snack I found many plants that had bitemarks clearly made by the children..."
"So what does this tell us? Nothing!" the old Threehorn ranted. "We already know they've been there so what's the point?"
"Well, if we look where these bitemarks are, we can reconstruct the way the must have taken, right?" Pterano answered.
"That is a good discovery you made, Pterano," Grandpa said appreciatively. "Would you and your sister mind taking the task?"
"I'm all for it," Mama Flyer called.
"And how are we gonna reconstruct their way when we leave the green food, eh?" the Threehorn shouted.
"Uhm... we follow their tracks if there are any?" Pterano suggested.
"The ground is very hard, not sandy, so we won't find any here," Mr. Clubtail piped up.
"That is correct, even we Longnecks being the heaviest beings undoubtedly don't leave tracks on this ground," Grandpa stated.
"Let's go down to eat, we will need the food," Grandma proposed, everybody agreeing.
The two Flyers took off, taking their young ones along. The others made their way down the plateau.

Spike rubbed his eyes to make sure they were working properly. Did he really see Cera's chest... moving??? Spike got a little closer to investigate.
"Her chest is... moving... Does this mean she is...ALIVE?!" Spike goggled at the orange Threehorn. "I can even hear her breathing. IT HAS WORKED!!!" Spike cried in euphoric joy. Excitedly, he walked over to his friends and shook them awake rudely.
"Oww, what is it, Spike!?" Littlefoot complained dreamily.
Petrie on the Longneck's head stretched his wings.
"Lookie!" Ducky exclaimed, pointing at Cera.
Spike uttered excited sounds, freaking out of joy.
"Huh, what with Cera? She dead, 'member?" Petrie squawked.
"SHE'S BREATHING!!! CERA'S ALIVE!!!" Littlefoot screamed upon realising that the Threehorn was breathing.
Ducky was suddenly inundated by feelings of all sorts and it didn't seem to be any different with the others. She climbed up Littlefoot's neck - the Longneck was just getting to his feet - and squeezed Petrie, crying and laughing at the same time.
Littlefoot and Spike walked to their friend, grinning madly.
"Me... no get air!!!" Petrie croaked, being squeezed by Ducky so tightly that breathing was impossible.
"You better release him Ducky," Littlefoot chuckled.
"Sorry Petrie," Ducky giggled, releasing the morderous embrace. "I am sooooooo happy, I am, I am!" She gave Petrie a wild kiss, leaving the Flyer bewildered, and jumped onto Spike's back. Climbing down of the Spiketail's back and hopping to his face, she received a high-spirited series of licks that tickled the Swimmer exceedingly.
"Stop it Spike, hehehehe!" she laughed lustily.
As soon as Spike obeyed, Ducky hugged the Spiketail in return for his kindly action.
Littlefoot bowed his head down to allow Petrie to glide down. Finally, it was his turn to receive a mighty hug from Ducky which he returned as kindly as he could.
"See Ducky, you mustn't lose hope, no matter how pointless the situation may be," Littlefoot said with a smile, still being overwhelmed by his feelings.
"I know, Littlefoot, yes I do. I will never lose hope again, oh no, no, no," Ducky replied happily.
Although Cera was clearly alive, there wasn't any evidence she'd ever wake up from her coma. Nonetheless, Littlefoot, Ducky, Petrie and Spike celebrated her "resurrection" merrily, jumping around in joy, laughing, smiling, calling and dancing around.

While all the dinosaurs that were restricted to staying on the ground were eating their full on the vegetation, the Flyers were investigating the bitemarks the kids had made. They were also looking for tracks but there weren't any as was to be expected. At some point, there weren't any more bitemarks so they returned to the rest of the herd, getting a snack as well.
"So, was the research of any use?" Grandma Longneck eventually asked Mama Flyer.
"Sadly not," the blue-ish Flyer replied. "There are plenty of bitemarks but no tracks at all. We don't know where they went."
"Well, don't be sad, dear," Grandma said calmly. "We'll run into each other sooner or later, of that I'm convinced."
"Yes, we must not lose hope and keep our destination in sight," Grandpa said wisely.
"You're right, where are we going now anyway?" Petrie's Mother questioned.
"I don't know, dear," Grandma replied.
"Gather!" the Threehorn barked.
"Here we go..." Grandpa sighed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, welcome back, Cera :smile

Trying to keep a weekly schedule from now on. I'm currently not working on this one but only since I don't have enough time to work on two stories intensively :yes

In the next chapter, there will be more information about the place that gave this story its name (about one year after starting to work on it, gee :smile) and... Threehorn being... Threehorn :lol
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on June 30, 2014, 11:27:34 PM
Hooray!  Cera is back.

I don't really have much to say about this chapter.  I think that you captured the reactions of the gang quite well, especially Ducky's reaction. :yes  We now know that Cera is alive but her recovery from the coma is still an open question.  Likewise I suspect threehorn is going to make everyone miserable as the adults continued their search.  :rolleyes  

Keep up the good work.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 01, 2014, 11:56:26 AM
Thanks for reviewing :)

I don't have much to reply either so I'm just going to say: Glad you liked it, yep, yep, yep! :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 06, 2014, 05:37:58 AM
Chapter 52: The Land of Many Wonders

A rustling in the undergrowth. The Eggstealer knew he had to be quiet in order not to be noticed stealing the eggs in the nest that was hidden in some high reed. Despite not seeing his breakfast, the Stealer could still smell it very well. Slowly, he crept closer and closer, hoping he wouldn't encounter an irate parent. Now in the open, he carefully walked closer to the weed on silent claws. Having arrived at the vegetation that was used to shelter the nest from curious creatures like him, he listened to the sounds around him. There was nothing indicating the presence of any other being so he pushed the weed away and entered the nest. Six delicious eggs of some sort of Swimmer were smiling at him. Swimmer eggs were small but they tasted lovely in his opinion. "Plus there are plenty of them..." he mused. Just as he was about to crack the first egg, the ground began to shake. "An earthshake?" No, the tremor came too regularly. "An irate Swimmer?" He heard a deep growl, the rumbling increased in strength. "No, worse..." The Stealer dropped the egg and ran for it upon realising that he was being on the menu of a raptor. The ugly Sharptooth trampled the Swimmer nest without even noticing, destroying six innocent lives in his nastiness. He quickly gained on the Stealer who was pretty much starved.
"A starved meal is better then no meal at all," the Sharptooth concluded. Besides, it was easier to hunt down.
The Stealer sprinted through the open forest. The distances between the trees were too big to make use of them. Bad luck sent it's regards.
The Sharptooth chased the Stealer around for a while, always keeping two to three steps distance. When the Stealer slowed down for his strength was all used up, the Sharptooth picked up his pace and approached. He stretched his skinny arms and sliced across the stealers neck, back and hip.
The Stealer yelped in pain as blood began to weep out of the fresh injury.
The Sharptooth then jumped and snapped his breakfast's neck with brutal force.
"Being on top of the food chain has its advantages," he mused, having his hard earned breakfast.

"Found anything?!" the Threehorn barked.
The gathered dinosaurs gazed at Pterano.
"Nothing that would improve our chances to find the kids..." Pterano sighed. "The ground is simply too hard, their little weight doesn't deform the ground at all."
The Threehorn snorted in annoyance.
"So where are we going now? Anybody got an idea where the whole place's not gonna blow up?" he bellowed.
The crowd began chatting loudly; nobody had a clue. Some suggested just walking somewhere to see if they would find food, others suggested following the river that passed the oasis, pouring its water into the Big Water. Others again suggested staying where they were or following the coast of the Big Water.
"Quiet!" the Threehorn barked.
"Do we need a vote?" Grandma asked. "I have heard at least four suggestions."
"I don't think we do," Oscar said, relaxed.
"What d'ya mean, eh?" Mr. Threehorn shouted.
"I might know a place where we could head to," he answered in a polite way. "It'd even fit one of the suggestions I heard during this chaotic babbeling."
"What's the point if some children are missing?" Ducky's Mother murmured.
"Where is this place?" Grandpa asked excitedly, ignoring the Swimmer.
"Far, far away from here..." Oscar whispered.
The crowd fell totally silent, listening eagerly.
"Beyond the highest mountains this world has ever seen..."
Some were gasping, others salivating.
"There is an island. It's surrounded by a huge watering hole but it's not deep at all so it can be passed relatively easy. Sharpteeth think they will drown if they dare enter it so it'll be as safe as your Great Valley. There is said to be green food in abundance - more than you could ever eat - and there are said to be special sweet tasting fruits growing there only. They are supposed to be the most delicious thing a leafeater could possibly feast on."
"What is this place called?" Grandpa asked in excitement.
"The Land of Many Wonders."
Oscar's listeners were gasping upon hearing its name. It sounded mysterious, wonderful and promising after all. But could he be trusted?
"You can’t be serious if you believe this crap!" the Threehorn bitched. "Back to our previous thought..."
"Do I have to remind you that I have been right last time you accused me of lying?" Oscar objected coolly.
"Well uhm..."
"Again, you show just how narrow-minded you are, Threehorn. Maybe we should... vote on this? What do you think guys?" Oscar questioned.
Most of the dinosaurs cheered.
"Humpff! Maybe they believe you, I don't!" Cera's Father stated firmly. "He's probably gonna lead us into a desert 'till we starve, no!"
"What makes you so sure I would?" Oscar questioned earnestly. "If I did that, I'd risk my own life as well, just saying."
"Well eeeerm..."
"Trust me, I know the way and most of its dangers. I will lead you to the Land of Many Wonders. The only thing I'm asking you to do is to trust in me."
"Say Oscar, where'd you know all this stuff from?" Mr. Clubtail questioned, either sounding accusing or confiding.
"Shouldn't we vote first?" Oscar wondered.
"You're just fooling us, I know it!" the Threehorn snarled.
"I'm not," Oscar replied undismayedly.
"I think it won't hurt if you tell your story first," Grandpa said, ignoring the quarrel yet.
"Maybe it'll change the voting results!" the Threehorn protested aggressively.
"So?" Oscar hummed. "Might be affecting them in a positive OR negative manner for me..."
"Now my friend, would you be so kind to cut it out now?!" Grandma ranted, being deeply annoyed by the constant fighting that was always fanned by the cantankerous threehorned dinosaur.
"Humpff, yourself!"
"Don't make me toss you out of this peaceful herd, Threehorn..." Grandpa warned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I honestly don't know why I set up the first scene of this chapter... Appears to be random at first but if you remember some of my earlier chapters... ;)
Threehorn... :smile I thought an open end on this chapter might be the best choice even though it interrupts a scene... Oh and we finally learn more about the mysterious "Land of Many Wonders" :smile

Hope ya like it! :yes

In the next chapter there will be the continuation of the scene I interrupted in this one, and Oscar telling his story. Also a small piece about the Gang...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on July 08, 2014, 04:00:21 PM
Ah, so now the Land of Many Wonders is mentioned as a possible source of shelter.  Although Mr. Threehorn is dismissive of the idea, of course.  Although I think that Grandpa Longneck's warning in the last sentence might be a bit much.  Knowing Mr. Threehorn's character, he might force the longneck to attempt to act on his threat out of pride.  I also like the little bit at the beginning of the chapter, which helped us relate to the unforgiving nature of the Mysterious Beyond.

I only had a few corrections to note:

Quote
The crowd began quacking loudly; nobody had a clue.

I am confused by the usage of the word "quacking" here.  In the context of the sentence perhaps "yelling" or "talking" would work better.  Although it is true that calling a person a "quack" means that they are a charlatan or giving out unsupported advice, "quacking" is only used in English to describe the act of making a duck's vocalization.

Quote
"Don't make me tossing you out of this peaceful herd, Threehorn..." Grandpa warned

It should be "toss you out of the herd".
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 09, 2014, 11:14:43 AM
Thanks for reviewing,  rhombus :)

I know Grandpa's warning is a little harsh. I thought Grandpa would be more likely to react out of character here as opposed to his usual calmness and desire to solve problems peacefully. Mr Threehorn has constantly ranted about everything and only slowed them down unneccessarily. Therefore I believe that a more aggressive reaction of Grandpa is at least imaginable in this situation. On top of that, they have been in pain, horror, stress, sorrow and exhaustion so they're emotionally very weak and vulnerable.
I'm glad that you liked the first scene. I wanted to show not only the harshness of life in the Mysterious Beyond but also that our Sharptooth is still kicking :smile I guess I have already figured out that he's going to play a similar role like the Sharptooth in the Original movie :p Besides, if I recall correctly, I had ended a period of writer's block by writing this scene... it was just popping up in my head randomly and I thought: Why not? I remember feeling rather happy with myself when I had finished that scene  :exactly
Quote
I am confused by the usage of the word "quacking" here. In the context of the sentence perhaps "yelling" or "talking" would work better. Although it is true that calling a person a "quack" means that they are a charlatan or giving out unsupported advice, "quacking" is only used in English to describe the act of making a duck's vocalization.
Thanks for the information... In German language you can say "quacking" in the context I have used it here though it's also sort of metaphorically speaking. Now I know better and I'll change it :)
Quote
It should be "toss you out of the herd".
Ah darn it :angel This is a mistake I clearly have made often enough... I should have been aware of that one but it must have slipped through my proofreading. I'm not sure if anybody noticed but the last three chapters (last two on Shorty's Dark Past) weren't proofread except by me :angel I have received the corrections just yesterday so I'll probably fix a few bugs here and there shortly :) Thanks to bushwacked btw! Your proofreading is always very helpful even though you don't have to point out many mistakes anymore :p Much appreciated!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 12, 2014, 10:20:21 PM
Chapter 53: Oscar's secret

Suddenly, there was silence. The challenge had been uttered.
"You... you wanna fight me, Longneck?" the Threehorn jeered.
"If you don't start changing your rude and aggressive attitude towards everyone, I'll have to expel you. All provided the majority agrees with me. Whether that would happen in a fight or without violence would be up to you, my friend." Grandpa had him where he wanted him.
"Y-y-you don't want that, Longneck..." Cera's Father stammered in worry.
"No, I don't so don't force me to." Grandpa sighed. "Anyway, you wanted to tell us a story, Oscar?"
"Well, yes... However, I think, since certain dinosaurs may not like to listen, I will tell it later to those interested, maybe in the evening?" Oscar replied.
"Sounds good," Mr. Clubtail having asked the question in the first place stated.
"So we are going to vote now," Grandpa announced.
The vote's results were pretty unimpeachable since everybody was in favor of Oscar's suggestion to go on a long journey to find the Land of Many Wonders, aside from Cera's Father who abstained the vote.
They got ready to leave, took a last bite and started the daring journey for it was their only hope left.

Littlefoot's, Ducky's, Petrie's and Spike's euphoria lasted the whole day. In the evening, they eventually noticed their hunger.
"Oww, I'm hungry," Littlefoot piped up, looking at his friends.
"I am hungry too," Ducky replied. "I have not eat-ed anything today, oh no, no, no."
"Me hungry too," Petrie joined in his friends.
Spike's roaring stomach emphasised his strong hunger.
"Let's go out and get some food," Littlefoot suggested. "I'm slowly getting annoyed of the constant darkness in here anyway..."
"Yes, it is very dark in here and I do not like that," Ducky stated.
"What 'bout Cera?" Petrie piped up. "What if she wake up?"
"Well... maybe we can do it the way we did it before..." Littlefoot replied. "You and Ducky stay with Cera and Spike and I get the food. Agreed?"
"Sound like good plan," Petrie croaked.
"Yep, yep, yep. It has worked-ed before after all," Ducky said supportively.
"Cool, you coming, Spike?" Littlefoot wondered.
Spike smiled and galloped ahead.
"Seeya!" Littlefoot called.
Ducky and Petrie waved their goodbye.

In the evening, many members of the herd had gathered around Oscar who was going to tell them where he got his great wisdom from. Oscar knew that he had once told them but he doubted many saved that information in their brains.
Among the listeners was Cera's father. He had to promise not to utter a single word in order to be allowed to listen.
"So I told you the story how my homeland got destroyed and split by the Big Water. After I had arrived at the other side, I wandered around for a long, long time. I was basically starving when two Rainbowfaces found me. They invited me to join them for a limited time, meaning that they'd support me until I gained enough strength to survive in the hostile lands on my own. We were in a region with literally no food and water; whichever direction you looked, there was only sand, sand and even more sand. They gave me food and water but I never discovered where they'd get it from... In general, they were kind of... how shall I put it? Weird? Not weird in a negative way, but weird nevertheless. They were acting suspiciously and mysteriously, only answering simple questions and not telling me anything about themselves, actually, but at the same time they were really kind, especially the male one...
One day, I "accidently" listened to them talking about a matter that I clearly wasn't supposed to ever hear..."
"What did you hear, Oscar?" Mama Swimmer asked excitedly, for once not thinking about her lost daughter.
"Well, I guess I can't tell you, unfortunately..." Oscar replied elusively.
"Huh?!" said a few dinosaurs in the crowd.
"I'll come to that in a bit," Oscar responded assuringly.
"You better d..." the Threehorn was about to mutter but a death-glare from the Longnecks prevented him from finishing his thought.
"Well, the matter they were talking about was too serious in my view to not pipe up. They were angry at first; specially the female, that is. After they had recovered from the shock of me listening to them, they offered me to listen to the whole story since I knew too much anyway. Additionally, they have since the first day told me how sophisticated I would be. I suppose they decided to tell me since they considered me smart enough to understand what they're saying but not tell their secrets to other dinosaurs who are not. They wanted me to swear never to give it away towards others which is why I can't go into details..."
"Fair enough..." some of his listeners muttered while some others appeared to be slightly annoyed.
"That way, I was taught that we're walking on a globe, and that the world we know of doesn't just end somewhere. I was also taught how weather and climate works, how smoking mountains work, what causes earthshakes and so on... That's the very reason I have such a great wisdom."  
"So they also told you about several places, eh?" asked a Spiketail.
"Quite," Oscar answered. "I was told about the Land of many Wonders for example, as I was about many places - both some where you should wander to and some where you should better make a huge bow around..."
"That was a very good story, Oscar," Grandpa said appreciatively. "I don't think many will mistrust you anymore," Grandpa glared at the Threehorn. "I, personally, totally trust you. Besides, you would make a good storyteller." Grandpa chuckled.
"Thank you, Mr. Longneck," Oscar said, bowing slightly.
"Just Grandpa... that's what I'm commonly called," Grandpa stated, chuckling once more. "My mate, respectively, you may call Grandma."
"Are you a storyspeaker then?" Oscar questioned the towering Longneck.
"I used to be one in my younger years but I still do storytelling events if somebody wants to hear stories," Grandpa replied.
"Ah, I assumed that," Oscar spoke. "I know that Longnecks have a sort of tradition if it comes to story speaking..."
"You are right. Every big herd has a story speaker and there are also some travelling around," Grandpa explained.
"And... you used to be a resident or a transient?" Oscar questioned with true interest.
"At first, I was a resident but when I met the love of my life..." Grandpa twinkled to Grandma. "... I became a transient in search of a place to start a family."
"Your life sure hasn't been boring, I reckon?"
"No, it has been very eventful, sometimes more eventful than I had liked... like nowadays..." Grandpa sighed.
"It's time to sleep," Grandma mentioned.
"True, " Mama Swimmer commented. "The kids actually have to be tucked into their nests. Those that are left anyway... Night!"
"Goodnight!" commented a few, mostly her friends from the Valley.
"I'll call it a night as well," Oscar announced.
"Sleep well, dear!" Grandma called, smiling warmly the way she often did despite all the hardships she had to suffer lately.
The crowd disbanded; each dinosaur and family chose a place to spend the night. Soon, the only sound to be recognised was the snoring of numerous different kinds of dinosaurs. Only a very small minority guarded the herd, just in case...

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More of a filler chapter I guess but still I hope you will like it :yes Oh, and it's proofread now (so are the three previous chapters :yes)

In the next chapter, there will be a scene including Ducky and Petrie and... no, I'm not going to tell you :smile
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on July 12, 2014, 10:53:13 PM
Wow.  Grandpa Longneck certainly put Mr. Threehorn in his place.  He quite wisely played into the majority vote dynamic in order to discourage Mr. Threehorn from resorting to violence.  In a direct challenge by force, the threehorn would more than likely feel obligated to fight.

As for Oscar's story, that is quite interesting indeed.  I am pleased that the rainbowfaces get a reference.  They seem to serve a valuable role in Oscar's tale and it also fits into the universe of your story quite well.  The only thing that I might question in the depiction of the story is that the other members of the herd didn't make a greater challenge to Oscar's claims that the world was a globe.  I would imagine that some of the dinosaurs might challenge that assumption, while the flyers (being migratory and having to rely on the knowledge of the Earth's curvature) might be more accepting of his claims.  Other than that, I like Oscar's story very much.

Overall a good addition.  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 13, 2014, 06:15:32 AM
Thank you for reviewing :)

You are totally right about Grandpa. Of course he would avoid a fight at all costs but a little warning is never wrong to make Mr. Threehorn back off :)

Yes, the Rainbowfaces have taught Oscar everything he knows. Your little critism is fair and I see where you are coming from. I have put my focus on Mr. Threehorn disagreeing with Oscar's views back then but I, indeed, didn't have the others utter their misgivings... They all were tired, exhausted and injured so the odd stories of a stranger didn't mean much to them at that time.
I'm glad that you liked the chapter nevertheless :) Since it is a rather minor thing, I don't think I should change it. I reckon you don't mind if I keep it the way it is :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on July 13, 2014, 12:37:38 PM
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I'm glad that you liked the chapter nevertheless smile.gif Since it is a rather minor thing, I don't think I should change it. I reckon you don't mind if I keep it the way it is smile.gif

You are correct it is a rather minor thing.   :yes I can see how if the rest of the herd was tired that they might just let it slide and not voice their disagreement on that minor point of his tale.  It is also true, now that I think about it, that if the flyers did believe in a round Earth then the other dinosaurs might have simply thought that the rainbowfaces shared in "the crackpot flyer idea of a round Earth" and not let that minor point color their view on the rest of Oscar's information.

I look forward to seeing how this develops.  :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 19, 2014, 03:57:19 PM
New chapter everyone!

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Chapter 54: Struggling with thoughts

A yellow-ish Threehorn opened its eyes. It lied on a big meadow with soft, fresh grass, trees growing here and there. It was Cera. The girl got up, stretching her little body as she did so. Observing her surroundings, she noticed that she was at a place she hadn't been at in her life yet. While there were similarities to the Great Valley or the oasis she has been at, something was different... something she couldn't really track down. "Where am I? What happened? Am I alone?" These were only a few of the bucketload of questions buzzing around in her shielded head.
Upon further inspectation, she noticed a little group of dinosaurs in the distance, dinosaurs of her kind... "At least I'm not alone whew!" the little one thought, relieved. Then another thought hit her. "Where are those kids I used to travel with?" Cera wondered, only now remembering some more details of what had happened before she must have fallen asleep. Likewise, she also wondered how she managed to get to that place to begin with. After all, the last place she remembered being at was a cave with an awful lack of light...
"Did I sleep-walk?" the Threehorn thought, puzzled. She quickly brushed this thought aside though since there hadn't been a single bit of green around the system of caves if she remembered correctly. She was pretty sure she did.
Cera attempted to walk to a bush of berries to take a bite. She immediately changed her mind however as she felt that something was... wrong, somehow. Her back didn't hurt... for the first time in ages as it felt.
"How is that even possible???" Cera questioned herself . She had adapted to the constant stinging pain in her back like a Flyer would adapt to the unability to fly... eventually.
The little comparison her brain created made her think of Petrie, the self-conscious Flyer that used to travel with her. She honestly felt sorry for the guy, now that she had a weak moment, apparently. It clearly wasn't her way of treating others to show some empathy but considering that she was all alone at this very moment, unsure about her whereabouts and feeling utterly lonely, she decided to allow herself to express her feelings as there was nobody to see her weakness anyway...
"What's going on?!" her mind cried. Cera almost strained her neck at the attempt to take to look at her supposed injury on her back. What she saw, wasn't helping to sort out the mess she got herself in in an unknown way. The injury was still there, looking even worse than she remembered. The perplexed girl touched it in another act of strain... and again there was no pain. She didn't feel any pain at all.
Confused, Cera decided to join her fellow Threehorns to ask them a few questions. Whereabouts and so on...

Neither Ducky nor Petrie knew what way they should try to make the period of waiting for Littlefoot and Spike to bring them and Cera some food the least unnerving and boring. After staring at Cera's body moving up and down at such a regular pattern that it became predictable very quickly for a while, both drifted off into a thoughtful state of mind.
Ducky felt kind of lonely without Spike on her side. The Spiketail was really good at entertaining her despite his unability to talk; whenever he was nearby, Ducky didn't have time to have negative thoughts. His absence, however, made the little Swimmer drift off into a melancholic trance. She couldn't stop thinking about her family and how much she missed them, how lonely she felt without them playing with her all day. Despite having Littlefoot's words of wisdom in mind and despite her joyfulness lasting for the better part of the day, she couldn't prevent tearing up. Sadly, Ducky stared at the ground, watching her tears dribble down.
Petrie remembered a dream he had been having two nights ago. Pterano, his beloved uncle, had died in it which had scared him deeply. Of course, Petrie knew that it had just been a bad sleepstory after all but considering the rough, dieing land there were always doubts whether or not one would see a fellow dinosaur again...
"If only me could fly..." Petrie thought, sighing. It would be so much easier if he could. Sharpteeth? Easy to deal with once you have reached a certain height. An earthshake? The air isn't affected by it so fly up high...
Petrie so wished to have the ability to fly like his siblings and all the other Flyers around the world. He would have pushed his heart out of his chest if that was possible, so great was his desire.
Petrie had always been the outsider. Therefore, he wasn't surprised at all that the group he was currently travelling with didn't have any use for him. He was small, anxious and weak plus he didn't have any special abilities. Spike could at least track down food with his well developed sniffer and Cera was really tough while Littlefoot was smart and sort of leading them without anybody really calling or considering him that - a leader. Last but not least, there was Ducky, often sad and depressed but at the rare moments where she was truly happy she spread it like a Clubtail would spread its odor at a hot summer day. This ability of the Swimmer girl was the main reason the shy Flyer liked her the most, by far.
Thinking of Ducky, the Flyer turned to her to look how she was doing since she was suspiciously quiet. He had to notice the tears forming in her eyes to be poured forth, rolling down her cheeks and dribbling to the ground and he couldn't not hear the light choked sounds that came from her chest.
Ducky was probably feeling lonely, Petrie concluded and he honestly didn't mind some company at that moment. This time, he ordered himself, he wouldn't stand still, staring at the Swimmer for an eternity and not uttering a single word, no. This time he would walk to her without hesitation, collecting all bravery he had and offering her consolation.
Petrie got up from his sitting position and walked to Ducky, anxiety and uncertainty building up in his chest. God, how he hated his goddamn shyness...

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Hope you like this addition :D

Ducky and Petrie will be on the focus in the next chapter. But what will they do being alone in the cave? Will they be happy, sad; will they talk or think? ;) The other three fellas will also have a scene each, don't worry :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on July 20, 2014, 11:36:57 PM
Now this is an interesting chapter.  :yes Who exactly are these threehorns that Cera is seeing in the distance?  Likewise, the fact that she still has her injuries, but they don't seem to hurt at all opens up some interesting possibilities.  After all, this story has already established a supernatural element to its plot...  I guess that I will have to wait and see.

The introspection from Petrie was also quite well done.  You capture his insecurities very well.  :yes I look forward to the Ducky and Petrie focused chapter.

A very good addition, but one that leaves many more questions than it solves.  Of course, that just means that I will have to keep reading to find the answers, doesn't it.  :p Keep up the good work!
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on July 21, 2014, 10:43:23 AM
Thanks for the review :)

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Now this is an interesting chapter. in-yes.gif Who exactly are these threehorns that Cera is seeing in the distance? Likewise, the fact that she still has her injuries, but they don't seem to hurt at all opens up some interesting possibilities. After all, this story has already established a supernatural element to its plot... I guess that I will have to wait and see.
Nothing supernatural this time, but your assumption is close enough ;) You will indeed have to wait for my next update to see this mystery being resolved, yep, yep, yep!

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The introspection from Petrie was also quite well done. You capture his insecurities very well. in-yes.gif I look forward to the Ducky and Petrie focused chapter.
Thanks. Ducky and Petrie are going to realise that they mustn't forget a really important thing (which I shall not name yet :angel ). Petrie, despite the difference in species, I always imagined to like Ducky a little more than the movies may indicate. Therefore, I thought he might show a behavior rather typical for a person not daring to start a talk with their crush (Petrie doesn't have a crush on Ducky of course :D). Petrie, being a rather shy guy, would have some difficulties to get a conversation going so I figured he should work on that here (have in mind that he didn't dare to in an earlier chapter). I also thought I should have him remember Pterano...
Petrie's unability of flying, like in the original movie, will grow in importance soon :yes

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A very good addition, but one that leaves many more questions than it solves. Of course, that just means that I will have to keep reading to find the answers, doesn't it. dino_tongue.gif Keep up the good work!
I'm very happy that you liked this chapter :smile Yes, you're as right as a human could be... they got to read the next chapter in order to see the questions being answered :p
I will keep up the good work if my motivation returns :D I'm probably getting distracted too much...
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 03, 2014, 10:26:23 AM
Posting schedule will be every second week from now on, as I'm mostly working on the other fic recently... more ideas and more fun, y'know :p

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Chapter 55: The true meaning of friendship

"Hey Spike?" Littlefoot asked the Spiketail as they were feasting upon some green food.
Spike gave a grunt that was supposed to mean yes? as Littlefoot concluded. Language barriers could be annoying but Littlefoot was confident that he would get his point across and so would Spike.
"Do you think Cera will appreciate the fact that we - you saved her life?" the Longneck questioned. Littlefoot had always wondered what Spike had actually in his mind as he couldn't express his thoughts with words and gestures didn't work half as good as words did. He tried to interpret Spike's unintelligably babbling but he wasn't successful at that.
"Uhm... I'm afraid I'm not so good at understanding you as Ducky seems to be..." Littlefoot muttered, ashamed.
Spike moved his warm tongue across Littlefoot's face which made him giggle for it tickled him a little.
"You forgive me?" Littlefoot asked despite knowing the answer already.
Spike's nod assured his guess.
"Well, how about talking about this with Ducky and Petrie?" the Longneck proposed. "Ducky could translate what we can't yet understand; maybe we will one day." He was pretty sure they would one day or that Spike would learn how to speak, somehow.
Spike seemed to be agreeing so they soon finished their meal, gathered enough food to keep them fed for at least the next two days, and headed back to their friends...

Ducky kept telling her mind to cease crying but it only made things worse. She was very relieved when she saw Petrie approaching, probably to console her like a good friend would. The Swimmer considered the self-conscious Flyer her best friend. Her relation to Spike was probably even closer, rather considering him a brother than a friend.
"Y-you alright?" the Flyer stammered.
Ducky didn't answer right away. She wiped some tears from her eyes - a move making little sense as there was a very fast influx of new ones. When she tried to answer, only choked sounds would come out of her mouth.
"You missing your family?" Petrie said sentimentally, thinking about how much he actually missed HIS family.
Ducky's answer was a soft cry that quickly grew louder and more mournful.
"Sometimes me wonder how me can stand all this..." he mumbled quietly before tearing up as well.
Ducky had got up to walk to the wall of the cave, covering her eyes with her hands. She then leaned against it and slowly slided down until she ended up in a sitting position. Pulling her legs close to her body, she hugged her knees and hid her head between her arms. At that moment, she gave up the resistance to cry and openly did so.
Petrie followed the girl - a scene he knew too well in front of his eyes... His best friend's sadness and grief didn't help him to deal with his own. He could only keep the desire to openly admit his depression back until he reached Ducky. Leaning against each other, they cried for they missed their families very deeply - especially those who weren't among the living anymore...

As Cera was approaching the small group of Threehorns who were grazing on a hill, she noticed more and more details. The Threehorns were mostly grey and orange and there were a lot of children running around. One grey Threehorn looked familiar for some reason... as did the two young ones she was cuddling with.
When Cera had finally got close enough to hear what they were saying, she couldn’t help but overhear two certain names that made her chest explode in a bulge of emotions.
"You're such lovely girls, Candy, Cara," said the female adult.
Cera was at a loss as for what to say or think.
"They're dead, aren't they?!" Cera thought, trying to understand what her eyes were receiving. "They just CAN'T be alive... so am I dead or WHAT?!"
The orange Threehorn walked closer to ask the dinosaur she supposed to be her mother a few questions...

The fact that Ducky was weeping into Petrie’s chest for the thousandth time in like what felt only a few days deeply annoyed the Swimmer. Petrie had calmed down to the level of soft sobbing while she was still crying after her mommy - and quite noisily at that. She wondered how the other members of the group took her constant outbursts of sadness. While she wasn't afraid of Spike's view onto this as he was the most peaceful dinosaur she had ever met, she was particularly afraid that Petrie and Littlefoot considered her too much of a hatchling. Cera would bully her for that anyway if she could. She knew that both of them told her the very opposite of what she was fearing but she just couldn't take it for granted that they were speaking up their true opinion.
Hopelessness - a feeling she thought to have banished from her mind - returned, making things just worse. Ducky was well aware of the fact that there was hope and she knew that she wasn't allowed to lose hope again. Nevertheless, she didn't succeed. Despite having ceased to cry after her mother, she was still wailing very mournfully, hiding in Petrie's chest and desperately clinging to her friend.
"Help me, Petrie!" she cried, getting shaken by a strong sob.
"Me no know how!" Petrie whined. He was already stroking the Swimmer's back for a fair while but it didn't seem to work at all.
"I-I d-do not w-w-want to cry, no, no, no..." the girl managed to whisper before the sobs became too violent for speaking in a way anybody would understand.
"Me know, Ducky, me know..." Petrie said softly, nursing the unfortunate girl. "You being sensitive and you and me know that."
It needed Ducky a couple minutes to reply.
"I know... so y-you are not m-m-mad at me?"
"Why should me be mad at you?" the Flyer boy questioned.
"Because I am a h-hatchl-ling, y-yes I am..." Ducky replied, whimpering.
"You feeling lonely right now?" Petrie then asked.
Ducky nodded in response.
"V-v-v-very lonely!"
"But me here, Ducky. You not alone..."
"B-but I feel alone, I do, I do!"
"Why Ducky? You never alone, not really... My mum told me when she brought food. Loved ones never go, not really. They still in your heart, guiding you."
"I know, Petrie. I miss BEING with them and I am scared-ed."
"Scared of what? Being alone?"
"Yep, yep, yep!" Ducky finally found the strength to remove her head from Petrie's chest that was totally soaked in her tears. She kneeled down, her tears now hitting her own legs. "I am also feared because I do not want to be eat-ed by a Sharptooth or starve," she mumbled.
"Well, me fear me never be able to fly like a Flyer," Petrie said with unexpected depression.
"Why are you not able to fly, Petrie?" Ducky asked. The shift towards problems that weren't her own seemed to calm her troubled mind.
"Me no know! Me always do things wrong," Petrie complained. "Me bullied by brothers and sisters for that."
"I am sorry Petrie, I did not want to make you sad, oh no," Ducky said, the production of tears having ceased completely.
"You no make me sad, you make me happy. Me happy to have such nice friend like you!" Petrie told his friend.
The two children gazed at each other.
"Hugs?" Ducky asked, opening her arms.
Petrie didn't need to think about this twice. He willingly accepted the comfort Ducky was offering him, just like he was always offering her his frugal console whenever she needed it. That was what true friendship meant, right?

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Another rather emotional chapter. I'm fairly happy with this one (and I'm usually self-critical ^^), though I could have worked with thoughts a little more imo :p Hope you like it too. :yes

The next chapter will be centered on Cera. Ducky and Petrie will have a small scene as well :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on August 04, 2014, 11:13:26 PM
This was a very nice chapter that captured the emotional state of the characters quite well.  :)

The first scene was very nice with Littlefoot and Spike having a conversation.  Well... More or less.  The acknowledgement that Littlefoot could not understand Spike all that well, but that they could relate to each other's emotions was quite nice.  It shows that Spike is not stupid in any way, in fact he is probably the most observant of the gang in many ways, but that he is simply mute.

As for the Cera, my suspicions seem to be right.  The female threehorn acts like that she is her mother and the children seem to match the description of Cera's siblings.  The next chapter or two should be very interesting.   :yes

As for the Ducky and Petrie scenes they seem to be very well done.  Ducky's loneliness and Petrie's lack of confidence is slowly being overcome by their mutual friendship and desire to find their folks again.

All in all, a very nice addition to the story.  :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 05, 2014, 09:11:09 AM
Thank you for the review :)

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The first scene was very nice with Littlefoot and Spike having a conversation. Well... More or less. The acknowledgement that Littlefoot could not understand Spike all that well, but that they could relate to each other's emotions was quite nice. It shows that Spike is not stupid in any way, in fact he is probably the most observant of the gang in many ways, but that he is simply mute.
Yes, of course Spike isn't stupid (although he sometimes causes trouble throughout the franchise :smile) but observant and laid-back/easy-going. Especially Ducky and Petrie value his decisions after all, for example when Littlefoot and Cera are arguing :yes

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As for the Cera, my suspicions seem to be right. The female threehorn acts like that she is her mother and the children seem to match the description of Cera's siblings. The next chapter or two should be very interesting. in-yes.gif
Certainly, they will be interesting, yep, yep, yep!

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As for the Ducky and Petrie scenes they seem to be very well done. Ducky's loneliness and Petrie's lack of confidence is slowly being overcome by their mutual friendship and desire to find their folks again.
Exactly. Their support and friendship is mutual as both of them are suffering of the situation - Ducky of her loneliness and her emotional weakness and Petrie of his uncertainty and his inability of flying.

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All in all, a very nice addition to the story. smile.gif
I'm happy that you like it :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Cancerian Tiger on August 06, 2014, 12:32:49 AM
So, Cera is going through that experience after all.  This will be interesting :).

Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 16, 2014, 07:52:59 PM
^Oh yes, it will indeed :lol

Darn it. I need to write on this story but I am having so many ideas for the other story but near to none for this one :bang Oh well, I'll just try sooner or later :p Enjoy the read! ^^

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Chapter 56: Just a dream?

"Mum? Is that you?" Cera asked quietly, addressing the grey female Threehorn.
The spoken-to turned around, seemingly not surprised at all.
"Ah, I saw you coming. My dear, sweet Cera!" she said happily, bowing down to allow her daughter to hug her which she wildly did.
"Oh mother, I'm so glad to see you again!" Cera cried.
"So am I, my daughter," her mother responded with tears of happiness in her eyes.
"So I'm dead I guess?" Cera then questioned her mother.
"Yes... and no," came the response.
"Huh? You're either dead or alive, not something inbetween!" Cera shouted with some annoyance in her voice.
"Oh dear! Calm down, I'll explain. At this very moment, you are neither dead nor alive."
"But how's this even possible???" Cera questioned.
"Well, you would have died due to that injury on your back sooner or later but down there - where the living are - is somebody who deeply cares about you and your wellbeing. Whether to stay here or return to the world of the living, is completely up to you."
Cera didn't expect that answer. Who cared about her? Her dad? It had to be him... but how would he know of Cera's severe wound? How would he know that she was about to die? So was it those guys she used to travel with? Did they really care for her after everything she has done and said? Cera prefered to find that out by herself rather than to ask her mother. Though she clearly disliked the thought of somebody saving her life for a Threehorn never needed any help. Never ever!
"I'm... not sure what to decide, mum," Cera mumbled with uncertainty.
"You are very strong, brave and determined, Cera. Don't you want to go back to have a fulfilling life?"
"Well, sure... but I don't want to lose you now that I'm finally with you..." Cera responded.
"You have never lost me, Cera," her mother said calmly, smiling at her daughter. "And you will never lose me..."
"You gotta explain THAT to me," Cera remarked.   
"Oh Cera..." the adult chuckled. "You might know that there is the body and the soul..."
"Uhm... maybe?" Cera replied.
"Well, if you die, you leave your body behind but your soul does not die. Your soul will move to a special place that is unique for every dinosaur. We call it the Great Beyond. From there, you'll watch after those you care about."
"So... lemme get this straight... You're dead, right? You've been killed and feasted upon by this Sharptooth but your soul, I'm just talking to with my soul, has moved on to this place but my body lies around in that damn cave, right?"
"That sums it up just nicely," Cera's Mother said, nodding.
"That's weird!" Cera protested.
"Yet, this is the truth," her mother answered.
"So what d'ya mean by saying you've never lost me?"
"I'm always in your heart and watching you, Cera. So let your heart guide you. Listen to what it is telling you and decide thereupon."
"You gotta be kidding, Mum!"  
"Cera..." the female grown-up sighed. "I cannot order you to believe my words and neither do I want to... I can only beseech you to never forget what I just told you. You'll regret it otherwise; maybe not tomorrow but you will, one day." Cera's Mother took a breath and locked eyes with her bewildered daughter. "So will you return to the world of the living or do you want to stay with me and your sisters in the Great Beyond? If you go, there will be a bunch of young dinosaurs that will be very, very happy to see you open your eyes and return to them. We, on the other hand, will meet again one day anyway... when your time has finally come to leave the world of the living forever..."
"I'll go back... I guess," Cera mumbled. "Guess I'm too young to die, eh?"
"You are never too old or too young to die, Cera. Remember that Mr. Thicknose was pretty old when he eventually passed on and also remember that the Longneck had laid four eggs but only one hatched alive. You know that very Longneck, Cera. Let me tell you one thing you should always remember."
"Okay," Cera responded simply.
"You may be a Threehorn, very strong, proud and determined to achieve everything you want to, but you also have to remember that working in a team is the better option in many cases. Sometimes, you have to ignore those threehornish ways of thinking to achieve something. The true traits every dinosaur should have are not pride, strength and determinedness but friendship, peace and love. Everybody needs some help in his life, remember that! You may leave now."
"Just one last question, mum... Is this here even real?"
"It is all happening in your mind, Cera."
"So am I dreaming?"
"Yes, wake up... now."

Cera opened her eyes. She didn't immediately recognise the place she was at but the voices she heard were familiar.
The Threehorn had felt a sudden sensation and everything had turned black. Then she had lost consciousness only to wake up in almost complete darkness.
Cera's mind wasn't yet working fast and her eyes needed some time to adjust to the darkness. Since her sense of sight wasn't working yet, she relied on her ears. She received silent whispers of two different dinosaurs, both sounding familiar.
"Ducky? Petrie?" she finally realised. "So where are Littlefoot and Spike?"

Ducky and Petrie hadn't known how long they were united in their embrace. Eventually, Petrie removed his wings from Ducky's body and smiled at the girl.
"You my best friend, Ducky. Me ever told you that?" he said very quietly.
"I do not think that you have told me that, oh no, no, no," the Swimmer replied. "But neither have I told you that you are myyyy best friend."
"Me really... your best friend?" Petrie asked, astonished. "Me thought Spike your best friend..."
"Well, Spike and I... I think we are more like brother and sister, yep, yep, yep," Ducky explained.
"Ah, me understand... Soo... anyway, you my best friend, now me said that."
"You are my very bestest friend, too! Oh yes, yes, yes!"
Ducky's and Petrie's shining smiles met each others before they gave each other another quick but powerful hug.  Then they moved on to other subjects.
"Me really wish we be in more happy situation right now," Petrie said with a sigh.
"I know, Petrie, I know," Ducky replied. "I am not happy about this either, oh no, no, no."
"Well, me coulda told you that," Petrie then snickered.
"Hehehe," Ducky giggled. "You know, Petrie... As long as we stay together, we will be strong, we will, we will."
"That true, we will make it as long as we together," Petrie spoke, smiling.
Then, out of nowhere, came a yelp...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmm, I don't have much to say so I'll just leave it up to you to comment on the events of this short but interesting chapter :yes

The next chapter is a lengthy one and there's one event that'll have more impact on one of the five than you might think after reading the next chapter :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on August 17, 2014, 12:52:16 AM
Beautiful.  Just beautiful.  :)

I don't know much else to say about this.  Cera has finally had closure of sorts with her mother and she has chosen to try to remain in the world of the living.  I expect this to be a moment of serious character growth for Cera.  Despite the pain and hardship, she has decided to rejoin the gang.

Likewise, the conversation between Ducky and Petrie was excellent.  I look forward to seeing how this develops in the next chapter.  :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 17, 2014, 10:35:42 AM
This comment made my day :lol Thank you so much!

Quote
I don't know much else to say about this. Cera has finally had closure of sorts with her mother and she has chosen to try to remain in the world of the living. I expect this to be a moment of serious character growth for Cera. Despite the pain and hardship, she has decided to rejoin the gang.
Oh yes, it will be a big step for Cera and a very big development. Her mother opened her eyes, or her spitit/soul :p Of course she'll always be... well, Cera though.

Quote
Likewise, the conversation between Ducky and Petrie was excellent. I look forward to seeing how this develops in the next chapter. in-yes.gif
Heh heh :lol You will see...

I'm very glad you liked it. Now I'm extra motivated to write on this story again:)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 30, 2014, 07:50:05 PM
Chapter 57: A change in attitude?

"What da hell!?!" Cera thought. She had tried to move her body but the realisation that this was not going to happen came in form of an excruciating, stinging pain in her back. "Well, it sure has been a dream..." she mused.
Her yelp seemed to have attracted Ducky's and Petrie's attention fully.
"What that?!" Petrie shouted, alarmed.
"I do not know, Petrie, no, no, no," Ducky responded, shrugging her shoulders.
"The evil Threehorn's gonna eat ya, Petrie, raaaawl!" Cera whispered viciously.
"Ahhhhhh!!!" Petrie cried and ran away.
"Hehehehe! Oh Petrie... This is only Cera, yes it is her," Ducky chuckled.

Petrie didn't hear Ducky so he went on running towards the exit in a panic... where he bumped right into Littlefoot just making his way towards their sort of nesting place.
"Petrie?! What's going on? What are you running away from?" Littlefoot questioned, concerned.
"There... monster," Petrie panted.
"Oh Petrie..." they heard Ducky giggle in the distance. "It was Cera, silly, yes, yes, yes."
"It... was Cera?!" Petrie squeaked in disbelief. "Ohh..."
Ducky and Cera had a powerful outburst of laughter, though Cera's quickly came to an end again since her back didn't appreciate the movement. Littlefoot snickered a bit before grabbing the obviously embarrassed Flyer with his tail and placing him on his back.
Spike smiled in amusement but quickly cut it out since he didn't want to make Petrie feel sad. At least he would feel sad if he was being laughed at.
"Me scaredy egg..." he mumbled depressedly.
"It's alright, Petrie," Littlefoot said.
Neither of them said anything else until they arrived at the girls.
"Lookie what they got!" Ducky exclaimed in awe. Littlefoot and Spike had created a huge pile of food that was firmly placed on Spike's back.
"I could've carried twice as much," Cera stated smugly.
"Sigh... she hasn't changed a single bit..." Spike thought, rather in amusement than in annoyance. With some assistance of Littlefoot, he dropped the food to the ground and took a bite despite having had his last meal only about thirty minutes earlier...
"Spiiiiiiiiike!!!" Ducky exclaimed happily and stormed towards the Spiketail to embrace him tightly. She had only been separated from him for a short period of time but she had missed him a lot already. Once she released Spike, they munched on all sorts of vegetation. Simultaneously, Petrie hopped off Littlefoot's back and began to eat as well, though he chose to stay away from Ducky and Spike.
Littlefoot approached Cera, a shy smile drawn into his face.
"I'm very happy to see you alive and kicking, Cera," he told her happily. "You doing okay?"
"Sure I am!" Cera replied snappily. "It needs more to bring a Threehorn down than a scratch..."
"Your attitude sure hasn't changed..." Littlefoot chuckled.
"So what? Why should it have changed, eh?"
"Well, you've been pretty dead for a day or so... we actually thought you were before... weeeell."
"Spit it out, will ya?" Cera shouted.
"I-I'll tell you right after dinner, okay? You need food, the others need food too," Littlefoot said.
"You’d better..." Cera growled. She tried to get up again but her back was preventing her from doing so.
"Should I bring you some food, Cera?" Littlefoot offered.
"NO! I'm fine!" Cera growled once more.
"Cera..." Littlefoot sighed. "This attitude of yours is wrong. One day you'll get yourself killed..."
"Will. not," Cera retorted.
"Everybody needs some help, sometimes," Littlefoot explained. "You may be prideful, Cera. I can accept that and I'm sure the others can as well, but you can't always be the toughest..."
"I'm FINE!" Cera screamed, angrily.
"Okay, as you wish..." Littlefoot murmured and left the moody Threehorn alone.

While Cera was pouting, Littlefoot joined Ducky, Petrie and Spike. Other than Spike, he didn't need a second dinner that evening. He noticed that Petrie's chest was kind of wet. "Has Ducky cried again???" Littlefoot figured he would never find out if he didn't ask.
"What have you been doing anyway, Ducky?" he asked the Swimmer.
Ducky turned to Littlefoot, munching on some leaves. "Well, we were bored-ed, yes we were," she lied.
Littlefoot gave her a stern, inquiring look.
"Well, not really. I cried again, I did," Ducky then said genuinely. "I have felt very lonely because I need my family very much, yep, yep, yep." She looked to the ground, downheartedly.
"Sometimes, I feel lonely too, Ducky," Littlefoot admitted. "But when I do, I keep telling myself that I'm not alone. I have my mother who's watching me and guiding me and I have you guys."
"Well, that is the part that does not work for me, nope, nope, nope. I have not forgotten your wise words, Littlefoot. I have tried to follow your advise but it did not work. I am so sorry."
"No need to feel bad about it, Ducky," Littlefoot assured, using his tail to lift Ducky's head. Ducky smiled weakly. "As long as you try your best, it's all fine," Littlefoot told. "You shouldn't feel sad because you can't win a fight. You should see the positive aspects and keep telling yourself that they are the only aspects that matter."
"Like... if I keep telling myself that Cera is going to get healthy again?"
Cera snorted in the background.
"For example. Don't let those weak moments ruin you. You are stronger than you may think, Ducky," Littlefoot spoke affirmatively, smiling at Ducky.
"Am I? I am very small so how can I be strong?" Ducky questioned.
"I'm not talking about physical strength, Ducky, but about inner strength, mental strength... Even though your inner turmoil is trying to knock you down, you still find the strength to care for others. Remember how we found Spike? It was you who insisted on taking him along and you know how great a decision that was." Littlefoot took a breath, then continued. "He is a very good friend and he has already been very helpful." "And Cera doesn't even know..." his mind added.
"You are right, Littlefoot, you are, you are. In fact, you are always right, yes, yes, yes." Ducky said cheerfully.
"Now I have to disagree, Ducky," Littlefoot chuckled. "Everybody does have quirks, faults and mistakes. Spike can't talk and he's eating far more than his fair share." As if to confirm this, Spike tucked into the pile of food madly, causing Littlefoot and Ducky to smirk in amusement. "Petrie is easily scared," Littlefoot continued."He can't fly yet and he sometimes speaks in a funny way. Cera is often too proud to admit her faults which is one of them, actually." Cera snorted yet again. "She can be very mistrusting and mean as well. Ducky, you know your faults. You're very affectionate and therefore easily upset about certain things... like the separation from your family. And, obviously, I'm not free of them either. I think my biggest blunder was insulting Cera's Dad back when she tried to convince us of Spike's uselessness. Cera," he was now adressing the Threehorn directly. "I think I should have done it much sooner, I'm sorry. I apologise for everything I said about your kind and your dad. Do you accept it?" Littlefoot looked at Cera uncertainly. Cera appeared to be pondering about this.
"Sure, maybe I did overreact a little back then," she eventually responded. "I'm sorry too."
"Much appreciated," Littlefoot replied, smiling.
Spike walked to Cera.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Spike, I'm very sorry for not accepting you too. May I have a second chance? I now know that we need to work together in order to find our parents. Sorry everyone. Guess it's my fault that we're still stuck in this bloody cave, eh?" The Threehorn uncertainly awaited her friend's responses, however it would turn out.
Spike approached Cera, then moved his moist tongue across Cera's face. Everyone but Petrie laughed.
"I believe he has accepted your apology, Cera, heheheh," Ducky chuckled.
"So do I," Littlefoot said in agreement. "I'm glad that you finally realised that we need to work together. Things will be much easier."
"Yep, yep, yep. Then we can finally continue to search for our mommies and daddies," Ducky cheered.
"True. Y'know guys..." Littlefoot spoke. " Having talked about everyone's flaws, I think I should also point out everyone's positive traits. Spike is very laid-back so he doesn't support arguing or fighting."
"But he did attack me..." Cera remarked. "Though I deserved it..."
"Spike is also very protective over those he cares for."
"Ah, makes sense. I don't hold it against you by the way, Spike," Cera assured.
Spike gave an appreciative smile and turned his attention back to Littlefoot.
"Petrie is braver than he may think. He could've run away from that Fastbiter but instead he warned Ducky and brought himself into danger." Ducky twinkled over to Petrie but the Flyer didn't even look. "Cera is very tough and brave. Ducky is caring and cheerful. What do you think would be my traits?"
"You are very wise, yes you are," Ducky exclaimed, nodding.
"You're... you're good at leading, I guess. Though I'm good at that as well..." Cera replied.
"I think you're right. Though I don't like to be THE leader, I feel kind of responsible for our group," Littlefoot admitted. "
"Uhm, would you mind passing some food over to me? I'm starving..." Cera then requested. The Gang laughed, again everyone but Petrie.
Before Littlefoot could have reacted, Spike rushed to the remaining food and pushed it to Cera, using his tail.
"Thanks Spike!" Cera exclaimed happily. "What did you cover my back with anyway? Feels kinda sticky..."
"Well... ehh, can you tell her the story, Littlefoot? I think you are better in telling them, yep, yep, yep," Ducky piped up.
"No problem, I'll just inform you about what's happened while you were... well, y'know," Littlefoot replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uhh, well, dunno quite what to say :p This is a rather dialogue heavy chapter... but there will be introspective scenes very soon ^^
Hope you like it! :yes

In the next chapter, Cera will be told the story of her own "death" and "reanimation" and it'll be rather focused on Petrie additionally :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on August 30, 2014, 11:01:48 PM
Very nice chapter.  :) This chapter could very well be titled reconciliations on account of the headway that has been made in Cera's attitude (well... mostly) and the apologies that have been made between the five dinosaurs.  It will be interesting to see how the apologies and reassurances affect their interactions from this point on.

There was only one mistake that I noticed:

Quote
"Yep, yep, yep. Then we can finally continue to search for our mommy's and daddy's," Ducky cheered.

It should be 'mommies' and 'daddies'.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on August 31, 2014, 08:11:06 AM
Thank you for the review :)

Quote
This chapter could very well be titled reconciliations on account of the headway that has been made in Cera's attitude (well... mostly) and the apologies that have been made between the five dinosaurs. It will be interesting to see how the apologies and reassurances affect their interactions from this point on.
Yes, that will be interesting indeed which is why I used a title that indicates some doubt ;) Your alternative suggestion would work very well here of course :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on September 20, 2014, 07:45:51 PM
Long time no update me guess? Well, haven't been working on it anyway :bang I'm so out of ideas for this one as opposed to my other fic where I have more than I can write down :rolleyes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 58: What's the matter with Petrie?

Cera got ready to listen closely to Littlefoot's story. The Longneck was standing in front of her, keeping his neck low to talk to her on the same level. Spike was standing next to him; Ducky had climbed up his body and had taken a seat on his head, both ready to listen to a story they probably already knew with the anticipation of somebody who hadn't heard the story yet - like Cera. Petrie stood a little off the others, looking to the ground. "Gee, did my little prank scare him THAT much?" Cera thought. "He sure looks upset..."
"Alright, so we were pretty worried when we couldn't wake you up anymore," Littlefoot narrated. "Ducky told us about a special leaf that is said to cure injuries like yours, Cera."
"Oh yes, yes, yes. They have saved-ed one of my sisters who stepped on a pointy rock in the water, they did," Ducky explained.
"Yeah, so we searched for them. Unfortunately, we couldn't find any."
"So how did ya find them then?" Cera questioned.
"Well, the credit goes to Spike here..." Littlefoot spoke, giving Spike an acknowledging look, both recalling their talk earlier. "It was his idea and effort that saved your life, Cera. It was even he himself who got the leaves."
"You gotta explain THAT!" Cera requested in an irritated fashion.
"Well, Spike's idea was to go to a lonely place and search for our special lights in the sky where our loved ones are," Littlefoot continued. "All of us managed to talk to those who have passed on during the Sharptooth attack. We were told things, some of them we didn't understand, and all of us got a special thing: Ducky got one of those pebbles she wanted to have so much, Petrie got a... well, I dunno what it is."
"It my snuggling stick. Me sleep better with it," Petrie explained defiantly.
"Right, I got a treestar and Spike," he gazed at the Spiketail. "And Spike got those leaves on your back, Cera."
"WHAT?!? Spike... saved my life?" Cera muttered in disbelief and confusion. "My life was saved by a hornless?! How nice..." her mind added sardonically. Usually, she would have thought the one telling her such a thing would have hit his head a little too hard but her mother's words softened her way of thinking in these situations in a way.
"Yep, he did," Littlefoot replied firmly.
"Ohh..." Cera was at loss as for what to say.
"Spike is so very nice, is he not?" Ducky chattered. "I have been right, he has been very helpful to our group and has not slowed us down at all, yep, yep, yep."
"Yeah, 'coz that was my job... stupid stonetooth!" Cera cursed.
"Well, it wasn't your fault, Cera," Littlefoot spoke softly. "I could have been hit instead of you too. Guess it was bad luck eh?"
"Nope, nope, nope, we were having good luck because we are still all here, we are," Ducky piped up.
"So very true, Ducky!" Littlefoot exclaimed. He nuzzled the Swimmer in appreciation. Ducky chuckled.
"Soo, what happened after that anyway?" Cera asked.
"Right... back to the story..." Littlefoot said. "We returned to this place to cover your injury with the curing leaves. You looked really bad. In fact, you weren't breathing or showing any sign of vitality at all. For a day we thought you were dead."
"Gee, was it really that bad?" Cera wondered, stunned.
"I cannot tell you how happy I am that you are not dead, Cera," Ducky spoke. "I was so sad, I was, I was."
"We all were..." Littlefoot added.
"Man, I thought you guys don't like me..."
"Well, we sorta didn't like you but all these catastrophies have welded us together, I guess," Littlefoot explained.
"Fair enough... so that's the end?" Cera asked.
"Just about, yeah. Today in the morning, Spike woke up early and saw you breath again. I suppose you can tell how big a relief that was..."
"Yeah, I can," Cera answered. "Y'know before I woke up earlier, I had a dream..."
"Yay, another story..." Ducky cheered.
"Cool, what was it about?" Littlefoot asked.
"Well, I met my mum and she told me some things that really made me think about many things..."
"Like what?"
"That, sometimes, I have to contemplate other values than threehornish ones... She told me that I need to work in a team... And she told me that you guys do care about me... which is probably why I'm still here, right?"
"Your mother must be very wise, yep, yep, yep," Ducky exclaimed.
"Yeah, she is... Anyway, you guys think I can move again soon? I hate to admit it but that damn injury still hurts whenever I try to move..."
"It should heal up soon, right Ducky?" Littlefoot stated.
"My sister could walk again after two days I believe, yep, yep, yep," the Swimmer responded.
"See, don't worry. You'll be fine in a few days and then we can finally leave this dark place," Littlefoot said.
"I can't wait to see THAT happen," Cera growled sardonically.
The Gang laughed.

The group soon dissipated. Cera was left alone so she could recover, rest and eat her dinner, Petrie sought refuge in a dark corner where he continued to mourn about his timorousness, Littlefoot had gone outside to look at the stars in an attempt to talk to his mother again and Ducky and Spike were quietly whispering to each other.
"Spiky?"
The Spiketail hummed something, indicating that he was listening to his close friend.
"Do you know what Petrie's problem is?" Ducky asked. "He does seem to be very sad and depressed tonight, yes he does..." She gazed over to where the Flyer was.
Spike put on a thoughtful expression. He eventually pointed at Cera in the distance and mumbled something.
"Yes, that might be it," Ducky replied, having understood the babbling of the Spiketail. "Do you think we should talk to him? He does seem to need some words of encouragement, yep, yep, yep."
Spike yawned, his mouth widely opened.
"Oh, you are tired... I will go without you, yep, yep, yep," Ducky declared. "You cannot talk anyway..." Chuckling, she gave Spike a quick hug before walking over to Petrie.

Petrie was curled up. He hid his head below his wings and weeped silently in self-pity. "Least wings are good for hiding..." he thought bitterly. "Me worst Flyer ever! Me no can fly and me scaredy-egg!"
Ducky walked closer carefully. She didn't want to wake the jumpy Flyer up in case he was already asleep. "He sure looks like he is asleep, yep, yep, yep," the young Swimmer thought.
As soon as she had arrived at her friend, she listened to the sounds that were surrounding her. Her ears received a clattering snoring. "Spike must have passed out already..." Ducky deduced, smiling. The young Swimmer envied the ability of the Spiketail to fall asleep so easily. She often had trouble getting her much needed rest - not only because she missed her mother, who would have always made sure that all of her children were tucked in savely before she fell asleep herself, but also because of the sleepstories that so often disrupted her peaceful slumber in a displeasing way.
Another friend of her, Cera, had seemingly entered the world of dreams too as her breath went very constantly. Footsteps that came out of the path that lead out of their cave told her that Littlefoot was just on his way back to them. "So what about you, Petrie?" Ducky wondered. After a few moments of concentrated listening, the Swimmer came to a result: "He is not sleeping, no, no, no..." Believing that she was right she spoke up. "Petrie?" It was only whispered in order not to wake up Cera or Spike but Petrie heard his friend's sweet voice nevertheless.
"Me no wanna talk, Ducky. Not now..." he sighed, not moving in his curled-up position.
"What is the matter with you, Petrie? Why are you so sad?" the Swimmer questioned gingerly.
"Please leave Petrie alone..." Petrie whispered.
Ducky had a sort of de-ja-vu. "Did not I have said that not too long ago?" She remembered what she was told back then and what way she had reacted, reacting to Petrie's decline of her company in accordance of her experiences.
"Will you let me know when you are ready to, heh?"
Petrie's response was only a nod.
"I will be there when you need me, I will. See you..." Ducky spoke before she turned around to return to Spike's side.

A little later - Ducky had meanwhile cuddled up with Spike in an attempt to fall asleep - Petrie decided to walk over to Ducky. "Maybe it better for me... me been there for Ducky and now she there for me..." he thought grimly.
"Ducky? Me ready now..." he piped up.
Ducky, having already been very sleepy, yawned before she got up.
"Hey Petrie, how are you feeling?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.
"Me dunno... not good, that for sure," he replied crestfallen.
"Oh, do not feel sad, Petrie. I am here, yes I am," Ducky spoke softly and embraced her friend.
"Me goof up everything... me worst Flyer ever!" Petrie cried.
"Oh Petrie, do not think so. You are not a bad Flyer, oh no, no, no," she hummed.
"Me no can fly! Me useless!" Tears left his eyes at a fast pace.
"Hey, do not cry..." Ducky appealed. It was no use though; Petrie clung his winged arms around his friend and snivelled. Ducky patted his shoulders softly and nursed him, waiting until her friend would regain his composure.
Spike eventually woke up due to Petrie weeping right next to him. At first, the Spiketail was slightly annoyed because he had been woken rudely but then he considered that Petrie's problems would be worse than him not being able to sleep. Though reluctant, he got up and gave Ducky a questioning look.
"Oh Spike, do not worry about Petrie," Ducky assured in response. "He is only a little sad because he cannot fly yet, he is." Ducky looked at Spike, wondering why he had a sort of grumpy expression. She soon realised... "Are you mad at Petrie because he woke you up, heh?" she asked carefully.
Spike's face indicated that he was but he shook his head.
"It all my fault..." Petrie cried. "Me useless!"
"Oh, do not say such a thing, Petrie," Ducky said sadly. "You are not useless, you are my bestestest friend and you have supported me so much whenever I am so sad..."
"But me no can help group, me no can fly, me no can lead, me no can scout, me no can fight, me no good at anything!" Petrie bawled.
"If it wasn't for you, I might not have escaped that Sharptooth back then, remember?" Ducky replied.
"Yeah, but my mum saved us..." Petrie retorted.
"Still, he would have eaten me already before she had been able to come to our rescue, yep, yep, yep," Ducky countered, smiling a little.
Spike licked Petrie to support Ducky's point. He totally agreed that Petrie was not as useless as he claimed to be... though being able to fly would be very useful since they would have a scout who could check the way from up above. "We wouldn't be surprised by a Sharptooth attacking, that's for sure," Spike thought.
"Maybe you should see it this way, Petrie..." Ducky spoke up again. "Imagine how Cera must feel now. She is the main reason why we are still here in this cave and not searching for our mommies and daddies... or grandparents. We might have found them if we had left Cera alone, yep, yep, yep. But we are all friends and friends hold on together until the end, they do! My mommy always told me that friendship is the most important thing and that true friends would always be there for each other, no matter the situation. I had a disagreement with Littlefoot when we were searching for the leaves Cera needed so urgently, I did. I was disappointed because Littlefoot left Cera all alone..."
"Huh? What's the matter?" spoke a voice to Ducky's left.
"Oh, it is you Littlefoot," Ducky said relieved, having jerked somewhat. "You scared-ed me for a moment, hehehe."
"Sorry, my fault," Littlefoot chuckled. "What's going on?"
"I was just explaining something to Petrie, I was, I was," Ducky informed the Longneck.
"Oh, why's that? And why's he crying? Did something bad happen while I was out there?!" Littlefoot shouted in concern.
"Nooooo..." Ducky chuckled. "Petrie is just a little upset about something."
"Me upset 'coz me no can fly," Petrie piped up dejectedly. "Me feel useless..."
"Yes, and I was just telling him that he is not useless. Petrie, like I said, I had that disagreement with Littlefoot... I was thinking that he planned to leave Cera dieing in this cave and continue our search for our families without her."
"Ah, I remember..." Littlefoot piped up. "I left her alone to get the curing leaves faster in case there were any and I formed teams since there is safety in numbers... not that we could rely on it but I felt and still feel better when nobody is forced to go alone. Cera was in safety from Sharpteeth so I could leave her alone..."
"So what you wanna tell Petrie???" Petrie questioned, still crying.
"We want to tell you that you are not useless simply because you are a member of this group," Littlefoot explained.
"And more importantly, we are all friends, we are," Ducky amended.
"So... me not useless c--coz me your friend?" Petrie questioned.
"Yep, yep, yep!" Ducky called.
"Yeah, I suppose so," Littlefoot answered, smiling.
Spike nodded as well. Now they were finished and he could finally get back to sleeping. Yawning noisily, he settled down and began snoring again.
"Hehehe, Spike is sleeping already," Ducky snickered.
"Yeah, guess we should do that also. Cera must be sleeping too I assume?" Littlefoot looked around.
"Last time I checked, she was sleeping, yes she was," Ducky replied.
"Right, I'll walk over to Cera and sleep over there so she doesn't feel left out next morning," Littlefoot announced. "Night Ducky, night Petrie!"
"Night..." Petrie mumbled - he was still sobbing in Ducky's arms a little.
"Good night, Littlefoot!" Ducky called and yawned. "Let us try to get some rest, Petrie," she suggested.
"Me no mind..." Petrie whispered.
Ducky loosened her embrace and walked a few steps until she plopped down and cuddled up next to Spike's belly, pulling Petrie along. The Flyer plopped down next to Ducky and curled up.
"Have a good night too..." Ducky spoke sleepily.
"Ducky?" Petrie whispered.
"Yes, what is it?" Ducky questioned quietly.
"You really think it not bad that I no can fly?"
"Yes, Petrie. And I am convinced that you can fly just like all Flyers. You only need to stop worrying about it. You will do fine. I know it, I do," Ducky spoke, smiling at Petrie.
"Me hope so, night!" Petrie shifted a little closer to his friend.
"Sleep well, yep, yep, yep."
Then they fell asleep.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ducky is giving Petrie the pep talk :p Hope you like this chapter as it's one of the better ones imho   :angel

The next chapter is gonna have a few shorter scenes.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on September 22, 2014, 02:10:00 AM
This was an excellent addition to the story. :)

The gang telling the story to Cera was presented very well.  We also get to see her growth as a character as she doesn't dismiss the supernatural explanation out of hand, but rather thinks back to her mother's words and listens.  It seems that all of the gang has been touched and achieved personal growth due to hearing from their parents or ancestors when looking at the stars.

The pep talk between Petrie and Ducky was awesome as well.  Perhaps calming Petrie's nerves will allow him to function better in the group.  All that he really needs is some confidence.

Overall, I rather enjoyed this chapter.  I look forward to seeing what happens next.  :yes

I only had a few comments:

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"You gotta explain THAT!" Cera requested irritated.

This should probably be reworded as "Cera requested in an irritated fashion" or "Cera asked in irritation".

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...Petrie sought refuge in a dark corner where he continued to mourn about his timorousness...

There is nothing wrong with this sentence, I just wanted to applaud your use of the word 'timorousness' in a sentence.  I barely see it anymore in written English.  It has special meaning to me in that I won a grade school spelling bee in part by correctly spelling "timorous".

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"Spike must have passed away already..." Ducky deduced, smiling.

"Passed out" or "fell asleep" would be better here.  'Pass away' is a euphemism for dying in English.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on September 22, 2014, 09:38:16 AM
Thank you very much for the review :)

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The gang telling the story to Cera was presented very well. We also get to see her growth as a character as she doesn't dismiss the supernatural explanation out of hand, but rather thinks back to her mother's words and listens. It seems that all of the gang has been touched and achieved personal growth due to hearing from their parents or ancestors when looking at the stars.
Yes, Cera has grown in character. Usually, she would have called Littlefoot and the others mad for telling her such an unlikely story but the talk to her mother has somewhat changed her attitude. Of course the talks have also encouraged and changed the others a little :yes

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The pep talk between Petrie and Ducky was awesome as well. Perhaps calming Petrie's nerves will allow him to function better in the group. All that he really needs is some confidence.
Very true :) Petrie just has to believe in himself in order to learn flying eventually; just like he did in the Original movie...

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Overall, I rather enjoyed this chapter. I look forward to seeing what happens next. in-yes.gif
Glad you enjoyed the read! :smile In that regard, I also hope you will like the next one...

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QUOTE
...Petrie sought refuge in a dark corner where he continued to mourn about his timorousness...


There is nothing wrong with this sentence, I just wanted to applaud your use of the word 'timorousness' in a sentence. I barely see it anymore in written English. It has special meaning to me in that I won a grade school spelling bee in part by correctly spelling "timorous".
Why thank you. I was just trying to avoid the common word "fear" that I use quite often although there are certainly enough alternatives and synonyms :smile

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QUOTE
"Spike must have passed away already..." Ducky deduced, smiling.


"Passed out" or "fell asleep" would be better here. 'Pass away' is a euphemism for dying in English.
Whoopsie! :smile I'll make the indicated corrections :yes
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 11, 2014, 08:20:00 PM
Chapter 59: A new day

The Swimmer woke up. It was early in the morning; the Bright Circle hadn't risen in the sky yet but the colours of the sunset were already visible in the direction that they came from: the Great Valley that no longer was...
"The Great Valley..." she sighed. It had been her home for many years; many good memories swirled around in her head when she thought about it: Before its destruction by the force of nature, she didn't have to be on alert since Sharpteeth couldn't enter and those who, somehow, sneaked in nevertheless were driven out rather quickly. Furthermore, there was food in abundance as opposed to the outside world, the Mysterious Beyond. Equally, it had water; lots of it in the Valley... and only scarce resources where she currently was. Well, admittedly, there was a wide river only a few longneck lengths away from her sleeping spot but it was a lucky coincidence that they were travelling along a source of water at the moment.
Out of sheer habit, she gazed over to her children who were sleeping peacefully, curled up in the warm, protected area that was bordered by her head, belly and tail. Like every morning, she counted the little ones and just like every recent morning she counted only eleven young Swimmers. One of them, Ducky, had been separated from her during the destruction of the place they went to after their home had blown up. Whether she was still alive or buried below tons and tons of concrete rock, she didn't know. "Well, the Flyers say that they must have escaped... but there are so many dangers out there and we don't know if they have taken the same path." she then remembered. Her dear daughter might be all right but might also be nothing more than a few gnawed bones... She decided to spend her thoughts on a slightly different matter: Her family... Back in the Great Valley, her family was complete: Twelve wonderful children and a lovely partner to watch them grow up with... "If only he was still with me... Why did he have to choose fighting the beasts instead of protecting the family?" she complained. Though soon another thought changed her mind. "But wait... he DID protect the family by fighting along with everybody else." That made sense to Ducky's Mother. Mourning about the two losses she had to endure a bit, she watched the Bright Circle introducing a brand new day and her snoozing children rotatorily.

Petrie jerked out of his sleep. "What that?!" he wondered as he noticed something on top of him. But then he remembered... "Oh right, it Ducky... Me slept next to her last night and we probably shifted in sleep."
Petrie was blinded by the darkness that surrounded him. It always took him and his friends a few minutes for their eyes to adjust to the lack of light in the cave. "Me sure hope we finally leave dark place today..."] Petrie thought.
Suddenly, Ducky shrieked and jerked, startling Petrie.
"Ahhhhh, you scare me, Ducky!" He squawked timidly.
"I am very sorry," Ducky replied, panting heavily. "I just had a bad sleepstory, yep, yep, yep."
"Oh, you okay?"
"Yes, I think so... I mean, it is only a sleepstory. It is very scary but it is not real, oh no, no, no."
"Yeah, that sure would be worse if sleepstories come true..." Petrie remembered his sleepstory about Pterano dying. "Me sure happy if THAT sleepstory won't happen in real..." he thought.
"But sometimes, we have sleepstories that have already happened," Ducky said. "For example, I just had that sleepstory where we were eated-ed by the Sharptooth and it really happened, yes it did..."
"Uuhh, no remind me of that..." Petrie croaked, covering his eyes.
"Yes, it was very spooky... Do you think that it is morning already?"
"Me no know; it too dark in here..."
"Hence I asked, yep, yep, yep." Ducky chuckled slightly. "Maybe Littlefoot knows?"
"Oh, me too awake to sleep again anyway," Petrie exclaimed.
"Yes, I am not sleepy either," Ducky said.
The two fell silent for a few minutes.
"It sure boring... me wish we could go back to Great Valley and have fun..." Petrie spoke.
"Yep, yep, yep... but the Great Valley has been destroyed," Ducky spoke, agreeing. "My mommy said that we can never ever return to it."
"Yeah, my uncle Pterano told me that also... He said we need to find new home..." Petrie remembered how crestfallen everybody looked when he was told. He had never seen his uncle in despair before...
"If only there was something funny to do..." Ducky sighed.

Petrie's Mother sailed through the fresh, cool morning air. She had been disturbed in her sleep by a nasty sleepstory earlier and since she had trouble getting some more rest she decided to do an early scout flight. "You can never be too sure with all those malicious creatures around after all..." she thought.
Pterano and the children were still sleeping, Pterano being a sleepy head.
During her flight, she neither noticed any threat nor any sign of the missing children so she quickly returned to her family.

Littlefoot awoke as something poked his belly. "Huh, what is it?" he mumbled dreamily.
"Sorry to wake ya but would you mind getting some food with me? I'm starving!" Cera hadn't had much to eat lately since she spent a fair while of the last few days in a sleeping or even unconscious state. Despite the luscious meal in the evening, her belly was as empty as it could be in the morning.
"Sure, I'll go get Spike and then we’ll gather some food for you," Littlefoot answered, getting up.
"Actually... I had in mind to go with you..." Cera said shyly.
"Huh? I thought you couldn’t walk yet?" Littlefoot wondered in confusion.
"Well, haven't checked yet if I can walk today," Cera replied. "One way to find out..." The Threehorn moved heedfully, stretched her legs, shifted around a bit and eventually tried getting up. "Hopefully, it works! Hopefully, it won't hurt... least not so badly..." Cera thought. To her surprise, her back only stung a little. Additionally, the swollen feeling was completely gone. She walked a few steps, her smile growing wider with every step. "It works! It really works!" Cera cheered happily.
"Hey! That's great!" Littlefoot joined in. "That means we can leave the cave forever!"

Mr. Threehorn rolled around in his sleeping spot, experiencing the failure to protect his family during the battle back in the oasis in his dreams again. Eventually, he jerked out of his troubled sleep. He sighed. "Oww, what purpose do I have? There is nobody to protect, nobody to take care of, nobody... to love. And frankly, there is nobody who cares about me, or loves me anymore. So why on earth am I still here?" The Threehorn was deeply upset. He had lost EVERYTHING. His daughters, his wife... "Hang on... there might be Cera but unless we meet by miracle..."
It wasn't the fact that he was now alone, in fact. No, rather, it was the fact, which bugged him most, that he could have PREVENTED it. If he had fought better, if he had taken on the big one instead of his wife... there were so many things he accused himself of doing or not doing but THE one thing he didn't accuse himself of was actually the main reason why he had lost his children...

Meanwhile, Ducky and Petrie listened to their friends talking. When they heard Cera and Littlefoot celebrating, they got up and ran over to them.
"Hey, congratulations Cera!" Ducky called joyfully.
"Yeah, that very good so we can leave dark place asap," Petrie joined in the happiness of his friends - with the exception of Spike who was still snoring peacefully. The sadness from the previous evening was all forgotten.
"Well, can we go now?" Cera asked snappily.
"Go where?" came the question of Ducky.
"We leave cave now?" Petrie said at a guess.
"Exactly!" Littlefoot answered. "We're going to get breakfast and then we'll see."
"I will wake up Spike, yes I will!" Ducky called and sprinted back to the Spiketail. As soon as Spike was awake, the five youngsters left the cave they were in and began walking towards the exit...

Oscar was watching the sun rise as he heard heavy footsteps behind him.
"A beautiful sight, isn't it?" he greeted the dinosaurs approaching him. It were Grandpa and Grandma Longneck. Oscar's stare was still directed at the rising sun.
"It certainly is," Grandma responded knowingly.
"We just love the beautiful colours that the rise and set of the Bright Circle produces," Grandpa joined in the talk. "What do you feel when you look at them, Oscar?"
Oscar turned around for a moment to scan the two elderly Longnecks.
"Well, I don't know, Longneck," came his response, being deep in thoughts. "But it certainly is one of the many wonders of life if you ask me."
"Very true," Grandpa admitted.
"What do you two feel when you watch it?" Oscar then questioned.
"I think I can speak for my husband too by saying that we feel sadness and longing but also hope," Grandma spoke, sluggish.
"That is correct," Grandpa sighed. "We two miss three members of our family and one of them will not return... and the other two are either dead or straying through the lands in search of us."
"And watching the Great Circle appear every day, gives us the strength to hope that it is alike with our grandson and our son in law... that we will be united again one day," Grandma spoke in a depressed manner.
"Yeah... and we wish that, when our time has come to leave, our descendants will be in a safer and better world where they can flourish in peace and happiness. That is our dream but, currently, it looks like we are bound to fail." Grandpa's head hung low in sadness and grief.
"I see you're very desperate, Longnecks," Oscar noted in a respectful manner. "I haven't been involved in the fight with the Sharpteeth so I can't judge whether or not you made mistakes but I am convinced that you have done your best in a very dangerous situation. Many others fell along with your daughter and they died in an attempt to protect those they cared about most: Their children." Oscar paused. "They fought for something that was worth fighting for so they passed on in dignity and honour." Oscar paused. "Their death wasn't in vain... they shall forever be honoured and remembered for their altruistic sacrifice."
"I do not question you here," Grandpa replied. "But a parent should not outlive its children."
"Well, we have to take whatever the Great Circle of Life is bringing us," Grandma spoke wisely. "Sometimes, it gives... and sometimes it takes from us what we love most..."
"Yep, we can't change what we can't change..." Oscar mused. "Well, but as long as we try our best to prevent bad things to occur, we can't fault ourselves for things we have no might over whatsoever."
"Yes..." Grandpa sighed. "Yes, you're right. Perhaps, we should consider that more often."
"Certainly, you should," Oscar spoke. "At any case, you two still have each other. Hold on together and stay as strong a team as you are. I'm sure you will meet your grandson and your son in law again."
"Thank you, Oscar," Grandma said in appreciation. Oscar shrugged them off with a slight bow.
They went back to watching the sun rising...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My apologies for the late update but I just couldn't find any time to update last week, let alone write.

The next chapter will give the Gang two new problems to solve and Oscar is going to play teacher again :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: rhombus on October 13, 2014, 11:11:04 PM
That was a rather nice chapter.  :) I don't really have much to add, though the fact that Cera can now move again means that the gang's long journey will continue.  Likewise, the last scene of the adults watching the sunrise was very nice indeed.  I like how you have interspersed the grief and inner thoughts of the adults in this chapter.  That really helped to establish the overall mood of the chapter.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on October 14, 2014, 04:17:38 PM
Thank you very much :)
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Sneak on January 31, 2017, 05:16:06 PM
sudden bump
O_o

I just read your signature, Ducky, came here, and... I just want to ask:
it has 60 chapters, and... it's abandoned?
why?
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 01, 2017, 09:08:44 PM
Glad you ask (and thanks for the bump, maybe people will read it too? :p)

This was my first fanfiction idea but it was poorly written and planned. At some point, I've hit a wall and didn't know how to continue the story. If I ever pick it up again, it'd be heavily revamped (the early chapters in particular).

If you have any ideas, I would greatly appreciate to hear them. After all, the Gang are about to go on a long journey and I just lack ideas for events to happen during that journey as well as character developement. I'm currently too busy with my other stories anyway but maybe I'd consider giving it another try some day...

Have you read it yet by the way? If you did, what do you think? Does it have the potential to be a good story? I'm not so sure if it is myself :unsure:
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Sneak on February 07, 2017, 11:01:44 AM
I don't know...

No, I didn't read this yet.

Since I had one big bad experience in my past, when story I read (and the most important - I empathized VERY MUCH about that) was suddenly abandoned, I don't want to start reading stories until author publishes final chapter.

This story is so big so far... I don't think I have a time to read this.
I don't know.
excuse me, Ducky.
Title: Ducky123's fic
Post by: Ducky123 on February 07, 2017, 10:36:03 PM
Well, the story looks bigger than it actually is. The average chapter length is probably around 2000 words. I think the story was about to hit 100000 words when I stopped working on it.

And don't worry, Snik. It's your decision and I respect that a lot. Personally, I'd die from excitement for that one day when a story is finally finished  :lol: