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Pirates of the Insane Dutchman

AvestheForumFox

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Random Annoying Pirate Introduction

Welcome aboard, ye smelly seadogs! Tonight we embark on yet another voyage across the great blue yonder for the sake of pillaging and plundering! Arrr! Have yer cutlasses handy an a musket er two! Them British an' Spanish vessels contain plenty of them eight pieces to share with yeh crew!

Arr! What's that ye say? We're in a diferent dimension ye say? We sailed into the forbiden triangle ye say?!? Arrr! That wont do! That wont do et all! These waters be cursed, an' we're lost ere ferever!

Be afraid, me matey! These cursed waters are ruled by a most wretched man! A man so (not so) evil that Hell itself (laughed at him) banned him! Arr! He be a King of Pirates I say! Once lead an entire armada he did! The French Navy once turned tail and ran away from em wettin' thar britchis (not that that is not common or anything)!

He sailed into these waters more than a century ago, he did! An like us, he an his entire pirate armada became lost! He sailed aboard the ship once known as the Insane Dutchman. A ship so twisted, tha' it be the product of yer livin' nightmares! The man was known as Pirate King/Captain PegEyes!

What's that ye say? I'm that man? An we're aboard the Insane Dutchman?... I believe yer right, matey! ....(why do I keep forgetting that?).... Then what are yeh standing thar for?!? Get teh work before aye use yeh fer cannon fodder! Arrrr! Scrub the decks! All three of em! hoist the sails! buter the cannons! Taunt he Galley Fox! Work! Work! and work sumore or we fed yeh to the midgit kraken! Tonight, we sail aimlessly nowhere!

Sing, yo land lumberin baffoons!

Sixteen men on a dead man's chest. Yo ho ho and a bottle of grog! Arrr!

--The RP-------------

Aves worked grumpily in the galley of the Insane Dutchman, preparing the usual dishes of trout and fried marlin

"How de heck did I ever end up stuck on this ship of insane cutlass toatin buckaneers?" said the fox grumpily. And then
glancing over towards the salad table he spoke to one of his fellow galley mates, Little Pirate Ducky

"Is that salad dish almost ready?" he asked "And the way our jolly little midget captain wants it?"

"Yep yep arr!" said Pirate Ducky, "An exactly the way he wants it too!" she said smilingly (having to also reposition her fake eye patch over her left eye after the nod) "With that stinky sprinkly stuff - "

"Garlic pepper" corrected Aves

"An those weird lookin' mushrooms" continued Pirate Ducky holding her nose from the stinch of the garlic

"Ah, then all is well, I suppose." said Aves dully and then turned to pour garlic butter over the trout. He always thought it silly that he had to work down in the galley of a pirate ship with a childish dinosaur who herself happened to be dressed up like a silly little pirate (the costume, of coarse, was too big for her)

"I need more garlic bits to finish this dish." he said, not looking at Ducky with his request "The captain must have his garlic. Once ounce too short would cost me my tail."

"Stinky tree fruit comin' right up! Yep yep Arr!" said the pirate dino as she went towards the pantry. Aves sighed

"I miss being a landlumber."


Kor

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The sound of a tardis materializing could be heard by someone nearby.  It fully materalized.  It's shape was a cabinet.  Out  a human looking person in clothing from various eras, including the distant future, which had many pockets, who was bald and obviously worked out some.  He looked around a bit as he stopped out.  A few seconds his companion stepped out.

She was a bright blue yellowbelly with some blueberries in one hand eating them one by one.

"What sort of place is this?" She asked looking around.  "looks like some sort of small cave."

The human held his hand up close to his mouth and looked at the cabinet whispering, "park." the sound of a dematerializing tardis filled the air and it faded away, to park it's self slightly out of phase with the local time.

"I should get that stealth mode fixed one of these centuries, if I get around to it." He said as he looked where his tardis was parked.  

The yellowbelly tapped him on the shoulder and when he looked at her she waved her hand that was not holding blueberries, "Where are we tourist?" She asked, giggling a bit at his name.  She found it a bit silly, which is why she liked it.  

He looked around, "It is a ship, wooden ship I do believe." He said.

"Are we going to scare any humans this time like we did the last time.  What was that little human's name we scared anyway?"  She asked.

"That was Napoleon.  That was our whole mission.  Materialize my tardis, both of his jump out of it, say boo then jump back in.  Shook him up so it helped to shorten the battle of waterloo by a few days, saving a few lives." He said.

"He sure did jump when  he saw me, hehe." She said.   "Looks like you are remaining human." She said.

"Yes, for now." He said, looking at his hands and making sure his tardis remote control ring was invisible to all but timelords who at very close range could sense it, the light waves being bent sideways into the 6th dimension so those here could not see it, a nd being further genetically locked so only he could use it.

"Are we on some mission this time?" The yellowbelly asked eating more of her blueberries.

"No, we're on vacation." The Tourist said.

"Good, work is so boring." The yellowbelly said.

"Yes, that is the good thing about my line of work.  I get more vacation time then work time." He said smiling.


f-22 "raptor" ace

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Frank was pacing the gun deck. "When are we gonna see some action,' frank grumbled. "maybe when we see someone worth attacking,' a gun crew member said. "I thought I told you to clean those cannons,' frank said in a upset tone. "But,' the officer said but was interrupted mid sentence. "Now,' frank shouted at the officer. "Aye sir,' the officer replied. as the gun crew began cleaning the cannons frank mumbled to himself "How did they convince me to quit my job'.


Mirumoto_Kenjiro

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Standing near the helm was a human drabbed in a dark sailor's trench coat and his face partially hidden underneath his collar as it flapped in the salty wind that pushes the sails.  He watched with dark eyes as the crew scrambled upon the deck.  Some may mistake this intimidating fellow as the ship's captain...but they're wrong. :P:   This was Lucas, a fearsome swordsman with even more fearsome tales 'bout him.  The most common tale was that he has no hands but swords in place of hands, always with these "sword hands" in his coat pockets or his long sleeves covering them so that no one could know the truth unless they dared with their lives...

"Manning" the helm was a small green dinosaur sitting atop a seat and dressed in a black & white horizontal striped shirt, a three-cornered hat, and a fake eye patch over his left eye.  This was none other than Helmsman Spike, rather young to be driving a ship...but hey, they're pirates.  They can get away with anything.


f-22 "raptor" ace

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"Ship off port bow,' yelled the lookout in the crows nest. "Or is it starboard I forget which is pirate talk for left while on a ship,' he asked. "Port is left starborad is right ye idiot,' frank yelled from the gun deck. "I knew that,' the lookout answered. "Sure ya did,' frank said to himself.


Kor

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The Tourist walked down the hallway towards a door, "I just hope this doesn't wind up as messy as the time Brian Boitano traveled with me for a while and we traveled to the 3010." He said as they walked along.

"What happened?" Hoopie the yellowbelly asked.

"We fought the evil robot king to save the human race again.  His magical fire breath was handy, especially against those grizzly bears while we were in the alps.  I'm just glad we managed to escape the Bucket woman" The Tourist said.

"What were you doing in the Alps fighting grizzly bears?" Hoopie asked.

"We were there to save same maidens." The Tourist said.  They came to a door and he put out a hand and knocked.  

"Oh, can I do the talking this time?" Hoopie asked excited.

"Sure, why not." The Tourist said smiling to Hoopie.


f-22 "raptor" ace

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Frank went to the door of the gun deck and opened a view port to see who was there. "Whatever ye selling we don't want it,' he said before shutting the view oprt abrubtly.


Kor

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"The are rude." Hoopie said.

"Yes, well maybe we should be off.  Don't want to be were we are not wanted." The Tourist said as he turned around and headed back towards where his tardis was.

"Can we go to the Eye of Orion, that is a nice place." Hoopie said walking along beside him.

"Yes, and why don't we stop off and ask Jolee Bindo if he wants to come along." The tourist said, "He's a nice chap." he said.

"Is he the cute looking one?" Hoopie asked.

"Yes, he is." The Tourist said.

"How about Littlefoot?" Hopie asked.

"We can go and ask him also.  Though that would mean crossing to 2 different dimensions, not a problem for my tardis.  Though if his grandparents want to come too I'd have to increase the size of the biopasmic shell of my tardis."

"Is that hard?" Hoopie asked.

"Nah, the tardis can handle that." The tourist said still walking down the hallway and drawing near the tardis which started to materialize as they drew near.


AvestheForumFox

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Pirate Captain PegEye was in his cabin looking over random maps

"Aye, none of these maps show anything of the forbidden water."

"Then why are we looking at them?" asked a very plump looking midget of a first mate

"Because aye want to, yeh twit!" growled the captain "A century of sailin these blasted waters has boiled me brains. An I'm bloody board!"

"And your runing out of crew members to murder." said Smee (the midgit first mate) now peeking from beneath the table where he was hiding from Pegeye's batle worn blade

"Am I now?... oh yes, I am." said Pegeye thinkingly

Smee nodded as he stepped from his hiding spot "But ... there have ben strangers comin aboard our ship from other worlds. I think perhaps your crew has been increasing."

------------

Aves was just adding the finishing touches of a large vat of garlic stew when suddenly the galley doors flew open and in entered an ugly looking greened from sea sickness old man, both his arms and both his legs were nothing more than stuby pegs and he wore two patches over both eyes. and on both of his shoulders sat pirched two dead stuffed parots

"Arr" he said "Shiver me tembers! I smell pieces of eight in here!"

"All you smell is the atrocious smell of garlic stew" said Aves who was pushing the silly looking old man towards the door "And how many times have I told yo to stop coming down here in the galley? cant you se we're busy?"

"Aye cant see anything yeh stupid vulpine! I've got two patches over both me eyes!"

"then you shouldn't be wandering around so aimlessly to begin with, if your so ignorantly blinded" mumbled Aves as he booted the silly pirate elder out of the galley door


Kor

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Hoopie started to whistle as they headed towards the tardis.

"Nice tune." The Tourist said, then started to whistle along with her.


Mirumoto_Kenjiro

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Lucas was in quiet contemplation as he stood in watch over the scrambling crew, when a noise beside him caused to to turn his attention towards the helmsman.  "You just ate ten minutes ago..." he said, his voice low and stern.

Spike mumbled in an inaudible tone, to which Lucas had to lean over and listen.

"Fine then..." the pirate answered and began his descent to the galley.  A green-faced man was booted from that direction right by him as he continued.  He opened the door, by pushing with his elbow, to find the vulpine cook and his dinosaur assistant working...


Chomper

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Suddenly Indiana Jones found himself stuck on a pathetic looking 17th, 18th century ship with dinosaurs handles pirates, and an idiot with two eye patches and no real arms or legs. "oh my god" he mumbled to himself, "I should have stopped drinking that rum in cairo a long time ago."


Kor

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They neared the tardis and it's door reappeared.  Hoopie went in first then the tourist.  

He went over to the console, and sat down, putting his feet up on the console.  Hoopie sat down in another chair.

"Onward, to the great valley, time to materialize mid morning about a 4 days after our last visit there and near the gang's favorite watering hole to play in." the tourist said to the tardis which set the coordinates and set off, the sound of a dematerializing tardis could be heard just outside of where it's door had been which was now gone.  

"I wonder who they'll like the Eye of Orion?" Hoopie asked.

"Adventures like themselves, given the chance to see another world, they'll have fun there." He said as the tardis made it's way to the time vortex and from there to it's destination.


Drake

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The door to the captian's office opened, but instead of the office inside, a vast desert with a sky filled with many colors was there. An Asian youth with brown hair stepped out of the door. He was wearing white jeans and a white jacket wtih a black t-shirt underneath.

A black and green imagin followed him. He wore a black and green robe and his arms were black with silver linings and his finger tips ended in hollow barrels. His face was yellow and his eyes a vibrant green.

"Yuuto, maybe we should stay with the Zeroliner?" the imagin asked.

"No, we need to look around outisde and find out where we are," the youth named Yuuto replied. He had no idea how they had gotten lost when the Zeroliner was supposed to traverse time and not distance.

The two fell silent as they surveyed the pirate ship.

"Where are we?" the imagin asked.

"If I knew that, we wouldn't be lost, idiot," Yuuto replied, crossing his arms.


Chomper

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after realizing his unlucky fate abord this stupid vessel Indy couldn't help but laugh at his current predicament, after all he'd been in a lot worse.


Drake

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"Maybe he can tell us where we are," the imagin pointed at a man wearing a hat and vest and a whip on his belt.

Yuuto leapt over the railing and down to the deck, landing in front of Indiana Jones. "You wouldn't happen to know where we are would you?"

From the looks of him, Yuuto would guess that the man was as much of a stranger here as they were.


AvestheForumFox

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Aves looked at Lucas who was intruding in the galley

"De heck you doing in here? Dont you know that nobody is allowed down here other than just us cooks? Shoo!"

Aves shoo'ed Lucas back out the door. Suddenly Pirate Ducky started to sneeze "AH CHOO! Stinky tree fruit got in me nose! WAAA CHOOO!!"

Aves's sighed and went to assist her.


Mirumoto_Kenjiro

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Lucas thrusted one arm to the side as a sword blade sprung from inside his sleeve into the wooden doorframe to keep from going completely out the door.  He turned around and allowed the blade to vanish quickly back under his coat sleeve.  He kept a cool but stern complexion as he replied.  "I only came because her brother is hungry," he said as he gestured towards Ducky, now having a sneezing fit.  "The Captain won't take the news so well if his helmsman got hungry and loses his control of the ship..."


AvestheForumFox

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"Meh." grumbled Aves "So be it. Hey Ducky, get this guy a garlic sandwich and fast!"

Aves grinned at the guests as poor Duck who was still sneezing started towards the store room.


Chomper

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I got no idea where we are, but it looks to be a decrepit and incappable boat, One minute i was about to get this pressious idol the next i'm here.