Fanfiction link, as the formatting is broken in this post:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12622513/1/The...and-Tria-faintsGood evening, everyone! Today Fyn and I have an offering for you that differs from our usual style: a crack fic. This is an entry for the June/July Gang of Five prompt challenge which has been submitted fashionably late. Despite the title of this fic, rest assured that there is nothing explicit in this story though your minds may be scarred forever from the nonsense contained herein. That being said, I hope that you enjoy this offering. (:~~~~~~~~~~~
The one in which Redclaw gets laid, Petrie grows up, and Tria faints
Or: Noisy two-footers, unfriendly fastbiters, and some other things that aren't as scary, maybe, depending on how you feel about premature adulthood, sharptooth courtship, arcane flyer religions, incompetent parents, a two-footer named Ysa, and seven dinosaurs that aren't ready for the talk (a short story)
By: Fyn; Rhombus; and 4 shots of sour mash whiskey
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“Whose idea was this again?”
The threehorn’s complaint was promptly interrupted by their pursuers latest torrent of growls as the sounds of footsteps, both predator and prey, echoed upon the walls of the ravine. Were they not running for their lives Littlefoot would have stopped to remind Cera that this attempt to find Tasty Purple Petals to devour had been her idea.
Now it looked like they were the ones about to be devoured.
Ducky’s feet slapped against the hard ground as she panted, sprinting just to keep up with her much larger brother. She had been contemplating, as she often did in times like these, just how it was possible that a dinosaur who practically ate twice her own weight for breakfast was so much faster than her. It would be annoying if they weren’t in serious danger. Again.
“It does not matter whose idea it was!” she puffed, sticking as close to Spike as she could, “what matters is what is behind us!”
She barely had time to finish before a pair of toothy jaws snapped shut just shy of her tail. The little swimmer let out a startled yelp, sprinting past Spike and into the middle of the herd. Behind them came the snarl of a perturbed fast biter.
Spike for his part struggled to keep up with the band of friends as both fastbiters bore down upon him with murderous intent. Hearing his panicked grunt, Ruby realized that they were fast running out of time.
“We have to find a way to lose them or we will lose Spike!” She turned towards Chomper as she lowered her head to avoid a root embedded in the ravine wall, a reminder of the numerous hiding places that they could have used if they had taken the difficult path.
It was too late for that now.
“Do you smell anything, Chomper? Anything that could help us?”
Unfortunately for his fast runner companion, Chomper’s sniffer was anything but focused, assailed as it was by the prominent stenches of Red Claw and his minions. Nevertheless, he put forth his best effort, raising his snout into the air and taking a deep whiff. He almost stumbled, but Littlefoot was on him immediately, catching him and setting him back on course.
“Nothing!” Chomper confessed, “I can’t smell anything! We’re trapped in here!”
And indeed, he seemed to be right. The ravine seemed to stretch out endlessly, a deep swath cut between two smooth walls. Climbing it would be impossible, and turning around? Absolutely out of the question. The only way to go was forward, and that way was quickly becoming impossible, too.
Littlefoot and Cera could only share the slightest of glances as they charged forward into the desolate abyss. It was devoid of cover, it was devoid of safety, it was devoid of hope. In all of their prior encounters with the sharpteeth of the Mysterious Beyond there was some miracle or trick that had managed to save their hides. Now, however, they were confronted with the very real possibility that many of them would not see their beloved home again.
Struggling to look for any hint of sanctuary in the ravine walls, Littlefoot was left with the darkest of thoughts. How could things get any worse?
But as always, it could. And it did. In that instant, a familiar, thundering roar reverberated through the canyon walls with all the force of a flash flood, a deep, bone-shaking sound that would have rivaled any earthshake.It was an unmistakable call, one the gang of young dinosaurs knew all too well: Redclaw.
But just as all hope seemed to be lost Littlefoot felt something crash into his face. Suddenly his view of the ravine in front of him was replaced with the sight of an agitated flyer flapping his wings.
“L- L- Littlefoot, me see cave!” the Flyer stammered, struggling to regain some semblance of control as the Longneck pushed him unceremoniously through the air.
“About time, Fuzz-for-Brains! So where is it?” the Threehorn beside him snapped.
“It not far, just around the bend!”
Littlefoot increased his speed with a sudden surge of energy that seemed to come from nowhere as he gave an excited yelp and gestured towards the bend in the ravine ahead. It was then that he managed to choke out a question to the flyer despite the struggle to catch his breath, “How far does it go? If it’s a dead end then we are done for!”
The Flyer looked down at the Longneck from his perch atop his head in utter disbelief. “Me no know! You expect Petrie to fly into it? It cave! Good enough for me!”
“Dummy, he’s asking because if it isn’t deep, we might as well be jumping into the Sharpteeth’s jaws!” Cera snarled. The look she shot Petrie had the Flyer airborne again before Littlefoot could so much as blink.
“It look deep enough to me!” he shouted, just as Redclaw roared again, “and that all that matters!”
Both Ruby and Chomper gained speed as they ran along the ravine wall, finally catching up with Cera and Littlefoot’s desperate sprint. It was then that Littlefoot saw a tell-tale green form latched like a leach onto the fastrunner’s tail.
“I do not think we have a choice. Oh no, no, no!”
The lognneck sighed as he saw the dark embrace of the cave come closer like a spider’s web beckoning to a wayward insect. It was now or never.
“Everyone in now!”
Littlefoot turned with a suddenness that would have put a fastrunner to shame as the little flyer was nearly peeled from his head by the whiplash. In an instant his forward momentum had been sacrificed to enter the promised sanctuary. As the light of the Bright Circle suddenly faded in its darkened depths Littlefoot realized their grave mistake.
And as soon as Spike slammed headfirst into his rear he knew that they would not have the chance to rectify it. In an instant that seemed to last for ages, the dinosaurs tumbled in a makeshift ball of tails, scales, and beaks, only coming to a sudden stop at the cave’s end.
They were only a few body lengths into the cave, a fact made astutely clear to the Threehorn who was thoroughly smooshed against the back wall. This was how it was going to end. Not battling a terrifying threat as she protected a herd years from now, not delving through the mossy depths of some forgotten old cavern, no- she would die here, packed into a hole in a wall because of the typically terrible advice of a clueless flyer.
Which, she grudgingly admitted to herself, was pretty much how she’d honestly expected it was going to end all along.
“Oh no!” she heard a squeaky voice call from the other side of the pile of bodies, “they coming for sure! Me can’t be killed by Sharpteeth!”
“That can be arranged,” Cera muttered, staring angrily down at the sharp horn protruding from her snout.
Chomper, meanwhile, struggled to remove Ruby’s tail from his face in order to regain his bearings. As soon as he succeeded and saw what awaited them he regretted his decision.
Screech and Thud were upon them. It was all over.
Chomper had always known that he would die out here in the Mysterious Beyond. He was a sharptooth after all, doomed one day to toil and fight in the dust and mud, shedding blood so that he might survive for another day. But he had always hoped that day would only come after a happy life and seeing his friends well in the valley safe from sharpteeth… and safe from him. Fate, it seemed, had deemed for him to fall with his friends.
He forced his eyes open. His daddy had always told him that sharpteeth did not die cowering.
Despite the lingering disorientation from her collision, Ruby knew what was about the greet them all. There was a saying as old as fastrunners had existed in the world, when a fast runner quits running their race has come to an end. Though she had hoped to enjoy the marathon of life it now seemed that she was doomed to only have a sprint for her legacy. Looking towards Chomper, and seeing him attempt to face death with the dignity his kind demanded, she could only feel regret that she had failed to protect what had been in her charge. As a show of comradeship she placed a hand on his quaking shoulder and stared at their attackers.
Ducky and Spike turned to one another. Despite their cramped confinement, they were able to meet one another face to face, sister staring into the eyes of brother. All their life they’d put aside the differences of their species out of sheer sibling love for one another. They had hoped that, in the future, they would be the ones to teach Mama Swimmer’s children the ways of the world, sharing with them their own wealth of knowledge of the Mysterious Beyond, so that the next generation would be a little kinder, a little wiser. But it seemed that was not to be. They held onto one another tightly, each awaiting the inevitable, each hoping it would at least be quick…
Cera’s thoughts were of her father, of the only dinosaur in her life she looked up to more than Littlefoot. One day, she’d told him, she would lead a herd all of her own, perhaps even the Great Valley itself. He’d done everything he could up until now to help her pursue that dream. Now, through no fault of her own, a trio of Sharpteeth were about to take that away from her, years before she would be big enough or strong enough to fight back. Cowards. The thought of it enraged her.
And yet, she felt something else, too. Something she knew she would repress right up until the moment all the lights went out. Unable to look death in the eye, unable to see her end rushing up to meet her, Cera felt fear. Yet just as in Chomper’s case, it was the words of her father that returned to her in this most desperate of hours, to provide her one small measure of comfort.
“Remember, Cera. Only a fool is afraid of nothing.”
And so, the Threehorn narrowed her eyes, flared her nostrils, and gritted her teeth. Her whole body was shaking, but none of that mattered anymore. She was ready.
Pain. Numbness. Silence. Of all the things that registered in the longneck’s mind in these terrifying final moments it was the silence that hit him the most. For years they had struggled side-by-side, fighting threats that children had no business fighting, dodging dangers that seemed impossible to avoid, and going on adventures that they had assumed they would pass on to their own children one day. But now the ominous silence cruely informed them all of what awaited them. There would be no more laughter in the valley from the mischievous seven, and no more boasts and playful taunts. No more tears for happy homecomings. No more companionship or love.
This was the end. Now there would only be silence.
Littlefoot could only grit his teeth as the realization hit him, the terrible knowledge that there was nothing else that he could offer his friends, no more tricks or brilliant plans. If any of them could escape now it might have been Petrie, but for himself and the others the song of life had played out and the story was drawing to a close. Though the knowledge that he would now rejoin his mother and that they would again continue their endless journey together provided him with some comfort, he was left with the horrifying realization. The silence, the cold, the fear, the helplessness… was this what Mother felt when the end came?
Narrowing his eyes in determination he gave Petrie a forceful nudge into the air. Someone had to remain to tell their story. He only hoped that Petrie would handle the burden of survival better than he had in the absence of his mother. Remember us.
But Petrie could only wonder, as he tumbled backwards through the air, why the dreaded Screech and Thud, two of the Mysterious Beyond’s most dangerous fast biters, were now huddled up in the cave next to them like a pair of frightened hatchlings. What was going on?
That was when the cave echoed with a cacophony of sounds that seem to come from the very Earth itself. A bowel-shaking roar that was soon joined by that of another, followed then by the sound of Petrie’s voice uttering something none of the gang would ever have expected to hear from him.
“Make room for me, Thud!”
The dinosaurs packed themselves in even tighter. From her position at the rear, Cera shook her head, wondering if the pressure was getting to her. Petrie hadn’t said what she thought he’d said, had he? Couldn’t be. Someone at the front of the cave was just taking up too much space. If she was going to die, she wasn’t going to do it gasping for air in the dark.
“Stop pushing!” she groaned, and pushed back against the wall with all her might. She was met with a very un-leaf eater-like growl from the mouth of the cave in response.
“No!” Petrie squeaked, now fully aware that he was within snapping distance of two fully-grown fast biters, “stop, Cera!”
Another roar sent both the threehorn and the fastbiter deep into the cave… well… as deep as it went. As all of those present huddled against the wall trying to avoid the sensitive eyes and sniffers of the monsters outside.
“Oh no! They are here!” Ducky’s panicked words roared in the cave as Spike let out desperate groans. They were joined by a series of confused and disoriented calls from the others, making the auditory assault in the cave rival anything that an entire pack of two-footers create.
“Who’s here?!” Cera barked out, “will someone please explain what’s going on?!”
Roar!
Suddenly everyone held their ears as all eyes turned to the source of the noise. A most familiar green fastbiter with a long snout and an even longer reputation. He glanced at Chomper for a moment before the purple sharptooth began to speak in a muted whisper.
“Thud says to shut up unless you want Redclaw to eat us all!”
Silence returned to the cave then as the leaf-eaters and sharpteeth entered into an uneasy truce, each huddling behind the cave walls, trying to hide as much of their bodies as they could in the cave’s pathetic depths. But that was when the distinctive sound of two competing roars shook the cave.
Ruby’s beak clicked in fear, “I don’t think that Redclaw is alone out there…”
Redclaw’s roar sounded again. Hearing it once more, it was obvious that his was the deeper, of the two, while the second roar was clearly someone else, a higher, more grating sound. Two Sharpteeth? This close to the wall? The gang listened closely, trying to decipher what was going on. The higher roar seemed to be challenging Redclaw, pushing him towards some sort of confrontation. In return, Redclaw’s own roar seemed strangely more formal than before. None of the young dinosaurs could say for sure, of course, and even the ones that understood the Sharptooth dialogue were having a hard time figuring out what was going on outside the cave.
“Maybe they’ll eat each other,” came Cera’s muffled whisper from the rear.
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“A lone sharptooth invades my territory? Bold move, but now you will see what I can do, Scarless… even a pack of fastbiter cowers before me!”
Chomper watched in mute fascination and horror as the two tyrannosauruses circled one another, yet one thought confused him. Why weren’t they attacking? They had traded verbal barbs for the last several minutes.
The female growled in response to the massive male. Her light green coloration belayed the scars that marred her flanks and backside, a testament to numerous battles she had survived… and clearly won. For the first time, it seemed, Red Claw was evenly matched, and yet all eyes peering out at the two Sharpteeth from the dark of the cave found themselves conflicted. If this newcomer was really capable of taking down Red Claw, then what did that bode for them? So they watched as their circle drew tighter, the Tyrannosaurs viciously snapping at one another as the distance between them grew smaller.
“How’d you get that scar?” the female barked, “Swimmer give you a good beatdown?”
This seemed to set Redclaw off completely, and he threw back his head, delivering the loudest roar any of the gang had ever heard. To their surprise, the female barely even flinched.
“Pathetic. I’ve heard better from the last Clubtail I killed.”
The massive male laughed at the female’s taunt, “Ah, so you know what the food grunts out when it dies. With social skills like that no wonder why you are egg-less.”
The female’s eyes widened, and she lowered herself down, swishing her tail from side to side menacingly. Then, without warning, she lunged forward, jaws wide open, towards Redclaw. Her jaws closed on nothing but air as the large Sharptooth deftly sidestepped her attack, chuckling to himself.
“You see, you need to hunt the leaf-munchers and not court with them.”
Chomper could not understand what was going on. Did Redclaw have a deathwish? Did the other sharptooth? That was when his father’s wise words popped into his mind.
“When you are facing someone and don’t know if to fight or leave, you test them.”
“What do you mean, daddy?”
“Charge at them. See what they do in response. If they fear you then you have the advantage. If not then sometimes it is best to fight another day.”
Chomper blinked in recognition. Redclaw must be testing the female, and she must be doing the same. But what do sharpteeth do if neither seems afraid of the other? This situation seemed to confirm that a non-stop insult-fest was the result.
“Chomper, what are they doing?”
The little purple sharptooth merely shook his head at Littlefoot’s hushed question. “I am not sure…”
At the front of the cave, however, a much different conversation was taking place between the two resident Fastbiters.
"I don't know which is more painful: listening to this shit or being eaten."
Screech sighed as he looked forlornly at his companion. “You said it. You know what this means, right?”
Thud growled. “That we get to see something disgusting before the Big Guy eats us all?”
“Pfft,” Screech shook his claw dismissively, “we’ve been through worse before. I’m sure we have… at one point or another. The point is, we can kiss Longneck dinners goodbye for a while, no matter how you slice it. Now, we can go out there and die the moment Ugly sets eyes on us, or…” he looked back thoughtfully at the cowering leaf eaters trapped behind them, “we use our resources.”
“So you’re suggesting we beg for help. From our food,” Thud said flatly.
Screech shrugged. “Think of it as… expanding the pack. Temporarily, of course.”
Thud scanned the leaf-eaters with a cursory glance, causing them to cram into the back of the cave while Chomper snarled and took on a defensive stance that was less intimidating than it was cute. Had they really fallen this low?
Outside the cave, the circle went on, each of the massive predators trading insults like they were hatchlings.
"I'm going to jump on you and rip out your throat!"
"Oh... I think you have our roles reversed, dear, but I appreciate your interest!
"Why you!"
Screech winced. Thud was right: anything was better than hearing their old leader acting in such a humiliating way.
“What do you say, Thud? Can’t be any worse than listening to this, right?”
Thud groaned. “Damn it, alright! But if a word of this gets out then our reputations will be ruined forever.”
“Of course. And besides,” Screech added, licking his chops as his Sharptooth took on a deep fastbiter accent, in case the little rex was listening, “if they don’t help us, we can always just eat them.”
Thud nodded. It looked like their best option at this point.
“Are you saying that you have eyes for me, you pathetic moron?”
“Only where it matters,” Redclaw responded, suddenly taking on a very different tone. Screech dry-heaved slightly.
Thud wasted no time in making their case. “Okay, Tiny, I have a proposition for you to make with your sap-sucker friends.”
Taken completely by surprise, Chomper nonetheless remained on his guard. Things were getting weird, no doubt about it, but that hardly made Screech and Thud any more trustworthy than they already were.
“What is it, and why should we care?” he growled, taking care not to show weakness. Hopefully, they’d respect his show of force, even if it was ultimately meaningless.
“Settle down, pipsqueak,” Screech hissed, making sure to expose as many teeth as possible, “today, we’re on the same side. I think you’ll find we have the same goal in mind.”
“And what’s that?”
“Getting out of this cave alive,” Thud answered, “Or do the sap-suckers have a plan to escape like they usually do?”
Chomper looked around the cave. While he wouldn’t admit it to Thud, the situation was pretty hopeless. The only way out was through the Fastbiters, and then past Redclaw. The odds weren’t in their favor this time.
“I don’t see why that’s a problem for you,” Chomper pointed out, “Redclaw’s your friend. What’s stopping you from walking out there right now and telling him where we are?”
“I’m not sure ëfriend’ is the right word,” Screech cut in, “more like ënecessity.’”
Chomper said nothing, but his expression urged the Fastbiters to continue.
“And currently the Big Guy does not see us as a necessity…” Thud admitted reluctantly.
“What are they saying?” Cera asked with an odd mixture of annoyance and barely concealed fear, though she would never admit that.
“Me not sure me want to know…” Petrie groaned as he lay on Littlefoot’s back.
“All you need to know is that I don’t think we’ll be hunting with Redclaw any time soon, and…” Screech drew in a deep breath. He knew Thud wouldn’t be the one to say it, so the responsibility fell to him. The next words out of his mouth were accompanied by a face that looked as if he’d swallowed a bone shard by mistake.
“We think we should work together.”
“Work together?!” Chomper blurted out in leaf eater. Immediately the gang snapped alert.
“Chomper…” Cera snarled, “What, exactly, are you saying to them?”
“Shush, Cera!” Chomper shot back, feeling braver than usual now that two fully grown Fastbiters were more or less on his side, “I’m getting us out of here.” He turned back to Screech and Thud, reverting to the Sharptooth tongue, “how do I know you won’t harm us?”
“You are brave, I’ll give you that,” Redclaw snarled outside. “I like that. Actually, I find that pretty admirable. Maybe even endearing, if you’re lucky.”
Thud closed his eyes. Ancestors give me strength… “I give you my vow.”
“And mine,” Screech echoed, “we will not harm the sap-suckers. But if we don’t get moving, you can bet Redclaw will have no trouble with harming any of us.”
Chomper couldn’t believe his ears. Could this actually be happening? But with the chorus of growls and roars from outside the cave, he knew that the gang’s window of opportunity was narrowing. If they were to escape then it had to be now. If they waited for Redclaw to chase away the challenger…
Chomper turned back to the gang. He knew what he had to do, though he suspected what he had to say would be even more difficult than talking to the Fastbiters.
“They saw that they will help us get out of here if we help them escape from Redclaw.”
“They what?!” Cera yelped from the back of the cave.
Littlefoot blinked for a moment, still not quite believing what he had heard. “What if they want to eat us once we are out of here?”
“I do not know if we can trust them. They have tried to eat us before, and I do not want us to be eaten. Oh, no, no, no.” Ducky affirmed as Spike grunted his agreement.
Ruby was a bit more controlled in her response. She had heard the exchanges outside and the conversation between Chomper and the two fastbiters. Despite her misgivings, as a fastrunner she knew an opening when she saw one.
“Guys, if we escape from this cave then maybe we can escape from them, but if we don’t escape from the cave then we can’t escape,” she gestured for emphasis, “Because they are right here.”
Chomper nodded, feigning more confidence than he felt. “They also gave me their vow.”
“I’d say something, but none of you is going to listen to me anyway,” Cera grumbled, “and I’ll probably be the one that pays for it.”
Littlefoot sighed, obviously not pleased with the situation but not seeing another way out. “Guys, I don’t think we have a choice here. Petrie, as soon as we get out you need to fly ahead, okay?”
“You not need to tell Petrie twice. Me not want to stay near Screech and Thud!”
Cera rolled her eyes, “Lucky you.”
Screech and Thud meanwhile were shifting around impatiently. Every second wasted by the ignorant sap-suckers was a moment they would never get back. If they wanted to escape then they had to go now.
Thud growled with a tone that invited no further debate, “Tell them if they don’t help us then they will be my last meal. Let’s move!”
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Looking hesitantly around the edge of the cave entrance, the gang carefully but swiftly followed Thud’s lead along the edge of the rock wall. Unlike the Sharpteeth, they did not know the best way to mask one’s scent by going with the wind, but that they could show them. They just needed to help with the rest. Next time Redclaw might not be as distracted.
As Screech brought up the rear behind Spike he spared the tyrannosaurus duo one final glance.
“Now admit it you just invaded my territory to see me. How about next time I ëinvade’ your territory, if you know what I mean?”
Screech closed his eyes. Death would have been more merciful than hearing that.
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The skies above the Mysterious Beyond, that evening:
Two amber orbs shined through the enveloping darkness of the night, harbingers of the coming night. The Bright Circle’s distant radiance was only now beginning to dim over the horizon, announcing to all the coming evening.
But to the owner of the eyes it seemed more a cruel mockery of hope than its realization. Her child was missing. The valley’s children were missing. And their would be no rest until they were all found.
She gave the slightest look back as she waved a wing for the others to move forward. On this day they would either retrieve their children. The time of watchful waiting and careful scoutings was over. In the past they had bickered for too long in the past and let their children act like the adults they should have been. Wandering off all over the world while the parents were oblivious until the children were almost already back.
Those days were over.
With a heavy heart she took flight once more, making a slow turn over the valley walls. With no less than eight separate groups at the ready they would begin their inspection at the valley’s walls and expand their focus outwards so that no rock was unturned. But she had no doubt that their search would take at least the entire day.
“Hey, it’s Momma!”
It was at that point a distracted Volant slammed into the ravine wall.
-----------
Petrie winced as his mother collided with the unyielding rock face. For most Flyers, running into terrain in broad daylight without a cloud in the sky was the ultimate form of humiliation, but for Petrie, his instincts took precedence. This was his mother, after all. The young Flyer shot off towards the crumpled figure of his mother with the rest of the gang following up as quickly as their legs could carry them. All save for the two Fastbiters, who chose instead to hang back, talking quietly amongst themselves under the cover of foliage..
“I call dibs on the flyer if she’s dead.” A bush appeared to assert as a grey tail emerged from its foliage.
“Excuse me?” the bush’s second half muttered, somewhat perturbed, “you got to pick the last downed Flyer. This one’s mine.”
“We can play for it. Rock, tail, teeth. Best two out of three!” The other bush suggested, its tail shifting in agitation.
“Oh you would suggest that. Just because you’re always-”
But the bush fell silent as the young Threehorn standing nearby shot it a look filled with enough venom to down a fully-grown Sharptooth.
“I think she knows what we are talking about…”
“Gee… you think, genius? We should quiet down before...”
It was at that exact moment that the ravine suddenly began to echo with the sounds of chaos, of thundering footsteps and raging speed. One of the search parties had arrived. Almost immediately, Cera’s hardened demeanor melted once she realized who was leading it.
And the threehorn at its front did not notice that it had almost crushed a certain tailed-bush.
“Cera! We were worried sick! Where have all of you been?”
“Oh hi Dad, didn’t really expect to see you out here, uh, today.”
The Threehorn scowled. Though, to call it that would imply that his face was ever anything but. In reality, the creases and wrinkles just deepened.
“It’s my duty to patrol outside the Valley from time to time. You know that. Now, please answer my question, Cera. Where have you been?”
Cera stood rooted to the spot, licking her chops nervously. She was never all that good at telling a convincing lie.
“Um… we kind of wanted to explore the twisting stream,” Littlefoot began as he carefully placed himself between the threehorn and one of the bushes, “But we kind of got lost.”
Much to the Longneck’s dismay, the great Threehorn’s steely gaze turned to him next as he snorted.
“A Longneck getting lost. Huh. Haven’t heard that one before,” he muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
The little longneck looked annoyed for a moment, a sign of his budding pride, but he held his tongue. Now was not the time to attract more attention to the bush behind him.
“I would say that the Great Valley walls would be more than ëa little lost’, Littlefoot.” Mama Flyer chided as she half-flew, half- fell onto the threehorn’s back.
“There you are, Ducky! Spike!”
Littlefoot sighed as he gave the rest of his friends a look. For the first time in many adventures they had finally been caught mid-adventure. It was not a surprise when he felt himself being lifted up into the air onto a very familiar back.
“I’m sorry, Grandma,” Littlefoot apologized honestly, noting the chaos that they had been through on this day. However, the agitated movement of the two ëbushes’ below them reminded him of his duty to those who had decided to spare him.
Littlefoot swallowed. “I guess that we are all grounded, huh?”
That was when a horrible sound greeted everyone’s ears. It was like a cross between a screech and a shriek, and it took several moments for the longneck to realize that it was Volant’s laugh.
Maybe she had hit her head harder than they had thought?
Volant smiled at the children, her eyes gleaming in a way that made all of the children shiver, even a certain purple sharptooth and pink fastrunner.
“Oh don’t worry, children. We have the perfect punishment planned for all of you.”
The children looked to one another nervously, each imagining the worst possible outcome. Even Topps was smiling now, despite his usual abrasiveness. It took several moments, but finally the group of leaf-eaters began their slow trek back to the valley, not appearing to notice two ëbushes’ who were slowly walking close behind.
The bush with the green tail whispered at its counterpart, "Dibs on the Swimmer and the Spiketail."
The other bush counter-offered, "Fine. I get the Longneck and the Flyer. We can divvy up the Fastrunner and the Little Biter after all the trouble they’ve put us through.”
"What about the Threehorn?"
Silence reigned for several moments as both bushes stopped to consider that question. Finally, however, the bush with the green tail sighed and resumed his trek.
“She’s yours if you want her.”
The gray tailed bush shook its tail from side to side, "I'm not going anywhere near her."
Another long sigh came from the second bush. “So the Threehorn lives.”
“Yes,” the gray tailed bush responded flatly, with just the tiniest waver of fear in its tone, “the Threehorn lives.”
“Heh…” the other bush mocked, “Where is Redclaw when you need him?”
A soft, decidedly non-scary roar echoed up through the ravine behind the bushes. For a moment, they turned toward the source of the noise. Then, as if on cue, they both shivered in unison.
“Never mind.”
Both bushes sprinted in the direction of the valley. It was far better to seek aid from the annoying little shits and their terrifying parents than the lovestruck abomination outside of its walls.
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Back in the valley:
The little longneck grunted with exertion as he pushed the last of the fallen saplings into their resting site at the bottom of the hill. Why couldn’t the valley had exiled them? Or grounded them to their nests? Or sent them back into the Mysterious Beyond? Anything but take orders from Miss Maia…
“Is… is this good, Miss Maia?”
The Maiasaura stared at the longneck for a moment from her vantage point on her nest on the top of the hill.
“Very good, Littlefoot.”
The longneck gave a sigh of relief. Finally, the nightmare was coming to an end.
“Now you only have the other three sides of the hill to clear.”
The longneck collapsed. Yep, exile was beginning to look like a better option at this point.
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Cera groaned as she buried her face into the family nest once again. She’d have been happier pushing boulders out of the nesting area. At least those were easy to spot. But, apparently not to be outdone by the other parents’ punishments, her father had opted to give her a particularly nasty one.
Tricia had been complaining (loudly) all week about pebbles in her nest. With such a perfect opportunity, Topps had wasted no time in taking it, which was why Cera now found herself picking ridiculously small rocks out of her little sister’s earth bed.
And all for the sake of some idiot Fastbiters, she thought, her teeth clenching instinctively.
“Missed a few on the other side,” her father called out. Cera fought the urge to glare at him.
For once, she almost wished she was still being chased by Redclaw.
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“Okay, you two need to stay in here while you get to stay in here. Otherwise you won’t be able to stay here anymore.”
Screech squinted at the Fastrunner, confusion all over his face.
“What now?”
Chomper opened his mouth slightly, “Um… what Ruby is saying is that you two need to stay in the Caverns otherwise the valley will chase you out.”
Ruby nodded as if nothing was out of the ordinary, “That is what I said when I said what I said. And then we will have to find out where you two will go later… you cannot stay in the valley.”
Thud drummed his claws on the hard floor of the cave, frowning. “I see. In that case, I don’t suppose there’s anything to eat in here, is there?”
Chomper looked a bit unnerved as he gave Ruby a glance, “Um… you’re hungry already?”
“Well, you were supposed to be lunch,” Screech pointed out matter-of-factly. Noting the young Sharptooth’s frightened expression, he seemed to soften, if only a little.
“But if we ate you now, we’d lose our guides, so… you’re safe.”
“Well that is good to know,” Ruby deadpanned, suddenly more sarcastic than usual, “But you cannot eat people in the valley without having people look for you.”
Chomper suddenly widened his eyes like he remembered something. “Speaking of finding people, Ruby we…”
“Don’t remind me, Chomper, because I don’t want to be reminded. Mr. Domehead needs to lay off of the over-ripe sweet bubbles then they might lay off of him.”
Thud suddenly perked up. An inebriated Domehead was just too perfect a target not to at least acknowledge.
“We could help you with that,” he hissed softly, “we Fastbiters are wonderful trackers.”
Ruby sighed but then gave Chomper a look.
“Alright, but if the valley sees you then you are on your own.”
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“Are all of the children accounted for, dear?”
Ducky suppressed a groan. She loved all of her brothers and sisters, but she did not exactly love keeping track of them all.
Especially the brothers and sisters who had just begun to swim.
“I think I have them all,” she said, gleeful yet clearly exhausted at the same time, “yep, yep, yep!” It was at that moment, however, that she saw Spike’s concerned expression as he tried to block a pair of tiny swimmers from going into the “big swimmer” side of the stream, only to have them begin to climb over him as if he were a rock in the water. “Oh, no, no, no, Trina and Flun! That is for big swimmers!”
Ducky quickly got the two small swimmers off of her brother’s back and nudged them back towards the rest of the little troop of toddlers. She wore a happy expression, as she usually did, but even her patience had limits.
“After this I do not think I want to leave the valley again, Spike. Nope, nope, nope.”
Spike grunted his agreement as he moved to block five more swimmers from going to the deep side of the stream. This left ducky with a brief moment to consider their situation. All of us are working instead of playing, and we are even helping Screech and Thud! How can this day get any worse?
As if to mock her, her mother quickly answered her question.
“You know, one day you'll find a male swimmer who catches your eye. Maybe you'll settle down, have a few dozen kids, and when that day comes, you'll be glad you listened to me…”
Ducky closed her eyes. She just had to ask.
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“Now Mr. Domehead has to be around here somewhere. He cannot stumble as far as he can walk.”
Ruby peeked over a bush, allowing her nostrils to absorb some of the fragrance. However she was quickly finding nothing of interest in the scents echoing in her brain. Just a few territorial claims from threehorns, something that smelled like a cross between a rotting snapping shell, and a fastbiter’s territorial claim...
“Hey, not while I am here!”
The fastrunner jumped out of the way as the green fastbiter responded to nature’s call with all of the subtlety of a thunderstorm. She could only facepalm and shake her head in response.
“Allow me,” Screech announced, stepping over Thud’s mark with all the grace and elegance of a one-legged Yellowbelly, “unlike your sheltered valley sniffer, mine is attuned to scents like these.”
And with that, the fastbiter lifted his pointed snout into the air and took a deep whiff. Almost immediately, he seemed to swoon as his stomach growled.
“Well I’m sure there’s a Domehead scent in there somewhere,” he muttered, trying his best to sort through the onrush of delicious scents.
“Let me try!” a small voice piped up from Ruby’s side. Chomper left the cover of his mentor, standing almost fearlessly next to the much larger Sharptooth. Mimicking Screech’s own posture, he raised his snout to the sky and breathed deeply.
“Waste of time,” Screech grumbled, “too many damn scents and not enough-
“I’ve got it!” Chomper squeaked triumphantly, interrupting an utterly dumbfounded Screech.
Ruby’s eyes brightened as she waved for the two fastbiters to hide in the bushes again, “Where do you smell him, Chomper?”
The young Sharptooth sniffed again, narrowing down his list of options. Furrowing his brow, he said, “I think… somewhere near Mrs. Maia’s nest. The smells are mixing with each other.”
“Showoff,” Screech mumbled just under his breath.
Ruby’s eyes opened up in panic. “Oh no! If he falls on those eggs…”
“Then dinner is served,” Thud said in a voice halfway between a whimper and a sigh. It was hard to miss the abundance of saliva that had gathered about his jaws.
Ruby placed her hands on her hips in a look of motherly indignation. “Now we can’t have the valley seeing you two, or especially Miss Maia! So you two go hide in the Caverns until we take care of this. I don’t know how to explain this to myself so how could I explain this to the valley?”
“Yeah, and maybe if the gang is done with their work then we can help you move?” Chomper added before taking another sniff. “I smell Littlefoot!”
“I smell Littlefoot too,” Thud stated in a conspiratorial whisper, licking his chops.
Ruby rolled her eyes. “I am not surprised, Chomper. Littlefoot lives here.”
Chomper sniffed one more time, wrinkling his snout. “He smells angry, too! Maybe his grandparents gave him a bad punishment?”
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Littlefoot approached the slumped, slumbering, rock-gray form of Mr. Domehead with no small amount of trepidation. It was widely known the ornery old male had a habit of breaking things when he was sweet-sick like this. Usually things that screamed or fought back. Of course, half the time he was just as likely to be the most docile creature in the Valley, less harmful than even the most innocent hatchling. Littlefoot found himself hoping for the latter situation as he drew nearer, trying to approach as quietly as possible.
The domehead snored, seemingly unaware of the longneck behind him or the pile of sticks that he was resting upon. A pile of sticks that Littlefoot would have to move to once again be free from Miss Maia’s demanding work duty. His snores soon became almost melodic in their cadence, but Littlefoot could assign no meaning to them.
“M- Mr. Domehead?” he said, silently cursing himself for not speaking up. Littlefoot held his breath as he took a few steps closer. The domehead smelled like rotten tree sweets and bad decisions.
“Mr. Domehead?” he tried again, speaking louder this time, “hello?”
The domehead snorted and for a moment Littlefoot thought he had succeeded in waking the drunkard. But that was when the melodic snores turned into something else entirely.
“Hell-ro my tree-sweet! Hell-ro my dear… I love your front side… may I see your rear… hic!”
Littlefoot stopped stone cold in his tracks. Something told him his grandparents would not approve of this particular ditty.
“Mr. Domehead!” he yelped, barking out his name as quickly as possible. Still, the old dinosaur barely stirred. Littlefoot looked down at the sticks below him. An idea was beginning to form, and not a particularly good one at that. Some of the sticks were loose, easy to get a hold of, and with just enough force applied to just the right place…
Littlefoot grabbed one of the sticks between his teeth before he could second guess himself. A sharp jab to the flank should do the trick. Perhaps if he ran away in time, he might think it was nothing more than a buzzer sting.
Eyes closed and teeth gritted, Littlefoot did the deed.
The domehead’s eyes rolled open, “Whoa my sweet-pod, aren’t you feisty this morn…” Without any motor control to speak of he promptly began to roll over, sending his tail into the air as his head began to turn towards his unknown attacker. Littlefoot let out a cry of surprise as he jumped back, coming face to face with the Domehead, and his terrible, rank breath.
“Urgh… you not a pretty lady. Hic! No offense, miss.”
It was at this point, when Littlefoot’s patience had dissipated in a sea of exasperation, that he heard sudden movement behind him. Taking a quick look he could see Ruby’s tell-tail pink form and a certain purple sharptooth. The ëguests’ behind them though…
“Sharpteeth!”
The domehead shot up like a geyser spout as he struggled to stay on his feet. For a moment it looked like he was running in place as he half-ran, half-fell in front of his former resting place. But soon he was able to stumble away from the hill with commendable speed, only hitting a few trees on the way towards the center of the valley.
“I told you two not to follow us or you would be seen! And now Mr. Domehead has seen you!”
Littlefoot turned to see a rather angry looking fastrunner glare at the two fastbiters with an almost motherly glare. It was as if Ruby did not care that the two fastbiters were Redclaw’s former underlings and could eat her as a mid-evening snack.
“No witnesses!” Screech crowed, crouching down as he prepared to spring.
“Wait!” Littlefoot and Chomper cried almost immediately as they ran in front of the fastbiters, causing Littlefoot to accidentally trample his friend. The Fast Biters ground to a screeching halt, mere claw-lengths away from trampling their “hosts.”
“What?” Screech hissed, perturbed that a perfectly reasonable kill was now wandering free.
“You two could hide in the Caverns! No one will believe Mr. Domehead!” Came a muffled voice from underneath the longneck’s prone form.
Amazingly enough, Ruby was still dedicated to her task as translator, despite Littlefoot’s obvious discomfort. Glad that he still had some idea of what was being discussed, Littlefoot nodded happily in agreement.
The two fastbiters looked to one another, grumbled something unintelligible, and then glowered down at the young dinosaurs.
“If this really is the best way-” Screech began.
“We’ll do it,” Thud finished.
Ruby was still in full-on mother hen mode as she nodded and waved for them to go back. “Good, now back to the Caverns before dinner. Shooo!”
“Fine,” the two said in unison, looking for all the world like a pair of angsty young adults.
“Um… Ruby?” Littlefoot asked as he and Chomper both rose from the ground.
Ruby turned around looking unconcerned, “Yes, Littlefoot?”
Littlefoot opened his mouth but then looked at Chomper, unsure of how to begin. Thankfully his friend knew the right words to say.
“You just talked to Screech and Thud like you talk to me when I make you mad!”
The fastrunner considered this for a moment as her expressions took on a curious pattern. Shifting first from recognition, and then surprise, followed by fear. Finally though she laughed slightly, realizing that she went so far into ëprotective mother mode’ that she didn’t quite realize who she was talking to. But at least no lasting damage was done.
That was when she felt Chomper tugging at her tail.
“What exactly are we going to give them for dinner?”
Ruby blinked. Shit. Fortunately, Chomper was quick to back her up.
“That won’t be a problem at all! I’m sure there’s loads of fish in the rivers around here. Besides, we only need enough for the two of you,” he added, smiling for the first time at Screech and Thud, “how hard can that be?”
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