The Gang of Five
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To Tread Upon Fields Afar (Updated)

Fyn16 · 82 · 9363

Fyn16

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Sovereign

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All right... This chapter was pretty interesting. The start was great and the suspense in Fyn's dream was built very well. Apparently the rainbowfaces have a longer-term plan in the Valley. Chizel and Yal's characters were introduced pretty quickly but from what we've seen, they're quite decent. It seems that they have different views about Arden's deeds... I can see tension beginning to build among them concerning Fyn and Zaura's journey. I was wondering what you meant by "another presence" in the author's note of Closure.

I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here concerning the rainbowfaces. I must say, they're the thing that I'm most worried about concerning this story. Of course it's just me but I'm usually afraid about things going too scifi-like with the rainbowfaces. But I'm confident there's nothing to be afraid about here. :)




ADFan185

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I agree it was very good and very fun to read. I couldn't stop reading it it's that good. What a fantastic chapter it was. Can't wait to read the next one.


Fyn16

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Morning breaks upon the four travelers and their new charge. As the day begins, fate leads each one on his or her own unique path.

A Morning Walk


Sovereign

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"Zzzzztasty. Chew the bones, don't forget the head-"

He stopped listening.


That scene was hilarious. :DD Sol's subconscious seems to bear some very noble thoughts... Anyway, apart from that, this chapter started the day nicely. There are appearing more and more Dreamers and I cannot help but wonder what makes them that way. LBT 10 implicated all longnecks are Dreamers but that isn't the case here. I'm getting really curious about that... Carmas is "very smooth" in his attempts to get closer to Zaura and I cannot see their relationship ending on a positive note. It'll be interesting to see what Sol will find in the waters and what Rear's whole plan is.

Starwalk is a nice way to deepen the Longnecks' "religion". It seems the walk is rather long and holds many stops. The cleansing part begins this ritual rather well, paving way for a deeper look at their beliefs and traditions. The death cult apparently has developed an extensive network of different preparations for the coming death sentence while disguising it as a "divine quest" of sorts. We'll see what you have in mind but I'm rather sure it's something to look forward to.




Fyn16

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As the morning passes over into the afternoon, Fyn resumes his Starwalk, Zaura becomes acquainted with the herd's deputy, and Sol and Rear start to put their plan into action.

Touching the Stars


ADFan185

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The chapter was good and well written I'm interested in seeing what happens next.


Sovereign

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I cannot help but applaud Zaura for coping with Carmas. That guy is so smooth in his overtures... Anyway, it's nice to see his character has other merits in addition to his will to court Zaura. It seems like the elders haven't managed to keep full control over the herd and there seems to be a distinct reason to keep him around. Zaura is getting far more patient than we saw her in the beginning of the story.

A herd of carnivorous fish as the Jaws of the River makes sense. It's still quite remarkable that they haven't been seen but there's probably a reason for that. Anyway, the scene of Sol escaping them was rather intense and undoubtedly horrifying experience. I'll look forward to seeing how this information will help Fyn.

As for the Starwalk, things are getting rather exciting.  The scene of Fyn seeing Cura talk to her parents was very interesting and deepened her character greatly. Even if there was nothing extraordinary(there could be, who knows?), the scene was a great idea and written just as well. As you said, the Starwalk is getting very interesting.




Fyn16

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Rear and a shell-shocked Sol have a heart-to-heart while Fyn finishes up the last leg of the Starwalk.

Stars and Their Complexities



Sovereign

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I posted this review already on fanfiction but I figured I might as well put it in here also.


This just keeps getting better and better. Sol and Rear's conversation was written incredibly and it was an emotional dive into the duo's relationship. Even if the shown visions of afterlife mirror actual beliefs closely, they were transferred rather fluidly to suit the universe's needs. Sol's fear and Rear's way of reassuring him in that scene were spot-on. They way you create new aspects into the world while deepening the characters' relationships is awesome.

And the latter part of the chapter wasn't any worse. Fyn and Cura's relationship seems to be growing closer and Fyn's deep concern for her is a rather new characteristic. I have to wonder if Fyn actually had any hope that he was actually speaking to his parents or whether he saw the Starwalk as a mandatory ritual in the end. I'd say his opinion about it evolved during the day... And the role of the rainbowfaces in the whole Dreamer concept is thus far done cleverly. I would like to get the same answers Fyn looks for but that'll probably still take time :)




Fyn16

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It is now two days before Fyn's Crossing. long term plans are finally enacted, while unbeknownst to the little herd, a pair of visitors makes their way toward the Oasis.

Back to the River


Fyn16

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Fyn and Cura finish their Dream while Sol and Zaura have a rather important talk.

Back to the Shore


Sovereign

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Three chapters this close to each other! Very nice...

First of all, I'm surprised and happy to see Cera and Chomper again! I had assumed that their part was over but I'm glad that I was wrong. I'm confident they'll bring up some interesting dynamics especially later on. Their meeting with Fyn and Cura was just great... using Adventuring was a priceless idea :) The rest of the scene was executed nicely and it established the two into Fyn's storyline and we'll see where that develops.

The Dreaming is getting very exciting. It must have been traumatic to Cura see everything they saw and I must say, that scene was very well done. Some parts of the mystery have been confirmed but the greater puzzle is getting thicker. I can't wait to see what happens during the next Dreaming! The mystery with the Valley is getting really intense.

The plan to distract the fish is underway. Unfortunately, I fear that the Crossing won't be that easy, especially so with the Elder's plan. They're truly living up to the praise they're giving credit in the herd(or not). The day of the Crossing is going to be a mess and most likely a bloody one.

The Sol/Zaura part escalated quickly. I must say, I hadn't really considered them prospective mates for obvious reasons. I'm still not convinced that would work but those prospects are ruined, perhaps for good. I really enjoyed the duo's antics and dialogue in Back to the Shore. Also, the Sol/Rear dialogue has been really good all the time, especially the last one brought new features from their personalities. As for Sol's revelation, the scene was just as sudden and confused as it had to. Sol's fear and Zaura's feeling of betrayal were tangible and I can only dread what Fyn will think of this development. I fear there might be an all-out conflict inside the small herd. At least Zaura and Sol's relationship has been ruined for the foreseeable future.

All in all, these three chapters were amazing! All of the main developments were meaningful and the future seems very interesting if concerning. I cannot even guess what to expect in the next chapter but you've certainly managed to make me hyped for it!




Fyn16

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[[Content Warning]]

The following chapter contains graphic depictions of a violent nature and a particularly disturbing scene. For additional details, please see the Author's Warning at the chapter's beginning.

Carmas escorts Zaura to the white tree grove as Sol desperately searches for her to make amends. Meanwhile, Fyn and Cura begin their search for answers as they return once more to the valley with the red sky...

Shattered Dreams


Fyn16

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In the wake of Carmas's vile act, Fyn, Sol, Rear, Cera, and Chomper must regroup and plan their next move, all the while preparing to perform the duty Fyn remains bound to: the Crossing.

Paths Diverge


Fyn16

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The hour has arrived. With Zaura missing and little time to spare, Fyn and the others must finally cross the river, and meet the elders' machinations head-on.

The Crossing


Fyn16

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As Zaura teeters closer and closer to the brink of death, help presents itself in the most unlikely of forms. Whether this help is willing to take on a dying dinosaur or not, however, is another matter entirely.

Winged Salvation


Fyn16

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With a new herd and a new chance at life, Zaura must bring herself back to reality, while coping with the nightmarish murk of her fragmented memories. Meanwhile, Kotres prepares to move his herd out, and the concealed Sharpteeth must make a decision.

New Management


Fyn16

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As the sun rises above an eerily silent Great Valley, two mysterious Rainbowfaces sneak into its walls, their motives unclear.

Thieves in Paradise