Bad Baby Names

[Serris]

What is it with celebrities (and increasingly) average people giving their children bizarre names?

I mean look at some of the names:

Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii

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Celebs have their own f---ing category:

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

Petal Rainbow Blossom

Buddy Bear Maurice

Pilot Inspektor Lee (Last name is Lee)

Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette (Last name is Jillette)

Fifi Trixibelle

Peaches Honeyblossom

Little Pixie

Zuma Nesta Rock

Rebel

Racer

Rogue

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And seriously, I have seen some horrible names in my own life. Note, these are their real names; I did not make any of these up.

Muffin Lord - Dean of a college that I visited. I first thought some pranksters had gotten to the reception before we did.

Korvette - Cross-country runner at a meet I did in high school. How appropriate.

Khaki - Girl I once met for a study group in health psych with.

Denim - See "Khaki"

Jade - Okay, this is not that bad but I saw it on a guy.

Gypsy Blue - Someone from my old school system.

Zu Zu - See Gypsy Blue

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And for your perusal:

List of horrid baby names from new mothers

Worst Baby Names

The legendary list of s----y baby names

My "best of the worst" from all three of them: Diesel; Rocket; Ranger; Gunner; Fidelis; Hunter Maverick Maarten

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Seriously, some of these names would fit in perfectly with the entrant list at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.

Compare Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (celeb baby) with Gaelforce Post Script (1995 Best in Show winner of the Westminster Kennel Club)

See a difference? I sure as hell don't.

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Here are two tests to make sure that your child's name will not get them laughed at. Do both for maximum accuracy.

Test one: "And the winner of Best in Show at the 2011 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is [insert baby name here]."

If the announcement sounds like something that you would really hear at that show. Pick another name.

Test two: "Our speaker for today's synopsium is the famed microbiologist Dr. [insert baby name here]."

If you snicker, facepalm or have similar reactions - pick a different name.

And finally two public service announcements:

 
One: Make your the name you chose for child will not get them laughed at.

Two: The horse racing section of the newspaper and the list of entrants at the Crufts Dog Show are inappropriate places to pick baby names.

[Saft]

I had to laugh at the 'Muffin Lord' one...brilliant...

Anyway....i think that calling children those types of names is a form of child cruelty.  I believe that there was a child in NZ or Australia who was given a stupid name like the above and the parents were forced to change it.  However, the celebrity culture of the western world allows these people to believe that they are gods and that they can get away with anything.  So of course, further idiots decide to style the influence that these 'celebrities' have brought and adopt the same naming system as their 'idols'.  It is fairly sickening.

[DarkHououmon]

I had to laugh at the 'Muffin Lord' one...brilliant...

Yeah, that made me laugh too. First thought that came to my mind was "That's a name befitting for Derpy Hooves from MLP".

[Saft]

Kacie: actually my thought was that the person had a cape and sceptor.

[Petrie.]

Best one I ever heard:  kid was named Nasmoking.  Mother happened to see a "no smoking" sign in the hospital.

[Malte279]

Over here there are certain regulations preventing parents from torturing their kids with a traumatizing name.

[Petrie.]

You know what I saw one time, while we're on the subject.  I think it was in the U.S. - some parents named their child Adolf Hitler and went through a fiasco trying to get a bakery to make a cake that said "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler".  What were those parents thinking?

[aabicus (LettuceBacon&Tomato)]

Cracked has a great article on celebrity baby names: The 20 most bizarre celebrity baby names

I lost the science fair to a girl named Virginia Dick, and for a future teachers program I taught a class with a girl named Shelley Condom, but neither of those are really the parent's fault. I don't really know anyone with a real-life bad name.

[Cancerian Tiger]

You know what I saw one time, while we're on the subject.  I think it was in the U.S. - some parents named their child Adolf Hitler and went through a fiasco trying to get a bakery to make a cake that said "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler".  What were those parents thinking?

Even worse, his sister was named Aryan Race .

Don't get me wrong, I embrace creativity and individualism, even going so far as to spell existing names differently to give them some diversity.  For example, a recurring character in many of my stories is named Madison but I spell her name Madissyne to make it more unique .  However, when getting creative with names, one must keep the name not only humane but also cool and not embarrassing.

[vonboy]

In southern Texas, a lot of people know of a girl from the old Varner Hogg manor (It was a slaved plantation that was turned into a state park).

Her name was Ima Hogg.

[kjeldo]

Quite a funny name here is: jan naaktgeboren (Jack Bornnaked)!

[pokeplayer984]

                       

I don't think I can fill this screen with enough of those smilies to show how stupid I think these people are.

*joke*Now, if you don't mind, I have to find some way to pass a law that will make them unable to EVER name any children EVER again.

IT'S FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY!!!*/joke*

All joking aside, this just PROVES some people should NEVER be parents.

[Almaron]

If you ask me, people should save such silly names for their pets, cause they won't mind what they're called, and people won't necessarily tease them for it. It might even suit them (well, provided people didn't go too over the top stupid with their names)!

I mean, one time I was looking through a list of names for some reason (might have been toying with an OC design or something), and I ran into a few odd ones that I liked the sound of, like Aethelwulf. No way on earth could I ever name a kid that! But it would work as a dog's name easily.

[2007excalibur2007]

I had to laugh at the 'Muffin Lord' one...brilliant...

Yeah, that made me laugh too. First thought that came to my mind was "That's a name befitting for Derpy Hooves from MLP".

Muuuufffiiiinnss.

[jansenov]

Hey, check this out. It looks like some of our little heroes have their namesakes! Somebody decided to name their children after Petrie, Ducky and Spike. Now, Petrie (like "little Peter") sounds like an OK name for a human to me, Ducky is iffy and Spike is definitely not a good name. Still, not as outrageous as the names listed above.

[Petrie85]

Yeah some of those names sounds alright. Not great names but they're okay.

[Serris]

Oh, I also found a lawyer with the name Tennessee W. Walker.

A Tennessee Walker is a breed of horse.

What were his parents thinking!?

[MrDrake]

Hehe, Muffin Lord XD

Over here in New Zealand, I believe someone named their baby "Number 18 Bus Shelter" or something similar to that.

[Petrie85]

I found a person to be names Fred Fuchs I mean come on now Why name your child fuchs.

[Serris]

For MLP: FiM fans:

There are 2 people in the US with the name Applejack.

Someone encountered a woman named "Rarity"
Someone encountered a woman named "Rarity"

And of course, who could forget Kim Fluttershy Dikas and Rainbow Aleksi Dash? Although to be fair, they chose those names.

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