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The Land Before Time: Red Skies

Achillobator

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It's work in progess. This fanfic is about my character Max and all the others that revolve around him. All original characters and situations are © to me.
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The Land Before Time: Red Skies

   The winds blew harsh that day in the great valley. They seemed exceptionally strong today, whipping across the lands with great fury. Littlefoot braced himself against the winds as he sat with his friends. Petrie, who had been resting on Spike’s back, was blown back when a tree star collided with him.

“Oh, why the winds so strong today?”

   “I dunno. It does look like we will get some sky water, though,” Littlefoot said, staring up at the black, murky skies.  A flash of lightning and roar of thunder confirmed this. It started with a little trickle, and then turned into a barrage of heavy rain drops. The young ones could hear the calls of their parents. The said there goodbyes and went off. Littlefoot ran for the cover of the trees near his grandparents as he watched the skies. Lightning once more streaked across the black canvas. Littlefoot lay down and hoped the skies would clear. Though he couldn’t see it, it was getting late and he needed to get some sleep.

   Sleep, though, was hard to get with loud thunder claps scaring you awake. Littlefoot got up with a start and stared up at the skies through the tree tops. He expected to see nothing but black clouds contrasting against bright flashes. It was what he saw, but there was something more. A dark shape among the lightning glided across the clouds which mad Littlefoot gasp. He stared in wonder as the shape seemed to disappear once more into the dark. The young longneck kept his gaze fixed upwards hoping to see more, but there was nothing. No more signs of this dark figure.  Had he imagined it? No, he was sure it was real. Never the less, it was gone now. There was no reason for him to watch any longer. He lowered his head, his mind thinking about what could have been concealed in the darkness of the clouds.

The next morning, he told his friends what he had seen. Soon, they all begin to throw in their ideas of what it could be.

”Maybe it was a flying sharptooth!” Ducky thought out loud. Petrie began to tremble at the thought.

“Flying sharptooth?! Here in the Great Valley?!” He whimpered as his hid behind Littlefoot’s leg.

“I don’t think it was a flying sharptooth, Petrie. You can relax,” Littlefoot said to comfort the little flyer.

“Maybe you were just imagining things!” The cynical threehorn added, “I mean, it was dark and there were flashes! Maybe you say a shadow or something.”

“Maybe,” Littlefoot replied, feeling silly for getting all worked up about such a silly thing.   Suddenly, Petrie had an idea

“What if it were another flyer!” He exclaimed, excited at the idea that another flyer would be here in the great valley. They all seemed to think about it.
“Well, it would make more sense than a flying sharptooth,” Cera added. Spike murmured in agreement.

“Do you think the grown-ups know that there might be another flyer here?” Littlefoot wondered.

“Probably not. They were all asleep, weren’t they?” Cera answered.
“Do you think we should tell them?”

“Who cares, what does it matter anyways? It’s not like he’s bothering us.”

“I just think it might be a good idea if they know we have company,” The long neck and the three horn argued back and forth. After what seemed to be a few long moments, they finally stopped. Cera stomped her foot and said, “Fine, if you want to, go tell the grown-ups. What do I care! Hmph!” She stuck up her nose in a very snobby manner. Littlefoot then took off, going to find his grandparents.

“Grandma, Grandpa!” Littlefoot called out.

“What’s the matter Littlefoot? Is something wrong?” His grandmother asked. The young longneck shook his head.

“No. But I think we have a visitor in the Great Valley! He, or she, came last night during the storm. Have you seen them?” The little longneck asked excitedly.

“No,” Grandma said, “We haven’t seen a sign of anyone new.”

“Even so, if someone did come to the great valley, they will make themselves known when they feel comfortable” Grandpa said, adding his old knowledge to the conversation.

“I guess you’re right. I probably just got a little excited, that’s all.”

“It’s alright. Sometimes it’s fun to meet new people. It’s a chance to make new friends!” Grandpa said, nuzzling his grandson, “Now, go on and play with your friends. If we see this guest, we’ll be sure to introduce you.” Littlefoot nodded, and with that, he took off back to where he was last playing with his friends.

Another day had passed and the great circle disappeared, giving way to the night circle. Unlike the last night, the sky was calm today. It had vented it’s anger and now everything was calm and peaceful. Littlefoot still had trouble sleeping. His mind had not been put to ease, and he didn’t feel like he would be able to calm down until he met this possible friend.

He stood up and walked away from his nest. Maybe a nice walk would help calm him down. He didn’t go far until he saw a figure perched upon a large rock. The longneck approached the figure who didn’t seem to notice him. The figure was clearly a flyer, like Petrie said.

“Hello,” Littlefoot said politely. The stranger lifted his head as if he was pulled from some deep thought and looked back at the young on.

“Greetings,” He replied in a voice that was quite alluring, yet something about it seemed very dark.

“My name is Littlefoot.”

“Call me Max.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you make, sir.” He said, trying to remember to be polite to the older creature. Littlefoot’s eyes examined Max. They observed every detail, like the red streak down his crest, the ash grey colours of his wings, and the look of youthful maturity in his eyes. The little longneck’s eyes fixed upon a scar that trailed down his back. He gasped.

“W-what happened?” He asked, curiously. The flyer showed off his scar as if it were a medal. He smiled in a proud, mischievous way.

“I Got it from one of those flashes. Tried flying in the white puffies during a storm. This is the result. I’m lucky I’m alive. That was a long time ago, though.” He stared, but he seemed to be somewhere else, somewhere deep within his mind.

“Wow,” was all Littlefoot managed to say for a while, but then he spoke again, “You’re new here, right? Why not introduce yourself to everyone! I am sure they will be glad to meet you.”

“I dunno if that will be such a good idea.”

“It will be fine. Come on, tomorrow, meet me here and I’ll show you around!” The flyer couldn’t help but smile at the long neck’s hospitality. He pondered the thought and said, “Oh, alright. I’ll do it, but you should get some sleep if you want to be awake tomorrow to show me.” Littlefoot nodded and said goodnight. He left and soon was back in his nest. He closed his eyes, excited about what tomorrow will bring.


Achillobator

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Yeah, it must suck to read that, eh? Sorry guys. I'll try to fix it.


Manny Cav

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That was actually really well-written. My only gripe is related to the story, where Petrie is misrepresented as the only flyer in the valley, when there are several others there. Otherwise, good, solid start. I'm also picky about paragraph spacing, punctuation, quotes, spacing, capitalization, and all of that stuff. I won't read even a really good story if it is constructed poorly, but I see none of that in your work. Excellent job! Will there be more to come?

And, just so you know, it's longneck, not long neck. ;)


Kor

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I enjoyed it.  The only problem I noticed were 2 misspellings, but that is pretty minor.  Overall looks like a well written story, hope you continue.


Achillobator

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Quote from: Manny Cav,Nov 5 2007 on  11:40 PM
That was actually really well-written. My only gripe is related to the story, where Petrie is misrepresented as the only flyer in the valley, when there are several others there. Otherwise, good, solid start. I'm also picky about paragraph spacing, punctuation, quotes, spacing, capitalization, and all of that stuff. I won't read even a really good story if it is constructed poorly, but I see none of that in your work. Excellent job! Will there be more to come?

And, just so you know, it's longneck, not long neck. ;)
I actually never specified how many fliers there are in the valley. I just stated Petrie thought it was another flyer. I would think that being Pterano's nephew, he would like to meet other flyers :p

And the longneck thing is probably the result of MS Word's spell check >.>



Also, if there are any mistakes, please don't be shy to tell me about them!


Kor

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I would think Petrie would be happy to meet another flier.  It seems like a natural reaction to me.


Manny Cav

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Quote from: Achillobator,Nov 6 2007 on  02:09 PM
And the longneck thing is probably the result of MS Word's spell check >.>
I can tell you with a certainty that MS Word's spellchecker can actually get you in more trouble than it helps, especially when you use enter to make your sentences into shorter lines. :rolleyes:



Malte279

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Interesting. I'm looking forward to read the next chapter which you already posted. I am curious to see what kind of character Max will turn out to be. It would be interesting to get to know a little more about his looks apart from the scar. How old is he? More like Littlefoot's grandparents' generation or Pterano's age group?


Kor

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Or is he a middle aged adult, or a youngish adult, or indeterminate like Doc.  Plus some other questions as well.


The Great Valley Guardian

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This first chapter was a really good read! I look forward to the next chapter!


Achillobator

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Well, I would say he is a young adult age. In human years he may be in his twenties or thirties at the most.

and you have questions, ask so I can answer and improve :p


landbeforetimelover

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Quote
And the longneck thing is probably the result of MS Word's spell check >.>

Well, if you want to change that, open a blank word document and type "Littlefoot" minus the quotations and then right click it and click "add to dictionary".  Then it'll never tell you it's wrong or correct it again. :D

Oh, and I can't give you my opinion on the story cuz I'm on a cell phone.  Reading is not too pleasurable if ya know what I mean. :rolleyes:


Kor

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I can imagine.  I don't think it would be easy to web surf on such a tiny screen.


Manny Cav

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Quote from: landbeforetimelover,Nov 7 2007 on  07:46 PM
Quote
And the longneck thing is probably the result of MS Word's spell check >.>

Well, if you want to change that, open a blank word document and type "Littlefoot" minus the quotations and then right click it and click "add to dictionary".  Then it'll never tell you it's wrong or correct it again. :D

Oh, and I can't give you my opinion on the story cuz I'm on a cell phone.  Reading is not too pleasurable if ya know what I mean. :rolleyes:
The word MS Word was giving him beef over was "longneck," not "Littlefoot." Cell phone resolution must really whomp. :p


Achillobator

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get off your phone maybe :p

Oh, and I can promise there will be two more pictures of characters from this story ;3


when you'll see them, I don't know!


Sky

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Can't wait to see them. :D

I've read your story (and the other one in the other thread).
I must say, it is really good and "mysterious". Just the things I like.  :lol:

Can't wait for the next chapter. =)


Achillobator

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Part 2

 The next morning found many of the dinosaurs in the valley gathered together. They have gotten word of the new comer in the valley. The all stood there, conversing among themselves. It wasn’t long before a dark figure circled above them. The flyer spiralled down and landed among the middle of the group. Littlefoot walked up beside Max and said, “Everyone, I’d like to introduce Max”

“Hello everyone,” Max said, waving at the others. His greeting was met only by chatter among themselves. Finally grandma longneck walked up to littlefoot and the flyer.

“Welcome to the Great Valley, friend. What is ours is yours.”

“Thank you very much. It’s a very lovely valley,” Max said, trying to be as polite as possible. He was about to say more but he was cut off.

“Now hold on just a minute. I have a question,” The old threehorn, Topsy, began, “why didn’t you show yourself until now? What are you hiding?” The threehorn gave him a harsh, intimidating glare. Max returned the gesture, frowning at the accusation. He then calmly responded, “I am hiding nothing. I just didn’t feel like making a big fuss about things, although it seems that can’t be helped now.” Topsy snorted aggressively.

“There’s something I don’t trust about him. He’s no good, I can tell!” the stubborn dinosaur replied. Cera jumped in, taking her father’s side as usual.

“Yeah!”

“Now, now, there is no reason to start a fight. Some people simply like their space, that’s all, and we respect that,” Grandpa stepped in, trying to bring order back to this conversation. Topsy snorted once more and kept silent. Max turned his head away. He turned it towards Littlefoot’s grandpa as he approached.

“As Grandma said, you are welcome amongst us”

“Thank you. Thank you very much,” Max replied. The rest of the day was spent with introductions and all kinds of stories. Max told them of many adventures he had growing up. He took to the air, demonstrating his elite flying skills. He soared, spiralled, looped, barrel-rolled, and preformed many other aerial stunts. His movements were very fluid and very well calculated. His fluid motions looked like a leaf blowing about in a breeze. Some other flyers came up to join him, but none could match the precision flying of the Max. Those stuck on the ground stared in awe as the flyer danced through the sky. A red streak on the flyer’s crest seemed to snake around the sky. Max finally stopped and perched himself upon a branch. The youngsters came up to him, admiring the graceful beast.

“You fly so wonderful! It was amazing!” Petrie exclaimed, catching his breath after an attempt to mimic Max. Max merely chuckled at the comment and said, “That’s why I was the best flyer in my herd!” He stood proudly as he felt his old life surging back to him. The young flyers that gathered were hypnotized by the charisma this creature seemed to possess.

“You were the best in your herd?!”

“That’s right. The best flyer my herd has ever seen!”

“Wow! What happened? Why aren’t you still with your herd?”

That last question seemed to tap some deep, hidden wound. The flyer was silent. His pride seemed to shatter and his bright eyes grew dark. He finally broke the short silence, “Let’s just say something bad happened,” He replied.
“Something bad? Like what?”

“I have to go,” Max said as he took to the air once more. He said goodbye to the children and flew off. The young ones sat there confused at what had just taken place.

“What was that about?” Cera said the words everyone was thinking. Littlefoot only shook his head and said, “I don’t know, but it sure seemed upset.” The group of young dinosaurs sat there silent, pondering what could have possibly caused the flyer’s attitude to change so drastically.

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Moved it here, so the other board will just disappear and we will only be left with one :p Part 3 coming up!


Achillobator

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Part 3

As the days passed, the habitants of the Great Valley got used to the presence of the new flyer, and the excitement of the mysterious flyer died down. Soon, Max was just another friend in the valley. The flyer would have had it no other way. He enjoyed the humble, peaceful life of the valley. Of course, there were some suspicions and chattering going on behind his back, but he paid it no mind.

For the children, life had also returned back to normal. Within no time, they were back to playing their old games and having fun, like children should. One particular day, though, seemed to break the monotony. The gang was playing tag as they always tend to do. Ducky was the one who was it, and she was in pursuit of Petrie and Cera. Littlefoot and Spike followed behind, watching the several attempts by Ducky to tag the two. They were all having fun with their game, until something alarming happened. The ground beneath the young one’s feet began to quake and split. Their joyful laughter turned into horrified screams as the scrambled to get away.  For Ducky, Cera, and Petrie, the situation only became direr.  A large crevice appeared in the ground, separating the gang. On one side, at the boundaries of the Mysterious Beyond and the Great Valley was  Ducky, Cera, and Petrie.  Littlefoot and Spike were on the opposite end.

“Littlefoot, spike! HELP!” Cera screamed from across the cavernous divide. Littlefoot looked around at anything that may be used as a bridge, but found nothing.

“Wait there! I’ll go get help!” He said. He and Spike took off to where the grownups may be found.  The two ran as fast as their legs would carry them. After what seemed to be ages, the grown up were in sight.

“Grandma! Grandpa!” Littlefoot called to them. At the sound of their desperate Grandchild’s cries, the couple walked over to Littlefoot and Spike

“Littlefoot, are you alright! What’s wrong?” They had both felt the earthshake, and with Littlefoot’s behaviour, they began to suspect something was wrong.

“Petrie, Ducky, and Cera are trapped on the other side of a giant land break! We have to help them, quick!” He said, panting, trying to catch his breath.

“What?! Did you say my Cera’s in trouble!” Topsy cut in, walking towards the group.

“And my Petrie?!”

“And Ducky too?”

All of the concerned parents began to gather. Littlefoot nodded his head in response to all those questions and said, “Yes, they’re not that fair from here! Come on!” Grandpa longneck looked towards Petrie’s mother and said, “If they are unreachable by land, we may need some help. Go find some other flyers and meet us there.”  She nodded. With that, the group was off, a worried Littlefoot leading the way.


Meanwhile, back at the gorge, the three young dinosaurs were screaming as loud as they can for help. Had they been more aware of their surroundings, they would have noticed a large hole in the mountain side that was carved out by the earthshake. They would have also noticed that the hole led straight into the mysterious beyond. If they noticed those two things, they would have also noticed the danger they were in, for their pleas did not go unheard.

“Cera! Ducky! Petrie! We’re coming!” Littlefoot called out. The trio looked over the cliff.

“Littlefoot! You did it!” Cera called out. Grandpa then cut in, “Don’t you worry, Petrie’s mother has gone to get help. You’ll be safe before you know it. There is no need to panic!” Of course, the old longneck didn’t know how wrong he was. Several squawking noises could be heard. They were faint, but getting closer. Soon, several stray ichthyornis were circling above the three young ones. It was obvious they were here for a snack. Cera, Duckie and Petrie all screamed simultaneously as the primitive birds swarmed closer for their snack.

“Oh no!” Grandma longneck cried as all she was able to do was watch helplessly. Petrie’s mother returned with another Flyer. She watched in horror as her son would soon be eaten. She tried to get to the children, but the ravenous flock swarmed her and ended up driving her off.  She flew back to the others.

“It’s no use; I can’t get to the children with those things there! Oh, what are we going to do!” she cried, distraught at the thought that her child was doomed.  All seemed lost as the flock began to swarm the children, when a familiar, yet unusually strange voice called out.

“Just leave it to me!” Max said as he flew by the grownups. His voice seemed different. It was full of confidence and strength, rather than his usual sweet, humble tone. He rushed towards the flock and the children.
“Hold on! I’m coming!”

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I wanted to leave you in suspense :p Hope you continue to enjoy it!


Achillobator

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Part 4

Max flew right into the horde of Ichthyornis. The flock now turned their attention towards the flyer. Max had doubled back and dove towards the winged terrors. He cut through their group once more like a knife. Soon the birds were after him. They followed him close, as he played an aerial follow the leader.

“Now’s your chance!” He called out to the grownups. Petrie’s mother knew just what to do. She took off, flying towards the stranded children. The other Flyer followed suit. They managed to make it to the other end now that the ichthyornis were distracted. The children were watching the aerial combat in amazement.

“Come on, children!” Petrie’s mother called. They snapped out of the trance that fixed their eyes to the battle. The children ran other to the two flyers and climbed on their back; Petrie and ducky rode on Petrie’s mother, while Cera rode on the back of the other flyer. The two soon took off, back towards the other grownups.

The birds soon noticed their lunch was getting away. The enraged creatures began to fly towards the Flyer’s with their precious cargo. Max recklessly tried to keep the attention on him. He flew back into the swarm of ichthyornis, resulting in many scratches and cuts from sharp talons and beaks. He was now completely covered by winged demons. Through the flurry of feathers, he saw they children were all safe. He desperately broke from the flock and dived towards the grownups. His landing was not graceful as he crashed to the ground under Grandpa Longneck. His part was over, and now the grownups were left to scare away the ichthyornis. The flock was hungry, but knew better than to attack a full herd of dinosaurs. They squawked angrily and flew off. Max noticed they left. With a smile on his face he collapsed and soon slipped into unconsciousness due to fatigue and stress.


When the flyer awoke a short time later, he noticed he was no longer near the large split in the ground. Instead he was in the middle of Littlefoot’s nest. He shook his head, trying to completely wake up. He looked around and noticed many faces, heavy with expression. Some faces showed concern, others amazement, and many more wore smiles of relief and joy. Max slowly got up and looked at the group around him.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you so much for helping save our children!” Petrie’s mother said, embracing the other flyer in a tight hug. Max grinned sheepishly and he replied modestly, “It was nothing, really. I just did what I had to.” He turned his attention to the large threehorn who walked towards him.

“If it wasn’t for you, my Cera may not have been here today. I thank you, and apologize for the way I acted before,” Topsy said regretfully. It stung him deeply to have to admit he was wrong. Max only smiled and replied, “It’s alright. Don’t worry about it, big guy.”

“You fly amazingly, Mr. Max!” Petrie said as he fluttered around his saviour.

“You did, you did!” Ducky added on. Max grinned broadly at the compliment. Grandma longneck walked up to the children.

“Alright now, let’s leave him be. It’s been a long day for all of us. It’s late, and we should all get some rest. Max, you are welcome to rest here for the night.” Grandma invited. Max simply replied with a nod. Everyone said their goodbyes and departed for their nests. Only Max, Littlefoot, and his grandparent had remained and they soon fell into slumber.  

In the middle of the night, Littlefoot had a hard time sleeping. He began to roll around in his spot. The longneck’s eyes opened as he gave up on trying to sleep. It appeared he was the only one who couldn’t sleep. Max was awake as well, and he sat there, staring at the moon. Littlefoot approached Max, for there was something that was on his mind. The flyer noticed the young one approaching him.

“Oh Littlefoot, what are you doing up?” He asked curiously.

“I couldn’t sleep, you?”

“Ah. Same.”

“Hey Max, there is something I wanted to ask you. Why did you leave your old herd? What happened? Was it bad?” The curious longneck asked. Max remained silent for a moment, pondering whether to reveal his secret to the longneck or not. He finally sighed and spoke.

“I used to have many friends in my old herd. One day, I had none. I was betrayed, Littlefoot.” Those were the only words to have left the flyer’s beak.

“Betrayed?” Littlefoot said astonished. He would never think that one’s friends would betray another. Max only nodded

“Yes, betrayed. Now, I think it’s time for you to go to sleep.” He said, Littlefoot nodded and curled up. He tried to fall asleep, but his attempt was unsuccessful. Max began to sing a gentle lullaby, coaxing the young dinosaur into the deep chambers of slumber. He sang of flying high and of golden skies. The song played out as a story in Littlefoot’s head, and after a yawn the longneck was soon sleeping. Max finished singing and took one last look at the great night circle before falling asleep himself.