Dangerous Times

[Hypno]

Hello everyone. I decided to write a story about The Land Before Time and publish my first ever fanfiction (well, not the first, but I'm not even gonna get started talking about those monstrosities!).

This story takes place a couple of months after the events of The Land Before Time XIV: Journey of the Brave. If there is a fifteenth movie that is fine. Take a read anyways

Fanfiction.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12594177/1/Dangerous-Times

Chapter 1: A Somewhat Normal Day

It is a normal day, unlike any other day in the Great Valley. Well, aside from the many issues in the last few years since the herds discovered it. The sky was blue, there was not a cloud in the sky, and dawn had just ended, and it is no fully daytime. Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie and Spike were playing around the fields of the Valley, chasing each other. They were playing a game they had created not long after they discovered their fertile paradise. It is known as "Sharptooth Attack".

"Grrrr! I am being very scary, yep yep yep!" Ducky says. She was having a lot of fun playing as the sharptooth.

"Please no play as sharptooth from back when we look for Saurus Rock!" Petrie says. The gang wonder why he asks this. Why would he ask such a question? It isn't like the sharptooth was much a threat compared to Sharptooth himself, or the sharptooth that had plates on its back, back when they had visited Chomper accidentally on the Mysterious Island.

"Why ask that, Petrie? It isn't like he was much of - a threat, was he?" Littlefoot struggles to finish. He remembers when he had to literally enter the sharptooth's mouth (which he thought was dead, it fell into the canyon when it was attacking them), and pry a stick into its mouth. This was in order to get one of its teeth to fix Saurus Rock, the reason being Littlefoot was fixed on the belief that Bad Luck had struck the Valley that day. He remembers it nearly eating him. He remembers it chasing him, and then…

He was suddenly interrupted by Petrie, who had finally decided to answer him.

"Well, me had bad sleep story last night. It scary. Me no know why me have such sleep story. Only me know it lot bigger!" Petrie explains, telling them that it was much bigger than the time when they had actually encountered the browridge sharptooth a number of times.

"Hmm. Well then, it sure is strange that you'd have some kind of sleep story like that, isn't it?" Cera asks, trying to get Petrie to explain further.

"Well, me no know." Petrie says, stopping her there. He simply does not have a clue as to why he had the story, and the gang continue playing.

Meanwhile, Chomper and Ruby are off exploring some caves around the Secret Caverns (haven't seen every TV series episode, so I might miss some stuff)

"I haven't seen Red Claw in a while, have you Chomper?" Ruby asks to the young sharptooth.

"I haven't either, Ruby. Maybe he finally stopped chasing everyone away from the Great Valley, as well as his fast biters!" Chomper says, slowly getting more excited, as he believes that Red Claw and his fast biters have finally left.

"I am starting to take back what I said about Red Claw being the biggest and meanest sharptooth of them all. After hearing those stories Grandpa Longneck told us, and after seeing that sharptooth back when the Cold Time had ended, I really think Red Claw is pitiful, to say the least." Chomper says as he reconsiders his statement of Red Claw being the "Biggest and Meanest Sharptooth of them all". The two continue walking through the caves. They find it soothing down there, surprisingly, as hearing the slight dripping of the water from the last sky water fall is very relaxing.

Meanwhile, over at the Rock Circle, the Great Valley population are planning their strategies for surviving the coming heat and blistering summer ahead of them. Bron's herd had left soon after his rescue, though they did hang around for a few days, but that was back in March. It is now far into May, and the temperatures in the Valley are starting to rise quicker than usual.

At the Circle, Grandpa Longneck, being one of the oldest and wisest of the dinosaurs living here, tells them to drink plenty of water, and make sure to avoid too much exposure to the sun. Even Mr. Threehorn, who often disagrees to a lot of things the old longneck says, agrees with this obvious advice.

Later, Littlefoot decides to head over to the Rock Circle, and says bye to his friends.

"Bye, guys!" he says to them. "Bye, see you later Littlefoot!" they all say together. The little longneck smiles as he runs towards down the Valley.

It is almost time for the far-walkers to visit as well, Ali's herd makes a yearly trip in the late Spring. Littlefoot makes his way to the Circle, as a Flyer makes an announcement. It is Petrie's mother, known as Mama Flyer.

"Just so everyone knows, some far-walkers will be making a visit here soon. Some of you longnecks may know them, as they are your cousins." Mama Flyer announces, mainly focusing on Littlefoot's grandparents, and other longnecks who have gathered, as well as a smirking male adult Camarasaurus known as Cam.

Though everything seems to be going okay in the Great Valley on this day, things are about to get much worse...

That was the first chapter. It is not as long as the rest are going to be (it is only around 1000 words), but it is just to give you guys an idea of what is to come. Things are gonna get worse soon, I guarantee you, there are going to be a combination of things that are going to strike terror in the hearts of the herds

[Sovereign]

Well, this was a short but decent beginning to this story. The premise sounds pretty interesting and it holds a lot of potential and this chapter started to build upon that nicely. Even then, the descriptions were rather short and they could have been made more powerful with expanded focus on them. The dialogue was mostly believable and it made the point you were striving for. However, the sentence " After hearing those stories Grandpa Longneck told us, and after seeing that sharptooth back when the Cold Time had ended, I really think Red Claw is pitiful, to say the least." doesn't sound too natural. We have seen what you think about Red Claw but Chomper still most likely fears him. After all, Red Claw has nearly killed the Gang for numerous times! It is Chomper who's talking, not the author.

Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of potential in this story and this chapter started to build foundations on it, even if some elements of the writing could be improved. I'll eagerly see where you'll go with this one!

[Hypno]

Yeah...the second chapter should be an improvement I took some more time with it. I might post it tomorrow.
It is a bit longer and has more stuff happening in it. I'm also planning on being more descriptive (I should have described Cam's appearance, should go do that now before publishing)

Thanks for the feedback
This story is going to register for the fanfic voting, and I decided "hey, there might be time, I'll put together a story, and keep going from there till the voting".

[Hypno]

This is the second chapter of Dangerous Times. It is going to be a bit longer than the first chapter. Things will pick up soon, don't you worry

Fanfiction.net link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12594177/2/Dangerous-Times

Chapter 2: Discussion and Danger

Littlefoot jumped up with joy after the announcement from the flyer. He was very excited that Ali would be visiting. He wanted to tell her all about his recent adventures with his friends, including multiple encounters with Red Claw and his fast biters Screech and Thud, and helping others, such as even helping out a herd of crabs, known as Sand Creepers, move to the Great Valley.

Then he remembered that someone else would be back. Rhett.

He had became friends with him the last time the far walkers visited, but he now believes might get in the way with talking to Ali. He decided to head back to his friends to tell them about this. Though he thought, maybe he could keep it a secret? They were friends with Ali and Rhett too, and they loved surprises.

"Nah, that wouldn't work," he thought to himself. "Their parents would tell them." He decided that he'd tell them about it.

He is then interrupted by a familiar voice. An old gray longneck with wrinkly skin and purple underbelly looked down at him.

"Hello, Littlefoot." his grandfather, Grandpa Longneck, said, as he greeted his grandson. "What are you doing here? You normally don't like to hear our rambling we do." he chuckles.

"Oh, well...I just wanted to hear." Littlefoot told him.

"Well, that is fine. You'll only get wiser and wiser, like us." his grandmother, Grandma Longneck, said to him.

"So, I heard our cousins are coming to visit soon?" Littlefoot said.

Both of the old longnecks chuckle.

"Yes, Littlefoot. Ali and Rhett will be here. Tomrrow." Grandpa told his grandson.

Unaware, Cam was watching them, listening to everything they had said. The longneck was an orange-brown color and had blue eyes. He also had white going from his snout down to his underbelly and under his tail. The top of his head, down his back, to the tip of his tail were colored black.

"Ha, so the little longneck's friends are coming to visit, are they? Allos will be happy to hear this. Well, I hope." the longneck said, before walking towards the cliffs to leave the Valley. "I really hope he isn't angry tonight."

He returns to his friends, and tells them everything that he heard about.

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It is now far into the afternoon, and it is beginning to cool in the Great Valley. The herds are eating and drinking, and playing with their children in the Bright Circle, which is now starting to go down. It will get dark faster in the Valley, as the cliffs block out light when the Bright Circle goes down below them.

Littlefoot and his friends continued to play Sharptooth Attack.

"Hold on, guys. Where's Chomper and Ruby?" Littlefoot asked, hoping for a good answer.

"I don't know, go look for them yourself." Cera said in a grumpy voice. She didn't seem to care in the slightest.

"Cera! They could be in trouble!" Littlefoot yelled out at her. "Does anyone know where they are?"

"Uh...uh uh." said Spike, trying to give as best of a no answer without actually talking.

"Maybe Red Claw founded-ed them." said Ducky, "I do not know, no no no."

"Me no know. Me not talk to them today" Petrie said.

Just then, Cera remembered Chomper telling her what he and Ruby were off to do.

"Last night, Chomper told me that they were going into the Secret Caverns today, but I'm not sure where exactly in the caves they went. They said that they were going to come back in the afternoon." she explained to the rest of the gang.

"Well, they should have been back a little while ago." said Littlefoot. "We have to go find them." Littlefoot was worried that they had gotten lost, or ended themselves up in the Mysterious Beyond, or both. He would soon be right about this.

--------------------

Over at the other side of the Valley, Cam was around the abandoned areas of it. He knew there would be sharpteeth around, so he was always on his guard. He soon reached a redwood forest with huge trees, much taller than him or any other longneck in the dinosaur world.

"Allos? Allos? I am here to speak with you." he said, clearly afraid. Though the sharptooth helped him in return for helping the longneck, he was still afraid Allos would kill him at any time.

But there was nobody there.

"Allos!" Cam yelled. Still nothing.

Suddenly some of the huge trees shook, and a large forty foot long, 5 ton carnivore pushed through the trees in front of Cam. It had green eyes, brown skin, and white underbelly, with two ridges above its eyes.

"Yes?" the sharptooth said.

"Ah, yes. I always forget that I am the one who taught you the flattooth language in the first place." he remarked.

The sharptooth snarled in the evening yellow light.

"Well. What did you come here for? I raised you for this purpose, so tell me what you are going to say. I can kill you now." he threated casually. He thought of the certainly not defenseless longneck as some small animal, rather than a force to be reckoned with.

"Well, the residents of the Great Valley are expecting visitors. A couple of them are related to and friends of the little longneck, Littlefoot. I knew you wanted to kill him. He buried you under those rocks and killed you, after all. It may be your time to send a message."

"Good, good. They will get a feel of what it's like to go after a manifestation of something. That "bad luck" couldn't actually have been reversed. They took the wrong sharptooth tooth to put back onto Saurus Rock. They took my tooth, the tooth of a browridge sharptooth." he explained to Cam.

"Thank you for the things you have done for me through the years. I don't think I have a use for you anymore." he said, starting to drool.

"Now, now, hold on...wait!" Cam screamed, before he met his doom...

--------------------

Meanwhile, Chomper and Ruby continued through the caves, hoping they would be able to find a way out.

"I thought I remembered this cave, but I didn't remember it, so I guess I didn't." Ruby said.

The cave they had entered was damp and cold. Their were insects flying around inside that were able to feed Chomper, however. There were also a few plants lying around, but it was very cold, and they were dying. They decided to follow some water, hoping that they would find a way to escape the dark and dreary cavern.

They had gotten completely lost. Ruby thought she knew where she was going, but she was wrong. They had taken a few wrong turns and gotten lost.

At just about night time, they reached the end of the cold cave, while Littlefoot and his friends neared the entrance to the Secret Caverns.

"I think this might be the way out." Chomper said. He looked up over a small hill right at the entrance, and was taken aback by what he saw. He was in the Mysterious Beyond, and had just seen something that instantly struck him with horror.

That is it for now. You will have to find out what happens in the next chapter. This one was a bit longer than the first one. The length all depends on how much I can think on what to write. If I feel it should end at a certain part, it will end.

The first true danger part will be soon. I guarantee you that this story will get better.

[Sovereign]

So we have a supernatural sharptooth as an enemy? It'll be interesting to see what he's going to do even if I've got the feeling that the Saurus Rock will hold the keys to his eventual downfall. It'll also be intruguing to see how Ali and Rhett will fit in this larger picture. The dialogue inside the Gang is simple but solid and does its job here. On the other hand, Cam's character was pretty odd. I don't see the point of keeping an ally in the Valley only to kill him because of simple piece of news. The scene was successful in relaying Allos' ruthlessness but, to be honest, it didn't make too much sense to me. Even then, I'm looking forward to seeing what Allos' revenge on the Gang is going to look like!