What's up, GOF people?

I'll get straight to the point. Some of you have probably heard that Rhombus and I have been working on a collaboration project. This long rumored story that has been in the works since last Fall is now ready for publishing. We are both very excited about this, and hope you all will enjoy.

From the author and creator of the 'Seven Hunters', 'Songs of the Hunters', and 'Mender's Tale'....

From the author of 'This Is Growing Up' and 'The Way I Am'....

Guy Walks Into a Bar Productions....

Sponsored by Dinoco Oil Company, IGN, and Rex from Toy Story....

I present to you

                                    A Wish Granted: Tears of a Sharptooth

Prologue

A torrent of verdant leaves exploded from the bushes as the longneck propelled himself through the foreboding darkness of the Wetlands. In his headlong advance he did not notice anything except for the promise of the open expanse beyond. An escape from the unseen danger. An escape from what haunted his nightmares.

An escape from certain death.

His legs burned with exertion as every blade of grass and even the ground itself seemed intent on slowing his progress. In his fear-addled mind he had no idea how long he had been running, whether it had been minutes or hours. The only thing that he knew was that he had to gain distance on the green menace that stalked him.

He never saw the hole that made him lose his balance.

In a cascade of movement the small longneck appeared to buckle and fall into the muddy abyss of the stream. His brown skin being coated with the thick muck of the sinking mud. It took all that he had in him to keep his head above the depths.

A rather large Utahraptor emerged from the brush and sniffed. The little longneck was close by, he knew that much. In the growing darkness, his eyesight would prove to be an advantage. Leaf eaters were not the most adept to their surroundings in the night time hours. Slowly moving forward, his ears picked up a sound: the sound of struggling.

He edged himself towards the river, he needed to be careful, not because the longneck posed a threat but because he himself did not want to be caught in whatever the youngling was currently trapped in. The Utahraptor approached the edge of a muddy stream and using his senses, managed to discern where his target was. The little longneck was caught in a bog that threatened to engulf him.

No way out now, kid.

As if he had heard the fastbiter's thoughts, the longneck appeared to roll in the water and proceeded to float towards the other side, still managing to keep his head above the sticky sludge. It was as if the youngling was daring the predator to follow.

The green fast biter smirked at this gesture.

Oh I don't think so.

He was large for his kind, and that proved to be crucial here. Using his mighty forelegs, he jumped across the stream, maintaining his balance and landing perfectly on the other side right in front of the young longneck.

"Ahhhh!"

The green fastbiter only watched with mild amusement as his target struggled to free himself from the muck that significantly impaired his mobility.

Then again, what mobility? Longnecks barely have any as it is

The small creature managed to lift himself onto the bank and try to run, only for him to fall flat on his face and right in front of the fastbiter, who peered down at him in with a mixture of curiosity and bemusement.

"Dad! Dad, help!"

The longneck coughed after attempting to yell. The gunk from the bog made him gag, and the sludge on his face made it difficult to see. But even with those limitations it was obvious that the youngling knew his likely fate. There was no one to save him now.

"Oh daddy isn't coming. At least, not yet," the Utahraptor said with a grin.

"You…" The longneck coughed again, "You can speak?!"

The fastbiter chuckled, displaying his sharp pointed claws on the end of his feet.

"How droll. But of course I can speak, young one. How else would I be able to convey what I am about to tell you?"

He gazed up at the heavens, stars starting to twinkle within the last light of the twilight.

"Shame about the others. They won't be here to witness such a glorious occasion. But no matter. I can always start with you. In fact, I think it would be fitting."

The longneck cowered assuming that he was about to be eaten. His eyes conveyed only mindless fear.

The green fast biter observed the smaller dinosaur. A dinosaur he once normally considered just an appetizer to a far bigger meal. How his perspective had changed since then. Much had evolved as the years had gone by. Longnecks were always strong creatures, but even a hatchling would not be able to muster much courage in the face of a fully grown sharptooth. Even as he looked down upon this morsel, he felt a twinge of sympathy. After all he knew the plight of leaf eaters better than most of his species. Something that a couple of mysterious rainbow faces had seen to long ago.

The young longneck's trembling became more subdued as recognition again registered in his eyes. The fear-numbness had finally abated. Now only confusion remained. Confusion and more than a bit of curiosity.

Ha! Reminds me of a certain longneck from a long time ago…

"Good, it seems you've managed to control your fear. We sharpteeth can practically smell it...moving on. If you think a sharptooth talking leaf eater is odd then let me tell you a tale. A story that happened many years past…"

"A story?" The longneck was not processing what he was hearing.

Another laugh emanated from the sharptooth.

"You remind me a lot of myself back in the past, kid," he said with a slightly unnerving toothy grin. "Unsure...running away from what you should do...So how about I tell you how I overcame that? After all if you want to become better at avoiding becoming dinner then perhaps you should listen to…"

Don't give too much away. Not just yet.

"Anyway, shall we begin?"

The longneck looked unsure, as the mud began to dry on his skin. But eventually his curiosity overpowered his fear and he gave a weak nod. It wasn't like he had much of a choice.

Clearing his throat, the sharptooth started to speak in a dry tone.

"It all began many cold times ago…"
_______________________________________________________________________

Well, what do you guys think? Let us know with a review or two! We'd love some feedback!

There will be more yet to come!

They Look good and interesting looking forward to reading them

Okay, people. So adding in all the necessary bolding, italicizing and whatnot takes a really fuckin long time haha. So from this point forward, I'm just going to post the remaining chapters from a link on fanfiction.

Anyway, here's chapter 1 after the prologue Enjoy!
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12402863/2/A-W...of-a-Sharptooth

Let us know what you think! Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

what the subhell? Why I need to register to read this fic? Oo

The links appear to be broken, the Wasp.  You may want to post the direct links (found when you access the story from your control panel).  The links that you posted appeared to have expired.

oh, it was just broken links...

This should be the link to the next chapter.

A bit annoying that this is only on fanfic.net, oh well

Prologue: Well, the prologue certainly makes you wonder what kind of story it is going to be. An unknown child meeting a mysterious talking biter who chases a kid only to spare and tell him a story sure is that sort of introduction that just makes you curious

*goes on fanfic.net*

Chapt1: After the prologue I thought this would be mostly OC-based. Now to read about a casual game of our beloved dinosaur was.. unexpected

Apparently, Cera's dream had a deeper, almost foreshadowing meaning. Albeit by accident, Chomper bites Ducky (*enters rage mode* ) and a too familiar scenario (which seems to be popular among fanfic writers as of late ) evolves. Now the challenge will be to stand out with your story

The scenario you went with is probably even more probable than the scenario Sovereign chose with his story. A simple accident during a game and all trust is gone. I think in terms of having the characters act in character, you've done a great job. Littlefoot had always been the most trusting and supportive of Chomper, while Cera's doubt had always been the most drastic. Spike would obviously stand up for Ducky no matter what and Ducky/Petrie always seemed to be somewhat undecided on the matter. Petrie displays that here too while Ducky, influenced by pain and anger, takes a lot closer to Cera here which, under these circumstances, is also believable for the swimmer. Chomper seems to know he has messed it up, reacting accordingly, while Ruby takes her responsibility.

Overall, very good 1st chapter & Prologue, curious to see where this is going

EDIT: Moar reviews

Chapter 2 was a little less hectic but nonetheless progressing the plot nicely! I'm glad to see that Cera is taking a less confronting approach to solve matters and come to a conclusion with Littlefoot.

Ruby meanwhile confronts Chomper with the facts Chomper is still child enough to seriously consider redeeming himself though.

And... the rainbowfaces are messing with the order of the world

Chapter 3 now:

Well, I've been sleeping over that review simply because there's one thing I'm not sure how to confront. And I think I should go for the more honest version here.

While the sheer mess and chaos that erupted in this chapter were all well portraited, there's still this lingering feeling that I've read this same setting before in the Seven Hunters and it simply doesn't surprise me anymore (plus I consider rhombus' The Seven Hunters story the high bar end of fanfiction writing so that doesn't help either )

I know rhombus has been co-working on this and I see a slight increase in writing quality overall in comparison to "This is growing up" here but maybe you guys shouldn't have taken the same setting, the same scene, just slightly amended, for this story

One more thing I find a bit funny is the parent's behavior. They seem far too composed. If I saw that happen, I think my mind would just... snap :

Oh well, still more than curious to see how that scene in the prologue came to be



Chapter 4:

Well... I don't know why but for some reason I don't warm up with this. All I feel is rage against the Rainbowfaces. I know, silly but you really did not portrait them in a likable way. From a story POV this is the most logical path to follow, to not resolve matters easily, but I'm not liking it for some reason.  

Chapter 5: I do not really understood what you were trying to gain with that threehorn story. If there's no big importance in the present which I believe applies then it is usually best not to include it. It mere confused me, what were you trying to pinpoint? And I also wonder how others' opinions are? I typically skip reviews on ff.net when I'm reading on my phone (which is 95% of the time I read).

Chapter 6: well, suddenly a really long chapter! Although I think staying consistent in chapter length somewhat is always recommended. I know I have quite the variety in my chapters but that is usually because I am looking for the best, most exciting moment of just a moment that concludes a scene nicely. To be fair, you did find such a point and I shall credit you for that

Also, this was the first chapter that I found to be enjoyable through and through! It's still very similar to TSH albeit one needs to admit that rhombus went with the most logical approach in his story which you are obviously trying to stay true to. Nothing wrong with that I guess

I do see what you are trying to do different in this chapter and you did not disappoint when you promised it in the previous chapter. The way I see it, the main change is relying on the fastrunners and not Chomper's parents to learn what needs to be learned and, whether I like the curse or not on an emotional level, it does add an interesting twist and a huge challenge to it

As for the gang, I wish you had dwelled on the moment they decided to eat and the process of Chomper teaching them more although I'd understand perfectly if the story is not meant to be too lengthy

Well, that was a good chapter for sure

And chapter seven at last...

I kind of saw that scene coming after the implementations Ruby's parents made in the previous chapter. You handled the whole scene pretty well, Chomper's grief was unmistakable and the little fight with Littlefoot a very good idea to do.

I'm surprised this story is still ongoing btw. Since I don't read on ff.net usually, I would probably miss future updates there though :/