I walk a new path

[Lillefot]

Hello everyone.
Now, some of you might know about this already; nevertheless, I feel that I need to spill the beans.

I don't know where to start or explain it, but I'll give it a try.

Firstly, I've quit my old school. I did so 3 months ago infact. I couldn't stand it, the enviroment, the travels, and I didn't have any real friends.
It's a bit of a shame, as it was a really good school, but if you have to you have to.
I trusted my heart. That was not my school.

So there I was. No school, no education. Feeling totally bankrupted. It was a real hard time, not just with school, but with family, social life and mental health...

It took me about two weeks to find something new. And... that was a pain....
I could not study in the areas I wanted anymore. (the areas I've longed for to study for soo long...) And they had plans of putting me back in 1st grade (college). I did try that. I didn't fufill that day at school.
I left after three hours and walked my way.
I just walked. Didn't know where to. I just walked trough the village and into the forest. It was... a beautiful day... the sun was shining and the sky was blue.
Eventually, I found myself standing at a big field. (...golftrack).
I sat down at bench on top of hole no.15. i don't know how long I sat there, but I got time to think. These questions bothered my mind:

-Who am I?
-What do I want to do?
-What's going to happen to me?
-What education could I consider study for another two years (now that I have lost my chanses to study what I really want?)
-What will my family say?
-Can I just run away?
- and why the hell am I sitting on bench in the middle of a golftrack!? (really)

Unfortunly, I didn't get any answers.
I managed to walk back home.

I couldn't belive this was happening to ME!
I was the third best student in my old school!
Why? Why ME? It was supposed to be those jerks who didn't give damn about education that were supposed to be in this crap! Not ME!!

It took weeks before I settled down. I did some search and considered alot of alternatives.

Kay, time for an outcome:

I've quited ALL my goals in life that has to do with education.
I'm now studying civics and journalism 2nd year at Ale Gymnasium, Gotehnburg.
I'm in a new school, new class...
But after these past months, it feels... good.
I've gotten along really well in this new enviroment. I have a place in class, and it's quite the jolly bunch. I feel welcome.
Civics and journalism is quite fun anyway. We get to work alot with computers and programs such as Ps and InDesign.
The new classmates are all good. They even gave me a nickname: "Pysen" which is the direct swedish translation of... Shorty.   Quite cool.
I've had that nickname before, quite fun that they decided to call me that.

The school lies closer to home, and because I'm a "very good student" my schedual differs from my classmates.
For example, they study English B. I'm already studying C along with the 3rd years. (I'm their cute little 2nd yearer... girls pet me...
So my schedual is quite nice. Start late, finish early.

So, I'm okay with this new school. I hope it will stay so.

That's school.
I have a bigger problem.
I have nothing to do.
I really long for a sparetime activity!
I have several things that I feel I would like to try:

-learn how to play an instrument
-singing
-join the local alpine club®
-dancing

I just don't know. I'm very sad about this, it's really bothering me...

I shall stop. This post has been way too long. Add more later.
But, I needed this off my chest. I know things will work out, it's just the way there that is a hard walk. One good thing about me though:
I never give up.

[jedi472]

Wow, sounds like you really needed to find yourself.  As for spare time stuff, I suggest writing or singing.

[NeptuneNavigator2001]

It's a new start for you, Gustav, that's great! I know you'll go far with whatever you choose. As for filling your spare time up, it will also come...:^.^: You'll see.

[Mumbling]

Heh, people keep amazing me with long posts.

Anyway, I've kinda followed your story. It's really up to you what you're going to do with your sparetime. You've got so many abilities that I'm sure you'll find something. So go for it, whatever comes to your mind.

And most of all, get yourself to do something. I know that can be hard. But you can do it, I know. And you can always ask for some help with anything with anyone. Even if it's just this little push in the right direction.

[Kor]

Sounds like you did a change for the better, good luck.

Not sure if the school you go to has any of the hobbies you'd like to do as classes.  Some here have a musical instrument, certain dancing classes, ect.  There may be some friends, or friends of friends, or of your parents, your friend's older sibblings, ect, who may be able to help you in those areas also.

I'd suggest maybe trying out each of the ones on the list to see which one or ones you may like.  You may then be able to find out which ones you like more, less, and be able to prioritize them.  Saying I'll study this one more then this.  This one will be once in a while, ect.

[Petrie.]

I couldn't belive this was happening to ME!
I was the third best student in my old school!
Why? Why ME? It was supposed to be those jerks who didn't give damn about education that were supposed to be in this crap! Not ME!!

This isn't too unusual. I feel that the smart ones who can think, overanalyze and put themselves in stressful situations unecessarily.  That's pretty much what you just did, but everyone can suddenly realize what they're doing is not what they want to do for life, even the dimmer bulbs out there.

It sounds liike you found something good and should stick with it.

[Lillefot]

Yeah, I know that now.

Sorry for the... "depressing post".
It's not that I feel crap nowdays!  

I got one thing I can/must do in my sparetime now anyway:
Intensive training. Skiing season starts in less than a month, and it's a pain to not be prepared.  

It's more or less a battle of feelings.
"A feeling is a temporary guest that aways will be replaced with a new one".

I think I'll find something.  

[Cancerian Tiger]

I know how ya feel, Lillefot .  I was focused on getting some advanced degree to get a $100,000 a year job (no disrespect to anyone who does; if that's your goal, kudos to ya ) before I realized I did not want to work in one location within the same four walls under flourescent light until my sixties or even seventies.  Many folks like to work indoors, and again I'm not intending to bash anyone here, but I prefer to be outdoors.  Sure, one can only make up to $60,000 a year at most being a park ranger, but to work individually without the boss looming over ya, be in nature, keep the environment protected and teach others about the wildlife appeals to me.  The point I'm trying to make here is to follow what your heart feels and what your big interests are instead of the path that may lead up the salary ladder but not bring happiness(after all, you'll be doing this at least forty years ), and follow your dreams no matter what anyone tells ya (if ya look at my signature, you'll see where I stand on following your dreams).  I'm glad you're finding yourself.  Best of luck to ya !

[Kor]

Good luck on your training and also on your choice Cancerian Tiger.  One thing they do not tell you, likely, is those $100,000 dollar jobs are likely very highly stressful.