To Tread Upon Fields Afar (Updated)

Fyn16 · **Reply #60 on:** August 15, 2017, 01:28:50 PM

[[Content Warning]]
Graphic and disturbing depictions of hunting and Sharptooth-related violence within.

A pack of five young Allosaurs pursues their quarry as they make the final hunt that will grant them adulthood in a mysterious pride, the Pride of Stone. Unbeknownst to them, one of their ranks knows a great deal more about the pride then he lets on, and he has his own plans...

Hearts of Stone

Fyn16 · **Reply #61 on:** October 13, 2017, 06:08:37 PM

Our scene opens with a return to Fyn, as he, Cura, and Cera struggle to overcome one of the Mysterious Beyond's greatest threats: nature itself!

The Scar

rhombus · **Reply #62 on:** October 14, 2017, 01:20:47 AM

This is an excellent return to this story after a somewhat lengthy hiatus. In it we quickly enter into an intense situation without much preamble, leaving the readers as surprised and overwhelmed as the characters in the story. This is an excellent choice as it leads into one of the best pacings in a story I have seen in a long time. 9000 words without a letup in the suspense is one hell of an accomplishment. This is not to mention the fact that the narrative actually made me wince when Fyn bit down upon his tongue. A story that can make me sense the pain of the characters is a story that has succeeded completely in allowing me to suspend all disbelief.

The motivations of the sharptooth and his determination is well exhibited here, as is Fyn’s thought process. Both his good strategizing and his tendency to overthink things. Cera’s reactions, showing both humor and dismissal in the most trying of moments, is quite fitting as she is a threehorn. Whereas I must admit that I truly felt for the sharptooth as he must have been starving to have focused on the hunt with such desperation. The struggle between him and Fyn allowed us to focus much more on Fyn's development as a character and the sharpening of his thought process. Only his empathy (from his experience with Sol) slightly slowed him from doing what he must do.

I look forward to seeing how things develop from here. But as the echoes throughout this chapter indicate... Fyn is slowing walking towards and witnessing the rise of his destiny.

Fyn16 · **Reply #63 on:** November 21, 2017, 08:21:06 PM

Hey everyone, just popping in to let you know that I am not dead, and I am still working diligently on the next chapter! I plan to use an excerpt as my prompt response for this month, as school has been weighing really heavily on my schedule lately. Ideally, I'll be ready to post sometime this weekend. Hang in there, and to those of you whose stories I need to catch up on (looking at you, Sovereign

) I'll be reading them as soon as I can!

Fyn16 · **Reply #64 on:** January 01, 2018, 05:04:34 PM

Fyn and company finally make their way down the cliff, but night brings with it uncertainty, and a new mystery to unravel.

Eyes in the Dark

rhombus · **Reply #65 on:** January 06, 2018, 03:36:10 AM

First, there is no need to apologize about the delay in updating. I can certainly relate to the struggles of writing when work, family, and other obligations conspire around the holidays to eat up every spare moment of free time. That being said, I am certainly glad to see this story resume.

This chapter has presented us with several new developments, none of which are monumental in themselves (yet), but which hint at bigger developments yet to come. The obvious deterioration in Cera's health has manifested in a hacking cough, which could be the harbinger of an infection or something much more dangerous. Fyn's wise decision to take the lead on the rock situation shows that he is well aware of the concerning development. Additionally his ability to use basic tool use to extricate the rock shows the clear influence of his father. This serves as yet another bridge between the past and present (and future).

Which brings us to the Dream and its implications. I have some theories about what may be developing which I will not blurt out, but I must admit the new developments both intrigue and mystify me (in a good way). It seems that Chizel is being haunted by Arden, but it is left to us readers (for the moment anyway) to ascertain whether this is a true manifestation of the father through the son as Chizel believes, or an echo of a progeny taking up the cause of his father. In either case, the implications of the Device and the mental connection between them all presents many interesting possibilities for the future.

Between the cute moments in this chapter, the foreboding hints of dangers and risks to come, and the re-appearance of plot points that are apparently about to manifest from mysteries into overt developments, this chapter was a joy to read.

I look forward to seeing how things develop from here.

Fyn16 · **Reply #66 on:** January 13, 2018, 01:19:13 AM

As a new day dawns, Fyn, Zaura, and Sol all prepare to face unique challenges, challenges which may thrust them over the precipice of adulthood faster than any of them may have imagined.

Three Thresholds

vonboy · **Reply #67 on:** January 13, 2018, 10:40:41 AM

Still following this,and looking forward to when Sol and Zaura finally face each other again. Should be crazy, with her wanting to start hunting sharpteeth now, and Sol going on his first hunt. Almost hope that they meet each other while they're doing these things, just to watch, and see if the trainwreck can be avoided or not.

Don't know when you're planning on the meeting to take place, just speculating on my part.

Keep going, Fyn.

Sovereign · **Reply #68 on:** January 14, 2018, 10:30:44 AM

While this chapter certainly was a bit slower than the previous ones, I'd hardly call it a filler. This installment pushed Zaura and Sol/Rear storyline forward again after a small pause and it certainly managed to establish some nice and exciting possibilities for the next chapters. Zaura has found a new purpose for her life in the scouts and it certainly seems like things are going to heat up soon enough between her and the sharpteeth. Also, the opening scene emphasized a bit more about Cera/Fyn relationship and for some reason, I'm beginning to feel like Cera wants to pass on her knowledge to Fyn for a good yet worrying reason...

Zaura's new companions were fully introduced here and it seems like Zaura will be in good hands for now. However, it seems like she'll meet Sol faster than she perhaps intended or wanted as it's likely that they'll meet during the duo's hunt but I cannot say what will be the outcome of such a clash. Even if Sol managed to explain his case, it's doubtful the other scouts would approve of two sharpteeth tracking the herd, especially if they learn about Chomper's presence. The former lovebirds certainly are in for a sour reunion and one can only imagine what role the Smoothsnout Sharpteeth are going to play in it...

In any case, it's also nice to see these two group's storyline moving forward. While this may not be the most intense chapter, it was pleasant to read and it certainly got getting rolling on again. On a side note, I agree that setting a word goal for each day is quite useful as I usually strive for 2k per day and it feels like it works quite well! I certainly hope you'll keep this up as it'll be intriguing to see whether this mess can be resolved peacefully.

rhombus · **Reply #69 on:** January 16, 2018, 09:51:08 PM

I most certainly would not call this chapter filler as it continues to develop the character of our three groups of dinosaurs, and establishes the struggles for them in the chapters to come. Between Fyn's upcoming struggle to recruit and maintain a herd (with Cera's helpful and brutal commentary no doubt

), Zaura's struggle to remember and understand her past experiences and reestablishing her dominance over herself and her destiny, and Sol's struggle to handle his first hunt, we have a lot going on in the near-future.

The events of this chapter do leave some rather concerning thoughts in my head though. Among other things Cera's push to bestow her knowledge on Fyn, though not a new development, seems to have taken on a new intensity. I am beginning to suspect that she thinks that her end might be coming in the near-future. And, knowing Cera, she is thinking "I helped one flathead suck it up and do what was necessary, and I will help this flathead out as well."

And, of course, the potential collision of Sol and Zaura does not bode will for the future. Sol is in for a rude awakening in the near-future, there can be no doubt about that.

I quite enjoyed this chapter despite the more mellow pace. Sometimes a chapter like this is necessary in order to allow us readers to process the developing situations and to truly understand the struggles of the characters and their possible hidden motivations. Nothing about this chapter felt slow or like filler, rather I always got the impression that it was building a foundation for what is yet to come. And I look forward to seeing what that "yet to come" ends up being.

Fyn16 · **Reply #70 on:** January 19, 2018, 10:06:41 AM

Two challenges are met, two thresholds are crossed, and two young dinosaurs become their own adults as Sol conducts his first hunt, and Zaura gets to see the scouts in action.

Engage

rhombus · **Reply #71 on:** January 19, 2018, 11:12:30 AM

This chapter begins with a wonderful bit of misdirection that still provides us with great insights into far-walker society. As the reader considers the thoughts and ponderings of dinosaurs concerning stripecrawlers (which is great in terms of allowing the readers to think of dinosaurs as if they were like themselves, as we all ponder such things from time to time) before the life of the subject of such interest is suddenly cut short. This leads into a wonderful scene featuring the widejaws, which comes at a suitable time. And the shift in perspective to Acras is well-advised. Without knowing Osta’s thoughts it makes the entire situation even more horrifying.

I have little to say about the scene with Zaura's herd and Sol's hunt except to say that the interactions in both scenes were wonderfully done, and show how each is growing in unique ways. Additionally the misdirection (I thought that the herd was tracking Sol and Rear for several pages) was quite nice in building tension in the reader. This tension did not end when the misdirection was exposed, rather I feared for both of our protagonists. And then comes the conclusion...

And now Sol is a full sharptooth. One can only wonder how much of the original Sol will be left by the time Zaurua finds him, but then again, one can say the same of her. Their currents have diverged like tributaries serving different streams. And I suspect when they reemerge and face one another that they will be at cross-purposes. But, as Zaura would tell us, the only certainty in the near-future is blood and teeth. Whose blood and whose teeth is the ultimate question.

This was a great chapter that plays with the reader’s expectations while still providing the catharsis of action.

In the end we have two characters fundamentally changed, each adapting to their herd or pack, and each awaiting a reunion that one thinks can only breed tragedy. But, as your writing has shown in this chapter, looks can be deceiving. And I hope for Zaura and Sol both that there is a reckoning that gives them each another chance.

Sovereign · **Reply #72 on:** January 20, 2018, 05:17:44 PM

This chapter elaborated really well which way Zaura and Sol's character developments are going to go in the aftermath of their separation. While their reunion will have to wait, this installment did a really nice job in building their motives and feelings in preparation for the coming ordeals while also widening our knowledge about Zaura's new companions.

It was nice to see Acras and his storyline again but even if we got hints about where his plot will go, it felt a little weird to have such a short scene about him at the beginning. Anyway, Zaura's part in this chapter was done slowly but it was more than necessary for us to know about her new role within the herd and to learn more about the other scouts. The sailneck's relationship with Trocha seems quite interesting as Zaura seems to genuinely her company but tries to keep her as a distant acquaintance in order to pursue her own violent goals. We'll see if anyone can prevent her from giving up to her inner rage of which we got a glimpse during the fight with the sharpteeth.

As for Sol, it's remarkable that he has taken another step towards embracing his fate (it was also a good moment to show your "love" towards Yellowbellies

) but I see those experiences affect only his growing acceptance of the ways of the sharpteeth but it's likely that in the inside, he's still more faithful to his "old" self than Zaura.

Even then, I must say that some parts of this chapter felt a bit slow, especially in Zaura's section. It didn't distract me too greatly but it still felt like it could have been a bit more compact. However, I still found the developments here fascinating as they have the potential to have really profound consequences when our wayward main characters finally find each other again. Also, congratulations for breaking the 400k word mark! It's a really impressive milestone!

Fyn16 · **Reply #73 on:** February 14, 2018, 04:07:12 PM

Fyn makes his first attempt at convincing a few strangers to start a herd, and trouble brews in the Great Valley.

And the author makes some clarifications. That too.

A Lesson Learned

Sovereign · **Reply #74 on:** February 17, 2018, 04:19:31 AM

Very nice job, once again. It's interesting to see some of the rainbowfaces starting to have second thoughts about their mission and their leader. You're doing a very good job in showing Yal and Cyrim's views on their situation and the Valley as a whole. The whole lead up to the inevitable confrontation between Locs and Tempa and the other rainbowfaces seems really intriguing and I'm rather positive that their next trip won't be quite as smooth or successful as the last ones. And when things begin to boil in the Valley, the storm most likely won't be far away from Fyn either...

Speaking of the sailneck, I loved the second part of the chapter. The way Fyn thinks like he already knows everything was shown believably and his quarrels with Cera and the domehead were really well written. It shows that while Fyn might want the best and he may actually be capable of achieving it, he still has to work on getting others to believe in him and understanding them in return. The way Cera pushed him to accept his mistakes was an extremely nice one as few people would be prepared to push him that far. Especially the scene in which Cera demands to know what Fyn was about to call her was a great one. Her understanding of Fyn's line of thought it really shows the depth of the wisdom the threehorn has gathered during her long years.

While this chapter didn't offer any great drama, it truly paved one for them. The Valley storyline seems to be on the verge of an explosion and slowly but surely, Fyn is starting to gather more people to share the coming storm with him. As for the ending, I second Spiritstrike in saying that the dream scenes are absolute gold. I can't wait to see what new mysteries are waiting to unfold themselves!

Fyn16 · **Reply #75 on:** February 20, 2018, 03:32:03 PM

Once more, a Dream overtakes Fyn and Cura, but something is different about this one. Meanwhile, in the forest beyond, something stirs just out of sight...

Unwelcome

rhombus · **Reply #76 on:** February 20, 2018, 03:37:23 PM

Yikes, I have fallen behind! I will try to catch up after work today.

rhombus · **Reply #77 on:** February 21, 2018, 02:31:17 AM

This chapter starts off quite introspectively as we get a visual reference for how long Yal and the others have been in the valley. 13,000 tick marks, or 35 years. An entire lifetime for even a long-lived dinosaur, and an entire portion of life for a modern human, but a mere mission for them. A mission that seems certain to spell end for many on the planet they find themselves. The threat directed at the two rainbowfaces we are acquainted with only further adds to the perceived tension, while at the same time making us feel for the story’s adversaries. This is an amazing accomplishment for a mere two scenes, and as such I had to mention it here.

But on to the rest of the chapter…

Seeing Ruby (and her daughter) again was a treat. It is nice to know that she is a conspirator with Locs and Tempa, and it actually fits her character quite well. She was always a kind of diplomat of sorts, being sent into a valley that was distrustful of her kind and sharpteeth in order to protect her sharptooth friend. It makes sense that she would again be in a similar position, appearing to scheme against the schemers as it were. Though I can only imagine how old she is at this point. She is probably the oldest of her kind. I can only wonder if she and Chomper will be able to meet one final time before fate or time takes them both.

And now to the apex of the chapter… the herd-building scene. I must admit that this went into a direction that I did not expect at all. With the usual banter between Fyn and Cera, and especially her stern yet wise advise, I kind of expected this first attempt to not go to plan, but I did not see that this was intentional on her part. However her reasoning in forcing this failure was a good one. In order to build Fyn into the leader of dinosaurs he has to be he must first disavow himself of his old fixation on rights and wrongs, of duties and obligations. Here in the Scar survival and needs governs all and if he is going to have order and respect in his herd then it will have to be provided, and earned, by him. With this hard lesson now provided it will be interesting to see how Fyn does in his continued attempts to build a herd.

This was an awesome chapter that truly hints on what is to come. Writing such as this really puts some of my attempts to shame, and it makes me want to read more and to see how the inevitable conflicts in the future finally play out. But… I am afraid the next chapter’s review will have to wait until tomorrow as it is already late for me. This was excellent Fyn, and I look forward to seeing what happens next!

rhombus · **Reply #78 on:** February 21, 2018, 02:45:06 AM

Eh, screw it, who needs sleep anyway?

What this chapter lacked in length (by your standards) it more than made up for in its impact. In this Dream Fyn now sees his clearest view of the valley, its history, and its mysterious destiny. A destiny that it seems that only he can stop. The visual description in this chapter is powerful as you describe him witnessing the coming and going of endless generations, the coming of the Five, then Seven, then Five again... and then the valley's end. The final confrontation between Fyn and his adversary literally sent a shiver down my spine. Now he knows that he is not dealing with Arden, but rather someone else. And as if Fyn were unable to ignore the stakes before, now he cannot doubt the consequences of failure. This is a battle for his world, and the fate of everyone on it will depend on him and his allies.

This is powerful stuff, Fyn, and my apologies if my somewhat tired brain is unable to adequately put my thoughts into words at the moment. Between the events of the previous chapter and the foreboding tones of this dream I can only wait in anticipation for what happens next.

As you said in the previous chapter, shit is about to go down.

Sovereign · **Reply #79 on:** February 22, 2018, 10:57:21 AM

This certainly was a mysterious and thought-provoking installment. The developments that have happened in the Valley have, once again, been made clearer and not Fyn seems to have some kind of idea about what he is up against. Even then, the real mission of the rainbowfaces remains a mystery but the plot gets clearer, a bit by bit. Furthermore, the Dreams seem to be increasingly taking a toll on Cura and eventually also on Fyn.

The lead-up to the confrontation was amazingly written and one could really feel the depth of all the major events that have befallen upon the Valley. The tension in the air was clear and the cataclysmic event truly kept me at the edge of my seat. The final encounter in the dream was an interesting finish to this highly puzzling sight. What purpose does showing Arden's son the Valley's history serve, especially considering the rainbowfaces clearly don't want him anywhere near them? It certainly seems the rainbowfaces can't control whatever force is causing these Dreams.

And finally, those Dreams seem to be beginning to weigh on our protagonists more with every new vision. Fyn has to find a way to overcome the new challenges but I've got the feeling he cannot do it by himself. We'll see where he's going to find guidance on his path but I've got a feeling he'll meet certain rainbowface duo in the not-so-distant future. Other than that, it seems like the final battle lines are being drawn in the coming conflict. I'll certainly look forward to seeing which way this story will take in the next chapters.