The Gang of Five
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Land Before Time: A New Guide

jorrdy12

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Sup guys, i decided to make a Human in The Land Before Time fanfiction
Which someone else also does *points at CybertronianBrony*

So my OC is someone you do not know because it is me :)

Okay so to be original my OC and my family (im using them in it) are talking dutch but i will add a translation for it, so you can still read it :)
Note: The text my family says will be dutch, however only the text will be dutch
and my OC (Jordy; thats me, i will add stuff of what i want and stuff, it will kinda be a

Land Before Time: A New Guide: Prologue

October 28 - 2016 - 1.57PM - Jordy POV

"GEFELICITEERD MET JE VERJAARDAG! (Happy birthday)" My family shouted together happy, well guess what day it is? My 14th birthday that means PARTYY!

So the whole day it was busy with everyone saying happy birthday to me and stuff, the gifts i got was just money (Thats what i always want lol)

After a couple hours of feasting and drinking, eating, cake the usual routine (I still do the 'do a wish' haha in this fanfiction it was to 'Meet real life dinosaurs'

After the visitors were gone, I went on my chromebook (Handy school computers :) and went to my favorite site to go on when I was home: Gang of Five; The land before time forums read some topics, answered some, watched some youtube, nothing much until it was time for bed, looking at his new fancy watch he saw a program called 瞬移(1) deciding he wanted to look at what it was he clicked on it.

What happened next though was something he didn't expect, he blacked out and woke up at the beginning of a cave, deciding to go see what was in it he walked into the cave.

What he saw in the cave.....

Cliffhanger's for the win!

(1) Discover what it is...

So this is my new fanfiction called: Land before time: A New Guide
Correct me on my mistakes and i will see you soon!  ^^spike
The universe has a beginning, but no end. —Infinite.
The stars too have beginnings, but their power accompanies their decline.  —Finite.
It the wise who are the most foolish. History has taught us as much.
The fish of the sea know not the world of the land. Were they to possess wisdom, they too would experience decline.
It is more absurd that humans should surpass the speed of light than it is that fish should start living on the land.
- Steins;Gate (anime / visual novel)


CybertronianBrony

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Nice start. I'll see Chapter 2 when it comes out.

When I saw thay you pointed out my name, I could not help but laugh as the Soldier from Team Fortress 2. Seriously, thank you so much for mentioning me!

Also, the human in my story is me as well. (Just to say if you didn't know) We just couldn't help but put ourselves in our stories! It's like a dream, huh?


retrorobby

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Sounds like its off to a great start. Can't wait for more. Clicking an unknown file and blacking out. Then waking up in a cave. Very mysterious.......


Sneak

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cave?..

good advice from pal:

If you see Sharptooth, he will teleport behind your back very soon...
so just sit
and pray before you die
 :sducky


jorrdy12

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Fun little question for you guys: Which Land before time movie is my chapter made in?

I think i haven't mentioned which Land before time movie this was. but if you do know, i must watch it a couple times again to let this fanfiction go correct, so expect a slower chapter release for now  :(petrie

and Yes CybertronianBrony it is indeed, to live amongst our favorite character's is a dream lets hope science finds a way to breach dimensions and just let us travel to our favorite movies / series atleast in u guys' life time :)
(Mine is probably different because 2002 if u haven't noticed in the story :)
The universe has a beginning, but no end. —Infinite.
The stars too have beginnings, but their power accompanies their decline.  —Finite.
It the wise who are the most foolish. History has taught us as much.
The fish of the sea know not the world of the land. Were they to possess wisdom, they too would experience decline.
It is more absurd that humans should surpass the speed of light than it is that fish should start living on the land.
- Steins;Gate (anime / visual novel)


DarkHououmon

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The only real criticism I have with this story is the fact that the human is a self insert. I've been writing fanfiction for years and one thing I learned is that self inserts are generally frowned upon. A piece of advice I've seen time and time again is to avoid self inserts and either just stick with the original cast or try your hand at a fancharacter.

The reason why self inserts tend to be frowned upon, at least from what I've seen, is that they are so easily turned into Mary Sues. A character that is too perfect, little flaws, gets along too quickly and easily with the main characters, etc. A character like this tends to be boring and doesn't have as much potential to be interesting.

This is not to say self inserts can't be good. They can be well done, so long as they are treated like characters in a story and not an idealized version of the authors themselves.

If you're going with self insertion, then take care not to let the representation of yourself become too perfect. Make sure to include flaws and conflicts (realistically of course; don't force it, let it flow naturally), and don't let the self insert "steal the show" every time. Give room for other characters to shine as well.

That's all I have to say.


jorrdy12

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Quote from: DarkHououmon,Jun 1 2016 on  12:56 PM
The only real criticism I have with this story is the fact that the human is a self insert. I've been writing fanfiction for years and one thing I learned is that self inserts are generally frowned upon. A piece of advice I've seen time and time again is to avoid self inserts and either just stick with the original cast or try your hand at a fancharacter.

The reason why self inserts tend to be frowned upon, at least from what I've seen, is that they are so easily turned into Mary Sues. A character that is too perfect, little flaws, gets along too quickly and easily with the main characters, etc. A character like this tends to be boring and doesn't have as much potential to be interesting.

This is not to say self inserts can't be good. They can be well done, so long as they are treated like characters in a story and not an idealized version of the authors themselves.

If you're going with self insertion, then take care not to let the representation of yourself become too perfect. Make sure to include flaws and conflicts (realistically of course; don't force it, let it flow naturally), and don't let the self insert "steal the show" every time. Give room for other characters to shine as well.

That's all I have to say.
Oh don't worry about the easily connecting part the OC is me wich makes it with my personality ofcourse and my personality is distant, closed off etc and i have no intention to always show my character (it would get boring quite fast if i did it)

And i thank you for your tips of Self insertion they shall definitely be remembered.  ^^spike

Oh! Another thing probably handy to mention is that when he blacked out, he lost his memories of The Land Before Time (So that he won't get along very well with the gang, i had this prepared already because i did that once before and it was pretty good.)
The universe has a beginning, but no end. —Infinite.
The stars too have beginnings, but their power accompanies their decline.  —Finite.
It the wise who are the most foolish. History has taught us as much.
The fish of the sea know not the world of the land. Were they to possess wisdom, they too would experience decline.
It is more absurd that humans should surpass the speed of light than it is that fish should start living on the land.
- Steins;Gate (anime / visual novel)


jorrdy12

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Well, after seeing the movie dozens of time's after eachother (and memorising most of the part i need) i can finally happily announce Chapter 2 of A New Guide :)
So have fun and if you find any mistakes, u may correct me on them, tips & tops can also be handy so i know what to do and what to not do :)

Oh! one thing i forgot to say, this movie plays in the first movie (the gang of five goes to the valley) but... With my little twist! :) this twist is that Ruby and Chomper are in here too. how? That is something you will need to read this story for, otherwise it wouldn't be fun would it now?

So lets begin shall we?

Chapter 2,

'Hmm, that's strange am i in the Cretaceous time period now? Because i can definitely see a; Apatosaurus, Triceratops, (And thanks to our marvelous Wikia i know which species the others are -.-) a Saurolophus, Stegosaurus, Oviraptor, a Pteranodon and a T-rex... Wait, what? A T-rex amongst other species and they are not scared of them? I guess that needs some more investigating.' Jordy thought, flabbergasted he was in the Cretaceous time period, and that somehow different species were interacting.

Suddenly he heard laughing coming from the children.

"I knew it was you! I knew it was you al along!" The small orange Triceratops shouted walking away proudly and arrogant which was litteraly rolling of her, but he could also feel, sadness?

Sneakily walking to her, without getting seen by the others, he went to sit on a rock nearby the small triceratops who was crying, for reason he did not know.

"What happened to you young one?" Jordy asked the small Triceratops who was sad and shocked someone followed her here.

"Why, can't i be as brave as i want to be? I want to be as brave as my Dad, not running away from anything, i want to be strong, i don't want to be afraid, i don't want to admit my mistakes, not to them.." The young Triceratops sadly said into her foot, then looking up at who talked she was shocked, he was so strange only needing 2 legs to walk.

"True bravery is not by not feeling scared, its by facing it. Strength doesn't come from being strong, it's gained by working hard, and having friends to trust upon. From mistakes we learn, so we won't make them the next time." Walking over to the young Triceratops and laying an hand on her head he continued "You should thankful you have friends that you can trust in, use that to get stronger but don't be proud and arrogant, it will not help you."

The young Triceratops then smiled at him "Thank you, do you want to join our 'herd'?"
(I know its crazy for Cera to ask that, but because i write it i can make her friendlier :) )
Jordy thought about it, he supposed he could. "Sure, and if i may ask; who's the little T-rex?"

"Oh you mean Chomper? he's friendly i think, Littlefoot trusts him, i don't yet. And my name's Cera." Cera kindly said to Jordy, thankful that he helped her.

Jordy suddenly got a huge headache and a moment of DÈja v? like he had heard that name before, shrugging it off he said "Lead the way."

And with that they walked back to the small 'herd'
The universe has a beginning, but no end. —Infinite.
The stars too have beginnings, but their power accompanies their decline.  —Finite.
It the wise who are the most foolish. History has taught us as much.
The fish of the sea know not the world of the land. Were they to possess wisdom, they too would experience decline.
It is more absurd that humans should surpass the speed of light than it is that fish should start living on the land.
- Steins;Gate (anime / visual novel)


CybertronianBrony

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It's the first film where they go to the valley and Chomper and Ruby are in it? Awesome!

I love it! Keep it up!



jorrdy12

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You might be confused as to why Jordy connected so easily to Cera, well it's because of his personality, he helps ones in problem (Especially ones with some kind of problem like shame, or emotions.)

So, i was bored when i made this, my internet had been down the whole day. So yeah, i had to do something.
I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Oh, so i thought it would make sense to actually let you know how i look like, so you can have some kind of picture when u read this story and u make a video in your head with it.
(Note this is when i was 13 so what i am now, so some things should change, but mostly my character goes around this information.
So here's me:

Height: 1.79 meters.
Wearing:
Black T-Shirt
Army colored cargo pants.
Red & black sneakers.

Eyes: Deep dark brown eyes.
Hair color: Very dark brown / black
accesoires: black smart watch on left arm.

So there we go, thats how i look like.

Chapter 3

Walking back Cera told Jordy who she was and who her friends were. They were surprised when they came back to the place and her friends weren't there.

"Where could they have gone?" Jordy asked himself and Cera. "So Cera, did anything interesting happen before i talked to you? Like you did something you regret." He looked at her and saw that she was full of guilt about something.

"Y-yeah, Littlefoot." Cera looked at him full of guilt. "The longneck." She clarified as she saw his face. "I called his mother stupid, even though she died protecting us." she was full of guilt of what she had done, and wanted nothing more than to just beg for forgiveness.

"So Jordy, how does your world look like?" Cera asked out of curiosity.

"*sigh* Well Cera, my world looks terrible, we almost have no nature and my species is everywhere, and your species..." With that Jordy fell quiet and looked away from her.
(Note: Cera had learned some words from Jordy; its weird for me to talk in 3rd person. )

"What are we Jordy?" She inquired, she wanted to know what was troubling him. He did it for her, she might as well help him back.

"*sigh* Extinct Cera, extinct, your species doesn't exist anymore. for me i traveled back in time for probably 150 million years, star days in your dialect." Jordy admitted. and Jordy knew their words because Cera teached him. (Handy right?)

"We.. We have been gone for that long?" she asked, flabbergast they weren't around in his time.

"Yes, however something has changed when i arrived here, because Threehorns and Longnecks never were supposed to meet. They would've ignored eachother, so that's different."

Suddenly they heard a ferocious roar in the distance, deciding to check it out they ran to it.

"Im sorry Cera, but i can not help with this threat, help them; your friends, but Sharptooth is beyond me, i will watch you though if you need help with something just shout my name and i will rush towards you. In the meantime i will be collecting rocks so i can atleast do something." And with that Jordy left going to find stones.


Meanwhile with Littlefoot and the rest. Couple minutes before the roar.
(NOTE: Ruby and Chomper have hatched a little after Spike, means they are still babies, and thus can't talk.)

*Cough* *Cough* *Cough* Petre coughed after getting out of the water. Suddenly a feroscious roar. "AAAH, SHARPTOOTH!" Petrie yelled out, running and climbing spike's claw.

"It's sharptooth!" Ducky shout/whispered. scared out of her bones, for sharptooth. They all saw Sharptooth climbing a mountain.

"Let's get rid of him once and for all." Littlefoot said to them, his voice full of determination.

"But how do we do that?" Ducky asked, curious of how.

"Look, we'll coach him to the deep end of the pond. He can't swim with those strawny arms." Looking up to a rock thats precisely above the deep end of the pond he continued "Me and Spike  will push that big rock on top of his head, and then he will fall of into the water! Petrie, you'll whistle when he's just at the right spot, where the water gets dark. Now we'll need some bait." Looking over to Ducky.

"Me!? Oh no, no-no-no, no-no-no." Ducky asked scared and flabbergast they would pick her, however she agreed.

Screaming behind Sharptooth, he noticed her and went rushing after her. However he fell with her into a rockslide, falling into the deep end of the pond Littlefoot and Spike were trying to push the rock together with young Ruby and Chomper however they couldn't get it pushed off, they almost lost hope until they heard a young female voice, changed of what proudness and skepticism it had earlier shout "I'M COMING!" and the young threehorn bashed into the stone sending the rock and Petrie into the water below.

"Petrie!" They all shouted in fear of his survival, however Cera had another plan. "JORDY! HELP US!" suddenly they heard running behind them. They turned to see Jordy running towards them, running to the small pond he went sad with what he saw; the water was too deep for him to swim, without getting damage atleast.

Looking up with a sad face he said "I'm sorry, i can't do anything at this moment, i will help him however if he can reach near the surface." Seeing something move in the corner of his eyes, he saw a small black dot going near the surface, looking closer he could see it looked close to a Pteranodon so he jumped in, swooped him up and swam back to solid ground.

"He's unconcious for a while, let him rest he will be fine." so Jordy let Petrie rest on the back of Spike.

And with that they began the journey to the Great Valley.

Okay, so this is Chapter 3.

I really hope you liked it. I had to write it 5 times because computer didn't like me at all. x(cera
Something i want to point out is that Jordy has massive headaches whenever he sees or hears a name of one of the Gang of Seven. That also comes with a sense of DËj· vu, this comes because his lost memories were of Land before time, the reason why i let him forget is something that you can probably see.

So this is me, beaming out / fizzling out / disappearing whatever.

I will see you soon in the next chapter probably!
(Thank goodness this site has some kind of storage when you accidently go back with backspace you will still keep your text, otherwise this would have been my 10th write.)
The universe has a beginning, but no end. —Infinite.
The stars too have beginnings, but their power accompanies their decline.  —Finite.
It the wise who are the most foolish. History has taught us as much.
The fish of the sea know not the world of the land. Were they to possess wisdom, they too would experience decline.
It is more absurd that humans should surpass the speed of light than it is that fish should start living on the land.
- Steins;Gate (anime / visual novel)


jorrdy12

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Sorry for double post i just had to ask you guys if you want this fanfic to go through all movies (and TV series.) Or only this one whoch would make it end pretty soon.

Which one do you want? Be sure to tell me :)
The universe has a beginning, but no end. —Infinite.
The stars too have beginnings, but their power accompanies their decline.  —Finite.
It the wise who are the most foolish. History has taught us as much.
The fish of the sea know not the world of the land. Were they to possess wisdom, they too would experience decline.
It is more absurd that humans should surpass the speed of light than it is that fish should start living on the land.
- Steins;Gate (anime / visual novel)


jorrdy12

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GOOOEEEEEEEDDDEE MIDDDAA- wait, wrong language? oh. Sorry about that!
Sorry about this not having been updated for a long time, but it's rather pressuring with you have 2 stories to work on :)

Admins/Mods can you please delete my reply above about the question? Thank you :)

The ending of this story will be soon so i want you guys to answer the question (reply?) above from me indicating if you guys want me to create a story about me being in multiple movies or just this one fanfic and then me continuing on my other story and the other ones i create.
But for now that doesn't matter because im here with another chapter! so you can go celebrate, run around in the neighbourhood shouting that there's a new chapter, even cry if you hate this story or throw you computer out of the airlock.

Lets begin with the chapter because i've been talking way too much.

Chapter 4; A New Guide; Towards the Great Valley, 5 minutes after last chapter.

"Hey, have any of you guys seen Jordy?" Littlefoot asked his friends as they just past the rock that looks like a longneck (Yes, i don't care how the movie goes anymore they'll get there MY way x(cera , get the song reference?)

"I have not seen him, no no no..." Ducky sadly said 'I still can't believe we are in such dead land, no no no...'

suddenly they heard quiet feet approach them, quickly turning around they saw that Jordy was walking towards them.

Littlefoot walked up to him and asked "Hey Jordy! Where have you been?"

Jordy looked down ".....Eating..." and began walking further.

The friends all looked to eachother worriedly but decided to shrug it off and walk further too.

Littlefoot suddenly fell down because of a wrong step he took and landed in a small cave with 2 openings either side, walking towards one he saw...

A land full of food, water, families he even could find his grandparents from here!
looking back he shouted, "Cera, Ducky, Spike, Ruby, Chomper, Jordy Over here! I found the Great Valley!" he could hear rushed footsteps coming towards him.

First Cera appeared, then Ducky, Ruby, Spike and then Chomper Jordy however didn't come.

"Hey, where's Jordy" Cera asked.

"...Above you..." suddenly they all looked up to see him casually sitting on a rock above them "Good you finally noticed me."

Looking back Littlefoot whispered with a sad undertone. "We're home..."

So, did you guys like this one? I'm sorry if this one was a little bad, sue my writing skills thank you guys for reading and if you don't like anything just comment tips are always welcome

and Please answer the question
'Should i make this only for Movie 1, or also for the rest of the movies?'
Thanks and im go- *disappears in a puff of smoke*
The universe has a beginning, but no end. —Infinite.
The stars too have beginnings, but their power accompanies their decline.  —Finite.
It the wise who are the most foolish. History has taught us as much.
The fish of the sea know not the world of the land. Were they to possess wisdom, they too would experience decline.
It is more absurd that humans should surpass the speed of light than it is that fish should start living on the land.
- Steins;Gate (anime / visual novel)