The Gang of Five
The Land Before Time => LBT Fanfiction => Topic started by: Ducky123 on March 23, 2016, 08:47:02 PM
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Well, this happens when inspiration strikes :lol
So... this is going to be a separate fanfic not in any way related to my other stories (don't worry, Shorty's Dark Past is not going to be discontinued ;)). Unlike my other fanfictions, this one will be trying to focus on being funny and silly while still maintaining a certain degree of seriousness. At least I'll try :DD I hope writing this is going to get me back into writing my main fics again, yep, yep, yep. :nod
The first chapter may not be extremely interesting yet, but I need some sort of introduction to get into the story and introduce to reader to our main problem: PUBERTY
:sducky
Enjoy :exactly
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The Dreadful Time Of Great Growing:
Chapter 1: A new day at the Great Valley
"Littlefoot, time to wake up." Grandma Lockneck bent down her neck in order to nudge her grandson awake.
The Bright Circle had just rosen above the eastern peeks of the great wall surrounding the Great Valley and its inhabitants, protecting them from harm coming from the Mysterious Beyond. The morning air was still cool, but the hot season was just around the corner. And so were festivities to celebrate it...
Littlefoot shifted around in his sleep but otherwise didn't seem to be awake at all.
"Littlefoooot..." the elderly Longneck cooed. "Come on you sleepyhead, only little babies refuse to get up in the morning."
"We may have to carry him to his early morning lesson with Mr. Thicknose," Grandpa Longneck joked as he joined the scene.
"Oh shut up you two..." Littlefoot groaned, unwillingly opening his eyes and stretching his legs. "Like I'm a baby... pfft!"
"Works every time..." Grandma teased.
"Oh why so grumpy, Littlefoot?" Grandpa then asked, obviously enjoying himself, much to the displeasure of his grandson. "What do you think, Grandma? Should we put the old rule back into place that children have to come home before the darkness?"
"Well..."
"Don't you dare..." Littlefoot warned.
"We could..." Grandpa chuckled.
"Aren't you happy that the Bright Circle returned to us like it always does?" Grandma spoke up, wearing a warm smile.
"Oh yes, totally!" Littlefoot rolled his eyes. Under his breath, he muttered. "Like it ever wouldn't..."
"Oh, you never know in this wonderful and mysterious world we live in," Grandpa argued who, in spite of his ever worsening sense of hearing, had picked up what Littlefoot had said.
Getting up, Littlefoot announced. "Well, now that I'm awake, I might as well get going. Knowing Thicknose, he'll be waiting for us already..." The young Longneck rolled his eyes again.
"Eat something before you leave, dear!" Grandma urged him but Littlefoot didn't listen.
"I'll eat on the way there, bye!" With that, he walked away.
Grandma sighed. "Sometimes I wish he was little again..."
Grandpa nodded. "Yes, but that the way things are. Children grow... and elders get even older and frail."
Both Longnecks looked at each other, sharing a hearty fit of laughter.
"Oh you're right, Grandpa. You're so right..." She leaned her neck against his, watching her grandson until he disappeared into the foliage...
>>>
Cera felt something softly pushing her against her cheek. Upon opening her eyes, she was met by the blinding rays of the Bright Circle...
"Cera wake up!" Tricia pushed her big sister again.
Cera suddenly felt the urge to ram her against the nearest tree. Nobody dared to wake her up this early in the morning and got away with it. However, she had to admit that she was too lazy to put her plan into action.
"Oh Tricia you little pest," the orange Threehorn moaned. "How about I wake you up in the middle of the night..."
The young pink Threehorn simply wiggled with her tail and giggled.
"Okay, what do you want?" Cera questioned as diplomatic as she could, holding back her anger about being woken up upon seeing her cute little sister. "Just so that you know, Tricia, I'm NOT going to play games with you, got that?"
"Tricia has message from mommy, you get up now and go to Mister Dicknose she said!"
"His name is THICKnose, sweety, not DICKnose!" Cera rightened her, yawning boomingly before getting up. "Riiiight... I need to go to Mister Thicknose today..." Cera now remembered. "Well, I'll go to Mister Thicknose now to see what kind of nonsense he's going to tell us this time! Oh gee..."
"Okay, bye Cera!" Tricia called happily.
Just when Cera had almost left, Tria returned to the nest.
"Morning Cera, did you sleep well?" she asked warmly.
"Do I need to answer that?" Cera remarked sarcastically.
"Tria chuckled. "I see you were successful, Tricia. Good girl!"
The little Threehorn pivotted a few times, pleased of herself.
Meanwhile, Mr. Threehorn let out a loud snore.
"Oh Topsy, you get up too!" Tria shoved her mate with little to no effect.
Cera decided to stay a little longer for she suspected something to happen that would at least mildly entertain her. She knew for sure Thicknose's lesson wouldn't...
"Tooopsy!" Tria tried to reach him with her sweet voice. His only response was yet another snore.
"Tooopsy!" This time her tone was accusing and threatening.
Tricia was entertained to no end by the display. "Daddy, daddy get up! Get up!" She called to support her mum.
Yet, no reaction from the sleeping Threehorn.
Tria considered what else she could try to convince her mate to wake up... and came to a solution.
"Topsy, do you really want Cera to be better in getting up than you? Wouldn't it be a shame for you to lose against her? Think about what the old longneck would say?"
"Oh, nonsense..." Mr. Threehorn babbled in his sleep.
Tria stared at him angrily. "Well, if you insist on doing it the hard way..." The pink Threehorn went a few steps back and subsequently rammed into her mate, pushing him down the cliff next to their nest. "Now he should be awake..." she spoke to herself but loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Hey! What was that for?!" Mr. Threehorn yelled from down there, causing all three females to erupt into laughter.
Cera instantly felt a lot better. "I knew this would be entertaining..." she mused. Not feeling up to the argument that was likely to come soon, she quickly took off.
"I need to go now, seeya's!"
"Bye Cera!" Tria replied. "Oh, and don't forget to tell me what you learned!"
"As long as he doesn't tell us about babies or how to take over the world..."
Tria laughed. "Who knows? Have fun!"
Cera rolled her eyes before finally escaping the nest.
>>>
Ducky was jumping across a meadow where countless flowers grew. The meadow seemed to extend beyond the horizon. While she knew some flowers, many others were completely alien to her. However, many of these flowers were among the prettiest she had ever seen. Some were pink, others were red, yellow, orange or even purple! And some even wore blossoms of multiple colours.
The swimmer girl inhalated the cool, fresh air through her nose and it smelled wonderful. All the flowers she could see were emitting their very unique smell, reaching her nose as a cocktail of aromatic smells. She hummed in total satisfaction, letting herself fall into the ocean of flowers, closing her eyes, stretching her arms and legs and enjoying the breathtaking smell that greeted her nose.
After a while she opened her eyes again. Suddenly, another Swimmer stood right before her eyes. It was a boy of her age, looking at her coolly, raising his eyebrows. In his hands were huge flowers with red blossoms of complicated build and shape.
Ducky opened her beak in awe – she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Am I dreaming?" she wondered.
"Hello sweetheart," he spoke up sweetly.
Ducky looked at the boy, examining him. His facial features were perfect, his body was strong and muscular, his body had the brightest shade of green she had ever seen, his crest was long and handsome. On top of that, he had this cool gaze and those blue, sparkling eyes that seemed to scan every inch of her body.
"He is perfect, yes he is!" Ducky thought, falling into a trance, staring at the boy, awestruck.
"You're the sweetest girl I've ever seen," the boy spoke again, approaching Ducky who was frozen on the spot. The boy grabbed her hands softly. Then he whispered into her ears.
"When I saw you, I knew what to do,
I plucked these blossoms only for you.
I confess that I love you,
But I wonder: Do you love me too?"
It was the sweetest thing the young girl had ever heard. Her heart was melting upon hearing them.
"Yep, yep, yep," she whispered without hesitating.
Before Ducky knew what was going on, the boy had pulled her into a tight embrace, placing his beak on hers, kissing her. Despite not knowing what to do, Ducky returned the kiss.
*screech* *screech*
Suddenly, Ducky heard the ever so annoying screeches of the flyers who were greeting the new day as always, being painfully catapulted back into reality.
"Oh, it was just a dream, it was, it was..." she mumbled sleepily with some disappointment in her voice. However, upon feeling the first warm rays of the Bright Circle on her skin, her mood immediately improved and the Swimmer pushed the romantic dream out of her mind.
"Oh, it is morning already, yes it is!" she exclaimed merrily, waking up the rest of her family who didn't already wake up at the sound of the clamorous flyers – except for Spike of course.
"Good morning, children," Ducky's Mother spoke with her usual warm voice, getting a mixed choir of "good morning mommy"'s as a response. Turning to Ducky, she mentioned. "Ducky, remember that you and Spike have an appointment with Mr. Thicknose today."
"I know mommy but I think Spike does not, oh no, no, no," Ducky responded, turning to the snoring Spiketail while chuckling.
"He is sleeping as always..." one of Ducky's siblings stated in a mixture of annoyance and amusement.
"Spiky! Get up!!! We need to GO!!!" Ducky yelled at her little brother, trying to lift him up but obviously failing.
"Spike, you don't want to be late at Mr. Thicknose's lesson, do you?"
Spike showed no reaction whatsoever.
"Spiiiike!" Ducky imitated her mother accurately. "If you do not get up right now, you may not have dinner today, no, no, no!"
All of a sudden, Spike sat up, gazing at Ducky frantically, then anxiously shifting his gaze to his mother.
"That's correct, Spike. If you don't get up now, there will not be any food for you before going to the nest," his mother impended though she couldn't stay serious, seeing the shocked expression of the Spiketail.
Everyone started laughing heartily at the expense of Spike.
"Well, now you are awake so we can go to Mr. Thicknose and you may have your dinner tonight, yep, yep, yep," Ducky told Spike, still giggling.
Spike's gaze shifted to his mother again, looking at her pleadingly.
"If you go to Mr. Thicknose with Ducky, you don't need to fear anything, Spike. I was only joking," she explained, smiling.
At that, Spike instantly relaxed, grinning.
"Well, let us go, Spiky!" Ducky suggested. The Spiketail nodded in response.
"I'm going to assume you will have your breakfast on the way then?" the adult Swimmer asked mischievously.
"Yep, yep, yep!" Ducky replied. "Spike always does that anyway, hehehe."
Her statement got a good portion of her siblings another laughing fit. Spike just grinned.
"Goodbye, mommy!" Ducky called, jumping on Spike's back before waving goodbye.
Her mother and siblings waved the two unlikely siblings their goodbye as well.
>>>
"Eww, what's that smell?!"
"Not AGAIN!!!"
"Petrie, are you kiddin' me???"
"You little stinkbug!"
"Sleep somewhere else!"
"I HATE you, Petrie!"
"Petrie..."
Lots of voices were suddenly raining down on the little flyer, rudely disturbing his peaceful slumber. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted with lots of angry faces and one face that couldn't decide whether to be angry or not. Then he realised what had happened...
"Me did it... AGAIN!?!" Embarrassment spread through his body, he started shaking and turned as red as the eye of an angry Sharptooth.
"Petrie... aren't you a bit too old for this?" Mama Flyer spoke to him in a mixture of disappointment and regret. On the one hand, she was a bit mad at her son for continuously having these accidents but she also couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It was something beyond his control after all...
"I, for once, am sick of it! If you ask me, he shouldn't be part of this family anymore!" the most dominant of Petrie's siblings shouted into Petrie's face, his siblings raising their fists angrily.
"Yeah!" some of them yelled in support of the statement their brother made.
"DON'T you ever say that again!" Momma Flyer suddenly yelled. "He's as much part of the family as you!"
"But Mum!" Petrie's siblings retorted in unison.
"No "buts", we'll have a talk about that later..."
"Wait, did you say..." one of Petrie's sibling chuckled. "B-b-butt?!"
"Well, we should whack Petrie's butt if you ask me!" One of Petrie's sisters shouted enthusiastically, both statements causing the group to start roaring and rolling on the floor laughing.
"STOP IT NOW!!!" Petrie's mother screamed, instantly silencing the crowd. "Leave the cave. NOW! I don't want to see any of you until dawn, got that!? ALSO, you'll be home before dark today, no "buts"!!!"
"Hahaha, she said it again!" one of them laughed. The others joined in.
Wrath erupted in the adult Flyer. Uttering a terrifying shriek, she spread her wings, chasing her naughty children out at last. Panting heavily, she eventually turned to Petrie who was still trembling, sitting in his own puddle.
"I am sorry for the behavior of your siblings. They are simply out of control lately..." the female Flyer sighed.
"Me sorry..." Petrie finally spoke quietly.
"I don't blame you, Petrie," she responded, though somewhat harsh. "However, this has to stop! You cannot pee all over the nest forever!"
"But me no know how!" Petrie retorted weakly, tears beginning to fall.
"Neither do I..." His mother started pacing. "One of my sisters was a late wetter as well but it had stopped when she had reached the Time of Great Growing. However, you should reach this time fairly soon, Petrie. Your siblings certainly already have! Hmpff!"
"That be bad?" Petrie sobbed.
"No, considering how your siblings are acting as of late, I'm glad you're not like that... and you better don't become like them!" she answered gruffly. "Anyway, you need to be at Mr. Thicknose's morning lesson. Clean yourself and take a bath before to go there and return home right after the lesson! We need to talk...and I need to clean up the mess you made..."
"O-okay..." Petrie choked back a sob. Getting up, he slowly walked towards the opening of the cave, his head hanging low.
"Oh, and stop crying like a hatchling, Petrie! You're supposed to be looking after girl's at your age, not crying around so cut it out!"
"Me will..." Petrie mumbled before taking off, flying towards a nearby watering hole where he bathed... and cried...
>>>
The first thing Chomper noticed, was that smell. It would always be strongest right after sunrise when the food started flying, humming and crawling around everywhere. The bugs, the crawlers, the butter- and fireflies – heck, even those annoying bastards that always sucked your blood... As if on command, his belly started emitting a roar his dad would have been proud of.
Chomper had grown significantly since the end of the Cold Time and so had his hunger – however, his food didn't get bigger at all. It had been months since he had eaten enough to be really full...
"Hmm, I am hungry as always..." Chomper noted sadly. He knew he couldn't feed himself on Flying Buzzers forever, he knew he would have to leave eventually... but he tried to be fine living with his friends for as long as he could.
Usually, Chomper would go out for his morning hunt but today there'd be the lesson with Thicknose before breakfast. That also meant he had to wake up Ruby who was peacefully sleeping to his right. Looking at his friend, however, suddenly Chomper couldn't help but wonder how those thighs, the tail or the belly of Ruby would taste. Fortunately, he caught himself before his mind took over completely.
"No! I mustn't allow this to happen!" he urged himself, knowing that one day he wouldn't be able to stop himself from doing what he had to do. Before he could develop any secondary thoughts, the child within him suddenly came up with a great idea that he instantly put into action...
Ruby suddenly felt a weird sensation on her belly. First, she didn't pay it any attention but then it suddenly turned into a hardcore tickly feeling. Instinctively, she started kicking her legs, protecting her belly by forming a ball out of her body.
"Wake up, Ruby!" Chomper laughed.
"Chomper! This is not funny, not funny it is!" Ruby declared in annoyance. "You do know that I don't like being tickled?"
"Well, that's exactly why I did it!" Chomper replied, sticking out his tongue.
"You little mischievous Sharptooth..." Ruby then teased, forgetting her anger.
"Well, I had to wake you up because we need to go to Mr. Thicknose, right?" Chomper explained himself.
"Oh, do we?" Ruby scratched her head. "Oh right, yes we do. I remember now because if I wouldn't have remembered I wouldn't know we have to go..."
Chomper rolled his eyes. "Whatever, let's go. I wanna catch some food on the way – I'm starving!"
"Yes, we need to go or we may be late, late we may be!" Ruby spoke.
>>>
So on this beautiful late spring morning in the Great Valley, Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie, Spike, Chomper and Ruby were all heading to Mister Thicknose's early morning lesson, all wondering what crackpot ideas the oldest and wisest resident of the Valley had in store for them this time. However, they would soon realise that the lesson to come would be far more helpful than it first seemed...
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Well, there you have it. I would like you to tell me if this is somewhat good or if it's crap :DD I think I've already made clear at this point what possible problems the gang may have to deal but the really interesting chapter will be the next one as it will be causing quite some trouble later on in the story :p
I'd especially like to hear your thoughts on each separate scene. I've tried to put some diversity in there. Also, please tell me if the poem Ducky is being told is any good :sducky
AS of right now, it seems like Petrie and Chomper are the ones in trouble at this point but this is only the first chapter ^^
I also hope I didn't go too far with the jokes I made and the curse words I used here and there. Please tell me if I did...
Okay, so the next chapter may be there rather soon because I'm hooked into the story right now... gotta take advantage of that while it lasts... :exactly
EDIT: changed the two lines people were suggesting to word differently + added a chapter title since chapter 2 got one as well ^^spike
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Haha, I loved Ducky's dream and Topsy's rude awakening😂.
Poor Petrie, though. He should give it to them, telling them it's great to be different and if they don't like it they can kiss his...yeah, you get the idea lol😉.
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Well if that one isn't off to a good start. I'm also curious about how the next chapter is going to be like, even if (or especially because) I already know one important detail. :D
I liked the different scenes, I just can't really imagine Petrie doing what he does in his scene. Screaming everyone awake because of a nightmare would seem more likely, but that's just me. :D
Also, I would avoid lines like "The crowd started laughing their asses off." when it's a narration. If the gang talks like that, well, growing up...comes with some changes. :D
The poem seemed fine to me.
Well then, since you said you're in the mood to write, I hope we won't have to wait a long time for the next chapter. :D
Also Chomper, keep your jaws to yourself. :sducky
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Very good Intro Ducky. Nice wake up call for Topps :lol Everything else plays out very well. Petrie's siblings appear to be very....er...Hyper. I noticed that most of the Littlefoot and Cera had a little trouble getting up. Nice word play between the longnecks :yes Also Chomper seems a lot bigger and predatory, interesting to see what problems this might cause. Waking Ruby up was neat and you captured the way she talks perfectly. Overall I can't wait to see what you have install for the next chapters. I'm particularly interested in Ducky's expectations of what type of guy she is looking out for, Ohhhh I'm very excited at this, I wonder how you will do it ;)
Overall very well done, hope to see more soon.
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You got me hooked into this story, Ducky; I'll be looking forward to reading more. I can't name one scene I liked the most since I found the whole thing entertaining. Keep it up.
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I loved it! I say you got the bits of humor down along with the tid-bits of seriousness.
I really did not expect Littlefoot to be so…sassy with his grandparents. I honestly can’t see him being like that as he grows up. (Though, I guess I can see it be like that if he lived with his dad and Shorty). Maybe a bit more stubborn and a tad-bit of a rule breaker, but not as bad as Cera. I did find the comments between Grandma and Grandpa Longneck amusing and cute. :)
You got Cera down pat with her grumpy, rebellious side yet light-heartedness when she sees her cute little sister. The joke with Mr. Thicknose’s name, XD. However, Tricia probably would not talk the way you wrote her. The mispronunciation is fine at her age, but how you had her speak was…weird. I don’t know how old the Gang is in you fanfics, but I’ll just guess. If Tricia was hatched when Cera was between 7-9 years old and now she is…11-13, Tricia’s going to be between 2-7 years old. So…she may be able to speak properly, she may not. Or, are you doing a Ruby thing, where she says things in a strange way and it’s just how she speaks? Anyway, looks like Topps is a heavy sleeper XD.
I loved Ducky with her romantic dream. I can always see her as a boy-crazy girl always looking for love. The poem was perfect, don’t worry about it. It fit nicely in the dream and it was romantic. I say you got Ducky down on how I would envision her as a teen. Spike too, with his love of food and sleep.
Petrie’s nest wetting was a bit…different. I agree with what RockingScorpion said about it. I don’t see him as a nest wetter, but I could definitely see him doing something to wake his siblings up or do something to put them against him. RockingScorpion’s idea of him always waking them up with a nightmare would work well. I also agree with RockingScorpion that “laughing their asses off,” part should be worded without ëass’ as it is the narration. You got the dynamics down and with his mother’s rage then her comforting him. Overall, I like this scene too.
Now, Chomper and Ruby. That one you got perfect. Like most fics, Chomper is growing too big to just eat bugs, soon, he will need bigger prey. Even the thought of eating Ruby crossed his mind, yikes! I don’t know if Chomper would say “shit” since he is younger than the rest of the Gang and he seemed pretty docile from what I have seen from him (I have not watched at of the TV series other than the first episode). But maybe his carnivorous nature makes him more of a cuss-er, you decide.
Overall, awesome little piece of work you have going. I can’t wait to read the next chapter. I really want to see what this lesson is all about. Oh, and is it possible that you could post this on fanfiction.net too?
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Whoa, not everybody at once :lol
Haha, I loved Ducky's dream and Topsy's rude awakening.
Poor Petrie, though. He should give it to them, telling them it's great to be different and if they don't like it they can kiss his...yeah, you get the idea lol
Thanks for the review, Anna :) I'm glad you liked these scenes!
Yeah, Petrie just needs some confidence in himself to stand up against his mean siblings ;)
Well if that one isn't off to a good start. I'm also curious about how the next chapter is going to be like, even if (or especially because) I already know one important detail.
Why thanks :DD
I liked the different scenes, I just can't really imagine Petrie doing what he does in his scene. Screaming everyone awake because of a nightmare would seem more likely, but that's just me.
Also, I would avoid lines like "The crowd started laughing their asses off." when it's a narration. If the gang talks like that, well, growing up...comes with some changes.
Constructive critism is always welcomed, thanks :) I kinda knew you may not like Petrie's scene yet I think it's something never portraited in the movies. I think I may have to keep it subtle when I'm writing about it... still your idea is also good. Way to go to piss his siblings off even more :DD
The poem seemed fine to me.
Whew...
Well then, since you said you're in the mood to write, I hope we won't have to wait a long time for the next chapter.
I shall start writing chapter 2 tomorrow, so it'll probably get finished before I need to go to work again :p
Very good Intro Ducky.
Thank you!
Nice wake up call for Topps
Yeah, I know right? :p
Petrie's siblings appear to be very....er...Hyper.
I think that's putting it mildly... :smile They're beyond control! ^^spike
I noticed that most of the Littlefoot and Cera had a little trouble getting up.
You know... staying up late and getting up early doesn't work well ^^
Nice word play between the longnecks
Hehe, thanks ^^
Also Chomper seems a lot bigger and predatory, interesting to see what problems this might cause.
Well, of course the others got bigger too but yeah, true. It'll be interesting...
Waking Ruby up was neat and you captured the way she talks perfectly
Awesome :)
Overall I can't wait to see what you have install for the next chapters. I'm particularly interested in Ducky's expectations of what type of guy she is looking out for, Ohhhh I'm very excited at this, I wonder how you will do it
Well, I maaaaay have an idea there ;)
Overall very well done, hope to see more soon.
Thanks again, I shall see more soon, yep, yep, yep!
I loved it! I say you got the bits of humor down along with the tid-bits of seriousness.
Awesome, thanks! :)littlefoot
I really did not expect Littlefoot to be so…sassy with his grandparents. I honestly can’t see him being like that as he grows up. (Though, I guess I can see it be like that if he lived with his dad and Shorty). Maybe a bit more stubborn and a tad-bit of a rule breaker, but not as bad as Cera. I did find the comments between Grandma and Grandpa Longneck amusing and cute.
Yeah, it's hard to think of Littlefoot as a grumpy teenager :p Still I can't really imagine him just staying the way he is... Glad you liked the exchange between his grandparents. I also thought it'd be cute ^^
You got Cera down pat with her grumpy, rebellious side yet light-heartedness when she sees her cute little sister. The joke with Mr. Thicknose’s name, XD. However, Tricia probably would not talk the way you wrote her. The mispronunciation is fine at her age, but how you had her speak was…weird. I don’t know how old the Gang is in you fanfics, but I’ll just guess. If Tricia was hatched when Cera was between 7-9 years old and now she is…11-13, Tricia’s going to be between 2-7 years old. So…she may be able to speak properly, she may not. Or, are you doing a Ruby thing, where she says things in a strange way and it’s just how she speaks? Anyway, looks like Topps is a heavy sleeper XD.
Cera is fun to write :lol Yeah, that joke ^^ It's not even a joke at all in their world but in ours it totally is!
Could you specify what was weird about Tricia's way of talking? I was thinking she would kinda talk like Petrie, saying her name instead of saying "I" plus still making a mistake here and there. To answer your question, I think the gang already is kind of close to that time in the later movies (maybe like 10-11 something...). This would be like 2 years after LBT 14 so they'd be like 12-13 (Spike and Chomper being a bit younger, Ruby being a bit older...). Tricia would be like a 3 yrs old little kid, capable of talking but not yet flawlessly.
Topps wins the "Heaviest Sleeper Award" for sure :smile
I loved Ducky with her romantic dream. I can always see her as a boy-crazy girl always looking for love. The poem was perfect, don’t worry about it. It fit nicely in the dream and it was romantic. I say you got Ducky down on how I would envision her as a teen. Spike too, with his love of food and sleep.
Glad you liked that part! I kinda see Ducky a little different but your view is also quite plausible if you ask me :DD I rather see her as that girl who would be thinking about love indeed but being too childish to go beyond worshipping guys :lol I didn't have her change her behavior so far, she's still cute and happy-go-lucky as always...
Btw, I think I'd much rather see Petrie as a hopeless romantic than Ducky ^^
Petrie’s nest wetting was a bit…different. I agree with what RockingScorpion said about it. I don’t see him as a nest wetter, but I could definitely see him doing something to wake his siblings up or do something to put them against him. RockingScorpion’s idea of him always waking them up with a nightmare would work well. I also agree with RockingScorpion that “laughing their asses off,” part should be worded without ëass’ as it is the narration. You got the dynamics down and with his mother’s rage then her comforting him. Overall, I like this scene too.
I see you're a bit edgy about that nestwetting scene as well... At this point I could still change it but I've got a whole sub-plot planned for him... :confused I'm glad you still liked everything else about this scene though, yep, yep, yep!
Now, Chomper and Ruby. That one you got perfect. Like most fics, Chomper is growing too big to just eat bugs, soon, he will need bigger prey. Even the thought of eating Ruby crossed his mind, yikes! I don’t know if Chomper would say “shit” since he is younger than the rest of the Gang and he seemed pretty docile from what I have seen from him (I have not watched at of the TV series other than the first episode). But maybe his carnivorous nature makes him more of a cuss-er, you decide.
Yeah, it's a theme in several fics but you can go for so many different options with Chomper... ^^
You really think the scene is perfect? :angel
Well, I think Sharpteeth are masters at cursing, or maybe I just read too much of "The Seven Hunters"? Anyway, you got a point. I'll think about it again...
Overall, awesome little piece of work you have going. I can’t wait to read the next chapter. I really want to see what this lesson is all about. Oh, and is it possible that you could post this on fanfiction.net too?
Thanks again! Considering all the positive feedback I received in such a short time, I think I'm absolutely going too as soon as I've got a few chapter's written (I'm usually lacking behind on ff.net anyway because I'm too lazy to upload the chapters over there too ^^)
Ugh, enough quoting for today...
Thanks for all the feedback, guys! When I uploaded this last night, I wasn't so sure if it's any good but now I'm confident I'll get somewhere with this story!
So since some readers didn't really like the nestwetting idea what do the others think. Would it work out better if Petrie just did other things to annoy his siblings? Let me know what you think
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I think the Tricia’s talking/speech pattern thing is fine now. I was just thinking of her older, like five or six-ish. I understand what you’re doing.
You don’t have to change a thing with Petrie’s nest wetting issue. It’s your story, do what you want. It doesn’t bother that much.
I say, keep Chomper from swearing too much since he hasn’t been living with other carnivores and is still young.
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My thoughts so far:
--Littlefoot being the sassafrass in the longneck family...didn't quite expect that, but still a unique change.
--"Mr. Dicknose"...I don't think I'll ever forgive that name. :lol Cera and Tricia being cute as always, great start for them.
--Poor Ducky being the dreamer of getting attached to that perfect boy swimmer (nice poem as well), but in the meantime, she's still the Ducky I love. Spike of course is...well, Spike.
--Surprised that Petrie is still wee-weeing himself at his current age. :p Of course, his siblings are immature jerkass teenagers. Am I the only one who got a punchline out of "The crew laughed their asses off"? At least his mother is there to give his some form of encouragement.
--The scene with Chomper and Ruby is awesomely captured as well.
In short, I like this story so far. Gee, I wonder what the next chapter will be about... :lol
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Great so far! Very funny :lol
I actually really like the idea of Petrie's nest-wetting as a character flaw. He's so anxious and self-doubting, I can totally see it affecting him. Maybe it's his body's response to scary sleep stories :(petrie
Also love the other characters. I can see littlefoot getting sassy as he ages, especially if he gets restless. I have a feeling he's used to roaming by now :)littlefoot
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My thoughts so far:
--Littlefoot being the sassafrass in the longneck family...didn't quite expect that, but still a unique change.
--"Mr. Dicknose"...I don't think I'll ever forgive that name. dino_laugh.gif Cera and Tricia being cute as always, great start for them.
--Poor Ducky being the dreamer of getting attached to that perfect boy swimmer (nice poem as well), but in the meantime, she's still the Ducky I love. Spike of course is...well, Spike.
--Surprised that Petrie is still wee-weeing himself at his current age. dino_tongue.gif Of course, his siblings are immature jerkass teenagers. Am I the only one who got a punchline out of "The crew laughed their asses off"? At least his mother is there to give his some form of encouragement.
--The scene with Chomper and Ruby is awesomely captured as well.
In short, I like this story so far. Gee, I wonder what the next chapter will be about... dino_laugh.gif
Thanks for the review! :wow
Hehe, well it's how I imagine Littlefoot to become like when he's older :p
Dicknose... be glad that I'm not good enough at drawing to draw a "Dicknose" ^^spike
Yep, yep, yep, Ducky still hasn't changed much though she's beginning to change as the dream indicates ;) Glad you like the poem as well ! And Spike... well, what could possibly change Spike? He'll always be the always hungry, relaxed and mute Spiketail :smile
You couldn't put it better... his siblings are indeed immature little jerkasses :exactly
Glad you also like the Ruby/Chomper scene :)
Also glad you like the idea overall so far :DD Sit back and let me surprise you with the next chapter :exactly
Great so far! Very funny dino_laugh.gif
I actually really like the idea of Petrie's nest-wetting as a character flaw. He's so anxious and self-doubting, I can totally see it affecting him. Maybe it's his body's response to scary sleep stories sadpetrie_by_rockingscorpion-d9nxkqn.png
Also love the other characters. I can see littlefoot getting sassy as he ages, especially if he gets restless. I have a feeling he's used to roaming by now littlefoot1_by_rockingscorpion-d9nxnsx.png
Glad you like the story so far! :D
That's exactly what I thought when I decided to have him deal with this "issue"... Could be an idea to combine scary sleepstories with it. Others have been suggesting to use them already so that'd be the perfect link...
Glad you like the rest as well :smile
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This is a very nice beginning indeed. :yes It seems that our beloved gang has begun to grow older (finally :p ) and with those physical changes, come the behavioral ones as well. The way that you took a simple premise (the gang waking up and going to see Mr. Dicknose... I mean Thicknose) and used it to explore their changes in demeanor was an excellent story-telling technique. It is far better to let the story at 'show' those changes than to 'tell' them using exposition. Between Ducky beginning to dream about boys, Littlefoot developing a slight amount of attitude, and Cera being... well... Cera... I now find myself curious as to how their friendship will evolve as time goes on. My curiosity is especially focused on Chomper and Ruby, as Ruby is probably the oldest of the group (might she be the first to seek out a mate? And would the valley let her 'boyfriend' in?) and Chomper's problems need no further elaboration on my part. He might very well have to part ways soon. If so I wonder if he might remain 'flyer-pals' with the gang as using a flyer messenger is the only way in which I can imagine a long-distance friendship would work in the LBT world.
So many possibilities. I look forward to seeing how things develop. :)
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This is a very nice beginning indeed. in-yes.gif It seems that our beloved gang has begun to grow older (finally dino_tongue.gif ) and with those physical changes, come the behavioral ones as well. The way that you took a simple premise (the gang waking up and going to see Mr. Dicknose... I mean Thicknose) and used it to explore their changes in demeanor was an excellent story-telling technique. It is far better to let the story at 'show' those changes than to 'tell' them using exposition. Between Ducky beginning to dream about boys, Littlefoot developing a slight amount of attitude, and Cera being... well... Cera... I now find myself curious as to how their friendship will evolve as time goes on. My curiosity is especially focused on Chomper and Ruby, as Ruby is probably the oldest of the group (might she be the first to seek out a mate? And would the valley let her 'boyfriend' in?) and Chomper's problems need no further elaboration on my part. He might very well have to part ways soon. If so I wonder if he might remain 'flyer-pals' with the gang as using a flyer messenger is the only way in which I can imagine a long-distance friendship would work in the LBT world.
Thank you for the review :p
Uhm, if this is a story-telling technique then I used it unintentionally :lol Showing is always better than just telling, that's what I was thinking... yep, yep, yep!
Their friendship... well, you'll see how that'll evolve :)
I have a few possibilities for Ruby in mind, but I'm not yet settled which one to go for. I'll just see how the story progresses and use whatever fits best when the time comes :p As for Chomper, the logical end of the story is quite obvious but as you point out there are some possibilities ;)
Started working on chapter 2 now. I'll probably have it finished by sunday
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Oooh! I'll be keeping an eye on this! I'm all for stories like this. ^^spike It's always interesting to me to see our gang growing up.
P.S. (Mr. Dicknose I'm crying send halp) :spit
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Oooh! I'll be keeping an eye on this! I'm all for stories like this. land_before_time8_disneyscreencaps_com_2484_by_rockingscorpion-d9nxkr0.png It's always interesting to me to see our gang growing up.
Thanks, that's great to hear :DD
P.S. (Mr. Dicknose I'm crying send halp) spit.gif
^^spike
Alright guys, chapter 2 is finished. I'll proofread, do all the annoying coding work on the post here and then you can have the next one. Just hang in there...
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Well, here you go :lol
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Chapter 2: The Lesson
The meeting place was a small, secluded clearing in the middle of one of the many forests within the Great Valley. The location was surrounded by really old trees which blocked out the rays of the Bright Circle with their massive crowns, whose trunks were really thick and strong – some even as thick as the leg of a grown-up Longneck, and whose roots were sticking out of the ground at some spots. Big, flat rocks and a couple treetrunks were positioned around a big rock in the center of the clearing where Mr. Thicknose would always stand when he taught his wisdom to the children who would take a seat on the rocks or treetrunks though some just made themselves comfortable on the ground which was painted with soft, green grass with the occasional flower dotting the green. On the edge of the clearing, bushes and ferns were forming an almost unpassable wall. However, it wasn't surrounding the place completely...
Located not too far away from where the Longnecks were residing, Littlefoot was the first to arrive at the meeting place despite not hurrying to get there quick at all. Slipping through a hole in a bush (that Spike had devoured some weeks prior), he walked to the rock he would usually rest on and, sighing, made himself comfortable, hanging about lazily.
Cera was the next to arrive, making her arrival known to everybody in the vicinity. With a loud roar, she sprinted towards one of the big ferns whose stem was a few centimetres in diametre, ramming into it with her horned frill and cutting it down easily.
"Breakfast, Littlefoot?" Cera called over to her longnecked friend, looking quite pleased with herself.
Littlefoot took a deep yawn before responding. "Meh, I'm still too tired for food... but thanks for the offer, Cera."
"Well, more for me then," Cera spoke before pulling the fern to her personal rock and tucking into the food.
"You wouldn't have let me eat the fern you downed anyway..." Littlefoot remarked, yawning yet again.
"How smart you are..." Cera teased with her mouth full.
The next to arrive was Mr. Thicknose, entering through the only bigger opening in the vegetation.
"Morning kids," he greeted them, slowly trotting towards his rock in the centre of the clearing.
"Good morning Mr. Thicknose..." Littlefoot and Cera replied in the same, monotonous and bored tone.
"Today is a beautiful day, isn't it?" the elderly Threehorn exclaimed happily, looking up to the sky, peeking through the few holes in the leavy crown of the surrounding forest. Not a single cloud was visible.
"Oh yes... perfect," Cera answered unclearly since she was busy munching on the fern.
"Totally," Littlefoot replied, some sarcasm ringing in his voice.
"Hey, better than those endless days of Sky Water falling all day!" Cera retorted in annoyance.
"Of course," Mr. Thicknose chimed in. "Sky Water is just as important as the Bright Circle for our Valley to flourish. As I told you some time ago. Didn't I?"
"I remember..." Cera sighed.
"So do I..." Littlefoot agreed, yawning.
Thicknose gave the Longneck a stern look but didn't say more.
A few minutes went by with nothing happening, except that Cera finished her meal, also making herself comfortable on her rock, relaxing. Meanwhile, Thicknose began looking around, his mood slowly dropping. Where were the others?
Then, Ducky's voice could be heard in the distance.
"Spiky, stop eating! We are going to be late, yes we are!"
"Humpff! Spike is more interested in eating than in the lesson again!" Cera grunted in annoyance. "And I have to wait for them as always!"
"Like you're interested in the lesson, Cera..." Littlefoot hissed in her direction.
"Watch your mouth or I'll ram you against every tree here!" Cera hissed back in a threatening manner.
Littlefoot simply shook his head and put it back onto the rock, trying not to fall asleep.
"Hello Mr. Thicknose, hello Littlefoot, hello Cera..." Ducky piped up, crawling out of a fallen, hollow log. With a munching sound, a bush right next to her suddenly disappeared as Spike gobbled it up completely.
"Good morning, Ducky and Spike," Thicknose replied neutrally.
"I am very sorry for being late but..."
Suddenly, the distant laughter of Ruby and Chomper could be heard, rapidly advancing.
"... but Spike kept on stopping on the way for a snack, yes he did!" Ducky explained, glaring at her brother who simply smiled and giggled.
"This is not funny, Spike, no, no, no! We are too late again and now Mr. Thicknose is mad at us, yes he is..." Ducky scolded.
"First!" Ruby suddenly shouted, entering the clearing by breaking through the undergrowth.
"More like almost last..." Cera teased. "Even Spike came earlier than you..."
"Children please!" Mr. Thicknose exclaimed. "Is it really that difficult to be on time?! Now go to your places so we can begin!"
"See? Now he is mad at us, Spike!" Ducky hissed at Spike who just shrugged. Angrily, Ducky jumped off the Spiketail's back, walking to her usual spot in the grass herself, Spike following in a trot.
Meanwhile, Chomper, too, entered the scene. "Damn, you beat me again, Ruby..." he panted. "Could we play the game the other way around so that the slowest wins for a change?"
"Well, in that case, the one with more patience not to move would win and that's also me," Ruby teased.
"Not true!" Chomper retorted.
"Admit it, Chomper, your patience really is very short," Cera exclaimed matter of factly.
"And that's coming from you?" Littlefoot chimed in.
"Watch your..."
"Quiet!" Thicknose demanded. "You go to your spot as well, Chomper! I won't ask for the reason of you two being late..."
"We are very sorry, very sorry we are," Ruby spoke up. "Chomper needed some breakfast first,
breakfast he needed..."
"I can't concentrate with an empty belly..." Chomper replied shyly. As if on command, his stomach growled angrily. "Well, it's still too empty... unlike you guys, I have to work to get my food and my food isn't nearly as plentiful as yours, you know?"
"Well, there is enough food for you in the Great Valley, Chomper..." Ducky spoke up hesitantly. "But you may not have it, nope, nope, nope!"
"He's perfectly aware of that, you know?" Cera grunted.
"Of course, I do, I do..." Ducky answered conciliatorily.
"Now sit down everybody and listen!" Mr. Thicknose yelled. "You're almost as annoying as Petrie's siblings lately!"
"Speaking of Petrie... where's that freak???" Cera wondered, stomping her foot.
"Cera, he is not a freak but a friend!" Ducky retorted.
"Oh yeah? Let me know when you're celebrating your mating then!"
Chomper began laughing at that while Ruby and Littlefoot shook their heads and Spike looked at Cera angrily.
"That was not nice, Cera, no, no, no!" Ducky shouted.
"Guys, calm down..." Littlefoot sighed. "The longer you banter, the longer we'll be stuck here..."
"Thank you, Littlefoot, albeit I do not like your wording..." Thicknose sighed. "Well, I cannot afford to wait any longer. We'll begin without Petrie, assuming that'll be in everyone's favor?"
The Gang all nodded solemnly.
"So... what will our lesson today be about?" Chomper questioned curiously.
"Well, today I would like to tell you about the effects food can have on your body if it is not good anymore." Mr. Thicknose explained to the gang.
"What do you mean!?" Cera wondered.
"Dried leaves?" Littlefoot suggested half-heartedly.
"Foul Tree Sweets?" Ducky submitted.
"Overripe berries perhaps?" Ruby asked.
"Yes, these are good examples," Thicknose replied, his mood slightly improving again. "At least they're listening and answering other than these crazy flyers..."
"Uhm, Mr. Thicknose?" Chomper piped up hesitantly.
"Yes, Chomper?"
"What about... rotten meat?"
"Chomper!" Cera shouted.
"Yuck, yuck, yuck!" Ducky complained in disgust.
Littlefoot sighed while Spike looked like he was terribly sick, his eyes rolling.
"Chomper, that was uncalled for..." Ruby whispered into his ear.
"Uhh, sorry..." the little Sharptooth apologised innocently.
"I am afraid my knowledge of your diet is not sufficient to answer your question to your full satisfaction," Mr. Thicknose replied. "However, I wouldn't be surprised if rotten meat had a negative effect on you if you ate it."
"Err... thanks, Mr. Thicknose..." Chomper replied.
"Right, where was I again?" the old Threehorn wondered – Chomper's questions had disrupted his concept.
"You were about to tell us about the effects of bad food, about the effects of bad food you were going to talk," Ruby explained in her unique way of talking.
"Yep, yep, yep!" Ducky agreed.
"You know, Ruby, I can hear just fine," Mr. Thicknose said in amusement. "You do not need to repeat everything you say." Nodding approvingly, he added. "Thank you for the reminder though."
"You're welcome, welcome you are," Ruby replied, chuckling.
"Ahem, so you've already named a few sources of bad food," Thicknose went on. "Do you know what negative effects these could have on your body?"
"Dried leaves simply taste horrible!" Cera grunted.
"Oh yes they do!" Ducky agreed. "They are so dry that they will stick to the inside of your mouth, yes they will!"
"They also may get stuck in your neck," Ruby added.
"They'll make you spit them out again!" Chomper explained.
"You'd spit out ANY green food, Chomper..." Littlefoot remarked. "I couldn't make you change your diet when you were a baby, unfortunately..."
"All of your answers were more or less correct," Thicknose told the group. "The main issue of dry leaves of course is the lack of water in them. They will make you thirsty. What is really problematic is that you'd usually find dry leaves in times where water is scarce as well."
"So... they'll make us even more thirsty than we already are?" Ruby asked, finishing her teacher's thought.
"Indeed Ruby," Thicknose replied, smiling at the Fastrunner. "Of course, it is also dangerous to eat them. As our Ruby here has pointed out, they may get stuck in your throat. This may or may not disrupt your breathing. However, if it does, you may not live to tell the tale if there isn't water nearby to wash it out of your throat quickly!"
"Isn't there another possibility, Mr. Thicknose?" Ruby inquired.
"Yeah... what if there isn't any bloody water nearby?" Cera demanded.
"Well uhm... there is something you can do but I am not sure if you'll like that method..." Thicknose answered hesitantly.
"What would that be, huh?" Ducky asked curiously.
"You see, children... if you can't wash it out from the outside, you'll need to wash it out from the inside..." Thicknose responded hesitantly again. The reaction of the Gang came immediately.
"Wait a second... so you need to make them puke???" Cera concluded, shocked.
"There goes my appetite..." Littlefoot sighed.
"Yuck, yuck, yuck!" Ducky stated in disgust.
"I'd prefer the term "throwing up"," Thicknose amended Cera's answer. "Nonetheless, your conclusion is correct, Cera."
"How would you do that?" Ruby wondered.
"Well, there are a few methods..." Thicknose explained thoughtfully. "If you're a two-footer, it's easier... reason being that you can cause yourself to throw-up."
"But... how?" Ducky and Ruby asked simultaneously.
"You see, did you ever wonder what that red thing back in your throat, that looks like a drop of water, does? If it is being touched, you will start to choke. If you keep touching it, you will ultimately end up emptying what you got in your stomach... and pushing out what is stuck in your throat."
"Neat..." Cera murmured.
"And what about four-footers like Spiky?" Ducky wondered. "They do not have any arms they can stick into their mouths, no, no, no..."
"Glad you ask, Ducky," Thicknose responded approvingly. "Of course, if a two footer is nearby, they could do just that. However, there is another way to make somebody throw-up although it is not as reliable as the option we discussed previously."
"How can this get any worse???" Cera hissed in Littlefoot's direction.
"Don't say it too loud or it will..." the Longneck warned, sighing.
"If you give somebody a hard and painful push or kick into the belly, you may end up making them throw-up if your hit was accurate."
"Ugh, I'm sick! Can we talk about something else?!" Cera requested, turning somewhat pale.
"Of course, Cera, of course," Thicknose replied.
"Much appreciated..."
"There is another aspect I would like to mention shortly," the elderly Threehorn continued. "Please remember, that leaves not only lose their taste when they get dry. They will also lose some value for our bodies and won't provide nearly as much food as the same amount of green leaves."
"So that means you will have to eat more of them, more of them you will have to eat?" Ruby concluded.
"You got that right, Ruby," Thicknose nodded.
"At least now we fiiiiiiinally know how to prevent Spike from turning fat..." Cera mused. "Just let him eat all the bad food, it'll make him full too."
"Spike's hunger is never ever satisfied, oh no, no, no," Ducky chuckled.
"Uh-huh," Spike nodded, chuckling. Being reminded of eating, he spontaneously targetted a field of flowers that were yellow in the middle with white, feather-like blossoms and took a bite out of it.
"SPIKY!!!" Ducky suddenly screamed. "How many times do I need to tell you that flowers are not to be eated-ed???"
Spike, the mixture of grass and flowers still in his mouth, realised his mistake, looking scared of the small girl, clenching her fists.
"Flowers are to be admired-ed and not to be eated-ed, no, no, no..." the Swimmer spoke a little bit calmer.
"Just like boys, huh?" Ruby suddenly piped up. Cera knew the saying as well and they performed it together. "Don't touch, just gawk awkwardly," causing them to start giggling.
"Uhm, do you think that's true for my sort of food too?" Chomper adressed their teacher, trying to ignore the girls' banter.
"As I already told you, my knowledge about your kind is very limited, Chomper," Thicknose replied apologetically. "I am sorry but I cannot answer that question."
"No problem..." Chomper caught a threatening glare of Cera.
"Right," Mr. Thicknose said, taking a deep breath. "Let us move on to the next problematic source of food. Foul Tree Sweets. Has anybody ever had the pleasure to deal with the aftereffect of eating Tree Sweets which were not good anymore?"
Everyone looked around to see if anybody wanted to share their experiences. Of course, they all had had the displeasure to feel the consequences of bad fruits already but nobody felt like sharing these details.
Unexpectedly, a figure came down, descending from the sky, eventually landing on one of the smaller rocks in the circle... Petrie's rock.
"Uh, me been eating funny food many times. It not funny story though..." Petrie spoke up hesitantly.
"Oh Petrie, I was worried where you had been!" Ducky exclaimed, happy to see her friend.
"Where have you been!?" Cera growled as unfriendly as ever.
"I am curious what caused your delayed arrival as well..." Mr. Thicknose agreed, looking at the little Flyer sternly though he didn't express any anger at this point.
"Err... me can explain..." Petrie promised awkwardly. He'd already made up a story to cover up his true reason for being late... "Me was on way to here when brothers and sisters blocked way and tied Petrie to a tree. Me had to wait until mommy make ties loose again so me could come here."
"Likely story, Petrie, likely story..." Cera teased, entertained. "Who is going to believe THAT???"
"Well, I do!" Ducky retorted angrily. "Actually, I am pretty sure that he is not saying the truth though..." Ducky felt that something was foul here. She had caught Petrie lying but still defended him. "I think I know why he is late..."
"It true!" Petrie argued.
"He is not looking good today, nope, nope, nope," the Swimmer observed. "He must be really upset about something and I will find out, yes I will!"
"Well, knowing his siblings, it's actually quite possible that he's telling the truth..." Littlefoot mused.
"Yeah, sounds like something those little pranksters would do," Chomper agreed. "Funny idea though." The Sharptooth laughed for a short moment.
"Well, although I do have the impression that you are not telling the full truth, I will not question this further," Mr. Thicknose announced somewhat sourly. "Take your place and listen to today's lesson which is about the effects of bad food on you. Your friends may tell you about what you missed after the lesson."
"Okay, me sorry, it not my fault." Petrie replied, making himself comfortable on his rock, looking somewhat sad.
"I still don't take that story..." Cera hissed in his direction.
"Right... where was I?" Thicknose pondered.
While the old Threehorn was busy recollecting his thoughts, Ducky quickly moved over to Petrie. "You were lying, were you not, Petrie?" Ducky stated matter-of-factly.
The Flyer turned to the Swimmer girl, his head hanging low. "Yes, but why you say you believe Petrie?"
"Oh Petrie, you look very upset, yes you do... what is wrong? Did your siblings say mean things to you again, huh?" Ducky enquired. "Or is it what we were talking about some time ago?" she added, whispering.
Petrie simply nodded.
Ducky wanted to say something in response but Mr. Thicknose had apparently recollected his mind and was just about to continue so the Swimmer quickly lollopped back to her seat, giving her friend an apologetic look.
"So anyway, Petrie," the old Threehorn continued. "You were stating that you have already been in the unfortunate situation to have eaten foul Tree Sweets. How did it affect you?"
"Me think that too disgusting..." the Flyer spoke hesitantly.
"Looks like it CAN get worse after all..." Littlefoot mumbled.
"Yeah..." Cera replied in suppressed anger.
"That is correct, the reaction it causes is usually not very harmful – at least I've never heard of a case where eating too many foul Tree Sweets actually killed a dinosaur. However, it can be very unpleasant for the dinosaur who gets sick from them," the old Threehorn expounded. "Usually, it all starts with a stomach-ache. Sometimes, you will get sick, sometimes you will not. After a few hours, the pain will move to another part of your stomach amd you will start to feel inflated."
"Yes, yes... and then we all go to the relieving spot for a whole day... thanks for ruining my appetite!" Cera ranted.
"I beg your pardon," Thicknose replied. "I do not like getting interrupted, you know?"
"Sooooorry..." Cera replied in a placatory manner. "You still make me sick with all these details though!"
Thicknose chuckled. "Not as tough in that field, are you, Cera?"
"Hey!" Cera shouted.
The rest of the Gang's reactions came immediately. Chomper roared with laughter, Ducky held her stomach laughing, Spike and Ruby were chuckling as well and even grumpy, sleep deprived Littlefoot couldn't help but grin at Cera.
Only Petrie didn't laugh at all... as Ducky noticed as soon as she had caught her breath again.
"Hmm, usually he is always laughing when Cera embarrasses herself, yes he is..."
"Anyway," Thicknose continued, speaking a little louder as a signal to the gang that he wanted to continue the lesson. "Cera, you were mostly correct in your statements. Ultimately, you will end up spending a lot of time painfully getting rid of the bad food to put it mildly. Not as dangerous as the dried leaves but certainly you'll be better off avoiding this at all costs..."
"Oh yeah..." Cera agreed in her usual sarcastic manner.
"Right, that leads us to our final source of food-related trouble," Thicknose went on.
"Can't get worse now?" Cera hissed in Littlefoot's direction.
"Who knows?" Littlefoot shrugged. "Maybe the next thing will be something you even like? You certainly like berries so why not like them a bit overripe as well?"
"Berries?!" Cera hissed back in confusion.
"Oh do you ever listen to what he's saying???" Littlefoot facepalmed. "We were collecting things you shouldn't eat, remember? I entered the leaves, Ducky the Tree Sweets and Ruby the..."
"Yes, yes, okay you won, smartass..." Cera resigned, saying that part aloud in her frustration which earned her a stern look from their lecturer.
"I'm sure you all have already eaten overripe berries by accident before, haven't you?" the old Threehorn wondered.
Everybody nodded, except Chomper of course.
"And I bet you all will agree that it tastes somewhat... funny," Thicknose further interrogated.
"Oh yes, yes, yes..." Ducky agreed. "It tastes very funny... sweet but... funny."
"Very funny, Ducky," Chomper remarked. "And I still don't know how it tastes..."
"Then you need to try it, trying you need to do," Ruby suggested half heartedly.
"Whatever these things do to you guys they'll do worse things with me..."
"Possibly yes..." Thicknose chimed in. "Anyway, here's what I am presuming to be the cause for the funny taste. Through extended studies I did a few years ago, I came to the conclusion that the ingredient of the berries which make them so wonderfully sweet in taste once they get ripe is, in the event that they are not devoured, slowly changing into another ingredient causing the not so sweet taste. Consequently, as I was testing by eating berries in different stadiums of overripeness, the longer they've surpassed their time of ripeness, the stronger the not so sweet taste got."
"Did you eat them on purpose, did you?" Ducky wondered in amazement.
"Considering that these are probably not healthy - because otherwise we wouldn't be talking about them in a lesson about bad food, I consider that to be highly risky..." Ruby spoke.
"So does it not have any bad effects on us if we eat overripe berries?" the Swimmer queried.
"Good thinking, girls," Thicknose praised. "Indeed, it can be harmful to eat too many of them. Eating small amounts is not as harmful as eating small amounts of bad Tree Sweets, however, eating many of them will cause similar unpleasant troubles although it usually does not involve pain unlike when you're eating Tree Sweets..."
"Lovely..." Cera rolled her eyes.
"Doesn't sound too bad..." Littlefoot spoke up. "Is that all they do to us?"
Thicknose laughed. "Oh no, there is something else they do to you which is, by far, the most important and valueful information I would like to pass on to you today."
"Oh what is it?" Ducky wondered excitedly.
"I wanna know too!" Chomper agreed, Ruby nodding eagerly as well.
"Well, I think this is a perfect opportunity to tell you children a story about my very personal first experiences with overripe berries and their effects on me," Thicknose announced, smiling.
"Oh, that sounds... great," Littlefoot exclaimed hesitantly.
"That's an understatement..." Cera fawned.
"Oh a story? I like stories, yes I do!" Ducky exclaimed happily, clapping her hands in excitement.
"Well, and I llllllllllove stories!" Chomper replied exaggeratingly.
"I'm sure that'll be valueful, valueful it will be," Ruby mentioned with mild excitement.
"Well, it's supposed to," Mr. Thicknose laughed. "I'll go ahead then, if you children are listening."
Ducky cast another glance at Petrie. The Flyer seemed to be paying attention to the lesson yet he was somewhat indifferent, distant and thoughtful.
"First of all..." the old Threehorn began. "I need to make clear that, at the time, I did not know anything about the effects you're about to learn. Well... how to put it? I learned it the hard way. I am sincerely hoping you will be spared that experience through the wisdom I pass on to you..."
Thicknose took a deep breath, cleared his throat and then began with the actual story...
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...which you will be hear until like... next weekend... maybe? :p Sincere apologies for that cliffhanger ^^spike
After the first chapter got a lot of feedback, I have high expectations now :smile Keep those reviews coming, guys. I appreciate the great support, it keeps me from wasting my time doing unproductive things :exactly
What will the next chapter be about?
No hard guess!
Don't be afraid to say it aloud,
It'll be an excess!
Don't ask... it's 4am here ....
EDIT: Made some minor edits to chapter 1 that people were suggesting in their reviews :)
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Cliff hanger is not as bad as I expected.
A very good chapter though, your using a very good writing style here. You've done a good job at showing what the gang are like now. Very funny lesson with Thicknose, you caught the kids reactions perfectly. So only Ducky knew of Petrie's problem and everyone knows of Ducky's love interests. Thicknose seems more irate dealing with teens. Cera as even more boastful. I wonder if that will lead to any problems. Littlefoot is certainly not devoid of wit even though he is tired.
You've certainly set the scene for the next chapter. Good Luck hope to read more soon.
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I liked this chapter. You portrayed the gang pretty well, and open up some interesting possibilities what might or might not come in the story.
I got a feeling though that someone's going to get kicked in the belly at some point and that someone will be utterly wasted later on. :D
The way you finished it off with a little poem was nice as well.
The cliffhanger...isn't that bad, but I still wanna read more. :D
Also, I think you should change this from the beginning of the chapter:
"get there quick at all (quickly)"
Well then...I'm curious about the next chapter. As I put it in the skype chat:
I am sincerely hoping you will be spared that experience through the wisdom I pass on to you..." hooo boy. xD
:D
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"I need to make clear that, at the time, I did not know anything about the effects you're about to learn. Well... how to put it? I learned it the hard way. I am sincerely hoping you will be spared that experience through the wisdom I pass on to you..."
Who knew that Mr. Thicknose had some wild nights in the past. :DD I am certainly looking forward to hearing what he experienced during that time. As for the rest of the characters, I think that you have captured them quite well. Littlefoot is tired, yet has kept his wits about him. Ducky is trying to be compassionate even though she suspects something is up with Petrie. And Cera is certainly still Cera. Ruby seems to have developed into a class pet of sorts, though she might have a deeper appreciation of Mr. Thicknose's lessons due to her own life in the Mysterious Beyond. I wonder how many of her questions are out of curiosity, and how many are to prepare herself for when she might have to leave the valley. She is an omnivore, after all...
Finally I really feel bad for Chomper here. He seems to be struggling with his food situation, but as of yet he has not been able to have a heart-to-heart conversation with his friends on the subject, as they react in disgust when he mentions some valid questions and options. I can only hope he can do so before nature forces his hand. :yes
A good chapter, as always. :) I look forward to the resolution of the cliffhanger.
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Cliff hanger is not as bad as I expected.
A very good chapter though, your using a very good writing style here. You've done a good job at showing what the gang are like now. Very funny lesson with Thicknose, you caught the kids reactions perfectly. So only Ducky knew of Petrie's problem and everyone knows of Ducky's love interests. Thicknose seems more irate dealing with teens. Cera as even more boastful. I wonder if that will lead to any problems. Littlefoot is certainly not devoid of wit even though he is tired.
You've certainly set the scene for the next chapter. Good Luck hope to read more soon.
Thanks for the review! :lol
Yeah, I've tortured you guys with worse cliffhangers already, that's true ^^
Good writing style, huh? Aside from the one time I used some description, it's just all dialogue :sducky ^^spike
Glad you can see the changes. Some things will never change but others will and do!
True, the lesson certainly had a few silly moments :DD
Not exactly... Ducky is the only one Petrie has told ;) Also, not everyone knows about Ducky's love interest (not sure if you could call it a love interest at all... I'll need some introspective scenes at some point to make that clear :exactly ). It was more of a silly immature joke Cera and Ruby pulled on her :smile
More irate you say? Well, maybe it just requires harder means to keep them under control? :angel
Oh Cera is always boastful, how can she be even more boastful than she already is? ^^spike
Littlefoot can be quite witty if he wants too, yep, yep, yep ^^
Thanks again, hope I won't disappoint you :)
I liked this chapter. You portrayed the gang pretty well, and open up some interesting possibilities what might or might not come in the story.
I got a feeling though that someone's going to get kicked in the belly at some point and that someone will be utterly wasted later on. biggrin.gif
The way you finished it off with a little poem was nice as well.
The cliffhanger...isn't that bad, but I still wanna read more. biggrin.gif
Also, I think you should change this from the beginning of the chapter:
"get there quick at all (quickly)"
Well then...I'm curious about the next chapter. As I put it in the skype chat:
QUOTE
I am sincerely hoping you will be spared that experience through the wisdom I pass on to you..." hooo boy. xD
biggrin.gif
Thanks for the review (even though you basically told me most of this on skype already ^^)
Happy that you liked it! Oh what possibilities? Now I'm curious what you suspect to happen :DD
LOL, I was just wondering if I can make it rhyme somehow and, miraculously, it did :p Wasn't planned at all...
Yeah, not one that makes me be afraid of my own readers but one that wants you guys to keep reading :D
Thanks for the correction, I'm not perfect :exactly
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Awesome story!
How much older would the gang be in this story than the movies?
Damn cliffhangers lol.
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:lol
I'm excited to hear about Mr. Thicknose's wild party days!
This should be interesting :p
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Awesome story!
How much older would the gang be in this story than the movies?
Damn cliffhangers lol.
Thanks! :D Depends on how old you think they are in the movies... I think they'd be something like 10-11 in the later sequels... and in my story I think of them as 12-13 year olds so just on the edge of childhood about to turn into teenagehood (does that word even exist? :lol )
dino_laugh.gif
I'm excited to hear about Mr. Thicknose's wild party days!
This should be interesting dino_tongue.gif
My thoughts exactly ^^spike
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I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter of this story.
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Thanks, the next chapter should be ready within the next few days :yes
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What happened to this? (I do understand though if you don't have time and are busy)
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I do understand though if you don't have time and are busy)
That happened :p Don't worry, I've almost finished the next chapter ^^spike
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Uhh, sorry for the long wait guys :sducky
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Chapter 3: Memories of the past:[/u]
"A story?" Littlefoot was a bit surprised about this. All he expected this lesson to be was boring and tiring but this was something else. Thicknose rarely ever told stories from his own life. He anticipated that getting up this early might have been rewarding this time...
Thicknose was hanging around on his own, minding his own business like always. People thought of him as a weirdo – somebody to be avoided. They thought he was crazy because he always said, did and thought unusual things. Usually, that only earned him rejection and bullying from his peers but, in this special case, they actually had an application for him.
"Hey you!" A group of four sturdy threehorns approached Thicknose from behind. Rambo, the one to call out for Thicknose, was their leader. Thicknose feared him more than anything else because he would constantly taunt, bully or even hurt him for no apparent reason. Rambo wasn't actually his name but everybody referred to him as that. Thicknose prepared for the worst.
"Yo Thicknose, whazzup dude?" Scotty, the best-looking and most popular threehorn among the females, spoke up with a crooked grin.
The other two threehorns following Rambo were Ray and Tower. Ray was always hyper-energetic and annoying but he was also very cunning, smart and submissive which was probably the only reason Rambo tolerated him. Tower was a threehorn of few words. His name, too, was rather a nickname than his actual name but he was referred to as "Tower" due to his impressive size and his tall frill, the power of which Thicknose got to experience more than once in his life.
Rambo stepped forward, the other three backing him up – Ray and Scotty looking down on Thicknose who was small and weakly built arrogantly while Tower gave him a grim stare.
"I have an offer to make, Thicknose," Rambo announced. "As you probably know, the Sweet Bubble Day is approaching and I'm sick of the grown-ups excluding us from the festivities. There's something you could do for me, Thicknose. If you succeed to do what I'm asking you to do – yes, I'm asking you, not ordering, then I will cease to think of you as a useless failure and stop bothering you. That will also be the case for my gang."
"You'll love the job, dude!" Scotty sneered.
Thicknose was very surprised about this hence he ended up gawking at Rambo awkwardly.
"You understood what I said, dumbass?" Rambo asked in a low, threatening tone.
"Y-yeah, sure," Thicknose replied uneasily. "I am waiting to hear what you would like me to do..."
"Basically, I'm asking you to find a way to make overripe berries more potent. We were able to save some before the grown-ups had collected all berries in the Valley but they are not enough to have a sufficient effect on us." Rambo explained. "You do a lot of crazy stuff so surely you could make this work?"
Thicknose considered hard. He knew that overripe berries had a certain effect on dinosaurs (and he knew for certain that he hated the taste of them!) but he didn't know what exactly it actually did. So how would he know how to make them more potent? The offer Rambo made was promising though.
"Well, I can try my best," Thicknose answered eventually. "There is no guarantee that I find out how to improve the berries but I will do all I can to complete the task I am given."
"Oh fantastic!" Ray shouted. "I can't waaaa-ait!"
"Idiot, he has to find something first," Scotty scolded.
"Very well..." Rambo spoke slowly. "I'll show you the place where we hide the berries. One of us will always be nearby to ensure you're not up to something. I expect you to succeed so you better don't dissappoint me, Thicknose! Come along!"
Thicknose was scared but he knew it would be a chance to prove his abilities and to get out of the constant attacks of Rambo's gang. At first his legs were hesitant to move. However...
"Move..." A soft push from Tower made Thicknose walk as fast as he could.
For the rest of the day, Thicknose spent in a cave at the outskirts of the Valley where the Threehorns had stored the berries they managed to gather. Under the watchful eyes of Tower, Thicknose puzzled what he could do with these berries all day but there was no solution. There wasn't any plant that he knew that had a desireable effect on them. But he'd be damned if he didn't find a solution!
Only when the Bright Circle was replaced by the Night Circle, Thicknose decided to call it a day. Maybe he would find answers in his sleep...
"Uh, Mr. Thicknose?" Ruby piped up hesitantly. "I'm wondering if what you are supposed to do in the story is what you are trying to teach us?"
Thicknose gave an amused chuckle.
"Oh no, Ruby. My intention is absolutely not to teach you how to make berries even more fermented," Thicknose answered truthfully. "Although... I reckon I may be giving you children ideas anyway..."
Littlefoot and Cera exchanged a suggestive glance.
"Well, the intention of the story is what is going to happen with me later in the story so sit down and let me continue..." With a smile, Thicknose picked up the story again...
The next morning, Thicknose wasn't any wiser. The fact that he didn't find a solution made him very uneasy and frustrated. He knew the other Threehorns would beat the crap out of him if he didn't do what they expected him to. Resignated, he decided to ask around for advice, his self-esteem lowering considerably.
Of course he couldn't ask any of the residents of the Valley since that would just give away their plan but the Great Valley was typically populated by a lot of migrating dinosaurs whose population not seldomly exceeded the population of the residing dinosaurs. Hence, Thicknose went to the popular places of the Valley to ask strangers for advice. It took him a lot of willpower to battle his extreme shyness but he succeeded though his still felt very awkward around the strangers, many of whom were either shrugging him off, chasing him away or just laughing about his words. The longer the day, the more frustrated the Threehorn became.
He was still walking around looking for more migrating dinosaurs when it was about to turn dark. He was tired, demotivated and just outright dissappointed of himself when suddenly a female voice adressed him.
"Seeking answers, are we?" It was a rainbowface, appearing out of nowhere to his right. "I know how simple-minded these dinosaurs can be. They only care for themselves and don't even bother about a curious, young Threehorn like you."
"That's right," Another rainbowface, a male, emerged from behind a rock to Thicknose's right. "Do not worry, we will help you to find a solution to your problem," he spoke in a friendly voice.
The female stared at the male.
"Oh are we?!" she hissed.
"Yes, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to help him out," he whispered quietly.
"We're already influencing this world too much as it is!" the female retorted fiercely.
"Oh like that would make a huge difference!" the male argued.
The argument went on for another few moments. Thicknose watched them curiously though their voices were so low that it almost seemed like they were talking in a language he couldn't understand. Finally, they turned to him again.
"Well, I guess we can help you out after all, " the female eventually adressed him. "Don't mind our little argument.
"You can?" Thicknose had to reassure himself. After a full day of being shrugged off, ignored and chased away, his hope to find the answers he was looking for were pretty much non-existant at this point.
The rainbowfaces nodded, the male eagerly, the female in a slightly annoyed manner.
"That's great!" Thicknose exclaimed excitedly. "You're preventing this day from turning to my worst day ever!" He was just about to ask them how exactly they could help him when his alarm clock rang.
"Hang on... how can you claim to be able to help me without even knowing what my actual problem is? Did you spy on me?"
"Yes and no," the female Rainbowface spoke neutrally. "It's true that we've been following you for quite a while now but it was not our intention to spy on you."
"Yes, we were more curious if somebody helps you or not," the male added, giving Thicknose a friendly smile.
"Of course they didn't..." the female sighed. "Oh well, they'll always care for themselves only. It'll never change..."
"Yes, but that is not important right now," the male reminded his partner. "We agreed to help this young fellow so let us get to the point, shall we?"
"Yes, yes... of course," the female grunted. "By the way, if you're wondering how we can claim to be able to help you without knowing the problem... you must know that not the wisdom itself matters but the way you are seeking to gain it."
"In other words..." the male chimed in. "Even if it turns out that we don't have the answers that you're looking for, we can help you to find a way to find a solution for your problem. Searching for answers can be a lot of fun, you know?"
"Yes, I know what you are talking about," Thicknose voiced up formally.
"Well, we managed to pick up some things but could you explain to us again what your problem is and what you know already about the problem in question?" the female requested.
"Of course," Thicknose replied and began explaining his situation to the two Rainbowfaces. He told them about the Threehorns always bulling him, about their quest and the consequences if he failed.
"Oh such a mean gang of rogues..." the male answered.
"Fermented berries you say, huh`? How the heck did they get that idea?" the female inquired. The fact that he knew about the very concept of fermented berries seemed to shock her.
"Well... there is going to be a festival to celebrate the Warm Season..." Thicknose responded shyly.
"The first ripening of berries traditionally marks the beginning of the season and the celebration is typically held 15 days later to give them enough time to get overripe...I don't know what overripe berries do but the adults must find it very enjoyable..."
"What exactly are they doing during this festival?" the male Rainbowface asked.
"That is something I don't know because children may not participate..." Thicknose answered truthfully.
"And that's good!" the female shouted agitatedly. "I think I know what the grown-ups are doing during this festival and I'm not liking it..."
"Interesting... I didn't know that the very concept of this is known to their species..." the male mused though he quickly realised to talked too much. "Uhh.. nevermind."
"What kind of help are you looking for by the way? Isn't that what we're here for?" the female interrupted her partner to draw Thicknose's attention before he could ponder what a "species" was.
"Well, I need to find out a way to make the effect of the berries stronger because the Threehorns only have very few berries."
"How many?" she asked.
"Well, if I ate them, they would keep me fed for a day, maybe two..."
"Okay, I know a way to achieve what you are looking for but I must warn you not to participate at whatever these Threehorns are planning to do with the berries..." the female explained urgently.
"Why? Are fermented berries bad?" Thicknose wondered.
"Not exactly..." the female replied. "I won't tell you what exactly they do."
"Yes, but we warn you for a reason my friend," the male added wisely. "However, I can only recommend watching these Threehorns when they do. You won't regret it." The Rainbowface grinned mischievously.
"Okay, so what do I have to do?" Thicknose questioned eagerly.
"It's pretty simple since it works on its own once you've mixed the skin of a certain fruit into the pile of berries," the male explained.
"Okay, where can I find that fruit?" Thicknose inquired. His excitement was growing.
"Too far from here for a young Threehorn to go on a journey to find them," the female replied.
"Don't worry, let that be our business."
"In our herd there is a Flyer we can commission to bring you a pile of these fruits – they are tasty by the way," the male explained. "We once saved her from a sickness so she agreed to help us if we need something."
"We'll be at this very place around the same time of the day tomorrow to deliver the fruits," the female told.
"Worry not my friend, this is a promise," the male added, twinkling at Thicknose.
"Thank you, Rainbowfaces," Thicknose spoke submissively, bowing down in front of them. "I am clearly in your debt now..."
"Don't worry, we're happy to help," the female replied with a smile. "You owe us nothing."
"Much appreciated," Thicknose spoke. "I will be here tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, my friend," the male Rainbowface spoke.
"See you... and thanks once again!" Thicknose exclaimed before walking home.
"The next day," Thicknose narrated. "The next day I indeed received those fruits from the kind Rainbowfaces. They were orange in colour with an odd shape and a very thick, almost shell-like skin. If I showed you one of those – of course I don't have any with me right now, but just in theory, if I showed you any of those, you probably wouldn't recognise them because, as I said earlier, they are only growing in faraway places."
Littlefoot had listened with mild interest so far. When Thicknose spoke about the fruit, he suddenly remembered something from an adventure long ago...
"Uhm, Mr. Thicknose, may I ask where exactly these plants grow?"Littlefoot questioned curiously.
"Why do you want to know? Hopefully not to try this yourself?"Thicknose replied, observing the Longneck curiously.
"No, just out of curiosity," Littlefoot explained to the old Threehorn. "I believe I may have seen a fruit before that matches your description..."
"Well, I was told back then that they grow in a place called "The Land of Green Valleys"," Thicknose answered the question.
"Are you sure you aren't referring to "The Great Valley"???" Cera asked rudely.
"Yes I am, Cera. As a matter of fact, I've been hatched in this very Valley and the story I am telling you takes place at this very place." Thicknose chuckled to himself.
"Hmm, I have never heard of such a place..." Littlefoot admitted, puzzling.
"I haven't heard of this place either," Ruby spoke up. "So it must be very far away because all places I don't know of are..."
"Actually, it's not too far away from here..." Thicknose mentioned. "Remember that the Flyer was capable to fly to that place and back within a night and a day."
"Is this the only place where they grow?" Chomper asked.
"... or are there more places where the fruit is growing?" Littlefoot completed the question of the Sharptooth.
"As far as I am aware, chidren, they only grow in one place," Thicknose responded truthfully.
"Though of course my information may be outdated. If so, I would appreciate to know the place you are thinking about, Littlefoot."
Ducky puzzled which adventure of them Littlefoot could possibly be referring to.
"Gee, I wonder which adventure you are thinking about, Littlefoot, yep, yep, yep."
"The Valley of Mists." Littlefoot could see the expression of their teacher change rapidly.
"Oh dear, you have been to that place?" he spoke in shock. However, he also seemed to be annoyed at something.
"Mr. Thicknose? Could it be that the Valley of Mists had a different name before it got this name? I remember my friend Ali telling me, that it wasn't always so hostile there..." Littlefoot mentioned uncertainly.
"Oh, how could I forget?! Of course!" Thicknose shouted. "To answer your question, the Land of Mists is the place I am refering to."
"Then I've seen the fruit before!" Littlefoot exclaimed.
"And I hope you will not make use of that information," Thicknose warned. "The reason for this will become more clear if you allow me to continue the story."
"Of course!" the gang shouted in unison, only Petrie merely looking at Thicknose in a bored, distant manner.
"So I went to the place where the berries were stored and..."
~~~~~~~~~~~
... and not soon after Ducky was found severely injured by his readers for not telling the whole story :angel ^^spike
Well, I think there's enough things in this chapter for reviewers to mention so feel free to leave a review, yep, yep, yep!!! :yes
The next chapter will obviously continue where this one left off ;)
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Ah, this is so great! I'm loving the character development for Mr. Thicknose, it's so much fun to read. And the re-introduction of the rainbowfaces :lol Like your other fic, I am really enjoying this. Your writing style is great, and you add so much to the lore of the LBT world. Can't find any suggestions for this one, just can't wait to read more :D
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Ah, this is so great! I'm loving the character development for Mr. Thicknose, it's so much fun to read. And the re-introduction of the rainbowfaces dino_laugh.gif Like your other fic, I am really enjoying this. Your writing style is great, and you add so much to the lore of the LBT world. Can't find any suggestions for this one, just can't wait to read more biggrin.gif
Aww thank you :lol Thicknose is an interesting and underrated character in my opinion, just like Shorty ;) Glad you liked the way I portraited him. Was trying to keep his character from LBT 8 but obviously trying to develope the "teen" Thicknose ;)
Yeah, those rainbowfaces :p They weren't originally going to end up in this story but I thought they'd make a pretty decent addition (and it was easier than creating someone from scratch too :angel ) Besides, it explains where Thicknose got certain knowledge from ^^spike
Ah yes it's reviews like this one that keep me working on my stuff, thanks :smile
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Ah, this is so great! I'm loving the character development for Mr. Thicknose, it's so much fun to read. And the re-introduction of the rainbowfaces dino_laugh.gif Like your other fic, I am really enjoying this. Your writing style is great, and you add so much to the lore of the LBT world. Can't find any suggestions for this one, just can't wait to read more biggrin.gif
Aww thank you :lol Thicknose is an interesting and underrated character in my opinion, just like Shorty ;) Glad you liked the way I portraited him. Was trying to keep his character from LBT 8 but obviously trying to develope the "teen" Thicknose ;)
Yeah, those rainbowfaces :p They weren't originally going to end up in this story but I thought they'd make a pretty decent addition (and it was easier than creating someone from scratch too :angel ) Besides, it explains where Thicknose got certain knowledge from ^^spike
Ah yes it's reviews like this one that keep me working on my stuff, thanks :smile
Interesting... Mr. Thicknose being born into the valley of mists? Interesting indeed...
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So I finally had time to finish reading the whole story. Overall it was a great read and It I have to say it had a more mature feel to it. I also like how there was a back story too for Mr. Thicknose too.
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Thanks for the review :)
Yeah, LBT 8 left quite a few possibilities open for interpretation by fanfiction authors (without creating plotholes unlike LBT 10 with Bron) :p I'm happy that you like my take on that.
Hope I'll get around to finish another chapter soonish.