The Gang of Five
The forum will have some maintenance done in the next couple of months. We have also made a decision concerning AI art in the art section.


Please see this post for more details.

The Swimmer Trials

The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
I have decided to start posting my first fanfic. This my first so any feedback and constructed criticism you will be appreciated.

The story is like The Day of the Flyers except for Swimmers, the story goes that Ducky is chosen for a certain trial that no one has ever survived and what happens in the lead up and on the day of this big event.

The story is about friendship, despair, family and hope.
Wish me luck and hope you enjoy it and please feel free to post feedback on each chapter. With any luck I should be able to post 1-2 chapters each week.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




Littlefoot fan 1990

  • Member+
  • Petrie
  • *
    • Posts: 666
    • View Profile
    • http://vitaniandkovulover.deviantart.com/
You got me hooked just by the description of your story. I hope to read more soon.


LittlefootAndAliTogether

  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 1415
    • View Profile
Hope Ducky lives.   :unsure:  If she doesn't, I'd like to know as I'm not fond of stories where one of the Gang of Seven dies as they make me cry a lot.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6778
    • View Profile
An interesting premise.  I look forward to seeing how the story develops.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
The Swimmer Trials

Prologue: A peaceful day.

The bright circle blazed high in the late morning over The Great Valley.
In a clearing near the Secret Caverns seven young dinosaurs played. One was a brown Longneck by the name of Littlefoot and it was he who had possession of the pinecone at the start of there game of toss the seed.
Beside Littlefoot stood two over dinosaurs. Petrie, the small brown Flyer on his right and to his left stood a purple Sharptooth called Chomper, to many other leaf eaters the sight of Chomper so close to the children would be a cause for alarm but in the Great Valley this was considered normal for the small Sharptooth to hang around with his small group of friends.
Facing the three boy's was the girls team led by Cera the proud orange Threehorn and beside her stood the small light green Swimmer Ducky and the tall pink Fast Runner, Ruby.
Nearby the six friends stood a plumb green Spiketail called Spike who was Ducky's adopted brother and at the moment he could not be less interested in the game his friends were playing, he was focused on biting the leaves off the large bushes that stood on the edge of the clearing. All the dinosaurs in this clearing are known as The Gang of Seven.
Each of them where firm friends and they had all been on many dangerous adventures in the past from finding the Great Valley to outmanoeuvring Red Claw in the lands outside the valley known as The Mysterious Beyond.

"Alright are we all ready?" asked littlefoot to the gang who all nodded in anticipation for the kick off. Littlefoot raised his tail but stopped and looked around at his friends until he spotted Spike on the edge of the clearing. "Hey Ducky isn't Spike playing today?" he asked.
Ducky turned to look at Spike before responding "No no no he is eating now" said Ducky "He won't play till he finishes his breakfast yep yep yep".
"Well lets gets started then" said Cera impatiently "Spike will join us when he is ready"
Littlefoot nodded and raised his tail.
"WHACK"
The seed flew off indirection of the boy's goal and each team started running to get the seed before the other team scored.
The game was on.

At the edge of the clearing a lone adult Swimmer was watching the game intently. Her eyes on her young daughter Ducky.
Sura smiled as she watched the friends playing it reminded her of what being young was like. Of course she was reminded all the time by the rest of her children but watching The Gang really brought back memories.

Sura sighed and pushed aside her past to focus on the present, she had been  really restless in the past few day's ever since she realised that her children would participate in The Swimmer Trials in a few more seasons. "The Swimmer Trials are very similar in contrast to The Great Day of The Flyers" Sura reflected as it required the younglings to prove their abilities in a range of different challenges designed to test each of the abilities a Swimmer must know in order to survive. But the Trials were also a contest as all the Swimmers participating will be ranked according to there abilities and upon completion word of the Trials are taken to other Swimmer herds in The Mysterious Beyond. Swimmers who performed well usually ended up in good herds or in leadership positions. The Trials are always taken before the younglings reach The Time of Great Growing and Sura's oldest children were all ready to face the Trials.  

Sura had the brightest hope for all of her children to do well in The Swimmer Trials "Except Spike of course". Sura turned to look at her adopted son who was happily munching away on some green food. Sura knew that the time would come for Spike to leave and learn the way's of his own kind soon and she dreaded that day. She remembered all to well what had happened the first time Spike left with a migrating Spiketail herd during the first cold time that the Valley had seen snow. Spike having to leave was especially hard on Ducky who had followed him into The Mysterious Beyond alone. In the corner of Sura's mind she hoped that Ducky would be more understanding the next time this inevitable event occurred. But for now she just concentrated on how happy everyone was today, then a dark thought entered her mind which caused her to feel a cold shiver run up her spine "What if one of my babies is chosen"
Sura took a deep breath to calm herself. That thought had terrified her for the last few day's but her mind quickly pushed those dark thoughts away.

Sura resolved that she would not think of that today it was a pleasant day so she might as well enjoy it like her happy go-lucky daughter was just a few metres away, Sura smiled again as she watched the friends play it was a very pleasant day.    
                 


Well first chapter done and I hope you enjoyed it.
Any feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?





Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
Good first chapter :) The swimmer trials sound to me like the Day of Flyers though harder and more dangerous. Sounds like an interesting story after all, yep, yep, yep! I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter(s)  :yes
Inactive, probably forever.


rhombus

  • Administrator
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6778
    • View Profile
This sounds like quite a challenge indeed.  I look forward to seeing what happens next.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Chapter 2: An Informative Night

"Cera pass to me. I am open, open I am" called Ruby from down the field.
However Cera disregarded Ruby, she thought she could outmanoeuvre Littlefoot on her own but she turned out to be dreadfully wrong.
Littlefoot stuck out his left foot just as Cera tried to run past him and not only did he manage to get the seed, he also managed to trip Cera.
"Great" he thought "we will win now with Cera down".
Littlefoot steadily approached the boys gaol which nothing more then two sticks placed a short distance from each other. Both Ducky and Ruby stood in front of in order to stop littlefoot from scoring but they had forgotten Chomper and Petrie who stood on each end of the goal.
"Right" thought Littlefoot "I'll pass the seed to Chomper and he will kick the goal".
"Over to you Chomper" called Littlefoot and proceeded to pass the seed.
But just as he raised his tail he felt a heavy weight slam into his side. Littlefoot fell to the ground feeling a little dazed but then he saw what hit him.
Spike was running unopposed with the seed in his mouth toward the girls goal
"Where Spike come from?" stuttered Petrie in surprise.
"He has joined the game he has he has" laughed Ducky as her brother scored the winning goal of the match for the girls team.

"Oh well good game guys" said Chomper "but next Spike we will wait until you finished eating before we start playing"
Spike chuckled before giving a nod that he would not try anymore sneak attacks in the game.

The clearing turned a colourful orange as the sun began to set.
"Well a guess we'll call it a day" said Chomper in a tired voice.
"We'll meet here again tomorrow guy's" said Cera
There were nods of agreement from each of the friends and a chorus of "goodnight's" followed suit as they all left for their own respective nests.  

Ducky jumped on Spike's back as they left the clearing for home but they had hardly gone two steps outside the clearing before they bumped into their mother.
"Mama" Ducky said in surprise
Sura smiled at her two children "Hello you two" she said "that was quite a move you made back there Spike"
Spike opened his mouth in surprise had his mother watched the whole game?
Sura chuckled at Spike's reaction "Yes I saw the whole game Spike and that was a bit unfair the way you sneaked up on Littlefoot".
Spike grinned at his mother's comment.
"It was still a good move though yep yep yep" said Ducky from her place atop Spikes back.
"That it was" agreed her mother "but now it's time to go home, I have some important news to tell you".
"Really what news?" said Ducky who was now clearly exited at her mother's announcement.
"I'll tell you when we get home" replied Sura
"Oh" groaned Ducky but she was very excited over what her mother said and there was no doubt that she would hear all about it at home, so without further ado the trio of dinosaurs headed for home.
                                                       
                                                       *

Everyone of Sura's children spoke excitedly about what their mother's big announcement would be as the ate their dinner.

Maybe we are going on a journey?

Or maybe we are moving home again?

What do you think mom will say?

The quarries were endless until after they finished dinner when their mother called them. The excited children stood before their mother with tails wagging with excitement and anticipation.

"Children" said Sura and everyone became silent as she prepared to tell them the "important" news.
"Children in a few more seasons it will be the time of The Swimmer Trials".
All her children looked curiously at their mother each one asking the silent question "What is The Swimmer Trials?"
"The Swimmer Trials are a series of contests and challenges that many Swimmers must face before the Time of Great Growing" said Sura.
"These Trials" continued Sura's mate and father to her children: Ruphus "are designed to see if the Swimmer's have what it takes to survive and to see if they are suited for leadership and in addition all the Swimmer families compete to see who has the top Swimmers and each Swimmer is ranked according to their abilities".
"So we are all going to do these trials?" asked on of the boys  
"No Bold" said Sura "you and the rest of your clutch mates will not take the trials as you are to young only your older brothers and sisters from the first clutch shall take the Trials and Spike of course will also not be taking the Trials for obvious reasons".
"You are also going to begin training for the Trials tomorrow and we will continue that training until the big day" said Ruphus.
The young swimmers now looked very excited.
"But first" said Sura "you all need a good early night sleep."  
The young ones groaned as none of them felt like sleeping but both their parents were insistent on getting enough sleep for the next day and soon the sound of soft snores arouse from the Swimmers nest as everyone fell asleep to dream about tomorrow and the day of The Swimmer Trials.
     
                           
Well here is the next chapter of the story hope you like it and don't hesitate to give feedback.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




LittlefootAndAliTogether

  • Ducky
  • *
    • Posts: 1415
    • View Profile
Is Sura Ducky's mother?  I keep worrying for poor Ducky.  She is one of the Gang of Seven that I least want to die.   :unsure:


The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Sura is Ducky's mother and don't worry to much about Ducky she does not take the trial to way later on in the story.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Ducky stumbled through the dense tropical rainforest in a futile attempt to escape the imposing walls of green on every side but to no avail. The rainforest was an unfamiliar land to Ducky, many of the moist covered plants that surrounded her were completely new to her but that was not the real problem. It was the scorching heat that was roasting the poor Swimmer alive. Ducky continued to stumble through the rainforest but appeared to be getting nowhere.

"How did I get here?" thought Ducky, she only left her friends to get a drink and as she had started through the shrub on her way to the watering hole she suddenly found herself here, on the inside of a rainforest. Ducky called out for her friends and her mother in the hope that someone would find her and take her out of this scorching forest but nobody answered her calls. Ducky screamed out until she had no breath and the words died in her dry throat. Her skin felt like it was on fire and her lips were cracking up like the ground on the desert floor when it cracks up from the severe heat.

Ducky continued her journey through the rainforest but she was to busy buried in her own thoughts that she did not see the large tree root ahead of her.
TRIP!
"AHH!"
Ducky squealed loudly as she fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.
By now Ducky was too exhausted to move. She just lay on the ground, panting in exhaustion. She didn't even have the water left to produce any tears. "Water" thought Ducky desperately "need water". Ducky became more and more dizzy as an uncertain amount of time past with no relief to the searing head and unending thirst. She needed to find water to cool herself down and to quench her thirst.

Then somewhere in the Swimmers mind she remembered the types of plants she had been seeing and she also remembered experiencing this type of heat when they were taking Mo to the Big Water, they had nearly reached it when they started to feel this heat and see these plants. Back then she had been riding on Spike's back and as a result was not as tired as she was now. "Perhaps there is water ahead yep yep yep" thought Ducky "and maybe I will find my friends". This thought gave her hope and with what must have been an enormous effort she hoisted herself up onto her legs only to be overwhelmed by a wave of dizziness, she leaned against a tree until she recovered and resumed her journey through the rainforest.

After an uncounted time Ducky fell to the ground, utterly devoid of strength. It was at that moment that she gave up.
Ducky sobbed pitifully but no tears rolled down her cheeks.
"I am sorry Spike" thought Ducky mournfully, she would never see her beloved brother nor her dear friends and family again. "I am so sorry...I am......I am". The black veil of unconsciousness began to drift across her eyes.
SPLASH!
Ducky's eyes opened wide.
Then she heard it again, the sounds of splashing and laughter just a few metres ahead. Ducky looked up and a fresh wave of hope engulfed her.  
This unlocked a hidden stash of strength that she did not know she had and with a few more steps Ducky broke through the underbrush and came out of the rainforest to be greeted by a sight that filled her with joy. A large watering hole surrounded by rainforest and in the water were at least twenty young swimmers playing.

Ducky could hardly supress her joy but she was to tired to cheer, she just walked down to the waters edge and let herself fall in. It was a wonderful sensation to feel the cool water upon her parched body. Ducky surfaced and drank for a very long time until her thirst was quenched and it was at that point that one of the other young male Swimmers came up to her.
"Wow I have never seen anyone make it through that rainforest alive, you must be exhausted" said a dark green Swimmer.
Ducky nodded as she was still to tired to speak.
"I'm Swayer" said he said "and you must be Ducky"
Ducky looked up in surprise at Swayer when he called her by her name.
"Yes, we know who you are" said Swayer "your just like us, the best Swimmer in the herd".
Ducky somewhat flattered felt the blood run to her cheeks but she was still to tired to speak.
Swayer eyed her, looking closely at her features then he spoke in a calm voice " Never give up hope Ducky, it is the only reason why you survived the journey through the rainforest". He then gestured to the other Swimmers and said "None of us could have done that and hope is the only thing that will keep you alive during your Trail but your also going to have to trust yourself as well as your family and friends, they will always help you".
Ducky finally found her voice " What are you s-".
"Ducky, Ducky!" called a faint voice that grew louder.
"Ducky wake up!".

Ducky opened her eyes to find herself back in the nest at home with her mother giving her a gentle push "Wake up Ducky it's time to start training" said her mother quietly. Ducky looked around and realised that the rainforest and Swayer had all just been a dream.

                                                  *

Sura had woken up as the bright circle made it's first appearance above the protective mountains that surrounded the Great Valley. Sura turned to look at her young ones, there was seven of her children all sleeping together next to her warm bulk and past them near Sura's tail slept Spike who was snoring the loudest "As always" thought Sura and next to Spike slept Ducky who was shifting restlessly in her sleep. "I am sorry Spike" said Ducky in her sleep "I am so sorry...I am......I am".
"She must be having a sleep story" thought Sura turning to her daughter. "Ducky, Ducky!" she said quietly but Ducky was still asleep.
"Ducky wake up!" said Sura a bit more loudly, giving her daughter a soft push with the edge of her beak as she said it.
Ducky opened her eyes and sighed.
"It's time to start training" said Sura
Ducky opened her mouth and gave a long tired yawn, while her mother went to wake up the rest of her clutch mates.
Sura had sixteen children but only nine had slept with her and that included all of her first clutch younglings and Spike, all the rest of her children were sleeping with their father as they did not need to get up early to begin training like their older siblings.
Sura then proceeded to wake Spike, she gave him a firm push but when that didn't work so she said to her son "Breakfast is ready dear". That did it.
Spike quickly awoke when he was tempted with food but when he saw this was not the case he wondered over to a bush and started munching on some of it's leaves.
Ducky was feeling very tired as she ate her breakfast, her mind kept on playing back the strange dream that she had. "Never give up hope Ducky". Swayer's words kept on repeating themselves in her mind but she could not understand why he said them. She and her friends had been on many adventures and they had never really given up hope so why did Swayer tell her not to give up?

While Ducky pondered these thoughts her siblings were working themselves into an excited frenzy.

"What will the Trials be like?"

"What will mom teach us?"

"Do you think we will do well in the Trials?"

The questions continued until Sura called them "Come along dears we are going to the watering hole to begin your training". The excited Swimmers ran to their mother and Ducky climbed onto Spike's back then they all set off.
Upon arrival the young Swimmers asked "can we have a race? can we, can we? please..."
Sura chuckled at her children's antics. "Alright, you'll all race to the center of the watering hole and back".
Each of the young Swimmers took up there positions in the water and waited for the mother's signal, while Spike looked on from the bank.
"Ready......Set......GO!"

The children took off and began Swimming very quickly out toward the centre of the Lake.
Sura smiled. To the children this was just a playful game but instead they had actually begun their training for the Trials.
Ducky was Swimming at full speed by the time she reached the centre of the lake but she didn't want to slow down so she did a wide turn so she would not lose as much speed and began Swimming back. She was neck and neck with her brother Rapid when they were half way back to shore.
She was aware of nothing but her heart beating away at double it's normal speed, they were nearly at the shore and that's when Ducky put on a fierce burst of speed that propelled her ahead of her brother and back to the shore first.  
Ducky lay on the shore panting from the intense swim she had just undertaken. "Well done Ducky" said her mother "and well done to you as well Rapid you two were the fastest".
After the young Swimmers all had a break to catch their breath, their mother called them to attention.
"The Swimmer Trials" she said "test your abilities of speed like you did in that race but there are many other Trials that test your manoeuvrability, diving to depth, strength, intelligence and the ability to react quickly and correctly and each of these Trials are also contests so you must perform your best to do well. Which is why you will be trained in these abilities to give you the best chance at doing well in the Trials".
"Do you think we will do well?" asked Ducky
"I'm sure you all will" said her mother "Now can any of you tell me why Ducky and Speedy were the first to reach the shore?"
The children were caught off guard by their mother's question so no one was able to answer her.
"It was because they both did wide turns, which allowed them to conserve their speed better then if they did a sharp turn as the rest of you did" said Sura.
There was a chorus of "Oh" from her children as they all grasped the implications of their mother's statement.
"Now then" said Sura "Let's officially start your training".    


Here is the next chapter. Feel free to give feedback.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Since I accidentally forgot to post the name of the last Chapter.
Here it is:
Chapter 3:Foreboding and Training
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
I have edited my first three chapters to include some more of the story as well as to correct any mistakes
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Here is the next chapter of my fanfic.

Chapter 4: A Heart Breaking Conversation.  

Ducky sat on the ground next to Spike, both of them were having lunch along with the rest of The Gang. But Ducky was eating way more then usual, this did not surprise Spike as the training that their mother put them through was intense.
"I hope Spiketails have an easier Rite of Passage then The Swimmer Trials, they look very difficult" thought Spike in the back of his mind, though when he thought about it Ducky had performed the best in each of the exercises their mother gave them. "Maybe that is why she is so tired, she has worked very hard". Spike reflected what his mother had said about the Trials and then he remembered that she had also spoken of Individual Trials, which were set to each Swimmer individually. These Individual Trials posed a different challenge for each Swimmer that must be overcome to successfully complete the Trials.

Ducky was also reflecting on the exercises that her mother asked them to perform.

Earlier In The Morning.  


Ducky swam right then left then down at unbelievable speed in an attempt to avoid her other siblings who were all trying to get a touch on her.
After the race Ducky had listened to her mother talk about the different individual Trials a Swimmer could face then she got them all to go back into the water and selected one of them who would be the maneuverer while the others would be the chasers who tried to catch the maneuverer, her mother had also said that the maneuverer was not allowed to swim from the chases but instead to avoid them as the came.

Ducky was the last to be the made the maneuverer, none of her other siblings had lasted long mainly because she was usually the one to catch them. But now that she had traded places with them the heat was her. However she had an advantage over her other siblings and that was that she had actually had the challenge of outmanoeuvring the Great Sharptooth before she had come to the valley, this gave her an edge that her other siblings lacked.
Ducky dived down into deeper waters as to avoid her other sister. Opal. Ducky managed to avoid her, but she turned only to see the rest of her siblings heading toward her in a unavoidable wall. Ducky did not waste time, she put on a burst of speed and with a few strong kicks of her legs she was rocketing toward the surface at full speed. Her siblings saw what she was trying to do but were not fast enough to reach the surface before her.
Ducky broke the surface, but her momentum carried her forward up and out of the water and over her surprised siblings. Ducky dived under but laid there, that final push had drained her of energy and so she was very grateful to be tagged by her other siblings.
When they all reached the shore Ducky lay on the ground breathing unsteadily while her other siblings crowded around her.
"Wow I never knew you could do that!" said Opal in amazement and all her other siblings nodded they like Opal wore expressions of amazement.
"Alright you lot" said their mother "give your sister some room she is exhausted and needs some rest. So we will all break for lunch dears".
It was at that moment that The Gang showed up.
"Hey Ducky, Spike, we were wondering where you were. We waited outside the secret caverns but you never showed up" said Littlefoot as he approached. But upon seeing Ducky lying on the ground breathing in heavily, he as well as the rest of The Gang stopped.
"Are you ok Ducky?" said Chomper obvious concern on his face.
"I'm...fine" replied Ducky in a tired voice.
"Hello kids" said Ducky's mother in her usual cheery voice. "If sorry but Ducky can't play today she has begun her training for The Swimmer Trials".
"The Swimmer Trials?" asked Cera obvious confusion showing on her and the rest her friends faces.
"Is Swimmer Trials like Day of the Flyers?" inquired Petrie.
"Yes it is Petrie, so I think you can understand why she needs to train" replied Sura.
The Gang looked a little downcast at this.
"But you are welcome to watch her practice" added Sura.
The gang immediately brightened up to that.
"Thank you Mrs Swimmer" said Littlefoot and the five friends went over to join Ducky. Who was eating some tree stars by the shore.  

Back To The Present

Ducky was feeling a lot better after eating and drinking, so she just lay on the ground next her friends and rested while her siblings replenished themselves.

Sura was a short distance away in another clearing eating some tree stars when a sudden voice made her jump.
"Already got your children training have you Sura?" said the old voice
Sura turned around to see another female Swimmer who appeared to be much older then she was emerge from the underbrush. As was the case She was the high elder Swimmer but she was known to Sura and a few others as...
"Hello Sculra" said Sura calmly.
Sculra was in part the keeper of all the wisdom of the Swimmers but she was also in part the leader of the Swimmer's but so was Sura due to her high standing in the mixed herds and her ability to interact with other kinds as Sculra herself was incapable of doing. In many ways she was much like Mr Threehorn but with a ruthless cunning instead of a short temper. She and Sura had a sort of dual power over the Swimmer herd as they both led it, but neither of them got along very well together with many of the ideas contradicting the ideas of the other. So they seldom spoke except in herd matters.
"Hello to you to Sura" replied Sculra
Sura watched the high elder closely "I did not expect to see you today, I suppose you not here on business?"
"On the contrary I have come talk to you about The Leader's Trial of Destiny" said Sculra slyly.
Sura glared and spoke in a firm voice that she rarely ever used except when she was really agitated "I will have nothing do with that cursed Trial, so if you were thinking of asking me to organise it then you have wasted your trip".
"Oh I would never be so foolish as to ask you to organise this Trial, you have made sure to express your views on it. You have even tried to stop it from taking place the last few times" said Sculra in a sardonic voice. "No I have only come to tell you who I have chosen to take the Trial".
Sura's eyes widened and she then felt the same cold chill run up her spine and she suddenly had a dreaded sense of foreboding about this meeting.
"I have chosen who a believe to be the best Swimmer in the valley to take the Trial and I think that..."
Sura's heart was racing at twice it's normal pace as her fear threatened to overwhelm her.
"Your daughter Ducky will b-".
"NO!" yelled Sura in horror "You can't do this!".
Sculra smiled "Actually you'll find I can".
Sura fell to her knees in a pleading gesture "Please" she cried "Not my little Ducky, I'll resign my position, I'll do anything, just don't let my daughter compete, no one has survived that Trial, You'll as good as kill her".
Sculra's smile became wider.
"Please stop this madness she is just a child" pleaded Sura desperately.
"I have made my choice Sura" said the high elder in a stern voice. "Ducky will take the Trial or I will personally throw her into the raging rapids".
Sura gasped. She could hardly believe what she was hearing "You wouldn't dare. IF YOU TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!" screamed Sura in rage at this threat.
"You know our traditions better then anyone Sura" said the high elder firmly "and if you resist then I know some characters who will help me. Ducky will take the Trail and that is may final word". and with that Sculra turned tail and left, leaving Sura weeping pitifully on the ground.

It's seemed to Sura that she was in some sort of nightmare. She was faced with setting Ducky a Trial that no one had ever survived. She had watched the Trial take place and it revolted her. She had seen that the stream had turned red with the poor Swimmers blood every time one took the Trial and the screams of the mothers who would never see their children again haunted her. How was she going to break this news to Ducky? Or the rest of her children? They would be heart broken. It was then that she decided that she would only tell her husband and sister before she told Ducky and she would not tell the rest of her children or Ducky's friends and especially not Spike if she could help it.
Sura got up and dried her tears and headed back to the nest to give Ruphus and her sister: Merri, the terrible news, they would not like it but they all need to know in order to work out what to do next.
One thing was for sure Sura would do everything in her power to keep Ducky safe.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




Cancerian Tiger

  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 6961
    • View Profile
Hey there, cool story so far!

Sheesh, I thought Ms. Maia was awful.  I already don't care for this Sculrya.  I sure hope Ducky makes it.


The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Thanks and to think this is only the beginning.
and yes. Sculra is in a totally other league to Mrs Maia, so I can't blame you for not liking her. She is in fact one of the main villains in the story but not the only one.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




Ducky123

  • *feels like Pterano*
  • Member+
  • Littlefoot
  • *
    • Posts: 7484
    • View Profile
Review of chapter 2:

I like the way the game goes. Spike saved it huh? :D

The Swimmer Trials sound really challenging and it challenge seems to be not only for every individual but for families too. So Ducky and her (older) siblings will also fight for the honour of their family and for their social status. Interesting concept :yes

Inactive, probably forever.


The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Thanks for the review Ducky. Yes, it is going to be one hell of a competition. But that will come much later in the story so we'll all have to wait a while before the big day comes.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?




The Lone Dragon

  • Member+
  • Spike
  • *
    • Posts: 469
  • Release The Dragon!
    • View Profile
Speaking of chapter's here is the next one.

Chapter 5: Panic and a  Plan

Ruphus and Merri were also having lunch back at the nest. They were both deep in conversation about the Trials.
"So what's the training plan?" asked Merri.
"We plan to have two training sessions a week".
"How do think the children will go?"
"Just fine Merri, honestly your so much like Sura" Chuckled Ruphus. The difference between Sura and Merri was hardly any difference at all.
"That would be because we are sisters, twins. Do really expect that we wouldn't be similar Ruphus?"replied Merri.
"I'm just saying that you can worry just as badly as Sura".
They both exchanged glances.
"Sura is worried about the Trial of Destiny" said Ruphus quietly.
"I can perfectly understand her, she has campaigned against it ever since she found out about it, but I don't understand why it's called The Trial of Destiny, it doesn't describe the Trial at all" said Merri, who was also worried about "that" Trial.
Ruphus frowned "The name is just a label, so that no one knows it's true nature". The Trial of Destiny was a closely guarded secret amongst the Swimmers but it was anything but a secret as every adult in the valley knew it and despised it.
"I do hope that Sculra sees sense this time. I don't want to see any of the children go to their deaths" said Merri looking down.
"Well for once" said Ruphus "I'm more worried then you".
"You don't think she'd pick any of our little ones?".
"I wouldn't put it past her, you know how much she dislikes Sura, especially after she took in Spike and because of the fact that Sura forsook all the more terrible Swimmer traditions. I have a bad feeling that she won't rest until she can get back at Sura for defying her and the Trial of Destiny is the ideal opportunity. I hope I am wrong". said Ruphus nervously.
"So do I" agreed Merri.
The two Swimmers continued eating in silence, each buried in their own thoughts until they heard the sound of footsteps fast approaching. The two turned around to see Sura arriving.
Ruphus and Merri could both tell something was very wrong by Sura's panicked expression. Sura did not stop until she was in the arms of her mate.
"Sura, what's wrong?" asked Ruphus in a concerned voice.
Sura trembled "It's......Ducky". Sura looked up tears were pouring down her face.
Merri and Ruphus both looked at her with concerned expressions. "What had happened?" they both thought.
"What's wrong with Ducky, is she hurt?" asked Ruphus in as much a calm voice as he could muster although his fear showed in his expression.
"She's......She's...been chosen".
Sura heard gasps of horror from her sister and mate.
"Oh no" wailed Merri.
"We can't let her compete" said Ruphus determinedly.  
Sura looked up at her mate "Sculra threatened to kill her if we refused". A fresh wave of tears broke out over her.
"WHAT!!?" yelled both Merri and Ruphus.
"That foul son of a tar pit threatened to kill our daughter!?" shouted Ruphus fiercely.
Sura nodded. "She threatened to throw her in the raging rapids".
Merri's mouth was opened in shock while Ruphus looked furious.
The raging rapids was a water way that led out of the Great Valley, but the violent waters were impossible to navigate for even the best adult Swimmers let alone a young one who would never make it out alive.
"What do we do then?" said Merri who was on the verge of tears "It seems like we have no choice but to let Ducky take the Trial".
Sura gave a mournful cry "No one has ever survived that Trial".
"She might be the first" said Ruphus in an attempt to calm Sura, but to no avail.
"I bet that is what everybody thought when they heard the news and look what happened to their children what is to stop the same thing from happening to our little Ducky?" said Merri mournfully.
Sura stopped crying and suddenly made up her mind but she needed to confirm her idea with her family. "Do you think that an adult could survive that Trial?"
The others looked at her blankly.
"I don't know" said Merri
"I believe so" said Ruphus slowly although he failed to see what Sura was getting at, "Ducky is not an adult Sura" he said
"If I am to send my sweet daughter to perform in that good for nothing Trial then I will teach her the Wisdom of the elder Swimmer's. Both Merri and Ruphus stared at Sura in shock. "A child might not survive the Trial but a child who knows the wisdom's of our race might".
The Swimmer wisdom's were a whole range of techniques and skills that only a few elders knew, only the most oldest or important elders were ever allowed to learn them.
"Sura" said Merri slowly, she could hardly believe what she had just heard. "Those secrets are forbidden except to the elders".
"It will give Ducky the best chance anyone has ever had" said Sura firmly.
"Your treading in dangerous waters Sura, have you any idea what Sculra would do if she found out?". enquired Ruphus quietly.
"It will be no different then if she did the Trials without the knowledge that I will teach her" said Sura.
"Alright, we're with you but what are we going to tell the rest of the children?" asked Ruphus.
"We won't tell them anything if we have to dear, only us and Ducky should know. I don't know how they'd handle the possibility of losing Ducky. Also I will train Ducky in Hidden Clearing from tomorrow" said Sura firmly.
"And how are you going to break the news to her?" asked Merri
"I'll tell her when we get to the clearing, but you must help cover for me if Sculra should come snooping, if she found out what we're doing..." said Sura.
"Okay we'll cover for you if she comes and I'll train the children and I'll also go and have a chat to Sculra tomorrow, see if I can change her mind" said Ruphus.
"It sounds like we've got a plan then" said Sura. Se felt a lot more hopeful that Ducky could survive.

*

The Bright Circle was setting over the Great Valley and Ducky along with her friends and siblings were still at the watering hole waiting for Sura to return. Ducky had already told her friends everything she knew about the Trials and about the training her mother was giving to her and her siblings. None of them noticed how low the Bright Circle was getting until they had finished talking about the Trials. That is when Ducky noticed her mother's absence and called out for her but she did not return.
"Where is your mother Ducky?" asked Chomper "I thought she only left to have lunch then she'd come back and continue your training".
"I do not know oh no no no" said Ducky sounding a little worried.
But before any of them could begin to speculate about Ducky's mother's whereabouts she arrived looking very tired.
"Mama" said Ducky running forward to meet her. "Where were you? You never returned nope nope nope".
Sura bent down and gave her daughter a soft nuzzle. "Sorry, I got held up dear, had a talk with the high elder about the trials. Come on little ones it's time we went home" Sura called to the rest of her children.
"Goodnight Ducky" called The Gang as she left for home.

Sura walked toward the nest with her children though she kept an eye on Ducky. "Oh dear" she thought "She was so young and innocent and happy why does she have to suffer like this? She's already been through too much". Sura took a deep breath and quickly brushed a tear from her eye so none of her children would see how stressed she was. "Sculra was right about one thing" thought Sura "Ducky is probably the best Swimmer of her age in the Valley if anything she has the best chance to beat the Trial and I'll make sure that she is ready when the time comes". Sura felt a little better, maybe the situation wasn't as dark as it looked.
What's the point in being mad if you don't do mad things now and again?