The Gang of Five
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TLBT Fanfiction series

OwlsCantRead

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"Will she be alright? Will mother be alright?"
uhhhhhhhhh yeah we know how this ends :(

Great job with the chase description from Littlefoot's point-of-view! We don't know much of what he thinks in this specific chase scene (besides obviously, abject fear) in the film, so his steadfast insistence on saving Cera when she's frozen stiff and then runs the wrong way is a very apt way of showing his leadership traits and "no one left behind" quality even this early on in his life.
Would it be possible for swimmers and flyers to get more love around here? Both figuratively… and literally.







That one guy who writes LBT fanfiction and accidentally makes them five times longer than he'd originally intended.


rhombus

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This was an excellent retelling of the chase scene in the original film!  This accomplished two very different objectives quite nicely - it captured the urgency of the moment and it also captured the interactions between the two dinosaurs very well as they ran for their lives.  Both of these objectives could have ended up disrupting the other, but you succeeded in allowing each to compliment the other.

Now the emotional wrenching scene awaits us... Though it will, as always, be a difficult read due to the subject matter, I look forward to seeing how you handle this in the tale.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

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 Time to continue this one as well!

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Part 2:


*snap*

The longneck had to rear back in order to dodge a bite following a quick charge of predator. Now she'd have to use every trick imaginable that her folks had taught to her. Backup was unlikely as she had taken it upon herself to go look for the boy. She'd have to settle this herself.

The sharptooth grimaced as his attack was being repelled. A longneck who reared up was a huge danger. He may have been large but the longneck was even more gigantic. Their weapons were evenly matched; it was size and brute strength versus his deadly arsenal of claws and teeth and his wit. It was a match between two equal opponents.

Littlefoot's mother tried to land a hit at the retreating sharptooth, however the predator switched back into attack mode immediately, causing the longneck to sidestep out of harm's way. Both combatants became more reserved, more careful, each respecting and acknowledging the strength, skill and experience of the other. A single blow could be harmful or even fatal for both parties though more so for the leafeater.

"I don't think I can attack recklessly here..." the longneck pondered as she was moving backwards, gritting her teeth at the predator, not letting him slip out of her sight even once. She'd have to achieve either of two options in order to save Littlefoot as well as herself.

"Defeat him or make him scared..."

Of course simply running for it was also an option, however that would not ensure Littlefoot's safety, not to mention that this individual was extremely determined to get a meal out of her; the fact that he was taking on a longneck who clearly knew how to fight was evident to that.

"I've got to discourage that sharptooth instead of retreating!" With that in mind to boost her spirits, she changed the angle her body was positioned in regards to the red-eyed beast, bringing her tail in position to attack. Putting all her strength into the blow, she aimed for the sharptooth's chest. However, he got wind of her plans, just a moment too late though. The meateater reared back, attempting to leap out of the longneck's range but only half succeeded. While in mid-air, the tip of the massive tail made contact with his thighs, the additional push, while not really adding to his injuries from the previous chase, throwing him off balance. With a resounding thud, several pebbles bouncing a little into the air, he fell flat on its back. A triumphant look was on the longneck's face; the sharptooth was down and within range to step on and crush. However, she was puzzling for a second to run while she could, pick up Littlefoot and make a beeline for it.

It was this second of hesitation that ruined her only chance to kill the sharptooth - stomping on its chest might've just crushed the vital organs. By the time she had made up her mind, the predator was already in the process of getting back onto his feet and the longneck suddenly knew that she had wasted her chance. Cursing, she raised her tail again, determined to make the best out of the situation still, to push the sharptooth who was growling in rage from his feet again but he had enough time to brace himself for the impact, taking the painful hit to the side of his head and neck, enduring it, staggering.

But not falling...

"Not good!" Before the longneck was able to return to her defensive pose, the predator rushed forward, using his massive skull as a means of ramming into the longneck's flank to give her a taste of her own medicine. Littlefoot's mother staggered and groaned as her rips ached, thrown off balance. Two more of these head-butting attacks and she ultimately lost her footing, toppling over and whirling up a cloud of dust.

*

Some distance further uphill, the two children made an important discovery.

"Littlefoot, look! That rock!"

"What about it?" the little longneck inquired in response to the little orange threehorn.

"It should be a good place to hide, dummy!" the girl replied, snarky and teasing as he had gotten to know her. Littlefoot's gaze wandered over to the rock in question. The two children had sprinted past a narrow rock bridge which had been flanked by deep ravines to both sides. They had then entered a path neither broad nor narrow, a steep slope to both sides. Behind them, there was a downward slope. Being covered by a lot of rubble, it reached several longneck lengths below. On the other side, the direction Littlefoot and Cera were currently staring, there was a landscape of scorched, craggy rock that folded into shallow but steep mountains, too steep to climb. The rock in question that Cera had suggested for hiding stood at the base of the cliff, a few meters high and about a dozen long. A narrow ravine was formed between the rock and the mountain face; it would hide them nicely indeed!

"Oh... right," Littlefoot mumbled absentmindedly, strolling over to the rock to inspect it a little closer. "Yeah, we fit in here just fine."

Cera simply gave a smug grin, taking credit for her discovery with apparent pleasure as she lead the duo into their hideout.

Littlefoot's mind was still in a turmoil. The shock of the encounter with the sharptooth was sitting very deep and the worry about his mother was eating him up. While he was out here in safety, perhaps his mother was being ripped apart this very second. The wind was still carrying the sounds of the ongoing battle up to their location and it was impossible to tell who was having the upper hand. At least, the ongoing noise told him that his mother was still alive, still putting up a fight. With a sigh, he imitated Cera and made himself as comfortable as was possible in a narrow crack... and then he waited...

*

"No!" The huge longneck cursed as she found herself down on the ground, lying on her flank which made her whole abdomen, flank and legs open to attack. The sharptooth uttered a terrible, triumphant roar upon his apparent victory, stepping closer, raising his clawed foot to slice the longneck's tender lower belly open in one swift motion. Even a single cut in that area could mean a certain victory if it was deep and bloody. A longneck was best not to attack too directly while it still obtained its weapons, however it was a whole different story if said longneck was on the ground. A wound lethal to smaller dinosaurs was still manageable for a longneck simply because it took so long for them to bleed out and to lose their strength. Unless one was lucky or reckless enough to snap the neck or otherwise inflict a critical injury to the neck, it was best to cause a lot of damage with minimum risk until their strength was beginning to fade.

"Oh no you're not!" Littlefoot's mother roared, seeing the clawed foot aim at her flesh. As adrenaline flooded her system, the longneck swung her mighty tail at the last second. An ugly sound echoed through the desolate landscape as her tail crashed into the predator's leg, which he was resting most of his weight on. The monster fell like a tree in a storm onto his side, howling in pain. The longneck used her sudden  advantage to hurry onto her feet before the sharptooth could. This time, she did not hesitate to deal the blow. She reared up in uncontained rage, fear and love transmuting into brute strength. The eye of the predator, the one that was still intact, went wide in stock as he realized the fate that was about to overcome him. In an awe-inspiring effort, he threw all his weight to the direction that was facing away from the rampaging leafeater, barely rolling out of harm's way as the massive front feet came down just where his chest hay been moments prior.

"This is no ordinary sharptooth..." the longneck deduced quickly. That she was still unharmed safe for some painful bruises was a miracle and that her opponent was alive and well even more so. Any other sharptooth would have succumbed to her wrath but not this one... not this one.

"There's nothing to gain trying to defeat it, hopefully that blow to its leg will slow it down... and if not..." Littlefoot's Mother didn't want to think about that. Her bravado was completely gone now and she didn't hesitate to turn around, entering a fast sprint to gain a headstart.

*

The minutes ran by as the Bright Circle contained to rise over the
depressing landscape. Littlefoot was pacing up and down in the little crack he and Cera had discovered. The threehorn was eyeing the nervous longneck with growing disdain, his restless pacing tugging on her mood.

"Settle down, will ya?!" she eventually barked in annoyance, giving him an angered stare. Littlefoot stopped pacing around indeed, however his energy was now directed at her.

"Oh, leave me alone, Cera!" the boy shouted in a fierce voice. The threehorn was one to talk! If her parents were fighting a sharptooth, he'd bet her his treestar (did his grandparents keep it for him?) that she'd be a mental wreck too, especially after barely escaping death herself!

"You're annoying so cut it out!" the girl demanded but Littlefoot wouldn't hear any of it.

"The hell I do, my mother is down there; and she is risking her neck to save our hides, in case you haven't noticed!"

"Humpff!!!" Cera had a response prepared, however, in the light of their predicament, provoking the agitated boy even more surely would prompt a fight and that was the least thing one should be doing under the scrutiny of a sharptooth. Thus, she, though reluctantly, kept her mouth shut.

"I'm gonna take a look!" Littlefoot announced angrily, climbing up the boulder to stick his long neck out of cover.

"Oh no..." he mumbled.

*

For about a minute and a little, the adult longneck was running uphill across hard, dusty rock, the path surrounded by even more rock. For a moment, she'd hoped that her attacker would abandon the hunt. However, the thundering footsteps behind her, which weren't her own, gave her little doubt that the sharptooth hadn't given up yet. As she was crossing a stone bridge, which was bordered by steep cliffs to both sides, she realized that she couldn't run from the beast. Despite the headstart that she had bought herself, the predator had caught up until a length behind her. Soon it would be within striking range again and her chances were surely higher if she went back to fighting. As a matter of fact, the terrain offered possibilities that she could use to her advantage. The cliffs to either side could prove to be useful if she could lure the sharptooth into a position from which she could push it down with her superior strength. Once she had reached the middle of the bridge where it was the narrowest, she abruptly decelerated from her sprint, turning around to face the sharptooth head on who slowed down as well as the longneck reared up, kicking her legs.

"I need to push him down!" she thought, retreating her neck as the sharptooth snapped after it. Frantically, she was trying to seize up a plan how to achieve her aim. She began by observing the terrain thoroughly.

"The slope towards the left is steeper and the rocks more ragged but I need to lure him towards the edge... and mustn't allow that pest to do the same to me!" It was easier said than done and the longneck was well aware of it. In order to push the predator down, she would have to strike him once positioned on the right spot, using her whip-like tail. Naturally, though, a longneck was more prone to fight on the retreat. Hence, she'd have to suppress that automatism, that instinctual response to the threat. She'd have to pressure the sharptooth into a corner from which she could carry out her scheme - and not the other way around!

"I must be brave... for Littlefoot!" That motivational thought was just the boost she needed right now. Her body was facing the sharptooth frontally which made the bloodied monster very careful, very cautious, not daring to attack frontally but also not daring to go closer the edge for a flank attack. A few threatening swings of his claws was all he managed to do. The sharptooth was hesitant, it was her chance!" Uttering a roar of her own, she charged.

The sharptooth immediately realized that he was in danger, thus taking a few steps back, teeth and claws ready to strike. However, Littlefoot's mother charged in anyway, rearing up when an attack was imminent, successfully preventing the sharptooth's attempt to hurt her. The behemoth was still too far from the edge but the opportunity was too good to let it pass unexploited. As her massive front feet came back down onto the floor, footed on all fours again, the female wheeled around in one swift movement. The predator ran to evade the terrible tail strike but the impact came, although only scratched by the tip of the longneck's tail. Quickly, he sprinted a little distance up to the other side to restructure his defense and plan his next attack.

But the longneck didn't grant the sharptooth that time.

"Die you pest!" the longneck shouted in wrath as she charged again. When the sharptooth turned around, he only saw the massive tail approaching fast  before flesh met flesh, the tail slapping his lower abdomen so vigorously that he was catapulted several meters through the air, landing just on the edge of the right slope, not as steep as the left but still quite a drop.

"Get lost!!!" Littlefoot's mother screamed in blind rage, covering the remaining distance she had put between them with one leap. The behemoth stood no chance as the longneck's tail rose, took aim and flung the most dangerous creature that walked the earth off the ledge. With a screeth of pain, the sharptooth somersaulted down the slope. The longneck did not follow the tumbling body with her gaze, immediately gaining ground, further crossing the rock bridge until the steep slope to her left (which she'd just pushed the sharptooth into) eventually gave rise to a rocky mountainscape of crooked, brown-orange rock instead.

"Littlefoot was heading this way, I'm sure..." Because, where else would he have run? There had been only one path to follow from the moment he had entered this upslope path through the scorched rocks and mountains. On another thought, it offered plenty places to hide for small children like Littlefoot. She had to find him fast and escape before the sharptooth recovered from the fall - and that, based on her experience so far, wouldn't take too long with this one...

"Littlefoot!"

*

With dread, the little longneck followed the clash of giants from his perch up the hill behind the boulder he used as a hideout, ready to slip back down if it became necessary to do so. His mother had been in grave danger many times but more and more awe mixed with his fear as the fight kept raging.

"Whoa! Mother is so strong and brave!" He said these words out loud as the sharptooth was flung from its feet.

"Heh? Did that sharptooth eat her yet?" the voice of the orange threehorn was carried up from below. Littlefoot's face distorted.

"Of course not!" he shouted indignantly," she..." Just then the little longneck saw how the extremely vicious predator was pushed off the edge by his mother.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed in excitement. "I think she won!!!"

"MY father would have just stabbed that old sharptooth, longnecks sure are weak!" But Littlefoot chose to ignore the boasting threehorn, instead continuing his observation.

"Does mother know where I am?" Littlefoot was just pondering about that when he received the call.

“Littlefoot! Liiiiittlefoooooot!!!”

"Over here, mother, over here!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, several echos of his voice returning to its origin, creating a scary soundscape.

"Stay hidden, I am going to get you!" his mother replied, her echoing voice mingling with the afterglow of his own words. The boy couldn't argue with that, lowering his long neck a little, taking his eyes off his quickly approaching mother and turning his attention back to Cera. Had he known though that the sharptooth was far from admitting defeat, perhaps he would have considered that decision more carefully...

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Littlefoot's mother stands brave against Sharptooth but this fight (or shall we call it a war?) is far from being over. and we all know the inevitable result :sducky . Starting here, the scene is beginning to deviate from the relatively brief encounter the movie shows us. Part of this is because I haven't been able to conclude a line of action from the written script nor the storyboards that convincingly made sense to me. It is very important for me that characters aren't randomly switching from one location to another and to prevent that I had to fill the holes that the movie and those aforementioned sources did not provide. Thus, the whole sequence has become a bit of my own version of this epic fight, a version longer and more detailed that gives insight into the minds of Littlefoot and his mother in particular. I am a little unsure whether the balance between action, thought and descriptions is well chosen and whether the action seems rushed or not but I'm sure I'll hear it from my kind followers soon :)

I have actually written this story up to Rooter's scene already so I probably don't have to work on it for a while which gives me time to focus on other projects now. I'll probably update this story again in 2-3 weeks from now, so stay tuned :)


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Quote
"Will she be alright? Will mother be alright?"
uhhhhhhhhh yeah we know how this ends :(

Great job with the chase description from Littlefoot's point-of-view! We don't know much of what he thinks in this specific chase scene (besides obviously, abject fear) in the film, so his steadfast insistence on saving Cera when she's frozen stiff and then runs the wrong way is a very apt way of showing his leadership traits and "no one left behind" quality even this early on in his life.

Eeyup... we all know :sducky

Thanks for the review! Yes, I thought that I should include such a scene, also in foresight of the big fight they'll have one day. At least Littlefoot can rightfully argue then that he saved her ungrateful behind :P And correct, as you pointed out it is very in-character for him to go to such lengths to save a friend :)


Quote
This was an excellent retelling of the chase scene in the original film!  This accomplished two very different objectives quite nicely - it captured the urgency of the moment and it also captured the interactions between the two dinosaurs very well as they ran for their lives.  Both of these objectives could have ended up disrupting the other, but you succeeded in allowing each to compliment the other.

Now the emotional wrenching scene awaits us... Though it will, as always, be a difficult read due to the subject matter, I look forward to seeing how you handle this in the tale.  :yes

Thank you for the review! I'm glad you think so, it certainly hasn't been easy to write :D

Yeah... *that* is awaiting us. :P Trust me, I'm just as much on the edge of my seat to show you what I've come up with and I'm just as anxious to find out whether or not I nailed it  :smile
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Sovereign

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This is quite a nice look into this life-changing fight, especially as the dueling perspectives create more depth into it than could be portrayed in the film. The look into Cera and Littlefoot’s problematic co-existence and the latter’s mother’s struggle showed just what amount of concern, fear and horror there was during this battle. The added dialogue made this scene feel perhaps a bit more complete and it’s true that the original scene could have been a tiny bit longer.

The arguing of the two children is portrayed very well as it is clear that Cera and Littlefoot had very differing interests in this situation. You could have perhaps even given them a bit more focus even if I see why you found the fighting more important. Also, I find it a bit weird that you’ve divided this scene into so many chapters as this installment, for example, was worth very little time in the movie. It’s not a bad thing necessarily but I still find it weird. Anyway, this installment was a pretty well written look into this part of the film. :)




rhombus

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This fight is a fine example of where the use of the written word can add more detail and elaboration on a scene than can be provided through live action.  The focus on Littlefoot's mother in this scene is a nice touch I believe as it allows us (perhaps for the last time, and most certainly for one of the last times) to sense the situation from her perspective.  The fear, concern, and growing horror from her are all quite effectively portrayed here.

I certainly have no complaints for this chapter.  :) I think that you are effectively portraying a scene that is rather difficult to get right in a written narrative.  Though, as I have mentioned before, I both dread and look forward to seeing how you portray what is about to come.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

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Part 3:

So it looks like we’ll be safe,” Littlefoot mentioned as he climbed back down into the narrow space between mountain and boulder.

“You are,” Cera muttered viciously, shooting an angry glance.

“You don’t have a clue where your herd is?” the boy wondered, slightly uneasy given the obvious threat hanging in mid-air.

“YOU wouldn’t know where your mother is if she hadn’t come to get you!!!”

“I… can’t argue with that…” Littlefoot admitted evasively. “But… surely you cam find them again? Even from up here, you can see the river I think…” Littlefoot quickly double-checked, sticking his neck out of their cover again. “Yeah, I am s…”

The remainder of his sentence completely drowned in an ear-piercing noise.

*

*ROAR*

The adult longneck stopped dead in her tracks as a terrifying, furious roar shook the very land. Anxiously, she turned around to see the sharptooth stomp the ground in blind rage and fury. Then it entered a mad sprint…

Towards her.

“Oh no…” the female cursed as the realization hit her like a slap to her face. She couldn’t fight that beast with Littlefoot clinging onto her for his bare life and she was already very exhausted. Soon, she wouldn’t have the strength to fight, the speed to dodge. She couldn’t run away; she couldn’t outrun the sharptooth; she couldn’t protect Littlefoot doing so. Fighting would be extremely dangerous. Her luck couldn’t last forever and Littlefoot would be in grave danger if she lost the square. There was only one advantage on her side… she was standing on higher terrain. It would allow her to strike from an elevated position which would add some momentum to her attacks but that wasn’t enough to boost her spirits.

The longneck kept inching backwards, keeping a close eye on the advancing predator, approaching at a terrifying velocity. Her body had already entered a protective pose long before the sharptooth arrived by instinct. She had only a few moments left to prepare a plan… for without a good strategy doom was certain.

*

“What was that?!” Cera screamed, chilled to the bone despite not willing to admit it so easily. “Didn’t you just say Sharptooth was defeated?!”

“Well, my mother pushed him down a cliff so I thought she’d gotten rid of him…” Littlefoot admitted, flinching and frowning. The behemoth could be seen climbing back up in the distance and he could see his mother turning around to face Sharptooth once again.

“This fight isn’t over yet…” the boy sighed as he noticed the threehorn girl taking a vantage point right next to him.

“They’re nearby,” she simply said in a gruff voice.

“Yeah, we’d better get back to cover…” Littlefoot suggested reluctantly. Didn’t he want to watch how amazing his mother fought? But, what if the sharptooth discovered them? No, he couldn’t risk that. Staying hidden was their best bet after all so they both scrambled back down as the restart of the battle took place…

*

“This’d better work…”

She had almost reached the top of the hill when the sharptooth finally managed to catch up to her. Judging by their previous exchange, the grown-up expected her son to remain hidden - perhaps he’d been smart enough to pick a high vantage point? Therefore, she decided to yell instructions as she stared the predator down in anticipation of their fight. If she didn’t indicate her readiness to fight and the ferocity inside of her, she’d have as good as lost here...

*

“Littlefoot, stay hidden! When I tell you to run, then run!!!”

Littlefoot heard his mother's words loud and clear - probably she wasn’t very far from his position anymore but he did not dare look, his heart racing, its rhythm increasing by the minute in excitement and dread.

“Okay, understood!” he exclaimed against another roar of the sharptooth, though he was rather puzzled as to why these orders had been imposed upon him. Well, knowing his mother, she probably had a plan as well as a plan B.

“And what about ME?!” Cera ranted grudgingly. The threehorn was feeling rather left out and ignored and she hated that with a passion.

“Just come along then,” Littlefoot answered with a shrug.

“BUT…” Cera quickly lowered her voice as she realized that their presence shouldn’t be made obvious. “But Littlefoot, do I look like a flathead? She’ll crush me!”

“Oh, I hardly think so,” Littlefoot reassured, looking at the frightened and panicked threehorn funnily. “Mother is kind.”

“Well, YOU are a longneck but what am I?! Don’t you remember my daddy?!”

“Oh, that was your dad, huh?” Littlefoot looked away awkwardly as he remembered the incident. “You think he would have hurt me?”

“Hurt? Hah!” Cera gave a cruel laugh. “If he had been in a bad mood the other day, he would have impaled you to a tree!!! Threehorns hate you flatheads for a reason and I’m pretty darn sure you guys are no different!!!”

“Well, my folks did warn me about threehorns…” the longneck admitted. Her statement made him somewhat thoughtful; would the threehorn have attacked him back then? Would his mother do the same? He did not know.

“Well, even so, I think getting away from the sharptooth is more urgent so it should be okay to tag along, at least for now…” Littlefoot stated, still not convinced but trying to appear reassuring.

“Gee, thanks…” Cera muttered. That was when the battle truly picked up…

*

Sharptooth was there, facing her, and he was more furious like any sharptooth she had ever seen before. The level of determination of the predator was frightening her greatly. Even though her defence and her grim expression would have discouraged any sharptooth of his kind to perform a direct charge, this sharptooth was either too angry or he didn’t care. The longneck prepared as the behemoth charged at her on full speed, her tail raised, uttering a deep growl but it discouraged him little. The predator leapt as soon as it was in-range of her tail, a move which may have worked on a less experienced fighter and certainly led to a deadly blow on almost any other leaf-eating kind but Littlefoot’s mother knew exactly what she was doing and the terrain was in the longneck’s favor. She was prepared, tail and muscles tightened like the bow of an archer, prepared to release the maelstrom of her brutal strength and determination to keep Littlefoot alive. She raised her tail just a little higher before she finally released all the tension. Utilizing all her strength, her tail flung towards the predator advancing mid-air, the thick, muscular part connecting violently and sending Sharptooth flying through the air in a high arc. With a sickening, spine-crushing sound, he crashed into a large boulder which crumbled under the stunning impact. The longneck didn’t hesitate; her plan had worked. She sprinted, sprinted as fast as her tired legs allowed her to, away from Sharptooth, towards Littlefoot.

“RUN!!!” she shouted, panting from exertion. It was apparent that the boy was hiding behind a large boulder uphill, just at the top, yet he wasn’t to be seen which almost filled her with pride.

“Well done, little Littlefoot!”

*

“There, the signal!” Littlefoot scrambled up the rock to get a quick overview of the situation. Judging from the sounds of the raging battle, his mother had been victorious but the boy needed to be sure. He poked his long neck up as Cera’s face appeared beside him.

“Oh no!”

 
*

She had been correct after all. Littlefoot’s head suddenly poked out from behind the boulder… as well as the horned frill of the orange threehorn. But that discovery didn’t reach her mind as the expression of horror on the children’s faces became apparent. It was then that she realized that she’d made a terrible mistake once again… only this time she wouldn’t get away with it that easily...

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The calm before the storm  :sducky

A rather short addition this time, but there is this cliffhanger... I HAD to use it  :lol Consider it a little teaser because now there's no denying it anymore. Shit's gonna happen whenever the next part goes online  :opetrie :opetrie :opetrie :opetrie :opetrie And, needless to say, the next part will be closer to my usual chapter length, I usually try to avoid such stark contrasts of chapter length but the opportunity was simply too good to let it pass  :PAli

Hope you enjoyed it nevertheless  :^^spike


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Quote
This is quite a nice look into this life-changing fight, especially as the dueling perspectives create more depth into it than could be portrayed in the film. The look into Cera and Littlefoot’s problematic co-existence and the latter’s mother’s struggle showed just what amount of concern, fear and horror there was during this battle. The added dialogue made this scene feel perhaps a bit more complete and it’s true that the original scene could have been a tiny bit longer.

The arguing of the two children is portrayed very well as it is clear that Cera and Littlefoot had very differing interests in this situation. You could have perhaps even given them a bit more focus even if I see why you found the fighting more important. Also, I find it a bit weird that you’ve divided this scene into so many chapters as this installment, for example, was worth very little time in the movie. It’s not a bad thing necessarily but I still find it weird. Anyway, this installment was a pretty well written look into this part of the film. :)

Thank you very much :)

It really is hard to find a good balance between the fighting and the Littlefoot/Cera interaction. This current (short) addition is focussing a little more on the latter.

To be honest, I don't think you would have liked to read a 20k chapter out of nowhere :DD The scene is strongly extended from the movie, the Littlefoot/Cera interaction takes a lot of screentime and the fighting and later the struggle with the earthquake will be fleshed out in detail. Since it is all an overarching plot, I decided to split up that theoretical huge chapter into several parts.


Quote
This fight is a fine example of where the use of the written word can add more detail and elaboration on a scene than can be provided through live action.  The focus on Littlefoot's mother in this scene is a nice touch I believe as it allows us (perhaps for the last time, and most certainly for one of the last times) to sense the situation from her perspective.  The fear, concern, and growing horror from her are all quite effectively portrayed here.

I certainly have no complaints for this chapter.  :) I think that you are effectively portraying a scene that is rather difficult to get right in a written narrative.  Though, as I have mentioned before, I both dread and look forward to seeing how you portray what is about to come.

Thank you very much! :D

The perspective of his mother doesn't show at all in the movie so I had to make sure that it was shown in this story :)Sorry to leave you hanging for another 1-2 weeks but rest assured that what you dread will be happening soon :)

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*Wipes sweat*

Puh, finally caught up on my schedule. I'll try to update SDP this weekend. Also, I've got a middle-sized story in preparation for the prompt challenge this season, you'll see in 2-3 weeks :)
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Sovereign

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This chapter took the scene forward nicely, giving more spotlight to the things I mentioned in my last review. Littlefoot’s Mother’s torn attention between herself and her son and her horrifying fear are made more than clear here and one cannot help but feel the lingering hope and growing despair in this most tragic of fights. It really is rather sad to see how badly she tries to save both herself and Littlefoot while that aim is becoming more and more unrealistic…

Also, you continue to portray Cera and Littlefoot’s situation quite nicely even if I don’t see the threehorn quite retaining her arrogance to quite this degree as her terror was made clear in the film as her bravado collapsed quite quickly after the carnivore’s appearance. It’s true that the chapter was rather short this time but it was still a really decent lead into the turning point of this battle and what follows afterwards. Nicely done as always! ;)Cera




rhombus

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This was a rather short chapter that nonetheless effectively increased the tension of the scene and added to the perspective of the characters.  Here we get to see the growing horror of Littlefoot's mother as the battle progresses and she realizes that the battle will most likely be her last. At the same time she gets to see the horror of the children as they are basically forced to be bystanders to the unfolding drama.  Like Sovereign, I am a bit unsure about Cera's reaction, however, as she did seem to have a more superficial bravado in the first film.  That being said, her reactions here did not exceed the realm of possibility, it was just noticeable.

I don't really have much to add here - a short review for a short chapter  :p - but I look forward to seeing what happens next.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

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Thanks for the reviews, both of you :) I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter! :^^spike
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Ducky123

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Oh boy, I had this ready for over a month but upload fatique and lack of time do their usual, gruesome job...  :facepalm

Oh yeah, be prepared, things are getting a bit graphic from here on  :opetrie

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Part 4:

Littlefoot couldn’t believe his own eyes. The sharptooth was running so unnaturally fast after the most important, most dearest dinosaur in his life, his mother seemingly completely oblivious to the approaching danger, probably thinking she had defeated the meateater for good. Littlefoot screamed from the top of his lungs.

“MOTHER WATCH OUT!!!”

But his warning arrived too late. With strength that appeared to defy the laws of physics, Sharptooth leapt, higher, further, higher and even further, seeming as though earth was refusing to pull him back down as it usually did with all things. A wave of terror overcame the little child, the terrifying claws of the monster digging into his mother’s back as he smoothly landed on top, clinging onto her flesh with all his strength as the tall longneck desperately attempted to shake him off. Sharptooth held on. He lunged down and…

Littlefoot screamed. He screamed louder than was physically possible, so loud it made his head explode in pain, joined by Cera who screamed as well in utter terror. Pain, fright, panic… it all was overwhelming him the moment the evil monster bit down on his mother’s back, sunk his teeth deep, deeper into her body with a sickening sound… Littlefoot wanted to look away, to run away and hide… and yet he ended up staying where he was… where he would see it all happen in front of his very eyes… With a single, powerful movement of the head and neck and a ripping sound Littlefoot would never ever forget, Sharptooth dislodged an enormous piece of meat, much bigger in size than his whole body, from her back, raw and bloody, and greedily devoured it in a single gulp. As he felt his legs tremble, heard his mother howl and groan in unimaginable agony as she tried to push the sharptooth off, as he heard Cera being terribly sick next to him and as he saw the huge amount of blood spilling out from the horrendous wound, red rivers gushing down her flanks, something snapped within the boy.

“Mother…” Fear like he’d never felt it before grasped his heart tighter than the snake from his grandpa’s story. Seeing his mother in agony traumatized the little boy but he couldn’t lose himself in the moment, couldn’t lose to the despair, mustn’t. His mother was still struggling, still fighting. Somehow, she had managed to push Sharptooth off her back, retreating, though the predator didn’t let go. They came closer to their boulder and passed it; Littlefoot was certain that their cover had been blown.

“Come!” he hissed to the miserable threehorn who was still retching and sprinted out of his hideout. A horrified expression on her face, Cera gave pursuit.

*

Heavy, rattling breaths, a racing heartbeat, a surge of adrenaline. Pain, extreme pain. The adult longneck was operating in a mad, adrenaline-induced frenzy. Blood was gushing out of several severed arteries and veins, staining huge parts of her dark-blue skin crimson-red and splattering a red trail on the ground which would be easy to retrace even if she did manage to escape. She had managed to stun the attacker for a moment when she had shaken him off, however the sharptooth was terrifyingly keen on finishing the job he had started..

The longneck ran, knowing that the extreme blood loss would soon begin to show its severe effects on her strength and stamina - the terrifying wound was already affecting her agility greatly. (While possibly not fatal, the bite wouldn’t begin clotting over before long after she’d lost her conscience; and who knew if she’d ever awaken from that…) Either running or fighting was less effective now and the predator was relatively unscathed from their latest clash (as far as she could tell, that was.)

From the corner of her eyes, she saw Littlefoot and the threehorn kid emerge from their hideout. Why Littlefoot was sticking around one of their kind once again was beyond her grasp but little did it matter at that moment. It was truly too unfortunate that the kids had to witness such cruel gore unfold in front of their young eyes, spoiling their innocence, possibly forever. Too terrible also that they had been seen. The sharptooth may have been fixated on her but he must have seen or heart Littlefoot. That put the child in gruesome danger!

“Littlefoot, run ahead!” she yelled through gritted teeth and heavy panting. “As soon as you can, we must split up, I’ll distract him so you can...escape!”

*

Littlefoot’s already horrified expression rose to an even higher level as he heard his mother’s words. Obviously, he’d have to run from now on too but why away from her? Away from his beloved mother? What good would that do?

“Why do we need to separate?!” he blurted out while running alongside the bleeding adult, barely avoiding the blood splatter from hitting him.

“Just do as I say!” his mother cried in response, the panic evident in every word, intimidating Littlefoot so much that he didn’t dare disobey. Besides, as he cast his gaze ahead, all he could see was the steep ravine covered in rubble to his right and the steep mountains to his left. There was currently no way he could go that would separate him from his mother so he kept racing alongside her, Cera in tow, the sharptooth slowly catching up (apparently, the impact with the mountain did end up injuring him slightly after all)

*

More and more, Littlefoot’s mother began to feel the symptoms of blood loss, liter upon liter of the crimson liquid escaping from the gaping hole in her weakening body. She was able to keep the much slower pursuer at bay (maybe he had over exerted himself?), half-hearted swings of her tail keeping the distance between them just about even but it seemed like their escape was coming to a rapid end.

“No! The path is blocked!”

In front of them lay a large boulder directly in their path, impossible to go around. It reached halfway up to her neck in height and seemed roughly as thick as her son reached in length.

“I must break through, no matter what, I must!” If she was unable to achieve that, they would be trapped in a dead end with nowhere to run, their backs against the unforgiving wall and their fronts open to attack. No, that would seal their fate! Gritting her teeth, the longneck charged with everything she still had, hoping that the combination of her sheer mass and the built-up velocity would result in a momentum great enough to destroy the boulder. The longneck braced herself for the painful impact and…

*crack*

...with a loud racket, the hard stone dislodged and crumbled away into several smaller pieces; the path was clear! Unfortunately, it had slowed her greatly and the predator caught up. The wounded longneck was forced to engage in combat again. Littlefoot screamed in horror and worry, darting across the rubble the collapse had just created while his mother prevented the sharptooth from following him, edging backwards while dodging bites and claws. She needed more room for an attack of her own and she needed to catch the vicious beast on the attack. They were still near a deep valley, similar to the one she’d previously pushed the monster into - although this time she would not be careless enough to leave him unsupervised!

Soon, she too had left the rubble on the floor which greatly steadied her footing. Balancing her weight slowly became a challenge as a funny feeling spread through her body, every part, muscle or not, screaming for more oxygen to power her on.

“I’m losing too much blood, it’s getting rough…” It was now or never. A few minutes from now, keeping her footing might be all she’d be able to manage, the bleeding showing no sign of decelerating. Like a waterfall, it fell from her body, making the exact same sound too as it impacted the ground. If she didn’t succeed now, she wouldn’t have the strength to do anything anymore. Abruptly, Littlefoot’s mother stopped her retreat; her mind was ready.

The predator hurried to land another blow to the weakening prey but he hadn’t anticipated the counterattack, hadn’t expected that the longneck had baited him into her most terrifying weapon’s range. As the intense smell of blood  numbed his rational thinking, fury and frenzy leading his hunt, he made the terribly mistake of stepping right into the range of the longneck’s tail. With a swift movement, the female made a rapid turn, her tail now directly facing the behemoth. A swift, skilled flick of it and hunter suddenly became prey of the longneck’s incredible rage, feeling himself catapulted backwards; though this time he didn’t hit a mountain or really anything at all. He just fell. As the longneck had hoped, she had carried the meateater beyond the edge of the path they were walking, the sharptooth’s feet kicking into thin air before he landed roughly on his stomach, sliding all the way down to the bottom of the slope.

The moment of relief and joy only lasted for a split second, however. She had over exercised her muscles and her vision faded for a moment. Abruptly, her legs gave way, the now muddy ground, a dried up puddle perhaps, failing to support her anymore, her balance failing. The massive body fell with a thundering crash, accompanied by a child’s panicked scream.

*

“Mother!” Littlefoot cried in concern as his dear mother fell to the ground, groaning in pain. Fear flooded the young boy’s veins; why did she not get up again?

“Littlefoot… run away…” The boy looked at his mother in pure shock.

“I won’t leave you!!!” As the angry, faraway roars of the angry sharptooth reverberated through the landscape, Littlefoot snuggled up to his blood-smeared mother but she remained hard as stone.

“Save yourself, don’t be stupid!”

“No!!!”

“This is an order!!!” the female panted, her spirits sinking as wet tears glimmered in the boy’s eyes. “Find your grandparents, I will make sure that the sharptooth doesn’t go after you!” Littlefoot was still showing signs of indecisiveness so she added with a pledging look. “If you find them quick, they might be able to save me. Now go… please my dear Littlefoot…” A little ungentle, she pushed her son away. She simply hoped that it wasn’t the last time she’d see him although her situation was more than grim.

Littlefoot uttered a single, indignant sob before he obeyed with all reluctance he could muster and ran towards the right where, supposedly, his grandparents must be residing. Cera was following him.

*

“Thank the heavens, he listened…” The longneck seemed as if she’d aged 20 years. Her muscles ached, her bones hurt. And, ever so vividly, blood was seeping out of her. If she decided to close her eyes now and committed to her exhaustion and weakness, maybe it’d be a sleep she’d never rise from again. Although it was a slumber which she could only postpone so long before her body failed her.

The longneck rested for a few moments, slowly recovering her breath, the pain of the gaping injury on her back becoming all the more present in her relative state of relaxation, adrenaline levels sinking a little, few groans escaping her mouth. A series of angry roars alarmed her of the still lingering threat, the sharptooth had apparently regained his senses and, judging by the sounds of it, was attempting to climb back up, although the rubble on the cliff was easy to dislodge which should make the ascent a big challenge. Ironically, what the longneck needed the most right now was some more time to rest her muscles, even if her general condition continued to worsen by the minute so she was grateful for the break. Hopefully, it’d be enough to get back to her feet by the time the predator managed to climb all the way. Certainly, it was enough time to survey the situation.

“Keeps slipping… but slowly getting up… almost here…” So much blood had drained from her body that no coherent sentence was forming in her mind anymore; slowly but surely a little lake of blood was forming underneath her. Only the thought of protecting Littlefoot gave her strength in this dire situation.

*

“Mother, please be safe!”

Littlefoot was jogging along the path which more and more turned into open terrain with many rock formations littering the area. The young child’s heart was beating much faster than his level of exertion required of it; it was beating not from exhaustion but from the abyss of his worry and fear. His young mind was too fragile and innocent to fully comprehend the situation that his mother was in, but even a little stupid child like him was quite able to tell that his mother was in enormous trouble and danger. The fact that they were separated didn’t sit well with him at all.

“I have a funny feeling…” Cera suddenly spoke up, her first words since the disaster unfolded, and she wasn’t talking about the urge to vomit the very soul out of her which had haunted her ever since seeing… that. Both children came to an uncertain standstill.

“Huh, what do you mean?” Littlefoot wondered in a tired voice but he needn’t wait for an answer...

*

The epic battle was nearing the next and, quite possibly, final round. The longneck had seen it all happen and yet she had been unable to do something about it.

“Sharpteeth aren’t...aren’t supposed to be… so clever… so strong…” she lamented in painful, ragged breaths. Simply standing, just keeping her footing, her balance, it was all she could handle just as she had anticipated, fearing that her legs could give in the moment she tried to move them. The beaten predator had climbed up some distance away so she had been unable to keep him from climbing all the way. Her scheme had failed; she was unable to move or fight.

It was all over now.

The longneck’s vision was greatly reduced and she hardly felt the tormenting pain anymore. Her mind didn’t comprehend the situation correctly anymore. Maybe she could have tried to fight, maybe she could have attempted to run… and yet she simply remained rooted on the spot as the sharptooth, covered from top to bottom in scratches and bruises, slowly crept closer, still vigilant, still full of strength, still determined to kill…

“No, please no…” Powerless, she had to watch as the beast charged at her, the longneck trying to turn away and run but her legs didn’t work. She stumbled, she struggled and then… pain, a sharp sting in the back of her neck, hot blood seeping down her leathery skin where it had been severed. With a groan, in the knowledge that she wouldn’t live, Littlefoot's mother collapsed to the ground, her vision blacking out, only the fresh pain keeping her from fainting. Tearing up, she recollected the most important moments of her life as she anticipated the bite that would put an end to her existence… but, to her utter surprise, it did not come. She could not see but she could still hear to some degree. The behemoth stomped the ground in triumph, knowing that the wound he had inflicted in addition to the gruesome bite were fatal to the longneck - her lack of resistance was proof of that. He hadn’t cut the vital neck artery but the uniform and steady river of blood streaming out of the fresh cut indicated that he had severed the corresponding vein. If either of those were harmed beyond repair, it meant certain death for a longneck, only that this way the brain would still receive blood and thus the moment of death would be delayed somewhat. Since the longneck was as good as dead, that gave him a splendid chance to settle a score before he would have his hard-earned feast. Roaring, determined to repay a favor, he stomped away swiftly.

“He’s going after the kids!” The fear that came with this realization was enough to stir her fading senses and consciousness returned to her lethargic mind somewhat. Her eyes, still hardly able to see, could make out the predator going in the direction Littlefoot had run off to.

“How dare you…” The longneck knew that she didn’t have long to live but the fact that Sharptooth left her here to die slowly and painfully while attempting to finish the job he had started earlier - to hunt down Littlefoot and that threehorn… It made something inside of her snap. Much rather would she have her neck broken and her body feasted upon than for her son to die with her. Wrath emerged, wrath which was so desperate that it enabled her body once more to rise onto her weak legs. Staggering… but standing.

“This time… this time I’ll send him to hell!” With uncertain steps but a determined mind, she stomped after the behemoth. Though, she didn’t get very far before something went terribly wrong...

________________________________________________________________________________________________

I don't really have much to say about this chapter. Just let it sink and let me know what you think :)

Next up is the earthshake and then...  :sducky :(petrie :boohoo :bolt
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Sovereign

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Well yeah, this chapter didn’t really move things forward too much. The fight moves on rather naturally and especially in this installment I liked Littlefoot’s Mother’s efforts to make him get away from the fight as the realization that she’s going to die begins to sink in. Her thoughts and growing despair are really sad to read and you’ve captured her emotions pretty well. Littlefoot’s fear and his confusion are also tangible but otherwise, I don’t have much else to say either. :P It’ll be nice to see the fight end at last in the next chapter even if the aftermath will be… well, we all know.  :(petrie




Ducky123

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Thanks for your review, Sovereign  :^^spike

I'm glad that the fighting scenes and the emotional impact on both Littlefoot and his mother seemed to work well. I hope the following scenes can live up to the original movie as well :)
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rhombus

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The fight, brutal and merciless, moves on with natural efficiency towards its inevitable end. Though the last two chapters cover what is rather difficult to effectively present in written form - a battle - this has been done quite effectively thus far.  The panic and emotions of all of the participants clearly comes through in their words and dialogue, and, most importantly, the pacing of the words and scenes matches the struggle playing out in the story itself.  I don't really have much to say besides these general sentiments, but I think you have done a fine job with the battle thus far.  :)  Though, sadly, I think we all know how this battle will end.  :cry


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.


Ducky123

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Once again, some graphic descriptions of injuries and of course brutal earthquake scenes

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Part 5:

Littlefoot looked at Cera in utter surprise. He could feel it too; something was awfully wrong to the very core but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was… as if something big were about to happen, something beyond the little one’s limited comprehension. He didn’t notice at first since he was too caught up investigating this usual situation but, gradually, he became aware of it. The ground was trembling – ever so slightly, but it did. It did some more… and some more… and…

“What’s going on?!” Cera barked, looking at a few small pebbles vibrating next to her feet.

“I don’t know!” Littlefoot shouted in response, beginning to feel extremely eerie about this highly unusual event. Suddenly, he felt a push go through the very earth, momentarily unbalancing and forcing him to reinforce his footing. Now that he gave it some thought, wasn’t there something like this that the grown-ups were always afraid of? How was it called again? The next shock suddenly gave him the answer as the ground as a whole leapt forward – and this time he actually fell over. Groaning while ignoring Cera short-lived, gleeful glance (she hadn’t fallen over), he got back to his feet as the trembling slowly grew into a permanent rattle.

“I know what it is!” he yelled, already threatening to lose his footing again as the next wave rolled in. “It’s an earthshake! This might be dangerous!”

Suddenly, Cera’s eyes went wide as if she had suddenly seen Sharptooth reappear behind them but the predator was nowhere to be seen. Much rather, it seemed to Littlefoot as if Cera was beginning to realize what kind of situation that were caught into right now.

“Have you ever been in an earthshake?“ he interrogated the threehorn with growing concern in his voice. Of course his mother and grandparents had taught him how to act during an earthshake but right now none of this seemed to be present in his brain and, judging by Cera’s reaction, he supposed the threehorn might have experienced one herself while he hadn’t really witnessed anything beyond a random rumble of the ground yet.

“No, and I’d rather this one stopped right now!” Cera exclaimed with sudden panic – quite apparently she didn’t remember or know anything about earthshakes either. “What do we do?!”

“You can’t run away because it’s hitting the whole area!” Littlefoot reprimanded at once as he saw the threehorn enter a sprint only to trip as the ground shook once more in a violent fashion, knocking a few pebbles off a nearby mountain. “We should go somewhere far away from anything that could fall onto us and wait until it’s over!”

“Wh-whatever!” Cera barked angrily as she got to her feet again, greatly annoyed by the longneck giving her instructions but, she couldn’t argue that he had a point. “Either way, we should stay together for now!”

“Yes!” Littlefoot agreed. “Come on, over there!” He was about to enter a fast jog when the earth abruptly jolted without warning, as if having a massive hiccup. Cera and Littlefoot were briefly pushed into the air before landing roughly on their bellies.

“Oof,” Littlefoot groaned but he knew they couldn’t stay where they were now, surrounded on both sides by medium-sized, ragged rock formations which could break apart anytime, burying them forever. With determination, he fought his way back to his feet.

“Come on, we’ve gotta run!” he screamed at Cera who suddenly seemed beyond scared as the unpredictable pattern of the earthshake was something she couldn’t fight with her horns and her brawn.

“Run where?!” the threehorn yelled, not trying to hide anymore that she was frightened.

“Somewhere!” Littlefoot replied, hastily looking around. Further in front of them, it looked like the mountains might give way to an open area. “It’s too dangerous here, run!” Just then, the ragged top of the mountain to their left broke off, resulting in an avalanche of rock quickly crashing into the ground, just barely missing Cera who had leapt out of harm’s way just in time while uttering a loud scream. He had made his point. He was just about to start his sprint when the tremor in the ground increased three-fold and, with horror, Littlefoot noticed that the rocky floor he was standing on began to crack and crumble…

*

Littlefoot’s mother knew what was coming when she felt the weak tremor, seemingly coming from within earth itself, quickly livening up into a full-blown earthshake. It was about the last thing she needed at that moment, cursing at whatever spirits were deciding over her fate. Why now when she was about to lose the last of her blood and spirit? Why now when she had to rescue her adorable Littlefoot from certain death? It truly wasn’t fair, was it?

The earthshake became more violent quickly and she had to act. It was already apparent that this wouldn’t be a small one like those you would occasionally get caught in on your travels, no. The female could tell that this was only the beginning… and already she was about to lose her footing. Any harder than this and her balance might decide to defy her as the ground was moving in all sorts of directions, even jolting every now and then! Slowly, the rocky floor began to crack from the motion…

It was pure chaos, a very unfortunate situation to be caught in her wounded state, the forces of nature too brutal for her weak body to withstand them, however her rage kept her on her feet, kept her slowly walking the direction Littlefoot had walked… oh what if the little boy didn’t remember how to act during an earthshake? If something happened, she wouldn’t be there to rescue him and it was infuriating beyond belief! It was just another thing added to her pool of worries out of which her own likely demise was the very least…

“I have to find Littlefoot, quick! No matter what it takes, I have to!” Her efforts redoubled, she pressed on, constantly worrying about finding Littlefoot dead even more than herself falling to the ground which, whenever it would happen, would probably be the final fall… the one she wouldn’t recover from.

*

Littlefoot already hadn’t considered where to run or where they had come from but, as he felt the ground crumble away underneath his little feet, he lost his entire orientation. As panic rose quickly in his mind, he scrambled his feet to save himself from falling into the deep crack that was beginning to form just where they were standing. He really needn’t think anymore where to run as long as it was somewhere without the very ground disappearing under his toes! The two younglings ran as fast as their legs carried them, ran back the way they had come from as the carnage around them carried on. Littlefoot didn’t know that his mother had been unable to stop the predator so he didn’t expect to run into a sharptooth anymore, only focusing on surviving the earthshake, however that was a grave mistake. The roaring noise of creaking and crumbling rocks subdued the roar of fury, the ground-shaking footsteps drowning in the rattling caused by the earthshake. Littlefoot and Cera didn’t know they were in a danger much graver than they had thought until it stood right in front of them, appearing behind a corner.

Hungry, ugly and furious.

*

The chaos around her didn’t seem to show any intention of slowing down. Much rather, Littlefoot’s mother had the terrible, terrible gut feeling that it still hadn’t reached its climax. Normally, earthshakes, even those powerful enough to crack mountains and split the very land, were supposed to be intense but short-lived events which start as suddenly as they disappear. While devastating, they were usually events that didn’t linger around but this earthshake was so much different than anything she had ever seen and a lot different than any of the stories her kind was telling about them. Unlike the sudden earthshakes that she knew, this was an earthshake that grew in intensity over time, slowly but with deadly certainty. She could tell, subconsciously, by the tremor that rattled her entire body, that the current situation was merely foreplay to something much bigger, something so big that it might do a lot more than simply devastating the land. She had no way of knowing what would happen next but she knew that, whatever it was, it would likely bring her down and Littlefoot with her.

“Oh please, let me find him!!!”

Just then, as she staggered around a corner, she saw him. The sharptooth was walking some distance ahead of her, walking with odd determination and certainty in spite of the chaos surrounding the predator. While he still appeared quite at full strength and vigor, she could hardly say that about herself anymore, her legs hurting from the lack of oxygen and prolonged exertion, her conscience only preserved by her motherly instincts. Blood was still seeping out of the injuries, much slower than it used to, granted, but flowing it was, dripping onto the floor in a slow but steady flow…

*crack*

Suddenly, the ground jolted with extreme force and the ground around her completely broke apart into shells of rock as the earthshake entered an even higher stage of intensity. While parts of the area seemed to begin crumbling away into nothingness as it got utterly demolished, she felt herself being shoved skywards in a wacky, irregular pattern that was impossible to predict, almost losing her balance several times as random spurts shoved the piece of rock around without mercy while also continuous tremor made keeping her footing a challenge seemingly hopeless to master. Unfortunately, it was simply too much for the weakened and injured longneck and she fell forward, first crashing onto her knees and then collapsing with her entire body, remaining in that position as her conscience became very hasty and misty, the chaos around her hardly registering in her mind anymore…

*

“AH!”

“SHARPTOOTH!!!”

Littlefoot and Cera froze on the spot as their little hearts skipped a few beats in utter shock. The giant predator had appeared in front of them yet again, seemingly out of nowhere and without warning. Barely in time did the initial petrification wear off before they could haul themselves away from the massive maul coming down and crashing the weakened floor right where they had stood moments ago. Quickly they scrambled to their feet, running once again from the mighty sharptooth as their lives were threatened once again. The ongoing earthshake didn’t make their escape any easier; any moment it seemed as if they’d trip due to the unpredictable movements of the ground and the ragged pieces of rock and rubble lying around everywhere as the forces of nature broke and tore them apart. At the very least, it was hindering their attacker in his pursuit of them too as the predator swayed dangerously during his spurt, very close to falling himself.

But, apparently, his big feet still proved to be an advantage.

Littlefoot dared to take a look back, screaming when he realized in horror that they weren’t fast enough. Sharptooth was only one or two steps behind them, not daring to sweep down with his massive jaw just yet.

“Actually…”

Littlefoot looked back again. As a matter of fact, the Sharptooth didn’t seem to have in mind to bite their heads and tails off but rather…

“Cera, I think he’s trying to squish us under his feet!!!” the longneck yelled at the horrible realization. “We’ve gotta r-Oww!” Littlefoot almost fell when his foot hit a piece of rubble but the sheer amount of adrenaline in his blood allowed him to stabilize his body and keep his footing just barely. Quickly, while cursing, he redoubled his efforts to gain speed again but…

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

…pieces of rock where breaking into even smaller rubble as the sharptooth trampled directly behind them, so close that his shockwaves began to overpower the heavy tremor radiating from the ground.

“It’s going to stomp on us! It’s going to crush me!!! IT’S GOING TO KILL US!!!” he cried in extreme fear, knowing of only one thing that could save him now.

“MOTHER!!!!!!!!”

*

Her world was black, terribly loud and extremely painful. Every inch of her body hurt and screamed after oxygene and she had never felt weaker, never felt as ready to give up and sink into a peaceful slumber…

Eventually…

She must have passed out for a few moments, the details slowly returning to her as she tried to make sense of everything. She was mortally injured, in the middle of a cataclystic earthshake (apparently, the rock wasn’t pushing any further skywards but it shook more violent as ever) and Littlefoot… wait, where had he gone? Her brain didn’t want to cooperate with her, wanted to shut down under the severe lack of blood and oxygen. Just trying to remember stuff threatened her to black out once again as her conscience wavered like a treestar in the breeze during fall season. Realizing that, the longneck attempted to focus on only staying awake and not losing her conscience but she was so utterly powerless against the dwindling amount of blood in her body, utterly powerless against her fate of being a goner. Some part of her mind was aware of her condition, one part didn’t even seem to register anything anymore and another part seemed strangely content with how things were standing for her. She was on the precipice of death and yet… and yet it seemed like there was something left to do…

“MOTHER!!!”

A voice suddenly shook her out of her slowly developing slumber, a voice screaming in panic and terror… a voice so strangely familiar… but whose voice was it? Was death itself already calling for her? But death would surely address her by her correct name and not…

“Littlefoot…” she murmured in a slur, even her lips felt too weak to move and her eye-lids just wouldn’t open. “He is calling for me but… where is he? What does he want?”

*roar*

Coinciding with another increase of tremor and strength of the earthshake, the roar of the sharptooth brought her back to her senses and, immediately, she was fully aware once more.

“Littlefoot… I must save him!!!” But how to save your son from a sharptooth when remaining conscious was already a task she was barely capable of performing?

“I’ve…… gotta…… TRY!!!” Suddenly, she began to feel strength again, began to regain the senses in her limbs which had gradually gone numb.

“Must…… save…… LITTLEFOOT!!!” It took a ridiculous amount of strength and pure willpower just to heave her enormous weight back onto her trembling feet, the earthshake unbalancing her several times before she finally stood on her four legs again.

And she knew exactly what she had left to do before she could leave this world of pain…

*

“NO!!!” Littlefoot was scared to death. He wasn’t ready to die, not yet. He hadn’t seen the Great Valley yet, hadn’t made any friends yet – he simply couldn’t die here! His panic was keeping his legs moving, keeping his heart beating, more furious than the sharptooth on his heels, keeping his muscles just barely from breaking under the extreme strain. Littlefoot had never run so fast in his short live. It hurt, hurt so bad that he wanted to give up but he couldn’t give up, not when the evil beast behind him desired his demise so greedily. It could have bitten his tail off or use the terrifying claws to swipe at him and rip his skin open just like his mother’s but its aim wasn’t to eat him. He reckoned that Sharptooth didn’t consider something so small like him a worthy dinner when it could simply eat his mother. No… Sharptooth wanted revenge for the eye he injured earlier…

*crash*

The massive foot came down inches behind him, cracking the ground underneath his toes. The longneck staggered, Cera staggered too, still running alongside him. Littlefoot saw a shadow appear. He looked up and saw the base of Sharptooth’s foot approaching from above.

“It’s over…” Littlefoot knew it. He didn’t want to look to know that the clawed foot was directly above him; he didn’t have to peek to know that he was a dead longneck, crushed to smithereens and all bones broken under its weight. However, he hadn’t made his analysis while taking into account the unpredictability of the ongoing cataclysm around him which was almost entirely indifferent to him now. Dangerous as it may be, the earthshake had saved his life just then when a sudden wave went through the ground, stripping hunter and prey alike off their balance. The precise aim of the sharptooth was spoiled when his foot adjusted instinctually to the new situation, breaking a likely fall and coming down a little to Littlefoot’s right. The floor broke apart; Littlefoot found himself in the air as the ground crumbled away and, suddenly, he felt the warm sensation of another dinosaur’s body underneath his paws.

He was clinging onto the foot of a sharptooth! Scary as it may be, Littlefoot almost couldn’t believe his luck and, to his surprise, he shared this questionable fate with Cera who was also clinging to one of its toes as if her life depended on it. An incredible force was on a full rampage now as even a predator as large as that evil sharptooth fought with all its strength to keep footing. The land had turned into what felt like a raging river and they were merely leaves on its surface. For several moments the sharptooth was too busy with the cataclystic events to pay them any attention but, after a few moments, it began to take notice of them clinging to his foot. Growling, he focused his greedy eyes on their tender features, opening his mouth and displaying a long row of deadly teeth. Littlefoot was about to scream when…

*crack*

Without warning, the ground rose by several feet and split open right in front of them, hot steam emerging from the developing crack and engulfing the predator while Littlefoot and Cera remained unscathed. Roaring in pain, Sharptooth reared back as they continued to be shoved skywards by the forces of nature.

“It’s distracted, run!” Cera suddenly hissed and Littlefoot couldn’t argue with that. While Sharptooth was, in a way, protecting them from the worst effects of that earthshake, he was also going to eat them anytime when he got the chance. Staying where they were wasn’t smart at all so Littlefoot ran, fleeing from the developing crack. The earthshake still hadn’t reached its climax, not even remotely. Rapidly, it grew more violent and orientating oneself was impossible as everything around them was being destroyed, the ground shaking so much that not even focusing one’s eyes was possible. A sickening feeling emerged in Littlefoot’s guts when he realized that the land itself was moving under his very feet! He could swear that Cera and him had been sprinting downhill a moment ago but now it was going uphill again, steeper… and steeper!

*crack*

“What’s going on!?” Littlefoot panicked. The slope was growing steeper at an alarming rate as the piece of land they were standing on was tilting towards the crack behind them which was growing into a broad ravine quickly. He felt a sickening force shoving him skywards, further and further as they were slowly getting detached from the main body of land, tilting and tilting…

Suddenly, he slipped as the slope grew too extreme to keep footing.

“Oh no!!!” Cera screamed as she, too, lost her footing, somersaulting all the way down along with him. They had completely forgotten about the sharptooth at this point but the sharptooth hadn’t forgotten about them! Albeit struggling with the forces of nature, those evil eyes were fixated upon them as they slid towards the abyss. Screaming, Littlefoot and Cera saw the gaping mouth approaching fast but a sudden push of the land, increasing the amount of tilting even more, caused the predator to fall flat on its face, the two children sliding against its chest. Angrily, Sharptooth rose again, snarling. Littlefoot and Cera had tried to regain footing but, even as they ran up the rock, the edge was growing closer and closer. Sharptooth was ahead of them now, trying desperately not to slip again but the angle was simply too steep. Suddenly, the massive body of the sharptooth came sliding down towards the children, threatening to slap them right across the edge into a looming chasm that had grown extremely wide already and still expanding by the second. If they fell into that chasm, they were practically dead. Making a spontaneous decision, he clung onto the tail of the predator, barely managing to take a grip, noticing with pleasure that Cera had had the same idea, however they were falling. Sharptooth was falling. His tiny arms were clinging to the edge of the land tilting towards the center of the abyss, unable to pull himself back up.

“There’s only one chance!” Littlefoot deduced quickly as that Sharptooth wouldn’t ever be able to climb back up with arms like this. Gritting his teeth, he climbed up the massive tail, climbed across the back, the neck and the head, feeling a sudden urge to kick the monster where it hurt but subduing it immediately for such an action would hold no meaning if he died as a result. Cera was right behind him and together they hopped back onto the land, ignoring pebbles rolling and falling towards them and running upwards, running as the sharptooth snapped his mouth angrily at them. They quickly began to slip again; the land seemed about to break apart entirely as it swayed dangerously and no matter how hard they writhed and struggled, the mouth of the sharptooth was coming closer… and closer… they were about to be swallowed, about to get their tails bitten off as the violent monster snapped at them. He could feel and smell the stinky breath, having stopped to count long ago how many times he had already pictured himself getting eaten and dying on this terrible day. Would this be the moment his luck ran out? Would the combined efforts of nature and predator finally put an end to his life?

*

Littlefoot’s mother hadn’t thought she’d be able to run in her critical state but panic and a good amount of desperate determination and stress were all it took to defy the laws of physics and biology. She must have lost more than half of her blood at this point which left her with barely enough to provide a minimum of oxygen and nutrients to keep her going and insufficient to supply her with enough to exercise like this. Her blood pressure should run dangerously low at this point but her sheer willpower was enough to redistribute her blood flow and prioritize her legs and brain, abandoning most of her inner organs in the process. It was a state that could be upheld temporarily but not for very long, also increasing the bleeding from her severed neck vein quite notably. Certainly, if she lost much more than that, her situation wouldn’t be agreeable with life anymore as her blood pressure would sink too low to provide her brain with any oxygen.
Considering that both of her wounds were too grave to stop bleeding without aid, it was a matter of time and no willpower would be able to prevent the inevitable. Littlefoot’s mother kept her head low as she ran, knowing that bloodflow was easier that way and it helped keeping her conscious even if any serious thought didn’t make much sense to her anymore.  The level of oxygen in her muscles plummeted quickly and a burning pain indicated that her nutrients were burned without oxygen, a state that could work for a few moments but the adult felt her strength diminish quickly. She had to find Littlefoot quick for her fuel on her quest to rescue him was already running low again!

She followed the sounds of the sharptooth and the occasional screams of the children (at least they were still alive!), all the while dodging boulders and ignoring the movements of the earthshake as if in a trance. Soon, she was able to spot them on a crumbling piece of land slowly leaning into a gigantic ravine that was widening in front of her very eyes! The land was literally being ripped apart and moving in a different direction than the other end of it, a sight so bizarre that it caught her attention for a short moment before another scream of Littlefoot’s reminded her forcefully of the task at hand. The sharptooth was clinging onto the cliff and the children were on top of him!

“I have to hurry!” Ignoring her screaming muscles, the longneck entered a full sprint…

*

Littlefoot and Cera pushed their little legs on, trying to compensate the sliding but it was a futile attempt. Soon, with another jolt of the earth, the angle grew by a few more degrees. It was simply impossible now; Littlefoot slid down towards the gaping mouth expecting him readily, a gaping hole full of more sharp teeth than he could count… and only one of them could kill him instantly, ending his life forever. He was utterly powerless, crying as gravity pulled him closer to the sharptooth, closer to the abyss, closer to his demise…

*WHAM*

Suddenly, something ridiculously big swooshed past him, missing him by mere inches and smacking the sharptooth straight into the face. As if in slow motion, Littlefoot could see the massive dinosaur fall into the ravine, screeching as it realized that it was falling to its demise, roaring as it realized that its revenge had been spoiled, only to realize that he, too, had slipped past the edge, feeling only air under his feet.

And then he fell. He fell like a rock, kicking his legs desperately but a longneck couldn’t walk on sheer air. He was about to accept his fate when his fall came to an abrupt halt as something warm grabbed his body as well as Cera’s, feeling himself being lifted almost gently back up. Littlefoot suddenly realized who had come to his rescue as his eyes followed the sharptooth somersaulting into a bottomless, gaping abyss he had barely escaped himself. Quickly, they were both placed on a piece of rock that was still connected to the continent, albeit shaking unpredictably. Only now, Littlefoot noticed in what kind of shape his mother was. With her entire body covered in crimson blood, she looked like a figure from a scary nightmare and, with horror, he took notice of a new wound on her neck which was spilling a significant amount of blood all over her body, dripping down her legs and flowing from her abdomen in a lively stream as his mother, not so gently this time, shoved him away from the growing crack that split the lands. The tall longneck looked unnaturally pale around her face and was gasping for air as if she was drowning in fast water. As he followed his mother, he tried to comprehend just how much blood a longneck must have had considering how much he’d seen oozing and spilling out of his mother already but surely there had to be a limit.

“Mother is losing too much blood!” Of course the little boy was unaware of its exact function but even he could tell that losing it all couldn’t be good. The massive wound on her back seemed to run dry ever so slowly but the new cut on her neck was oozing out a steady amount of dark crimson fluid and there was no sign of the blood flow drying anytime soon.

The boy had no time to address his worries though. The earthshake had been going on for several minutes now which was unusual in itself but the true cataclysm hadn’t even begun yet. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Cera branching off from him as she spotted what he assumed to be her family. He could hardly care about her right now so he brushed her aside, all his concern dedicated to his dear mother when she was so badly injured.

Not now when the earthshake could kill them any second…

If only Littlefoot hadn’t uttered the thought. Abruptly, hell broke loose; Littlefoot was being tossed from his feet, a terrible noise filling the air that seemed to originate below their feet, mixing with the screams of other nearby dinosaurs. The ground was moving like water on a lake during a heavy storm, throwing him into the air each time a wave was passing by. Littlefoot tried to get up but he was immediately thrown to the ground again, completely at nature’s mercy, crouching down in a protective pose and trying to endure it without injury. His eyes were following his mother who was somehow managing to keep her footing, retreating slowly from his position, not noticing that he had fallen, unable to follow her. Littlefoot tried to yell but he was thrown to and fro and the sheer noise drowned his small voice entirely. Panicking, his gaze went back to where the crack was forming where he could spot Cera trying to cross it at a spot where a land bridge still stood but just as Cera prepared to jump to the other side, a giant jolt ripped the land apart an she was barely able to break her sprint before falling, turning around with a scream of panic and running away. Suddenly, the seismic wave reached his position too and he felt himself tossed high into the air before landing rather ungently on the floor which was covered by all sorts of rubble and, to a lesser extent, his mother’s blood. By the time he was able to look again, large pieces of land were collapsing into the abyss and everything around him seemed to be breaking apart if it hadn’t already. Rhythmically, the crack was expanding and widening, the side he was one appearing to be sinking while the opposite side was shoved skywards. He could see two longnecks standing on the edge, looking around in panic but they were too far away to say for sure if he had just seen his grandparents or not. Distinctly, he could make out a terrified voice screaming Cera’s name – probably her father, but all of that mattered little to Littlefoot since he had to catch up to his mother! Though, if anything, the earthshake was just getting stronger and stronger and his body seriously started to hurt from all the pushing around that it was exposed to, somersaulting several times as the next wave came rolling in and landing ungently on the back of his neck.

Soon, his mother was out of sight. Panicking, Littlefoot tried even harder to get back to his feet but it seemed impossible for such a small child like him…

“Mother, waiiiiiiiiit!!!” he screamed, repeating his plead several times but his voice couldn’t live up to the tumult around him. He was at the verge of crying from the pain, the worry, despair and sheer horrors of the day.

Suddenly, the land moved so much that Littlefoot was sent flying through the air several meters before face-planting hard in a pile of rubble.

“Ow…” he moaned as he sported some light cuts and scratches that were bleeding a little but it was laughably small in comparison from what he had seen gushing out of his mother earlier, even if taking into account their vast size difference. As he tried to roll over to take a more comfortable position, Littlefoot suddenly noticed how quiet it had gotten and the ground was barely trembling for a change.

“Is it over?” Littlefoot puzzled. The ground wasn’t moving around much anymore at least. In the distance, he could hear Cera call for her father, receiving a prompt response, however it sounded like her father was trapped on the other side of the large ravine splitting the land in two. Anxiously, he craned his neck to see the amount of destruction with his own eyes and almost failed to breathe when he realized just how large it had grown. The height difference between the two sides was at least a hundred meters and it was probably at least twice as broad though hard to tell from his position since he was a stone’s throw away. And Littlefoot didn’t even want to fathom just how deep it must be. Every structure in the area was either collapsed or broken apart and the floor was completely turned into rubble and pebbles as it had cracked entirely due to the extreme movements at display.

As Littlefoot took in his immediate surroundings, a sudden thought came to his mind.
“We’ve been walking next to that mountain cliff all the time and it doesn’t look like it’s collapsed…” His gaze drifted to his right, looking up. Yes, it was still there, however it looked very unstable, as if it was about to…

*crack*

“Oh, no…” Littlefoot’s heart sunk when part of the top part suddenly crumbled and broke off, causing an avalanche of rocks, some of them much larger than him, falling right towards his position!

“AHHHHHH!!!” A scream escaped his mouth and it took a short moment before his legs, petrified in fear, were able to move. Quickly, the little longneck rammed his legs into the ground to gain speed but he slipped on the rubble and fell.

“NOOOOOO!!!” He panicked, he screamed, scrambled to his feet and tried again. He didn’t fall this time. He ran, ran fast…

*crash*

A boulder about the size of an adult threehorn landed next to him as he was caught in a barrel of rocks that came in all shapes and sizes.

*thud*

A groan escaped his mouth as a mid-sized boulder hit his head. The boy staggered as his vision blacked out. Unable to move his legs, Littlefoot crashed into the rubble and knew no more.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Wow, it's been 6 months since the last update...  :opetrie

Well, I'm not sure if everything works here but I've tried to write my own version of the terrifying earthquake scene without using the script or any other sources as a reference. My only reference is the movie. A lot of things are awfully rushed in that scene if you ask me and it's hard to understand what actually happens and how they get from A to B so I gave it a try to write a more coherent line of action and also explain how the heck Littlefoot and his mother got separated after being seen running away together! So yeah, mother was in a semi-conscious state due to bloodloss and Littlefoot got knocked out  :opetrie

Let me know what you think. I hope that the next chapter won't be released in April but I'm focussing on SDP and RTTLOM at least until the end of November so it probably won't be before December, just a heads up :)

Also, even though it's been 6 months, thank you for your review, rhombus  :^^spike






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Sovereign

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It seems like the battle against the sharptooth is finally reaching its conclusion and again, you managed to make it extremely intense. The characters’ horror and despair has been apparent from the start of this struggle and it is both nice and sad to see it finally come to an end, considering what is coming next.

Littlefoot and Cera’s arguments about the best way to proceed were presented quite solidly and that makes their early relationship that much more established. Their inability to
move forward is very disheartening to see but one cannot expect more from children of their age. I also really liked how you portrayed Littlefoot’s mother here as it was simultaneously terrible to see her slowly dying and still be forced to join the struggle. It tells something about her courage and love that she didn’t give up even at the door of death. And in the end, she was successful which was a final testament to her character.

Even then, the length of this fight has bothered me somewhat. Of course the updates haven’t been that frequent but spending over a year on this battle seems a bit much and indeed, you wrote many, many chapters about it. While you truly did a good work, it still seems like an overkill in terms of the fic’s pacing thus far. Anyway, the content of the next chapters is quite clear and I’m sure it will be far from fun to read.




Ducky123

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Ah yeah, you're right. The fight is taking well over a year at this point. Consistency has never been my strength I'm afraid :(

Thank you very much for the kind words about the portrayal of Littlefoot's mother as well as the Cera/Littlefoot relationship. It's really encouraging that I was able to portray them well :)

It is my intention to go a little beyond what the movie showed. The fight against sharptooth was way too short in the movie (cough, cut scenes) and I'm always afraid to rush fight scenes so, in case of doubt, I'd rather make them a little longer and detailed (not the Naruto kind of long of course lol)
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rhombus

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My apologies for the delay in getting this review up.  Late October and November have been overloaded in terms of work-related duties on my end.

It is quite nice to see the continuation of this story, even if what is happening to the characters is heartbreaking to see.  Littlefoot's mother is fighting against the inevitable at this point in order to give her child a fighting chance, but we all know how her fate is going to turn out.  Her slow decline as death begins to take hold is heartbreaking to see even as her courage is truly inspiring at the same time.  As for the dialogue between Cera and Littlefoot, I think that it quite fits the events of the film and their mentalities at this point.  And you have generally succeeded in keeping the pacing within each chapter consistent, while also including cliff-hangers (like in this chapter) or other hooks to clearly tie each chapter to the next.

As for what Sovereign mentioned about pacing in general, I do have to agree. I have found that having one very long chapter depicting a battle can work (or even 2-3 chapters if a big battle has multiple clear-cut acts to it) but one must be careful that a battle does not slow the pacing of a story too much. But with real-life concerns taking up one's time sometimes such careful pacing is simply not possible.  Overall, however, I do not think the pacing detracts much from the story, especially as the in-chapter pacing is working out well.

I look forward to seeing what happens next.  :)


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Menders Tale.