The Gang of Five
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PAST-O-RAMA

vonboy · 174 · 35570

Mama's Girl

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Well, I finished season two as well. I know others have said this, but I really do think you're hitting you stride in writing this and it went better in season two. Not that the first season was bad, but between the further info on the professor as well as interesting side plots that are touching and funny, I found myself really enjoying it.

Nice to see the gang both realizing and saying what the Professor has come to mean to them, as well as, of course, getting to find out more of who the Professor is and what brought him there.

I also enjoyed the just sort of side stories, but believable ones, on the tinysaurus having to hide from Chomper and such and, as well as further info on Cutter and these mean brothers of his.

and yeah I can see how the Professor getting more acceptance from the group than Pterano does would not sit well (banishing after finding out he's a meat eater aside), but at least it eventually came.

I also liked the finale and seeing even more of these humans associated with the Professo, as well as bringing in some tension with and developing the Rainbow Faces whole plot point.

Although you could make a point for changed geography, I sort of like the place still holding reminders of the Great Valley.

Well, so much as happened I don't even have a clue what you have planned for the next season plotwise :) but I look forward to it when you do return to this.


vonboy

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Thanks for your reviews, Mama's Girl :)

Writing season 3 has been taking a LONG time so far. I've also gotten behind on my movie script story, and I'd still like to finish that before starting the new season. I'll just say that season 3 probably won't be coming till the summer.

I'm planning on having 20 episodes this season. Whenever I get closer to being ready, I'll post the titles of all of them, so people can start thinking about what's coming up. :)

Thanks everyone who's been keeping up with my little fanfiction. I didn't think I'd get this far when I started, but I'm glad I'm still working on it. It's tons of fun.
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Mama's Girl

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Yeah, I understand how that goes, with time and all. No worries, take as long as you need and I'll read either this or your other story when you get updates up. :)


vonboy

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Okay, an update.

As you know, about a month ago, my computer melted, and I lost some of my writing work. I'm just deciding to leave my computer alone. (I;m done with tryign to fix that piece of scrap metal! :anger ) I'm gonna just re-write whatever I had done at that point, and keep working on my writing.

I've also been re-wroking season 1 of Past-O-Rama, and working on that movie script. I think I'll put that one on hold for a bit, as I don't really feel like writing it right now.

I still don't have a date that I'll start season 3. (Though, Still trying for the summer) I'm gonna go ahead an put that title's of all 20 episodes I'll have this season.

Episode 31 - Not Without my Eggs Part 1
Episode 32 - Not Without my Eggs Part 2
Episode 33 - Veal and Friends
Episode 34 - Always the same Ham
Episode 35 - The Good, The Bad, and the Just Plain Mad
Episode 36 - Invasion of the Little Biters
Episode 37 - Indecision 100.000.012 B.C.
Episode 38 - Sweet Dreams
Episode 39 - Where No Gang has Gone Before Part 1
Episode 40 - Where No Gang has Gone Before Part 2
Episode 41 - Valley of the Dead
Episode 42 - By the Skin of my Teeth!
Episode 43 - Find... That... Stone!
Episode 44 - Bones!
Episode 45 - Live Like Your Dying
Episode 46 - Anthology of Interest
Episode 47 - The Future that Chomps Behind Part 1
Episode 48 - The Future that Chomps Behind Part 2
Episode 49 - The Future that Chomps Behind Part 3
Episode 50 - The Future that Chomps Behind Part 4

I'll just try this. Every member can pick ONE of these episodes, and I'll write a synoptsis for it, so you know more about it. So, pick somethin' already! :p

Edit: Fixed a million and two typos.
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


brekclub85

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Episode 33 has caught my interest! :-)

BTW, my 11,00th post!


trulyfantasticme

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I'd like to know about Valley of the PINGA-i mean Dead.  :lol

What? You KNOW I can't resist that stuff!  :lol
Petra is a variant of the Greek name "Petros" meaning "strong" or "rock." Andi is a variant of the Greek name "Andy" meaning "masculine" or "brave." Therefore, I am tremendously brave and strong! :lol


vonboy

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Sorry for being so late on this guys. I"ve said why in that other thread, so I"ll just get right to business here.

Quote
Episode 33 has caught my interest! :-)

In that one, Chomper's going back to see his parents, do to an unfortunate event. The Gang will learn about the Sharptooth Code, and also, Chomper's gonna get missed up in another group of young sharpteeth, one that has a weird obsession. :lol

Quote
I'd like to know about Valley of the PINGA-i mean Dead. :lol

The Gang decide to dig up some dirt on Mr. Thicknose; literally. After hearing a shocking story about the aged creature, they set out to a place called the "Valley of the Dead" to see if they can find out anything about his past.

I'll do more little previews, if anyone asks for them.

I would like to start this up before the end of May, but no promises on that front. I'm thinking a once a week timescale going for Mayish to Octoberish. I'll get back to you later when I get it better sorted out.
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Jrd89

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I'd like to know more about the episode "Sweet Dreams" Vonboy.  ;)  It has a nice, friendly-sounding title to it. I'm curious.


The Chronicler

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That two-parter in the middle (episodes 39 & 40) seems interesting to me. I wonder what that one will be about.

"I have a right to collect anything I want. It's just junk anyway."
- Berix

My first fanfiction: Quest for the Energy Stones
My unfinished and canceled second fanfiction: Quest for the Mask of Life
My currently ongoing fanfiction series: LEGO Equestria Girls



vonboy

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Alright, I'm gonna start posting these episodes up next Friday, the 8th. If I go at 1 episode a week, I should be putting the last episode up on October 19th.

The First episode is a two parter, where Ozzy and Strut make another egg visit to the Great Valley. The Gang isn't around that night (They're still busy with something from season 2 :DD), so someone else has to take up the task.

Sorry for taking so Long Chronicler, but here's a description for you.

I'll tell you right off the bat that the rainbowfaces aren't involved in this, if you were hoping for that. After a trip on the Professor's new ship goes horribly wrong, the Gang, and another gang, get marooned on a strange island, with an even stranger resident.

I'll see you all next week. :DD
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Mama's Girl

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Well, I've been keeping quiet on which episode I was curious about myself, but through your explinations some things are cleared up a bit ;) and sound like they will be great. Can't wait to read your whole series and no worries on the pause, you've hooked me too well to let up reading now no matter how long it takes :D

So, yay for Fri update! But I won't harass you with PMs if it's late either ;)


vonboy

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Episode 31 - Not Without my Eggs!

The egg puns are as eggcruciating as ever!

Scene: The Great Valley, at the Great Meeting Circle. It's the middle of the night

The dinosaurs are all gathered around the Great Circle. The noises of murmurings and arguing can be heard. Bron takes a step up in front of the group.

Bron: "Quiet! Quiet down everyone!"

Mr. Threehorn: "Humpth! What's it this time?"

Bron: "It would appear Mr. Thicknose has something to tell us."

Mrs. Swimmer: "Really? What?

Mr. Thicknose walks up to the front of the congregation.

Mr. Thicknose: "Something truly... strange has just happened!"

Mr. Threehorn: "Is this gonna be another silly little hatchling story?"

Bron: "Topsy! I said quiet down!"

Mr.Threehorn: "Humpth!"

Bron: (Sighs) "Sorry about that. Just tell us what's going on.

Mr. Thicknose: "Well, haven't you noticed? Some of our young ones are missing again!"

Bron: "Yeah, the same ones."

Mr. Thicknose: "But Bron, one of them if your son!"

Mr. Threehorn: "He's getting them in trouble all the time! Why, I should give that little crazyneck a piece of my..."

Bron: "Put a foot in it, Threehorn!"

Mr. Thicknose: "Come on, we have to do something!"

Bron: "I'm not TOO concerned over that yet, since they do it all the time anyway."

Mr. Thicknose: Listen to yourself, Bron. You've gone mad!"

Bron: "Who's gone mad? If we got in a hustle every other night when that same group of kids runs off somewhere, we'd all lose our minds! Let's just wait till tomorrow, and if they're still not back ,we'll do something then."

Mr. Thicknose: "You might need to be a little more concerned this time, though."

Bron: "Why is that?"

Mr. Thicknose: "Because I saw them just disappear out of thin air!"

Most of the adults gasp.

Mrs. Flyer: "How?"

Mr. Thicknose: "I'm really not sure. They were with that old Professor, and those two rainbowface fellows. A bright light appeared, and they simply vanished!"

Mr. Threehorn: "Oh, come on! What a load of domehead wash!"

Mr. Thicknose: "No, it really happened! I saw it with my own eyes!"

Mr. Threehorn: "You really expect us to believe that?"

Mr. Thicknose: "Well..."

Some Spiketail: "That's a really tall tail you got there, big guy!"

Everyone breaks out laughing.

Mr. Threehorn: "You're always seeing things, old creature!"

Hyp's Father: "I sure hope you haven't been telling the kids this stuff. No wonder they're off somewhere! Remind me to never have Hyp speak to you again, oaky?

Bron: "Oh, Sorry for wasting your time, everyone. Let's just head back to our nests."

The group starts to break up. Grandma Longneck walks up to Mr. Thicknose, who is holding his head down low to the ground, and not even looking up at the old longneck.

Mr. Thocknose: "But...But I know I saw it happen. I know what I saw. You have to believe me, right? ...Grandma?"

She stands there, staring at the poor soul, (Long, drawn out sigh).

Grandma Longneck: "Please get some sleep tonight, Mr. Thicknose. I know you haven't been getting enough lately, and it would really help. That's my only advice for you."

The old thicknose simply stands there, as the longneck leaves.

The camera zooms out, and pans over to the edge of the valley, where the flyer nest resides. A pair of eggstealers are struggling to get down the sheer cliff. It's Ozzy and Strut, each with a egg in tow. Strut sticks his foot in Ozzy's face.

Ozzy: "Watch where you're putting that thing!"

Strut: "I'm sorry, Ozzy. Just so excited, is all!"

Ozzy: "Of course you are! I'm eggcited too! Just look at this haul!"

Strut: "We really did it this time, didn't we?"

Ozzy: "We? I did all the work, you just chomped on some leafs the whole time, you overgrown weedeater!

Strut: "But Ozzy!"

Ozzy: "Don't but Ozzy me! And all that chewing might've woke up the whole valley. Didn't you think of that!

Strut: "It was just a little snack."

Ozzy: "Well, cut out on the snacks till we're in the clear, all right?

The pair make it to the bottom, and start running off. A teenage spiketail walks up to the base of the cliff

Ridge: "Harper? Are you there?"

A young flyer peeps out of a bush, with some berries in her tiny claws.

Harper: "Oh, hey Ridge! Can't sleep, either?

Ridge: "Well, yeah. The whole valley looks like they're up tonight."

Harper: (Sighs.) Yes, I know. I just wonder where my mother's been."

Ridge: "She's probably just off at that meeting.

Harper: "Oh, right. It's been kinda lonely over here today."

Ridge: "All your siblings are off with Pterano too, aren't they?"

Harper: "Not Petrie, he said he didn't have time, which is... strange, you know. Hey, have you seen my brother around, either?"

Ridge: "Nope, but you know what? I haven't seen any of em. The...Gang, I mean."

Harper: "You think they're all off somewhere again?"

Ridge: "Well, that must be what the grownup's little meeting is about, right?"

Harper: "Hmm... Maybe."

Ridge: "Heh, not maybe. Definately!

Mrs. Flyer flies overhead, towards the family nest.

Ridge: "Hey, here comes your mom, Harper!"

Harper:  "Hmm, she seems kind of... uneasy about something. You think I should ask about what's going on, or would that be too..."

Ridge: "Imposing?"

Harper: " ...Yeah."

Ridge: "Harper, you wanna find out about something, speak up about it! Stop with all of these mind games and reading people's faces!"

Harper: "oh, alright."

The little flyer takes off after her mother, but at a leasurly pace. (Mrs. Flyer screams). Harper instantly darts off towards the nest, next to her mother's side.

Harper: "Mommy! What is it?"

Mrs. Flyer just stands there.

Harper: "Mom, what's wrong!?"

Mrs. Flyer: "H...Harper?

Harper: "Mom, what happened?"

Mrs. Flyer: "Nothing. it was nothing."

Harper: "Nothing?"

Mrs. Flyer: "Well, nothing you should be worried about."

Harper: "But..."

Mrs. Flyer: "Please. This doesn't concern you. Just head off to bed. It's late, way past your bed time, and you need the rest."

Harper: "Oh...Okay."

The little creature nuzzles her mother.

Harper: "Well, goodnight, mommy."

Mrs. Flyer: "Goodnight, angel. I've gotta go and take care of some things. Okay, sweetie?"

Harper: "You mean, I'm sleeping here alone tonight!?"

Mrs. Flyer: "You're a big girl now, you can handle it, right?"

Harper: "I...guess so."

Mrs. Flyer looks really preoccupied. She suddenly takes off, calling back to Harper:"

Mrs.: "Be a big girl, and look after the nest for me."

Harper: "I will, mother."

She turns around, pacing around the nest fora few seconds, before ridge calls her again.

Ridge: "Harper! Get down here!"

Harper takes off from the nest, and quickly darts down the cliff side in the dark of the night.

Harper: "Ridge? What is it?"

Ridge: "I just saw something you don't see everyday around here."

Harper: "What? Sharpteeth?"

Ridge: "Naw, we already have one of those, remember?"

Harper: "Oh, yeah."

Ridge: "I'm talking about eggstealers!"

Harper: (gasps.) "Eggstealers?"

Ridge: " And they've got someone's eggs!"

Harper: "That's horrible!"

Ridge: "Whose eggs are they, anyway?"

Harper: "That doesn't matter. what does matter is that they're in danger right now!"

The little flyer puts her tiny claw on her cheek, deep in thought.

Ridge: "Harper: "What's going on up there?"

Harper: "Just go with me here. Petrie and his friends aren't here right now, are they?"

Ridge: "I already said that!"

Harper: "Well, they're just the kind of dinosaurs to go after eggstealers like that, but since they aren't around..."

Ridge: "Harper, I hope your not saying..."

Harper: "That's right, we have to stop them!"

--------------------------------------<Commercial break>----------------------------------

Scene: Some woods in the Great Valley.

Strut sneaks out from behind a tree, and starts looking around.

Ozzy: "Is the coast clear?"

Strut: "I think so, Ozzy"

Ozzy walks out from behind the same tree, holding the eggs.

Ozzy: "We may finally be in the clear this time, little brother!"

The eggstealer looks on at the two eggs.

Ozzy: "Ah, it won't be long, my little eggs. Won't be long at all. Soon you'll be tucked away, safe in my tummy!"

The eggstealer paces around for a bit.

Ozzy: "Still, it's odd that we haven't seen that annoying little band of kids. They always made me so eggsausted. You remember those weed whackers, Strut?"

He waits for a reply, but never hears one.

Ozzy: "Strut? Where are you?"

He sees a shaking bush in the distance. The eggstealer sneaks up on the bush.

Ozzy: "STRUT!"

The younger eggstealer suddenly jumps out of the bush, choking on a bunch of leaves.

Ozzy: "What the tail are you doing!?"

Strut: (Gags) "Ch...chocking..."(Loud cough)

Ozzy: "If you weren't sucking up that slop all the time, you wouldn't have this problem!"

Strut: "But Ozzy, I'm so hungry!"

Ozzy: "That's what I got you this egg for."

Strut: "Well then, why can't I have it?"

Ozzy: "Hmm?"

Strut: "Ozzy, why can't we just eat the eggs now? Why do we have to run away with them first?"

Ozzy: "Well..."

Harper: "Hey!"

Ozzy: "What was that?"

Ridge, being about as big as an eggstealer, charges forward, knocking Ozzy over. The eggs in his claws land gently on the ground.

Harper: "Oh, I hope he's okay."

Ridge: "Thanks, I've been working on my moves lately."

Harper jumps off of the spiketail's back, and walks up to the two eggs, trying to pick them up.

Strut runs up to his brother, concerned and worried.

Strut: "Are you all right, Ozzy?"

Ozzy: "The eggs! The eggs!"

Strut: "....Oh"

The eggstealer runs over to the two eggs, and grabs them. Harper's still holding onto them, and get's dragged along as well.

Harper: "Ahh!"

Ridge: "Harper!"

Ozzy jumps up from the ground, shoving past Ridge, who's not paying attention, and rushes after his brother.

Ridge: "Oof!"

The spiketail takes off after everyone else.

Ozzy catches up with Strut.

Strut: "Good to see you're alright!"

Ozzy: "Just shut it, and give me the eggs!"

Strut: "Oh, okay."

Strut chunks the eggs eggs back to his brother. Harper's still holding on.

Harper: "Ahh!"

Ridge: "I'm coming, Harper!"

Ozzy: "Hey, get off my eggs, leaf gobbler!"

Ozzy shakes the two eggs, knocking Harper loose. She can't orientate herself in time, and crashes to the ground.

Ridge: "Harper!"

The teenager stops at the little flyer. He scoops her up under his snout, and takes off again after the eggstealers.

Ridge: "Are you okay?"

Harper: "Yeah, I think I'm okay, but ooh, that mean little eggstealer!"

Ridge: "what do we do?"

Harper:: "I don't know, you expect me to know!?"

Ridge: "I'm sorry, Ridge."

Harper: "No, I'm sorry. I'm just so excited, and I've never done something like this before."

Ridge: "It's okay. Let's just keep going!"

Scene: The Longneck Nest.

Grandma Longneck is laying down. Bron walks up to her.

Bron: "You think Mr. Thicknose is okay?"

Grandma Longneck: "Some dinosaurs just end up that way when their old. It's nothing new."

Bron: "Well, you think his time is coming soon?"

Grandma Longneck: "Oh, he doesn't seem bad in that way. His body's still holding up, even though he's so old."

Bron: "Still, I am worried about that old creature. I wonder what he's been through. Why is he so... senile?"

Scene: The Great Valley. Close to the Hidden Valley entrance.

Harper: "Where did they go?"

Ridge: "I don't know. We must have lost them. Wow, they're so fast, aren't they?"

Harper: "Maybe if I get a higher look, I'll see them."

The flyer takes to the skies.

Ridge: "You see anything?"

Her eyes dart back and forth, covering a huge expanse of land. Suddenly, something catches her eye.

Harper: "I think I see something!"

Ridge: "Great, just lead the way!"

--------------------------------------<Commercial break>----------------------------------

The camera shows Ridge ans Harper, before panning over to the eggstealer bros.

Ozzy: "Have we got em off our tails yet?"

Strut: "Uh, I think so, Ozzy."

Ozzy: "Good then. I swear, that pair's almost as annoying as those other leafeaters!"

Strut: "Can we stop for a snack yet?"

Ozzy: "I said no more greenfood!"

Strut: "No, I mean the eggs!"

Ozzy: "Oh, yes. My marvelous, eggcelent little eggs!"

The pair stops.

Ozzy: "Oh, you won't believe how long I've waited for this, little egg!"

Strut looks on, wierded out.

Ozzy: "Here's it comes!"

Ozzy brings the egg up to his mouth, before Harper flies in, flapping in his face, and getting in the way.

Harper: "Oh no you don't!"

Ridge come charging in again.

Ozzy: "Come on, Strut, let's get out of here!"

Scene: A grassy field in the Great Valley.

A bright light appears, and the Professor's ship comes careening out of it, with the Gang, the Professor, and the rainbowfaces in tow.. (Everyone screams)

Mr. Thicknose is wondering around, unable to sleep.

Mr. Thicknose: "Is everyone right? Am I just seeing things? Do I really just need some sleep?"

Suddenly, the craft crashes into the ground, causing the ground to rumble. It skids along the surface for a short distance, before coming to a rest right in front of the old dinosaur. The thicknose stares at the sight for a few seconds, then turns around to his nest.

Mr. Thicknose: "It's all in you're head. You're just seeing things, Mr. Thicknose. None of it is real, you're just seeing things."

The ship's hatch opens up. The two rainbowfaces climb out first.

Male Rainbowface: (Sarcastically) "Well, that was a fun little joyride."

Cera: "Humpth! Tell me about it!"

Female Rainbowface: "I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing!"

Professor: "Did I? Hmm, I think I meant that little model airplane I played with when I was just a young fart."

Cera: "No, it wasn't! I saw you playing with that stupid little thing a few days ago!"

Professor: "Oh, right, hehehe!"

Littlefoot: "Well, at least we all made it through this."

Scene: The Hidden Canyon, close to the Mysterious Beyond entrance.

Ridge: "Harper! We have to turn back!"

Harper: "Not now, we have almost got them!"

Ridge: "Please. I don't wanna go back out there!"

Harper: "But we have to save those eggs!"

Ridge: "Why?"

Harper: "Because... I think those eggs... are my mother's!"

Ridge: "What? How?"

Harper: "I don't know, but how she was acting earlier... it must be!"

Camera switches over to the eggstealers.

Strut: "Ozzy, let's just leave the eggs."

Ozzy: "Are you mad, or has all those weeds gone to your head? We can't just leave these eggs be!"

Strut: "But Ozzy! They're gaining on us!"

Ozzy: "I don't wanna hear it!

Camera Switches back to the chasers.

Ridge: "Your gonna get us killed!"

Ozzy: "I said shut up!"

Strut: "We won't make it!"

Harper: "There's no turning back!

Ridge amd Strut: "We'll never make it!"

Harper and Ozzy: "Not without my eggs!"

TO BE CONTINUED

(Ridge and Harper are Mama's Girls's OC's. Thanks for letting me use them for this! :) )
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)


Mama's Girl

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Quote
(Ridge and Harper are Mama's Girls's OC's. Thanks for letting me use them for this!  )

Oh not a problem, I'm flattered you wanted to use them :)

I did notice some typos though that just look like over sight. When you first have Ridge walk up to the flyer's nest, I think part of your sentence didn't make it in

Quote
A young
Harper: "Where did my brother go?"

And you mixed names once

Quote
Ridge: "I'm sorry, Ridge."

I enjoyed reading what you wanted to use Harper and Ridge for :DD

Whether or not I think every little thing was IC, that's part of what letting you borrow them and guess is about.

The situation is so what would happen, of course. Harper wanting to defend little eggs. Though I'm intrigued and curious on the question you had Ridge bring up, her mother's eggs? How...

LOL

I guess the same question could be argued for Ducky's mom having all those hatchlings too, and no doubt your second part will answer whether Harper's just mistaken or an explanation is needed.

Loved it and looking forward to what you do in part 2 :)


Mumbling

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This wonderful piece of work has been submitted to the fanfiction awards 2012. If you're reading this fanfiction, please cast your vote and review here!


Chomper98

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This is so good, I hope you continue it.


Chomper98

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:D Can you tell me the synopsis of the future that chomps behind, please?


StrutEggStealer

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Glad to see Ozzy and Strut make an appearance^^ This is going on really well, please keep writing!
"Not all who wander are lost"
J. R. R. Tolkein


vonboy

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I still don't have part two ready, but I'll at least give Chomper98 his synopsis of The Future that Chomps Behind.

One day, Chomper wakes up to not find Ruby by his side. He finds he's with his parents back on their Island. Chomper does some investigating, and finds his whole world has changed. Together with a reluctant Professor, and a longneck friend who doesn't seem himself, Chomper goes on an epic quest through time to find out what is going on... but nothing can prepare him for what he discovers!
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
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Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
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(Runner-Up)


Dosu2Dinner

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OK, here's my review of the first chapter.

It's interesting so far. I'm curious to see as why the professor has come to the Great Valley, and what it will entail for Littlefoot and the others. One point that confuses me however, is why Littlefoot refers to his grandfather as 'Grandpa Longneck,' as supposed to simply, 'Grandpa.'

But anyway, great work! The script style is interesting too.


somerandomfangirl

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Episode 1

Hooray! Finally I can get started! So, I'll get straight to it, shall I?

First off, the first few lines with the narrator made me laugh quite a lot. I'm pretty sure I've said this to you before, but I very rarely read something that makes me laugh, so good job with that. :yes

Oh noes, I want to hug Littlefoot right now. Although the scary sleep story thing does portray Littlefoot finding it hard to move on well. And don't worry, I don't hate you for making Grandpa die before this starts, and Bron coming to the Great Valley to live is a nice idea, and yes! Shorty! I love the little guy. :DD

I loved the introduction of the professor too, although I agree with Pangaea, it did seem a little bit rushed. But, all in all, a really good start!

I did notice a fair few typos and grammar errors here and there. I'll just name a few:

Quote
An asteroid fly's by.
I believe that should be "flies" there.

Quote
Grangma Longneck:
Small typo here.

Quote
Mr. Threeohrn sees that human and runs up to the group.
I think some letters got mixed up there. :lol

No worries, though. I write some stuff sometimes and I don't spot mistakes until the 10th time I've read it through! It's really good so far! Keep it up! I'll try and post more reviews when I can. :yes


"Some things you see with your eyes. Others, you see with your heart." :MomCompassion