Simple Home Remedies (Funny)

action9000 · **on:** December 09, 2007, 01:17:06 AM

- If you're choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto!! The blockage will instantly remove itself

- Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the food while you chop

- Avoid arguements with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink instead

- A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the "snooze" button

- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough

- You only need two tools in life - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

- If you can't fix it with a hammer, it's an electrical problem

Kor · **Reply #1 on:** December 09, 2007, 03:17:36 AM

Funny, thanks for sharing.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #2 on:** May 12, 2009, 10:26:33 PM

I so have to breathe life into this topic again. I was just about to begin a similar topic when I recalled reading this before I became a member

. Mousetrap, eh? I outta put one on my alarm clock

. I keep it on the other side of my bedroom and STILL hit the snooze and crawl back in the sack

:. Anyhoo, let's add to the list of tips to keep the human race alive, shall we?

*If you're not domesticated or are just too lazy to iron and need wrinkle-free clothes for work or whatever, pull up a chair by the dryer and keep vigil over the timer.

*If the contents of your pot or pan catch on fire, chuck the whole thing through the window. Remember to open the window first!

*If your lawnmower won't start and there's gas in it, give it a swift kick and call it a (insert profanity), and this may get it going. If not, save yourself the stress holding anger imposes on your organs and just take a sledgehammer to it already.

Anyone else have tips to add? Action9000's are priceless

!

Amaranthine · **Reply #3 on:** May 13, 2009, 01:17:54 AM

Oh gawd, these are funny!

Hrm...I don't have anything to add at the moment.

I'll think of something though. *thinks*

action9000 · **Reply #4 on:** May 13, 2009, 01:47:07 AM

Sadly I don't have any more..but I'll see what I can come up with off the top of my head.

Let's see....

The kids are tired of your cooking and want to eat out, but you're worried about keeping within your budget. Just keep these two points in mind:
1) what are the odds the home-cooked meal won't get burned?
and
2) if the odds aren't in your favour, it's cheaper to eat out than replace the fire extinguisher.

Cancerian Tiger · **Reply #5 on:** May 13, 2009, 10:53:48 AM

If you're going to a meeting and have a feeling you'll fall asleep, take a generous amount of Beano in advance. You'll never nod off for fear of letting one slip.