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Author Topic: The legacy of the Lone Dinosaur  (Read 320 times)

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Ducky123

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The legacy of the Lone Dinosaur
« on: June 16, 2018, 04:53:50 pm »
The Great Valley hadn't always been that amazing community between all sorts of species coexisting and working together in harmony. Long long ago, there was a time where the valley was quite different from how it was now. Granted, it was just as much of a paradise back then but it was every herd for itself. Each herd solved things their own way and stuck to themselves. Dinosaurs coexisted in relative peace that was founded on mutual ignorance. However, that was about to change when a dramatic catastrophy struck the Valley many many years ago...

*

Panicked screams filled the air as dinosaurs of all sort of kinds tried to flee. Roars filled with rage echoed across the valley. A sharptooth was raging in their beautiful valley but that wasn't the worst. It wasn't just any sharptooth but a particularly large and merciless one, killing any dinosaur that got too close. Panic and desperation spread through the whole valley, no herd daring to take on the humongous beast, everyone old and young running for their lives.

The sharptooth was raging without an end in sight and more and more fell to the restless fury. All hope seemed lost. Would they have to abandon their paradise now that the predator claimed it for itself?

Suddenly, a tall longneck rushed in, a stranger nobody had ever seen in these lands. He entered in a mad sprint, catching the beast off guard as he rammed it, skidding to a halt. What followed was an epic battle noone had ever seen anything like. Longneck and sharptooth preyed upon each other as they circled each other, exchanging occasional blows but they were absolutely evenly matched as opponents.

The battle raged on for hours, neither being able to land a critical hit, the longneck still unscathed, manifestation of his strength, vigor and skill. That wasn't until the predator suddenly saw an opening in the longneck's defense, rushing in, claws raised, striking its opponent all across face and neck, just barely missing the eye. Blood gushed out of the injury though that was hardly a scratch on such a humongous dinosaur. Momentarily, the brave longneck seemed to falter, the sharptooth losing his guard, believing to have achieved a victory here when he pushed the longneck to the ground. However, he had forgotten one tiny detail.

The longneck was an expert at using his tail to do the most impossible deeds. Like a snake, the flexible and strong tail laced up around its leg, tripping the sharptooth with a slight push towards the nearby cliff. The predator made an unfortunate landing which sent it closer and closer to the edge until, with a terrified roar, it fell down hundreds of meters to its doom.

Celebrations and cheers erupted among the onlookers but the longneck had disappeared as fast as it had entered the fight so recklessly.

For the days and weeks to come, this mysterious longneck who had bested the terrifying sharptooth was the main topic of talk, even dinosaurs of different kinds occasionally engaging in discussions. It seemed like life was slowly returning back to normal except for the selected few who had been unlucky to lose a loved one during the incident. However, that wasn’t quite true.

One day, when most dinosaurs were minding their own business without much of a thought as usual, suddenly an earthshake struck the valley. It was a tremendous earthshake, downing trees and displacing a lot of rock, causing widespread destruction, however, that wasn’t the full extent of the events that day. Just when the earthshake seemed to be over, suddenly, in a remote area of the valley closer to the outskirts, a crack opened up, hot, steaming rock shooting skywards. Soon, it reached several hundreds of meters in height and the shape of the rock was an exact copy of the brave longneck who had defended them so bravely.

Within moments, the news spread and by the time the Bright Circle prepared to set behind the horizon, almost every inhabitant of the legendary valley had gathered at the site. The appearance of this rock, clearly, was a sign, a message and a warning. Most residents understood.

When the Bright Circle rose the next day, it rose over a very different Great Valley. It rose over a Valley where herds started working together, standing up to themselves and thinking of themselves and their home before anything else, supporting each other and paying their respects to the brave longneck who had saved their beautiful home that day.

It was from this day on, that the Valley grew a reputation that spread to the edges of the Mysterious Beyond; it was from this day on that sharpteeth stopped invading the valley altogether for there was nothing to gain against a new, unified valley.

~~~~~~

This is my entry for the May prompt which I just spontaneously came up with :P It's short but I felt like that short retelling of the events we see in the sixth movie meets the prompt perfectly, doesn't it?  :idea

Hope you like it  :)
Note to self: finally create that signature lazy bum! :P

DiddyKF1

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Re: The legacy of the Lone Dinosaur
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2018, 10:18:22 am »
I like this perspective of the story of the Lone Dinosaur. It may have been short, but it's told in such a way that I can imagine one generation of dinosaurs passing it on to the next, so their children could understand the circumstances surrounding the battle and the importance of the valley staying together, like it was in the Gang's time. This was a nice read to wake up to! :)
My fanfics:
Love is an Adventure
Waters Rise, Illness Flies
A Swim of Silence
A Swimmer's Sad Secret
A Swimmer's Sad Secret
A Broken Family
The Hurting of Desire
Secret Love

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices." -Albus Dumbledore


Sovereign

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Re: The legacy of the Lone Dinosaur
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2018, 10:59:08 am »
While the idea of retelling this story is a decent one, the length and the type of storytelling bothered me somewhat. The descriptions worked largely and the scenes (especially the attack scene) were crafted quite well but the sub 1k length made it quite difficult for me to get really drawn into this fic. It was nice to see you participate in the May prompt and I quite enjoyed this brief read but even then, it may not be one of the most impactful short stories from you. :p

rhombus

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Re: The legacy of the Lone Dinosaur
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2018, 10:35:21 pm »
Though this entry was quite short, and may lack the impact of a longer story, I think it works rather well as the telling of a tale in the folk tale style.  One could easily imagine a story-speaker giving the story of the Lone Dinosaur in this manner, with an emphasis on the construed meaning of the events depicted.  Though this style of delivery does make me wonder if there are other versions of the tale that might present the events in a different manner.  For example there is Threehorn Peak, and I can only imagine that threehorns might present one of their own in the role of the Lone Dinosaur. :p


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

Ducky123

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Re: The legacy of the Lone Dinosaur
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2018, 12:10:11 pm »
Thanks for the reviews guys!

Yeah, it was pretty short (800 words to be exact). I had this idea in mind but I didn't really want to retell the whole story in great detail, being already a day late when I started and having written a good 5-7k on Sucky the previous day + proofreading. So yeah, I decided to go for a simple, short narrative.

I wouldn't label this story as particularly exciting or good myself but I found the thought behind it decent enough to warrant writing it at least :yes