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Author Topic: Mender's Tale  (Read 4545 times)

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rhombus

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #80 on: June 11, 2019, 04:43:15 PM »
Thanks for the reviews, everyone!

Anagnos: Indeed, the valley is having the classic argument between isolationism and interventionism. This debate, already complicated in our time due to multiple instances in history where either option would have been preferable to the other, is further complicated by the role of the pack. They are both heroes for their past actions and accomplices to the killers of some of the valley's own. In the end the valley's decision of neutrality is probably better than some of the other options.

As for the slower pace that was noticed by me as well. Though this chapter and the last one were slower-paced, I do hope that everyone enjoys the payoff for this deliberate slow development in the chapters to come. With so many factions and character arcs to arrange in an organic way, a slower pace from time to time is the price that is often paid.

Thank you for your recent reviews and kind words. (: I hope that you enjoy the latest installment.

Sovereign: You are quite right in your suspicions about the last chapter being the calm before the storm. Although this new chapter did not really have much action in terms of battles and such, I think it is kind of obvious that the new events here will directly lead to the unleashing of new hostilities. The events in the valley during the last chapter is kind of an echo of what happened here, though with an opposite effect. The valley and the fastbiters, due to their differing mindsets and ways of life, were almost equally unanimous for opposite decisions.

I am also pleased that you liked the Datum-Orchid conversation. I had intended for Datum to be a bit different than his father in terms of his manner of preventing cultural contamination. Despite the younger rainbowface being a bit more loose with what he reveals through his words, he is actually a bit more strict in keeping some of their important secrets confidential. Only time will tell, however, as the generations go on if the rainbowface line will be able to prevent future instances of "cultural contamination". That being said, new cultural contamination will not be a thing in this story. So you don't need to worry about Datum showing people how to make bows and arrows or anything like that. :p

Thank you for the kind words and the in-depth review. (: I hope that you enjoy the final act as it slowly develops over the months and (considering the slow update schedule) years to come.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #81 on: June 11, 2019, 04:45:53 PM »
Chapter 29: The New Alliance

The meeting of the fastbiters enters full swing as old allies meet in the shadow of the looming war. Though some have already experienced the terrors of battle, for others the war provides opportunities for earning a pack name and reputation.  All the while the packs must confront what this war may do to them and their leaders.

Anagnos

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #82 on: June 12, 2019, 03:32:33 AM »
I’d say that this chapter would be very fitting to the phrase, the calm before the storm. We witness the meeting between the fastbiter packs, their plan to engage Wrok and get some payback while at it for all the horrible things done to them. Personally, what I liked the most about this chapter was the gathering of different fastbiter packs as we have yet to see something quite like this. It was rather interesting to explore all the different dynamics of these packs in this way. I’d imagine that even if a majority (if not even all of them) highly respect Seeker and even maybe fear him little for the strict reputation he and his pack have achieved not only with Red Claw and Calin’s demises and the circumstances that led to those particular deaths, but with their recent actions as well over the years. I’m certainly not saying that they cannot be hospitable when the situation calls for such action. We have to remember that in a world like this you have to always be on your guard. Even when in presence of supposed allies.

Things in the Mysterious Beyond are seemingly escalating into a more of a critical direction every day and I doubt that Wrok will be satisfied with what he has already claimed as his own. Then of course we have Questor too, while he is not the biggest threat (at least yet) I do not see him staying on the sidelines for long anymore. I belive that the previous chapter gave clear implications that whatever he is planning currently will no doubt cause more pain and misery to everyone who have chosen to join this fight. I could see that the fastbiters and hidden runners would make a temporary alliance with each other to fight their common foe. And Wrok would more than likely create even more likely enemies with his assaults against others.

The approaching battle will determine who lives and who dies. Naturally, not everyone is going to survive the coming ordeal, so it only reinforces that everyone must do their very best in order to survive and fight another day. One battle isn’t going to mean the end of the, dare I say, war. But the first battle will set the groundwork for the future engagements.

This was a very interesting chapter indeed. As I have said previously, good things are worth waiting for and I believe I am not the only one when I say that no matter how long it might take for the next chapter to be finished, the outcome will no doubt be outstanding. I hope this review actually made sense, because I like to go in-depth with my input as much as I possibly can. I will be looking forward for the following chapters very much so. Once again, nicely done! :)

Sovereign

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #83 on: June 13, 2019, 03:16:28 PM »
Yep, it’s quite clear this story has moved into its next phase as the time for confrontation is quickly approaching. I was rather taken aback by the swift jump into this part as I hadn’t expected things to escalate this quickly even if it shouldn’t have been surprising after the latest events. This chapter laid a quite nice tone for what is to come even if it itself was quite heavy on dialogue and it mostly set the stage for what’s to come which isn’t a bad idea for the first chapter of an act.

In many ways, we saw many of the former plotlines come together here and it’s quite nice to see the characters finally reunite with each other before those momentous events. The dialogue itself worked very nicely here and it’s clear that the characters are ready to united behind one cause. Even then, I couldn’t help but smile a little at the thought of Littlefoot acting as the leader of united sharptooth packs. Now there’s a sight we don’t see every day. And it seems that some of his new followers realize the absurdity of it as well by reminding each other of his old name. :p

It was great to see the characters prepare for the inevitable in their own ways and the calm before the storm, as Anagnos put it, hangs heavily upon our protagonists. I just hope all of them, especially Littlefoot, are up to the challenge as there will be many decisive events in the sight soon enough. I must say that this chapter felt a bit long for the relatively few events in it but it’s of course clear that there is need for a proper buildup for the next installments.

Even then, I’m sure there will be many surprises on the way as it’s highly doubtful that there will be one or two battles and that’s that. I’ll look forward to seeing what will happen after those skirmishes as it’s more than clear Wrok and Questor won’t be helpless before this assault. Overall, this was a good opening for the new act. :smile

rhombus

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #84 on: August 06, 2019, 08:01:17 PM »
@Anagnos  You are quite right about your thoughts on the last chapter. Though the storm might not have struck yet in the form of a battle, the rainbowfaces have now been ambushed and skirmishes are breaking out at the site of the coming battle. All the while each faction is pursuing its own interests without a full appreciation of the larger picture. Thus we are left with a situation where the path to hell is paved in good intentions. Rest assured that the action will continue in the next chapter. (:

@Sovereign Thank you for the detailed review as always. I have already addressed some of what was said in Anagnos's review, but I will confirm that this act is going to be quite a bit more involved than a few battles. In fact it is looking like there might be another 16 or so chapters coming in this mammoth act. I just hope that it will not take us 3 years to finish it all. :p

As for the slowness of the previous chapter, that was partially by design. There are numerous side characters that needed to be named and characterized and the events of the previous chapter provided a convenient opportunity to do so. The general slow down also provided a nice opportunity to reset the pace going into the coming cataclysm. The beginning elements of which are being presented at the end of this chapter.

rhombus

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #85 on: August 06, 2019, 08:01:27 PM »
Chapter 30: Hidden Skirmishes

The storm clouds finally begin to crack with the deafening reports of thunder. As Seeker's makeshift army travels to distant lands, the hidden runners and the denizens of the Mysterious Beyond await with excitement and concern for the coming escalation in the bloody conflict. All the while, schemes are at work behind the scenes. Though such hidden skirmishes may yet be unseen they will have repercussions all the same.

Anagnos

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #86 on: August 07, 2019, 11:23:53 AM »
You definitely weren’t lying when you said that this chapter would feature some of that sweet action that was missing from the previous chapters and it is quite nice to get into this kind of environment once again. In fact, I’d wager that is what this tale needs to become even greater. Now you could call me hungry for violence or such, but I generally enjoy those kind of stories better. Not saying that there’s anything wrong with one or two chapters of non-violence. That is actually a rather good idea to give the reader a bit of respite before diving deeper into the world of action and violence.

What can I say about this chapter? On one hand it seemed that the plot was moving pretty slowly forward, but on the other hand, we end the chapter like how you always seem to do. Cliffhanger. Now, I’ve got nothing against cliffhangers, as they make the story more interesting to read next time, in my opinion at least. But a continuous streak of them can sometimes hurt the story far more than give profit. Despite that, I think it worked perfectly here and I really don’t have any major complaints about it, so you don’t have to worry that it’s getting dull or something like that.

I can say one thing about Chronos and Logos’ new predicament, though. This outcome wasn’t exactly what I had in mind initially when Questor begun his schemes, but I guess this is just another lesson about to always expect the unexpected to happen at any given time. I don’t think their stay with Questor will be a kind one, as the hidden runner in question seems to be planning something very malicious that could potentially even hurt everyone in some way or another. If he knew just how important and smart the rainbowfaces really are, the consequences would be very catastrophic.

All in all, very decent chapter from you, and concerning about the review question, I would personally be okay with either option. Whatever works best for you. Love to see what you’ll come up next time! :PAli

Sovereign

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Re: Mender's Tale
« Reply #87 on: August 08, 2019, 03:08:59 PM »
There were some very interesting developments in this chapter. While the ending has obviously the most widespread implications, the previous scenes were highly interesting as well. All of the plotlines were advanced nicely and it’s also clearly there will be lots of actions in the chapters to come.

I’ve really liked Penol’s journey and her part here was quite intriguing too. The way you described the mating rituals was at the same time quite funny as well as illuminating on her current circumstances. It’s good to see that she’s having more acquittances within her new herd even if her situation seems very threatening even now. It’s also great to see her start thinking about her own life and which path she wants to take. Even if her current plans seems set in stone, it’s quite clear her deeds will be highly impactful in the not so distant future.

Petrie and Ignis’ conversation signaled that things will get serious soon. It seems like the flyer surprised her with his news of a swift assault upon Wrok even if the course of action for both of them was clear for a long time. Even then, a major battle is upon both of them, at least if the last scene doesn’t change everything. At the same time, it looks like things are turning into ever more dangerous direction in the Valley as well.

About the ending, the thought of the rainbowfaces serving Questor is a terrible one and it’s almost clear that this will change everything in the grand scheme of things. Even if the rainbowfaces manage to avoid revealing everything to him, it’s clear they’ll provide him with some new techniques or strategies that will give him the decisive advantage in any confrontation. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if he made his move while Wrok and his enemies are fighting each other…

As I said, this seems like a real gamechanger. Even Wrok may soon find that he stands no chance against his elusive rival and even if it might be a stretch to suspect that he’s ally with the Pack and their allies, it’s likely that Questor will be at least as threatening a villain as he is. Nice job with this chapter as always! :DD