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rhombus

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« on: September 01, 2017, 09:28:49 am »
Voting will begin for the fanfiction awards upon the conclusion of the RPG Gamer tie-breaker vote, which will be at midnight September 11, 2017.  At that time this topic will be opened for voting.  Voting will last from September 11 at midnight to November 1 at midnight.  However, to allow people to begin reading and preparing their reviews (as there are A LOT of stories to go through this year), I will go ahead and list the stories that are available for review.

If you wish to vote in private, please send me a PM with your votes. Otherwise, please post your votes in this topic.

This is the voting section for the fanfiction awards only. All fanfictions that have been submitted by your fellow members for voting are listed below. Please only post on this topic to submit your vote, do not ask questions or have discussions here. For questions, please click here and comment on the rules.

You may vote on as many fanfictions as you'd like, but you must have read them first. Please show us in your review that you've truly read the fanfiction.

Please copy the following form to vote:

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Name of fanfiction: NAME HERE
Rating: #/10
Review: REVIEW HERE

The following fanfictions have been submitted for you to vote on:


Name of fanfiction: The Eighth Hunter
Short summary: Seven Hunters continuity / A forced wish twists a human's life around, and he finds himself not only altered but in a whole new world now. Or rather, an old world. Torn between two lives, even the legendary pack around Seeker (Littlefoot) unable to ease his concerns, this new hunter sets out on a mission. A mission that should have immense consequences, change the future of all.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...0#entry22085171
Author(s): JulianR94
Any other comment: Knowledge of the "Seven Hunters" series is recommended, though not 100% required. This is a mature story. No overly graphical depictions, but a down-to-earth and realistic approach and cuss words at places will be used. Discretion is advised.

Name of fanfiction: PAST-O-RAMA
Short summary: In the first chapter that I've writtien since the literal Land Before Time, a tragedy let's the gang learn about the Sharptooth Code. It ain't pretty.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=9377.0
Author(s): vonboy
Any other comment: Here is the actual chapter I'm submitting, but the first link is for anyone who hasn't gotten to read the rest of this fanfiction yet, or who just need a refresher.

Name of fanfiction: This is Growing Up
Short summary: Even in the land of dinosaurs, nothing stays the same. Littlefoot and his friends start to feel the effects of 'The Time of the Great Change'. As they struggle to cope with the signs of coming adulthood, certain feelings start to come to the surface, some that break the laws of nature itself. And the Great Valley will never quite be the same.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15766
Author(s): The Wasp
Any other comment: Work in progress

Name of fanfiction: A Wish Granted: Tears of a Sharptooth
Short summary: Do we truly know our friends unless we walk in their footsteps? What happens when Littlefoot and the gang are forced into a life that threatens to eliminate their sanity, and yet must walk in until they know what it means to be what they fear? A riveting tale full of adventure, danger, heartbreak, and friendship.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15872
Author(s): The Wasp and Rhombus (Rhombus is not in the running for this story, however, as I have exceeded the five story limit for myself)
Any other comment: Work in progress

Name of fanfiction: Guido's Day Out
Short summary: Guido heads out for a relaxing day of flying that doesn't go quite as planned.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=16080
Author(s): DarkWolf91
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: The Flyers Who Never Stop Flying
Short summary: When tragedy strikes sometimes the only ones that we can turn to are our friends. But sometimes we have to be reminded that we are not alone.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15398.0
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: Fateful Meetings
Short summary: "Where does one draw the line in the sand? Often times good and bad are seen as mutually exclusive. But the gray clouds often blur those differences until one day you find yourself unable to tell whether or not you've stayed above the abyss, or already gone over it. And then it's too late." Response for the winner of the Jaunary 2017 Gang of Five prompt challenge.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15421.0
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: Tiny Biters
Short summary: Parenting is always an adventure. But it is especially so when you are a young couple raising triplets in the mysterious beyond. Follow Cera (Stern Claw) and Taunt as they struggle with the challenges that come with raising a young family. A stand-alone story from The Seven Hunters continuity - Response to the March 2017 Gang of Five prompt challenge.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15470.0
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Short summary: Based upon a roleplay with Historian1912 and set in the Seven Hunters continuity. Mender has the reputation as being the best healer in the Mysterious Beyond, helping all who require it, but that was not always the case. Follow Mender as she recalls how a lowly fastbiter eventually found her place in life once she met a most unusual pack. This is Mender's Tale.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15413
Author(s): Rhombus and Historian1912
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: The one in which Redclaw gets laid, Petrie grows up, and Tria faints (or: Noisy two-footers, unfriendly fastbiters, and some other things that aren't as scary, maybe, depending on how you feel about premature adulthood, sharptooth courtship, arcane flyer religions, incompetent parents, a two-footer named Ysa, and seven dinosaurs that aren't ready for the talk - a short story)
Short summary: See title. A crack fic for the June/July Gang of Five Prompt challenge
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15689.0
Author(s): Rhombus and Fyn16
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: To Tread Upon Fields Afar
Short summary: Two Amargasaurus siblings find themselves caught up in a journey they never planned to make when they find out their father, thought to have been lost long ago, may still be alive, in a place long thought to be a myth: the Great Valley. Along the way they meet new friends, discover new perils, and come to the realization that their real purpose is far greater than either ever imagined
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15651
Author(s): Fyn16
Any other comment: Considerable additional content and revisions from last year's entry.

Name of fanfiction: Guardian
Short summary: Sometimes the most courageous of us all are those whose deeds go forever unsung, forgotten by all but a select few. Our story begins in a cove, nestled on the farthest edge of the Mysterious Beyond; a save haven for some, home for another, and a place where even the most unlikely of friendships can bloom...
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15875
Author(s): Fyn16
Any other comment: response to the GoF's ongoing fanfiction prompt challenge

Name of fanfiction: One Star Above
Short summary: A short, holiday-themed tale. When disaster strikes a traveling herd. two very different children are forced to work together to overcome their troubles, in a story of compassion, friendship, and family.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15751
Author(s): Fyn16
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: Strength
Short summary: In the wake of a disaster, Littlefoot and Cera both come under consideration for a leadership role within the Great Valley. However, when the elders finally make their decision, Cera is devastated to learn that not everyone is accepting of their choice as she and her friends are.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=16124
Author(s): Fyn16
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: Separate Ways
Short summary: An unfortunate misunderstanding sets forth a long chain of events, initiating a desperate search and finally leading to a conclusion no one had would have wanted to happen. What follows is an adventure that leads to many wondrous journeys and fearful nightmares that leave no one unchanged.  Follow Ruby and Petrie as they struggle against all the odds to survive the Separate Ways.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15940
Author: Sovereign
Any other comment: In progress

Name of fanfiction: The Freezing Night
Short summary: At the beginning of a new Cold Time, sickness creeps into the Great Valley and brings a long-dreaded tragedy with it. At the dark of the night, a life fades and the the Valley will never be the same again. Her friends are left with the monumental task of finding the comfort in their friend's words and trying to accept the unacceptable.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=15917&hl=
Author: Sovereign
Any other comment: Complete

Name: Not a Monster
Short Summary: A spin off of The Seven Hunters. Ducky has taken her first kill but how will she overcome the final transition from a caring Swimmer to meat eating Sharptooth?
Link to fanfiction on GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15908
Author: The Lone Dragon
Any other comment: This story is completed and has undergone some large editing since it was first posted in response to feedback.

Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past
Short summary: Roughly based on the events of LBT 10, this is a story that tries to explore Shorty's mysterious past as he meets new and old friends and fiends in the oasis where many Longnecks had wandered to, following their sleepstories, waiting for an mysterious event to occur. What happened in Shorty's early childhood? Why did he turn into the jerk he often is? And how are these past events going to influence his life at present and in the future? Read the story to find out wink.gif Romance and violence and also many funny scenes included.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=13136
Author(s) : Ducky123
Any other comment: in-progress

Name of fanfiction: TLBT fanfiction series
Short summary: A novellization of the first movie, aiming at improving the movie as seen on tv by adding some scenes I deem worthy of that honour, working confirmed cut scenes into the story and trying to find a more realistical timeframe for the whole movie than what is currently considered canon by most people, all the while trying to stay as true to the original as I can :)
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=15690
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: in-progress

Name of fanfiction: Ali's Return
Short summary: This is a short story based on the TV series episode The Brave Longneck Scheme. I was unsatisfied with the way the writers wrote Ali's character for the episode.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=15999&hl=
Author(s): Littlefoot fan 1990
Any other comment: I decided that Ali's personality was out of character and retconned it to how she was in Journey Through the Mists, after she began to trust other species.

Name of fanfiction: PTSD
Short summary: This is a story featuring the after effects of Topsy's actions of the fire in the Great Valley and how he deals with it. I always wondered how Topsy's mental state was after what had happened in The Time of the Great Giving.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=15844&hl=
Author(s): Littlefoot fan 1990
Any other comment: This is a revised version, so, you'll have to scroll down the page since I can't delete old posts.

Name of fanfiction: One Tough Decision
Short summary: This is about Littlefoot's thoughts after making the decision to stay in the Great Valley with his grandparents and friends instead of going with his father.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF:http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...topic=16024&hl=
Author(s): Littlefoot fan 1990
Any other comment: I always wondered how Littlefoot felt upon deciding not to go with his father whenever I watch the 10th movie.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2017, 07:17:33 pm by rhombus »


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2017, 06:34:27 pm »
Due to several requests, and the fact that voting for the fanfic awards does not begin for 2 weeks, I am extending the deadline for fanfic award entries until midnight forum time on September 11.  Any new entries will be added to the initial post.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2017, 11:42:46 am »
Okay, everyone, voting for the fanfiction awards is now open until November 1 at midnight.  If you have any questions concerning the voting/review process please refer to the first post in this topic. I am sure that I echo the sentiments of the other fanfic writers when I say that we all look forward to your feedback.  :)

For me personally I will try to give reviews for every story though I will probably need all of the allotted time to get to them all.  22 stories is the most we have had since the 2011 installment of the fanfic awards, which is a pretty good representation of the recovery of the fanfic writing community for our beloved franchise. I hope that this trend continues in future years.  :DD


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

Littlefoot fan 1990

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2017, 01:22:11 pm »
Name of fanfiction: This is Growing Up
Rating: 9/10
Review: The is probably one of the first stories I have read where I feel that the characters are written believably as teenagers. Cera's struggles with dealing with her father wanting to have her married off to someone whether she loved him or not; just a way to keep the bloodline going. Ducky's teen self wasn't something I was expecting either; with her mood swings and talking back to her mother in some chapters; and her mother's recounting the times she used to talk back to her mother in her teen years. I also noticed that Littlefoot and Cera have gotten pretty close; like they are falling in love with each other. There was one scene where Cera had to defend herself against a threehorn who wanted to have his way with her after he had won the competition between another threehorn bull. Love how Tria was shown to be sympathetic to Cera; especially considering how pushy her father has been acting throughout the story.

Name of fanfiction: TLBT fanfiction series
Rating: 8/10
Review: This story is definitely in more detail than the actual movie. More dialogue was added for the threehorns before Cera's hatch scene, and that's what I like. Nice move making the hatch scene an emotional experience for the adult threehorns; unlike in the movie where they didn't have speaking roles during the hatch scene. I also like how Petrie's hatch scene was included and there was more dialogue between the parents in Ducky's hatch scene. Another thing that was different was that Littlefoot's grandparents had some lines instead of just chuckling.

Name of fanfiction: Strength
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: Love the premise of this story; the valley is in need of a new Speaker after Littlefoot's grandparents have died. As usual, Topsy opposed the idea of a longneck being the leader. And just because Littlefoot was elected as the new Speaker of the Great Valley and not Cera, Topsy gets mad about it, even though Cera didn't seem to mind. This is where things get physical; Cera challenges her father in a fight; love how she was able to put up a fight now that she's bigger. Still, Topsy's stubbornness is what gets him in trouble. Luckily, Topsy does the right thing by going to apologize to Littlefoot for his attitude towards him, even though that scene wasn't shown.


These are the three stories I have rated and reviewed.

Sovereign

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2017, 09:00:49 am »
Damn, 22 stories!  :wow I'm extremely happy to see so many participants and I second Rhombus that I hope this development will only continue in the years to come! However, I've been pretty busy lately and it'll take a lot of time to review all of these (yep, you heard right :p ) so I won't be reviewing any other stories until I'm done with this marathon. :DD Don't worry, I'll get back to business after I'm done with giving these votes! I'll go by Rhombus' posting order with my reviews. (I still have a bit of catching-up to do with the Eighth Hunter and PAST-O-RAMA so I'll return to them later.)

Name of fanfiction: This is Growing Up
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: For some reason I had chosen not to read this story until now and I certainly can say I’m happy to have finally given it a chance. While I’m usually not crazy about stories handling an older Gang, this story was written very well and the plot has become truly engaging. In fact, I have to join the chorus continuously crying for continuation to it!

The story did seem to begin rather slowly and to be honest, the events of the first chapters weren’t that intriguing. However, as more stuff was being piled on the premise, many scenes of extremely powerful joy, heartbreak and horror started to appear. I especially liked the way you’ve handled Littlefoot and Cera’s relationship. It was built slowly and effectively and particularly the scenes of Cera’s rejection of the longneck’s overtures and the duo’s reconciliation in the last chapter worked masterfully. Both of the characters’ situations have an amazing amount of potential for further developments and I really wish to see what you’re up to!

Also, the rest of the Gang have been pretty amusing but nothing too special. I’ve enjoyed Ducky and Spike quite a bit and Petrie’s conversation with his uncle was quite nice but it can’t be helped that I most of the time yearn for more stuff about the two main characters of the story. It is rather unfortunate that Ruby and Chomper aren’t here but on the other hand, it could also be a good decision not to dwell on the shartptooth’s issues here. Also, I get triggered with terms of real-life marriage because that institution didn’t exist in the time of the dinosaurs. That’s just my personal issue though.

This story has built a truly clever and many-sided plot around it and I truly like the way you’re going here. Not only have you managed to do this in an often-problematic premise well but you’ve also managed to turn it into a true driving force for extremely interesting developments and complex stuff. The situation with Cera and her family, Littlefoot’s future and the other members of the Gang truly feel to have their stories flowing naturally which isn’t an easy thing to do in a fanfiction. No doubt about it, you’ve done a good job here!

Name of fanfiction: A Wish Granted: Tears of a Sharptooth
Rating: 7/10
Review: While this story truly has moments of really good quality, like the handling of the rainbowfaces’ motives and plans, thus far it hasn’t managed to fully shake off its similarity to the Seven Hunters. I truly have full trust that you two have something truly clever and interesting in mind and the last chapters are beginning to show it but thus far, the majority of the story has been tread on very familiar fields.

The story begins with a highly intriguing way and it starts to immediately build great expectation for the story’s future. Throughout the fic, the text flows as well as could be expected from the authors. It seems like the rainbowfaces have something truly intriguing going on and the test they put upon the Gang sounded really promising. The prospect of the eventual problem of whether the Gang wishes to stay as sharpteeth and the fact that they knew what’s going on are really good ideas this time.

However, some things seemed highly uninspired. I know that the prospect of Chomper accidentally attacking his friends is a good way to start this kind of a story but for it to happen in an almost identical manner as in the Seven Hunters was somewhat unfortunate. Also, the fact that the transformation was once again caused by a badly-interpreted wish wasn’t too original. There is still a lot of time to justify these things but for now, I have to bring them up.

I like this story quite a lot and I still wish to see what is going on but it has its problems in its plot. It is not necessarily weaker than This is Growing Up but the latter has managed to build the events more effectively. That being said, I like the idea of Gang-transforming-to sharpteeth and this seems to be able to tell it in a fresh way soon enough. For now, however, I can’t give a higher rating than this.

Name of fanfiction: Guido’s Day Out
Rating: 6,5/10
Review: This was a pretty funny if short one-shot with really decent dialogue and a pretty funny premise. The idea of Guido helping Mr. Thicknose in finding a mate is a good one and the conversation between them worked rather well. The characters were captured faithfully and the overall setup was solid.

The first scene showing Guido doing what he usually does is a good way to introduce the reader to this kind of story and it drew me too into what was happening. I like Guido as a character and the way you used him here really fit his character. As for Thicknose, it’s rather funny to see him this unsure about something after a long time of keeping his wise and comforting composure. However, while the ending was built in a funny way, it was rather quick and the story seemed to stop even prematurely. The pacing seemed to give the middle scene the most time which was probably a bit too much. A bit more time could have been given to Thicknose and Holly together, for example.

Despite all that, it was nice to see what you did here. This was a fun and simple short story with a pleasant premise. The fic’s briefness and simple plot lessened its impact on the reader and that lowers its rating somewhat. It is nothing too serious and I hope to see more stories from you in the future!

Name of fanfiction: The Flyers Who Never Stop Flying
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is perhaps one of my favorite short stories of the year. Not only did it handle the subject of the death of Petrie’s mom excellently but the amount of depth and ideas that were loaded to it are simply said mesmerizing. Everything was told briefly but for some reason, I wasn’t left with further questions as everything that had to be said had been said.

Petrie’s feelings were opened nicely and tied faithfully to his characteristics of strong faith in the supernatural and his overall receptiveness to new ideas from his friends. The idea about what stars actually are is rather beautiful and it gave this story additional layer of emotion. Also, I liked how you handled Littlefoot and Cera here as its more than likely that they’d rely their own tragic experiences about death to their friend. A lot of feeling was loaded into the Gang’s meeting and especially into the story’s final line which was a perfect way to finish the fic.

From the hushed confusion and disbelief of a loved one’s death, the reactions of Petrie’s friends into the details about the flier beliefs, this was a truly impressive short story. There’s not really anything I can point out from it which is quite an achievement! All in all, I really liked this story!

vonboy

  • Chomper: "Threehorns are better at everything, including rumpsteaks"
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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2017, 10:14:48 am »
Dang, two members now dedicated to what I promised with the first fanfiction awards, but couldn't deliver.

Reviewing all of the entries is gonna be a massive undertaking, so over the next weeks, I feel your pain. :p

I'm not gonna review anywhere near all of these myself. but I'll review what I can over the next month and a half.




Name of fanfiction: To Tread Upon Fields Afar.
Rating: 9
Review: A journey, where multiple characters undergo a huge change. A Sickleclaw that befriends leafeaters, then get's faced with what it means to be a sharptooth. A Fast Biter the loses her closest friends because of their revenge and blood lust, and attempt to right her wrongs. This story has kept me excited to see what's next for a good while now. Seeing these characters being faced with things alien to them, and being forced to change because of it, is getting me invested in all of them. This story is also full of various leafeater/sharptooth interaction, which Is something I always love to see. Plus some genuenly funny, and karma filled bits, like the one with a certain good-for-nothing longneck that did end up being put to a good use. :lol

Anyway, looking forward to the rest of the story, Fyn. :yes
Come check out my new Youtube gaming channel, Game Biter!
---------------------
Littlefoot: "Look, Chomper. You're uncle is dead, and it's just right for your friends to be there for you. You'd be there if someone we know died, right?"

Chomper: "Well, sure I would!"

Come give my LBT TV Series fanfiction, PAST-O-RAMA, a read!
---------------------
(Runner-Up)

Sovereign

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2017, 07:29:50 am »
It's time for me to post a bunch of reviews almost exclusively dedicated to rhombus. All of these were amazing in their own ways but I cannot help but regret that you left The Foggy Bottoms out of this contest as that would have been an easy 10/10.  :p

Name of fanfiction: Fateful Meetings
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is another one of the gems from Rhombus this year! There are many versions about how Chomper and Ruby came into the Valley but this is by far the deepest and the best presentation of that unshowed moment. It really gave a lot of respect for Ruby’s character and a distinct feeling about all the ways in which she is both more experienced and probably more ruthless than has been given out.

The greatest highlights of this story are Ruby’s great dilemma with the domehead as well as her speech to defend herself and Chomper in moment of decision even if I also enjoyed the duo’s conversation after the first scene. It gave the story more background but it was only the next scene that truly showed the depth of Ruby’s experiences. Killing another dinosaur is something that no one would do willingly but for a resident of the Mysterious Beyond, such dilemmas are most likely common. It was pleasant to see that things didn’t go that far but that moment alone proved there’s more to her character than has been presented in the TV series. Also, her speech was a truly great which sealed the impact of this story commendably.

As I said, there are moments of truly impressive writing right here and those arguments, along with the fleshing out of one of my favorite characters, made this a very impressive fic. It was also unusually intense for a short story and building such tension so quickly is extremely rare. That is why I give this story a nearly perfect score.


Name of fanfiction: Tiny Biters
Rating: 8/10
Review: This was a rather funny and cleverly-crafted fic which used most of the story to build a hilarious scene and this idea worked rather well. There was some serious thought given to the ways how Stern Claw and Taunt might welcome the arrival of their children and to the further development of the plot.

The dream was extremely funny and utilized one of the most recurring themes of hate in LBT but they worked well as an irritation to Stern Claw as I can only guess what even a leafeater Cera would have thought about such a sight. Also, the thing with the velociraptor ended in a macabre way but Cera’s frustration with him was both amusing and advanced the plot in a good way. The ending was rather hilarious and Seeker’s stunned reaction to the sight was pretty priceless as was the last line of the fic. The reason for the somewhat lower rating is mainly due to the fact that this didn’t leave as great long-term impression on me as the other ones, probably as it didn’t have as many awe-inspiring moments or lines as the two previous ones.

This was a rather clever story that simultaneously utilized the setting of Songs of the Hunters/ Mender’s Tale and used it to create this amusing story that used many different and funny elements of the original stories and fused them to a simple and pleasant offering. Despite the lower rating, I still liked this one and it showed that you are capable of doing great stories with a constantly-widening scope of genres.


Name of fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Rating: 9,5/10
Review: This story is quickly turning into a similarly complex and awe-inspiring mess that made the Seven Hunters great but this one is more intrigue-driven and complicated than it was. During the last couple of chapters, we’ve been introduced to relatable new characters, another chilling villain and the original characters are more multidimensional and thought-out than OCs in near every other fic I’ve read. Even if I wouldn’t yet rank it on a similar level just yet, this story has the potential to approach the grandeur of your first fic which is a great achievement in itself.

In the chapters that have been released since the last year’s awards, there have been several extremely memorable moments such as Mender’s reunion with the Pack and the intrigue surrounding Wrok in the second-to-last chapter as well as Violet’s farewell to her family. The fact that those powerful scenes are becoming more even more prevalent this year is a proof about the rising intensity of this fic. Not only is this fic emotionally extremely rewarding but it is also cleverly crafted and it makes me certainly wish to know more about what is going to happen next.

The constant focus that has been given to the character developments have been both interesting but they have also succeeded in immersing the reader into the characters themselves. There are so many different plots going on right now but each of them have been tied together successfully. The reasons why I’m not giving this a perfect score are mere nitpicks but there are some scenes (like first Hidden Runner introduction) that seemed somewhat slow and I’m still not wholeheartedly on board with ever-developing dinosaur technology and society. Those points are completely overshadowed by the positive things in this story but they are enough to slightly drop the score.

Still, I’d say this is the second-greatest story we’ve seen this year and it certainly is a major improvement from Songs of the Hunters. Once again, the author’s full capability in crafting amazing plots and ever-interesting character relationships is here on full display and it certainly leaves the reader yearning for continuation. This is a truly great fic that seems to only get better as it progresses!

Name of fanfiction: The one in which Redclaw gets laid, Petrie grows up, and Tria faints (or: Noisy two-footers, unfriendly fastbiters, and some other things that aren't as scary, maybe, depending on how you feel about premature adulthood, sharptooth courtship, arcane flyer religions, incompetent parents, a two-footer named Ysa, and seven dinosaurs that aren't ready for the talk - a short story)
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: If Tiny Biters and the Littlefrill and Big Underground were a step towards a more comic style of story for the authors, this was a leap towards pure craziness. What was truly astonishing here was the fact that even through the absolute madness that was going on, the plot still made a surprising amount of sense. Screech and Thud’s thoughts about the developments with Red Claw, Petrie’s quest and Dein and Terri’s point of view concerning the situation with their enemy were truly hilarious while still being sensible in some twisted way.

I liked the many different ideas that were utilized here in terms of Red Claw’s personality and the flier traditions. It was extremely amusing to see the characters at least initially struggling to fight for their lives while slowly realizing the situation they were in. The humor was hidden somewhat but I still have to appreciate the fact in which you built the comedy in this story. A personal favorite scene of mine was the flier ritual which was degenerated to a mere excuse to contact Chomper’s parents? That part was simply put priceless!

Also, the ending part with Red Claw’s flawed overtures was a treat to read! You two clearly know how to do this kind of comedy subtly and believably! The only reasons for the missing score was the perhaps even unnecessary length of the opening scene and the fact that this story’s premise maybe wasn’t quite as strong as your other ones. Also, I understand what the title is going after but it tries a bit too much, imo.

This is another example of the wide range of genres the authors are able to use while upholding the usual awesome quality in their stories. The delicate balance between the comedy and plot has been treaded carefully but this fic managed to do it well. Packed with priceless lines, clever developments and a great premise, this a truly impressive short story which was a joy to read.

Sovereign

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« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2017, 07:36:54 am »
This bunch of stories were rather easy to review as Fyn's stories have been extremely strong this year overall. In fact, To Tread Upon Fields Afar will be the only fic to receive the perfect score from me this year.  :)

Name of fanfiction: To Tread Upon Fields Afar
Rating: 10/10
Review: Bravo, just bravo with this story! From extremely well-thought out characters and great new locations to truly thrilling plotlines, this is the best fic of the year, imo! The chapters released after the last year’s awards have only created more tension and expectations for the future and there are countless great scenes and developments worth mentioning but listing would take a bit too long.

For example, the way you built the society and situation in the longneck herd was truly mesmerizing and its end was a gruesome but important watershed that was a good way to end that arc of the story. Additionally, I’m desperate to know more about Fyn’s visions and the secrets of the Valley. The fact that you’ve managed such an extremely intriguing plot point is truly impressive and this ever-evolving grand mystery of the Valley is something I truly adore here.

Even then, that doesn’t make these new plotlines you’ve done with Locs and Tempa and the widejaws any less exciting. You have five storylines going on now and what is truly stunning is that I want to know equally about all of them! None of them is boring or filler-like which is truly rare in a complex and massive story like this. I don’t know if there’s more new storylines to come but these ones have already earned my interest.

The character relationships, the great picture of the story that is forming slowly and the great shocks have all been as perfect as they can get. You really have me on the edge of my seat whenever I read about Fyn’s dreams, the intrigue inside the longneck or widejaw herds or the heartbreaking times with Zaura or Sol. What is more, there’s not really a whole lot of flaws I can point out here! There’s not real problems worth mentioning in this story which is just astonishing.

All in all, this story is truly a breathtaking one. I love the way you’ve built it and it is filled with extremely clever plot twists and masterful developments. As I said, this is my favorite fic this year and one whose continuation I wait eagerly. There’s just so much potential in fic and I cannot offer it enough praise here. I’ll simply conclude by saying that this is one of the greatest stories I’ve read in my life!  :wow



Name of fanfiction: Guardian
Rating: 9/10
Review: This was a really fun look into Chomper’s family’s arrival to their island as well as a nice explanation for Elsie’s character. This was a rather long one for a prompt response but it was justified by great interactions between Chomper and El Zee (that name was hilarious  :lol ), the little sharptooth’s quarrels with his parents as well as Elsie’s introspections. There was a lot of things going on in this fic and they resulted in a really nice story.

Even then, Chomper was my favorite thing here. There hasn’t been a lot written about his very early childhood and his very childlike speech and naÔve behavior are really adorable here and give the fic a somewhat humorous but also heartwarming feeling to it. His and Elsie’s dialogue as well as his parents’ certainty of Chomper having an imaginary friend works really well and through all this, Chomper still finds the right thing to do. I liked how you handled him and the slowly-built situation concerning all the characters was well done. Also, the dialogue between Dun and Rysa worked really well here and they felt true to themselves while expanding their personalities in a good way.

Also, the descriptions were spot-on as always. The opening paragraphs about the environment were an effective way to begin this kind of story and the way Elsie looked at the collapsing cliffs created a sense of danger and potential peril later on. This and the melancholic thoughts of Elsie combined with the funny storyline with the sharpteeth managed to do an effective plot that was simultaneously fun and perilous.

This was a really impressive prompt response and a good endeavor in expanding the history of Chomper’s family as well as providing a good prologue to the Mysterious Island. This was another story that showed the author’s ability to do a surprisingly complex story while always widening the existing lore of LBT. Well done with this story!


Name of fanfiction: One Star Above
Rating: 7,5/10
Review: Perhaps the best thing in this fic was the nice atmosphere which truly fit the holiday theme you were going after. The story of these very two different children in this beautiful but deadly wonderland was told effectively and the struggle by the duo to communicate each other while still understanding the situation was very fun to read and it established the story’s point excellently.

The characterizations and the situations established here were rather brief but they were good enough to relate to. Bren’s adventurous streak and Uam’s will to live were told in a good way and as usual, you managed to utilize the setting to your advantage. The reason for the somewhat lower rating is the pacing as I can’t help but feel that the first part of the story lasted for a bit too long while Uam and Bren’s adventure was quite short. Perhaps there should have been a bit more to the children’s cooperation than what was told but I still enjoyed this story quite a bit.

The themes of wordless cooperation, searching for a bright star in the middle of hardships as well as selfless help really brought me a warm feeling in this freezing story. The ending scene was a perfect way to seal this story’s themes and to highlight the beauty of the world in the middle of the deepest winter. Despite the pacing problems, this was an adorable holiday story and a good look at the dinosaurs of the northern lands! Thank you for this great Christmas gift!


Name of fanfiction: Strength
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is another one of your great offerings this year as it ones again combines a masterfully-created situation, extremely interesting plot twists and an undeniably acute theme to it. I liked the way your portrayed Littlefoot and Cera’s relationship here as well as both of their personal issues. The joy at the ending of the long draught was apparent and I already felt that there’s going to be a highly emotional touch to this fic. I was not disappointed.

Of course, the fight between Cera and her father was the most important thing here and I can’t help but admire the way you did it as well as the premise for this scene. Topps’ words to Littlefoot during the choosing of the new leader as well as Cera’s reactions to it were a great start to the threehorn family’s internal feud and Cera’s words during it were the thing that truly made this story shine. The firmness in which her thoughts were expressed as well as her immense experience were extremely believable and powerful. It was apparent that both the threehorn and the author had something to say here.

The emotional rollercoaster was pretty impressive for a short story and the twists flowed naturally. The only problems I had here were, as I previously said, Littlefoot’s and especially Topps’s characterization. While Topps was clearly exaggerated, Littlefoot, despite his tasked mental state, seemed odd to stay silent while listening to the threehorn’s outburst. Even a small answer would have been enough.

However, this fic still offered an immense amount of warm and cold emotions. The first part of the story was a great way to introduce the now-older friends and the last fight was one of the most powerful speeches I’ve heard. It’s truly astonishing to see the quality of your offerings this year as each of them has been awe-inspiring in their own ways. I hope to see more of this from you in the future, too! :yes

Sovereign

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« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2017, 09:25:15 am »
Only one quartet of fics left!  It could take some time but I'm pretty confident I'll get them reviewed before November. :p

Name of fanfiction: Not a Monster
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: I have to salute you for realizing the chance of deepening this part of the Seven Hunters and you’ve succeeded in this feat rather well. Ducky’s thoughts are natural here and the way you continued the scene from Flutter’s death worked well. Overall, the way you handled this delicate issue was really thought-provoking and there were several parts that were truly touching, such as Ducky and Sura’s “reunion”.

First of all, the dream scene truly showed how well you grasped Ducky’s family’s relations and it replicated the mind-crushing tension of the original as well as one can in a spin-off fic. The helplessness the children felt after being forced into this life is one of the saddest and agonizing things in rhombus’ story and you returned it into mind effectively which is truly impressive. The fact that Ducky got to talk to Sura with good terms for a moment while slowly drifting to her new self is the thing that caught my attention the most here. Excellent job with that.

Also, the part where the Pack tries to cheer Ducky up is rather heartwarming and it gets the message done. However, there was some problem with dialogue (for example Petrie and Ruby’s reaction to Ducky’s desperate outburst) which explains the rating. That scene was crafted well but it could have been even stronger with some changed dialogue.

Still, this story was a great reminder of this LBT version’s greatness and your own merits in handling Ducky’s character and creating extremely emotional stories. I loved the dream scene and the rest of the story deepened this fic as well as the situation greatly. With really nice characterizations and a nostalgic setting, this story is a truly spectacular one!


Name of fanfiction: Shorty’s Dark Past
Rating: 8/10
Review: The chapters released this year have provided us with some great characterizations and emotional scenes. I have enjoyed the deepening relationships between Littlefoot, Ali and Cho as well as the Gang’s slow absorption into this story. This story keeps getting better as things heat up and that’s why it’s somewhat sad that we’ve received five chapters since the last year’s awards.

As a whole, this story is turning into an extremely large fic with many interesting plots and high emotions originating from the rather modest start. There have been several turns and twists with Shorty, Littlefoot and the others in this story that have truly made me interested in seeing what is going to happen. Also, the developments this year have only deepened this impression, especially the scenes with Littlefoot and Cho and the former and Ali sharing the sunset together. You managed to create some serious impressive dialogue in the first mentioned scene as Littlefoot tried to comfort poor Cho. Littlefoot’s words sounded very natural while showing his great insight about life. His speech and emotions were the best offering of this story this year, imo.

The chapters you’ve released this year are some of this fic’s best and they truly show your improvement as an author from the rather weak first chapters. However, there’s not too much more to review this year due to the limited progress and that’s the reason for my slightly lower rating this year.

Despite that, I still like this story due to the very complex relationships and highly intriguing plot developments and I truly look forward to seeing how it’ll develop from now on. It deserves a higher rating but the first chapters and the progress this year hold it back somewhat. Anyway, this has potential to become a truly great story and I really want to see more of it!


Name of fanfiction: TLBT fanfiction series.
Rating: 7,5/10
Review: This has been a rather enjoyable beginning thus far with sweet and interesting new ideas. I like what you are doing and the small hints towards wider world-building around the film can be seen already. For example, the way you started Petrie’s story was very enlightening and a good basis on which to start recreating another, completely overlooked part of the film.

Thus far my favorite scene has been Littlefoot’s birth because it (not surprisingly) received the most screen time and that scene managed to build the most emotion around it. I liked the way you described his thoughts and that of his mother: you managed to deepen the scene greatly while keeping the original warmth and sweetness there. I truly enjoyed that sequence as well as the other birth scenes. Especially Petrie’s birth was interesting as it was the first fully new (and interesting) sidestory which you created in this story.

Also, the last chapter gave a good idea which way you’re going to take with the main narrative of this fic. It was nice to see the naivety of Littlefoot’s mind at this part as well as his mother’s thoughts about the situation. While this scene was still pretty brief, it truly got me interested in how you are going to retell some of the later parts of this story.

All in all, this story shows some real promise in deepening the unfortunately brief story of the first film as well as create some further context and character development. There truly is some serious potential for this idea and the first chapters showed that you are up to the job. However, the story is still in very early stages so I cannot rate it higher at this point. Even then, despite our familiar plot, I’m sure this story will hold many surprises and new developments as well. These chapters were already fun to read but I trust this story will turn out to be a truly memorable one!


Name of fanfiction: Ali’s Return
Rating: 5,5/10
Review: I apologize not reviewing your fics earlier but I’ll do that now. This short story showed some nice dialogue and an intriguing alternate version of the rather wasted episode. It was pleasant to see Rhett a bit nicer this time but on the other hand, this story felt somewhat incomplete. In the end, there’s not much going on here and the story could have worked better if some small adventure followed this scene.

The initial meeting worked rather well and there seemed to be signs of real joy in Littlefoot and Cera for seeing their friend for the first time in years. The Gang and Ali seem to be themselves but taming Rhett this much makes it seem like there’s no real tension in this story and without tension, there’s not much really going on. The banter between Rhett and the others was quite amusing but the Old One seemed quite out-of-character. Her herd is far from accepting of other kinds and it doesn’t seem like her to wholeheartedly welcome Chomper’s presence.

As a one-shot, this was rather decent but the lack of conflict and with it, depth, is a bit of a problem here, This isn’t a bad fic at all but even in AU’s, it could be a good idea to respect the characters as they are. Also, each story needs an intriguing plot to have an impact on the reader. Sure, the ending was rather warm and fun to read, but even then, a little bit of plot would have helped.

Sovereign

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« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2017, 09:20:35 am »
Well, here's my last bunch of reviews! It took nearly a month but I was able to hold my promise of reviewing each one of the entries this year! :DD I'm truly sorry for the lower ratings in this last quartet but I hope I give my reasons for them in my reviews. I don't want to dispirit anyone with these reviews and I hope I've given satisfactory feedback with these ones.  :sducky

That being said, I'm extremely happy to see the turnout this year and every one of them was a blast to read! Thank you all for these stories and I hope to see more stories from you in the future!  :yes However, voting has been rather slow thus far. There's still a lot of time to vote but I had expected a bit more voters at this point. :unsure:


Name of fanfiction: PTSD
Rating: 4/10
Review: This is another story where I think the plot-building and characterizations seem pretty problematic. It is a decent idea to explore how Topps is dealing with the aftermath of his terrible decision in the third film but it could have been done more effectively. For example in the first chapter, if you are planning to use flashbacks, it could be a good idea to put some substance to them instead of just briefly reciting what happened there.

Also, the way you handled Topps and Grandpa didn’t really work, imo. It’s a good idea to show that the threehorn isn’t as hopefully stubborn as is shown but neither can I see him listening to Grandpa’s advice about stress or the longneck simply going to want to meet him and give it. The two might not be as hostile towards each other as is shown but this certainly doesn’t seem believable to me. Topps might be more unsure inside than he gives out but this isn’t the way he’d act.

I’m sorry I can’t give higher ratings for these stories but they didn’t work too well due to unrealistic handling of some characters and lackluster scenes that should have been used to create more tension to the main plot. There could be many opportunities to break new ground with Topps’ character in this story but I can’t help but feel they’re overlooked. As things stand, this is all I can give to this story.


Name of fanfiction: One Tough Decision
Rating: 4,5/10
Review: I don’t know if this fic is finished but it feels incomplete. The first chapter doesn’t really tie up with the next ones and the conflict between Topps and Littlefoot seems rather quick and odd. The duo’s argument is quite brief and it doesn’t really feel too natural. There is quite a nice idea of Littlefoot trying to justify his decision to return to the Valley to himself though, and there is most likely something interesting that could be done with that premise.

First of all I’d like to point out that there are better ways to start a story than saying “after getting somewhere”. Also, the discussion between the longnecks felt like a rushed one as this conversation would have deserved more focus if the name of the story highlights that dilemma. In addition, the last conversation between Topps and Kosh didn’t seem quite right: I never got the impression of them being friends and the threehorn isn’t a character that can be pushed to talk to someone. These were some of the things here that lowered the rating to this level.

Even if the premise could be made into a good one and there is some nice dialogue here, there were several problems with the depth and believability in the plot that seem to drag this story down. Some of them could be fixed if you plan to continue writing the fic and I don’t want to be mean about this. But as things stand, this story didn’t really grow on me.


Name of fanfiction: The Eighth Hunter
Rating: 9/10
Review: This fic is truly an impressive one and I love the way you took rhombus’ premise and created your own twist from the Seven Hunters. The ride we’ve been through thus far holds many memorable moments and the effort you’ve put into the characters is truly amazing. The initial quest of Specter to find the rainbowfaces and to learn if he can rejoin humanity and his bond with Chaser and Alba have been a pleasure to follow and there is still a lot of potential to utilize.

As I’ll point out in the next review, I dislike human characters in LBT but the compromise of turning Specter into a fast biter makes it more acceptable. You truly excel at fleshing out his thoughts as well as those of the other characters and creating real in-depth character relationships. In addition, there have been several great moments on the way such as the black fast biter’s tale to Ruby, Specter’s entrance to the Valley, Chaser’s backstory as well as Specter and Alba’s heart-to-heart conversation after the Sharptooth’s demise. Also, for some reason, I find the implications of Specter killing the longneck resembling the old Littlefoot extremely memorable… I don’t know why but I find that little and largely unimportant scene rather disturbing and haunting.

This story’s pluses overwhelmingly outweigh the negatives but there are some things that bother me. For example, Specter’s entrance to the past was never explained as this isn’t how the Stone should have worked as the rainbowfaces affirmed and who was the voice speaking to him during his transformation? I guess that will be explained later but at the moment, it seems forgotten. This supernatural aspect opens many possibilities for the future and I’d like to know if there truly is some great plan behind everything that has happened. Also, I know that the Pack isn’t a major player here but maybe they should have at least a tiny supporting role. They trained Specter after all. Finally, while Specter’s thoughts about humanity raise really good points, they feel somewhat preaching sometimes.

However, the rating speaks for itself at how I respect this fic. This is one of the largest and deepest fanfics this year and the thought and effort you’ve put to this is mesmerizing. There are several interesting players here and the many different characters and their pasts have often been truly compelling. I’ll look forward to seeing your rework completed and I hope you continue this story in the future!


Name of fanfiction: Past-O-Rama
Rating: 4,5/10
Review: This one was extremely hard to rate and I’m quite sure I’m doing it correctly even now. There were many things here that made me simultaneously like and really dislike it. This fic was filled with quite clever and funny plotlines and believable dialogue but the things that bugged me here were also many which sadly were pretty overwhelming.

First of all, I don’t like human OCs in LBT and even if the Professor had some funny moments, his presence was a major repellent for me. Especially his inventions and human items were unappealing and his character seems quite unlikeable to me due to his effect on the way the whole fic worked. I didn’t find him interesting or likeable enough to justify a human’s presence here, sorry.

As I said, there were pretty funny storylines in certain episodes like in the recently posted one (even if the Professor’s ship once again made me cringe big time) and the Gang of Five chapter and I quite enjoyed the overall banter between the characters as it mostly was pretty in-character and oftentimes quite clever. However, I’m not convinced that story that is mostly told with dialogue is a good idea. It got rather heavy and messy to read and I couldn’t help but feel that the chapters lacked substance because of that. Also, the descriptions about camera and commercial breaks didn’t help even if I get what you are trying to do there.

As a whole, most of my problems with this fic were caused by the genre you were after and I’m rather sure I would have found more meat found in this story if I weren’t so against this style. However, those two major problems made it hard for me to enjoy this fic even if it has its strong credentials. Because of this, I decided to stick just short of midway with my rating.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2018, 03:12:13 pm by Sovereign »

rhombus

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« Reply #10 on: October 08, 2017, 01:34:23 pm »
Alright… let’s get the reviews started!

(looks at the calendar, notices that it is already October, and also notices that Sovereign already reviewed everything)

Um… well I will get started anyway…

Name of fanfiction : The Eighth Hunter
Rating: 9.5/10

Note: As the author is making major revisions to this story my review is primarily about the current version of the story.  I will also try to keep my reviews somewhat spoiler free.

The Eighth Hunter is a tale that has showcased Julian’s growth as an author.  In its original formulation it was a self-insert fic with interesting plot points, but which left the reader questioning whether Specter would end up being a well-rounded character until readers encountered later chapters in the story.  In its second series of revisions the improvements in Julian’s descriptions and depictions of characterization that were evident in later chapters were extended out to resolve the initial shortcomings of the first chapters.  The results thus far are an engaging story that takes people’s expectations of self-inserts and turns them on their head.  And, in the process, explores some interesting what ifs that were never truly explored in the Seven Hunters series.

We first meet Specter as a twenty-something human with a smoking habit and a bit of a realistic view of life, only to have a Stone of Cold Fire totally mess with his day (as they have a tendency to do). Along his journey to seek out the rainbowfaces to resolve his predicament he fundamentally changes history (prehistory?) and is brought on a journey that no one could have predicted.  The motivations and personalities of all of the characters are very well depicted, but this is especially true of Alba and Union.  They both are victims of fate in many ways, though only Alba is truly aware of how true that is in her case.  The case of Chaser is also a testament to your skills as an author; taking a character that was almost universally despised and then turning our perspective of him upon its head.  After the tragedies of the most recent chapters, and their journey away from the threats that seem to come at them from all sides, we are left wondering what will become of Specter’s makeshift pack of the betrayed, the would-be betrayer, and the abandoned when they finally come across Seeker’s pack again.  Some homecomings are more complicated than others…

I eagerly look forward to seeing how the story continues to develop. (:

Name of fanfiction : Past-o-Rama
Rating: 7.5/10

As I found out during my attempts at the genre, humor can be rather difficult to pull off.  One can try dry humor or situational humor in an otherwise non-humorous story, but to make a story primarily based upon humor leads to some interesting questions.  Should I make the story an outright crack fic? And, if so, how should the story be presented to the reader?

In Past-o-Rama Vaughn presents us with an absurd premise that, despite all odds and without breaking the comedic tone of the story, also leads to moments of drama and character exploration. The interactions of the canon characters are (mostly) believable as well with the deviations from the norm being justifiable from the standpoint of comedy (like the Professor getting thrown quite some distance by Bron and somehow not dying).  The banter between the Professor and the members of the valley, and their justifiable viewing of him as a weirdo is also nicely done.  Though I fail to see how they come view him as anything else after some of the stunts he has pulled, including in “The Very Sharp Threehorn Girl” though that was under some coercion from our favorite purple sharptooth.

There are two major things that prevent me from giving a higher rating, however.  The first is the stylistic decision to tell the tale entirely in a script format.  I respect your choice here, but I can’t help but think that some deviation from this format might allow us for a deeper exploration of the character’s and their inner thoughts.  On the plus side, however, it does allow us to visualize the events from the perspective of a television show, like the television series itself.  The second issue is that some of the emotional scenes in the series had their impact diminished by the script format.  For example:

Quote
Chomper: "I think she is keeping Ducky alive long enough to take back to her kids to see if they can hunt her."

Littlefoot: "Really?"

Chomper: "Yeah. My parents used to do that for me!"

The Rest of the Gang just stare at him. Chomper realizes what he just said, and lowers his head in shame.

Littlefoot: Walks up to Chomper, with an almost somber look on his face. "Well, lets just not think about that right now..." He gets a determined face. "We need to go help Ducky!"

Could have been done in such a manner as to explore Chomper’s inner turmoil and Littlefoot’s brotherly-like companionship a bit more deeply, but it was held back by the format which was used.  The emotion still got through, but it could have been even more impactful from a first-person or third-person omnipresent perspective.

Overall, however, this is a story that I find myself going back to again and again.  It is rare to find a Land Before Time story that does humor while still keeping the characters in character, and this tale succeeds in that regard.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2017, 02:24:22 pm »
Name of fanfiction : This is Growing Up
Rating: 8.5/10

One of the great under-explored areas of Land Before Time fanfiction is the coming of age story.  We fans of the series have been denied the ability to see our favorite characters grow up on the big screen, and this has left such exploration to the realm of stories.

I must admit that although the first chapters of the story were promising, the plot also tended to plod along at a slow pace.  However my patience was soon rewarded as what initially appeared to only be a Littlefoot/Cera ship fic soon blossomed into an exploration of the growing pains of each of our beloved characters.  From Littlefoot’s relatively steady development into adulthood (until love got involved), from Cera’s struggles against an arranged mating that she wants no part of (and worse), from Ducky’s growing distance from her siblings and increasing emotional outbursts, and Spike’s and Petrie’s unique struggles the story clearly shows the unique challenges that adolescence presents to us all. With the recent events with Littefoot and Cera (not going into details as I am trying to avoid spoilers) one can clearly see that the secret is out of the bag, so to speak.  With the romance now being combined with the internal politics of threehorn society and Topp’s own insecurities I can only fear for what will befall our two protagonists.  Thus far this has been an excellent story, and I look forward to seeing how things develop.

Name of fanfiction : Guido's Day Out
Rating: 7.5/10

I think I said it quite well in my original review: Guido as an actual wingman. XD This was quite an enjoyable short story with both humorous dialogue and clear empathy from Guido as he cringes upon seeing Mr. Thicknose fail in his initial attempt. The main thing that prevents me from giving a higher score is the limited size of the story.  I think that the premise could be taken even further, to show Guido helping others with their romantic issues, for example, or showing the continuation of the relationship which he helped to foster.  Despite the story ending a bit early, this was still an enjoyable tale which faithfully explores two characters that I always enjoy seeing in stories.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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« Reply #12 on: October 08, 2017, 08:31:45 pm »
And now for a proper review of Fyn’s stories from this year.

Name of fanfiction : To Tread Upon Fields Afar
Rating: 10/10

This story is in many ways the hardest to review.  Not because of any shortage of things to discuss at length, but because it can be difficult to determine where to begin.  Simply put this story has it all.  What had begun as a coming of age story in many ways, with Fyn and Zaura striking off on their own from the only herd that they known, has turned into so much more.  What would have previously been enemies have now become allies (Sol and Rear).  What would have previously had been seen as too fantastic to believe has now become a reality.  And now the stories complex web of interconnecting plots has enveloped the last remaining members of the gang as well… just in time for both Sol, Fyn, and Zaura to tread upon fields far from one another.  I have a feeling that their paths will cross yet again, but they will be forever changed by their experiences.

With a length already exceeding 350,000 words, numerous memorable characters from diverse backgrounds, and more than a few tear-jerkers, it is hard to delve too deeply into all of the characters for an analysis of how the author depicts them, but for the sake of an example I will use my review of the last chapter posted to make my point.  Keep in mind that this is the care that was given to one minor character who only features in one chapter:  (spoilers follow):

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There comes a moment in some stories where you just know that you are witnessing the beginnings of something quite important. The hunt with the widejaws was most certainly one of those moments. From the moment we got the analysis of the hunt from our soon-to-be-doomed protagonist, hints of ill-will between some of the young pack, and odd dynamics between some of the members I knew that I had to take great care to pay attention to what followed. As soon as Lalen dared to say his concerns aloud and it earned the harsh response from the female I knew that he was a dead dinosaur walking. His tone conveyed just as much to our protagonist, though he did not seem to piece it together immediately. Lalen's bailing out at the right moment was indeed the right strategy, but he could not have expected Acras to take the place of Suso as his executioner.

In the end, though Lalen did not intend to do so, his suggestion of his plot ended up killing Acras, ironically making Lalen his executioner. The emotions of the pack in the final scene was well done, signifying their lack of trust with the others, the suppression of the individual for the sake of the pack, and their obedience of the leader. As is common of authoritarian regimes, Osta has replaced the love of the family with the love of the leader, the existence of the individual with the identity of the state (pack, in this case), and replaced mutual affection for universal distrust. Even if her experiment in eugenics found success it would be doomed by her social disgenics. Even the most superior of beings cannot thrive in the most degenerate of social systems. This is what the Spartans eventually learned when their dwindled numbers could no longer control their serfs, and it is what all societies learn when all individuality is quashed in the name of order.

With attention to detail such as this, where no character is wasted, it is easy to see why this story yet again earns a 10 out of 10 from me.  It remains one of my favorite stories from the LBT fandom and I do not see that assessment changing anytime soon.

Name of fanfiction : Guardian
Rating: 9.5/10

This story was in many ways Elsie’s introduction into the realm of LBT fanfiction.  And, despite being a secondary character who was overlooked until now, Fyn does a fine job in fleshing out this character and making her seem to be an integral part of the canon. Between the wonderful depiction of her life and slow building interest in the concerns of land-dwellers, to the excellent depictions of Chomper’s parents as they prepare their son for a life as a sharptooth, no character is left underdeveloped in this story. This story succeeds in doing the character of Elsie justice. Despite this being a deux ex machina character in the film, this story makes me want to hear more of her exploits, and that is very telling of how good this story is written.

Name of fanfiction : One Star Above
Rating: 9/10

For this story I think that my existing review is a pretty good synopsis of my feelings:

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This story touches on a theme that I quite enjoy in the Land Before Time fandom: the difference in perspective between leaf-eaters and sharpteeth. This is indeed elaborated upon in the films involving Chomper, but not to the extent conveyed in fan-works. In this particular story we get to see sharptooth younglings as they prepared to embark on their first hunt - a major test for the young ones. And due to events that I will not elaborate upon here as I am trying to avoid major spoilers... let's just say that hunted and hunter get to meet face to face in a most unexpected way. And, along the way, they learn that they are not so different after all... I would be interested to see what the herd (and pack) make of the miraculous events of this story after the fact. This is certainly the sort of thing that would lend itself to future stories from storytellers.

I must admit that when I read this story it most certainly put me in a Christmas mood and the echoes of “Snoopy’s Christmas” rang in my head.  It is a touching story that shows that leaf-eaters and sharpteeth are not as different as they might think where it truly counts.

Name of fanfiction : Strength
Rating: 8.5/10

Though not as intense as the previously reviewed offerings, this story is an excellent exercise in creating a single-minded focus on two characters and their inner motivations.  Both Cera and Littlefoot have matured since we last saw them and they have come to terms with the roles each is going to soon take in the valley, but sometimes you can’t teach old threehorns new tricks.  Well, Cera is certainly going to try to nonetheless. d-;  In the end she succeeds by being quite possibly the only dinosaur who can out-stubborn her father and, in the process, shows that she has what it takes to be in the leadership itself in my opinion.  As both a character study and an examination of the changes that come with maturity and age this story succeeds.  The only think detracting from a higher score, as I mentioned before, is the lack of a more intense narrative.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #13 on: October 08, 2017, 11:19:37 pm »
Name of fanfiction : Separate Ways
Rating: 9.5/10

In many writers there comes a time when the accumulation of skills built up from prior experience comes together in order to produce something that overshadows their previous works.  I have a feeling that in due time this story might very well be the one that sets new standards from what we expect from Sovereign. (no pressure, Sovereign d-; )

The story’s narrative begins with a masterful bit of misdirection of sorts, making the reader expect a different tale entirely.  We have some obvious hints as to where things are going, with Ruby being introduced to new ideas and the gang it seems being separated from the valley yet again. In particular, Ruby’s situation is quite interesting as she is considering a new possibility for herself – One that does not involve necessarily following Chomper outside of the valley.  This possibility of separation is only intensified once the major misunderstanding takes place in the third chapter… and then the first disaster strikes. It looks for a time like Ruby and Chomper will leave on their own, but then something far more tragic happens…

Now we are left with two characters, both separated from their previous lives and previous sets of ethics and standards, being forced to survive in an uncaring world.  Will they find their beloved friends again or are they in fact as doomed as the narrative would seem to indicate?  Will they ever reconcile their new lives with what came before?  And will their separate ways ever again meet up in the future?  I for one look forward to seeing the answers to all of these questions.

The only thing preventing me from giving this my highest rating is a few instances of awkward dialogue and the story’s incomplete state.  Second only to Fields, this story has my highest recommendation of the fics on offer this year.  If any of you haven’t read it yet then I would certainly encourage you to do so.

Name of fanfiction : The Freezing Night
Rating: 8.5/10

This was a rough fic to go through due to the overwhelmingly tragic situation that plays out within.  All of our beloved characters have gone through such tragic circumstances and survived against all odds, but finally time runs out for Ducky I think that you have managed to capture the emotions of the situation and the gang's reaction perfectly.  They have been hardened by their experiences, but the loss of a loved one is never an easy thing to accept.

Name of fanfiction : Not a Monster
Rating: 8.5/10

The repercussions and immediate aftermath of Ducky’s first kill is one of those moments that would be difficult for many authors to portray in an effective way, but you certainly succeeded in this story.  This was a very delicate issue for everyone to deal with.  The taking of a life is a traumatic experience for anyone but a sociopathic character, and Ducky is certainly not lacking in empathy. Now, this strength of hers has become her worst enemy, tormenting her even after the deed was done.

You did a fine job of showing the repercussions of her actions extending from her initial emotional breakdown and even into her dreams as well.  Her request to finally end it all makes sense once we, the readers, fully understand how abominable this is to her previous kind and the old ways of thinking. Thankfully her friends were there to calm her, and to make her see reason. She is just beginning the hard journey that will lead them to become the hunters they are bound to become.

The main reason why I could not give this story a higher rating was due to some issues with the dialogue, which blunted the emotional impact somewhat, as previously mentioned in both Sovereign’s and my original reviews of this story in the story’s topic on the forum.  But overall these problems were not significant enough to lessen the effectiveness of the story’s narrative.  You went out to explore Ducky’s internal struggle in dealing with becoming that which she most feared – a taker of lives – and you certainly succeeded in that endeavor.

Name of fanfiction : Shorty's Dark Past
Rating: 8.5/10

I was quite happy to see when this story was updated after a long hiatus.  Many of my previous sentiments from the last year’s fanfiction awards review still apply here, but I would like to reiterate what I truly enjoyed from this tale.  In Shorty’s Dark Past Ducky has taken the unexplored potential from the tenth film and provided a realistic look at what could have driven Shorty’s personality and development as a character.  Instead of a lovable jerk-ass we are given a character that initially appears quite sociopathic, but we soon discover that he is not incapable of empathy.  Rather, like most children deprived of true affection during their lives, his sense of empathy is dulled but he is not without hope of being salvaged.  However with old characters from his past entering into the picture will he find his salvation or a final descent into the darker aspects of his character?

Other highlights of the story include Cho and her struggles with her situation.  Her social awkwardness and, conversely, directness at times is a good depiction of a child with autistic traits.  Her budding friendship with Ali, and the complication that Littlefoot provides in the situation, is sure to be a continuing source of drama in the chapters ahead.  And, of course, I cannot forget Bron, his complicated perspective on the merits of other herds, and his complicated relationship with both Shorty and his biological son.  In many ways this is the tenth film as it should have been.  A coming of age tale in more ways than one that shows the complicated characters that lie behind the surface appearance of our beloved dinosaurs.

The only thing that prevents a higher score, as mentioned in my previous reviews, is some pacing issues and the occasional awkward phrasing of dialogue that sounds overly formal from child characters.  But these issues have become less common as the story has continued, a testament to your continued improvement in writing dialogue.

I certainly continue to look forward to seeing what becomes of Shorty and the other characters in this tale.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

Fyn16

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2017, 04:48:29 pm »
Oh the weather outside is...

Oh.

It's not winter yet, is it?

Welp, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO DO THIS ONE WITHOUT MY SCENIC VIEW OF THE SNOW-COVERED CEMETERY OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW THEN, ALL THE WHILE CASUALLY SIPPING HOT CHOCOLATE THEN.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I can nab some hot chocolate. And besides, as much as I might moan about the "perfect season for reading and writing" being winter, I'm glad the awards are back on track this year for the usual time. Things tend to get busy later in the year. But I digress. I'm here to kick off my portion of the reviews this year. I plan to do this in sections, with each post focusing on an individual author, lumping all of that author's stories together under one post, as I've seen others do. So without further ado, let's give it up for JulianR94's "The Eighth Hunter!"

Name of Story: The Eighth Hunter
Rating: 9/10
Review: I will begin by mentioning that the iteration of “The Eighth Hunter” that I am reviewing is not the original version of the text. Rather, it is a revised version that is currently in development by the author, one which has already taken some of the changes suggested by reviewers to heart. With that in mind, let’s begin.

   
To sum it up, this story follows the “species transforms into a Sharptooth” narrative that was popularized by The Rhombus’s “Seven Hunters” series. In fact, most interestingly, it is based in this universe. It is for this reason why I give some of the similarities here a pass. Yes, the method of transformation for Specter is the same one the Gang went through in “Hunters,” but it should be, in order to preserve a sense of continuity. And that’s really what we can chalk most of the parallels up to in this case: continuity. They don’t detract from the story at all, and really seem to build on Rhombus’s established world. The main character, Specter, is becoming a high point as well. While I wasn’t particularly fond of him to start with, he has grown on me as of late. It seems he is beginning to become more of a learner as he is forced to adapt to a prehistoric world, one he might know about but has no actual experience surviving in. But the story’s real draw for me is actually kind of hard to explain. Its flow is excellent, transitioning from scene to scene in a way that makes sense from a narrative standpoint without seeming “draggy” or choppy. Dialogue is also quite good with great use of word variation and the use of differing sentence structures to keep the reader’s eyes moving. Additionally, suspense is built effectively, stakes are high (an excellent example of this was Specter’s eye injury), and characters are varied and interesting. I especially like the character of Blaze, who seems to provide a bit of a lighthearted voice to the more serious duo that is Specter and Alba. In fact, the big three as they stand now are actually a very enjoyable group to see interacting, each with hidden motivations, interests, dislikes, and scores to settle that make them believable, flawed, and interesting.

   
Currently I believe the story is on a good track, especially with Julian’s commitment to revising certain parts of the story based on constructive feedback. However there are still a few weak points (though obviously not weak enough to lower this below a nine). Chief among them, I feel, is the event that really sets things in motion: the destruction of the Great Valley. While its description is chilling, especially with regards to the aftermath of the detonation, I can’t help but feel like the plot device of the atmospheric weapon kind of comes out of nowhere. Granted we have some buildup exposited by the Rainbowfaces, but the event itself kind of feels like its only purpose is to get the plot moving in a certain direction. And to be fair, it is. I believe I already covered this criticism during one of my early reviews, so I’ll keep it brief here, but I feel that if the mind behind the attack were elaborated on a little more, perhaps established as more of a threat, the event would have more gravity in the long run. I also wanted to touch on Ruby, who I believe trusts Specter a little more than she probably should right off the bat. It’s clear that the two are meant to be close friends during Specter’s time with the Hunters, but it doesn’t quite seem in keeping with Ruby’s logical character to welcome him into the fold so easily, especially given her calculating mind as established in Hunters.

   
All in all, however, these are minor things which, as I said, do not detract greatly from the narrative. Julian’s fic accomplished something few others could for me: it provided me with a piece of fanfiction that I really felt compelled to come back to once the plot got moving. I still find myself waiting eagerly for the next chapter, and if the story continues on the path it’s on now, I cannot wait to see where certain events (and characters) lead us. This story, above all else, represents some serious commitment on the author’s side, and I believe it deserves all the recognition it can get. Eighth Hunter may be a fic based in an established fanfic universe already, but in my opinion, its qualities are more than enough to set it apart as its own story. Very well done, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store next!

DarkWolf91

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #15 on: October 14, 2017, 11:43:07 pm »
I had a dream that I was reviewing these the other night, so I guess it's about time to start :lol

School's really been hitting hard lately, so I'll probably only be able to review the ones I've already finished reading :/
I'm definitely going to catch up on the others some day, though!

Name of fanfiction: The Eighth Hunter
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: I just love this story! The characters, the action, the intrigue! Full of misunderstandings, twists and turns, and of course the hero overcoming some major culture shock. All of the characters and the world they inhabit are richly portrayed, and the villians are cruel and frightening without being comically unbelievable. The lives and backstories of Chaser, Shade, and Alba were beautifully rendered, and I loved getting to know them along with Specter. I am looking forward to seeing what happens next with Specter, Alba, Blaze, and Union! Hopefully not horrible death, haha.

A scene that I particularly loved was when Specter was making playing cards out of leaves to share with his new "pack." This moment was incredibly poignant when juxtaposed with what happened next. It brought back deep feelings I have had of the pettiness and insignificance of small actions when faced up against the potential of the world for horrific darkness, and it's a moment that's stuck with me ever since I read it. It takes really great writing to do something like that!

Name of fanfiction: The Flyers Who Never Stop Flying
Rating: 9/10
Review: I love stories that involve Petrie as a deeper element than comic relief, and this one really hit it out of the park! I don't really have much more to say about it. It's short, sweet, deeply emotional, and holds true to the characters that it portrays while one of them faces the unthinkable.

Name of fanfiction: the one in which Redclaw gets laid, Petrie grows up, and Tria faints
Rating: 8/10
Review: I have to start by saying that I truly love this fanfiction. It's so off of the wall for both of the authors involved, but still maintains a high level of quality. I was laughing throughout, and genuinely wanted to see where the story ended up, plus the characterizations were just plain fun!
It's greatest failing might be that it's just too plausible to actually be a crack fic. Sure the situations are wacky, but everything that makes LBT a coherent universe is still present here... Just with more adult themes and wild comedy applied. I think you guys are just too good to write something truly bad :lol

Name of fanfiction: Strength
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: This was in response to my prompt, and I'm sorry I haven't reviewed it before this! Somehow I knew it would involve the threehorns, but even so you took it in an unexpected direction, with Cera finally confronting her father, adult to adult. I love the way that you handled Littlefoot and Cera's friendship/rivalry, as well as the conflict between Topps and Littlefoot. The drought element was a nice touch, and the extra element of grief for Littlefoot really added to the weight of his "election" to the council. The whole thing was well-paced, and I loved the physical fight between Topps and Cera- it added a nice layer of threehorn culture. The whole thing read very cinematically, and had a lot of intense moments. All in all, a fantastic short story :smile

Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: I've had a great time reading this one! I'm not a huge fan of heavy violence, particularly involving children, as it's often used unnecessarily as a cheap appeal to pathos. However, you have used it in a way that truly accentuates the plights and natures of the characters, and I applaud you for that! While you did describe the accounts it great detail, I was never really put off by them or considered them extraneous.

Shorty's struggle is handled with great care, and I love that the history between he and Cho is still shrouded with mystery. You handle the characters and their inter-connecting plotlines and motivations well, and I'm still on the edge of my seat to see what happens between Shorty, his father, and his brother. Definitely looking forward to more of this fic!


Fyn16

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« Reply #16 on: October 15, 2017, 11:12:56 am »
Name of Fanfiction: Guido's Day Out
Rating: 9/10
Review: Pacing, pacing, pacing! Pacing is easily one of the most important ingredients when it comes to cooking up a good story, and this story has the recipe down pat! What strikes me as particularly interesting about this story is how it manages to set up a situation to be resolved, establishes its two main characters (Thicknose and Guido), and manages to provide them both with dialogue that not only moves the story forward at a brisk pace, but also seems to remain completely in character! Seriously, this is one of the best portrayals of both characters I’ve seen yet, and I had no trouble imagining both characters speaking their lines and going about their actions in my mind’s eye. The premise is just great, too. Guido, the “love expert” in this case, is arguably mischaracterized (even though he does a fine job) based on gossip surrounding the events of one day. You can tell he is in a position he never expected to be in due to his good-natured ways, but he still has no qualms about helping Thicknose regardless. This seems very in-character to me.

As I mentioned in my initial review, however, there are a few places where more description could be used. Note that you’re very close to the amount you need- a short story like this can only add so much without ruining the pacing- but it would help to break up dialogue and set the scene a little better in some places. Frankly, though, this story stuck out for me as a particularly enjoyable read this year. These minor issues are the only thing preventing this story from hitting a 10/10, to be honest, and for something that is, if I’m correct in assuming, less than or equal to 3,000 words, that is an impressive accomplishment. You should be proud of this one!

Fyn16

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« Reply #17 on: October 15, 2017, 01:26:35 pm »
Name of Fanfiction: Separate Ways
Rating: 9/10
Review: This story is going places. I can already feel it.  This one came out of nowhere earlier this year and quickly established itself as not only one of the best currently-running fics on the site, but also as one of the best (if not the definitive) Ruby-centric fic on this site. I do not make such claims lightly. This story goes into great depth with the Oviraptor, exploring what makes her and her kind the way they are. Half-teeth have always posed an interesting question in a world of sentient herbivores and carnivores: where do they fit in? Indeed, their methods seem much more closely tied to those of the Sharpteeth, which puts Ruby under a great deal of suspicion during her time in the Valley, suspicion which leads to an incredibly rash decision on the Valley’s part which I will not go into during this review out of respect for spoilers. I think it’s clear that while the focus certainly shifts between characters, Ruby is definitely the main focus of the story, and this allows us a very interesting insight into her way of thinking. As she strikes out own her own, following the breakup of the gang in an incredibly intense dust storm sequence, we get to see her develop with a clear survivalist attitude that might actually surprise and even disturb the gang (well, except probably Chomper) if they reunite. This story is a page-turner, too, and always has me pondering what will happen down the road. The “death” of a certain character hit me hard, yet perhaps it is simply denial, but I can’t help but wonder if the character in question is really gone. “Maimed beyond recognition” leaves some interesting possibilities open, after all. The introduction of a previously-established OC, Stealth, also worked very nicely here and was a great callback to your earlier works. He didn’t feel forced, and he wasn’t immediately friends with Ruby, something a lot of OC inserts tend to get wrong. His inclusion felt natural, and I believe he helped Ruby develop in her own small way as well with his presence and ideals. I do wonder, though, if this is really the last we’ll see of him. I guess that’s simply one more question that’ll keep me going!

If I had to nitpick, I would say only a few things hold this story back from a perfect ten, namely the beginning and some of your dialogue and descriptions. The beginning, to put it as plainly as I can, felt a bit rushed. We were pushed in the direction of the story very quickly, and developments happened fast. Not a dealbreaker as plenty of other stories do this, but it’s just something to keep in mind. Where I detracted a point was in the descriptive phrases in the story itself. Often the author uses phrases akin to “a wave of emotion swept over Littlefoot” (example, not necessarily from the story) or something to that nature. I would advise caution. These turns of phrase work, but when they are used too often they are evident. Instead of telling the audience what emotion a character is feeling, my recommendation is to show it, perhaps through subtle actions like not making eye contact, crying, sighing, gulping, etc. Again, not wholly distracting, just advice for a bit of polish in the future.

This truly is a fantastic work, and an incredibly strong first long Land Before Time fic for the author, and I really can’t wait for the next chapter to arrive (I promise I’ll review it when it does!)


Name of Fanfiction: The Freezing Night
Rating: 10/10
Review: Listening to “Journey” from the Destiny 2 Soundtrack while reviewing this was a VERY bad idea. Those sad violins really accentuate this story’s content in the best/worst of ways.

What we have here is a short fic in response to a prompt that was, and I’ll admit it right now, a throwaway alternative to the April Crack Fic prompt, but the author managed to take this simple prompt and craft an emotionally moving story out of it without straying too far into the cliches these stories seem to follow. Allow me to explain.

One of the most striking and effective things this story does is avoid Ducky’s POV entirely. We do not get to experience death through her eyes, there are no last words, no visions near death. Instead, we are given a perspective on death from the outside looking in, perfectly preserving the mystery of life’s end. This mystery, in turn, leads to a heartbreaking realization for both the characters and the audience. Ducky is not coming back. Now this sounds obvious but for a child character to be killed off, especially in such a simple and nonviolent way, creates a strange but effective air of finality. It leaves the reader just as empty as the story’s characters, having to grapple with the idea that Ducky was taken at random by a natural cause, one that could have affected any of the gang. It is a harrowing reminder of mortality, and this lesson is delivered to the gang in a truly heartbreaking way. Yet even they are able to grow and learn from it as they console each other with memories of their friend. I cannot stress enough how much I loved (well, loved may not be the right word, given the story’s tone) or was affected by this story. This represents some truly impressive story-crafting, and in my opinion it fully deserves the 10/10 I’m giving it.

The Chronicler

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« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2017, 10:10:28 pm »
In previous years, I've been able to vote for multiple stories, typically at least one for each author. This year, however, not only have there been by far much more stories written, but I've also had less time available to read fanfiction on this site. There are quite a few that I would be interested in reading, but just haven't been able to set aside the time to do so. I would still like to contribute to this vote in some way, so I'll just give a vote to the one fanfiction that I always makes sure to keep up with.

Name of fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: A nice continuation of the Seven Hunters and Songs of the Hunters, featuring a fastbiter named Violet/Mender. As with the previous story, this one follows events in both the past and the present. The past events show how Mender befriended Seeker's pack and learned to become a healer (a rather new concept among fastbiters at the time), while the present events show Mender sharing her experiences with Ruby's younger siblings, along with a struggle for power among the hidden runners.

Of all the subplots also going on, the one that interests me the most is the Rainbowfaces (and their two children) monitoring the development of the primitive cultures around them. I find it quite fascinating how they're identifying the ways in which these cultures are seemingly on their way to one day possibly developing a civilization, complete with a non-interference protocol. (Kind of makes me wonder if there will be any future stories in this series that will show us that kind of advanced development.)

The only reason I'm not giving this a perfect 10 is because, unlike the other two stories over the previous two years, this one is not yet finished.

"I have a right to collect anything I want. It's just junk anyway."
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My first fanfiction: Quest for the Energy Stones
My unfinished and now canceled second fanfiction: Quest for the Mask of Life


Fyn16

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Fanfiction voting 2017
« Reply #19 on: October 20, 2017, 02:09:18 pm »
You know, I actually had an order planned out for these reviews... so much for that, I guess! Anyway, the next writer to be featured in my arbitrarily-selected review pattern that is totally not random at all is...

The Rhombus!

So let's begin!

Name of Fanfiction: Mender's Tale
Rating: 10/10
Review: There's not too much to say about "Mender's Tale" that I haven't already said last year, so I'll try to summarize those points while evaluating the new chapters Rhombus and Historian have contributed this year.

Mender's Tale is, at its core, a slice of life story, or as "slicey of lifey" as one such fic can be when its subjects are dinosaurs. The story itself expands on the backstory of Mender, a side character from "Songs of the Hunters," and so far has shown her journey to adulthood in flashbacks while balancing an equally intriguing narrative surrounding the Rainbowfaces and their progeny in the present day. Where "Mender" excels is in its dialogue, and its portrayal of the core characters, likely a direct result of its transition from roleplay to story. In particular, Mender, Wrok, Dodger (my personal favorite) and Taunt all feel particularly fleshed-out, each with their own motivations and sets of morals to guide them. In particular, the brother/sister relationship between Mender and Dodger feels particularly strong and believable, as I have stressed many times that Dodger fits the "older brother" archetype very well, while Mender initially struggles with finding her own individualism under his protective eye. Both characters are forced out of their comfort zones, leading to some truly great character-building. I will say, however, that some side characters such as the Oviraptors lose some memorability when positioned alongside these powerhouses. I was not as affected by some of the deaths in this story as I was by past writing projects, though this could have been intentional.

This year has seen Wrok and his ilk take center stage, and as we begin to see, all is not what one might expect within his posse. What makes him a particularly interesting villain is that I can actually see Wrok being an effective, and maybe even good leader once he's reached the level of power he strives for. Unlike Calin before him, Wrok is far more diplomatically-minded (which is not to say diplomacy is his modus operandi- far from it). However I do see the potential for a Calin character in Dravos, a relative newcomer who has recently taken center stage. We'll have to see how his story plays out, but I for one will have my eye on him.

One last thing I'd like to touch on is the society-building that is evident in this piece. Rhombus has introduced technology and medicine into the world of the dinosaurs, and has cleverly and patiently managed the growth and development of these things into the world we see in "Mender." Already societies are forming, warring factions to a degree that have their own hierarchies and societal systems in place, all developments I would expect following a rise in quality of life. Rhombus's universe is slowly moving away from the raw prehistoric element that was present in the first half of "Seven Hunters," but is nonetheless moving in an equally interesting evolutionary direction. One can only wonder what will happen when fire is added to the mix. Looking at you, Taunt!

If I haven't stressed it enough already, I stand by my convictions that this story took a concept that should not have translated well, and ran with it. Often roleplays do not adapt well to story format, but both Rhombus and Historian have excelled in making their work conform to a format that reaches a larger audience. This experiment has thus far proven to be a success, and I really can't wait to see what lies around the corner.

Name of Fanfiction: The Flyers Who Never Stop Flying
Rating: 10/10
Review: Yep, I did it. I gave the author two 10's, something unprecedented this year. Come at me!  :DD

This represent's Rhombus's first offering for the fanfiction prompt challenge this year, and while my review was... concise to say the least, I stand by what I said. I am still amazed, going back and reading this, at how well this holds up when compared to the author's strongest works. "Flyers" presents a level of mastery in its writing style that is seldom seen, with a near-perfect flow, poetic language, and excellent transitions. Nothing lingers too long, characters speak as they would actually speak, and the themes discussed, namely death and the void it leaves behind, are discussed in a way that holds true to the beliefs of Littlefoot, Cera, and Petrie specifically while still leaving room for reader interpretation. Admittedly, I feel the start of this fic is stronger than its conclusion, but I don't believe that detracts from the overall score I gave it. This is a must-read story, contained in the compact package of 3,000 words. I honestly consider this my favorite of Rhombus's responses this year, and I highly urge those who have not read it to stop by. It won't take up much of your time, but the effect it will have on you will last a while afterward.

Name of Fanfiction: Fateful Meetings
Rating: 9/10
Review: Rhombus is no stranger to morally challenging situations, and this story presents a pretty big one thrust in the path of Ruby as she and Chomper are trying to enter the Great Valley. While I don't want to get too heavily into summarizing here, suffice it to say that the choice Ruby is forced to make is one that will haunt her for the rest of her life, and one that, either way, will directly impact the life of another. As someone who came from the Mysterious Beyond, it is very plausible to assume that Ruby is no stranger to these types of choices, especially given what she and Chomper must have gone through to reach the Valley at all, much less enter it. And even while these questions are up for pondering, the story also brings up the notion of xenophobia, especially due to how Ruby and Chomper are treated at first by the elders. Even deeper, however, is the point that some of these fears the elders hold, based on Ruby's thought process, might actually be justified! Fateful Meetings excels at showing us these many layers to problems we as readers might hear about or even face on a daily basis. Honestly, this is a near-perfect short story, accentuating by a huge "wham" line near the end that displays exactly how far Ruby was ready to go to protect Chomper. I do feel as if the impact this decision had on her could have been stressed a little more, as the ending felt good rather than bittersweet, but it is certainly a relief to see everything work out well in the end for everyone as well.

Name of Fanfiction: Tiny Biters
Rating: 8/10
Review: A not-so-serious fic from our favorite parallelogram, Tiny Biters portrays the struggles new parents face very effectively, and with the usual brevity that comes from any story about the duo of Taunt and Stern Claw. When I first heard about the premise, I wasn't sure how well it would translate to the world of the Land Before Time, but I held my tongue and rightly so: the story turned out to be a fun little read after all! What particularly sells the story is Rhombus's penchant for dark humor. Headless dinosaurs should not be funny, and yet here they are in all their gory detail, making me absolutely crack up! The story doesn't feel particularly impactful, leading to its lower score than the others, but that makes it no less of an entertaining read. I don't often chuckle aloud while reading stories, but this one? Oh ya you betcha, as we say up North.