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rhombus

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« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2018, 02:05:24 AM »
My apologies for the delay in reviewing this story.  In this chapter we see the two storylines of the two former lovers, simultaneously separate and deeply intertwined, as each goes their own separate directions.  Petrie’s path, in particular, seems obvious at this point as he tries to acquire a mate of his own kind.  Though his inexperience is showing in his initial attempt.  It will be interesting to see how flyers prove their worth to potential mates in this continuity, and how Petrie fares in his first courtship attempt.  Meanwhile, with Ducky and the others, it is now obvious that the annoyance of the threehorn can no longer be contained.  I almost wonder if the events of the last week has made certain thoughts in her own head come to the fore.  After all, it is probably about the time of her Time of Courtship as well…

Overall this was a welcome return to a story that I very much remain interested in following.  The emotions and tension of this chapter shine through quite well.  I look forward to seeing what happens next.  :)

That being said there were a few minor stylistic points that I should probably mention, which I think come from the grammatical differences between German and English.

Quote
As fierce as it hit their home, as short-lived it had been, the storm having ceased completely by the time they had woken up in their cave.

This passage is worded a bit awkwardly and has some disagreement in its tenses.  Perhaps something like this would work better here: “Luckily for them the story was as short-lived as it had been fierce; the storm has dissipated by the time they had awakened in their cave.”

Quote
Unfortunately, akin to a bad sunburn, a frost burn, although healing much slower, caused pain when being touched which had the effect that Ducky frowned slightly while being nuzzled though she appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

There is a similar issue with this passage, with the numerous commas making the intended focus of the sentence hard to ascertain.  It might be better to replace it with something like this: “Unfortunately, a frost burn was just as painful when touched as a sunburn, although it healed much more slowly.  Though she appreciated the gesture, Ducky could only frown slightly as she was being nuzzled.”

Quote
"Hey, what's this fuzz all about now Cera?! Get a grip and stop being unreasonable! He'll always be our friend no matter what! Or did you forget about the vow we made so long ago?"

I think you mean “fuss” instead of “fuzz” here.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2018, 02:05:46 AM by rhombus »


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

Ducky123

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« Reply #21 on: March 04, 2018, 09:32:23 PM »
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Well, this chapter offered us a glimpse about which direction this story is going next. At long last, Petrie's story moves on again and it seems like he won't be having an easy time trying to blend into the flyer mating traditions. :p
Knowing Petrie and traditions (Great Day of Flyers *cough*) ...  :lol  :p

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As for the the rest of the Gang, it's good to see that Ducky is on her way to recovery but Cera's behavior was quite surprising. It seems like she has something on her mind and it seems like we're up for some drama in the Valley too. However, I wonder how these two stories are going to converge as Ducky's was hardly successful. However, I've got the feeling that our two heroes haven't met each other for the last time. :OhYou
Yeah, you might say we're in for some drama. Although the story started with drama as it is  :sducky The two stories are going to converge... eventually :P And gee, that would be telling , wouldn't it?  :OhYou  :OhYou  :OhYou

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My apologies for the delay in reviewing this story.
No worries, I wonder when I'll ever get around to pick up Mender's Tale again  :bang

Quote
In this chapter we see the two storylines of the two former lovers, simultaneously separate and deeply intertwined, as each goes their own separate directions. Petrie’s path, in particular, seems obvious at this point as he tries to acquire a mate of his own kind.
I deliberately left this open for interpretation but actually Petrie isn't quite ready to find a mate as his feelings for Ducky are still too strong to let go even though he was the one to make the hard decision. We're still early into the story so you'll see :yes

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Though his inexperience is showing in his initial attempt. It will be interesting to see how flyers prove their worth to potential mates in this continuity, and how Petrie fares in his first courtship attempt.
Continuing from the previous point, I'm not sure yet if such a scene will actually be part of the story at this point. I do have a good idea where to go by now but I can't make any promises yet!

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Meanwhile, with Ducky and the others, it is now obvious that the annoyance of the threehorn can no longer be contained. I almost wonder if the events of the last week has made certain thoughts in her own head come to the fore. After all, it is probably about the time of her Time of Courtship as well…
Hmm, I didn't plan on lingering on the other character's puberty issues but that's an interesting interpretation of her behavior I didn't think of before. My main idea was that Cera eventually gets pissed off by Ducky being so whiny and depressed quite unlike herself. I think Cera might not even be too angry about Ducky, merely trying to tell her to toughen up, but Ducky, in her grief and pain, instantly takes it the wrong way, overreacting. Knowing Cera, she'll be stubborn about something once she's set her mind on it and, voila, cue a good old argument :P
One has to consider too that a considerable time skip was applied here so annoyance has build up somewhat, indeed!

Quote
Overall this was a welcome return to a story that I very much remain interested in following. The emotions and tension of this chapter shine through quite well. I look forward to seeing what happens next.  :)
That is very good to know, thanks :D I hope that I won't disappoint!

Thanks for the reviews and also thank for the suggested corrections, rhombus! I'll make sure to edit the previous chapter soon!  :yes
Note to self: finally create that signature lazy bum! :P

Ducky123

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« Reply #22 on: March 04, 2018, 09:59:20 PM »
Chapter 6: Ducky's lament / Not so friendly neighbors

Sigh

After the fateful outcome of her last visit, Ducky had sworn not to return to this place ever again yet here she was - at the outer edge of the valley's borders, sitting on a little exposed boulder, her gaze wandering through the mysterious, crooked landscape that lay beyond the Valley's borders. This was where she and Petrie had parted. How long ago had it been already? The swimmer didn't know. A week? A month? Certainly did feel like it had been an eternity...

"Why does it hurt so much? Why can I not forget? Why... why does nobody understand?!"

The landscape became blurry, her eyes filling with tears as she lamented, only the wind lingering around to listen. Just what had happened to the happy life she used to have? Her current self was a mere shadow of what it used to be, the happy cheerful Ducky gone, replaced by a pessimistic swimmer that even surpassed Cera in attitude. Last but not least, why could her friends not accept her feelings? They were something that could not be helped! After all, you couldn't just tell someone to stop mourning for a lost one or stop liking a friend, could you?

That was when Ducky's head sunk onto her knees as a loud cry escaped her mouth. When would this madness finally stop?


*

As the flyer approached, grim stares on him, he realized something very important.

Hmm, mountain has lots of cliffs and it difficult to find place to dwell…

As he had already noticed on other mountains, those flyers holding the more daring positions on the mountain often seemed to have females around them while those on safer positions were usually without any females. Petrie thus looked out for an easy spot that wasn’t taken yet. No good in picking fights, he thought. Luckily there was more than enough space to settle down...

*

"Spike, we were right... you hear it too, don't you?"

Spike let out a sad sigh as the sound of the swimmer sobbing entered his ears. As Littlefoot had anticipated, which his sniffer was soon to prove, his sister had climbed the walls of the valley once again to go to what had seemingly turned into her thinking place - the very location she had parted ways with him...

Probably to think about Petrie again...

The longneck imitated Spike's sigh. The coming talk wouldn't be easy, so much was certain. When the two friends eventually reached the top of the wall where the sound of Ducky wailing was echoing from, Littlefoot was immediately reminded of the last time he had been standing here, fearing for her life. In comparison, the task of comforting his friend suddenly didn't seem so bad anymore. Determined, he marched forward until their poor friend came into view.

*

"Right, now that me here, what me going to do?"

As the young flyer had finally found a temporary place on the mountain - maybe a little exposed and windy but with no competition whatsoever, he began wondering just how he was supposed to spend all of the Cold Time in a place such as this. Should he sit on the mountain all day waiting for the day to be over already? Should he be actively looking for a mate? Pterano had shown him how the practical part of courtship had to be performed and he'd told him manners, rules and advice just the same, however the young flyer was still unsure of himself. Naturally, his kind was known to be very extroverted and self-confident -  characteristics that were absolutely necessary for any male flyer to be successful in courtship just as well as in life. However, Petrie didn't have any trust in his abilities. Granted, the fact that he had been able to find this place safely and without major problems was showing that he had long since risen far above his younger self, however, looking at some other males around him, he just got to admit that he looked rather puny in comparison. Being a bit short for his age as it was and being a rookie didn't help much to shine against the older, more experienced individuals on his mountain, many of which seemed to be terribly muscular quite unlike him.

But did he even have to worry about that right now? His heart still torn apart from and aching from the split-up with Ducky, could he even let another girl enter his world at this point? Moreover, shouldn't he rather get familiar with the place first? However…

"How me make sure no other flyer take this place?" As Petrie thought about this, taking off to explore his new temporary home suddenly didn't seem nearly as great an idea. "Maybe me should just do observation and watch what other flyers doing?" After all, they occasionally had to leave their places as well to get food and water. Did they all keep their perches, did they just take a different one or fight over them even? The flyer was just about to make up his mind about that matter at issue, as the sound of flapping wings reached his ears...

*

"Uuuuhhuuuh!" Spike piped up to make himself known, the two stopping at a reasonable distance to the swimmer - which was necessary since Ducky would sometimes even reject the company of her own brother lately.

"Hey Ducky," Littlefoot spoke up quietly in a grave voice, waiting patiently for a reaction of the swimmer. But none came; her head remained buried in her arms.

"Probably might be best if Spike goes ahead first..." the young longneck pondered, giving Spike a non-verbal plead to greet his sister first.

"What do you guys want?" Ducky cried as Spike nudged her gently, the Spiketail immediately taken aback by her outburst. "Did you not already hurt me enough?!"

"Spike and I came to make sure you're alright, Ducky," the longneck answered calmly, Spike giving a curt nod to underline his point. "Cera said some nasty things I don't agree with either but I think she's worried about you just the same and, as your friend, she only wants what's best for you..."

"Me and Petrie being apart is NOT what is best for me!!!"

Littlefoot and Spike leaped back as Ducky screamed in a mixture of anguish and anger.

"YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!!"

"Ducky... yelling at us is not okay..." Littlefoot sighed as Ducky threw a full tantrum. Switching to a more authoritative voice, he continued. "We're your friends, not your enemies. We are trying to help."

"You are hurting me... yes you are..." The swimmer returned to a more reasonable tone, more tears obscuring her vision.

"No, you are hurting yourself..." Littlefoot pointed out with regret. "Let Spike and me comfort you so we can talk in a calmer atmosphere, Ducky..."

"No..." Ducky wailed, not feeling up to being comforted by her friends who didn't like her relationship with the flyer.

But the two friends didn't care about the swimmer's request, embracing her as best as they could, the girl ceasing to resist soon, keeping the embrace strong and tight until Ducky finally ceased to weep and sob.

*

"Geez, there's so much fresh meat here this year, don't you think guys?"

Petrie rapidly turned around as a series of light thuds indicated a bunch of flyers landing some distance behind him.

Oh no me got visitors...

"Hey puny, this ain't a playground for little kiddies," a sneering, deep voice emerged from the small group, belonging to a tall flyer with a long crest and intimidating chest. He was somewhere between orange and brown in colour, wearing a smug grin.

This one of alpha flyers, what they want from Petrie?

"What you want?" Petrie asked in a reserved but polite manner as the huge adolescent walked up to him until he stood right in front of him. The young flyer couldn't help but feel intimidated and his nervousness rocketed to the sky quickly as he was being mustered from head to toe. Was he at the wrong mountain after all?

"You see, in a place like this a flyer like me has to assess the quality of his competitors. However..." He gave a loud snort, cackling as he continued. "However, I really don't need to worry about toothpicks like you!" Laughter broke out in the small crowd - his gang of admirers and scoundrels as Petrie deduced quickly.

"That... be okay with m-me," Petrie replied timidly.

"M-m-m-me?" More laughter broke out. "Oh boy, he's a perfect match for my good-for-nothing sister!" Suddenly there was movement within the admirers and a rather small female flyer with a strawberry-reddish colouration was ungently pushed to the front where she landed in the dirt.

"May I introduce? My good-for-nothing sister. Having to watch her is such a pain y'know? She's as useless as you… and she st-st-stutters!"

More laughter broke out, pointing fingers moving away from his figure, now on the newcomer. Petrie's eyes immediately took note of the girl who slowly rose from where she had been pushed. She seemed slightly younger than himself, probably too young to engage in any courtship, but, more importantly, Petrie immediately took note of her many bruises.

Now me even more scared, how he treat her!?

However, he barely had time to get worked up about how she was apparently pushed around as the male turned his attention back on him.

"Oh, excuse my bad manners, my name is Aphteron. I won’t ask for your name though, it is irrelevant to me, you see?” Aphteron was the exact opposite of Petrie at that moment, hanging around the smaller flyer in a laid-back manner, a cool expression on his face while the latter was tense to the point of shaking and about to snap from nervousness.

“Remember your place and don't get into my way, got it, scrawny?" As he was spoken to, Petrie tried to avoid the menacing gaze that seemed to burn holes through his body. Instead, he caught a quick glimpse from the young female as their gazes crossed each other for a second before she looked away as quick as she could. Just seeing the expression on her face told him that she was just as uncomfortable around her brother as he just felt.

"Also, you look someone in the eye when you talk to them. It's like the number one courtship rule, you won't even get a dumb girl like this... geez these newbies..." Earning another good chunk of laughs, Aphteron turned his attention away from him.

"Let's go back to the cool area guys, the girls don't wait..." Spreading his wings in an almost graceful and proud manner, he took off, his followers joining him swiftly as they took off after him.

"Hey good-for-nothing, you better be home before I am!" Aphteron exclaimed before he glided out of view.

Petrie looked once more at the young flyer who hadn't followed the boys, catching another short glimpse from her that said more than 1000 words.

She hate him too.

Then, she quickly looked away shily, taking off to different direction.

Well, me think me stay here... for now.

Petrie let out a huge sigh of relief as he finally found himself alone again. The flyer hadn't exactly expected to meet anyone friendly there but his luck seemed to be really bad. Did he just have to bump into a full-scale bully right away?

"Well, at least he no want to fight," the flyer muttered to himself. "Guess me just gonna observe other flyers to learn about things..."

-----

Well, here you go with the next chapter!

Looks like Ducky is very upset, even yelling at her friends. Will Littlefoot be capable of calming the young swimmer's anger? And is Ducky going to see reason? :P

Petrie finally seems to have settled down, however he gets an unexpected visitor :smile If some things confuse you in the last scene, most of this is probably going to clear as soon as we delve more into Petrie's part. Due to the chronological order of things, Ducky's part might be a bit more heavier in the near future but I might decide to screw sticking to a correct timeline (I ignored it once early in the story already) and try to give both stories roughly the same attention in each chapter. Probably going to decide on that before posting the next one because it'd affect its content already (all written, just not fully arranged).

Anyway, what are your initial thoughts on Aphteron? And what is your first assumption concerning his sister? I surely didn't just have her appear as a camo after all  :OhYou

Hope you like the chapter and until next time!  :Mo
« Last Edit: February 04, 2019, 02:41:16 PM by Ducky123 »

rhombus

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« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2018, 03:06:13 AM »
Poor Ducky still is dealing with the aftermath of Petrie's departure, though her friends are not going to let her wallow in sorry alone despite her protests to the contrary.  Petrie, meanwhile, now seems to be confronted with the realities of his situation.  He is a relatively young adult flyer who is undersized for his age, which will make a successful courtship difficult in his first season.  Though it seems that his relative lack of physicality may have staved off a direct physical confrontation here, as his unwanted male visitor did not consider him worth the effort.  I can't help but wonder if during his attempt to mainly observe the proceedings and learn if he might learn much about not only his species, but himself.  In any event, I do look forward to seeing how things develop from here.  :)

Ducky123

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« Reply #24 on: March 07, 2018, 03:56:47 PM »
Interesting thought. I don't know if he would have had to fight the bully but perhaps he wouldn't have become subject of bullying but instead be threatened of such a fight if he interfered with his plans. I do not plan for this story to drag on longer than it has to so I'm not quite sure yet how much more interaction there would be. Just stay tuned, I guess :P

As for Ducky, yep, poor her. Being such an emotional dinosaur also means having tighter bonds to others and feeling much more pain when such bonds are broken. Such is the fate of the kindhearted. I hope that I will find the right ratio of understanding and stubbornness for her in the scenes to come...

Well, thank you for your review. I hope to have another chapter up either this weekend or next week. :)

EDIT: Oh, and as for his observation part, I will not go into detail there as it would drag the story too much though I am going to mention the things he learned.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2018, 03:58:25 PM by Ducky123 »

Sovereign

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« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2018, 03:50:34 PM »
This chapter advanced the two storylines in nice ways and the two scenes were rather well-written. It seems that the others are going to force Ducky to see reason but the road forward doesn't seem easy for her. The talk between her, Littlefoot and Spike truly was an interesting look into her mental state which will take a long time to heal. As for Petrie, it seems like this gathering will likely be a major ordeal for him. The new band of flyers certainly are up to no good and Aptheron truly seems like someone who can make Petrie's near future a torturous one. However, it feels like his sister and Petrie are going to meet each other soon enough again and it'll be intriguing to see which way their relationship will develop. :)
« Last Edit: March 11, 2018, 04:12:29 PM by Sovereign »

Ducky123

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« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2018, 08:29:44 PM »
Thanks for review :)

Yeah, there's really not much I can reply since you've analysed the scenes really spot on. Hope I'll be able to get the next one up soon. Just a matter of proofreading at this point :D

Ducky123

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« Reply #27 on: April 24, 2018, 05:59:42 PM »
Oh gosh, I really should stop forgetting to catch up on this story...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 7: Not supposed to be?

"Feeling better, Ducky?" Littlefoot asked as soon as the swimmer had calmed down. Her crying had been quite long and intense so the longneck was really glad that his friend was doing better at last.

"I do not know, no I do not..." Ducky sighed, wiping the remaining tears out of her face though her eyes remained very watery almost as if the smallest jab would get her going again.

This was far from being over and both knew it. Even as Spike gave his sister a content lick and nuzzle, her mood improved little.

"Okay, could we talk about things now, Ducky?" the longneck soon spoke quietly, uttering his request with unusual politeness as he didn't want to spark another repulsive reaction from his friend. “Remember, we are just here to help. There is no need to fight.”

"Littlefoot... I am very glad that you care about me so much but... what can you do about this?" Ducky spoke just as politely. "I do not think that you or Spiky could help resolve this..."

"Never said I can, Ducky," he responded honestly. "I'd just wish things would go back to normal and you'd return to being the bright and cheerful friend who saved me from my despair back then... However, you are complicating things..."

"How so, Littlefoot?" Sadness lingered in her voice but Littlefoot could tell she was listening to him this time, her tearful eyes meeting his filled with regret. "I do want to be happy but... All I am asking for is that he returns... I miss him so so much, I do I do..." Closing her yes and looking to the ground depressedly, fresh tears started falling.

"And there is nothing wrong with that," Littlefoot said a little down-heartedly, his gaze wandering into the distant mountains as his very own emotions threatened to overwhelm him. "We all miss him a lot, you've got to believe me. Even Cera,” he added, nuzzling his friend for a short moment. “I understand your grief about his departure - you were closer to him than any of us was, and I am far from happy about how things turned out to be, however you also need to understand something." The longneck sighed. "Love is something wonderful and seeing you two so devoted to each other was always so delightful. Let me tell you a quote my grandparents would sometimes use when things aren't easy and decisions hard."

"Okay..." Ducky didn't like the direction her friend was taking this conversation but she nonetheless didn't feel disrespected or misunderstood unlike when Cera was yelling at her. Therefore, she decided to listen to her friend for now.

"There sometimes is a difference in what seems right and what actually is right. What seems to be right to the heart might not necessarily be the best decision,” the longneck recitated, mirrowing his grandfather’s mystical voice whenever he was speaking wisdom to his abilities.

"Littlefoot, I do not understand..." Ducky sighed, shaking her head in confusion. "How does it relate to Petrie and me?"

"It means," he explained, giving Ducky a pained expression. "It means that, sometimes, your desires can blind you in the face of danger. It means... that what might seem like a good decision isn't a good decision in the long run."

"There is no danger to be afraid of in the Valley!" the swimmer retorted as soon as he had finished his explanation. "This is not true, no no no!"

Littlefoot took a step back as Ducky stomped her foot on the ground, clenching and shaking her fists. Due to being much bigger in comparison than she used to be, the swimmer could actually act believably dangerous in these days. Spike gave his sister a mild push as he groaned, reminding her to stay civil and not project her anger onto her friends.

"Didn't you almost freeze to death because you were blinded by your heart's desires, Ducky?" Littlefoot pointed out, his voice harsh but not angry. His friend needn’t be yelled at but he did need to get the point across...

"T-that was something else!" Ducky defended herself but her spirits sank as Spike non-verbally articulated that he also agreed with the longneck.

"Admit it, Ducky," he spoke with a more tender, understanding voice. "You didn't care about the cold because you were too caught up grieving over Petrie. It was only a few days ago that my grandpa applied this quote of his on your situation when I told him how worried I was about you. I believe in his wisdom and I think it very well applies to your relationship."

"Well, maybe you are right after all..." As if his words had pressed a switch, the girl's bravado turned into the very lack of, sinking to the ground weakly where she kneed down, closing her teary eyes in sadness and defeat. A small sob breaking through, she decided to address another aspect of Littlefoot's grandfather's words.

"Then... how is it not good in the long run? Why is everyone trying so hard to tell me otherwise, I do not get it, no no no..."

Littlefoot noted with a slight smile that they were finally getting go the point he was trying to make.

"Let me give you another example from my personal experience, Ducky."

"Go ahead." Ducky was apprehensive but she again decided to give her friend a chance. Although it sounded colder than how she meant to say it, the concerning glance from the longneck making her feel slightly guilty for her rudeness, she knew she could trust Littlefoot to not take it personal just as she tried to constantly remind herself that his words were only just another sign that he cared.

"Well," Littlefoot began,  being slightly awkward in the face of the details he was about to share. "I may not have had a relationship with a longneck girl - or any girl for that matter, like you've had these past several months, Ducky, but - maybe you guessed already that I was going to talk about her but.. thing is, Ali and I could be a couple too if we wanted to. Already back then I sort of liked her a lot..." As Littlefoot trailed off, Ducky couldn't help but soften her stance a little bit. Drying the last tears after they had ceased to dribble down her cheeks, she commented.

"Well, Ali sure is very nice and pretty, for a longneck anyway, I suppose..."

"That she is," Littlefoot agreed with a faraway gaze. "Well, already last season I noticed my feelings about her change in a subtle way and Ali was acting different as well. I think neither of us ever ceased to crush on the other but when we actually met each year during her herd’s annual visit, we were just too shy and awkward to take things beyond a friendly nuzzle." Littlefoot could see that the swimmer was getting slightly impatient as he didn't quite get to the point yet. Clearing his throat, he continued. "Well, either way we actually did have a rather close moment one night when she visited last year. We spent it guessing shapes in the sky. At some point we were just cuddling up to each other to keep warm and that was when... we talked about how we both like each other so much but being apart most of the time. It was a long talk, Ducky, and we eventually decided to keep things as they were."

"Why?" Ducky inquired immediately. "You like each other so much, yes you do!"

"And we do so regardless of the distance between us, Ducky. It is just not convenient though having a distant love interest," the longneck explained with a hint of regret. What would he give to be around Ali all the time....

"I do not agree, oh no no no!" the swimmer retorted as was to be expected. "If you truly loved Ali like I love Petrie, you would want to be boy- and girl friend regardless of how far you are apart!" The swimmer gesticulated wildly, back on her feet in agitation.

"Ducky, this is not what I meant..." Littlefoot sighed as he shook his head repetitively. "Look..."

"Then explain it better!" she demanded, anger returning to the heart-broken girl. "It does drive me so mad, yes it does..."

Littlefoot was somewhat relieved when the regret in the swimmer's last words shone through her rude behavior. He would have to try better to make her see his point though.

"I think... maybe you are misunderstanding a thing... I never said you should quit bonds with Petrie." Maybe, the sauropod thought, this new line of thinking might convince his friend. "I also didn't tell Ali to not like me anymore. No, we just agreed on staying friends unless one of us leaves their current home. If one of us were to find a mate, that'd be fine. We’d still be friends and it’d still be somewhat special. I believe that is what you two should also be aiming for..."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh," Spike piped up for the first time in a while, his inability to speak properly forcing him to be the silent observer here. All he wanted was Ducky to get better and become herself again and he knew he could set his bets on the longneck to resolve things as he always did - well, usually.

"B-but... Littlefoot?"

"Huh?" The boy bent down his neck on the swimmer's eye-level.

"Y-you cannot j-just tell me to stop loving Petrie! M-maybe you can fool your heart but I cannot..."

"Not asking you to stop liking him, Ducky," Littlefoot said gently as Ducky once more slipped close to crying. "It's not easy to compare me and Ali with you guys. At least we're from the same kind so it wouldn't be an issue if she came to the valley to stay for good..." He gave Ducky an apologizing expression as he went on. "Ever thought what consequences it would have if you one day became mates? Not being able to have any eggs... frowned upon by most other folks... also you live in two completely different ways too. You guys are water-bound; Petrie is taking towards the skies. Don't you think... it might be the lesser wrong to keep a close relationship but not become the loving mates you're envisioning to be? Don't you think... that maybe you are not supposed to be?"

The hadrosaur took a long while to respond, turning away and leaning against Spike for support, asking her brother for his opinion in a low whisper. Littlefoot waited patiently. A rushed decision usually wasn't a good one and neither was a rushed answer likely to be true. It were times like these when he wished his mother was still with him so he could ask her for advice. His grandparents were wise but his mother’s wisdom had been of a completely different kind yet holding just as much truth. Still, he’d try his very best with what he got to help Ducky.

"Do you really think that would make me more happy?" A very honest question as Spike deduced when his sister quietly addressed him. Not much time had passed at all when he nodded. Ducky was hurting too much and it needed to stop in his view.

"I... I do not know, Littlefoot," Ducky eventually spoke up again as she turned back to the longneck. "Could we leave it at that for today? I need to sleep a few nights over it I think, I do, I do."

"Fair enough, Ducky," Littlefoot spoke with an approving nod though some suspicion remained. "Just talk to me when you're ready or when you need it."

"I will, I will..." the swimmer sighed, dropping back onto the hard ground as all strength suddenly left her, only to leave her with a strange, empty feeling of defeat.

"Well, alright then. Shall we head back?" Littlefoot could sense bad weather to come and Spike's uneasy glimpses at the sky only reassured him that his intuition wasn't playing tricks on him.

"I will go after you soon, go ahead," the swimmer spoke in a tired voice.

"As long as you keep an eye on the sky for bad weather..."

"I think I learned my lesson, yep yep yep," the swimmer sighed as her tail tip twitched.

"Alright then, let's go home Spiky!"

Spike sent one last reassuring glance back at his sister who nodded affirmatively in return. His mind still troubled, he slowly followed Littlefoot back into the valley.

*

Petrie quickly managed to adapt to life at the mountains - quite to his surprise he had to admit. Within a few days, he had been able to gather a lot of important information. Spending a lot of time airborne, watching other flyers and observing their habits, listening in on a lot of conversations, Petrie had learned about where to find the best food, where social activities and games were being performed (needless to say he avoided them) and where some nice nesting areas were located. It was because of this information and because of the hostility of most other males around their peak, that the brown flyer was able to find a much better place to call a place to sleep. It was a 30 minutes flight away but Petrie didn't mind. The caverns that he had found high up in a nearby mountain range were empty and small, placed on a sort of overhanging cliff which highly reminded him of his old home in the Valley.

Oh me miss home.

The place was a bit lonely but anything was better than the constant scrutiny of the other males and the noise that was quite strong even at night as courtship apparently didn't know any time restraints. Petrie hadn't expected to fit in well - he never had been good at it to begin with, so he didn't mind it much. The homesickness was still affecting him at times though he had mostly been able to get over the worst during his terribly long flight already.

Slowly but surely he was also building a sort of daily routine of things to do. Admittedly, he did most of them to pass time and avoid boredom - and, moreover, it usually saved him from having unhealthy thoughts too, but especially the long flights he took every day were helping to build more strength which was a nice side effect. Nevertheless, he'd still take part in a game of Hide and Seek with his friends much rather than this but Petrie had made this decision well aware of its consequences most of which weren't very pleasant compared to life in the Valley.

The young flyer was very relieved to not have bumped into the bully from his first day again although he could not stop thinking about Aphteron’s sister. It wasn't so much the girl but the way she seemed to be treated that he couldn't quite ban from his thoughts. Having a tendency to be on the receiving end of jerks as well (and knowing how cruel siblings could be first hand), Petrie couldn't help but pity her.

His days were pretty lonely and uneventful until one day about two weeks after his arrival at the Flyer Peaks when he made a very interesting observation…

-----

I probably wrote most of this months ago lol, I'm so much further in Petrie's storyline at this point but lacking behind a little in Ducky's (maybe enough content for one more chapter).

Anyway, I really really like how the scene in Ducky's storyline turned out. I even think it could be quite a key scene since Ducky's decision will largely influence the future of the story. Have I decided yet? Most certainly! :smile But Ducky still has quite a way to go to gain wisdom and make up her mind (and I still have to write most of it :P )

I just included the little bit of Petrie's because it fit in lol. Just a small transition scene to decorate and blur the timeskip a little :smile

Hope you enjoyed this new chapter and I'll try to keep you up to date (so probably in June or something  :OhYou )
« Last Edit: February 04, 2019, 02:58:59 PM by Ducky123 »

Sovereign

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Not Supposed To Be
« Reply #28 on: April 26, 2018, 03:24:19 PM »
That was certainly a nice dialogue. :) I liked the caring and highly sensible speech Littlefoot gave Ducky which showed the depth of the wisdom he has gathered during his short life. The way he acted like a true friend while also doing his best to show the best way forward for Ducky certainly hit the point. However, I still get the feeling the swimmer's not going to give up her love just yet which opens the question of how her story will continue. As for Petrie, there's not much to say except he's not certainly having a good time just yet and he certainly doesn't seem too popular with his own kind. Also, it's rather fun to look now that this fic began as the answer for the November prompt. Time sure flies. :lol

Ducky123

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« Reply #29 on: April 27, 2018, 01:56:20 AM »
Haha, I know right? :DD Actually, I just started writing the first chapter randomly for fun and ended up liking the idea. Then some ideas for each character's plots came up and voila :P

I'm glad you like this recent chapter! Indeed Ducky doesn't seem too convinced of Littlefoot's proposal. She's kind of acting OOC here but I think the situation already explains that quite well. I already made up my mind about her path and I'm curious to see what you'll think of it :yes

As for Petrie... yeah, he's kinda lonely and a bit of a reclusive in that community :P But things will get interesting in the next chapter which, I'm sure, the ending of the chapter should have hinted at ^^spike

Ducky123

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Re: Not Supposed To Be
« Reply #30 on: September 30, 2018, 10:39:23 PM »
just a heads up that this story is not dead. Will resume work on it very soon. Just need to do some planning so it'll be smoothly. SDP has shown me how much this can improve the overall quality and workflow, yep yep yep :)

Ducky123

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Re: Not Supposed To Be
« Reply #31 on: February 04, 2019, 05:02:44 PM »
Okay guys, this time for real...  :facepalm

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 8: Thursel

In the hour to come, Ducky went through several what-ifs and on-the-one-hands but as the wind picked up, some ground sparkles beginning to fall, she had to admit that this was a decision she couldn't make all by herself.

"Littlefoot already gave me some helpful advice but I will need more secondary opinions before I can make up my mind, yes I do..." With that in mind, the increasing cold sending a chill down her spine, the swimmer slowly headed back to the Valley.

*

The flyer was just casually sailing across the skies some distance away from the mountains where the trees stood much tighter and population was generally thin. It was a quiet and lonely area without much airborne traffic to mind where Petrie could just fly without much of a thought, without anyone bothering him.

That day, though, he was flying rather low since it was a cold day and even colder higher up. The Cold Time that he had temporarily escaped when he left the Valley was eventually going to hit this place as well. Although he had heard that it typically didn’t last very long and some years even went by without White Ground Sparkles at all, he would still be prepared for it if it hit the area in a similar manner than the storm that had trapped him in a cave on the first day of his journey.

 It was only because of the weather that he managed to catch a conversation from below the tops of the trees that caught his interest. Otherwise, he might have overheard it.

"Aphteron, how much further is it? I can't wait to slap your good-for-nothing sister into shape for this!"

"Quiet until we get there, no one must follow us, stupid idiot!"

"U-understood!"

"Just make sure the little brat doesn't try to break away before we get there!"


Petrie's ears were wide open as he slowed down his flight, trying to figure out where exactly the voices were coming from.

"If that not be bully and his gang..." the flyer muttered to himself. Just this realization was any reason to get away as fast as he could but their secretive behavior awoke his curiosity like a bucket of icy water. Just what were they up to so far away from the mountains?

And what they going to do with the girl...

Silently, Petrie glided above the thick foliage as the group made their way further away from their home.

*

"We're here," Aphteron suddenly announced as a formation of basaltic rocks broke through the foliage. Petrie gently entered the forest himself, looking for a perch from which he could observe the group while remaining unseen. From a distance of about two longneck lengths he was able to hear and see what transpired in front of him.

The girl is here, what they gonna do to her?

The tell-tale red coloured flyer had landed in the circle that quickly formed around her, her brother stepping forward, his face distorted in anger.

"Thursel, you know why we took you here?"

The girl's wings were shaking heavily and her gaze was wandering around in the circle hectically. She gave an impression of being hunted and Petrie was pretty certain that this was not the first time this was happening.

"How many times have I told you to stay out of my way?! How many times have I ordered you to stay at the nest when I'm engaged in courtship? You're on the best route to ruin my reputation here, and you know what that means?! If I don't find a mate, I'm expected to return home for another year to babysit those little bastards mom is trying to hatch and I'll be seeing your red ass for even longer!

*slap*

Stay out of my way and fucking do as I say you little *slap* rotten *slap* hatchling!" With a powerful kick right to the stomach, the tall flyer sent his sister towards his followers who quickly jumped out of the way, the girl tumbling into one of the rocks with her back.

"I only promised mom to take you with me on the condition that I didn't have to help her raise these little beakbrains. You should start thanking me for taking care of the useless idiot you are." He suddenly gave his henchmen a gesture. "Make sure the lesson sticks..."

What followed after reminded Petrie more of a scene from his nightmares than what actually transpired in front of him. The assembled flyers assaulted the girl like a gang of sharpbeaks feasting on carrion, kicking, hitting and scratching her without mercy. It was only when their leader gave a signal that they finally let her go, the girl collapsing on the spot, her screams and wails fading as she silently wept in the dirt.

"Next time I'll take some inspiration from the meateaters... if you get the idea." Some laughter erupted in the crowd while Petrie clenched his fists in anger from his perch high up in the trees.

"Anyway... Thursel," he spat her name out like a bone from a carnivorous meal. "I have come to a decision. You are no longer welcome at the mountains. Your red ass stands out and I can't stand it! You are to survive on your own from now on and I want you to report back to me every third day at noon. That way I will keep my pact with mom while not having to endure you pathetic idiocy any longer. I'll expect your report in two days at noon... and remember that I'll have more painful things happen to you if you screw up another time!" His expression full of disgust, Aphteron kicked the smaller flyer away like a piece of stinkweed before he finally turned away from the bundle of misery. "Time to return home. Same rules apply; nobody may see us or they'll get suspicious."

You failed, me heard you, idiot.

Taking a short moment to spread his large wings in a proud and graceful manner, the tall male took to the air with his gang on his tail. Petrie waited until they were well out of sight before he made his move...

*

As the brown flyer approached the red one, pictures from the scenes he had just witnessed were replaying in front of his inner eye. Petrie had seen death and violence before in his life but, time and again, it was terribly disturbing him.

His wings were shaking with rage, his heart was pounding with aggression. How much he hated to be in a position of weakness! Always being the odd one out and the primary target of his siblings' and friends' banter, he was so terribly sick being in such a position. However, having to observe someone who was in need of help and not having the strength, knowledge or tools to help them was truly the worst of it all! The young flyer didn't know the other flyer at all and, frankly, what happened to her shouldn't be his concern. But Petrie's mind and heart weren't like that of most of his kind. They were selfish and only living for their own sake but Petrie had never wanted to become someone like that. He was good at heart and all the injustice and unfairness in this world enraged him more than anything else.

That girl not have to suffer like that, me gonna make sure of that!

Finally, Petrie landed with a soft thud on the soft grass on the ground after a flight that seemed to drag on for an eternity even if it was just a stone’s throw away. From his previous position, he had not been able to get a good picture of how badly the girl - Thursel as she was apparently called, was hurt but, judging by the beating she had received, Petrie expected her to look bad. What an understatement that was.

She bleeding from head injury badly and she full of bruises and scratches.

Petrie suddenly felt his muscles refuse to work, standing there petrified just like the rocks all around him. Despite seeing the red flyer suffer in front of him, the fact that she was a girl made things awkward.

Very awkward…

“How should me talk to her? Me no know how to talk to girl flyers even if me not looking at tail!” Petrie hated to admit it but his shyness was always making a big appearance right when it was least welcomed. Apparently, she hadn’t noticed him so far though, silently weeping on the floor in agony.

“It no use, me just need to do it now or me never be able to learn how to talk to girl flyers!” Having made up his mind at last, remembering his rage and anger at Aphteron, Petrie gathered all the little confidence he had to offer and slowly walked towards the red coloured flyer, whose blood was almost the colour as her body it was trickling from her forehead, until he stood a mere few steps in front of her.

“Um… h-hello?” Petrie immediately flinched at this own croaky words. It seemed as though his throat was suddenly sealed by an unknown force. “Me… help…. you?”

Great, me failed big time…

As Petrie was cursing at his inability to speak, the younger flyer raised her head ever so slightly, allowed her to see who was talking to her. It didn’t take her long to remember the face that was awkwardly staring at her.

It’s that flyer who my brother bullied a while ago…

Granted, Aphteron had spent a lot of newcomers to the mountain a visit and most encounters went terribly similar except for the fact that she had usually been hiding behind the crowd of his henchbacks. Still, she immediately remembered this fellow for some reason. He seemed to have understood her situation within a blink of an eye. Was it the reason why he was here despite her brother taking great care to remain unseen?

“T-t-take m-m-me t-to the s-stream… please,” Thursel stuttered with a pain-stricken voice, a begging undertone ringing in her words. Her injuries were far from fatal and the bleeding had already reduced a lot but the chance for the wounds to get infected was significant if she didn’t wash them as soon as she could… and she certainly wasn’t in any shape to walk, let alone fly to a nearby stream that was flowing on the other side of the rock formation.

“Stream be j-just over t-there, right?” Petrie replied nervously, having somewhat recovered from the initial shock now that the girl had replied. From his many flights over the area, he roughly knew most of the landmarks and water sources in the area by now. Taking her to the next water source wouldn’t be much of a trouble for him although he was wondering why that was her primary request in this situation. Well, that question could wait for now…

“Y-yes… would you… I n-n-need help…” the girl sobbed in pain.

“Can you… walk?” Petrie wondered as he closed the remaining distance between them.

“D-d-don’t know…” she cried.

“Hmm…” Petrie reached out his hand anyway - although he felt very embarrassed doing so, grabbing one of her wings and carefully lifting the girl to her feet. Albeit very wobbly on her legs, she didn’t collapse back onto the ground when he loosened his grip. “Okay, lean onto me, me going to support you so you not fall.”

“T-thanks…”

“You welcome…” As Petrie slowly led the girl to the stream, making sure to walk slow enough lest to cause her any additional pain, some of his self-confidence slowly returned to the boy. If she had noticed his awkwardness, then surely she didn’t care at this moment. Petrie decided to forget about things for now and focus on his task.

Once they had reached the stream, the girl broke off him and started to wash her wounds with slow movements, Petrie keeping silent watch in case she’d topple over from exhaustion. During this whole process, neither of them said a word… although the girl occasionally winced and cursed in pain. Both lacked the courage to speak up so they just awkwardly stood by each other. Once Thursel was done cleaning her injuries though, she finally turned towards the boy.

“Thank you. M-may I a-ask f-for y-your name?” she spoke shyly, feeling the need to express her gratitude to the stranger who had just helped her after being so brutally beaten down. Unlike most other flyers around the place, this fellow actually seemed to have a kind heart.

“My name Petrie,” Petrie replied neutrally. “Me meet you before if you remember…”

“Yes, I do… I-I apologize f-f-for m-my brother’s be-be-behavior b-back t-there…”

“He be big big bully, me notice how he treat you bad so when me overheard him earlier me decided to follow and then me see you…” Petrie explained, surprised that he was able to talk almost freely. The girl’s stuttering was a bit irritating though. “By the way, your name be Thursel? Me not sure me heard it right earlier…”

“T-t-thursel,” the red flyer stammered, confirming her name to the boy. “Hey, y-you have a sp-sp-speech thing too.”

She noticed…

“Friends and family used to it but strangers always give Petrie funny looks. Me no can help me speech, it what it is me guess,” the brown flyer explained, his curiosity slowly growing while his nervousness was subsiding slowly.

“S-s-same h-here,” Thursel replied with a sad look. “It sure isn’t e-easy. M-my brother hates m-m-me…”

“Yeah, that sound vaguely familiar…” Petrie sighed as he looked at Thursel a bit closer. The girl seemed to be one or two seasons younger than him, Petrie being a whole head taller than her despite him being short as it was. She also seemed to have his scrawny, boney body type. Not striking him as particularly good- or bad-looking, the uncountable bruises and lacerations of her skin, however, made it really hard to tell. Petrie couldn’t help but admire the colouration of the girl’s skin though. It was very colourful and bright after all and Petrie really liked that… although his favourite colour had to be green…

“You be okay now?” Petrie eventually asked when he couldn’t think of anything else to speak about. “It might not bleed anymore but it still look awfully painful…”

“Well… I-I’m used to b-being treated b-b-badly,” Thursel responded hesitantly. “Y-you see, Petrie, I… “she suddenly looked down in a depressed manner. “I-I’m just f-f-failing at everything I d-d-do.” A sob escaped her mouth. “You h-h-heard him speak to m-m-me, right? Mother s-s-sent me away b-b-because… b-b-because I-I just f-fail at e-everything!”

Petrie dreadfully observed how the girl slowly broke down in front of him. What a terrible life she must have had so far. At least he had friends to make up for all the crap his family put him through… and they were like medicine for his less admirable character traits. Thursel, on the other hand, seemed to him like someone who had never even gotten any appreciation for anything she had done. Now, those were obviously just speculations but Petrie couldn’t help but feel that this could have been him as well, had things gone only a little different in the past…

“Thursel…” Petrie spoke up quietly, as the female flyer went through a terrible meltdown - reduced to a tiny heap of flesh and skin kneeling on the ground while covering her bruised face with her lacerated wings. “Me think me know what it like to be you…” He kept his distance but walked a few steps closer as if supporting her mutedly. “You know, me no learn how to fly for very long time because me afraid of heights. Me family was desperate and they very angry because me such a failure. Me learned it eventually when my life was on line but me still kinda fail Great Day of Flyers a while back. Me siblings bully me a lot and of course they mock me talking…”

As he said these words, the girl only cried harder and more desperately. It was hard to watch for Petrie but what could he do to make the poor soul feel at least a little better?

*

Minutes went by as Petrie stood awkwardly beside the weeping form of Thursel. Despite his best efforts, he simply didn’t know how to help the situation at all. He’d been comforting Ducky a few times in the past and the other way around as well but surely he couldn’t just… give a stranger - and a girl at that, a hug?

“T-thursel?” his croaky voice eventually echoed through the little clearing in the forest. “Me no know what to do to make you feel better b-but… if there something me can do… just tell Petrie?”

The girl didn’t respond in her misery but Petrie noticed that she had started to struggle against her tears. However, no matter how hard she tried, she didn’t even have the strength to pull herself back onto her feet, collapsing flat onto the ground, crying ever so desperately.

Thursel… me feel so sad about this…

Petrie couldn’t bear to watch her any longer lest he’d probably start to uncover all the sadness that was lingering in his very own soul - he had to do something!

“Hold on me wings, me pull you up…” he eventually muttered, an awkward expression on his face as he offered the girl his own paws to hold on. The female was too weak to look up but stretched her arms from her for the boy to grab.

This so awkward...

Their hands soon made contact and, without much hesitation, Petrie carefully pulled her back on her feet, her wobbly legs barely capable of holding her small weight. He was still thinking of something to say, something to do when, all of a sudden, Thursel’s legs gave way, falling right into Petrie’s arms who caught the falling body without hesitation. Thursel picked up where she had left off, weeping and wailing in a mixture of pain and self-loathing.

*

As the girl wept into his chest, arms clinging onto him, Petrie could only return the gesture as best as he could. Also, he would occasionally speak to her in a quiet tone, telling her not to worry and that things would be alright soon. As he had learned from his mother after failing to comfort Ducky long ago, those words were often helpful regardless of the truth they held. Petrie didn't quite dare to do any of the other techniques though. He hardly knew Thursel and her being a flyer girl made things so awkward for him in the first place. If the girl hadn't collapsed into his wings, he wouldn't be embracing her right now for sure.

“Me sure curious about that…”
Petrie mused while gently patting her back, her cries becoming a little less desperate and sad. ”Why she trust stranger when everyone she know is jerk?” The flyer couldn't quite find a good answer but he'd ask her later.

Finally, after an extended, heartbreaking time, Petrie almost succumbing to his own heartaches, Thursel's wails and sobs slowly mitigated though, even after she had calmed down, she didn't quite seem too eager to leave her current position.

"You feel better now?" Petrie eventually asked, unsure what to do now. It had taken her a good amount of time to recover from her meltdown and she was still shaking a little.

"I... I really n-n-needed that..." Thursel replied after a short pause, appearing to be slightly embarrassed about what happened. "Big brother n-n-never allowed me to c-cry - he always b-b-beats m-me w-when I d-do..." Finally, she released her tight grip on the brown flyer, her legs still shaking but supporting her weight for the time being. "Thank you... you... you d-didn't need t-to stick around yet y-you did..."

"Me worried about you after all," Petrie defended his actions. "You hurt and you can't fly, how can me just leave?" Muttering, he added. "It not like me have anything better to do, me not really feel like fighting over girls with likes of Aphteron..."

"T-thank you," Thursel repeated, wiping the last tears from her beak. "I f-f-feel m-much better now!"

At least me not do bad job then...

"That good to hear," Petrie spoke though he couldn't quite feel happy yet. Ever since coming to this place he hadn't been smiling at all. Loneliness truly made people change…and, in a way, part of his childhood was dying each day he spent here as he slowly matured.

“Though there one thing me curious about. Me surprised you trusting me so easily. Everyone me see here is distrusting of everyone..”

“You… you’re d-different…” Thursel replied uncertainly, looking away sadly. “Just like m-m-me…”

“Yeah, me guess so,” Petrie muttered, pleased with the answer though it wasn’t exactly a mood booster.

A longer pause occurred..

"So... what now?" Petrie puzzled, both looking at each other awkwardly..

"Well, I... " Thursel contemplated quickly. "I d-don't know..." The girl looked down again as she once again realized that she was without a home now.

"He so mean, that not how you treat family," Petrie ranted in deep understanding. "Me kinda hate siblings for how they act too but it never occur to me to hurt them or make them leave home. That just not right, no no no." Suddenly, something in his chest stung as he accidently replicated Ducky's catchphrase.

Ducky...

"Well, what you gonna do now? He not let you back home, do he?" Petrie questioned, somewhat concerned for the girl. Even if he'd just met her, she was the closest to an acquaintance he had in these lands.

"I think he really m-m-means it..." the strawberry-coloured flyer lamented. "What do I do now? I can barely move r-right n-now and... and..."

"No panic," Petrie advised as he saw another meltdown in the bowel, Thursel raising her voice as despair was beginning to manifest itself in the girl. "We figure something out. For now me think you best stay here since you injured."

"I... I guess so," Thursel replied quietly as her nerves slowly calmed.

We? is he going to stick around me even longer to help me?

"B-but... I only really feel c-comfortable i-in a cavern. My brother s-sleeps in the o-o-open and I h-h-hate it!"

Well, me have cave... Petrie mused as he contemplated how to help Thursel out in the long-term.

"Oh how c-can he j-just leave me, I am... l am s-still a child!" she exclaimed in a mixture of anger and fear. "I-I can't live on my own yet!"

Petrie looked at her sadly. He knew too well how she was feeling - he was still homesick but he was old enough to manage it by now. Thursel on the other hand was indeed still a child in both appearance and nature as far as he could tell though she seemed to be close to the Time of Great Growing.

Me sure wonder how many cold times she already old... Petrie pondered as he tried to understand her behavior. Judging by her size compared to his, she shouldn't be too much of a child anymore since he had grown quite significantly yet only towering over her by a mere head even though males tended to be bigger. Admittedly, his growth spurt hadn't been nearly as significant as his friends' and, more importantly, he was now the smallest of his family since he started growing late. Still, he had a hard time believing that Thursel was as young as her behavior and thinking suggested. Although he was well aware of his own immaturity in certain aspects, it was still striking to the brown flyer.

Well, me just ask her later... Petrie decided but first he needed to reply.

"Me not quite adult either," he reasoned, a faraway glance onto the distant horizon confirming his very own struggles. "But you learn how to deal with certain things when you have to. It may not be pretty - and there no easy way, but it possible to adapt. Me miss home, me miss everyone there but me had to come here.” Adding to his point, Petrie then remembered a journey a had made long long ago. “What if you suddenly all alone, lose parents, family… anyone? What you do then? Give up?”

The girl fell into a contemplative state. “W-what do you mean, Petrie?”

Petrie sighed. “Well, me just want to point out that… world can be cruel but it up to you how to deal with it. Me know orphan who has no parents and still live happy life now. Me sure you can live on your own if you have to. It no pleasant as me just noticed coming here but it best me can do. “Hesitantly, he added. “Well, and it what probably best for you too. Or you wanna live with jerk of a brother who only looking at tail not giving damn about you?”

“I… I see…” Thursel spoke quietly as the message began to sink in. It was true that living with her brother was nothing short of hell and it wasn’t much better at home either. She’d never been appreciated for anything, labelled as a loser and good-for nothing not just by her brother but her whole family, in fact. Did she even want to return to such an environment that only caused her grief?

“So w-what you are t-trying to say is… that I should c-c-cut my ties to m-m-my family?” the girl wondered, her facial expression hard to read.

“Maybe,” came the boy’s short answer. “That not my decision. Me no know you enough so me can’t tell. What me notice though is that you not happy the way things are right now. So maybe change might make things better for you?”

Would that really change things? Thursel was naturally doubtful about this. Terrible or not, they were still talking about her family, the only social environment that she ever had, although far from a healthy one. Could she really cut ties with her family and start a new life even though she was barely old enough to care for herself? Even though she was the definition of pathetic and useless?

“I… am going to think a-about it, okay?” she answered after some thinking which seemed to please the boy. “It’s true… I-I’m not happy. Just… lonely and s-sad a-and p-pathetic a-a-and a c-c-crybaby!”

Petrie sent a contemplative gaze her way.

“W-what!? It is true i-i-isn’t it?” she puffed as she reflected on her own personality.

“Thursel, me learn lots of things during my journey so far. Me learn lots of things me thought me not able to do. Me still get nervous a lot and me weak and small compared to most other flyers here,” Petrie explained self-consciously. “Me used to be mental wreck easily and me still do but me slowly learn to accept me as me are. There be anything you like about yourself?”

Was there even a thing that she liked about herself? Thursel pondered about this for a long time yet she couldn’t find a single thing. Disheartened, she shook her head.

“If you wanna be happy, first you need to accept yourself, know your faults, try to accept them or try to change them.” Petrie was surprised by the things that escaped his own beak. This girl was so similar to him in many ways yet he acted as if he knew so much better when, in fact, he still was the scaredy egg who was afraid of the dark, smoking mountains and strangers, especially if they were girl flyers.

“Well, maybe you find different way too. There no guarantee it work. Me just in process of learning about myself too after all…”

“T-thank you f-for the advice,” Thursel spoke in a quiet, sad voice, clearly in low spirits, her head hanging. “Petrie… can I-I ask you s-something?”

“Sure,” the boy affirmed, looking at her red features with curiosity.

“Well…” There was one thing that the young girl was puzzling about for a while now. It may have been true that there seemed to be a striking similarity in their mutual struggles but Thursel still couldn’t quite tell why Petrie would even bother to hang around someone like her. Was she really worthy of his attention?

“Petrie, y-you have been so kind towards me b-but… you didn’t have to stay… I-I’m not saying I w-wouldn’t like you to but…” Embarrassed, she looked at her feet.

“Me get it,” Petrie sighed. “You think me wasting me time?”

“K-k-kind of…” the girl spoke, wincing, the way Petrie spoke scaring her.

“Ugh,” Petrie growled in sudden anger. “Me hate how you such idiot because your family full of idiots. They make you so pathetic and all, they make you the way you are, that what me trying to say earlier. You really need some self-esteem. Me know me no good example either but me see you actually believe your brother that you a piece of shit. You not, Thursel, you not what they say, okay?”

Thursel finally looked up at the boy after turning away in fear due to his rant. It took a while but it eventually dawned at her that he was actually not yelling at her.

“I-I’m n-n-not?”

“Just because everyone say you a loser, it not mean you are. Believing you are just make it worse and worse.” Petrie sighed. “Anyway, to answer your question, there be three reasons. Me already tell you one. There just nothing in particular me need to do. Me bored a lot. But that not important reason. Important reason is me pity you. Me knew when me see your eyes back then when we first meet that you going though lots of pain and me can’t stand to watch.”

“Then why d-d-do you watch?” Thursel interrupted with mild curiosity, her fear of being scolded almost gone now.

“Well, that good question. Me guess it because me know how it feels like that me want to help. Me know it suck and me hate to see others go through while me do nothing…” Petrie looked at her sadly. “Besides, you first flyer me meet here who not hostile and mean. It so lonely here and me no like that. Petrie would be happy just having someone to talk to every now and then....”

Thursel looked at Petrie in a mixture of awe and uncertainty, feeling uneasy and happy at the same time. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, her feelings were rather similar. Constantly being alone, without a friend to talk to… it was just the same for her. Just experiencing the generosity of the boy and his kind company and the comfort he offered her during a particularly low moment of her life made her put all reservations aside and overcome her nervousness.

“I-I-I f-feel the s-same! P-please let us t-talk every now and t-then!” the red flyer requested, even bowing slightly to underline the sincerity of her inquiry.

“Sure,” Petrie replied, a sheepish grin quickly flashing across his face. “Me do that! Though until your injuries better me be stuck with you anyway, heh.”

“Y-yeah, if y-you insist…” Thursel stuttered before a quiet chuckle slipped past her mouth.

“Well, yeah me do,” Petrie replied, a look up at the sky confirming that the night was getting closer, maybe another 30 minutes before sunset. “You hungry? Me gonna fly up and rip off some leaves for you to eat.”

“M-m-much appreciated…” Thursel stammered quietly, the reality of her temporary disability to fly making her feel uneasy. Depending so much on others had never resulted in bright memories after all. Even though Petrie was unlike most other flyers she had met in her life, the fear of being called out for her uselessness still remained and the girl would make sure to express her gratitude whenever it was due.

The two young flyers ate their fill and Petrie helped his new companion to tend to her injuries more, covering the deeper scratches with the goo of some curing herbs. It wasn’t long before the Bright Circle sank below the horizon, the two adolescent flyers laying down in their makeshift sleeping spot, falling asleep quickly after an exhausting and eventful day. But both flyers had an expression of peace and tranquil on their beaks, knowing they would wake up in the presence of a friend.

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A huge shoutout to the lovely zero-point for naming Thursel, well, Thursel  :PAli

I guess I have a little more to say about this particular chapter. First of all, I need to state that this was all written over a year ago already (and I think it slightly shows in my writing style even though I've reworked a few phrases just now). I only decided today that this would be the next installment of the series. Reading through what I had, it seemed convenient that both Ducky's and Petrie's storylines ended on a night scene with this chapter so instead of mixing the two perspectives as had been my original plan back then I combined all of this lengthy scene into one chapter for there was no good point to stop at for dramatic cliffhangers or something like that :PAli

I should probably make something very clear about Thursel here. So it seems that all of my major OCs end up being some depressed shits and I really have no idea why. Take Cho and Lizzie from SDP and now Thursel as well, they're all very similar yet for completely different reasons. Rest assured that Thursel won't be a cheap copy of Cho even if it might look like it right now. It just seems that I like working with such characters and I can hardly tell why such backstories give me inspiration. Anyway, Thursel will be a major character in this tale so I'd better do a good job developing her  :angel

I guess I should also mention this while I have the opportunity. The story is officially back on track and is expected to receive slow but regular updates from now on. I added chapter titles to all previous chapters, however I did not make any structural changes to the earlier chapters even though I think that I could write them a little better at my current level. I simply want to revive this story and sincerely hope that it has not been forgotten yet. I've got a lot of material for Petrie's part written down from over a year ago and Ducky's part just received a good portion of planning so I'm good to advance in the story at last.

Let me know what you think, any review is much appreciated, yep yep yep  :)littlefoot

Sovereign

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Re: Not Supposed To Be
« Reply #32 on: February 08, 2019, 03:31:17 PM »
Well, this was a rather interesting turn to this story. Thursel was already introduced in the last installment but her character development was taken  much further here. Her and Petrie’s relationship has potential to be a really interesting one and it seems like her introduction added more promise to his plot. Sadly, it seems likely that Thursel’s situation will grow worse before it’ll get better.

It is true that your OCs seem to have common character traits rather often and I would be lying if I said it isn’t noticeable. Even then, if Thursel indeed turns out to be her own character, that will certainly justify this rather familiar-feeling scene. As for what happens from now on, it will be interesting to see how her family will react to Petrie’s actions and how Ducky will fit into the larger picture in the chapters to come. Whatever will come to pass, Thursel will likely give this story a welcome touch that it seemed to crave for.

rhombus

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Re: Not Supposed To Be
« Reply #33 on: February 23, 2019, 03:35:22 AM »
First of all, at the risk of repeating myself, I must apologize for the delay in getting to this latest chapter. In many ways Thursel's situation here is both horrific in terms of the abuse she received, but also traumatic to Petrie as well who sees echoes in his own experiences (albeit with less violence).  Worse yet, in his case, with his relative weakness compared to the other flyers he must also tread carefully and cannot rush in to be the hero.  What he can do however, as he has done here, is to try to provide emotional support to the female and to try to make her see her situation in a clearer perspective.  In fact this entire situation reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from a television show that I used to watch:

Quote
"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.

"A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

"Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says,

'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'"

The point of that story being that one who has been through a situation can be more valuable to someone going through the same situation than any expert.  Having empathy for a situation is much more important in times of hardship, and, in Petrie's case, as he has been through his own struggles dealing with weakness and not being "good enough" and being bullied, he can relate to her experience and point her in the right direction.  I certainly hope for Thursel's sake that she takes Petrie's words to heart.  :yes