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rhombus

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Fanfiction voting 2018
« on: September 30, 2018, 11:01:35 pm »
Voting will begin for the fanfiction awards upon the conclusion of the two tie-breaker votes for the forum awards, which will be at midnight October 8, 2018.  At that time this topic will be opened for voting.  Voting will last from October 8 at midnight to November 30 at midnight.  However, to allow people to begin reading and preparing their reviews (there is an incredible total of 23 stories to go through this year), I will go ahead and list the stories that are available for review.

If you wish to vote in private, please send me a PM with your votes. Otherwise, please post your votes in this topic.

This is the voting section for the fanfiction awards only. All fanfictions that have been submitted by your fellow members for voting are listed below. Please only post on this topic to submit your vote, do not ask questions or have discussions here. For questions, please click here and comment on the rules.

You may vote on as many fanfictions as you'd like, but you must have read them first. Please show us in your review that you've truly read the fanfiction.

Please copy the following form to vote:

Quote
Name of fanfiction: NAME HERE
Rating: #/10
Review: REVIEW HERE

The following fanfictions have been submitted for you to vote on:

Name of fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Short summary: Based upon a roleplay with Historian1912 and set in the Seven Hunters continuity. Mender has the reputation as being the best healer in the Mysterious Beyond, helping all who require it, but that was not always the case. Follow Mender as she recalls how a lowly fastbiter eventually found her place in life once she met a most unusual pack. This is Mender's Tale.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15045.0
Author(s): Rhombus and Historian1912
Any other comment: - This is the sequel to the Seven Hunters and Songs of the Hunters.  If you do not read those two stories then not much in this story will make sense to you.

Name of fanfiction: First Impressions
Short summary: Continuation and prequel of sorts to Reunions, my latest one-shot. Also a response to the Gang of Five prompt challenge. Dalmar has a crush on a certain female threehorn. But can he tell her these feelings without being corrupted by the "bad influences" that she calls her friends?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/i...showtopic=16185
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: -

Name of fanfiction: Nahoda's Gratitude
Short summary: "Well it had been two days until a near-death experience. I must be getting better at this whole surviving thing!" Nahoda noted sarcastically. The fastrunner's decision to leave the Valley of the Rivers, made a few days prior, was now looking like the best course of action. It's just a shame he hadn't come to that conclusion before Chomper's father came on the scene...
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15848.0
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: -

Name of fanfiction: Nahoda's Concern
Short summary: My response for the February 2018 Gang of Five prompt challenge which involves making a story involving undying love. Set in the Mender's Tale continuity. When Nahoda asked his mate a question that had been on his mind for awhile, he had no idea it would set into motion events involving vines, a tree, a horribly confused flyer, and a future awkward conversation with the in-laws.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15939.0
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: -

Name of fanfiction: The Curse of Speed
Short summary: Here is my relatively short entry for the March 2018 Land Before Time prompt challenge, which was to make a LBT legend. In this story we see a bit of Ruby's siblings and parents. After a brush with near-death, Arial is about to learn a very important lesson about the history of her people, and, along the way, about life itself.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15967.0
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: -

Name of fanfiction: The Land Before Time 1 - Novellization (gof thread name: TLBT fanfiction series)
Short summary: Novellization of the first Land Before Time. Taking on the movie we all love, adding details and depth as well as showing the movie in the order of scenes that was originally intended.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15267.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: In Progress

Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past 2.0
Short summary: I've revamped the original story a lot so I decided to upload it as a separate new story. Sleepstories are haunting Littlefoot, Ali, Shorty and all other longnecks. They embark on a journey that will lead everyone to a certain oasis far away. Based on LBT 10 but with the addition of Ali and Shorty, whose mysterious past is eventually going to catch up with him...
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16123.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: In Progress

Name of fanfiction: (Legends and) Adventures of Sucky
Short summary: Sucky is the unluckiest swimmer ever. Hatched with several mistakes and despised by everyone, she is running into uncountable unlucky situations ranging from hilarious to painful and tragic. As narrated by our favourite seven dinosaurs.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16023.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: Completed! Legend of Sucky (link: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15971.0 )is a prequel you may want to consider as well as it tells the backstory of Sucky 

Name of fanfiction: Not Supposed To Be
Short summary: Love can be utterly cruel, especially when you can't be together with the one you love. Ducky and Petrie have developed strong romantical feelings for each other, however both of their lives are turned upside down when Petrie makes an important decision. Can their love prevail regardless of their differences or are they just not supposed to be?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15827.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: On Hiatus, likely to resume receiving updates before the voting period is finishing so maybe wait a little with this one.

Name of fanfiction: The Final Adventure
Short summary: When Grandma Longneck is about to die of old age, Grandpa Longneck joins her in her final adventure. This story is about what undying love means.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15935.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: Finished!

Name of fanfiction: Our Past and Our Future
Short summary: Adolescence is an awkward time of self discovery as well as physical growth. Chomper seems to experience the most because of his Sharptooth heritage. But when he and his friends meet an unlikely friend during one of their adventures, things might be turning out for the better. Series of Slice of Life Oneshots related to "Past and Future".
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16028.msg470500#msg470500
Author(s): LBTlover247
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: Five Stages of Grief
Short summary: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Those were the feelings that young Ducky felt at the prospect of having to bid farewell to her adoptive brother. AU of The Big Freeze where Spike actively decides to join the spiketail herd instead of Ducky making the choice for him.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16172.0
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Any other comment: August GOF Fanfic Challenge prompt response.

Name of fanfiction: Our Safe Haven
Short summary: As the Night Circle rises high into the sky, a single Swimmer looks up to the stars above and ponders a curious question to herself: Are they truly free in the Great Valley after all?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16134.0
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Any other comment: -

Name of fanfiction: Scrambled Eggs
Short summary: Littlefoot finds himself forced to make a tough call when the gang encounters a sharptooth hatchling and debates on what to do with it. Little did he nor any of his friends suspect that his choice would come back and bite him in the tail when the valley finds itself under attack.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16146.0
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Any other comment: -

Name: "A Swim of Silence"
Summary: Ducky takes a silent swim through the river of the valley in remembrance of a once close friend.
Link: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16061.0
Author: DiddyKF1

Name: "A Swimmer's Sad Secret"
Summary: After a horrific nightmare that sees her revisit her worst memory, Ducky tells her friends the story of her long-lost friend.
Link: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16145.0
Author: DiddyKF1
Comment: A follow-up to "A Swim of Silence," that was requested by one of my FF.net followers.

Name of fanfiction: Life Went On
Short summary: When confronted with the loss of his mate, Bron's search for his son turns to desparation.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15903
Author(s): DarkWolf91
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: Too Dark to Find It
Short summary: Etta looks for answers in the aftermath of her sister's death.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16068
Author(s): DarkWolf91
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: Separate Ways
Short summary: An unfortunate misunderstanding sets forth a long chain of events, initiating a desperate search and finally leading to a conclusion no one had would have wanted to happen. What follows is an adventure that leads to many wondrous journeys and fearful nightmares that leave no one unchanged. Follow Ruby and Petrie as they struggle against all the odds to survive the Separate Ways.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15514.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: The Perils of the Deep
Short summary: During their journey towards the Big Water, Mo tells Littlefoot a tale from his kind's distant past. When two swimmers try to help their herd escape the loss of their home, the duo will soon face a whole new and hostile world they have never known. Hearing their sad tale, the swimmer's fates prevent the longneck from ever looking at the bottomless waters the same way again.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15957.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: A Quest Among the Frozen Sky Stars
Short summary: The height of the Cold Time is upon the Hanging Rock and a certain fast runner family is preparing for this joyful occasion. However, when one of them embarks on a small journey to show his appreciation to his family, things get complicated. It will take all his wit and the help of a mysterious stranger for Orchid to make his way back home through the cold winds of the season.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15838.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: The Reluctant Goodbye
Short summary: After nearly losing their only child to a cowardly assault from Red Claw's minions, Chomper's parents have to make a difficult decision. In the face of this rising threat, their choice is clear but coping with this temporary parting of the ways will prove to be a somber challenge for the young sharptooth himself to accept…
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16142.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment: None

Name of fanfiction: The Flame in the Woods
Short summary: Two days after the Gang's arrival to the Valley, Littlefoot and Cera's nascent friendship is on the verge of falling apart following a backlash from their families. However, a chilling encounter in the still-strange Great Valley with the unknown brings the two friends together and reminding that there's things in the world none of them have known of until this dark evening.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15745.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment: None
« Last Edit: November 19, 2018, 08:12:19 pm by rhombus »


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2018, 04:25:53 pm »
Fanfiction voting is now open! Also be advised that the Appreciated Member voting is also ongoing at this time.  I encourage you to vote if you have not already done so.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2018, 10:17:02 pm »
And here begins my arduous quest to hopefully review every single fic on this list! I suspect I’ll probably pull the mean average of the scores up in general since I’m quite easy to please and given my nature, it’s practically incapable for me to be handing out too low a score. Grade inflation, if you will, for those in the education line. :P

I’m naturally shy and have historically kept many of my thoughts to myself, so this review voting is a challenge to myself as well — a challenge to review everything. Will I succeed in completing 20 out of 20 reviews? Or will I plunder and falter into the abyss of reading a ridiculous amount of words just to come up with words of my own? Who knows?

Regardless of whether I succeed or not, I’ll try to make these as in-depth as I can. The review order will probably be quite random, but you can expect longer ones to be later. Mender’s Tale and Separate Ways will probably be the last two up (if I can even get them done in time! :p) since I have to binge the former from Chapter 15 on, and the latter from the flippin’ beginning. Oh, the humanity. Save me.


Name of Fanfiction: A Swim of Silence
Rating: 10/10
Review: Let me start this off by saying that this is one of the two stories of the June 2018 Fanfic Prompt Challenge (the other one is Soverign's The Road's End, The Friendship's Rebirth, which sadly wasn’t entered) that caught my eye enough for me to actually look up and eventually join GOF. So, it’s apt to say that I think that’s the highest praise which I can confer on this piece of prose.

Because that’s what it is — a prose of ~7,000 words imbued with pure, unadulterated heartbreak. A damning piece of work which draws heavily from a true tale of tragedy. Of the whys, what-ifs, what-could-have-beens…

Relating the tale to real life is arguably it’s biggest draw. Everyone who knows the story of Judith Barsi (I pity those who come into this story unaware) knows what’s coming even before it happens, which is exactly what makes it so damn infuriating to see fate play its hand, with one nary to do a thing to stop it. Ducky’s reaction upon hearing the news sells the whole thing perfectly.

But besides the tragic undertones and real-life parallels, the ending scene of Ducky dedicating her swim to her long lost friend probably hit me harder than Judy’s death. There is nothing more satisfying, personally, as a stressed individual who holds on to past regrets, to reflect upon them and let them go…

…Look upon the good times, not the bad.

Pretty much a summation of the entire story, and the real-life tale of Ducky and her voice actress as well. Despite everything, Judy has given Ducky the gift of friendship, and Judith has pretty much brought Ducky as a character to life on screen.

Yeah, in case you can’t tell from the essay I’d written above, this story has managed to touch my psyché deeply. As a result, I’m awarding it the highest score I can give… a perfect 10.


Name of Fanfiction: Life Went On
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: Short, yet despairingly sweet. Bron’s clearly depressed, and pretty much reacts the way that someone in grief would — by lashing out at the world around him.

It’s a sight to behold when his world comes crashing down. The scene of scarlet anger, the frenzied clash against the sharptooth is sickeningly written, almost as though the longneck is moving through the motions as someone ready to lose it, but ironically end up winning the approval of the longnecks following him… all except his son, nowhere to be found. What Bron yearns for, he doesn’t get. And yet the world doesn’t care… nor should it expect to.

My only minor gripe that I have is that I feel that the title seems a little off… no offense meant, of course! It's just that for a story titled “Life Went On”, the “life continues on” portion of Bron picking up the pieces after his loss was a bit short, since the story is more focused on him coping with the news and relegates his cold emptiness to the conclusion.

But as a short story, I really can’t fault it for that. Shorty’s cameo and the eventual tie-in to LBT10 was also pretty neat, and overall it’s a gripping tale of angst for a longneck father who feels as though he’d lost everything.
A quaint creature who soars when the Night Circle is highest in the dark sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer.

In terms of LBT, love to write stories! :)
Current Fics: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky, Five Stages of Grief, Scrambled Eggs, and Our Safe Haven.



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Sovereign

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2018, 03:04:33 pm »
It's also time for me to start posting my reviews here. As I did last year, I'll submit them in sets of four in the order they are on the participant list. As a reminder, I'm not going to do other reviews until I'm done with the awards so it'll be a while before I comment any new chapters or stories. Today, all my reviews will be on rhombus' fics and even if some of the ratings aren't as high as they could be, I hope to do justice to all these stories with my reviews.

Name of fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Rating: 9/10
Review: While there have been relatively few chapters since the last year’s awards, they have still been more than enough to prove that the Mender’s Tale is one of the best long fics on GoF. During the past 12 months, there have been many intriguing plot twists as well as awesome character moments that truly make justice to the legacy of the Hunters series.

From Wrok and Questor’s interesting plots to the steadily widening web of intrigue that is slowly engulfing all of the characters involved, this fic has managed to create many things to look forward to. Some of my favorite characters have been poor Gyors who’s still recovering from his sickening injury and Orchid whose entrance into the adult world seems still highly awkward. In addition, I’ve liked how you still manage to add humor into this great mix the way you’ve done with the tiny biter chapter, for example. That was a nice break from the plotting and death for a change. Another highlight was the great array emotions you’ve created in your new chapter concerning Mender’s looming death and her past glories.

Penol and Ignis’ attempts to move against Wrok have been interesting to follow and it is the hidden runners’ plot which will most likely cause the characters’ final plunge into chaos. Right now, this story has left me wondering how Wrok is going to be put down and at what cost… Regrettably, I cannot give this fic quite the same rating as last year as in the end, there haven’t been many dramatic, life-changing developments since the last awards (aside from the latest installment) and in addition, the great amount of dialogues in the lengthy chapters have occasionally made this story a bit hard to follow at some points. The new “explaining” chapter was very helpful but still, the mass of different characters and their minor scenes have become quite distracting at times and these things explain the 0,5 rating drop this time.

However, that could change at any time. Even if it seems Mender will survive due to an unexpected helper this time, I’m sure all the emotions and relationships that have been so carefully established will be paid justice until this mammoth of a story is over. Even if the last chapters have been a bit slow, I know the continuation of Mender’s Tale isn’t going to disappoint.

Name of fanfiction: First Impressions
Rating: 7/10
Review: The premise of Cera trying to find help in order to approach a possible boyfriend was a rather nice one and I quite liked the pacing in this short fic. From the initial talk between Littlefoot and Cera to the final reunification at the end, the simple but well-thought plot was quite nicely built.

I especially liked Dalmar’s characterization here as his will not to upset his parents as well as his relaxation when Ruby and Chomper appeared were quite fun to read and I enjoyed their dialogue rather much. The following leadup to Cera’s starday surprise was well elaborated from all perspectives and the reunification of the whole group in the “present day” scene sealed this fic quite well. However, the shortness and the quick progression of scenes made this story feel rather rushed at points and that dampened the long-term impact of this story a bit.

But even then, this story tied nicely with Reunions and it was a funny and quite effective look into Dalmar and the Gang’s pasts. The conversations and the multitude of different character roles in under 3k words was perhaps my favorite thing in this fic even if it wasn’t the most impactful one.


Name of fanfiction: Nahoda’s Gratitude
Rating: 7/10
Review: This was a pretty good one-shot ficlet that managed to create an intense and quite emotional setting despite its short length. Nahoda’s fears about Dein’s attack as well as the banter of the two sharpteeth worked quite well. I especially liked Nahoda’s fearful vail and the following, brief exchange between the hunter and the possible prey. The way Dein tried to bring the struggle to an end just proved how bleak things can be for a fastrunner.

Yet, Terri’s intervention and the following opening for the fastrunner’s escape changed this story’s course and it was really nice to see how very ordinary and of little interest this whole situation was for the sharpteeth as opposed to the omnivore. Whereas the predators were only having sort of a contest with each other, Nahoda was literally fighting for his life the whole time. It proves just how cruel the world can be sometimes. While this was a pretty nice read, this story didn’t really have too much going on in it and because of it, it wasn’t too memorable. Yet, considering its length and focus on about one minute of three dinosaurs’ lives, good job with this one.

Name of fanfiction: Nahoda’s Concern
Rating: 7,5/10
Review: In more ways than just the title, this story reminds me of the previous one. It provided a really good look at Nahoda and Arial’s relationship and to their growing acceptance of each other’s faults but again, it was a pretty quick read. It was really nice to learn more about Nahoda, though, as he has been a really interesting character in Mender’s Tale as well.

The male’s concerns about his overall situation were built quite well as were his mate’s feelings about his gloom. The following dialogue worked excellently and as was Rexas’ quick appearance in the duo’s lives. His part was extremely brief but he worked quite nicely as a leadup to Arial and Nahoda’s last conversation during this story. I quite liked Nahoda’s awkwardness and Arial’s firm but understanding speech as well as the concluding, warm realization of their true situation.

But as I’ve said, despite the good character moments, I’m not too crazy about simple slice-of-life stories as they often fail to make themselves that impactful and regrettably, this story is no different. It served as a further, interesting way of developing the two fastrunners’ characters further than is possible in Mender’s Tale but as a standalone fic, this was a bit too simple for me. But that’s only my preferences and otherwise, this was a nicely written fic in its own right.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2018, 03:11:36 pm by Sovereign »

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2018, 10:13:53 am »
Alright, here are a couple more story reviews. I'd caught up on almost every story in this list that isn't titled Mender's Tale or Separate Ways, so the next couple of upcoming reviews shouldn't take too long... as long as I learn to stop writing essays for them. :^^spike


Name of Fanfiction: First Impressions
Rating: 8/10
Review: The interactions between a sheepish yet trying-to-play-it-off-as-regular Cera with Littlefoot is probably one of the most humorous parts of this. Chomper and Ruby with Dalmar is also quite an unusual interaction as the threehorn attempted to play it brave as one would, despite faltering and forgetting about it pretty much instantaneously.

I must say that while Rhombus is known for being able to write and put our beloved characters in ridiculously dark situations, as an author he also has a knack for weaving scenes of pure wacky outlandishness—usually after said dark situation in the longfics—which oftentimes leaves a viewer wondering, 1) Did that really just happen? and 2) What the blazes just happened?

Well, this is pretty much one of those stories. The sheer chain of events that led to a threehorn being covered in a substance which they would normally eat instead, despite being outlandish, actually winds up being believable due to the writing. We don’t see Cera’s reaction to her Star Day surprise in the past, but I suspect that if I were in the shoes of someone in the vicinity there, I’d be shaking my head in utter disbelief.

Certainly a wacky first impression for someone to make, alright. :P


(this one is getting spoiler tagged a bit to not ruin it for anyone who hadn’t read it yet :p )
Name of Fanfiction: The Perils of the Deep
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: Linking the song “Big Water” to the terrors of the prehistoric seas is a really smart move. The deep ocean is a truly terrifying place even today, let alone 65 million years in the past.

This story also does a good job at situational irony. Mo’s apprehensiveness at the telling the tale is a huge hint to the reader that the ending of the swimmers’ misadventures will not be a positively crafted one. And yet despite everything, although Wol and Azurefin slowly but surely realize that their adventures to the depths of the Great Water Path was a mistake, they never actually truly believe in the despair of it all, believing beyond hope that they’ll survive and make it out alive right to the end even though they’re slowly being pelted with shortfall after shortfall.

As if fate is messing with the two Big Water swimmers, a whole flurry of close calls almost makes this dream of surviving believable, which persists right until one of them is cruelly snatched away right at the very end. After which, the reality of it all comes crashing down on the remaining mortally-wounded Azurefin as he scampered to the surface with one less sister, soon to join her. The one sole grace is that he is able to relay his tale to pass on in legend before he passes… which is sort of what the siblings had wanted when they set off in the first place, even though they probably never expected their lives to be the price to be paid. :(

Though I won’t call it the two Big Water Swimmers' daring adventurous swim a tragedy, rather it seems to be moreso a misadventure. Although Wol and Azurefin were foolhardy enough to risk everything for the sake of adventuring (and maybe a hint of pride or doing something no one else has done before), their willing risks in the pursuit of exploration serves as a haunting warnings to future travelers. It was a risk that 100% most certainly did not pay off, but they did experience something none of their kinds have experience before… or since.

Mo’s talk with Littlefoot, despite not being the main focus of the story, was pretty good as well. It’s a unique spin of seeing the perpetually optimistic Mo shudder in fright and talk about the harrowing horrors of the deep Big Water to a confused land dweller, whose perception is worlds apart from his — pretty much adding to the unusual friendship they share in Journey to Big Water. It’s a solidly crafted tale overall, especially for a species which is rarely covered in LBT stories.


Name of Fanfiction: The Final Adventure
Rating: 8/10
Review: Is it ordained somewhere that Grandma and Grandpa must usually be finished off by sickness? :P

The acceptance of Grandpa Longneck in the face of an incurable diseases claiming his mate is something to behold. Even in his heavy words with Topps, he knows that the inevitable has come. In a sense, it’s also fitting that Topps be the one to send his eternal rival/friend off, as well as the trust that the two aged dinosaurs share now with longneck relinquishing the threehorn the duty of being forced to be the bearer of bad news to Littlefoot, who I sort of pity in this story. No doubt he’d be whacked with guilt when the news breaks.

Overall, the interactions and deep conversation shared between Grandpa Longneck and Topps, as well as the willingness to sacrifice himself for his mate is touching. It’s interesting to see just how these valley leaders have adapted to each other over the years.
A quaint creature who soars when the Night Circle is highest in the dark sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer.

In terms of LBT, love to write stories! :)
Current Fics: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky, Five Stages of Grief, Scrambled Eggs, and Our Safe Haven.



What is a signature? A miserable pile of secrets! Enough talk... scroll down already!

Sovereign

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2018, 02:57:01 pm »
Here's my next set of reviews, mostly covering Ducky123's stories. I'll try to get the next four done later this week. :Mo

Name of fanfiction: The Curse of Speed
Rating: 7,5/10
Review: The premise of this fic was a real pleasure to see as I truly enjoy the way you handle Ruby’s family and it was quite neat to see them tell a story of their kind’s past. Depsido’s story certainly was a well-thought out way to explain their species’ origin in the terms of ancient civilizations. The way you told the story through a song was a nice touch even if I’m not sure it provided this story with enough impact.

The first scenes with Arial’s nightmare and Detras’ loving and knowledgeable words was a perfect way to start this fic as it built the great atmosphere I’ve come to expect from this family. Detras’ wisdom and the playing of the children were presented in a great way that reminded me of why they’re some of my fav characters. As for the song itself, its format is both its strength and its weakness. While it was a novel and brave way to approach a short story and fitting for this premise, it didn’t feel quite powerful enough to really leave a mark on the reader. I liked the storyline and all but still, I’m not sure…

The ending was a good one and it lightened the situation up considerably. All in all, I liked this fic quite a lot but the song brings the rating down a bit. It was filled with fun dialogue but again, I must say, the plots of your short stories this year were quite simple compared to some of your work last year. Still, these were some good reads and I’m sure next year your stories will get even better.

Name of fanfiction: The Land Before Time 1 - Novellization
Rating: 8/10
Review: This is one story where I’m quite unsure on how to approach a review. On one hand, this shows the improving skills of the author quite concretely but on the other hand, it offers quite little excitement for obvious reasons. But in the end, this has offered distinct new perspectives into the narrative of the film we all know and love and I’ve enjoyed this rarely-updated but well-written fic thus far.

The one advantage a written narrative has to a film is its ability to dwell in the thought of the characters and this fic has delightfully deepened our understanding of what is going on within Littlefoot’s mind during the early parts of the film. The decision to keep most of this story in his perspective has worked quite well and this was quite well shown in the last chapter’s ending which left an eerie feel over the whole sequence, knowing what will follow.

I’ve also liked the many instances of extended dialogue and deepened character-analyses here and there as they have shown some ways to improve this story even further. Aside from the predictability and inevitability for the reader, there is one thing that that has left me thinking a bit. Aside from merely recreating the film, you could have done a few extra scenes as a whole to deepen our understanding of the circumstances of the Great Migration, in the spirit of rhombus and Horizon’s fics which you incorporated into your narrative but you know, new ones.  :p

In any case, this fic has retained most of the original film’s feeling and it has been a worthy effort to showcase just how the characters themselves saw these momentous events. Retelling other peoples’ stories may not be the magnum opus for the author but you have shown some really decent sense of finding interesting stuff to tell about the original film. All in all, this has been a good and interesting read thus far.

Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past 2.0
Rating: 8/10
Review: While I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see this story started all over again and be forced to wait for a good while to learn the actual continuation to the fic’s plot, I can now see that this rewriting was a good idea all. The contrast between the parts you’ve already rewritten compared to the original chapters is quite stark which in itself is a proof of how much you’ve learned during the journey known as Shorty’s Dark Past.

While the chapters you’ve done thus far are quite short, they’re written in a way which is quite close to the very best you’ve written thus far in terms of quality. The dialogue feels quite natural and especially the interactions between Bron and Shorty have been rather enjoyable thus far. The duo feels very true to what we’ve seen of them in the series and you’ve presented their motives and thoughts far better than before. Also, the Ali start was a good way to show her situation even if it didn’t raise my appreciation for her too much.

However, this suffers thus far from similar problems as your Novelization. While this one, as I said, is an improvement from the original version, it is still largely the same plot which kills most of the suspense for many chapters to come. Of course, I believe you have some interesting still in your sleeve that will make this story shine but I can only speak of the parts I’ve read thus far.

Yet, if we look at this fic from the perspective it will ultimately become, it could become a truly impressive one. I had hoped to learn what would become of the Gang, Hart and the others sooner but I can see that there are some mistakes you want to correct in your older narrative. This story is sure to improve in the future, though, and it’ll be intriguing to see just how much will change before we reach the part where you left off your original version.

Name of fanfiction: (Legends and) Adventures of Sucky
Rating: 7,5/10
Review: I think I opened my divided thoughts of this fic to a large degree in my original review but again, I have to point out that this story has some of the smoothest and in-character dialogue I’ve seen in a long, long time. The leadup to the stories is quite well written and of all the fics this year, I have the easiest time of seeing this as another scene from one of the films due to its good start and the banter between the Gang.

I also like the diversity and number of short stories built inside this fic itself and they fit the tellers’ personalities and the overall main scene really well. The characters’ interruption were another great feat that impressed me greatly while reading this. My favorite parts here were Pterano’s kind words to Sucky and Spike’s very understandable story. The contrast between, say, Chomper and Littlefoot’s tales were quite funny and it nicely mirrored the way they saw this whole meeting.

In my initial review, I may have put too much emphasis on my relative dislike of Sucky’s character and even if I still am not too fond of her, I now see this fic as a gathering of
different jokes and tales of the characters to entertain each other and Sucky was quite a nice way to do just that. The repeated plot point of Sucky’s unluckiness and the diversity of the tales made this fic feel a bit tedious at some points but nearly every time, some funny comment or accident washed those thoughts away and that’s the most important thing in this story.

All in all, while by no means perfect, this fic did much more right than wrong. It grabbed the feeling of the films in a way few stories can and even if the main character isn’t quite as funny as she’s tried to be made, she was a good vessel to pull the assuming events forward in a good pace. In any case, I’d say this story has grown on me a bit since I first read it so good job with it!

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2018, 10:53:15 am »
Me and Sovereign are currently playing ping-pong with the review waves, it would seem... :SmugSpike


Name of Fanfiction: The Land Before Time 1 - Novelization/TLBT fanfiction series
Rating: 8/10
Review: Surprisingly, novelizations of the original LBT (inclusive of… no, wait, especially the sequels) are not as common as one might think, since almost everyone who does adapt the tale of the journey of the five lost children to the Great Valley usually pulls their own twist on it, writes a short oneshot, or elects to instead revisit the chain of events through flashbacks to build up their own scenario.

But this fic doesn’t — in essence, it’s pure vanilla OG Land Before Time at its heart, with a sprinkle and dash of added dialogue and interactions. That’s unexpectedly a rarity, I must say. Something that's so seemingly obvious, yet surprisingly so underutilized.

While small little additions to the story like Littlefoot playing a more active role in the Sharptooth chase scene and Petrie’s additional hatch scene were nice touches, I can't rate this any higher for now as the novelization has yet to hit its true potential — with the key moments leading to the formation and building friendship of the Gang as they make their way to the legendary Great Valley. I'm very interested to see how the middle and end portions of the film is changed, adapted, and put into written prose for this adaptation.


Name of Fanfiction: The Reluctant Goodbye
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: Many have already said this in the reviews, but the “hows” of Chomper met with Ruby and why he'd headed off to the valley in the first place is a concept that was never really explored in-depth in the TV series.

So here, we see the beginning of that forced gambit in light of Red Claw’s attack. The reluctance of Chomper to leave and say goodbye to his parents as Red Claw and his minions force them to send their son away to safer lands is really well conveyed. The feelings and inner anguish that Chomper feels is honestly heartbreaking, especially so when he self-doubts himself and gets a little self-destructive at his mother’s insistence to separate, which is thankfully corrected by Terri insisting he isn’t a burden right before they leave for Hanging Rock.

It’s also interesting to see things from the fastrunners’ point of view — given that Detras views this whole affair pretty much as blackmail, and he’s well-justified in that when Dein pretty much threatens him to accept the deal by sheer, brutal force. He and his family are naturally terrified when they all meet face-to-face at Hanging Rock, but Chomper’s awkward introduction was really well-timed on the author’s part, completely in-character, and certainly eased their fears slightly.

Nevertheless, amidst the separation of Chomper from his parents comes a silver lining — meeting Ruby and her family. (and soon his friends in the valley, but he doesn’t know that yet, does he?) Overall, it’s a solid tale, but I’m giving the score that I did and not any higher as I feel that it feels a little… incomplete? I’m not blaming the fic for it, since it’s pretty much the fault of the TV series for leaving the whole incident that led to Chomper and Ruby’s meeting vague, but a part of me feels like the eventual journey to the valley feels missing from this prequel-of-sorts, which isn’t this story’s fault, but still. :p


Name of Fanfiction: Nahoda's Gratitude
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: It's pretty apparent to anyone who's read The Seven Hunters and its sequels, but yeah… Rhombus loves to write chase scenes. Just positively loves the thrill of the hunt, I suppose. Perhaps the best part about every chase scene that's penned down is that for the most part, all of them are unique, playing out and ending differently every single time.

In this tale, the various emotions of a helpless fast runner who seems like he's about to meet his untimely end is seen on full display. His desperation at being cornered, his last-ditch mentality to stay alive, his eventual joy at escaping from the jaws of death… all of which are wonderfully described from his point-of-view, which makes it much more satisfying when he unexpectedly manages to escape the trap that he had been ensnared in.

Although it is pitifully ironic that for someone who's usually so unlucky, the very fact that he's even still alive is due to sheer damned luck — had Nahoda not taken the chance to flee the cavern when he did, he'd have most certainly been Dein’s lunch or a crushed fast runner.

Overall, it's another engaging chase scene, made much more humorous by the dissonance of Terri’s unrelenting teasing to distract from the despair of the trapped fast runner. The banter of deliberately distracting one's significant other for the sake of annoying them, I happen to find really charming. After all, in the end it is due to her teasing that her mate's hunt ended in failure. :nyah
A quaint creature who soars when the Night Circle is highest in the dark sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer.

In terms of LBT, love to write stories! :)
Current Fics: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky, Five Stages of Grief, Scrambled Eggs, and Our Safe Haven.



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OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2018, 07:39:06 am »
This batch of reviews are a little shorter than my last few, but I hope that's alright with everyone: after all, it's the weekend and I'd had quite a long day.


Name of Fanfiction: Nahoda's Concern
Rating: 8/10
Review: Nahoda’s actual concern here should be wondering what his new life had become — he’s tied to a tree by Arial, after all. :p

I, uh… actually don’t have much to comment on this one. The interactions between Nahoda and Arial are sweet, their nervousness at their situations is well-conveyed through small talk and conversations, and the two fastrunners play off each other really well.

But honestly, I’m terrible at giving concrit for romantic fluff. It shows, too. I’ve literally run out of things to say for this! It’s still a nice slice-of-life story, however. :P


Name of Fanfiction: Legend of Sucky/The Adventures of Sucky
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: So I actually had to look up Sucky’s backstory and conceptualization, and now I feel 200% bad for her. Her entire existence hinges on a singular typo. Woe is her.

This story is pretty much what I would call a usage of the trope, “Crosses The Line Twice”. The nonsense that Sucky goes through in the gang’s sleep stories is so appalling, unlucky, and just plain terrible. A reprieve from her sucky luck is snatched from her grasp again and again and again, so much so that it pretty much loops around from being tragic to becoming humorous, made even more obvious by the fact that it's a narrative of different dreams.

I have to say, the lamenting of the pure unluckiness from the Gang is spot-on, especially as they act like a surrogate audience to the affairs of a most unfortunate swimmer. The different sleep stories bear the unique signature of each and every single Gang member. But at its heart, this is a fic that's made to laugh at the sheer outlandishness of Sucky’s luck, and I can see why some people might not be the biggest fans of it. There were times where I just felt sorry for her. Nevertheless, the ending wrapped up her tale rather poetically (even if it was really out-of-nowhere), and here's hoping that she got the closure she wanted.


Name of Fanfiction: Too Dark to Find It
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: So, here’s something unusual — first person POV… literally the selling point of this fic, I have to say.

I should stress that while first-person POV is a nice aesthetic style, I personally find it tricky to write. The benefit of choosing to write in first-person is that it can make it more personal for the viewer to get into the POV character's thoughts if it is executed well. And boy howdy, going into Etta’s thoughts means ya’ gonna get a whole whoppin’ lot of a Southern accent. :p

What probably works the best about this POV is that 1st person narrative can be wholly inaccurate. We know that it's a freak lightning strike that claims Prise’s life, but Etta is steadfast in pushing and deflecting the blame on a “Great One”, or maybe it’s because of the elders words, but she believes that flinging herself into the storm will bring her vengeance on the unfair scenario. The reader knows the truth, of course, but she doesn't... truly, situational irony at its finest.

The conclusion of this story is a bittersweet affair. Although Etta gives up trying to find the Great Ones that struck down Prise, she manages to make peace with the terms of her sister’s death. And in a sense, the title of this story, “Too Dark to Find It”, is rather ironic, yet perfect at the same time. The storm is indeed too dark to find solace and closure to locate something that doesn’t exist, but she manages to find it anyway as she leaves it miraculously unscathed by the sky fire. Anyway, the thoughts of Etta as she makes her journey and the overall intrigue of the lightning storm and its tale from the other flyers is well-structured by the prose, which really sells this story for me.
A quaint creature who soars when the Night Circle is highest in the dark sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer.

In terms of LBT, love to write stories! :)
Current Fics: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky, Five Stages of Grief, Scrambled Eggs, and Our Safe Haven.



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Sovereign

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2018, 03:18:24 pm »
And here are the next four as promised. :^^spike

Name of fanfiction: Not Supposed to Be
Rating: 8/10
Review: Even if this fic is still severely unfinished, it has provided a rather good plotline and many memorable scenes thus far. I’m not particularly fond of Petrie/Ducky pairing and in that way, the premise wasn’t the strongest one for me. However, you’ve portrayed their relationship quite nicely here and the prologue scene of them separating struck just the nerve to create some real emotion at the start.

The discussions between Ducky and the Gang were quite well-written and the former’s desperate quest to search for Petrie was a great idea. The feel you created for that search was quite tangible as was the prospect of Ducky dying because of her fool’s hope. Her eventual rescue and the aftermath were a nice continuation as was Petrie’s beginning problems among the other flyers. The way the Gang confronted the swimmer during her depression was also great to read as her despair certainly isn’t helping anyone.

However, the unfinished state prevents me from giving this fic a higher rating. As of now, all that we’ve seen really is Ducky’s short quest and a series of well-written dialogues. You gave some hints where Petrie’s plotline is going towards and that plotline seems to hold some real promise.

I don’t know how long this fic is going to be but right now, I can’t say anything decisive about it. You’ve started the plotlines nicely but the continuation is completely clouded thus far. I hope to see this fic continued one day as it has the makings of a really memorable fic judging from the parts we’ve seen thus far. I’m sure there’s going to be some kind of coming-of-age story with Petrie while it’s unlikely that Ducky will give up her hopes once and for all. In any case, you’ve got my attention with this story.

Name of fanfiction: The Final Adventure
Rating: 8/10
Review: This is a pretty good short story which focuses on one inevitability in LBT : Littlefoot’s grandparents’ deaths. Grandpa and Topps’ relationship has been left highly vague in the series thus far and it was nice to see him open up to the threehorn during his final day. The dialogue itself was written quite well even if it felt at times like Grandpa was even too friendly as we’ve never seen signs of true friendship between them but as I said, this is a sound interpretation of those two.

While the fic was very short, it still carried some very nice emotion within it. Topps’ reaction to Grandpa’s proposition as well as the final scene with the longnecks heading to their final journey were really well done and the fic left a lingering feeling of bittersweetness for a longer time than some other ficlets. The reason why I didn’t go for a higher score were the shortness of the story and the final word which, as I said the last time, broke the feeling for a bit.

Still, of the actual short stories, I feel this was your strongest one this year. It had many interesting ideas and it was written quite nicely. With a little more elaboration it could have been an excellent story but even now this was a real joy (or tragedy) to read.

Name of fanfiction: Our Past and Our Future
Rating: 6,5/10
Review: When I first read the two chapters of this fic, I looked at them as independent, fun entries into the Prompt challenge and I quite liked those two. The first chapter provided us with a traditional but well-written look at one of the Gang’s (mis)adventures into the Mysterious Beyond and that’s always a good premise. The following hiding from Arya and her introduction were interesting enough as was the conclusion to the first chapter.

As for the second one, it provides us bit of a backstory into the fic’s current circumstances. Ruby’s efforts to help her friend fight off his looming starvation was a rather nice look into the recent past and how Chomper is faring in regards to his inevitable growth. But while the two chapters were good enough, trying to regard them as one story right now is quite difficult. You could have tied the flashback into the first chapter by making Chomper or Ruby reflect on their past to face the future. That lack of contact with the only two chapters that are completed is quite awkward.

However, your skills as a writer seem quite promising as your descriptions and creation of a rather nice atmosphere and your dialogue were well done. I can see Arya’s character becoming a central, and potentially interesting, part of this fic but the one scene with her didn’t tell too much of her just yet. But even then, this fic has certain promise and I certainly want to see more of it in the future!

Name of fanfiction: Five Stages of Grief
Rating: 9,5/10
Review: Yep, this fic is worth every bit of praise I gave it the last time. There are only a handful of fics which have combined the masterful premise, good ideas in implementing it as well as pure emotion in the raw writing process. Your way of showing the different phases during which Ducky handles Spike’s departure works phenomenally and every part of this story was filled with very strong feelings and dialogue which made this close to the most powerful fic I’ve seen this year.

Some of the things I liked the most here included the amazing focus on Ducky’s thoughts, something which you have already proven to excel in, and the way the plot advanced. From the initial angst to the scenes with Thicknose and Petrie to the reconciliation… I could feel the thoughts and sadness within Ducky almost literally which I can say from rather few stories I’ve ever read. It was from the very beginning with Spike’s departure that I was up for a beautiful ride. This story made the raw rage towards Thicknose, the feeling of loss and even that of the cold world live within the reader, a feeling that has only grown stronger within me since my first review. Also, the catharsis Ducky felt with her friends’ help… well done.

Also, I’ve learned that the ending to a fic is very important in creation of its long-term impact. Ruby’s questions about Spike as well as the following scene made the effects of Spike departure known as it was amazing to see just how you blended Ruby and Chomper into this AU where the spiketail is no longer around. Ducky’s melancholic but accepting explanation about her brother’s whereabouts was absolutely amazing and that left me with a rather happy but still sad feel after finishing and that’s one of the most best things in this story.

Overall, I am completely confident in naming this the second best short story of the year after Swim of Silence. You have certainly demonstrated your natural talent for writing deep, nicely-flowing fics that leave a lasting mark on the reader. To be honest, I was completely dumbstruck by the improvement that could be seen in this fic and this is certainly one of the stories to be treasured for a longer time as well. Marvelous job with this fic and I hope to see more stories like this one in the coming months too!

DiddyKF1

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2018, 02:03:21 pm »
Well, I seriously doubt that I'll be able to review ALL of these stories, but here are at least a few that I have read over the past few months. I'm going to review one story from each author today, and I may review more of them another day if I get time to read them.

Name of fanfiction: Separate Ways
Rating: 9/10
Review: I've been reading this one for a couple of months and slowly following it as it's been updated. Up until now, I haven't really reviewed any portion of it, but here it goes. Overall, I think it's another great example of a story filled with dread for our favorite characters (two of them, in particular). As the story progresses, I get the feeling that some characters slowly start to lose their sanity, and the emotions of their situations are all captured brilliantly. The plot really stands out as being filled with so much suspense, even with so much that I couldn't anticipate. You've done a great job at mixing in suspense with uncertainty and dread, and judging from some of your other stories I've read, you have quite a strong point with writing unhappy stories of tragic times. This is no exception.

What really stands out, however, is that with each chapter, things gradually get more depressing for Petrie and Ruby, with one catastrophe after another. The most recent chapter, in my opinion, was a perfect example. Even I was actually expecting Petrie to be reunited with his family in the valley, but instead we find the valley a wreck, and that Petrie's family has left to find a new home. It seems that no matter where Petrie goes, he practically has no one to turn to, as many of his friends are presumed dead, and he had to renounce two of them because of their crimes. Oh, and part of me really hates Mr. Clubtail in this story.

Due to the fact that this story is still in progress, I still have reason to feel some sense of anticipation, although not much excitement as this is a tragic story (in a good way). Even now, I'm still actually wondering if Ruby may face her untimely death or escape her fate in some way, or if Petrie will ever see his family again, or Littlefoot, at the very least, should he have to leave the valley for good.

Name of fanfiction: Life Went On
Rating: 8/10
Review: Despite the fact that the story seemed just a little short, it still managed to trigger my emotions in some way. This story really did justice to how Bron had to deal with the loss of his mate and the disappearance of his only child before he finally met Littlefoot during the events of the tenth movie. The feeling of losing your only family is something that one can never truly recover from, and before long, you'll probably wonder, "Why me? Why did I live so long?"

It was very hard to read without tearing up even the slightest. I really liked the emotional buildup of his character, as he tried so hard to keep his mental state bottled within himself and hide it from a group of orphans who had no one else to turn to. Once it finally explodes when they encounter the Sharptooth, he has to accept the fact that he can't keep his emotions hidden from others forever, much like how I portrayed Ducky in one of my stories. This has proven that even short stories can prove themselves powerful with raw emotion.

Name of fanfiction: Five Stages of Grief
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: Up until this year, I wasn't a fan of AU stories, but joining this forum changed that completely. First, there was Sovereign's "The Road's End, The Friendship's Rebirth," and then there was this AU story based on the eighth movie. Sometimes, AU's leave me wondering how things would have turned out had it actually happened that way, and this was a perfect example of showing how it would have impacted the events of the later movies and the TV series.

As I mentioned in my previous review of this story, Ducky's emotions were very pure as she dealt with the loss of Spike and the guilt she felt for her part in Mr. Thicknose's death. To her, losing her brother forever is almost as if she has dealt with the death of a loved one. Her grief was so great that it was very difficult for me to read without crying (which I rarely do). Her interactions with Petrie, in particular, were also a big heart-stopper at first, and I could feel as if I was in Petrie's place, getting this numb feeling in my chest as I watch Ducky lash out in a blind rage, not caring who she was speaking to.

Like I said before, this story proved to me that your writing has taken a big improvement, and it'll be very interesting to see what more you come up with next year, whether the story is a happy one or a sad one.

Name of fanfiction: Our Past and Our Future
Rating: 7/10
Review: This story is a good example of one of the almost countless possibilities for Chomper's future due to the prejudice he faces as a Sharptooth living among leafeaters. More often than not, banishment seems inevitable, but there are ways for him to avoid such biased judgments, such as learning how to eat fish.

This story does a great job at showing how the Gang believes that loyalty comes first, regardless of the fact that their friend is a Sharptooth. There have been many occasions in the movies where loyalty has been the dominant factor, and this feels somewhat like that, as they are willing to do anything to keep Chomper in the valley for as long as possible, despite the odds still seeming against him when he gets older. The character emotions were very well captured, and Chomper's character development had a very good buildup that has us readers hoping for a very positive outcome for his future.

My only downside is that the story seemed just a little short, but I guess it's up to all of us to make a guess as to what became of Chomper's future after he became an expert fish catcher. Nonetheless, a good story with excellent character development.

Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past 2.0
Rating: 8/10
Review: Despite the fact that I never read the original version of this story, this new version has been keeping me very excited each time a new chapter pops up. Now that I've watched the tenth movie, I (sort of) know what to expect in some parts of Littlefoot's story, but it's been quite an adventure to see the tense buildups in each of the three young longnecks as this adventure will inevitably bring them closer together.

One thing that keeps me intrigued is that each of the three longnecks have had different buildups as we venture deeper into their stories, from Shorty's initial distrust of Bron, and Ali's mood swings when it comes to dealing with her mother, and Littlefoot's constant nightmares. Reading through each of the character's buildups as an adventure in of itself.

I know that my views on this story may differ greatly from others because of the fact that I never read the original version, but I honestly believe that this story will have great potential once the later chapters come out. You're doing a great job so far, and it's been quite a journey.



Well, I did say I'd review one story from each author, but I must confess. I'm sorry, Rhombus, but as of the time I'm typing this, I haven't really had time to read any of your five entries yet, but I will get around to doing that, eventually. My goal would have to be to not get too preoccupied with my other stuff.  :sducky Expect to see a review from me on one of your stories within the next week or two.  :D
My fanfics:
Love is an Adventure
Waters Rise, Illness Flies
A Swim of Silence
A Swimmer's Sad Secret
A Broken Family
The Hurting of Desire

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Sovereign

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #10 on: October 25, 2018, 03:15:40 pm »
Yes, there are six reviews in this one but I decided to put these last reviews as one set. After reading all these fics, I thank everybody who participated in these awards this year as each and every one of them was a great read and a reminder of the high quality of LBT fics this year. It is heartening to see the increased interest in writing these days which was again demonstrated by the sheer number of participating fics. I also look forward to seeing all of your reviews in the coming weeks! :)littlefoot

Name of fanfiction: Our Safe Haven
Rating: 7,5/10
Review: Despite my initial criticism, this was quite a strong first step into the world of LBT from the author. He managed to catch the characters and their motives excellently from the very beginning and the first paragraphs gave me a good impression of the continuation. The look into Ducky’s thoughts about her life in the Valley was very nice to see and this story was quite effective in drawing further light to some of the issues plaguing the swimmer and probably, the whole Gang.

The warm look into her past during that beautiful night established the premise effectively and it was a good look into those events for the reader as well. One scene in the start I especially liked was the emphasis you put on Ducky’s attempts to understand what her brother was trying to tell her. That was one scene that I could easily picture while reading it and the following brief reflection on her motives worked as well.

Judging from the beginning, I could give this a higher rating but as I said in my first review, the second part of this fic was quite… overemphasized. As in my initial thoughts, I found the long thoughts about the Valley and this freedom to shed some of the emotion built earlier away and it was replaced by something which reflected more like a cold analysis. The ending, too, ended in a similar note which was a bit unfortunate after the great start.

When I first read this, I wondered whether this habit would stick but it’s great to see this wasn’t the case. While this fic truly showed the author’s abilities to write great stories and especially put more emphasis on emotions and character development, I dare say this fic still left some room for improvement. However, the level of the writing itself was very high here already and you may consider it a very successful first LBT fic!

Name of fanfiction: Scrambled Eggs
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: This was quite an intriguing fic that left a few conflicting thoughts inside me. I would be lying if I said there aren’t scenes that still puzzle me somewhat but the many interesting and even haunting themes explored here forced those thoughts into the background quite effectively. Chomper’s birth is an obvious watershed moment in the series and the way you portrayed it here felt like a natural, even probable continuation to the plot of the second film.

The way you brought up Littlefoot’s inner conflict as well as Cera’s sentiments made the first part of this fic feel much more in-character than one would expect from this kind of fic. As I said previously, the only problematic character moments were Cera’ actual willingness to kill Chomper and Ozzy and Strut’s reactions as they didn’t feel like the characters we’ve grown to know. It was sad to see Chomper meet his end like this and the scene surrounding his demise was one of the highlights of the fic.

The latter part of the story with the chase and the final showdown were perhaps too elaborated here as they probably didn’t provide too much additions to the story’s themes. Usually, I would probably point out that killing or even implying the Gang’s deaths are not the optimal things to do in a short story where it isn’t absolutely necessary but this time, I won’t. The way you finished the story was quite nice as you the last few sentences brought the tragic irony of the whole situation perfectly to the surface, making the reader even mock the Gang’s folly in their minds. The leadup to the ending could have dampened this fic quite a bit but the conclusion justified the morbidity of the fic perfectly.

All in all, while there were some slightly awkward scenes, the way you again portrayed the Gang’s thoughts and the extremely strong delivering of the fics themes was really impressive. It was great to see Littlefoot for once giving in to his inner demons and well… how lucky the Gang is to have him lead them. This fic was really well elaborated and to be honest, my opinion of your three stories has only grown since I first read them.

Name of fanfiction: A Swim of Silence
Rating: 10/10
Review: Yep, that is right, the perfect rating. Nothing else would suit this amazing achievement in creating the beauty and serenity of Ducky’s mind on that special night and mix it with the sickening and horrifying events of the past. To be saying that I was impressed by the variety of feelings and raw emotions that are imbedded in this masterful short story would be an understatement. It truly was the well done.

While in the very beginning I was a bit unsure what to expect, the story soon took care that I wouldn’t wonder it any longer. Judy’s introduction was a heartwarming one but the inevitability of it all was utilized greatly. Ducky’s memories felt like my own, thinking of distant bygones days that would very soon forcefully be torn away forever. The interludes with Ducky only reinforced the feeling of helplessness as the beautiful descriptions and Ducky’s resigned thoughts only deepened the feelings this fic so perfectly built.

And indeed, it isn’t long until the nightmare begins. Rolf’s arrival into Ducky’s home and the following fight was some of the most outrageous things I’ve ever read and Rolf’s attacks as well as the others’ inability to act… it was all so very wrong, something which you again captured in a way which was natural and powerful all the way.

And the final act itself… there’s not much I can say. I didn’t believe that hell would have been able to be captured this perfectly but here we are. Ducky’s mother’s words as well as the scene itself were just completely heartbreaking and it fit the characters so well. As I said in my original review, to read this was sickening but to think something close to this happened and will inevitably happen countless times again all around the world… well done utilizing those thoughts while not overdoing it in any way.

And all the way, Ducky’s thoughts and the present-day scenes worked to somewhat calm the situation down while only worsening the reader’s mental anguish. The final scene was a perfect way to wrap up this most horrible and beautiful of stories which left the similar kind of hopeless melancholy on the reader as it did to Ducky. The only part which wasn’t perfect was the last talk between Ducky and her mother as it wasn’t necessarily needed but otherwise, amazing work. I don’t remember ever being this touched by an LBT short story before and because of it, I simply have no choice but to give this fic the very best rating.

Name of fanfiction: A Swimmers Sad Secret
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: In many ways, this fic’s similarity with the original story is both its strength and weakness. While many of the scenes were undoubtedly powerful and masterfully written, especially Ducky’s nightmare felt quite familiar after Swim of Silence. However, this sequel managed to diverge from its predecessor just enough in its latter part so that I still regard this as one of the strongest fics this year.

The first half was, as I said, a bit familiar to Swim of Silence but even then, it was a nice throwback into the horrific hell Judy was forced to go through her whole life. The end of the nightmare was a true relief and the following discussion between the swimmers showed just how difficult it is for Ducky to think of her friend’s fate. Yet, I found it a bit odd how big the contrast between Ducky’s acceptance of Judy’s fate is between here and the original story.

The best part in this tale was probably Ducky’s final revelation of Judy’s fate to his friends as it was a nice portrayal of what the Gang would react to such a horrifying story. The others’ attempts to get the day going normally against the swimmer’s increasingly clear anguish was a good scene but the follow-up to Ducky’s complete breakdown… that was a powerful moment. The following argument between Ducky and Cera worked quite perfectly and gave a nice touch to the characterizations portrayed here.

That being said, despite slight misses like the Cera/Topps relationship, this was a really great story even if I shared my thoughts of its necessity before. This sealed Judy’s legacy once and for all and gave the Gang a chance to finally share her memory with Ducky. This duo of stories were some of the highlights of this year even if I would have liked to see a Broken Family take part in the awards too. But all I can say about your last fics, keep those amazing stories coming!

Name of fanfiction: Life Went On
Rating: 7,5/10
Review: This was an unusually power ficlet that despite its minimal length managed to create quite a great feeling to it. The complete focus on Bron’s thoughts was a good idea as it kept the story much more intimate to read and it was easier to feel the longneck’s pain. You kept many of the scenes, like the nightmare, extremely brief but still, they managed
to put their message through quite effectively which was one of the best things of this story.

The way Shorty tried to get through to Bron was portrayed here excellently as it showed just how courageous and how determined Shorty was to save the other children. The way the writing itself seemed to pull him away was done in a really impressive way as the experiences of Bron and the reader seemed to become one. And the clearly-portrayed passage of time only reinforced the impression of loneliness and despair.

Yet, it’s hard to make a truly memorable fic at this length and for example, the first part of the story with the introduction to Bron’s thoughts and the clubtails seemed even too brief. The same could perhaps be said of the ending which dampened the fic’s effect a bit. Still, the great feeling you brought to Bron’s thoughts and the way you portrayed his view on life during these horrifying days forced those thoughts on the background.

All in all, this was a very nice take on the subject which did justice to both Bron and Shorty. Even if the latter and his group was far from the spotlight, their presence was a good additional factor to portraying Bron’s depression. Despite its short length, nice job on this story.

Name of fanfiction: Too Dark to Find It
Rating: 8/10
Review: Your second story this year is another example of your improved writing this year. This was a very nice look into Etta’s past as well as to a different version to the usually-optimistic and caring flyer. The premise of showing her sister’s death like this proved that there were more conflicted thoughts behind Etta’s mask of optimism in JOTB and the fic itself was composed quite nicely. Divebomb’s explanations of the circumstances in which the flyers see the flyers’ deaths is a good example of this. Also, Dante’s attempts to get to Etta were quite believable as well but it is the second part of the fic that worked even better, imo.

Etta’s efforts to find the concrete reason for her sister’s death was something nice as the desperate, seemingly desperate push into the legends of the flyers truly worked. Etta’s efforts to find out the truth or at the very least to reach some kind of closure for her sorrow was a truly impressive scene even if there were no Great Ones to be found anywhere. The slight relief Etta felt afterwards was a nice way to end the story and it wrapped the themes around Etta’s character very well.

All in all, this fic was again slightly bothered by its short length as I’ve got the feeling this could have worked even better with some more buildup around it. Yet, the rare focus on Etta (and her accent) helped bypass its short length in this review and to scale my rating a bit upwards. All in all, these two fics were good additions to the prompt challenge and I hope to see more of them in the coming months!

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2018, 08:01:22 am »
Whup, Sovereign's already done with everything. :wow Guess I should pick up the pace.

I apologize but this update's a little short. I've had an incredibly rough week that sapped me of most of my mood :sducky, but it's better than nothing, I suppose...


Name of Fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past 2.0
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: Like @DiddyKF1, I hadn’t had the chance to read the original Shorty’s Dark Past, so this is pretty much based off the perceptions of a "blind" person whose first experience with the tale is with this rewrite.

And uh, it’s great. This story switches between the perspectives of Bron/Shorty, Ali and her herd, as well as Littlefoot and the Gang. The emotions that can be felt from the tension that can be felt as the mystery of the sleep stories begins to take ahold is truly something that is captured well within the prose. The feeling of Ali lashing out, of Shorty’s initial wariness, of Littlefoot’s thirst of curiosity — it’s all palpable to the reader, and I for one can see that this is leading somewhere big… eventually, that is.

Yeah, I’m must stress that like the LBT1 novelization I’m a bit more reserved with regards to my score for this story as I can tell that the good part hasn’t even come, especially if this follows the rough plot of LBT10… since it’s barely even started if that’s the case! Our three longnecks (four if you count Bron) have barely even met yet! Still I’m intrigued by the tale of the impending migration, to the point where I’m refraining from reading the original to spoil myself, so kudos and keep up!


Name of Fanfiction: The Curse of Speed
Rating: 9/10
Review: This is probably my personal favorite of all of Rhombus’ short stories that was submitted to this contest. First up, to begin with, Rhombus (and Sovereign as well, from what I’m reading :p) has a knack of writing Ruby’s family really well, to the point where I genuinely believe that they are like an actual family staying over at my home — with their arguments, their teasing, and the children’s willingness to listen to a story when their curiosity is piqued.

And along with Orchid and Arial, piqued is the reader’s curiosity too. The way that the retelling of the tale of the fastrunner Dipsido is told (even though it’s in song) really made it feel like an actual story from a mythology that the fastrunners all believe in, giving it that air of intrigue especially as we learn the supposed price for the fastrunners’ speed — the inability to camouflage. I really like the trade-off tale, which sounds like it could be a feasible legend in the series chock-full of ancient stories.

But for what it’s worth, I think I enjoyed the siblings’ banter with each other and the tender love their parents have for them even more than the story itself. A scene that strikes out is Detras and Pearl using the story as a hook to stop their argument (which is something that the Gang/pack pull in Song of the Hunters as well, come to think of it).

In summary, the way that the fastrunners are written truly lets them play off each other, thus making the family of four feels tangible and relatable, just like a bunch of nice goofy neighbors that you want over to visit at your house… until they steal all your eggs like Dipsido and break into a sprint to scram, that is. :P
A quaint creature who soars when the Night Circle is highest in the dark sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer.

In terms of LBT, love to write stories! :)
Current Fics: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky, Five Stages of Grief, Scrambled Eggs, and Our Safe Haven.



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DiddyKF1

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2018, 12:52:36 pm »
Okay. Now that I've read one of Rhombus' stories, I can actually go ahead and make my reviews a little more complete (somewhat).

Name of Fanfiction: The Curse of Speed
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: Up until now, I hadn't really taken the time to read this because I didn't participate in the March prompt. I actually found the concept of Dipsido's story quite fascinating. I know very little about Ruby and her family, but this gives me a good idea as to how their kind might live by.

These Fast Runners apparently have quite a way of living, as proven by Dipsido's dynamic character traits. His ideas meant for the greater good of his kind, but let them down in a way so unimaginable. And thus, for his atonement, his kind gets cursed with speed. I can't remember the last time I read such a wondrous adventure-like legend, but this was amazing.

This is yet another story in which the concept itself makes up for how short it is. It is so brilliant how even extremely short stories can become such a wondrous read.
My fanfics:
Love is an Adventure
Waters Rise, Illness Flies
A Swim of Silence
A Swimmer's Sad Secret
A Broken Family
The Hurting of Desire

"It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices." -Albus Dumbledore


OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2018, 11:55:22 am »
Two more reviews. :) After this there should be one more wave of story reviews before the final wave.


Name of Fanfiction: Our Past and Our Future
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: This fic was very difficult to rate, I’ll be honest— and it’s because of how different its two chapters are from each other.

Now, the first chapter has the gang in a tense situation as Chomper meets a female Sharptooth, Arya. The initial tension and interaction between the two sharpteeth is actually very intriguing, as is Cera’s obvious distrust of her. If I were to make one critic, I feel that this could have been paced better since I feel that if the gang were to really deal with a situation like this, more of them would be acting like Cera.

In contrast, the second chapter is a flashback to probably one of the more common situations to write for — how does Chomper deal with the pressure of eating as he grows? I really do like the approach went here of fishing (despite being a cop-out, it’s still the obvious way for the valley to keep him) and especially enjoy the approach of Ruby mentoring Chomper in this one. It’s just really fitting.

Ultimately, I can’t give this fic any higher a grade, my apologies in advance, for the same reason as Sovereign — the two chapters feel like two completely separate stories, which in a sense it is, given that they were two different prompts, but the disconnect is there and I will be interested if the story interconnects both the chapters in future updates, especially the cliffhanger of the gang’s situation in the first one.


Name of Fanfiction: The Flame in the Woods
Rating: 10/10
Review: I’ll be honest… I came into this story expecting to rate it around a 9, give or take 0.5. To say I was not expecting what I actually got is an understatement. And no, it had nothing to do with the fact that I’d read it around the Halloween period. :p

To begin with, this story is set as an immediate sequel to the events of the original film, which is something I adore due to the fact that Littlefoot and Cera’s behavior end up differing greatly as compared to their mellowed personalities in the later sequels. The very tone that the story sets up from the start is a sense of despair: mentioning Cera seemingly falling to her old ways thanks to her father and the kind-hearted Littlefoot unable to do anything about it lends the feeling of helplessness from Littlefoot as the initial conflict between them escalates, even though Cera herself doesn’t want it to, but lets it happen anyway out of pride and subdued anger.

And then comes the “Flame in the Woods”. Now this entire scene is just pure suspense. The entire ordeal with Cera’s voice that led to Littlefoot almost drowning from his hallucination, and then the real Cera rescuing and later reconciling with the longneck is written really well. The ambient spooky atmosphere when the two dinosaurs realize that the apparition that was seen could not be explained by natural means is truly chilling. LBT has its fair share of supernatural moments, but it’s not often commented or brought up in the films itself. The natural thought process of Littlefoot realizing that he might have gotten divine help from his mother after all is… surprisingly creepy.

All in all, although it’s left a mystery as to what Littlefoot actually saw and heard, I personally just really like the supernatural-aspect to it and the whole concept as a whole, especially given that it happened in the Great Valley, the so-called haven paradise where everyone’s safe… or perhaps not at all. Perhaps danger is closer than they think. I don’t think this one will keep me up at night, but I really like the whole story, so that justifies my score.
A quaint creature who soars when the Night Circle is highest in the dark sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer.

In terms of LBT, love to write stories! :)
Current Fics: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky, Five Stages of Grief, Scrambled Eggs, and Our Safe Haven.



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rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2018, 10:42:32 pm »
@Sovereign @OwlsCantRead @Ducky123 @LBTlover247 @DiddyKF1 @DarkWolf91

I am just bumping this topic to remind everyone that the fanfiction awards are almost over.  Only half a month remains to rate and review this year's entries.  I will begin posting my reviews this weekend now that I finally have a week off of work duties.  :yes


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

Ducky123

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2018, 01:53:38 am »
I will review the minimum required amount of stories, I haven't got enough time to do all the reading.
Note to self: finally create that signature lazy bum! :P

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #16 on: November 16, 2018, 03:57:51 am »
Oh dear, I've been pinged. :P Better update.
Well, it took a while to get these done. I came down with a massive flu which threw my schedule off for a week... :sducky After this, all are left for me are the two longfics. Probably need to prepare myself for those.


Name of Fanfiction: Not Supposed To Be
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: I’ll straight out admit that I’m probably a bit biased with the score on this one because I lowkey support the Ducky/Petrie pairing… but what the heck. While I’m at it, I might as well chip in and say that I like the star-crossed lovers concept in literature anyway, however cliché it might be.

The two contrasting stories, one that follows a distraught Ducky, and one that follows a confused Petrie, are both intriguing in their own right. Ducky’s self-destructive nature is rather heartbreaking and reminiscent of her desire for Spike to remain in LBT8, except much more… well, vocal. Her friends’ concern for her is rather touching and caring.

Petrie’s quest is also similar to a coming-of-age story where he struggles to come to grips with his feelings. The fic leaves off on this cliffhanger regarding him and a bullied female flyer, which probably doesn’t take two-and-two to put together what’s likely to happen. Sure, the characterizations of the flyers at the cliffs are stock, but I can’t help but feel the emotions that I’m meant to feel for them (ie, anger, pity).

The title, hiding a question within, probably gets me the most hyped for a continuation. It’s clear that they’re “not supposed to be”, as stated in the very prologue. But do they fight against destiny or not? Both of them make different choices, and that’s probably the part I’m most interested to find out when it resumes.


Name of Fanfiction: A Swimmer's Sad Secret
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: Perhaps the thing that caught my eye about this story was its opening note, where it states that this story was initially not going to happen until persuaded by a FFN follower. Fittingly enough, like your apprehension in following up in what you yourself said you considered your magnum opus, I myself am really not quite sure how to rate this.

Objectively, it’s a great story, but a part of me just feels like its prequel is more tightly woven of a tale, even though this one has more befitting undertones of a traditional LBT story. In a sense, although this is a recount to her friends, it’s almost like we’re forced to relive Ducky’s worst nightmares from an outsider's POV as the swimmer unleashes her grief and lays down her feelings bare to her mom and later her friends, made more poignant by the stark bleakness of Ducky reliving the actual scene of the murder in her sleep, something left up to the reader’s imagination in its predecessor. The coldness of that scene really caught me off guard as a result, especially when it appeared like Ducky would be the next victim (although it was quite obviously a dream/hallucination, the suspense was still there).

Thematically though, the story plays it relatively safe compared to its predecessor — with a heartfelt moment between Ducky and her mother, followed by a terse conversation between the Gang where Ducky admits her guilt. These scenes sounds like they could fit in one of the films, unlike the heart-wrenching chaos from its prequel which is one of those things official media won’t touch with a ten-foot pole. The concerns of the rest of the Gang as they press Ducky for details about Judy and unintentionally cause the peppy swimmer to break is something which is written believably. Distraught people often do lash out harshly, and as I originally stated, the clash with Cera is something that I can see, and just wish was elaborated slightly more.

Also, I’m pretty sure that me and everyone else already mentioned how well A Swim of Silence worked as a standalone fic, but it’s not to rub on this story — it’s a great sequel for wrapping up the duology.


Name of Fanfiction: A Quest Among the Frozen Sky Stars
Rating: 9/10
Review: Snowfic. Just in time for winter, too. The descriptions of the cold and frigid weather was truly remarkable. It felt as though it was really snowing as I read it. So chilly, so comforting… makes it all the more jarring when the snow turns on Orchid in the midst of his surprise.

Perhaps the most poignant moment was the snow swimmer sculpture being thoroughly ruined by a stray rock. It’s hard not to relate with him in that moment. In the midst of all these chaos, a moment of optimism is found when he follows a reddish tail and reunites with his family and a pile of tree fuzz. The fic leaves it up for debate as to whether it’s meant to be a Santa-like creature or a mere hallucination, but I think it doesn’t matter what it is to Orchid… he’s safe and sound, after all.

I’m not going to lie… I think this fanfiction awards had me reading about the exploits of Ruby’s family quite a fair bit. This is (counting the longfics), what, the fifth one? Not that it’s a bad thing — the close-knit fast runner family is actually very well represented in every fic that I’d read of them, and this is no exception. The characterizations of all the fast runners really are true to the word, making me almost feel as though they’re a goofy, happy family getting ready for Christmas.
A quaint creature who soars when the Night Circle is highest in the dark sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer.

In terms of LBT, love to write stories! :)
Current Fics: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky, Five Stages of Grief, Scrambled Eggs, and Our Safe Haven.



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LBTlover247

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #17 on: November 19, 2018, 01:04:00 am »
Name of fanfiction: The Final Adventure
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: I like how the author dealt with the concept of death in the LBT universe. It also plays with the inevitable future of Littlefoot's grandparents in a believable way that could almost by considered canon. Littlefoot's grief is portrayed realistically and on par with how it was portrayed in the original Land Before Time movie.

rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #18 on: November 19, 2018, 08:07:25 pm »
Alright, I have finally had time to properly review some stories.  :yes With that in mind here is the first batch of reviews...

Name of fanfiction: The Land Before Time 1 - Novellization (gof thread name: TLBT fanfiction series)
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: 8.0/10

Though this story is still in its infancy, it has shown great promise during its first seven chapters.  First, we have a good elaboration of the inner thoughts, hopes, and fears of Cera and Littlefoot in a way that is not readily possible in the visual medium.  Despite this aspect being a potentially dangerous one when a writer trying to express the thoughts of children, Ducky pulls this off rather effectively.  Seconds, we have a bit of a cameo in the form of two narratives that Fyn (horizon) and myself prepared over a year ago.  It rather impressed me that the two narratives were interwoven into the overarching story in a way that worked well and that did not seem out of place.  With that being said, the story is still in its infancy and the truly emotionally-wrenching scenes are yet to come, so the highest of ratings cannot be assigned yet.  But this story certainly has the potential to earn such a rating in the year to come.


Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past 2.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: 8.5/10

The first incarnation of Shorty’s Dark Past was in many ways a story that showcased Ducky123’s skills as an author.  In the tale we were able to see a deeply disturbed Shorty, with a dark past and a tenuous social situation.  It provided an interesting glimpse about how a longneck herd would handle difficult concepts, like abuse or anti-social personalities.  Though the first incarnation did suffer a bit from issues with pacing, wording, and in making the main characters (Bron and Shorty) relatable.

Thus far, however, the new incarnation of the story has resolved many of these issues.  Not only have we had a very personal look at the unique situations of Ali and Shorty, but we have also had both characters made much relatable to us, from Ali’s preteen annoyances with her overbearing herd to Shorty’s struggles with being an orphan and encountering the first male in his life that could reasonably be considered a role model.  This version of Shorty is a much more interesting character and, for me at least, I feel a much stronger connection to this incarnation than in the previous story.  The characterizations of the other characters, from Littlefoot’s relative innocence to the formality of the grandparents, is also captured very well.  The end result is a story that I look forward to reading whenever it is updated.

This story has much the same issue as the first story as it is unfinished so I cannot review the finished product.  That being said, Ducky has nicely resolved many of the issues that existed in the first incarnation of the story and the improvement in his writing is clearly on display in this tale.  As such, both for the quality of what already exists and for the promise of what is to come, I think that it has certainly earned this rating.

Name of fanfiction: (Legends and) Adventures of Sucky
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: Taunt  :DD

Sucky doesn’t suck.  :p



…alright, let’s have the actual review.  :p


Name of fanfiction: (Legends and) Adventures of Sucky
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: 7.75/10

Like I said in my review on the story itself, crack fics are difficult things to review and rate.  Because things that would normally want to be avoided in such tales, like interrupting the suspension of disbelief, are not necessary a bad thing in humorous tales.  The strength of this story is the playful banter of the gang, which was captured very nicely and this gave the story a nice flow.  There also were no issues in capturing the personalities of the gang as their banter was quite believable in the context of the tale.

The tales from Chomper and Petrie were particular joys to read, and the others were quite fun as well.  And as I mentioned in my original review, the combination of Sucky’s sucky end, the bawling of the twins, and the rest of the gang totally ignoring them was also enough to make me laugh out loud.  This is one crack fic for which I would not mind a sequel.  :yes

Name of fanfiction: Not Supposed To Be
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: 8.0/10

The subject of a Ducky/Petrie romance is perhaps a controversial one in the fandom for a number of reasons, but I can certainly see it in the context of the unique inter-species friendship between the members of the gang.  It is not out of the realm of possibility that one of these friendships might turn into something more though, as this story shows, natural considerations have interrupted the possibility of mutual happiness for the two lovers.  Whether they both find happiness apart (perhaps rekindling a friendship despite the loss of their romance) or find some arrangement that works for them, I am eager to see how this tale turns out.

Again, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, the only thing holding this back in my rating is its incomplete state.  It is a promising tale and one that takes very respectful risks in terms of what some readers may be comfortable with personally.  I hope as a reader that it works out for both Ducky and Petrie in the end.

Name of fanfiction: The Final Adventure
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: 9.25/10

This is a powerful story that shows that story length does not mean everything.  In this story we get to see the bond not only between the two longnecks as they go on the final journey we all must take, but also between Grandpa Longneck and Topps.  In presenting these interactions this story shows more than what many thousands of words of text could show.  Sometimes simply showing the emotions is much more powerful that purple prose.  This is a story that truly shows Ducky’s grasp of the major characters.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2018, 08:09:19 pm by rhombus »


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction voting 2018
« Reply #19 on: November 21, 2018, 09:34:49 pm »
Alright... it only took me several hours of re-reading and writing but here is the next batch of reviews.  Sovereign, I hope to get to your stories this weekend, so don't worry your reviews are coming.  :yes Now without further ado, here are the reviews for LBTlover247, Diddy, OwlsCantRead, and DarkWolf:

Name of fanfiction: Our Past and Our Future
Author(s): LBTlover247
Rating: 8.0/10

This story presents a rather unique take on a recurring premise in the fandom: what will be the ultimate fate of Chomper?  In this tale Chomper has not been asked to leave the valley despite the Time of Great Growing coming to him and his friends.  Now his diet is changing out of necessity - from his favored buzzers to the allure of fish. The second chapter rather effectively shows Ruby’s skills as a teacher and the friendly encouragement of Chomper’s friends despite the icky factor for them on account of him fishing.  All in all this is a nice entry into this well-trodden premise in the fandom and one that resolves (at least temporarily) Chomper’s predicament in a manner that does not lead to tragedy.

Name of fanfiction: Five Stages of Grief
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Rating: 10/10

This was a story that took my breath away the first time that I read it.  As I read through its smoothly flowing narrative I could clearly see how this alternative future could very well have happened.  Not only does the swimmer’s actions in this tale lead to tragedy for Mr. Thicknose, but it also leads to a harsh struggle to accept what cannot be changed by the poor swimmer.  The result is a deeply introspective story that forces us to see a side of the swimmer that we seldom see in the series and that effectively shows how the other characters would react upon seeing this bittersweet tale play out around them.  As I mentioned when I wrote my original review the emotional rawness of it all made this story quite difficult to read, but in a good way.  This was easily one of the best fanfic prompt award entries of the year and, as I predicted in my original review, it has earned the highest rating that I can bestow upon it.  :)

Name of fanfiction: Our Safe Haven
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Rating: 8.0/10

The ability of OwlsCantRead to read Ducky and Spike’s emotions and to present them in a believable and relatable way is again on display in this tale.  In this story we get to see a Ducky that we do not normally see: a skeptical and uncertain side.  Much like the psychological perspective that was shown in the Five Stages of Grief, in this tale we get to see that much discord and uncertainty can hide under a façade of kindness and cheerfulness.  This is an important lesson in real life and I quite like how this tale teaches it without directly spelling that out.  The fact that Spike, the silent member of the gang, is ultimately the one who is able to make her see the truth in her motivations and to find peace is also a nice touch.  It shows that, like Ducky, there is more to Spike than what meets the eye.  It also shows the value of listening when addressing such mental turmoil in a friend.  Sometimes a kind heart and open ears is more valuable than a thousand words.  Sometimes people just need a friend.

Though my final rating must be reduced slightly from the highest possible values on account of minor word and pacing issues, this is still a very strong tale and one that is amazing for an initial Land Before Time work.  As soon as I read this tale I knew that more great tales were on the way.

Name of fanfiction: Scrambled Eggs
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Rating: 8.5/10

I have to reiterate a humorous misconception that I had when reading this tale.  I came into it expecting something fixated on the Strut and Ozzy and perhaps something humorous and light-hearted.  Boy did I get that wrong.  :p

But my misconceptions aside, this was another strong tale from OwlsCantRead.  Though the initial premise of the gang basically murdering a child seems way out of character at first glance, the context of the danger that the sharptooth might provide and the tragedy in both Littlefoot’s and Cera’s lives at the teeth of such predators allows me to suspend disbelief on that point.  Especially when it is indicated that the parents would most likely kill the child anyway so their actions would merely be doing what would eventually happen.  They understand that if they let him out in the Mysterious Beyond he will either come back or be eaten, and if they tell their parents then they will certainly kill it.  The result is a judgment that shows both the usefulness and weaknesses of utilitarian judgments.  Namely, that one cannot always foresee all of the consequences of one’s actions.  This ultimately leads to the untimely doom of the gang.

Though I normally am not a fan of stories that results in the untimely deaths of the gang, I think in this context it was certainly justifiable and a fitting end of the tale.  The combination of one child’s untimely end with the implied killing of others was an effectively way to show that actions done with the best intentions can sometimes lead to unnecessary suffering.  Though not the most uplifting of stories for obvious reasons, this was yet again another strong offering from a very skilled author.

Name: "A Swim of Silence"
Author: DiddyKF1
Rating: 10/10

As I cannot sum up my thoughts on this story any better than I did in my original review, I will reproduce that review here:

Quote
The story of Judith Barsi is one of those that one cannot look back upon without feeling tremendous loss and a deep anger that one man's narcissistic fixation on himself and his own ego could have driven him to commit such an evil, vile act.  The combination of a kind, heartwarming child with amazing potential and the sad end that she met is one that cannot sit easy with anyone capable of genuine human feeling.  Your ability in this story to place Judith into the continuity and to show us both her suffering against the abuse, and Ducky's understandable concern for her friend, really drives home the absolute horror of the entire situation.

From the very start of the story there is a general sense of unease that only grows as the details build upon themselves.  One gets the sense that not all is right and that Ducky, the usually extroverted and happy swimmer, is faced with a deep melancholy due to something that we cannot see.  And when we are presented with what we did not see, we wish that we could go back to not seeing it - which is one of the biggest problem with abuse.  Too often those who could say or do something, do not do anything.  The blind rage of Rolf that is on display in the initial flashback is one that made my blood go cold.  It is the realization that the person on display has lost all sense of reason and has so little room in his heart for love and compassion that the only outlet is to express selfishness and rage at those who love him.  The realization that this is not just a story, but a LBT retelling of a tragedy and crime that actually did happen, only adds to the general feeling of despair and wishing to yell at the screen for someone to get help.  A help that never came... neither in this story or in real life.

You have truly accomplished an amazing feat in presenting the raw emotion of this terrible tragedy in a manner that allows Ducky to show her feelings about the loss.  Ultimately Ducky's final act in the story of having a swim in Judith's name and then living her life is the best thing to do in cases like these.  We must live our lives for those who no longer have that luxury.  And, to the best of our ability, use their loss as a warning about the consequences of inaction.  You truly have outdid yourself in this entry and though it was a hard read emotionally, it was a difficult for all of the right reasons.

I honestly have nothing that I can possibly add to my original thoughts.  This was a very difficult story to get through emotionally, but in a good way.  This was truly one of the great stories of the year.  :yes

Name: "A Swimmer's Sad Secret"
Author: DiddyKF1
Rating: 8.5/10

This story very effectively shows us the deep reservoir of guilt in Ducky that has developed from Judith's murder, displaying the same knowledge of the characters and the effective storytelling that you displayed in A Swim of Silence.  The same emotional impact and rawness that the precursor displayed is likewise presented in this tale as well.  The inclusion of an unspoken, but clearly shown, lesson that some wounds must simply heal with time and cannot be smoothed away is a harsh lesson that has only be explored once in the franchise with the loss of Littlefoot’s Mother.  In many ways this underlining honesty is the story’s greatest strength.

But ultimately I do feel that A Swim of Silence would have worked effectively as a stand-alone and as such this story feels like more of an epilogue to an existing tale that was already done as opposed to a narrative of its own.  It is for this reason alone that this story did not earn as high of a rating on my end as its predecessor.  But that being said, it is still a great story and one that I would recommend as a lesson in the price of abuse and on the long-lasting scars of psychological trauma.  These are very important lessons and sometimes it takes a story involving a relatable character in order to truly drive that lesson home.

Name of fanfiction: Life Went On
Author(s): DarkWolf91
Rating: 8.5/10

As I said in my original review, this is one of those stories that manage to communicate a lot in a few words.  In many ways Bron has been a somewhat maligned character in the fandom from many people.  The way in which the writer’s of the tenth film explained his absence often struck people the wrong way and made Bron seem like an unrelateable character.  But in this short story we get to see a proper characterization of Littlefoot’s father.  We see his emotional struggle with the knowledge of his mate’s death, his son’s uncertain fate, and the resulting numbness to everything else on account of his loss.  Though we see the initial cracking of this harsh façade in this story, ultimately it will take the struggles and revelations of the tenth film to reunite Bron to what remains of his family.

Though this was a very short story it still managed to tell a captivating and emotional narrative, and to fill in the gaps of our knowledge on an often misunderstood character.  As such I am confident it deserves all the praise it has received.

Name of fanfiction: Too Dark to Find It
Author(s): DarkWolf91
Rating: 9.0/10

Before I begin to review this story, let me say as a fellow writer that the first-person perspective is a very difficult one to pull off in a narrative of any size.  I cannot reiterate this fact enough.  The fact that DarkWolf managed to do so and to make it work in this tale is quite impressive indeed.  :yes

Matters of perspective aside, this story does a nice job in showcasing a character that has not yet been explored much in LBT fanfiction: Etta.  Though we have seen her basic mannerisms, voice patterns, and personality in the 14th film, we have not really had a deeper insight into the character.  This story nicely remedies that deficit by giving us insight into what drives her and her backstory.

As I mentioned in my original review another nice addition to this story is how you conveyed additional insights into flyer beliefs.  Lightning was a mystery to early man and many cultures, which explains the proliferation of thunder gods representing the power and ruthlessness of nature.  For the flyers they see it as simply being part of nature and as something that calls their kind back to the ancestors from time to time.  Etta’s reactions and ultimate decision in this story are very believable and fits into what we know about her character.

Both for its use of a difficult perspective and its effective exploration of a little used character this story easily earns a high rating in my view.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale.