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rhombus

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Fanfiction Voting 2019
« on: September 30, 2019, 11:04:46 PM »
Voting will begin for the fanfiction awards upon the conclusion of the tie-breaker vote for the forum awards, which will be at midnight October 10, 2019.  At that time this topic will be opened for voting.  Voting will last from October 10 at midnight to November 30 at midnight.  However, to allow people to begin reading and preparing their reviews (there is a lengthy total of 21 stories to go through this year), I will go ahead and list the stories that are available for review.

If you wish to vote in private, please send me a PM with your votes. Otherwise, please post your votes in this topic.

This is the voting section for the fanfiction awards only. All fanfictions that have been submitted by your fellow members for voting are listed below. Please only post on this topic to submit your vote, do not ask questions or have discussions here. For questions, please click here and comment on the rules.

You may vote on as many fanfictions as you'd like, but you must have read them first. Please show us in your review that you've truly read the fanfiction.

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Name of Fanfiction: LBT Hatchling Series
Short Summary: The first days of life of each member of the gang
Link to Fanfiction of GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15236.0
Author: The Lone Dragon
Any other comments: Only Ducky's arc of the story is complete.

Name of fanfiction: Return to the Land of Mists
Short summary: One year after the events of the tv-series, Ali's herd once again visits the Great Valley - and of course Rhett is still with them, still seeing Ali as a potential love interest. Littlefoot also begins to realize his feelings for the girl. This results in a grave conflict which ends up sending all of them back to the dangerous Valley of Mists...
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16281.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: ongoing, I would be happy if you waited judging until I have been able to write up to chapter 12. All my efforts are going into getting there as soon as possible now as that chapter will be the conclusion to a very important arc.

Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past 2.0
Short summary: I've revamped the original story a lot so I decided to upload it as a separate new story. Sleepstories are haunting Littlefoot, Ali, Shorty and all other longnecks. They embark on a journey that will lead everyone to a certain oasis far away. Based on LBT 10 but with the addition of Ali and Shorty, whose mysterious past is eventually going to catch up with him...
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16123.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: Ongoing. I've been debating adding this one as it's been going very slow. While I have a lot of content written ahead after putting a lot of time and effort into the story in recent weeks, none of this is uploaded yet and I don't know how much I can add until the voting begins. I would also like to ask those of you who have seen the original story to compare the two as there are 4-5 years in between the two versions. Personally, I can't even recognize myself in large portions of the old story anymore.  Bottom Line: I would also like to ask you to wait until the end of the voting time before you cast your votes as this story will be receiving quite a few additions until then. :)

Name of fanfiction: More than a blinky light
Short summary: A one-shot story set in the Shorty's Dark Past universe which touches on friendship, sorrow and the question where the dead go. Are they still with us? Or gone forever? Featuring my OC Cho and Littlefoot.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16270.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Any other comment: Completed

Name of fanfiction: A Grief Observed
Short summary: A fateful tragedy strikes one night for a young longneck who loses everything he ever cared about in a blink of an eye, but when he receives another chance at life he finds something he never expected to have in his life ever again.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16485.0
Author: Anagnos

Name of fanfiction: The Necessary Truth
Short summary: Sometimes the hardest lessons are those you teach yourself. Ruby was not always known to be responsible. One night she decides to venture outside the comfort and safety of her nest. This journey will test her determination to survive through perilous paths that lurk in this world.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16374.0
Author: Anagnos

Name of fanfiction: Light Among the Darkness
Short summary: In the Land of the Wandering Fields it is tradition for young threehorn males to reenact a duel prior to reaching adulthood. It's supposed to be a symbol of their capability and strength once they become grownups. A young threehorn by the name of Vilar is one of those who are chosen to participate in this crude fight.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16352.0
Author: Anagnos

Name of fanfiction: The Silent Storm
Short summary: Cold Time is just as hard for predators as it is for the prey. For trio of carnivores this one appears to be their most challenging yet—and it turns even worse when they must brave a ferocious storm. However, this unexpected turn of events might assist their cause to success to live another day—or it might turn out to be their downfall...
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16332.0
Author: Anagnos

Name of fanfiction: Separate Ways
Short summary: An unfortunate misunderstanding sets forth a long chain of events, initiating a desperate search and finally leading to a conclusion no one had would have wanted to happen. What follows is an adventure that leads to many wondrous journeys and fearful nightmares that leave no one unchanged. Follow Ruby and Petrie as they struggle against all the odds to survive the Separate Ways.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15514.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: One Fallen, Two Torn Apart
Short summary: Life is a journey of great wonder but also of constant struggle. In one certain horrifying time, Petrie's mother, father and uncle are forced to confront the stark reality eye-to-eye and to try to save their family by any means necessary. The following decisions force the siblings farther away from each other and in the end of it all, the two find everything irrevocably changed.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16251.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: A Father's Hope, A Son's Failure
Short summary: After the death of his legendary father, a young flyer called Liras is struggling to be the leader he was born to be. When potential tragedy strikes his family, he is forced to confront his father's legacy but before everything is said and done, he'll have to pay a heavy price for a valuable lesson.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16354.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: The Birth of Something Beautiful
Short summary: Many seasons ago, in a land far away, two longnecks struggle to form a bond of eternal love. However, that turns out to be more difficult than at least one of them had hoped but on the stake isn't only their own happiness but the very existence of everything that came afterwards in the world of Land Before Time.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16436.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: Of Hubris and Submission
Short summary: The story of Pterano's hapless herd isn't quite what we've been lead to believe. Those events were presented very vaguely in the film and this fic chronicles the events and many decisions that led to this most futile of tragedies from the perspective of its architect and the one dinosaur who could have prevented that sickening slaughter of ever taking place.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16453.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Any other comment:

Name of fanfiction: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky
Short summary: The deep water and the sprawling skies. At first glance, polar opposites of each other. But on closer inspection, more similar than one might think. Two shiny stones allow Ducky and Petrie the chance to live out a separate identity as members of their opposite elements. However, their friendships soon end up intertwined in a web of lies and deceit as a result of their double lives.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16189.0
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Any other comment: In-progress

Name of fanfiction: The Threehorn Way
Short summary: What makes Cera tick? Are threehorns always right and the best at everything?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16264.0
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Any other comment: In-progress

Name of fanfiction: Of Broken Words and Mud Brothers
Short summary: Ostracized and considered an oddball amidst his peers, a Big Water swimmer tries to prove himself, allowing a storm to send him careening into the Great Valley. Hungry for company, he cunningly entangles his fate with that of five young landwalkers. But can the nascent bonds of friendship between those who are so different really be forced, or will this end up backfiring terribly?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16431.0
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Any other comment: In-progress

Name of fanfiction: Boundless Curiosity
Short summary: On one ordinary day in the Great Valley, Datum and Axiom’s leaf-eater friends get a little too interested in how the two rainbowfaces have such a wide myriad of knowledge. Deciding to spy on the pair, they’re about to learn that sometimes, one has to rein in their curiosity. Set in Rhombus’ Seven Hunters continuity.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16476.0
Author(s): OwlsCantRead
Any other comment: Set in the Seven Hunters' continuity. It is recommended to at least have skimmed through Songs of the Hunters to get a rough feel of the new leaf-eater gang’s and the rainbowface sibling's personalities.

Name of fanfiction: The Hurting of Desire
Short summary: Petrie has been left wondering why his family life has been so miserable and why he is a constant victim of his siblings' harassment. One night, when he wakes up from a nightmare and stumbles into a cave containing a special wall of frozen water, it leads to some unexpected self-discovery about himself and his dark past.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16255.0
Author: DiddyKF1
Comment: A story that became personal to me because it is partially based on my own past and a condition that I have.

Name of fanfiction: Is it Right?
Short summary: Littlefoot ponders his newly-formed friendships after arriving in the Great Valley, wondering just how right or wrong the five kids might be in being friends.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16398.0
Author: DiddyKF1

Name of fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Short summary: Based upon a roleplay with Historian1912 and set in the Seven Hunters continuity. Mender has the reputation as being the best healer in the Mysterious Beyond, helping all who require it, but that was not always the case. Follow Mender as she recalls how a lowly fastbiter eventually found her place in life once she met a most unusual pack. This is Mender's Tale.
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15045.0
Author(s): Rhombus and Historian1912
Any other comment: - This is the sequel to the Seven Hunters and Songs of the Hunters.  If you do not read those two stories then not much in this story will make sense to you.

Name of fanfiction: The Pursuit of Endless Day
Short summary: A response to the June 2018 Gang of Five fanfiction prompt challenge. When Petrie is faced with a revelation about his most cherished beliefs that he finds distasteful how will he adapt to the realization? Will his beliefs be renewed with vigor? Or could both him and his beliefs die in the unforgiving glare of the merciless sun?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16066
Author(s): Rhombus
Any other comment: - Still incomplete and coming along slowly. I am sure Petrie is disappointed as this was supposed to be a one week flight and he has now been up there for over a year. :p Nonetheless, I am curious about everyone's thoughts for the story thus far.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2019, 07:34:03 AM by rhombus »


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2019, 06:22:11 PM »


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

OwlsCantRead

  • Finally got Petrie rank :)
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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2019, 06:12:43 AM »
*crickets for a week*

Yeah, apologies for being an entire week late. My university semester's heating up. I'll start with the one with the least amount of work required for reviewing.

Name of fanfiction: LBT Hatchling Series
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: TLD is excellent at portraying swimmer culture and behavior, and here he shows it off well by showing Sura’s acceptance of motherhood with her first clutch of children.

The elaboration of just how wonderful Sura finds her children after her anguished breakdown over being a mother coupled with Ducky’s childlike behavior from her own hatchling POV is fluff that’s truly heartwarming to read. Though it does have a trace amount of grammatical faults like The Swimmer Trials, the content and atmosphere more than makes up for it overall. The development and portrayal of characters such as the closed-off Elliot, the antics of Sura’s children, and even the banter between various herd members really bring life to the herd and makes it feel alive, like we’re really seeing an apprehensive mother coming to terms with her bundle of joy.

While I know that this fic will eventually branch out into the other members of the Gang of Seven, the existing two chapters featuring Ducky I find best read as a companion piece to The Swimmer Trials. Though a self-contained prequel, it is nice to finally receive some compelling backstory as to why Sculra has such a grudge against Sura in that story. It adds an undertone of dread, knowing what's coming in the future, but not enough to dampen the overall merry mood of everyone as our favorite swimmer begins her crazy antics of driving her mother insane with worry. :p
This quaint creature soars when the Night Circle is poised at the highest point of the twilight sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer. :P



Sovereign

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2019, 11:06:28 AM »
It’s a bit awkward to release nearly all of the reviews at the same time but I was too lazy to post them in smaller segments. :p That being said, most of the fics were really strong this year and there were only a few ones to whom I gave a significantly weaker grade. Then again, I didn’t give any fic the perfect 10 so that’s also a change from the past years. This bunch of reviews doesn’t include the two stories from Ducky as he asked for them to be reviewed later. Anyway, I hope you like these reviews and find them fair and balanced! :duckyhappy



Name of Fanfiction: LBT Hatchling Series
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: This has thus far been an extremely solid and fun story that despite its short length had carried a lot of sweet emotions. It is a pretty novel idea to chronicle the Gang’s first days even if it hasn’t really built any meaningful plot. It has just been rather amusing to follow Ducky and her siblings’ first efforts to make sense of the world around them while also taking a look on how their parents see their children and their lives in this momentous situation.

Especially after reading the Swimmer Trials, I really like how you’ve characterized the children in their early infancy as those brief interactions have started to create certain bonds between the children. You’ve also created a tangible feeling of happiness around Sura and Ruphus and it is a positive read throughout. The first chapter went through Ducky’s birth in a way that deepened the film’s portrayal of it while the second continued those events while also turning this story into a prequel for TST. I’m curious on whether the others’ arcs continue this trend of showing how the first bonds of the characters were formed, soon to be followed as a brief scene showing their greatest future threat.

Now, I cannot give this story a perfect score for two reasons. First, I’m not too crazy about reading about newborn children overall which made certain segments a bit awkward to read through, even if you handled the premise in the best possible way. My second reason is that the lack of plot prevents this story from ever becoming an extremely impactful one but then again, these more low-key stories are also fun to read from time to time.

The level of writing portrayed here was extremely good, though, and this fic certainly was one of the stronger ones we saw this year. I really want to see just how you’ll handle the other arcs of this story without them becoming repetitive or too formulaic. But overall, I’m certain you have good ideas on how to continue and I hope we’ll see more stuff from you next year.


Name of Fanfiction: More than a blinky light
Rating: 9/10
Review: In many ways, this one was one of my favorite stories from you this year. It was a simple yet effective look into both Littlefoot and Cho’s characters while also building their mutual relationship really well. It started in a rather low key but even that was turned into an advantage as you really showed here how difficult it was for Littlefoot to really get through to Cho. Long discussions such as this one are the kinds of scenes I tend to struggle myself.

As the scene progressed, more than more emotions were starting to be brought up and the way the boy drew parallels between himself and Cho was quite heartwarming as was his willingness to simply help her feel better. It was a great testament to his character and provided one of the best characterization of him I’ve seen. Also, Cho’s slow opening to him was quite nice to see and this scene was quite a heartwarming one.

Yet, I can’t give this one-shot a perfect score as the ending to it, while emotional, was a bit weird. While it was a good idea to show that Littlefoot’s special star, for example, is seen only by him, the idea is taken too far by thinking all the stars are dead dinosaurs. Now, it is a good belief for children, which fits this story perfectly, but it also left me to wonder a bit about the overall themes of this story.

Even then, this was a very good story and one that promises a very good future for the eventual character development of Shorty’s Dark Past. In many ways, the level of writing here is close to your best ever and it was a real pleasure to read it again. But even without SDP, this story was a solid one in itself and one of the highlights of the year.


Name of Fanfiction: A Grief Observed.
Rating: 9,5/10
Review: Now this story was a real treat to see. As I’ve said before, Anagnos has improved visibly with each story this year and this fic has thus far proven to be the pinnacle of that development. Not only is it much more solid and free of mistakes than its predecessor but I also have tremendous respect to its ambitiousness which managed to create a good and intriguing vision of Shorty’s past. While it could have worked even better as a semi-long, multi-chaptered story, this fic was a major step forward for its author.

The scenes portrayed here were very well assembled, from the loss of Shorty’s home to his eventual meeting with Bron. Few stories have managed to portray so many interesting and emotional scenes in one story and I’m really happy that this kind of background has been created for Littlefoot’s brother. In fact, the scale and feel of this story reminds me of my own story, One Fallen, Two Torn Apart, as both of them aim to create a wide-reaching and detailed look into a character’s past.

It’s hard to pick a favorite moment from this story as all parts of it were similarly engaging. However, Shorty’s meeting with the other children and Bron were very sweetly done and they fit the mentioned characters perfectly. Yet, as I said in the original review, there were some parts where the mood seemed to fall a bit flat because of long segments with nothing but thoughts which were reminiscent of your older stories. Yet, those are minor points when reviewing this story.

All in all, this story allows me to look forward to your future fics. It’s been great to follow your improvement in the past six months and as the prompts resume next year, you will certainly be one of the frontrunners. This story is your best one thus far but there is still room for improvement and I’m sure you’ll be able to fix the problems I mentioned. But for now, great job!


Name of Fanfiction: The Necessary Truth
Rating: 7/10
Review: This story offered a pretty good look into Ruby’s earlier childhood and it had a decent feeling to it. The premise was quite an interesting one and it was quite funny to see a very different Ruby than the one we’ve come to know. Likewise, the lesson at the end was done very nicely and wrapped this story up very well.

One of the strengths of this was showing a new aspect to Ruby’s family’s life and it also proved you know them quite well. Detras and Pearl’s worrying about their daughter was rather believable even if I would have made them more fearful myself. However, the ending was a nice one as it was very believable for the fastrunner family. I like them rather much myself so I had a good time reading about their worrying day.

The long sequences of simply describing the fastrunner’s thoughts and actions was simultaneously a positive and negative for this fic. While it was nice that you offered such a deep look into Ruby’s thoughts, it also made this fic a bit jarring. The plot, while interesting, seemed to move forward rather slowly which has also been noticeable in your other stories. In some parts, it was a bit difficult for me to keep my concentration up which was rather awkward. And while the ending worked quite well in many ways, it also didn’t offer much suspense.

Now, I must apologize for sounding negative but it was good to see you’ve managed to patch up most of the issues mentioned here in your last story. While the idea was a good one here, you couldn’t quite utilize it quite perfectly which explains my considerably lower score. But as I said, this story seems to be but one episode in your way to improving your abilities so it served its purpose.


Name of Fanfiction: Light Among the Darkness
Rating: 8/10
Review: In my view, this is your second-strongest fic of the year. Not only did it offer a rather captivating premise but it also provided us with very intriguing characters. It was very easy to feel for Vilar throughout this fic but perhaps the most interesting part was the long battle between the two threehorns. It was a really solid battle scene which offered both dread and hope but even then, there were elements in this story that weren’t quite on point.

First of all, you did a very good job in creating a lot of tension between Vilar and Craster and it was very easy to get involved into the struggle. This was achieved to a large degree by the amount of buildup at the beginning of this fic and it was nice to see how many dinosaurs were rooting for the main character here. Likewise, Grimlock’s malice brought more nice feels into this fic which made it quite interesting throughout.

The reason I can’t give this a higher rating is mostly because of the pacing and the ending. While the first scenes, as I said, were nice for buildup, they were also even too long and inflated the story’s length quite a lot. As for the ending, Craster’s sudden wish for death seemed really off for me as it didn’t really suit his character. Likewise, lines like “I can’t live with myself anymore.” felt too dramatic for the situation. The ending was only one scene but it is obviously a key part of any fic.

Even then, this was a good short story and a major step forward from your two first stories. It was much more interesting and well-built than they were and it was this fic that raised my hopes for your writing tremendously. There were signs of your overall faults in this fic as well but this time, they were much fewer than the story’s obvious strengths.



Name of Fanfiction: The Silent Storm
Rating: 6/10
Review: There were certain things I liked in this story even if it wasn’t my favorite one of the year. For example, you managed to create rather enjoyable dynamics between Red Claw’s pack and that sequence was quite nice throughout. However, the main premise of this fic wasn’t that compelling and there were many faults that dragged the rating down somewhat.

As I said, the overall premise of underlining Screech and Thud’s relationship was a good one and I can respect your efforts to create some kind of a story around the threehorns as well. However, that never got off the ground and the final scenes were both a bit uneventful as well as heavy to read due to the long paragraphs. Also, the ending itself didn’t really tie a whole many things up and it left a rather empty feeling.

This isn’t a bad story but it is a bit modest compared to your other fics. Your clearest problems thus far, namely the loss of emotion due to too much description and less than perfect pace were perhaps best seen here and I’m happy you got over those as well as you did. This story showed that you could create nice relationships and dialogue but when I first read it, I couldn’t help but feel this to be a bit of a letdown.

But as I said, it is a thing of the past and this fic managed to help you learn more about writing and to be sure, there have been far more modest stories than this. This was a rather solid, if not exactly captivating and exciting, prompt response that nonetheless earns its place among your stories this year.


Name of Fanfiction: Waves Crashing Against the Sky
Rating: 9,5/10
Review: I’ll admit, I wasn’t immediately convinced by this story when I first started reading it. The first few chapters seemed quite slow and I wasn’t that impressed by them. However, those feelings were swept away as soon as we got to Petrie’s transformation as the following chapters have been close to pure fireworks.

While the last chapter was easily the best one in my view, the story has started to progress in a very intriguing direction as of late. I love how you’ve described the new Petrie and just how you’ve created the tension that is now present in this fic. Petrie and Ducky’s warm but distant relationship as well as this mysterious conspiracy surrounding these stones are extremely interesting plot points that I’ll look forward to reading more about.

The thing is, there are also some elements in the plot I don’t really approve of. Fenris’ character is one of those and I’m not at all fond of a completely evil villain in a story like this and he is the weakest point of this fic thus far. However, the way you’ve portrayed even him is really quite spectacular and in terms of pure skill in writing and feeling in the text itself, this might really be the year’s strongest story. It has kept me on the edge of my chair quite often and it’s one of those stories where it feels like every word is meaningful.

I know very well this story is just in its early stages and there will be many more things to be revealed before long but even now, this fic has not only shown promise but it has been a very exciting one as well. I truly believe you can keep up with the great quality of this fic in the months to come and this fic, along with your other works, make you one of the best authors on GoF.


Name of Fanfiction: The Threehorn Way
Rating: 9/10
Review: This has been a really fun story thus far and you’ve really nailed the first-person view here. You’ve done a really good jobbing in exploring Cera’s mental landscape during the first film while also reconciling her bad and good aspects. This has been quite a unique tale that has not only been executed well but it has also done a good job in widening our understanding of the character in the first film. Though, retelling that tale again also holds this story back a bit.

It is quite clear that this won’t be a long story and it also underlines that the main goal here is to simply sort out Cera’s thoughts which is a good idea. One thing I really like is how you’ve put her way of speaking to this fic as it makes this a far more relatable read. Cera’s endless appreciation of her father is in full display here and it’s sometimes even eerie how fanatically Cera is following his principles.

As the story progresses, the threehorn’s ideology gets challenged more and more but it makes sense she isn’t planning to give it up that easily. Her resorting to the belief of her kind’s supremacy over the others is very believable from the film and it was quite a sad part in her character development. It’ll be interesting to see just how you plan to continue this story as from now on, the tensions inside the Gang are only going to increase.

Even if rewrites rarely reach any degrees of greatness, you’ve justified very well just why this fic needs to exist. You’ve not only underlined your understanding of Cera’s character in the first film but you’ve also made an amazing case for the first-person storytelling and I might try it myself in the next year’s prompts. The lack of suspense in this story is a slight downer but as I’ve said, the level of writing itself is the most notable feature of this fic.



Name of Fanfiction: Of Broken Words and Mud Brothers
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: This is another interesting short story that holds a lot of potential as it proceeds. As has been said before, Mo certainly deserves more focus in fanfics than what he has received and you’ve certainly done justice to his character with this backstory. We have had very little idea about his past and it certainly doesn’t seem to be as happy as one may believe judging from his cheerfulness.

The plot has been quite solid thus and the first chapter describing Mo’s exile was really emotional. It was very easy to see just how painful it was to the swimmer considering the real gloom that for the first time descended upon him. Likewise, Orca and Kelp’s characterizations were solid in the way that they didn’t want to get rid of Mo for hating him but rather because they saw him as a burden to the herd. That distinction is something I really liked.

As for Mo’s quest to redeem himself, it remains to be seen how it’ll go. The concept at least is a fun one and the swimming sharptooth’s presence make things very interesting. The last chapter was very intense and once again shows that your stories have been very strong this year. I gave this fic a bit lower rating as it wasn’t quite as rock solid as the other ones in terms of writing and it’s still far from finished.

Even then, I like this fic as well as it has created very interesting herd dynamics, emotional scenes and a very nice quest where it is easy to relate to the swimmer’s fears and hopes. I look forward to seeing how you’ll continue this story as it seems very probable that we’ll soon reach the point where Mo is introduced in the film. It’ll be interesting to see what you’ll do after that point but thus far, it has been a very good short story.



Name of Fanfiction: Boundless Curiosity
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: It feels funny to review this again considering that I did so only a month ago. As I said before, this story’s premise is an extremely strong one and one that needed to be utilized at some point. The idea of showing just how different the rainbowfaces’ and the other children’s’  views of the world are while still showing their affection for each other is similar to their friends was a really sweet one. It was also nice to see that the others still respect Datum’s secrecy even if they practically caught him speaking about stuff no dinosaur should know.

At the same time, the rest of the new Gang’s curiosity is tangible and it’s difficult not to join them in demanding answers from the rainbowfaces. The first scene’s lightheartedness and simple willingness to learn something new and Datum’s later conflict about his situation both underlined the characters’ differences which created a new level of depth into the narrative.  Chronos and Logos’ words to their children only reinforced this impression.

It’s clear that the scene presented here solved nothing in the long term, however. Tricia’s determination to get answers will certainly lead to some uncomfortable situations for Datum and Axiom. While this kind of resolution is the only fitting one for a story like this, it also leaves us practically where we started. I said it before but I didn’t find the ending too satisfying even if we did get some much needed information about the new Gang’s internal relationships.

Overall, this was a good tale which was a good way to finish your prompts for this season. I always like to see stories situated in another fic’s universe and you did that very well here. Despite the simplistic plot, this was one of the strongest fics you did character-wise which is quickly becoming one of your greatest strengths. Your fics were extremely good this year and I’m more than sure that trend will continue next year as well.


Name of Fanfiction: The Hurting of Desire
Rating: 8,5/10
Review: This was, in my opinion, your strongest story of the year and it was a great story throughout. The way the tension and hurt were built inside Petrie was rather emotional and the HP inspiration was far from misguided here. There were a few issues, mainly with some parts of dialogue and few plot points, but mostly this was a very good read despite the few issues.

The deterioration of the flyer’s family life wasn’t a new plot point bit you did a very good job in that regard, especially in making the reader as outraged as possible. Petrie’s fall into ever deeper depression is very believable and at the same time, it was disheartening to see just how powerless Petrie’s mother was to stop the bullying, at least initially. Many of Petrie’s struggles were pointless from the start which only made the older flyer’s role more reliable.

As for the latter part of this story, it was very well done. It was nice to see just how deeply Petrie wants his family to be complete but even then, that dream is as unachievable for him as it was for Harry. His mother’s efforts to cheer him up were equally heartwarming even if there was the issue with the dialogue I mentioned in my original review. However, it was also nice to see him still being able to see Petrie being able to listen to reason after all he’s gone through.

One of the main reasons for the missing points is the resorting to potty stuff to make Petrie feel miserable which, while effective, isn’t that fun to read about. The same plot point has been used in your other story, Gone Too Far, which was a bit awkward. I’d love to give this an even higher rating but even then, this was a great story that certainly was your best effort in these awards.


Name of Fanfiction: Is it right?
Rating: 6/10
Review: This fic had a good idea and it was very interesting to see Littlefoot and the others think about this rather fundamental change in their viewpoints. As has been stated many times before, the change of tone between the first and second films is extremely profound and the issue presented here is one of those many questions. It was pretty nice to see the Gang earning their families’ acceptance after everything they went through.

The reasons for the lower rating are largely because of how brief this fic was as well as certain thematic choices. in this fic. There were certain unfitting word choices and the contrast between the Gang and their families was a bit too profound. The shortness of the chapter, on the other hand, forced the latter part of this story to be handled a bit too quickly which prevented the full impact of this tale to be utilized.

Now, this was a decent short story and one that addressed an important detail in the Land Before Time lore but some of the themes and the apparent lack of ambition made it difficult for me to really like it. I don’t want to sound too negative but this wasn’t my favorite story of the year even if it still held most of the nice dialogue of your other stories. While this story wasn’t perfect, I truly hope you’ll return next year stronger than ever.



Name of Fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Rating: 9,5/10
Review: I’ve quite liked how this story has developed over the past year. The situation has escalated rather dramatically and there have been many memorable and dramatic
scenes and sequences lately that have continued to make this story even more interesting than before. It is clear that there is still a lot that’ll happen before the end but for now, it’s certain there will be monumental events in the horizon.

The change to reciting only the modern-day storylines has made this fic easier to follow and it also allowed this story to become more coherent than before. It is also simpler to get
interested in all of the plots this way so I’ve liked quite a lot about the changes since the last awards. Of the events themselves, the most memorable ones were Mender’s near-death as well as Penol’s adventures in Wrok’s herd. Though the first one’s resolution was a bit too obvious, it was nonetheless a pair of chapters that made me worried for a while.

As for Penol, I’ve voiced my liking to her arc before due to the clear danger she’s in as well as the way she tries to navigate herself through it while also wondering what she wants. Overall, all of the plotlines are moving forward really smoothly. Even if there seems to be a large-scale attack on Wrok in the horizon, it’s very apparent at this point that it will only open more possibilities, possibly after Questor’s intervention.

All in all, this story has continued to develop very well and in fact, in some ways I’d say this has been MT’S strongest year. Even then, I’d still want to see something more that can make this story truly shine as its predecessor did. I just hope there won’t be any major hiatuses coming to this story as I’m sure there will be a lot of amazing stuff still to come in Mender’s Tale.


Name of Fanfiction: The Pursuit of Endless Day
Rating: 9/10
Review: Despite its rather modest progression this year, this story has been really interesting to follow. Even if the premise was a bit simple at first, you’ve managed to build more and more stuff around it which has made the fic much more interesting than I thought it would be. Then again, I shouldn’t have expected no less from an author like you and this fic has real potential to reach great heights.

As I said first, the basic idea, while intriguing, didn’t offer a whole lot suspense but as we learned just how much has happened in Petrie’s life lately, it was clear just how much truly is at stake here. Petrie is not simply willing to do the Pursuit because of some misguided pride or ambition but as a way to atone for the death of Zagar even if Petrie didn’t do anything wrong in that situation. It was a great idea to make this stem from an accident as it makes the morals and motives of any story that much more complex.

You did very well by keeping these underlying motives as a mystery in the start and even now, Petrie’s own thoughts seem more than complex at the moment and right now, we have very little idea how this fic will proceed from this point on. Judging by the conclusion of the latest chapter, it is very unlikely anything good is waiting for Petrie and considering how you’ve built this fic thus far, I’m sure you have many amazing ideas in story. Even then, the missing point is because of this uncertainty as the zeniths of this story are still waiting in the future.

These two stories have been rather phenomenal and your writing has been extremely solid during the past year. Still, it has been a bit sad that these have been your only fics since the last awards but I do understand that you have very little time for all this. I can just advise you to keep up with what your doing as these two stories hold very good potential to one day earn the perfect scores from me.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2019, 11:08:08 AM by Sovereign »



Anagnos

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2019, 11:50:10 AM »
I might have not nearly as many reviews as some here, the reason being that there were 4 stories that I couldn't be able to review, due to not actually reading them. ::) I realize some out there might say, ''Well, go and read them!'' However, I have decided not to, as to put it simply without going around in circles... I am lazy. Nevertheless, here are the reviews I managed to write down earlier, albeit like Sovereign, I will refrain from posting one story from Ducky for the same reason. :)



Name of Fanfiction: Separate Ways
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: Even if I forgot this story for a certain period of time, it was still on my mind nevertheless. The unique circumstances and emotions this story conveys in some many ways; fear, flush of victory, disappointment, resentment and happiness, for example, are so professionally told from the perspective of the characters that you genuinely feel the tension in the air as if you were there right beside them. Ruby and Petrie as the ’’main characters’’ are not usually my preference, but I must say that it works perfectly here in more ways than one. I also quite like some of the transactions in the narrative, like how later on we see one chapter of Petrie’s journey through tribulations and distress to Ruby’s handling with deceit and heartache in many-sided fashion. It is definitely looking to be perhaps one of the memorable stories thus far.


Name of Fanfiction: A Father's Hope, A Son's Failure
Rating: 7/10
Review: This was a very nice little addition to the world of Separate ways in where we see the expansion of a character’s background that is highly revered amidst a group of flyers desperate to uncover his secret to greatness. Not only that, it also shows us yet another unseen part of the tale with the personal ordeal’s of an unfortunate and despondent father willing to do anything to save his child from certain death. What I really liked in this story was the author’s ability to convey the sadness, desperation and greed for gain in various ways that sincerely touch the reader and make them sympathize with the hopeless father. Outset of the narrative really sets itself as heart-breaking with Olres’ passing and the last words directed at his son and heir, Liras. That naturally enunciated what would follow in later parts of the narrative and it took the concept into a totally different direction with the revelation of these so called ’’ghosts’’ appearing for Liras and accuse him for all the mistakes he made.


Name of fanfiction: The Birth of Something Beautiful
Rating: 9/10
Review: Undoubtedly one of the best fanfics produced this year in which the author seemed to give their everything to make a perfect story imaginable. In this fic, we got to witness the blossoming love developing between two longnecks that would eventually grow to become the parents of the adventurous longneck we all know and love—Littlefoot. The relationship between these two before becoming mates was exceedingly intriguing to take a look at, giving us an unprecedented moment seldom either explored or conversed about in the franchise. I’ve said it numerous times and I simply must say it once more; I am not a big fan of romance based stories, but like I said in my review, this definitely was top notch quality of a work and I absolutely loved every second of reading it.

It has been likewise just as absorbing to explore what could have been had things gone a bit differently towards the end with Tranquil choosing Bron’s brother in the end. I wonder how that could have potentially altered the overall story from where the whole thing initially began all those years ago. Alas, it is not for us to decide such matters, but it still is an interesting concept to ponder. The tension shown between the siblings to be permitted to have the same thing for themselves while indirectly or directly making sure that neither would have a chance to get closer to Tranquil, and while that did backfire on Beros in the end with Bron finally winning the small contest, the deep love they shared together as siblings contingently might have been altered to another kind, but still holding strong despite that.


Name of fanfiction: Of Hubris and Submission
Rating: 8/10
Review: This story was a rather interesting one that expanded the role of not so well utilized character in my opinion. What I found most enjoyable about this tale in its entirety, was how Pterano’s past was heavily expanded upon from the released material from his past before the fiasco with the Stone of Cold Fire. It also broadened his own personal history significantly, as we see him struggle being not just a leader of his newfound herd, but his internal struggle with his own emotions regarding their desperate journey to reach the Great Valley.

The different feelings and emotions were brought up very efficiently, leaving no incoherent sentiments for me at least. I also liked the addition of Topps’ mate and the rest of his children into the story, expanding that unknown territory from which the original movie left us to ponder what really might have occurred during the grownups journey while Littlefoot and the gang were busy with their own predicaments. The conclusion of the story was pretty much what one would expect from Pterano; he misplaced his own wrongdoings as ’’not his fault’’ and was pretty adamant about redeeming himself not just in the eyes of the remainder of the herd, but in the eyes of everyone and rise above the world as the greatest flyer that ever lived. I really liked it when an author takes a more unique character as their protagonist and expands the universe with little, but significant details throughout the story.


Name of fanfiction: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky
Rating: 8/10
Review: A relatively new story for me and I am very glad that I hadn’t read this one previously as to have no previous knowledge of what could have happened in the previous chapters, therefore going totally blind as they say. The story was so captivating that I actually ended up reading the bulk of the story in just a few days, it could be the author’s exceptional way to explain things in high-detail, or it could just be how different emotions and actions are conveyed here, which I liked considerably. I am always one to go into more detailed versions in creative writing. But I’m not saying that is the only thing I enjoy, but in this kind of a tale it works more than enough.

One other thing I like is the way characters thoughts and actions are shown from start to finish and the storytelling is quite exceptional in quality with making the reader as intrigued as possible and I can clearly see why so many people like these kinds of stories overall. While the overall plot has been moving a bit slowly, the plot is gradually starting to move on as we go further on into the unknown of the universe in question. The tension has been kept high at all times when the situation demands for it, the phenomenal atmosphere here is certainly something worth taking notice of in its own special way. To speed this up, Petrie has been put on a rock and a hard place in many situations in the past, but this is nothing compared to what he is currently facing – living a life in a stranger’s body, or rather as different species due to Vekal’s schemes that I’d say are not as well-known as one might expect.

The following chapters felt a bit stronger in terms of giving the reader that much needed action all the while keeping track with the more tranquil parts of the story, which isn’t a bad thing altogether, but usually when a story only focuses on one of these factors, it tends to get a bit boring after a while. However, I’m glad that sort of a thing has not happened to be yet, and I pray the situation won’t change either as I quite like what we have seen so far with not just Vekal and his ambitions, but with him having to deal with the obnoxious swimmer, Ferris along with all the rest. I can’t imagine that is anywhere close to easy for him to achieve, and time will tell if all of that simply be too much for him to bear.

The challenge we are currently witnessing is most certainly going to be one of the main points of this story that will refine the entire plot as it goes. The possible infighting not just among the valley residents, but also any other person that wishes to control the powers of the Stone of Great Change. Amidst all of this drama, it is also very heartwarming to see some of that special encouragement between Ducky and Petrie, only she doesn’t yet realize who this swimmer actually is and I can already see that future confrontation will be a hard one to endure.


Name of fanfiction: The Threehorn Way
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: This story has been quite interesting so far, and even if it isn’t my usual preferred story, I am very much intrigued by how the dynamics of the characters and the plot will deviate from the original concept to be an original idea instead of following a set plan the movies left behind. I also very much approve of expanding the plot of the original film in this special kind of way with presenting a look at the lives of the arrogant threehorns, and by extension, Cera herself. For this very reason, I believe it is the most interesting plot point we have seen thus far in the entire narrative.

So far, I haven’t run into much of anything I can overly criticize about, but the future will no doubt show if there has ever been a need for that or if things will continue to roll as they are right now. The outlook on life from the perspective of the threehorns is a pretty basic one; they are the best while everything else is feeble in comparison, and that point has been done relatively well up until this point, so no major critiques from me about this matter at least. Cera’s characterization has also been kept on point as it should be in the original film, deviating from this would raise some eyebrows from people and they wouldn’t necessarily be good either, as that persona is what drives her on in the first film until she finally learns a hard and a necessary lesson in life.

We are only following the set quota of the original film as of now, but I’m certain that the author has a trick or two up in his sleeve to make things more intriguing in the long run, so as not to bore the readers too much as that tends to be a general point in some stories that have good idea behind it, but the overall execution has either been shortsighted, or completely failed in the end. The future will not be a kind one for the gang as we all know what will happen before they finally reach their destination. However, part of me is hoping for a something different to happen, as that would somewhat speed up the process concerning the more interesting parts of the tale. Like, what is something else was done differently than in the original concept? I feel like that would make some matters far more interesting to follow, but the author has the final say in these things as always, and a part of me is a bit skeptical about things transforming into something like this in that kind of a fashion.


Name of fanfiction: Of Broken Words and Mud Brothers
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: This was definitely a welcome surprise to the fanfiction section this year, as Mo is a character that is very much underutilized, in my opinion. For this reason, I was most glad to see someone taking the challenge of writing a story about him, and even if this particular tale seems to be only a recollection of the film’s events from Mo’s point of view, it doesn’t downgrade the quality of the tale in any way. As of this moment, this story is starting to look very promising indeed and even if the chapters are released separately instead of in one go, I quite look forward to every new chapter of this story.

It has been quite sorrowful to witness Mo at his lowest, as I’m sure there are others who agree that seeing more acting like this instead of a happy individual with no qualms about anything whatsoever and the very reason why he became the outcast among his own kind. Quite interesting in which way this story took so early on, as at the end of the movie, Mo’s kin appeared to be very happy and welcomed him back with open arms, or in this case, fins. It will be very intriguing to see how the story will develop in this part particularly, as I feel that is easily one of the most interesting plot points laid on the table for consideration.

However, these matters are made a little bit better when it is revealed that Mo won’t be completely alone in his task of showing to his kin that he is worthy of being among them. My only worry is that for some reason, Tenor’s offer presents more than just opportunities – something isn’t quite adding up with his behavior and actions lately. I may be just reading into it a bit too much, but I feel like the upcoming challenges will have an unexpected twist on them that either will cause Mo a great deal of success, or a great deal of suffering and I’m most certainly hoping for the former. Likewise, his encounter with the swimming sharptooth definitely set some very important groundwork for future chapters that will most likely explore this unnatural relationship between the two individuals. Albeit it will remain antagonistic for the duration of the tale, it would be very much appreciated if the readers could see some yet unknown sections of this particular development.

The future chapters are pretty much going to be what one would expect; eventually, Mo is going to run in with the gang and we all know how the story goes from there. But what if that is the big twist in reality? Are we going to see some never before seen scenes happen in the narrative at some point that were absent from the film? That could potentially drive the story a lot further into greatness, but it remains to be seen what the upcoming installments will bring us. After all, we won’t know until we get to that point.


Name of fanfiction: Boundless Curiosity
Rating: 9/10
Review: Now this particular tale was a very well-done and intriguing attempt to flesh out the more unknown section of the Seven Hunters trilogy – the dynamics of the leaf-eater gang, and by extension, the rainbowface children. I really liked that we delved more into the uncharted territory in this story and the explanations of the inner way of life concerning the rainbowfaces that is seldom shown in a way such as those that emanates dividual knowledge about their emotions an what drives them further in life.

The fic was built quite solidly and I liked the idea of expanding the narrative in comparison to what it used to be in the past. Upgrading and exploring new possible plot lines that are not necessarily connected to the larger part can work relatively well if done correctly, and that was the case in this story. While the characters might have been acting a bit differently, it was not overly major issue overall, and dare I say that is actually a good point rather than a mistake. Although some parts of the dialogue felt a bit weird, it was minor compared to the overall feeling and emotion that was put into the story on a large scale.

As the story progressed, we are introduced another side to these small leaf-eater children that has been mostly forgotten in the original series, which is quite disappointing, as I liked this story so much and would like to see more like this in the future. It would also be beneficial to see this kind of a narrative implemented in the Hunters trilogy as well, though I’d understand if that is not possible for some reason. The surreptitious life that the rainbowfaces live in is not exactly a paradise as some might have thought.

Constantly, they are on the edge of their seat, fearing that someone might discover something they are not supposed to, a memory of Chronos and Logos’ early days way before their children came into the picture. In this scenario, I am referring to the pointed sticks that Spotter (Petrie) accidentally discovered and that lead to some unforeseen consequences to take place. While it may have been a relatively minor consequence in comparison to what could have happened, the implications that something terrible might happen at any given time should their most cherished secrets come to light must be quite scary to live with.

The major issue with this story was that the story just ended without much of a good conclusion, a captivating one, you might say. But as some might have already guessed, this was a relatively minor point in comparison to the amazing and very captivating environment presented here. The author certainly did a very good job with fleshing out these characters all the while staying loyal to the original concept of the series. For that very reason, I don’t hesitate when I say that this was one of the best short stories this year and I can’t wait for new possible stories such as this one in the future, if that is granted to us.


Name of fanfiction: The Hurting of Desire
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: While this story might be more on the other side of existing fanfictions, and even if I needed to read it once more to fully collect my thoughts about it and create a good enough feedback, for the most part the story was a success, but I did have a few issues with this story overall and we’ll go through them a bit later here. First of all, I absolutely enjoyed the special way character’s emotions and actions are expressed in the narrative, the way it was done is certainly unique and easy to distinguish.

It was especially heartbreaking to see how Petrie’s family life keeps on getting worse and worse as time goes by. I couldn’t imagine living in such conditions where your own siblings are constantly harassing you over every little thing for no reason other than making themselves feel more powerful by putting others down. That’s the basic idea of a bully, they make life hard for others because their own life is not the best of quality, and even if that makes a person feel sympathy for them, it starts to get harder and harder when their constant attempts to cause drama goes way overboard.

The conversations between Petrie and his mother showed a very deep and passionate relationship between the two of them, as a mother and a son should have. These scenes were exceptionally well detailed and the dialogue worked well over the course of the narrative and didn’t feel too forced to the reader. My main points of critique would mostly be with copying the mirror scene from Harry Potter, as I thought that mixing two universes together in this fashion is usually a no-go or a success, and in this case it was the former.

Deviating from the original text is also a good option, giving that sense of originality that was almost completely absent here. The description of autism was too overly detailed for a dinosaur and felt forced at times. For the dream sequence in the tale, while it was a welcome and successful addition, overall, might have worked better had it been a bit shorter and less detailed.

But overall, this was quite an exceptional story that took me by surprise by how good it turned out to be when one overlooked these small critiques. I think that this story conveyed that message of deep bonding between a parent and a child remarkably well, and while some parts might have been a bit too forced at times, it doesn’t cause the overall quality to downgrade much at all. At the end of the day, I also believe that the author attempted to hide a message of some sorts in this story’s narrative, and that would be; just be yourself, and don’t mind what others might think of you, and it was conveyed very well.


Name of fanfiction: Is it Right?
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: This story did many things right and showed many qualities of our beloved gang that had been thus far, slightly undiscovered, in my opinion. The importance of forged friendships, family, overcoming one’s weaknesses and doing what feels like the right thing overall. These particular segments were done very well and I’d say they are a big part of why the story was a success. It also showed a much needed conclusion to the original film, as some people have said and I find myself agreeing with them wholeheartedly.

It really feels like this is exactly what would have happened once the gang had gotten over the shock of finally reaching the Great Valley on their own after experiencing a terrible event in their young lives. For some those scars will never heal, and some survived far better than others. The conversations throughout the narrative felt alright, even if I may have not liked all of them, it conveyed the message of finally being safe and figuring out where to go from there with no major problems resurfacing at any given time. I did like Cera finally standing up to her father, showing that perhaps even she had in a way disliked what was being done, although all may not agree with that assessment.

Back to the previous point for a while, it also gave us a bit of an insight to Cera’s inner thoughts on the matter, which was a very welcome addition. I wonder what exactly went through her head when she and Littlefoot fought about which way to take. Her expression certainly didn’t show any hint or trace of regret when she uttered those cruel words about Littlefoot’s mother, but what about her inner emotions that we didn’t get to see? I find that very intriguing to ponder about. The story ended on a good note in my opinion that didn’t leave the reader scratching their head in bewilderment over what either happened or what was going to happen in the future. While it may not have been the greatest short story ever, it certainly did well on its own in the end.


Name of fanfiction: Mender’s Tale
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: Well, what exactly can be said about the third installment to the Seven Hunters trilogy? I would say that the series continues to improve where the previous ones lacked something, even if it wasn’t anything major or such, I am glad to see this rise in quality with the newest installment overall. What we have seen in this story thus far, is how a lowly and frightened fastbiter eventually became not just a healer, savior, but a remarkable character whose pathos certainly feels like what one might expect from such person surviving in the world of the dinosaurs.

Over the course of the narrative, we have seen quite a lot of interesting changes in the plot and developments in the personal lives of the characters themselves. On one hand, it might seem that the plot is moving incredibly slowly right now, but I’d argue that in order to create a fully functional fictional world, one has to take things slow and wager all of the possible events that take place in a way. We have experienced all kinds of emotions and events surrounding this particular part in the trilogy, from simple and yet comical interactions among the pack and their newfound allies, to the rising disputes between numerous factions, be they leaf-eater, sharptooth or something else entirely, which finally has landed us in a middle of a very interesting and what is about to become a very bloody conflict between these different groups and their ideals.

What has intrigued me the most over the course of this story might come as a surprise to some, but I find myself really taken in by the events surrounding Ignis and her two rivals, Wrok and Questor. Albeit I find the former to be far more interesting thus far. Time will tell if Questor will be just as interesting, if not even more fun to see as Wrok currently is. Also, I have to confess one thing about Wrok’s characterization thus far; I really like the way Rhombus is going with him as I find myself actually starting to like the guy more he is on the spotlight. I find the conflict between the hidden runner packs to be a quite realistic one indeed, as the resentment between the packs has apparently always been there and I quite understand why Wrok and his allies would wish to break away from Ignis and choose their own path in life, one not set by Ignis or her subordinates, but one by themselves. I will definitely look forward to the future developments in the story, as they have been nothing but enjoyable so far.


Name of fanfiction: The Pursuit of Endless Day
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: While this particular story was one that I wasn’t initially planning to read, I became aware extremely fast by how much of a fool I would have been had I chosen to stick to my earlier sentiments. Now, this story has been amazing so far, and even if new chapters haven’t been released in a while, it will certainly not cause me to shy away from this story now that I’ve started on it and the incredible journey on Petrie’s part with this dangerous and yet curious custom of the flyers.

Like some people have already expressed, the story began in an easy manner, but the reader quickly becomes aware that something serious is about to happen any second when the narrative progresses further into the unknown beyond. Petrie’s intent to take part in the tradition was a very interesting development. It is known that the flyer in question has always seen the Bright Circle as something to worship, and even if certain individuals (looking at you, Cera) don’t believe that to be a worthy cause to partake, Petrie certainly has proven himself to be quite fearless when the right situation ever arises.

What I’ve really liked about this story thus far, is that we not only get to see the many reactions of Petrie’s closest friends, but the reactions of the more unknown individuals, like the mysterious flyer herd, for example. The story is also filled with unfortunate encounters that Petrie is sadly forced to meet sooner or later; especially the accident with Zagar was quite heartbreaking to witness happen like the way it did. Petrie is certainly going to remember that occurrence for a long time, if not forever. It would be more amazing if we could see the Gang talk about Petrie’s imminent departure in the following chapters as that would be most intriguing to see how exactly it would play out.

DiddyKF1

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2019, 02:42:03 PM »
I'll admit I was kinda waiting for at least one other person to get some votes in, because I didn't want to give off the impression that I was posting mine way too early. :lol

Name of Fanfiction: LBT Hatchling Series
Rating: 9.0/10
Review: This story (well, the completed Swimmer arc, that is) has given us a great picture of Ducky's early days and a glimpse into the social lives of the Swimmers.  I particularly enjoyed the way Ducky was portrayed as such a cute, curious little one, feeling just as adventurous as as she would later in life.  Out of all the main characters, I always find Ducky the easiest to picture in her baby days.  Don't ask me why; I just do.  Her antics really give us a good idea of how she will develop later in her childhood.

It was interesting to see how Sura at first dreaded becoming a mother, but she accepted it warmly, and it's wonderful to see how she warms up to motherhood.  Her interactions with her children show such a great change in her character; one that will define the remainder of her lifetime.

And, of course, we get to see the tension between Sura and Sculra rising as the latter shows clear disgust at the children she thinks probably should have been hers (or a reminder of the fact that she never got the mate she wanted), considering what we've seen in The Swimmer Trials.  It's the only form of dread that this story brings, as we all well know what will happen much later ...

Overall, it was so heartening to get a glimpse at Ducky's first days.  Everything was established beautifully, and the author really knows how to make it a fun read.  All the grammar issues aside, I typically tend to review a story by how effective it is in painting a mental picture in my mind, and this one really gave me a cute one, to say the least. :)petrie


Name of Fanfiction: The Necessary Truth
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: I give this one a very high rating because the author is so effective at going into territory we've rarely explored in fanfiction previously; the pre-Great Valley period of Ruby's life.

Much like the case of Ducky's baby days, we get a fine glimpse into Ruby's pre-Great Valley days, as she learns the hard way about the dangers of the Mysterious Beyond.  Her curiosity so nearly gets the better of her when she gets lost in the middle of a place she's never been to before, and in a way it sorta reminds me of Dory.  The author provides us with some great characteristics about the earlier portion of Ruby's life, something we've rarely explored in fanfiction, and it was a very good read.


Name of Fanfiction: Separate Ways
Rating: 9.0/10
Review: The only thing that keeps me from giving it a 9.5 or a 10 is the fact that this story is still in progress, and to be fair, I prefer to refrain from giving the highest possible rating to an incomplete story.

As a whole, the LBT universe has descended into a state of chaos, and the author's always-so-masterful skills at uncertainty and dread have come in full force all throughout this tragic tale.  Just about everything you could ask for in a Game of Thrones-esque story is in here: treason, murder (even children being murdered in cold blood), vengeance, justice, and so many conspiracies (all blended together so efficiently, even in the most unexpected places), and I'm sure that once we finally reach the end of the road, nothing will ever be the same again.  Much like The Swimmer Trials, a film-length story like Separate Ways meets the critique for being such an epic, powerful story that changes everything we know about the LBT universe, and I could read this over and over again if I wanted to.

This story has honestly felt like watching a young adult-rated Land Before Time TV show, particularly the latter chapters.  The fact that this is still in progress gives us the same excitement as tuning in to watch your favorite epic fantasy show on Sunday night or something.  I give high praise for the author's great effectiveness at writing such tense moments, and I will stay excited until the end of all paths is reached.


Name of Fanfiction: One Fallen, Two Torn Apart
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: This one gave me partial inspiration for "The Hurting of Desire," even though we have different theories on the fate of Petrie's father.  This saddening story had me shaking in front of my computer, and for good reason.

I've had my fair share of exploring Petrie's family history, but this one took it to another level that made it so horrifying that it's hard to imagine how those who survived managed to shake off the many nightmares that plagued them for five years before they made it to the Great Valley.  The horror presented in this tale was very effective (if not, at least, very heartbreaking), and it gives us a very morbid picture of Petrie's early life as he is faced with the losses of his father and several siblings he would never get a chance to know, and that he so nearly became a victim himself.  It's so horrific to imagine a bunch of little children (let alone, infants) being attacked and murdered by terrifying monsters, but this story did it so well that I ended up having disturbing images in my head for several days afterward before it inspired me to write "The Hurting of Desire."

Finally, the building tension between Volant and Pterano only escalated things for the family even further following Petrie's supposed demise, and we got a good idea of how the two siblings became estranged, leading Pterano to commit that atrocious act ...

This story had a great demonstration of the meaning, "Bad to Worse," and I think it was one of the best stories on this forum over the past 12 months!


Name of Fanfiction: The Birth of Something Beautiful
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: For someone who hates romance writing, Sovereign did a fine job at setting his hatred for romance writing aside to give us this nice short story of how the relationship between Littlefoot's parents first came to be.  Many writers here have such weakness for romance stories, but I'm apparently so good at it that I can say this was a very good first try at it! :)petrie ... unless it wasn't his first attempt at a romance story?

Just imagine being in Littlefoot's place and learning of how his parents first fell in love was quite an adventure in of itself, but the way the plot was delivered was so astounding that I probably might have felt the same way Littlefoot did when it was all over.  We see the hardships of Bron's earlier life as he deals with his brother as well as the struggles of trying to win the heart of such a fine, young Longneck girl.  It was really interesting to see how Bron made such a difficult decision much like how his future son would do; leave some loved ones behind in favor of your one true love, or stay with those who have loved you from the moment you were born.  It's never an easy decision, as we saw in LBT X, but I can see how Bron seemed to almost inspire Littlefoot into making the same decision.

This was a fantastic effort by someone who loathes writing romance stories, and I give him credit for what he pulled off here.


Name of Fanfiction: Waves Crashing Upon the Sky
Rating: 8.0/10
Review: When I saw that this was going to be a story with Ducky and Petrie in the spotlight, it caught my attention immediately!  Yes, I'm guilty of character bias, but I try not to make that look too ... open. :duckyhappy :)petrie Heehee!

While it is still quite early on in the story, the premise has been building up at a steady pace.  The author has done a good job doing something rhombus once did: turn some of our favorite characters into something they were never meant to be.  The fact that he did it in his own way by creating something we've never seen in the continuity gives us a great sense of creativity, and even though this stone will undoubtedly lead to so much dread, it will be interesting to see how this effects Ducky and Petrie's lives (for better or worse; although so far, it seems that for Petrie's case it's all been for the worse).

This has been an enjoyable read so far, even though we're just a few chapters in, but I'm sure we'll be in for quite an adventure with our favorite Swimmer and Flyer real soon!


Name of Fanfiction: The Threehorn Way
Rating: 8.5/10
Review: I'm very impressed by how OwlsCantRead gives us an entirely new view on the events of the original movie.  We get to see it all in Cera's POV, and I must say that in a way, it does some justice for how much of a loathsome jerk she was back then.

It becomes quite understandable that Cera has been such a rotten brat to Littlefoot because of her upbringing, being so strictly taught by her prejudiced father about how Threehorns are the best at everything, and that everyone who isn't a Threehorn is a disgraceful inferior, particularly Longnecks.  We even get to see how she struggles with her inner thoughts as she wonders if maybe her father's teachings may have been flawed.  Nevertheless, there's no doubt that she has no respect for Longnecks, as we see her secretly plot to have Littlefoot's new friends abandon him and leave him for dead, much like how we saw in the movie.

I hated Cera in the first movie, but, like I said, this does justice for how much of a lying brat she was.  This gives a clear understanding of how she isn't sure if it's right or wrong, and in the back of her mind, she knows that she isn't quite as wise as Littlefoot is, but is "too proud to admit it."  This has been quite an interesting viewpoint of the first movie, and it'll be interesting to see where future chapters will lead it to.


Name of Fanfiction: The Pursuit of Endless Day
Rating: 9.0/10
Review: As in the case of "Separate Ways," this one has Petrie forced into a journey over something he had no choice over.  Interestingly, for a long time, I had initially believed that Petrie was doing the Pursuit of Endless Day because he was inspired by his mother's beliefs, but I was so shocked to find out that I was completely wrong, and instead he's doing it as punishment for committing one of the most unforgivable crimes: murder (accidental homicide as self-defense).  Rhombus sure did a good job at misleading me, that's for sure! :opetrie

The story has blended flashbacks in with the present-day scenes so well that it's much like a two-sided story; one side being where Petrie is at now with his current situation, and the other side showing us just how he ended up in this situation in the first place.  This is a very nice blending of past and present, and it gives off a nice flow as we discover how and why Petrie is doing this.  The feeling of suspense throughout the flashbacks has given the whole tale a very tense feel, and it's been quite an adventure reading through what forced Petrie into such a dangerous journey.

And I must say that rhombus is just as sinful as Petrie himself, leaving our favorite Flyer performing the Pursuit of Endless Day for over a year! :lol Leaving a story incomplete or going so long between chapters is as great a fanfiction sin as any! :Mo
Suddenly, I've written so many fanfics that I can't possibly list them all! :P


OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2019, 09:37:39 AM »
Name of fanfiction: The Pursuit of Endless Day
Rating: 9.25/10
Review: I once said in my initial review that this story felt like the equivalent of a Swimmer Trials for Petrie, and I will continue to stand by that statement. It all seems so similar at first… a deadly “Day of the Flyers”-esque test for one’s species… which, in essence, is itself the big twist, as profiling the fic by using preconceived notions of what a reader thinks to expect from a story like this is what leads to the unanticipated subversion of expectations about the reason that Petrie has consigned himself to the judgement of the Bright Circle in the first place.

I’ll admit, the initial story felt rather confusing at first. With a slightly older Petrie dealing with his siblings’ constant antics, preparing for the Time of Great Growing through a flight back to the valley alone, his relationship with the gang with all the talk about an accursed Old Way flyer tradition… it all felt very atypical of what Petrie would become in present day — the past scenes instead being more of a set-up and a harbinger of things to come by showing a juxtaposition between the past and present since the back-and-forth format spoils that Petrie is willing to take the Pursuit of Endless Day despite everyone from the gang to his mother to even a one-on-one with Cera telling him following a ‘stupid Sky Ball’ is a bad idea. It does not last long, though, as the final two chapters turned the entire story on its head by showing exactly why he made this decision.

Though in a sense the reveal of why a despondent Petrie is trapped in the predicament that he is could be because of him being an unreliable narrator—as Petrie himself is the one recounting his lamentable tale to the other flyers preparing to undergo the trial—I personally prefer to attribute it to the fact that Petrie deliberately opted to withhold the information until being probed, a wise choice, since he wasn’t sure that the other flyers wouldn’t instantly label him as a murderer despite being pushed to the brink to protect himself in self-defence, though Knacker and the others did no such thing. Still, the weight and guilt I felt coming from Petrie during the valley meeting was palpable… because in such a situation, in the frenzy of battle when a bully pushes his suppressed victim too far, who’s really wrong or right? As someone who’d been bullied in the past, such an action resonated with me on an emotional level.

Overall, I really love this story! Over the past year, fics starring Petrie have been some of the most invigorating to read, and this is no exception. To wrap up, the reason I’m ranking it a 9.25 (I really wanted to give it a 9.5 or 10 solely because of the past scenes building up to an intense atmosphere alone) despite the incredible set-up made through the effective use and contrast of expectations through flashback scenes and the overall haunting atmosphere that permeates throughout the looming trials ahead as Petrie prepares to let the Bright Circle decide his fate over an incident made in jest is because… well, much like the Swimmer Trials (no offense :p) the eponymous Pursuit of Endless Day hasn’t begun yet.

Perhaps part of why I’m so apprehensive about this fic is that knowing Rhombus, I don’t know if he’ll pull another TSH and leave Petrie’s fate to another coin toss. After all the set-up, I’m too invested in Petrie’s desire to cleanse his sin over Zagar’s murder to let such a unfortunate fate befall him… but who am I kidding? I don’t control Petrie, I can’t judge Petrie… only Rhombus as author, acting in the zealous will of the Bright Circle, can impartially impart his judgement on our favorite flyer after a week of the Pursuit of Endless Day. ;)
This quaint creature soars when the Night Circle is poised at the highest point of the twilight sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer. :P



OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2019, 10:32:08 AM »
I would say it's a coincidence that this happened to end up being conveniently posted on Diddy's Star Day... but it actually is, lol. I had these two reviews mostly ready, so just a tad bit of garnishing and they were ready to serve.

Name of fanfiction: Is it Right?
Rating: 7/10
Review: A bit more of a traditional fic this time. It is a rather interesting look that expands and touches upon the original script of the film, highlighting and stressing the extraordinary measures that the gang had taken to survive Sharptooth and make their way to the Great Valley.

Something that admittedly bugged me on a reread was that this story seemed to be paced rather rapidly in the first half, with the dialogue happening as speedily as Ruby making a sprint. The structure of it felt more rigid and script-like than normal, with scenes like Cera’s apology to Littlefoot or the Swim of Silence Judy callback taking place and immediately being resolved within the span of a few paragraphs before the next topic is brought up. It can be seen best when Littlefoot says he can’t keep their friendship secret forever and in the very next paragraph Petrie points out that they’re already here. Please don’t take it the wrong way, because those scenes are still neat and provide a nice wrap-up to the film that we didn’t get due to the original script cutting much of the ending out, it’s just that it felt as though events were racing when I was reading this story, with little time to digest the events of the epilogue as it raced from dialogue to dialogue, which is only an issue because this is meant to be an epilogue and the pacing tends to be slower there to allow for a satisfying conclusion to the characters we know and love.

But on things I liked, I enjoyed the latter half of the story significantly more, when it comes to the reconciliation with their parents. Cera standing up to her father, the gang detailing their adventure… those are scenes that really show the vigor of the gang’s friendship, more so than their words. I especially liked the added emphasis over the “there has never been a herd like this before” aspect of the gang’s argument for being friends, as well as the twist (to the gang) reveal that the adults had to join up regardless of their species to journey to the valley themselves.

Overall, a neat introspective and epilogue that closes out the gang’s first adventure, the one which forged their fiery bond of friendship that persists throughout the entire series.


Name of fanfiction: The Hurting of Desire
Rating: 8.75/10
Review: Everyone who reviewed this story talked about the similarities in the looking glass/ice/mirror scene to Harry Potter, while poor ol’ me is looking around confused since I’m not too well-versed with that series… which says quite a fair bit about me, doesn’t it?

If there was one misstep I felt was made, it was the sleep story in the middle seemed to drag on for a bit too long. While it is an impactful and vivid nightmare which led to Petrie’s siblings ganging up on him, and captured the flyer’s growing despair while he lost everyone he did care about, I personally felt as though it could have been trimmed down slightly since the point of the scene was the escalate the plot, and just the Gang and Mama Flyer would be enough to drive Petrie mad with grief.

That said, this story excels in showing us a prime example of a dysfunctional family which seems cohesive at first, but when probed closely the cracks begin to show. The callback to Petrie’s throwaway line about wanting a new family in XII is actually very relevant here… in Diddy’s continuity, Petrie's oldest sibling is downright malicious. Highlighted extremely well—and done better than its later successor Gone Too Far due to it being used in a more subtle and emotionally tenuous manner here—is the chasm-like divide between Petrie and his siblings. Though in this story Petrie’s siblings are nameless and not the identifiable group of four in later works—Donnie, Pearlwing, Terra, and Skybeak—just for this story I find that them being unnamed actually works to the narrative’s favor, as it enunciates just how detached Petrie is from those who are of the same flesh and blood as he is. If we as readers are supposed to believe them as faceless and interchangeable, then what does that say about Petrie?

But what struck me most poignantly about this tale was the heart-to-heart talk between Mama Flyer and Petrie. It is one of those softer, down-to-earth scenes that really sell the bond between a mother and her child when said child is in a state of despair and depression. To show familial support when one feels down is important, as shown by the fact that Petrie’s siblings are too rambunctious or apathetic to realize that their actions have a lasting effect on their brother. Because, in truth… life isn’t all about what-could-have-beens and a reflection of a perfect world, unlike what the reflective ice seems to imply to its viewing audience. Perfection can’t be attained, and Mama Flyer confessing to Petrie that he shouldn’t self-blame himself because of his personality and disorder… that scene was done very well.

It is very much a quintessential case study of what a mother or parental figure would say when confronted with their confused child, and for that scene alone, despite some minor issues I have, I have to raise my rating from an 8.5 to 8.75 for this story. It isn’t a heart-wrenching fic per-se in the typical way, but the showings of maternal love is a tear jerker in its own right.
This quaint creature soars when the Night Circle is poised at the highest point of the twilight sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer. :P



OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2019, 12:19:40 PM »
I was gonna upload all four of Anagnos' at once, but I have a test up Monday so I'll probably just upload the one I've vetted and completed. Will subsequently post the rest accordingly as the deadline closes in.

Name of fanfiction: The Silent Storm
Rating: 7/10
Review: Wintery Cold Time stories often have a distinct frigid atmosphere to them, and that is something this fic captures as well, with the main climax of the fic taking place in a blizzard, after all. I like how the story was interwoven with The Big Freeze, detailing the trek made by Tippy’s spiketail herd to the valley with Screech and Thud’s mutual hunt of the herd leader Angar. This might be the most developed and cohesive I’ve seen Tippy’s herd in recent memory, and the ensuing chase and cold snap really adds weight to the spiketails’ appearance when they do make it to the valley, as it was almost Tippy’s father who fell victim to the fastbiters’ cunning wit.

Though it is another hunting fic where a predator attempts to nab their prey, The main gripe I have is that the chase sequence that has been built up over the first half ends very swift and abruptly — we didn’t really get much from Halmar’s POV, or Screech and Thud, for that matter, as it was all a description of what happened and what actions they did without any thoughts. I do like the fact that they use the snowy storm as subterfuge as their strategy, though.

But what sells this story to me is the banter and dynamic between the two fastbiters, Screech and Thud. The fast biters also have the neat effect of tying the story in to the larger Red Claw myth arc that would culminate in the TV series… basically making it in a way canon-compliant and building up the cohesiveness of the LBT world. It was certainly written in a way where I could see this happening to the spiketail herd as a LBT8-esque prequel.

Other than that, I’ve pretty much said my piece with this. There are some grammatical errors, paragraph break issues, and clunky structure that does break a reader’s immersion, especially in the hunting scene near the end which really drags the overall rating down a bit considering how well it started and would conclude afterwards. I would say that it generally did succeed in what it attempted to achieve, which is building on the relationship between the fastbiters with some nice dialogues and buildup, and it’s a good first attempt at really trying a canon-compliant LBT story from a new author making their debut. :)
This quaint creature soars when the Night Circle is poised at the highest point of the twilight sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer. :P



OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2019, 11:53:05 AM »
Name of fanfiction: The Necessary Truth
Rating: 7.5/10
Review: Ah, now there’s the fastrunner story. After the deluge of them that I’ve sat through last year, I was actually surprised that there weren’t as many fics focused on Ruby and her family this year.

The first thing that really caught my eye is Ruby’s behavior. Showing her helplessly crying out for her parents in the beginning implicitly highlights in a subtle manner that this is a younger Ruby without saying it out loud, and I like that it is not explicitly said but rather left for the reader to draw that conclusion out. Nevertheless, it is apparent that this is a far cry from the calmer and more mature Ruby who leads the gang with Littlefoot in the TV series.

I’m a bit mixed overall for this fic. One personal critique is that there is a notably excessive use of commas in some instances and a few run-on sentences in this story. Anagnos is still working on his style, and that can be seen here. Other than that, the sharptooth actually didn’t manage to accomplish a whole lot and the fact that he’s scared off by meteors instead of Ruby’s wit—though understandable due to her age—made her final escape from her hiding spot feel a little empty.

Detras and Pearl’s concern and the reunion scene was rather touching, though. I did like the tie-in in the end with them lecturing her to be more cautious and less reckless, and I can see this leading to the more calm and thoughtful Ruby. Unfortunately I’ve just never been used to fics featuring Ruby and her family, so this is as objective of a review as I can give to this offering.
This quaint creature soars when the Night Circle is poised at the highest point of the twilight sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer. :P



Ducky123

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2019, 08:47:32 AM »
Y'all can vote for all my stories now, I won't be able to get another chapter up, sadly. Darn writer's block and after-work exhaustion.

That being said, this will also be my voting masterpost. Today and tomorrow I will gradually add my reviews. I will only give scores at the end though when I have enough stories to compare to.

Name of fanfiction: LBT hatchling series
9/10

Review: although only Ducky's part has been written so far, it's already clear, that this is a great idea for a series of shorter, super cute and fluffy slice-of-life-esque stories featuring the first days of the gang we love so much. Ducky's part has been intertwined with TLD's TST universe which, I think, has provided an extra boost to Ducky's part of the tale. The fluffy parts may have priority but interesting OCs like Elliot becoming an honorary sibling and Sculra (From TST) being, well, Sculra :P and, particularly worth of a mention, Sura's struggle with motherhood and her development as a character, although presented only in a retelling of events, are really great additions that turn a story that's meant to be cute and adorable into a story with some depth too. Great story, TLD, keep it up!


Name of fanfiction: A Grief Observed
8.5/10

Review: A Grief Observed is a testament to the author's great ability to write with top-notch writing and dialogue, however I've had one big flaw with the story that keeps this story from being exceptional.

Shorty has a beautiful home, silly friends and a loving mother, however all of that changes in a blink when natural disaster strikes. Through the story we learn about Shorty's struggles and how he meets the little longnecks and later Bron. Meeting both seems to have a great impact on Shorty after just losing his mother and he ultimately stays with Bron and his growing herd.

What truly impressed me is how taking a slightly different approach can lead to an entirely different perspective on a character's backstory. SDP takes on the challenge to reveal Shorty's unknown past as well but look how different it is and yet I feel both versions of his past are very good explanations for the stuff the movies failed to cover and I commend you for creating a story about Shorty I can truly acknowledge as a great explanation of his past  :exactly

The only thing that bothers me is the way the death of his mother has been written. It is obvious that her death wasn't meant to be the focus of the story but that doesn't excuse a poor death scene and floppy writing of the natural disaster that lead to the demise in the first place. Details can be read in my review on the story thread itself  :yes

Overall it hardly detracts from the fact that Anagnos is a skilled writer and the story speaks volumes about his ability. Good job man  :^^spike

Name of fanfiction: One fallen, two apart


Review: this story is an excellent tale about Petrie's family and Pterano during the time of the Great drought. It stays very true to the setting of the original movie and depicts those dark times frighteningly well, written with much expertise just like Sovereign is known for :)

My only concern I had with the story was that the emotional scenes were overshadowed by other events and thus didn't get a chance to have a pronounced impact on the reader. But that hardly detracts from the fact that the story is well written and trying to explain and cover a very big void in LBT's storyline :)

Name of fanfiction: the birth of something beautiful
9/10

Review: the birth of something beautiful is a beautiful story indeed, telling about the meeting between Littlefoot's parents and what obstacles they had to overcome in order to find each other's love. Even though claiming to be terrible at writing romance, I think that, at least for this particular story, that doesn't quite apply. The love triangle between Bron, his brother and Tranquil was well executed and beautifully resolved by showing the difference between desiring a female and actually trying to understand them on an emotional level. Bron tried to understand Tranquil and supported her after the hardships of past times surfaced once more. A very great story overall with hardly a thing to criticize :)

Name of fanfiction: Boundless Curiosity
9.5/10

Review: This story was truly a masterpiece through and through. Not only did it manage to achieve the same lovable atmosphere that makes the Seven Hunters Saga the best of all LBT universes but it also developed the characters excellently in a very entertaining manner and yet provides a good lesson at the end. Owls unique choice of words and excellent writing style made this an even greater experience and I would gladly read more about the new gang in the valley that formed after the Gang's transition to sharpteeth. They're a lot of fun, very different and diverse and you captured everyone's personality spot-on, particularly the two rainbowfaces Datum and Axiom who are arguably quite a bit weird  :lol
You can be really proud of the story Owls  :^^spike

Name of fanfiction: The hurting of Desire
8.5/10

Review: This is a great story about Petrie struggling with harassment and bullying within his family up to the point where he is about to break under the prolonged pressure and his feelings of uncertainty, hatred and low self-esteem. It was certainly a very emotional ride with really scary and well written dream sequences and an excellent description of what bullying can do to a person. Diddy is known for writing a lot of fluffy scenes and the story also has a lot of these at the end, dragging the ending a little too long but otherwise I have no complaints and a lot of praise for this story   :exactly

(more to come)

Rhombus: Edited by me to add in Ducky's PMed ratings
« Last Edit: December 03, 2019, 07:43:12 AM by rhombus »
Rhett is M'lord

(lost at Truth or Dare)

Anagnos

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2019, 08:50:12 AM »
And here is my last one. I admit, it's been tiresome but also rewarding to write these. Although next year I probably will not review every single one that I can, that will be a problem for next year. :)


Name of fanfiction: Return to the Land of Mists
Rating: 7/10
Review: While the initial chapters were a bit clumsy in terms of dialogue and narrative, the following chapters have picked up the best parts of the story so far, and even if we are only at the start, it is looking quite promising thus far. Probably my main points of critique would be about the apparent change in Rhett’s personality, as I was under the impression that after the TV series episode he was on friendly terms with the Gang, but this fanfic does an entire translation with that plot line, which while isn’t a bad thing altogether, is certainly somewhat perplexing. Albeit the gang are older in this, it’s also peculiar to see them act so… hot-headed, but under the circumstances I believe that can be excused.

Indeed, seeing this part of Rhett’s personality has been somewhat interesting lately, and that is one of the things Ducky123 has managed to sell perfectly. And while most of the chapters may have come across as uneventful, the duel and its aftermath was done remarkably well in terms of offering enough action while also making room for brief periods of well controlled ambiance. The feeling of utter professionalism shined in this portion the most, and that is not an easy task altogether. I was also very much amused by some parts of the dialogue in this sequence, and it managed to implement out of the ordinary mood for the story.

What I’ve liked about the few previous chapters was sort of said earlier. Even if the pace of the story is going slowly again, I do think that is a good plan for now as action tends to wear out after a while if done repeatedly. The other thing I enjoyed was the extend of Littlefoot’s injuries in one chapter brought to a clearer light, and the descriptions for that worked relatively well. The Gang’s The reactions of Littlefoot’s grandparents were pretty much expected to be quite violent and unforgiving in the same chapter, and didn’t overly disappoint me.

It was rather bizarre how unchallengingly the encounter between the Old One and Littlefoot’s Grandparents moved forward as I anticipated more drama to unfold, but that is not a critique but rather a viewpoint interpreted erroneously by me. And while the accusations against Rhett may be interpreted as legitimate in the recent valley meeting, in the case that it is revealed that it was all founded on lies and deceit, would make the Valley look very much unfavorable in the eyes of the herd, which in turn may lead to further turmoil as it is pretty clear that neither side is quite ready to accept being lied to by their own members, and therefore, I feel like this is definitely one of the focal points that will drive the story further.

I realize I might occasionally come off as needlessly nitpicky in my reviews, but I like to point out any issues I see within a story to the best of my ability. While the overall flow of the story can feel rather forced to the reader at times, I have a feeling that the quality will turn for the better once we really get the show on the road, as they say. In my most recent reviews, I’ve talked about the major issues the story has, but I like to remind people that I will not abandon the story, but right now it isn’t looking too good in retrospect of anterior installments. Nevertheless, I will continue to follow the story, but I really hope that a functional solution can be presented in order to progress the overall quality of the story. I have high hopes that Ducky123 will manage to do just that, but we readers have to remain patient as good things are worth waiting for.

OwlsCantRead

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2019, 12:32:51 PM »
Wrapping up my reviews for Anagno's stories. :^^spike

Name of fanfiction: A Grief Observed
Rating: 10/10
Review: Confession time — I'm not as well-versed and acclimatized to Shorty as a character compared to many of the other dinosaurs in the series as I am not really familiar with The Great Longneck Migration. Nevertheless, Anagnos here has done a splendid job in trying to sell something which the film has relegated to only a passing mention: Shorty’s past.

Another confession… 25,000 words is a whopper of a story! The beginning of the story is very slice-of-life, but it really sets up the stage for things to come. While I would say that it’s counterintuitive to build up so many characters in Shorty’s original herd only to have them all perish once the opening concludes, I will admit that there is some jarringness to having named characters being eradicated, just like that, instead of pure nameless nobodies. Really makes you feel for them. The stark contrast between the innocuous opening and Shorty’s ordinary life being ripped from him in the aftermath of a natural disaster—the volcanic eruption—really hits home as a result. The bad sleep story he suffered through after it really hits home that everything and everyone he knew and loved is gone.

It is here that we see one of Shorty’s shortfalls — his insistence on growing up and taking on the world despite his weaknesses. Shorty emulates his mother in trying to be a leader to Browntail and co., only to have the 'one day you will learn to do this yourself' line said by his mother to be thrown back at him by fate itself. in an ironic echo. The sense of responsibility that Shorty undertakes upon his back is massive, made more apparent when Browntail and Bron call him out for his sweet-and-sour, yet caring nature overall. His reluctance to leave the young longnecks despite being irritated by them speak volumes about him, even if Shorty has to try and justify to himself on exactly why he didn't leave them to end up being as alone as him in-story. That insistence on attachment is seen in being a bit bitter at letting the other longnecks go and does tie in to his clinginess to Bron in LBT X, so props for that.

Yeah… I really can’t put how I feel about this story in words. One really has to read it for themselves. Shorty’s character is challenged and really put on display to its fullest extent here as it shifts from being a mama’s boy to someone who had to throw away his childhood way too fast. This really is a Shorty character study, if I had to sum up this story in a concise manner. Despite it dragging a bit longer than I’d have liked for a one-shot, I have to give this story a rare perfect score. It really undercuts the true nature of an orphan like Shorty adapting to the cruel hand fate has dealt him, trying to overcome the odds with Browntail and co., before assimilating in Bron’s herd and left still yearning.


Name of fanfiction: Light Among the Darkness
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: This is actually a really unexpected offering! I’ve never been good at exploring all-OC stories, but the concept of dark threehorn traditions as told in this tale drew me in like a flyer to the Bright Circle right away. I will say that the very beginning with Vilar’s family was rather slow-paced, since I was almost certain from the moment that Vilar said that he hates the tradition and hopes that he’s not the chosen one meant that in true Hunger Games Murphy’s Law fashion, poor hesitant kid will be the chosen threehorn to partake in the sacred duel.

Things begin to pick up with the arrival of Vilar’s friends, which really shows the cohesiveness of the herd. Normally most authors would write just enough key characters to ensure a story works, but the minor characters and their antics really help to sell the herd as an actual one. The scene thereafter and the despair when Vilar is opted to be Craster’s opponent thus felt really vivid and terrifying as a result. Him consoling and confiding in his parents and friends work really well to show us that Vilar is a living threehorn, despite being nothing more than an OC character we can hardly relate to before this point. It is this sort of “inciting incident” moments that really sells an author’s ability to hook and connect an audience to a character whom we’ve had no relation to prior, and it goes double for original characters. The moment with his friends and family talk to him before and in the middle of the fight reminds me of a coach giving a boxer their pep talk during a break, and I find myself really feeling for Vilar and his terrible situation — the odds are against him, and it is likely that he would not survive. But of course, that’s to Vilar’s advantage as the audience loves to root for the underdog. :P

Now I’m not sure if it was intended, but the way the battle between the two threehorns was structured—a duel for glory where only one can leave alive, with the elders and crowd overseeing the spectacle—it made the overall atmosphere feel like a gladiator match to the death in a coliseum, and there’s nothing much to add about the duel itself other than the choreography of the fight is smooth and does its job. My one complaint is that Craster’s change of heart could have been foreshadowed — revealing that he’d propped up his arrogance to hide his inadequacy in the eyes of the elders might be a startling revelation to the reader, but it could have been a great twist had it been properly set up during the fight instead of seemingly coming out of nowhere, as it seems like Craster was willing to kill Vilar all throughout up till the end in spite of his personal hatred for the tradition.

And thus, we are left with a tale that concludes satisfyingly in a bittersweet manner, but has the potential to evolve in future as Grimlock’s grip on the herd still lays strong. All in all, besides a slightly weak beginning and end, this was a great plunge into the lives of a society born and bred to duel each other for their own amusement, and Anagnos did a great job at fleshing out Vilar’s greatest victory as we look into the eyes of a threehorn in a brutal tale of his compassion and survival.
This quaint creature soars when the Night Circle is poised at the highest point of the twilight sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer. :P



rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2019, 03:01:08 PM »
As is my custom, I have waited until the last conceivable moment to post my reviews.  :p  For that reason I will be posting my reviews on an author-by-author basis as the day winds down.  First up is The Lone Dragon and his wonderful LBT Hatchling series.

Name of Fanfiction: LBT Hatchling Series
Link to Fanfiction of GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15236.0
Author: The Lone Dragon
Rating: 8.5/10

Much to my embarrassment, this story had passed me by until this year’s fanfic voting period came up. It is always nice to see a three-year old story resume, especially when one has missed the story the first time. :p

What really struck me while reading the two chapters was the noticeable improvement in quality the second chapter.  The general flow of the chapter and the interactions between the characters all created a believable and relatable narrative.  Though only Ducky’s story has been written thus far, this story has shown the suitability of writing shorter stories concerning the first days of the dinosaurs we all know and love. The fact that Ducky’s portion of the story is intertwined nicely with The Swimmer Trials continuity adds an additional layer of intrigue to the entire affair.  When this is added to the believable struggles of Sura with motherhood (which creates an interesting contrast with her perspective later on) and, of course, the tensions that come from Sculra, it creates an interesting combination of implied growth and foreboding that makes one want to jump into the TST narrative again.

Though only two chapters have been written thus far, I do look forward to seeing what future installments bring to this promising series. :)


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

Sovereign

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2019, 03:19:23 PM »
And here are the last two reviews for Ducky's stories. :)littlefoot

Name of Fanfiction: Shorty’s Dark Past
Rating: 8/10
Review: It has mostly been a good experience to experience this story from the start and you’ve certainly improved it in nearly all areas from your original story. Especially Shorty and Littlefoot’s parts are now much more interesting than before and you’ve laid out a solid foundation for what is to come. Many things in this tale show that you have certainly improved as a writer lately but there are certain things I dislike here, namely the characterizations.

Indeed, Shorty and Bron’s relationship is shown pretty well here and their journey holds more emotional charge to it than before. The dialogue is much improved as well so that’s one major argument for this remake’s existence. As for Littlefoot, you’ve replicated the movie scenes well and you’ve incorporated them very well into the new parts, expanding the film’s plot a lot. In that area, you’ve done well.

As for my problems with tis story, I’m sure you already guess them. I absolutely hate Ali in this story and I don’t think that was your aim here. Not only does she darken my day but again, I’m not too satisfied with your characterization of her entire herd but we’ve gone through this before. Yet, my opinion hasn’t changed and because of those things, my rating to this story suffers a bit. Also, the way you’ve postponed continuing Littlefoot’s story due to a writer’s block in that area is not really professional and hurts the story’s pacing.

Overall, I still like this story, though. The coming events are certainly intriguing and it’ll be nice to see the upcoming parts of the fic from a new, improved perspective. I just hope that especially Ali will get more bearable as I don’t remember this kind of distaste towards her reading your old version. In any case, well done thus far.

Name of Fanfiction: Return to the Land of Mists
Rating: 7/10
Review: This story is a bit weird in my view for a few reasons. While the fic offers intense moments and good potential, I do have a few issues with it that I’ve voiced in the past. I’ll mention those later but first, this fic seems to be heading in the right decision. The last few chapters have been an improvement over the older ones but many challenges remain to be overcome for this story to escape its few awkward premises.

The entire storyline around Rhett’s assault as been interesting as it has not only given us a look into the struggle between Littlefoot and Rhett but it has also drawn the attention of the rest of the Valley. The accusations against him are based on a lie which offers many good opportunities for drama in the future. This has given the fic bit of a boost lately and it gives me hope that many of the problems present in this fic may yet be solved.

That being said, in some places this story feels like it is turning many characters upside down just to make them fit into the plot. I know it is a part of your headcanon but again, Rhett, Old One and her herd do not act the way I’d see them acting and Littlefoot’s sudden willingness to fight Rhett in the duel made little sense to me. Sadly, these are some issues I can’t help but feel will be impossible to solve even in the future which isn’t optimal, so to say.

That being said, I’m still interested in what’s to come but in my view, this story hasn’t developed naturally at all and some things seem to happen for the sake of the plot. I do hope
these issues will get smaller as this story progresses and you’ve certainly done good things here as well. Hopefully my comments don’t sound too discouraging and they certainly won’t be a surprise to you. But overall, you’ve done decent job with some issues that should be resolved for this tale to truly make a great impression.



rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2019, 03:23:02 PM »
And now it is Ducky's turn, yep, yep, yep!

Name of fanfiction: Shorty's Dark Past 2.0
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16123.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: 8.5/10

The continuation of Shorty’s Dark Past this year has led to many interesting developments, both in terms of characterization and in terms of plot developments.  In this year we have been greeted with Ali’s disagreements with the Old One and her mother, Littlefoot deciding to go on the instinctual journey that is common for his kind (and Cera’s biting commentary on that), and Bron’s herd making the same decision.  But those plot developments are not the real draw of a story like this.  For in this story, at least for me, it is the character interactions and what they say about those characters personally that draws me in.

Shorty’s character, for one thing, is much more well-developed from the last version of this story.  In this tale we could see his initial introduction to Bron and the relationship that he has developed with him and the herd.  We can see how Bron’s ability to “go with the flow” has not only allowed him to deal with a heterogeneous herd, but also a somewhat temperamental Shorty.  At the same time we can see how Shorty has grown attached to his surrogate father figure, which will make the tensions that will come later with Littlefoot’s arrival all the more understandable.

The contrasts between the longneck herds also fascinated me.  The democratic nature of Bron’s herd is understandable considering the nature of its origin.  Though Bron seems to take command when danger is afoot, he allows for voting and consideration of the desires of his herd before making major decisions.  Thus is in stark contrast to the Old One’s more ossified rule.  This all comes to light in the latest chapter where Bron expertly shows up the intransigent leader, showing a very cautious and ruthless side to go along with his calm and agreeable demeanor.  He will need those leadership abilities in the chapters to come, I am sure.

There is much that I could talk about here, but I will leave that to the reviews of the individual chapters.  For now I would simply like to say that I like the direction this story is going.  It is presenting several characters that we know from the series in a much more detailed manner, while at the same time staying true to their canon personalities.  At the same time the story is presenting their reunion in a much more epic fashion than in the tenth film, allowing for a plot that can be much broader than what was presented to us in the source material. 


Name of fanfiction: More than a blinky light
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16270.0
Author(s): Ducky123
Rating: 9.0/10

This short story did much to elaborate on Littlefoot’s struggles with the loss of his mother, while at the same time connecting them with an OC from the Shorty’s Dark Past Continuity, Cho.  In stories such as this it can be best to have an anchor, that allows characters of diverse viewpoints to find a common connection.  In this story that is provided by the nighttime sky.  Littlefoot sees the night stars as a sign that he is not alone, whereas Cho sees the same and fails to initially make that connection.

The resulting exchange between the two dinosaurs, showing both Cho's skepticism intermixed with her need for hope, is quite well done.  Especially when Cho's own emotional turmoil finally forces Little foot to drop his emotional barriers as well. The result is a short story that not only shows Littlefoot's perspective on his mother's passing, but also Cho's gradual adapting to the dark memories and turmoil that threaten to drag her down.

All in all, this story shows a scene that would not feel out of place in the SDP continuity.  As such, I quite look forward to seeing when this is used in the Shorty's Dark Past narrative and to see what comes next. :)


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2019, 03:56:27 PM »
The fanfiction awards have presented somewhat of an issue for those of us who have already reviewed all of an author’s works previously.  Namely, what does one say when one has already said one’s thoughts on a one-shot story?  For this reason rather than merely repeating myself, I would like to address how Anagnos’s stories have evolved and shown his growth over the last year.  Then I will post my reviews as they were originally given for each of the stories.

Over the last year I have been quite impressed about how your stories have created interesting character studies while at the same time presenting an engaging plot.  Whether we are examining Shorty’s backstory in “A Grief Observed”, a less responsible Ruby learning a valuable lesson in “The Necessary Truth”, Vilar dealing with his worst fears being realized in “Light Among the Darkness”, or  Screech and Thud’s relationship in “The Silent Storm”, a hallmark of all of these studies is a detailed perspective of each character’s thought process and emotions as they confront what fate has given them.  All the while, the character interactions are presented in a believable manner, and, along with the pacing of plot developments, it creates a steady flow that makes each story an enthralling read that does not drag at any point. 

This tendency for engaging and emotional narratives is best seen, in my opinion, in the “Light Among the Darkness”.  In this story we are presented with a side that we do not often see in fanfiction – the threehorn perspective from within a herd.  As Vilar is confronted with his mortality and faced with a literal do-or-die situation, we as readers must really feel for this character and his hopeless situation.  The fact that you managed to humanize both the protagonist and the antagonist of this story, showing their forced battle and blind traditionalism as the real adversary, is a hallmark of an excellent author.

With all of that in mind, I do eagerly look forward to your stories in the coming year.  :)


Name of fanfiction: A Grief Observed
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16485.0
Author: Anagnos
Rating: 9.0/10

This was quite a lovely take on Shorty's backstory and how he eventually came to join Bron's journey.  From the initial scenes with Shorty interacting with his friends in a herd environment I was under the impression that we were viewing his antics within Bron's herd itself, but then the appearance of his mother greatly shifted that perspective and let several things sink in at once: Shorty already had a herd he called home before everything else happened; and... we were about to see how he lost it all. 

Quote
"He was longing for a place that was no more, longing for a person that didn't exist anymore. What once was is no more. Alone in the vanishing mist, he begun to cry. The powerful longing strengthened, trapping him further in its presence. Always would he witness the same thing over and over again. To feel that sense of belonging and safety, only to be fooled by the more sinister powers lurking behind them. No way out of this hell. No way to ease it."

What followed did not disappoint as we got to see his own reluctance to leave his mother, the terrible fate of his mother and (presumably) the rest of the herd, and Shorty's own internal struggles with his loss.  His interactions with the children, and their incredibly annoying antics (which were amusing to see  :p ) were also covered nicely as he had to struggle to maintain his patience against the joint struggles of his own despair and trying to handle younglings. 

Quote
"Shorty started to seriously regret his earlier decision to take the small longnecks with him when they wouldn't stop pestering him with all kinds of weird questions about everything they saw or heard unfold before them. Not only that, but they wouldn't cease their childish but annoying behavior that was soon starting to make him consider abandoning them right then and there, but something stopped him from making such a rash decision on a whim.  Therefore, he tried to do the one thing he had seen countless adults do while he was with his now probably deceased herd, the one thing most likely all parents had to resort to when an unruly child simply wouldn't listen to their parents orders anymore and all other available options had been already used to try and control them.  To ignore it all like it wasn't even happening around him. Despite thinking in his mind that would make the children lose interest in him and to shift it to something else entirely and stop them from bothering him while making his day even more miserable than it already was, it was not exactly working as he had planned.  Perhaps the worst of it all was that they could barely control their volume at all, which would only attract unwanted attention from undesirable people, like sharpteeth, for example. Even if it seemed like there were none in sight, Shorty knew better than to succumb to such foolish actions of letting your guard down while in an unknown land you had no knowledge about whatsoever. Such action would make him more of a target to any potential predators, should they choose to track him and his companions."

This created a nice sense of similarity once Bron showed up and, understandably, was balancing his own sense of loss (Littlefoot and his mate) with his own sense of responsibility for the younglings.  As such this story is an excellent primer to the relationship between those two and it presents a very plausible backstory for Shorty.

In terms of emotional impact and character building this is easily one of your strongest works.  The faults that I identified were minor compared to the strengths, and the story was an enjoyable read that lived up to the promise of the prompt.  Thank you very much for sharing it with us.  :)


Name of fanfiction: The Necessary Truth
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16374.0
Author: Anagnos
Rating: 8.5/10

This was quite a lovely tale which presents a time when Ruby lacked the experience and wisdom that she possessed in the television series and fourteenth film.

As the story develops we are presented with a trait that seems innate in Ruby (curiosity) but without the tempering that comes from the learned virtues of caution and reflective thought. This leads her into quite an adventure that very nearly resulted in her premature end. At the same time we are presented with the anguish and fear of her parents as they struggle to find their daughter before the worst can happen. The happy ending is nicely intertwined with a perspective into fastrunner parenting as Detras uses Ruby's error as a teaching moment as opposed to an excuse to punish. This in itself shows wisdom from the elder fastrunners and hints at how Ruby gained her wisdom in the series - even though "the hardest lessons are those you teach yourself" Ruby had two good teachers to teach the other lessons.

I like how you have utilized this month's prompt for your story. You have shown us a side of Ruby that has seldom been explored in fanfiction and used it to allow us to explore the parental relationship of the fastrunners as well as Ruby's growing sense of responsibility. This was a wonderful response to June's prompt and I look forward to your future works. :)


Name of fanfiction: Light Among the Darkness
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16352.0
Author: Anagnos
Rating: 9.5/10

This was an incredibly interesting and dark take on a kind of tradition in threehorn society that has analogues in periods of human history.  From those cultures that would periodically select a certain number for human sacrifices, to those who would enslave a portion for gladiatorial combat, the idea of selecting a certain portion of the population for death is one that is found again and again in the historical record.  In the case of this herd it seems likely to me that such a tradition is useful in limited population control and in ensuring a high level of preparedness and aggression in the youth.  As everyone must be prepared to fight to the death no one can be complacent, even if a great majority may not be selected for generations at a time.  What makes this tradition so especially dark then is its plausibility.

As for the characterization of each participant in the duel, I think you have capture both of their personalities quite well.  We see Vilar’s trepidation as his worst fears are realized and, like a person with a terminal illness, he is forced to confront his own mortality at a young age. The resulting reactions from him and his friends and family balances threehorn stoicism with genuine fear and despair.  Craster’s initial display of his ruthless personality matches what a threehorn in such a society would probably have to maintain as an outlook in order to survive and thrive. Though I found the concluding confession of Craster to be perhaps a bit drawn out, I do think it was a nice touch.  The admission that the adversary actually did fear what was coming humanized him and showed what this tradition had reduced them to.  It had reduced them to aggressive killing-machines to the detriment of everything else.

I must say that this was a great story that subverted my expectations, but in a good way.  In it we have seen the horror of traditionalism gone mad and the destruction that it brings to not only those directly affected by it, but also to those who must live in fear of its effects.  And, despite the story being seen from the perspective of the victor, we do get to see the horrors of dueling.  In fiction we often get a superficial perspective of duels where the good guys always win, which may appeal to the "Just World Fallacy" but does not hold water in reality. By showing two innocents engaged in this slaughter against their will you have shown the true barbarity of the activity and you should be commended for that.

This was an excellent use of this month's prompt that took the concept into a direction that really surprised me. I quite enjoyed this tale and look forward to your future stories.  :)


Name of fanfiction: The Silent Storm
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16332.0
Author: Anagnos
Rating: 7.0/10

This was a very unique look into a dynamic that often gets overlooked in fanfiction, the dynamic between Screech and Thud's relationship while in Redclaw's pack. When explored in fanfiction it often is in the context of a larger narrative, whereas in this tale we got a closer look at their interactions, and the unique combination of mutualism and domination by Redclaw that characterizes their pack.

Though the story itself was devoid of major plot shifts and followed a clear narrative, it still held my interest and developed quite organically.  Both the desperation of the fastbiters and the concerns of the spiketail's were captured effectively.

Overall this was quite an enjoyable read that covered a concept that is underutilized in LBT fanfics.  Despite a few minor issues, it held my interest and was an excellent contribution to the prompt challenge.


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2019, 08:08:54 PM »
Name of fanfiction: Separate Ways
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=15514.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Rating: 9.5/10

As I said in my comments from last year’s voting, Separate Ways is one of those stories that defies a concise summary.  It contains both tragedy and hope; despair and resilience; and betrayal and friendship.  All the while it showcases the struggles of two of the gang as they struggle forward, dealing with their immense losses in a world gone mad.  Though the extensive tragedy on display early on in the story might turn off some readers, for those who carried on the narrative is truly something to behold.

I think what has really kept my focus in this year’s developments has been the changes that have occurred in Ruby and Petrie’s views of the world.  What we now see is a distraught and unstable Ruby and a rather confident and outgoing Petrie – a dramatic shift from the situation prior to their parting.  Though now with the climax of the story at hand, I am eager to see how our two groups of comrades eventually comes together to face what awaits them.  I must be careful to avoid spoilers so I will not go into more detail on recent events, but I am quite sure that you will not disappoint in bringing this story to a magnificent conclusion.  As such the only thing preventing this story from obtaining a 10/10 is the fact that it is unfinished as of the writing of this review.


Name of fanfiction: One Fallen, Two Torn Apart
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16251.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Rating: 8.5/10

The basis of this story is indeed an ambitious one as it confronts something that has not been extensively explored in the canon: the backstory to Petrie’s family.  The presentation of Tuulen as Petrie's father is a unique one, which strikes a careful balance.  At once making him sympathetic to the reader but also obviously more than a little overwhelmed with the hardships that parenthood has placed upon him. Pterano’s depiction here likewise mixes his egotism with a genuine desire to help.  As I mentioned in my initial review, I quite like this depiction of Pterano as it makes him much more sympathetic while still keeping him a flawed character.

Overall, however, this story above all us made me feel for Petrie.  Here we can clearly see the beginnings of the bad blood between himself and his siblings as well as his insecurities about flying.  In  doing show it provides a very believable backstory for the dynamics that we see manifested in Petrie’s family (and Petrie’s personality) throughout the series.


Name of fanfiction: A Father's Hope, A Son's Failure
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16354.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Rating: 8.0/10

I would like to begin this review by thinking back something I said in my initial review:

Quote
This story in many ways began with tragedy and ended with tragedy.  Along the way I think that is also showed how an otherwise good and loyal soul could be corrupted by the opulence of power.  From the onset Liras obviously did not want this burden of leadership and responsibility though it is not entirely obvious whether this was due to ulterior motives (laziness) or an understanding that he was not up to the task assigned to him. 

His sudden turn to decadence (after a time jump) reminds me in some ways of the transition that Tiberius made during his time as Roman Emperor - from frugal administrator with little love from the public to a debauched individual.  What makes this characterization all the more tragic is how in the end he struggled to save his daughter only to be cursed for his excesses, failure to live up to his father's teachings, and his final reckless act.  It can be a difficult thing to make such a narrative of self-destruction while still making the protagonist sympathetic, but you have succeeded in this striking this delicate balance.  The final scene with Liras resolving to atone for his past misdeeds and maladministration further puts him in a sympathetic, if tragic, light.

Needless to say, the parallels between Liras and Lenel have been quite telling indeed, from their failings as leaders to their desire to redeem themselves in their own eyes and in the eyes of their followers.  As such, I can now clearly see why you wanted this as a separate story as opposed to an entry within Separate Ways itself.  By itself, this story sheds some additional light on the history of Olres and his family, and adds to the rich lore of the story as a whole.


Name of fanfiction: The Birth of Something Beautiful
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16436.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Rating: 9.0/10

Romance is a genre that has not been my strong suit, to put it mildly.  As such, it is always impressive to me when someone manages to effectively handle this genre.  As I said in my initial review:

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I think what really makes this story work is not only the narrative of the story itself (the brotherly conflict was nicely handled in a way that shows romance disrupting a healthy sibling relationship) but the juxtaposition of the conversation between Bron and Littlefoot. The both of them need to catch up on the entire situation and to resolve the tensions from their first awkward meeting, and this tension is reflected in the story itself.  Not only that, but I also enjoy how Littlefoot begins to reflect on choices that he made in his own life and how Bron made a different choice - the choice to stay in his sanctuary and to leave his parents.  This reflects not only on Littlefoot considering himself relative to his father, but it also shows that Littlefoot, despite not having entered the time of Great Growing yet, has certainly grown into his own.

As such this story accomplishes much more than merely being a romance.  It shows the extent (and limits) of family attachments through the damage done to Bron’s relationship with his brother, and it shows how Littlefoot might consider his own life choices in the context of his father’s own choices.  It also seamlessly meshes many elements into a coherent story that truly captured the emotions of the moment and presented the characters in a very believable way.  This is one of those stories that I could easily see as being canon.


Name of fanfiction: Of Hubris and Submission
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16453.0
Author(s): Sovereign
Rating: 9.5/10

This story serves as an excellent follow-up to ‘One Fallen, Two Torn Apart’ as it focuses in more detail on something that we only got a summary of in the seventh film: the splitting of the grand herd and the destruction of Pterano’s group.  Throughout the entire story there is a suffocating sense of tension and dread as we all know how things are going to turn out, but this makes the journey to that point no less horrifying to see.  Despite Pterano wanting the best for his followers what eventually plays out is the embodiment of the phrase: the path to hell is often paved in good intentions.  As I said in my initial review:

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The struggles and suffering of the children during the journey really helps to capture the hopelessness of the situation. From the two swimmers who die while leaving the group, to one of Cera's siblings falling due to lack of food and rest, we see Pterano's vision turn into a growing hell at a rapid pace. Despite this he is able to maintain control of his makeshift herd, albeit with difficulty, using his gift of oratory and correctly reading the group.  Then, as if to validate his leadership and the hardships of the others, fate brings them to what looks like a sanctuary with food and shelter... only to reveal itself as the site of their doom. In many ways Pterano's respite from another dinosaur's revenge might have been the least merciful option from his future self's point of view.

The resulting look at this tragedy and what led up to it provides deep insights into Pterano’s character and what makes him tick.  It also provides us a lot of context for his need to not only redeem himself in his mind, but also in the eyes of others.  As such, ‘One Fallen, Two Torn Apart’ and ‘Of Hubris and Submission’ provide very welcome insights into the backstories of Petrie, Volant, and Pterano.  They are stories that I consider honorary canon, as they fit into what we know from canon sources, while at the same time adding so much more to the narrative.  As such you should be very proud of what you accomplished with these stories. :)


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

rhombus

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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2019, 10:45:31 PM »
Next up are my thoughts on Diddy's submitted works.  :)petrie

Name of fanfiction: The Hurting of Desire
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16255.0
Author: DiddyKF1
Rating: 8.0/10

In a year that produced numerous explorations of Petrie’s family life and backstory, this story can be seen as starting that trend.  Though where others focused on Pterano and the journey to the valley, this one is focused more on the here and now (at least relative to where the series is).  I did like how this story used a sleep story to begin Petrie’s burst of self-discovery and how this led to a heart-to-heart conversation between him and his mother.  I also did enjoy that this story matched my own personal head-canon for Petrie’s speaking disorder.  As I mentioned in my initial review:

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Although the almost clinical focus seemed a bit overdone, I can certainly see Petrie having something that might run in his family.  In fact many verbal disorders do have a genetic component.  On a side note, my own favored explanation for Petrie's grammar issues is "expressive language disorder" which is a condition where one's spoken communication is well below-average for one's age (as is verbal memory), but their language comprehension (and non-verbal memory) is normal or, in some cases, above average. Regardless of what Petrie has, however, his siblings' lack of empathy for his situation is not helping him at all.

I did enjoy how this story presented a believable depiction of Petrie's and Mama Flyer's emotions as they each deal with their own struggles.  The constant reassurances from Petrie’s mother conveyed a sense of hope throughout the story even though the struggles remained throughout.


Name of fanfiction: Is it Right?
Link to fanfiction on the GoF: http://www.gangoffive.net/index.php?topic=16398.0
Author: DiddyKF1
Rating: 7.5/10

I quite enjoyed how this story showcased a part of the canon that was not shown in detail at the end of the first film: what came after the initial shock of them reaching their destination and being reunited with their families.  At a deeper level, it was interesting to see each of the gang confronting how much of their parents' lessons might be misguided. Through Littlefoot's introspection we have a window into the mental questioning that must be happening in each of the gang's minds since they arrived back which is only confirmed by their eventual conversation.  The dialogue presented in this story is quite in-character, and it shows off the character growth in all of the characters from the first film, especially Cera.  Though not without some pacing issues, this story does showcase your ability to expand out of your comfort zone and to explore other characters in some detail.  As I did in my initial review, I encourage you to continue to expand your literary range.  It can be difficult at first, but, as this story shows, the results can be quite rewarding. :)


Go ahead and check out my fanfictions, The Seven Hunters, Songs of the Hunters, and Mender's Tale
Mender's Tale.

OwlsCantRead

  • Finally got Petrie rank :)
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Re: Fanfiction Voting 2019
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2019, 11:30:30 PM »
Alright, I'm finally finishing off strong with Sovereign's stories! :Mo

Name of fanfiction: One Fallen, Two Torn Apart
Rating: 10/10
Review: No doubt about it, this story probably evoked the most profound emotions out of me throughout the entire year. The 20,000 word count, while overwhelming at first, actually only serves to enunciates the tale of what was once a well-knit flyer family before everything went south, terribly south, In a way, I almost wonder how different Petrie would have been had he never lost Tuulen as his father, since this fic rightly implies that his jittery nervousness is out of post-traumatic stress and possible survivor’s guilt at witnessing all his brothers and sisters get eviscerated by predators right in front of his eyes. Though Petrie had nearly died after hatching, I would think that this is his critical threshold, turning him into the panicky flyer that he is today.

There’s something I should stress: almost all of Sovereign’s fics this season have a singular point of commonness — Doomed by Canon. Due to reasons, we as readers already know how the story would likely end, and it is that knowledge of how situations play out in canon that causes the process of getting to that daunting destination that leads to all sorts of drama. In a sense, this story has a decoy protagonist — Tuulen, Petrie’s father. After he is unceremoniously taken out, his death ends up being the catalyst of events that would end up tearing the flyer family apart as things go from back to worse. Because in truth, the true focus of this fic is Pterano, as well as his relationship with his sister Volant. It is truly frightening to see him transform from an overprotective yet still egotastic flyer—the way he treats Tuulen is passive-aggressive—concerned for his sister’s family in the start of the story to an angry flyer who almost blames his sister for losing everything… it is heart-wrenching to see.

The overwhelming sense of tragedy that encompasses the fall of what was once Volant’s steadfast family—first her mate, then three of her children, following which is the loss of Petrie (seemingly in the aftermath of the Great Earthshake) and her final bastion of hope in her brother—perfectly encapsulates that the blue flyer has had her heart torn out from her many times over. Her grief from losing her mate in the sharptooth attack is very poignant, and there are many such scenes that sell the cohesiveness and closeness of the flyer family before everything slowly went straight to hell. That said, what led to the final strained relationship between the two siblings from situations beyond their control is cruel irony — Pterano’s survivor’s guilt over losing Tuulen is what causes the loss of Petrie to drive him over the edge, especially as like with Tuulen, Petrie is calling for help that he simply couldn’t make it. That feeling of inadequacy is what sets of Pterano on a path of no return as he threatens to deviate from the norm to gain power in the hopes of finding solace to cope with his guilt.

It is this subtle poetry and twisted fate that leads to Pterano’s start of darkness… but is it really, though? History is written by the winners, and I’d like to think that there is a universe out there where Pterano is proven right and his ego gets the last laugh. While I occasionally take issue with Sovereign’s descriptive-esque writing style, I see no such problem occurring with this fic — no scene or paragraph is dragged out longer than required with padding, and every single moment only serves to heighten the inevitable tension and straining of the bond between siblings. Is it any surprise that I intend to confer the perfect score to it? This is hands-down my favorite short fic of the year! :)


Name of fanfiction: The Birth of Something Beautiful
Rating: 8.75/10
Review: Now, I am very well aware that Sovereign is not a fan of romance fics in LBT (more in favor of angsty dark stuff instead), so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this love story turned into a dramatic love triangle, even if the prompt did somewhat call for it.

Again, how things play out in canon gives away quite a bit in terms of suspense. We know that Bron would get the girl, the question now is how he does it when Beros is eyeing the same female, something which would lead to quite a bit of drama. As someone who is close to his siblings in real life, it actually hurts to see their mutual pursuit of Tranquil putting such a dent in Bron and Beros’ relationship. In a sense, Bron’s awkwardness is one of the funniest parts of the fic, especially his exasperated mother reacting to all the nonsense that a single girl can cause to the status quo. I think a lot of people can relate to that!

The fact that Tranquil’s backstory of her first almost-mate was later how she protects Littlefoot makes me think that eventually she would move on to be a stronger longneck than how she’s portrayed in this fic, as like Strongtail sacrificed everything for her, she sacrificed everything for her son. Though I will say that I kinda feel bad for Beros if he wasn’t so antagonistic towards Bron, as he is Doomed by Canon (hey look, that trope again :p), in a sense. Deadline for the fic awards is looming and I’m kinda out of words, but tl;dr: I’m rating this slightly lower than the other two as the writing is very slightly weaker than the Pterano fics in my personal opinion. I still like this look into Littlefoot’s mother, though, as it brings out a different side to her we haven’t seen prior.


Name of fanfiction: Of Hubris and Submission
Rating: 9.5/10
Review: This is another story that is long overdue to have its ramifications explored — Pterano’s actions that the adults reminiscence upon in The Stone of Cold Fire. Reading this fic is like watching two trains closing in on one another and knowing that a crash is imminent. Doomed by Canon strikes once again, because we all know that this journey and Pterano’s power grab will end in failure, yet it is this very same point that grips the reader to their seat as the seeing events of these hapless dinosaur’s journeys to their deaths is like peering into a time capsule.

Pterano seems like a rather disjointed leader, and here I actually like that there is a reason for his insistence and cocky behavior due to this being a sequel to “One Fallen, Two Torn Apart”, as in a way it links and continues from the end of that story, with Pterano trying to one-up and prove Volant wrong, though that slight hatred of his sister’s choice really starts to eat at him and makes his tearful reunion with her that much more devastating as he’s forced to admit to his sins at the story’s conclusion, but only to her and her alone.

Swiftcharge’s grab for power when she regrets her choice of leaving Topps after Nila almost collapses is rather unexpected. In a sense, the herd dynamics throughout are fascinating to read, especially the brief reprieve they get from the valley of green is cruelly cut short by the fastbiter ambush. The thoughts and viewpoints of Cera’s mother and siblings as they are taken on their final journey to a valley they would never reach is heart-wrenching. Cera’s family never got much attention, but the dawning realization on Swiftcharge that Topps’ usual bigotry could have saved her family as she attempts to take Pterano with her is saddening to read.

The deaths of his entire group also closes his survivor’s guilt trauma arc started in the former story by having it hammer into Pterano that this time, it truly is his fault. The power and leadership he’d craved so that he could deflect the blame from Tuulen’s death for so long had all fell apart, and this extended backstory thus makes saving Ducky in The Stone of Cold Fire very satisfying. The slight drop in score is because I find “One Fallen, Two Torn Apart” the better fic of the two in terms of writing, but this duology is still a very memorable one. I enjoyed both of them very much, and Sovereign has proven to be a great author in terms of suspense, action, and emotions. :D
This quaint creature soars when the Night Circle is poised at the highest point of the twilight sky, messing up his circadian rhythm in the process. Truly, a tragic flyer. :P