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Land Before Time: Twilight Valley

Serris · 237 · 31826
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Serris

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on: February 03, 2008, 05:54:57 PM
I know that I have made two disjointed topics (because I didn't have a title when I wrote the first chapter :bang ) on this and I thought it would be more streamlined to place them here.

It's also on fanfiction.net but I decided to do what Great Valley Guardian did and move it here (and I was motivated for the same reason-no reviews).

NOTE: I will replace the giant blocks of text with a simple link to the story because it is far too difficult to correct errors in them and there is less scrolling for the readers.

Author's notes will still remain.

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Serris

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Reply #1 on: February 03, 2008, 05:55:16 PM
Chapter 1

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ETA (15:16 - 2/9/08) Came up with a title for the chapter.

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Serris

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Reply #2 on: February 03, 2008, 05:55:40 PM
Chapter 2

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ETA (15:11 - 2/9/08) Came up with title for this chapter.

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Serris

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Reply #3 on: February 03, 2008, 05:56:08 PM
Chapter 3

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ETA: (15:18 - 2/9/08)

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Serris

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Reply #4 on: February 07, 2008, 12:40:30 PM
Chapter 4

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Author's Notes:

The idea of flyers and smaller dinosaurs on their backs as a "Great Valley Air Force" was inspired by a scene from another fanfic.

Edit (2/7/08 - 20:10): Some slight grammatical errors corrected.

Edit (15:23 - 2/9/08): Added title to chapter.

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Reply #5 on: February 07, 2008, 05:04:27 PM
Hello:
 That's a great number of updates :^.^: , the story is going good, not even a bit of slow.
 Keep it up, it looks quite interesting, and it appears that the rock did have some hidden powers :blink: .

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Reply #6 on: February 07, 2008, 05:41:00 PM
That was an interesting read.  As for some flyers able to carry some dinos, in one of the movies there was one large enough to carry Littlefoot, Cera, and Spike as I recall, so it is possible there are others able to carry 1 adult.

Serris

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Reply #7 on: February 11, 2008, 06:02:44 PM
Chapter 5

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Author's Notes:

This chapter is one of the most supernatural/surreal chapters I have written for this fan fic. Not to say that later chapters won't have a heavy supernatural element to them ;).

The idea of The Lone Dinosaur as a supernatural protector is based on LBT 6 and the associated legends that Littlefoot was told by his grandparents.

Also the necklace of sharpteeth teeth that I adorned him with is based on the appearance of Saurus Rock from LBT 6.

Also, I credit DarkHououmon for inspiring me to add a supernatural edge to The Lone Dinosaur. (His version was The Lone Dinosaur as a wandering ghost)

On (18:29 - 5/15/08) I changed Raptix's appearence (gave him a coat of purple-blue feathers) to reflect the fact that real dromeosaurs had feathers (I think he looks better with a coat of feathers :lol). Yes, I know that Deimos (a sickleclaw or a Deinonychus is also a dromeosaur but I'm not going to give him a coat of feathers (he wouldn't look so great with feathers). Also all fast-biters (usually Velociraptors) will be depicted with feathers in this story.

"Spike-Frill" is the LBT name for Styracosaurus

Edit (17:05 - 2/11/08): Changed title due to conflict with DarkHououmon's fan fic.
Edit (2:12 - 2/16/08): Added more to the chapter.
Edit (16:57 - 2/16/08): Slight typo corrected.
Edit (16:10 - 3/12/08): Chapter completed.
Edit: (18:01 - 3/12/08): Slight typo corrected.
Edit: (18:29 - 5/15/08): Changed Raptix's appearence.

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Kor

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Reply #8 on: February 11, 2008, 08:48:02 PM
In some universes there may be a strong supernatural elements or presense in LBT.  In others likely not.  Just my take on it.  I liked reading the chapter, though I classify it as not taking place in one of the pure lbt earths but one of the other ones.  Not worst then them, just in a different lbt earth where some of the physical laws are different.

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Reply #9 on: February 12, 2008, 10:55:10 PM
Hello:
 When reading a story, it is always necessary to be open to what the author have to offer, then we decide to keep on reading or not.
 So far it looks good, that chapter do change the vision we have on the Lone Dinosaur by giving him a more mystic feel to it's legend. Keep it up!

Serris

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Reply #10 on: March 12, 2008, 04:13:19 PM
After 1 month of delays, chapter 5 is now finished!

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Serris

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Reply #11 on: March 23, 2008, 12:47:00 AM
Chapter 6

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Author's Notes:

The idea of medicinal plants was inspired by LBT 6 (The song "Bad Luck" has Ducky and Spike sporting leaf bandages).

Edit (12:48 - 3/23/08) - slight word deletion

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Reply #12 on: March 23, 2008, 04:33:54 AM
An interesting read, thanks.   They did do that in that movie, also in the tv episode, The Great Log Running Game Tria/Tricia (whichever is the older pink threehorn's name) puts some leaves on Cera's sprained ankle to help ease the pain.  So it seems a thing known to some adults to at least some extent.  Though likely some would know more about this then others.

Serris

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Reply #13 on: April 27, 2008, 01:52:07 AM
After a bunch of delays I present Chapter 7 of Twilight Valley. Be warned this chapter does contain some language and is quite a bit more violent and graphic than the other chapters.

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Chapter 7

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Author's notes:

The idea of military style training was taken from another LBT fan fic (War of the Worlds by Falcon88).

I like to thank Dark Pterano (FF.net name: Dark Fox Tailz) for suggesting the idea of Ozzie and Strut periodically engaged in combat throughout the story <this is the 1st combat between them>.

The idea of Sierra and Rinkus dropping their foes from a great height had some inspiration from LBT 2 (Ozzie threatens to throw Littlefoot off a cliff).

Edit - (5/9/08 - 16:56): added accidentally deleted passage

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Serris

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Reply #14 on: May 01, 2008, 04:47:45 PM
Each chapter takes a few weeks to complete because I have very limited time.

On a side note, I'm currently working on Chapter 8 of Twilight Valley.

Don't be shy about leaving reviews, I can take them.

I'm open to suggestions and ideas. Hell, maybe even your OC may make it in I like  him/her.

I'll give a little teaser of the upcoming chapters:

There's going to be a large battle and an exodus from the Great Valley (Great Valley dinos leave).

You'll meet green team, black team, red squadron and yellow team.

Green team is going to appear first.

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Reply #15 on: May 01, 2008, 06:59:13 PM
Very good story! I'm sorry I didn't review this sooner!

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Reply #16 on: May 02, 2008, 02:46:57 AM
Please update again soon.

Serris

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Reply #17 on: May 17, 2008, 12:39:16 AM
Chapter 8

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Author's Notes:

I gave Raptix a coat of purple-blue feathers.

See:
Quote
On (18:29 - 5/15/08) I changed Raptix's appearence (gave him a coat of purple-blue feathers) to reflect the fact that real dromeosaurs had feathers (I think he looks better with a coat of feathers). Yes, I know that Deimos (a sickleclaw or a Deinonychus is also a dromeosaur but I'm not going to give him a coat of feathers (he wouldn't look so great with feathers). Also all fast-biters (usually Velociraptors) will be depicted with feathers in this story.

EDIT (5/27/08 - 21:38) - Revamped chapter (continuty error and unfinished sentence fixed)

EDIT (7/21/08 - 20:23) - Continuity error fixed

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Serris

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Reply #18 on: June 21, 2008, 03:56:35 AM
Chapter 9

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Author's Notes:

Again, I would like to credit Falcon88 for the idea of military style training.

Deimos's tenets of fighting and fighting style are inspired by Krav Maga

The idea of Raptix wagging his tail at inappropriate times has been considered as a running gag in this work.

Dark Pterano (FF.net name: Dark Fox Tailz) deserves all credit for naming the Great Valley airforce. His name: Great Valley Air Corps

Dark Pterano (FF.net name: Dark Fox Tailz) also deserves credit for the idea of a Ozzie v. Strut fight where Strut accidentally destroys an egg he's supposed to be protecting.

Edit - (19:48 - 6/21/08) - revamped passage
Edit - (1:18 - 7/3/08) - added more Author's Notes

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Reply #19 on: June 26, 2008, 03:40:53 AM
man, awesome story, mate! cannot wait for chapter 10. please post it soon! :D

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