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Land Before Time: Twilight Valley

Serris · 237 · 31989

Serris

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Quote from: Dark Pterano,Jan 27 2009 on  09:06 PM
I'm sorry to say but Guido's not going to be in the story as far as I know of.
Hey, you never know. But the chance is quite remote that I'm adding him in.

And no Zelda WILL not appear. This is a pure non-cross over LBT fan fic.

And yes, Spike is confirmed for the expedition team BUT there is one more surprise on the expedition team.

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Serris

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Here it is! Chapter 16!

WARNING! This chapter contains some drug use.

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Chapter 16

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Author's Notes:

The effects of the plant that Deimos chews and lodges under his tongue are intended to be similar to the effects of chewing coca leaves. See here for details

Ali X Littlefoot is such a common shipping that it's become a staple of fan fiction. Hence the Ali and Littlefoot scene. Besides even a war story could use some romance.

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ETA (2/4/09) - 17:01 (added more Author's Notes)

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Godsmack

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Well, I can see I'm doing my job if people are hating Ms. Maia. :lol

As for Chapter 17... I'm working on it. You'll meet 2 new characters from the movies.





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Serris

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Here's Chapter 17: Chapter 17

Enjoy!

And I am sorry that I could not keep my promise of adding 2 new characters from the  movies. I hope you are satisfied with 1 new character from the movies.

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Author's Notes

The appearance of the sickleclaw Manhattan was somewhat inspired by Dr. Manhattan of Watchmen. His name was chosen as a complement to his companion's name (Utah).

Coda is the name I gave Ms. Mama (the female Diplodocus from LBT 9)

The Great Sky-Water refers to the monsoon that flooded part of the Great Valley in LBT 9.

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Serris

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Chapter 18

Enjoy!

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Author's Notes:

"Crested Swimmer" is the LBT name for a Corythosaurus.

The idea of dinosaurs using different "technology" is an extension of the idea that LBT dinos would have different cultures.


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Cancerian Tiger

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Another interesting chapter :yes.  I wonder if the three prisoners will team up with Chomper and Ducky to kick A** :idea.


Serris

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How far should I take the weaponry? I will not exceed the stone age but it is divided into 3 eras and each era is more advanced.

Should I allow the use of slings (and give the Great Valley and Claw Valley each a slinger corps?). Not sure how the dinosaurs could come up with the idea of slings.

I'm fairly certain that bows and arrows are out.

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Also, I have played around with the idea of a "legendary weapon": a meteoric iron sword or spear. There will probably only be 1 or MAYBE 2 in the story.

Yes, meteoric iron is very rare but I don't see why it doesn't exist in their world.

Now the problem is how do the dinosaurs know how to forge an iron meteorite into a weapon?

Why meteoric iron? Well, it's the only source of metal the dinosaurs have and I am not going to have the dinosaurs start prospecting/mining for metals in their native state and obviously, they don't know how to smelt ores.

Now, I don't know which side to give it to.

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Dark Pterano

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I think you sould just keep it, the way it is now and forget about using the meteoric iron? Because if you keep adding more weapons. The story won't be as believable,  I mean their dinosaurs and weapons like swords, just might be a little too much to handle!

If you have to add a couple of more weapons, just use the slings and spears, but the spears sould only be make out of wood.



Serris

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Okay, "legendary weapons" (i.e. meteoric iron) are out. Slings will be used (discovered by accident). Oh, the dinosaurs generally use stone tipped spears.

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Chapter 19.

Enjoy.

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Author's Notes:

The "breath" of the "breathing lake" refers to a limnic eruption.

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Dark Pterano

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I have to agree with that one part in chapter nineteen, Mr. Threehorn can be a real ignorant bastard at times?

And here's an idea for you to use later on, since your going to have some the Claw Valley dino's get a wish off of the stone of cold fire. Because a while back you did say something about Sierra getting a wish off of it. I was thinking that some of the Great Valley dino's sould secretly sneak in with or without / by a flyer and get a wish off it too.

But only after Pterano gets a wish off of the stone of cold fire. In fact I think these names sould get a wish, that way these four fights between these eight dino's could / would be epic for the final battle near the end of the story!


Sierra vs. Pterano                                    
Littlefoot vs. Excidium  
Strut vs. Ozzie                                            
Deimos vs. Phobos


brekclub85

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Good to see Chomper and Ducky involved in the story again, I just hope Chomper doesn't turn evil or anything.


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Finally an update!  That's sad, picturing an emeciated and tortured Ducky :cry.  I really wish she was in shape to kick a** like the others.  Will the new trio of prisoners help Ducky and Chomper conduct a prison break?  That'd be cool :idea!  Nice update, BTW :yes!


Serris

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Warning: this chapter contains some intense and graphic violence.

Here it is: Chapter 20

On a side note: The story stands at 82,081 words. There is an EXTREMELY high chance that it will exceed 100,000 words.

And as I have said: thank you to all the fans of this story!

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Author's Notes:

Thanks to Cancerian Tiger for the idea of a prison break.

Thanks to Dark Pterano for Iquan's riddle and the idea of a riddle as a puzzle.

Spikethumb = Iguanadon

The idea of a challenge with the leader of a herd was borrowed from Star Fox Adventures

The vine slings are from the Twilight Valley RP.

The idea of "taunt the enemy until they get mad and attack you" was inspired by Treasure Planet.

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Quote
Thanks to Cancerian Tiger for the idea of a prison break.

It certainly turned out greater than I had imagined :yes.  They outta get Ducky some food soon :(.  Great chapter!  This just keeps getting better and better ;).


brekclub85

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Good chapter, glad to see Chomper and Ducky are finally free!  :)


Serris

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Quote from: Cancerian Tiger,May 17 2009 on  12:08 AM
It certainly turned out greater than I had imagined :yes.  They outta get Ducky some food soon :(.  Great chapter!  This just keeps getting better and better ;).
Thanks. How did you imagine the prison break?

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I had imagined either Ed, Vio and Rytho would either somehow snipe the guards from a distance or snek out while the guards were sleeping.  

Listen, I came up with an idea for a scene for the next chapter while I was at work yesterday.  It's at your discretion as to whether or not to use it.  I have a rep (so does my writing) for being an emotional person, so if it's too dramatic, feel welcome to make changes.  If ya don't use it, I won't be offended ;).  If it is used, feel free to use it verbatim.  Anyhoo, here it is:

Chomper, Vio, Ed, Rytho and a weak emaciated Ducky had travelled deep into the forest by the time the Bright Circle had risen.  Everything seemed to be going fine, until Ducky felt an overwhelming sense of weakness and dizziness.
“Ugh,” she gasped quietly as she collapsed to the ground, nearly taking Ed down with her.  They put their weapons down quickly before Vio and Ed gently turned her onto her back.
“Ducky!  Are you okay?!” Vio called out as he crouched down next to her.
“I’m not going to make it,” she whispered.  She was terribly pale and gaunt.  Vio rested a clawed hand on her forehead.
“You’ll make it, Ducky.  We’re gonna get out of here.  Ed!  Rytho!  Find some green food quickly!”
Ed and Rytho, who had also crouched next to Ducky, jumped up and went to find the most succulent green food they could find.  Chomper came up to Vio and Ducky.
“Will she be alright?” Chomper asked out of concern for his friend.  Vio nodded.
“Yeah, as long as we get some food in her soon.   B******s!  I can’t believe they did this to you, Ducky.  They’ll pay with their lives for sure!” said Vio.
Upon hearing that, Ducky thought about her brother, Saurolo, who had been murdered in cold blood.  She suddenly began to cry harshly.
“Ducky, what’s the matter?” asked Vio.  Ducky said nothing for a few moments before she began.
“My…my brother…Saurolo.  He…was killed,” she sobbed.
“What?!” gasped Vio.
“Yes,” Ducky choked.  “They could not get me to talk, so they killed him…right in front of me.  He… was gutted then decapitated.  This is mostly his blood on me.”  She was crying harder by that point.  
“Shh,” soothed Chomper as he rested a hand on Ducky’s shoulder.  “Don’t cry so hard, Ducky.  You haven’t much strength.”
“Let her grieve,” Vio said compassionately.  “Don’t worry, Ducky.  We’ll get those damn b******s for this.  Your brother’s death will be avenged.”  Just then, Ed and Rytho returned with an abundance of succulent green food.
“Look what we’ve brought, Ducky,” said Rytho.  He and Ed then noticed Ducky’s harsh crying, along with Vio and Chomper comforting her.
“What’s wrong?” asked Ed.
“Her brother was killed right in front of her in those a**holes’ attempts to get her to talk.  That’s why she’s bloody,” explained Vio.
“Aw, we’re sorry, Ducky.  We’ll get ëem back, but for now, try to eat something,” soothed Rytho.
“I don’t know if I can.  Poor Saurolo,” Ducky sniffled.
“C’mon, Ducky.  This is life or death,” said Ed.  Ducky looked even more pitiful than before.  He and Rytho brought the food over and sat down next to Ducky.
“Here, let me help you,” soothed Vio as he carefully lifted Ducky to a sit up position and held her.  He could care less if she was messy or not.  She needed support more than ever, and he knew she was on the brink of death.  Ducky tried to lift her hand to pick up some green food but to no avail.
“I can’t do it,” she whispered.  “I’m done for.”
“Oh, no you’re not.  Stop thinking like that.  Ed, give me some of that green food,” ordered Vio.  Ed did as told.
“C’mon, Ducky.  This green food is very luscious.  You’ll enjoy it,” said Vio just before he fed Ducky a mouthful of green food.  She slowly chewed before it went down.
“That is good.  Can I have some more?” she asked weakly.
“As much as you can eat, Ducky,” soothed Vio as Ed gave him more green food.  It took a while, but Ducky managed to eat most of the green food.  Vio, Ed, Rytho and Chomper all smiled in a pleased fashion.
“Feel better?” asked Vio as he gently rubbed Ducky’s abdomen.
“Food wise,” Ducky replied, this time with more strength in her voice.  “But I could use a bath right now.”
“Hey, Ed and I found a stream nearby when we were getting green food,” said Rytho.
“Outstanding.  Help me get her up,” Vio ordered.  Ed and Rytho did as told.  Once Ed managed to walk Ducky over to the stream and help her sit down in the water, she began to scrub herself off.  As she did that, Saurolo’s blood and her own blood drifted down the stream.  She began to cry again.  She had been very close to her brother, and even blamed herself for his murder.  She loved him, along with her other siblings, very much.  Her heart wrenched as she thought of him.  “I’m sorry, Saurolo.  Please forgive me,” she sniffled as she finished bathing.  Meanwhile, a short distance downstream, the others were silent as they frequently glanced over at Ducky.
“I feel so bad for her,” said Rytho.
“I know it,” agreed Vio.
“This is a sad time for her, but she’s tough.  She’ll get over this quickly,” added Ed.
“No, Ed,” replied Chomper.  “I’ve known Ducky since we were very young.  She’s the most sensitive dinosaur I have ever known, and family means so much to her.  It will take her many bright circles to get over her brother’s death.  We have to be strong for her.”  Chomper looked over at Ducky again and noticed she was trying to get up but was having difficulty.
“Hey, she’s done.  Let’s go help her,” Chomper said as he began to walk over to Ducky.  The others followed.  Ducky looked up as they came over to her.  As they helped her up, they noticed she was crying again.  
“It’s okay, Ducky,” Chomper whispered as he embraced her.  She returned the gesture.  The others could not help but notice the markings she had received as a result of being tortured.
"Those b******s are really asking for an a** kicking!" growled Rytho, smashing his right fist into his left hand.
"Count me in!" agreed Ed.
“Not just yet, guys.  Let’s allow her to rest up,” said Vio.  They then walked Ducky a few feet away from the stream before lowering her down.  
“Sleep well, Ducky.  We’ll keep watch,” Chomper soothed just before he nuzzled Ducky’s head.
“Yeah, we will,” added Vio, gently rubbing Ducky’s back.  "If those b******s come anywhere near you, we’ll take care of them.”  
“Thank you,” whispered Ducky.
“Don’t worry, Ducky,” said Rytho as he gave Ducky’s hand a light squeeze.
“Be not afraid, for we’ll protect you,” added Ed as he patted Ducky’s shoulder.  
“Thanks again, guys,” Ducky whispered nearly inaudibly as she fell asleep.
“You’re quite welcome,” said Vio.  “C’mon, guys.  Hold your weapons and keep your eyes peeled.” As they sat, their backs turned to Ducky as they kept her surrounded, could not help but glance at her now and then.  The thought of what those evil monsters had put her through only made their hunger for vengeance intensify.