All I Want

[LBTDiclonius]

Hello guys!

Okay, in my school, I have this friend. She's very nice and  so very generous and just awesome to be around. But, she's been having some rather bad troubles lately. Some of her 'friends' are just being so mean right now I can't even speak of it! The first person, I can understand, not even I like her, and it's pretty hard to make me not like you unless you've done something terribly wrong. The other one, I just can't believe. How could he do that? Just to make himself look better? Like, what the h*** is wrong with him? Sorry for the vulgar language, but I was just so shocked and angry when I found her coming over to me with tears in her eyes. Since I was in such a sad and angry mood, I just had to get it out the best way I know how, through my writing. I generally use words on a page, better than the words that come out of my very lips. So, I decided to make this poem for her, to tell her, she has friends that will help her through every minute of this situation. Supper Chicken, I love you and I'll always help you with your troubles, no matter how hard, or how bad, my friend! ChaoticMistress, if you're reading this, you know who I'm talking about if you recognized the nickname. If she's told you already, you know what the poem is based on, if she hasn't, just say so and I'll tell you the story in a PM, or ask her yourself tomorrow or whenever you're at school. Okay, here it is! Please note: I haven't made a lot of poems in my very short life, nor this long of a poem, so go easy on this one.

Enjoy!

All I want

I didn’t want you to make me mad,
But you went and crumpled my wish.
I didn’t want you to draw an ugly thing and call it my name,
But it looks like you did.

You called me again and again,
 For no real purpose at all.
You lean on my support for you,
But I want to let you fall.

Can’t you just take care of yourself?
I don’t need this pain.
Can’t you get in trouble once?
I don’t want the blame.

No one helps me, no one understands.
I can’t deal with what’s in my hands.
If you could know the pain I feel,
You wouldn’t know how to take a stand.

If I had a knife, I would stab you hard
But I know that it wouldn’t help.
If I had an axe I would cut you shameless
But I know that you would call for help.

When you call they all come for you
But they never come for me.
When you whine, you have them wrapped around your finger,
They’ll never be like that for me.

If you could understand the pain I feel right now
You would know to lay the abuse off, please make it stop!
If you could understand the hole in my heart
You would know that I can’t mend the wall, please make it stop!

If you can’t follow my expectations,
You don’t deserve me at all!
If you can’t find yourself anymore,
You don’t deserve me at all!

I can’t make it go away; it’s in my face all the time,
How can I make it end?
I know they’re there, just waiting for me,
How can I make it end?

They depend on me, I don’t need them,
Why can’t they be like me?
I can’t help feeling I’m going through hardships,
Why can’t they be like me?

To understand what it feels like to be used and abused,
That’s what they need to feel.
To know when to stop; to leave me alone!
That’s what they need to feel.

I can’t fight it; I know that’s impossible,
But I wish someone would help me.
I can’t understand what goes on through their heads when they’re rude to me,
But I wish someone would help me.

Now I’m realizing I can’t let them drag me into suffering,
I know I can do it.
Now I’m realizing I have friends on my side.
I know how to pull through it.

Just don’t give my reaction, they’ll stop altogether,
Only if that were true.
They turn to face me everyday,
I’ll just have to make it through.

But I know I can do it, I know they can’t help it,
I really wish they would.
To leave me alone for one day of peace,
I truly wish they would.

Now, I’m alone with nothing but darkness,
I can’t help but be afraid.
Sometimes I wish that someone would find me,
But I know it’s never too late.

Some friends will shun me, others will help,
That’s what I need to have.
Some support from those close to me,
That’s what I need to have.

To hold in my hands, some support from them,
But now I realize I do.
For the true friends I have will never leave my side
I realize they’ll always love me too.

For now, I’ll have to depend on support to guide me,
But they’ll get theirs someday.
I’m strong and everyone knows it
They’ll get theirs someway.

Now I’m left with a broken heart, and nothing to live for right now,
But I’m wrong.
I have plenty of help right by my side,
And I know they’ll never be gone.

It's over, of course it is. I'm so good at pointing out the obvious! Please leave a comment and review! Thanks for reading!

[The Friendly Sharptooth]

This is probably the most emotional poem I have ever read. The inner turmoil, the anguish, the loathing, the longing- all twisted together in this dark poem make it very engaging, an adrenaline rush. One can just imagine the character thinking this with perspiration and an increased pulse rate during a frenzy. It was very enjoyable how the character started off low, got even lower, finally went high , took a tiny dip back down, then ended on a positive note.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to LBTDiclonius’ roller coaster of emotion and passion! Your mind must be at least four feet tall to ride, and make sure the children wear their safety harnesses! Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times lest you fall and be lost in this contorted world where feelings rise and fall like the sun. Just when you think things couldn’t be any lower, there comes another drop to sink you deeper into this epic ride of the true meaning of despair. When things get dark though, folks, don’t worry, as there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

The author just gripped us into the character’s horrors, causing readers to not just worry, but fear for not just the speaker but those who have done wrong as well, what with things like:

If I had a knife, I would stab you hard

If I had an axe I would cut you shameless

But they’ll get theirs someday.
I’m strong and everyone knows it
They’ll get theirs someway.

It’s as if the character has been damaged, scarred by what others have done, so there exists a lust for revenge, for justice, but he/she has wisely chosen to see if friends can help heal the wound before it causes the character to do something regrettable. Even with the hope though, it’s still a grey area, shown by the line:

Some friends will shun me, others will help,

In the end, the character is faced with the realistic situation of still being in trouble but having something to fall back on just in case- friends. Her determination is endless. There are no “maybe’s,” “perhaps’s,” or “possiblyës.” The character is certain that her assistance is endless:

I have plenty of help right by my side,
And I know they’ll never be gone.

The author didn’t just capture the sentimental moment; she captured us inside of it. This was well thought out and cleverly written.

Thanks for reading!

Why, it is I who thank you for the pleasure I had while reading your splendid work. I know that there is quite a lot more to be said about this poem, but I’ve just been tired for a while now, so I hope this review is satisfactory.

Lastly, I loved this so much that I decided to do a recital of it. I know I didn’t read much of it very well, but I think it kind of, maybe, sort of, captures the feeling you portrayed:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmSo6ron3EI