"You better not be implyin' what I think you're implyin'." Rango said, narrowing his eyes at Stirrup here.
"I ain't so bad with a gun, meself." Bill commented in an off-hand fashion, as if it were no big deal.
"Heheh... now THAT I'd like to see." Melander responded, turning to Stirrup, with a smile. "But not right now. I'm sure there are plenty of non-living targets to practice your marksmanship on, after all. Accidentally killing the good sheriff because your bark isn't as good as your bite simply wouldn't do." The western fence lizard shook his head here here and tsked. "I'm sure a judge might put a bounty out on you for such an action, and then you might find myself hunting you down." he smirked, pushing a hand into his chest now.
"Well!" Melander thumped his hands on the bar top as he continued. "It seems we're gathering up ourselves a posse, or close to it. Excellent! This is sort of what I was hoping for." Chugging another glass of water, he set it down heartily on the counter.
Before much more could be said, sudden screams resounded from outside...
A few minutes before, Waffles had been heading over to the general store to buy something for his hangover. It hadn't been very long before he'd suddenly looked up (after mostly looking at his feet during the walk) and found a giant chuckwalla standing before him. "Huh?" he muttered, blinking in the bright sun to see him more clearly.
Without warning, the big reptile suddenly grabbed Waffles by the throat, and yanked him in close. "Now you listen and you listen quick, mate. I believe a certain western fence lizard's either passed through these parts or else is staying with you here in town. You produce him NOW or I'll burn this entire town to the ground! Got it?" he demanded in a loud voice, shaking Waffles rather violently.
The horned lizard found his brain jarred from the constant rattling, and he had to take a moment to compose himself. "Eh... what?" he asked with confusion. "I... I haven't seen him!" he insisted.
"So... already won you over, has he? Have it your way!" The chuckwalla brutally kicked Waffles on his right knee, causing him to scream in pain as he went down, holding his bruised leg as the chuckwalla kicked him aside and began walking down Dirt's main road. "Attention citizens of Dirt!" he boomed in a voice that reverberated off the walls. "I believe you have in your possession a western fence lizard by the name of Peter Melander! He might be traveling under an assumed name! You will produce said individual at once, or I'm gonna raise hell in this town you won't soon forget! Ya hear me? Bring him on out!" he shouted, hands on his gun belt as he stepped with confidence down the row of buildings on either side.
Inside the saloon, Waffles's shrieks and the booming voice were clearly audible. "What's going on?" Rango asked, straightening up and listening to the words being shouted out now, then looking down at the western fence lizard, who appeared to shrink lower in his stool as if trying to appear inconspicuous.
"Nobody here by that name, right?" Melander asked softly, looking around innocently as his claws drummed on the counter top.
"You aren't some wanted criminal now... are ya?" Rango asked suspiciously, looking down at him.
"No... I can prove it." Melander reached into his coat pocket and quickly produced a warrant for a potential bounty, signed by a circuit court judge several towns away. "See? It's my profession, in case you doubted me before. I'm a servant of the courts. Why would I be motivated to commit a crime?"
"Ya got three minutes!" the voice was saying.
"All right, all right! I'll go take care of this!" Rango said, holding up his hands, pulling up his gun belt a bit, and striding for the saloon's doors.