A predicament

[Saft]

....
I had typed this out and selected post when my internet decided to die, normally I would copy it again just in case, didn't do it this time...

This isn't a bad post, I'm actually on a high: Essay given in, reading and mum and sister are visiting me this coming week, and I get to go home in three weeks time.

It's just that I'm a bit unsure of a decision to make and if anyone can give me advice then that will be great.

My aunt last week invited me to go to the museum with her on the 27th.  I want to go to the museum, I mean I love musuems and I like to seize any opportunity that allows me to go to one, but I just don't feel sure about her idea.

She wants to do as follows:

-Take train
-Walk, bus, taxi to museum
-Spend night in youth hostel so have extra day to go to museum
-Go back either sunday evening or Monday morning.

I don't mind walking to the museum and I don't mind taking the train itself.  I am worried about the mass crowds in the train and train stations.  I know that I can't escape somewhere I can regain control and calm down, it's not like here..where I can go to the garden, or little museum or  back to my dorm-room.  I don't want to have a meltdown...that'll just embarrass us both and I don't know how my aunt will react.

I am also worried about spending a night in a youth hostel.
It is not the youth hostel in itself, I have stayed in one before when I was on a school trip.  It's just that I'd have to share a room with strangers...in an enclosed area...when I might be feeling ''high strung'' with anxiety from the crowds...I need time to calm down.  

And if we have to go back on monday morning, there is a possibility that I'll be missing lectures.  I do not want to miss lectures.  I love going to my lectures, I have never missed one, nor do I intend to do so unless I'm extremely ill, which even then, I would probably and try to go.  

I know what I'll have to tell her.  I'm just not sure how to tell her, so I'm hoping for some other type of solution.

[raga]

Hmmm, well it would be a shame for you to have to miss what would be an enjoyable trip.  Do you have any more portable methods staying calm?  Have you tried maybe just putting on some headphones, closing your eyes, and listening to some of your favorite music?

[Nick22]

Bring a book or something else  to look while at  the hostelto  occupy your time. at the train station, just keep on moving and don't stop until you are out of the station.. focus on getting from the train to your aunt, if shes picking youup. My advice would be to go on the trip, think of it as an adventure like in a story book.

[The Friendly Sharptooth]

I understand that you don’t want to miss any lectures, but perhaps look at it like this: There will always be lectures to hear. They are extremely common. On the other hand, going on a museum adventure is not something that comes along everyday. I would personally go with the trip. Have you ever seen the new Charlie and Chocolate Factory video? In it, Charlie got the golden ticket and was going to sell it, as his family needed money. What did his grandfather say? “There will always be money; the world is full of it. But there are only five golden tickets in the whole world.” When an uncommon event becomes available, I believe that it would do a person good to take it.

I know how hard it must be to endure so much on the adventure. Stress from big crowds can really be hard on you. But that is what makes an adventure worthwhile. The trials in the process make the reward that much sweeter. You love The Lord of the Rings. Frodo and Sam had to endure many dangers on their journey to destroy the ring. If the journey to destroy it had no dangers, there would have been nothing special about their success. In the end, those hobbits felt so good for achieving victory because they had to endure so much. Hardships make an adventure worthwhile. Maybe think of the people on the train as orcs, and to come out victorious, you must endure their foul presence for the duration. Think of the hotel people as ring wraiths you must avoid to survive. Add some fun and excitement to the travel.

We all must endure difficulties to achieve something great. Jogging for miles is hard and painful, but it strengthens us, and reaching the end feels so good, not only physically, but mentally as well. If everything was easy, we would never learn and grow. Putting up with the discomforts of this journey will make you even stronger. And of course, you get well-rewarded with a nice time in a museum at the end. If you don’t go, you may regret it later. I know you’d have a great time at the museum, so please don’t give it all up because of fear. If you go, while traveling, keep your thoughts on the goal. When I had to get a shot as a child, my mother would tell me that I get a candy bar for going through with it. When I was taken to the doctor, I wouldn’t focus on the shot at all, but thought the whole time about how much I’d enjoy the sweet reward, and that got me through it. If you set your mind to this, I know you can get through it all right.

Just remember that troubles are a part of life. Roads are rarely smooth and obstacle free. If you can get through this, you will be able to do so again and again. You just shouldn’t give up at the first sight of trouble, because then you’ll give up all the time. You’re stronger than you think. I know you can succeed if you try your hardest. A good way to relax at a hotel is to take a nice, long bath. That’s what I do. It clears the sinuses and relaxes the muscles. It’s also a private way to collect your thoughts. So I would consider your options carefully. If Sam and Frodo had been too worried about the risks to bring the ring, middle earth would likely have fallen to Sauron. I would try to ignore the discomfort and just set your eyes on the reward for getting through it- a great time at a place you love. If you want to go, don’t look around you, look ahead.

[Saft]

An iPod could work; as I use that for going through the hall and into the dinning hall and occassionally when I have no choice, I use it for waiting for lectures...I'll have to keep that in mind, it's just that from university experiences, whilst I have an iPod and zone out, I can move and escape away from the crowd..

A book would not work.  I have tried that before, my concentration is not sustained enough with the anxiety level getting increased.  I do keep walking...it's just going through the crowds...and staying in the youth hostel...I can't do that.  I need somewhere to just shut afterwards...

I'll see about the iPod.  I do have ear plugs, but they could prove to be quite dangerous...

[Nick22]

ear plugs aren't dangerous, on the contrary people working in loud areas like say a manufacturing plant, wear them all the time, to protect their hearing. I worked in such a plant during the summer a few years ago, yes the plugs are bit hard to wear at first but after awhile you get used to then, and forget your even wearing them. i would suggest getting some ear plugs and practice wearing them for a bit. after awhile you wion't even notice that they're even there..

[Saft]

Not the ear plugs themselves they work...I refer to circumstances that can be dangerous.

[Nick22]

you just have to keep a close on yiour surroundings.

[Saft]

Anway, I'm not quite sure what to do at the moment.  iPod would be useful, although I'd be bringing that anyway, but i need something long term to prevent anxiety build up.  I don't want to face overload and anxiety meltdown.  
How many people roughly would be on a train ride early on the saturday morning?
I'm just thinking about possible alternatives...ie: going early and leaving later (unless leaving later would mean more people, so when would that be a better time?)

[The Friendly Sharptooth]

Well, if the people cannot be avoided, you could always drink something that has a relaxing effect. I found one site that lists five great, natural drinks that have a soothing effect.

#1. Hot or warm milk. If your nerves are shot and you’re having trouble falling asleep, give this familiar remedy a try. The amino acid tryptophan in milk is what helps relax you. You can add a little honey for a sweet antioxidant boost.

#2. Herbal tea. Eric Yarnell, ND, assistant professor of botanical medicine at Bastyr University in Seattle, recommends teas of catnip, lemon balm, skullcap, passionflower, hops, and/or valerian to help relax. Pick up the raw herbs from an herb seller and steep in hot water at the strength you prefer, or check your favorite market for commercial versions.

#3. Honey-infused tea. If herbal tea doesn’t hit the spot, Yarnell recommends taking any of the aforementioned dried herbs, and infusing them in some honey for two weeks. Steep the herbs in just enough honey to cover. When you’re ready to enjoy a cup, mix 1 tablespoon of the honey/tea mixture into some hot water, hot coconut milk, or hot milk.

#4. Green tea. Green tea has long been touted as a healthy superstar, and stress relief is among its many benefits. That's because it naturally contains theanine, a calming agent. Just make sure you choose decaffeinated tea, so the theanine predominates, says Yarnell.

#5 Oat straw.
If you're more of a shot person versus a tea-sipper, oat straw might be for you. This traditional remedy has long been used for depression and nervous exhaustion. It's not a quick fixóyou'll have to use it for at least a month before it kicks in. It's available where most herbs and natural remedies are sold. Adults can take 1 teaspoon of 1:5 tincture three times a day.

If it's a busy town, it may not be possible to avoid a crowd. I did find another method for relaxing, one that does not involve drinking anything:

When you breathe in, you stimulate your sympathetic (adrenaline-oriented, fight-or-flight) nervous system. When you breathe out, you stimulate your parasympathetic (calming) nervous system. So as an anti-anxiety measure, try what's called the "7-11" breath: breathe in for seven slow counts and then out for eleven slow counts. Try to breathe into your stomach.

Though I do hope that you can find a small group on the train. You may end up sitting next to a very friendly person who will chat with you and get your mind off of things. If not, maybe you could even try starting a conversation with someone. That helps me on plane trips. In any case, I wish you the best.

[Saft]

...
Not going to museum, will be going to another historical site that due to the journey will not be too much, too soon.  Her plan is to slowly build up the trip to go to the museum; but at least we both aren't missing out on some other historical aspect.  I will be using my iPod as suggested previously, it may be a lesser journey and not as much of a crowd but still iPod will be beneficial to have.

[Mirumoto_Kenjiro]

Glad you chose to play it safe.  I personally wouldn't have dared such a trip by myself without some sort of security, even at my age.  Just a car and hotel room would be good with me for a trip like that.

[Paradise Bird]

I think you have to turn down your aunt . It might be too stressful for you and there is always another chance for a trip to the place. On the other hand missing lectures which you enjoy may make you lose out in your learning.