It wasn't my Fault!

[The Friendly Sharptooth]

Today I’m trying something unique again. I know that many people have written six line per verse poems where the odd lines rhyme, but the creativity here is in the patterns I place throughout. Every verse begins with “When.” The second lines always begin with a first person promise, except the last verse. The fifth lines always begin with a second person assurance of being innocent using different wording, save the last verse. The sixth lines are literally the same in all, save the last verse. Every single rhyme is of the long E sound. As you can see, only a few things change in each verse, as I’ve built up a number of walls to confine my writing.

It wasn’t my Fault!

When I had lead that herd away,
I promise I did so blissfully.
When we were victims of attack,
My heart was struck with melancholy.
I say to you, it wasn’t my fault!
Oh woe to one such as me.

When I questioned that young boy,
I promise I did so carefully.
It was my friends who had come along,
And spoke to them all so cruelly.
I assure you, it wasn’t my fault!
Oh woe to one such as me.

When I had coerced my nephew,
I promise I did so pleasantly.
It was he who made his friends angry,
So the blame’s his for departing painfully.
I pledge to you, it wasn’t my fault!
Oh woe to one such as me.

When we took the one who had heard,
I promise I did so very gently.
On her, I wouldn’t allow a bit of harm,
And when she fell, I moaned so ruefully.
I guarantee you, it wasn’t my fault!
Oh woe to one such as me.

When we gave chase to the kids below,
I promise I was dragged so unintentionally.
It was I and I alone who ignored the taunts,
Yet my friends were the ones who rushed angrily.
I swear to you, it wasn’t my fault!
Oh woe to one such as me.

When I at last found the stone,
I promise my intentions flowed positively.
I had the greater good in mind.
I meant not for things to go so dreadfully.
I ensure you, it wasn’t my fault!
Oh woe to one such as me.

When comes the time for you to judge,
Promise to do so considerately.
My heart is noble in every way,
And for good, I acted consistently.
Believe me, nothing was my fault!
Don’t you feel sorry for me?

[Jrd89]

Flyer boy Jared first!  (you knew you were gonna hear from me. I follow ANYTHING flyer related.)

*But, no matter what. I'll still like Rinkus.. He has his funny moments *and a couple mean ones in the movie*..But I love him..he's funny.. he's pink...

And in the fanfiction "Flyers of the Mysterious Beyond.."
we're GREAT friends and he likes me and cares about me , and I trust him and Pterano
(I'm writing exactly what I would say and do if I were a tan rhamphorhynchus who was new to the area, and met Pterano, Rinkus, and Sierra for the first time ever...and got to live with them (along with my green rhamphorhynchus traveling companion Luke,).....

but that's a different story, and it takes place after "Cold Fire"...

Now we're talking about Pterano's events in the movie, here....

Friendly Sharptooth, your poem is very well written and it's true. You captured Pterano's moments in LBT VII wonderfully. I can give Pterano a few things..

Yes, he was first to talk to Littlefoot and ask him where he saw the stone in a smooth way...

but then Sierra flew in saying "Well, now we don't want anyone getting worried now, do we?" and then Rinkus flew in and said "Oh no, no, they might think something awful's happened to you".. and then he started laughing evily... giving away that they were up to no good.

When Ducky fell in the hole, Pterano was very concerned...... Rinkus stuck his head in and said "I can't see a thing, it's way too dark in there."

Sierra didn't even CARE if she died or not. (what a mean, ignorant flyer he is)

When he, Rinkus, and Sierra chased after Littlefoot in the "Can't catch us" river chase scene... Pterano tried to pull away..

*you're right about Rinkus and Sierra rushing after Littlefoot and the gang angrily*

Sierra grabbed Pterano's right wing.. then Rinkus grabbed Pterano's left wing.. and they dragged Pterano along with them... Pterano tried to pull back and break free from Sierra and Rinkus's grasps, but he couldn't get away. He couldn't help that.

So, no, Pterano I say it wasn't entirely your fault... the way you saved Ducky in the end proved that you are good and show concern and care for others.

[jansenov]

You don't have to explain the poem's structure every time. You can let us discover it ourselves. And the pattern in your poem is still rather simple. Simplicity is beautiful, but it can become boring. A boring beauty, like a classicist painting. If you really want something new, try a complex pattern that can be only noticed after a few stanzas. Ever heard drummers from Africa or northern India? At first, it sounds like some random beating. Only after 30 seconds or a minute you start to notice the pattern. Break the limits of the stanza. Only the poem is the limit.

As for Pterano's repentance, the degree of powerlessness that is felt is pretty unusual for someone with such life experience. Leadind a herd into death, blaming his nephew and being unable to control his henchmen show an ambition not supported by proper competence, a degree of childishness, even cowardice.
Maybe it is not his fault, but to someone who doesn't know him it would really sound suspicious that an adult is so powerless over his fate.

I hope my critic wasn't to harsh. It is a good poem, and shows Pterano well. In the second paragraph I was criticising Pterano's personality. I really have to see Stone of Cold Fire, becuase my knowledge of Pterano is limited only to what I read on this forum, and he looks like an interesting character.