THE LAND BEFORE TIME: JOURNEY TO A NEW WORLD

[joshua1127]

Thank you Belmont2500, I am working on 3 chapters 9, 10 and 11 and I am struggling with ideas of what should happen next. but we are doing our best to complete it.   Wish me tripple good luck  

[Salvatore Blackheart]

Good story, my favorite part is the first meeting of littlefoot and the brothers in chapter 3. i can't wait for read the next chapter.

[joshua1127]

I am glad and pleased that you like Vonboy's and I's LBT story I think you'll like chapter 9. I can't tell you what happens nexted it's gonna be a suprise.  

[vonboy]

I'll just say that I've been enjoying collaborating with you on this story. I've never done a group project like this before. It's been a lot of fun.

And it's good to hear people are reading it and liking it, thanks guys.

[joshua1127]

I am completely pleased Vonboy and I am glad that it's fun for you. It's been fun for me too.  

I am still thinking and still working on the chapters still and I think it's gonna be a great success don't you think?  

[vonboy]

Can't believe it's been almost a month since the last chapter :blink:  Both me and Joshua have been pretty busy, and we've had to talk back and forth quite a bit for this chapter, since we were both looking for ideas. I think chapter 9 is ready to show now, so I'll just post it. I hope Joshua doesn't mind me posting it this time

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Chapter 9: The General's Chat

Littlefoot, his Grandparents, Chomper, and the humans were in their little circle for several minutes, discussing about General Young's strange change of behavior. The group finally broke up, and Alan turned to face the general. "Explain yourself!"

The General cleared his throat, stalling for time, then he started on his explanation. "Our Reactions on Littleneck..." "My name is Littlefoot!" The little longneck corrected the General. "sorry, Now where was I? Oh Yes; Our reactions on Littlefoot may have gotten a little out of hand..."

"Out of hand!?" Jay began. "look General, I don't know if We should trust you or not, but what ever it is you are plotting against these two apatosaurs or longnecks as they call themselves, and this little...tyr...sharptooth, they will give you a lot of severe damage if you go through with it!" Jay Threatened.
The General got up, crossed his arms and scowled at them. Grandpa and Grandma Longneck glared at the general from eye to eye, but from a far distance. The General then grunted in fustration, knowing that he couldnl't possibly control Littlefoot's grandparents.

Chomper got curious when the general kept looking behind him. Chomper sniffed the air with his sniffer. He got a very strange smeel through his sniffer. Strange to a sharptooth at least. He looked far in the distance and spotted a shining object. Chomper realized that the general was not alone. "I don't trust this...whatever he calls himself." Chomper piped in. "I don't think he's alone."
The General got up and was about run, but he decided not to. He said "Now let's not start anything irrational!"

"Better be sure!" Grandpa Longneck grumbled closely at General Young.
General Young backed off to get some personal space. Littlefoot asked. "what do you want from me?"

General Young popped his neck, got a little smile on his face and continued.

[The General's Rap Song]

(General Young): 1, 2, 3, 4 Now our plan is pure and simple. We plan to use your device that the boys used with disobedients! But I must confess you twin boys are pure geniuses!

(Alan) If your talking about the time lazer, we refuse!

(General Young) Refusing will not work around me. I just might have do a number on you!

Alan punched the general, and he fell on his back.

(Jay) So saying that you might have to do some damage on us. I think it's the other way around. It sounds like your planning to make time go topsy turvy!

General Young got up with a black eye.

(General Young) Topsy Turvy is only child's stuff!!! but our plan is pure and simple. We plan to use your device that the boys used with disobedients, but I must confess you twin boys are pure geniuses!

(Chomper) I just don't get you General. Your just talking like a sharptooth! so what is your plan?

(General Young) The plan is pure and simple Chomper tooth. We plan to use your device that the boys used with disobedients. but I must confess the twin boys are pure geniuses they brought you here in the 21st-

The General could continue no longer, for the massive tail of one Grandpa Longneck had knocked the wind out of him.

"Are you trying to stop the General from playing out his plan, Grandpa?" Littlefoot asked.

"No, I just had to make that annoying little thing shut his mouth!" Grandpa replied.

"Thanks! I was about to do something myself." Alan said.

The other soldiers retreated with their leader when Grandpa Longneck tail whipped General Young. Grandpa longneck laughed. "They are just a bunch of cowards!"

That Night, me and Jay went right on back to work on the Time Lazer while the dinosaurs were resting. we were both getting very droopy but we couldn't sleep because of Littlefoot's grandparent's loud snoring, or sleep rumbles as they called it. After a long night, the time lazer was finished. When we were ready to go to bed, 3 animals appeared. Janice the zebra, Elvis the Chimpanzee and Bo the antelope.

Littlefoot felt the breathing of Janice and he woke up. "Hello Littlefoot." Janice smiled and blinked her eyes. "Janice, Elvis, Bo what are you doing here?"

We heard the 3 animals talking to Littlefoot but we couldn't understand them at all because we were too sleepy. We both hit the grown, and went right into a deep sleep. Not even Grandpa Longnecks sleep rumbles could keep us up at that point.

The Next morning me, Jay and Robert woke up and heard Littlefoot, Chomper and the Grandparents talking with the animals.

"So, the humans captured you as well?" Grandma Longneck questioned in worriness.

"Um...no. Our parents were captured by the humans and we were born and raised in that zoo as well." said Janice.

"We are used to the humans thanks to your grandson." said Elvis.

We started to realize that the dinosaurs could communicate with the animals and We were impressed. we couldn't understand animals, we could only understand the dinosaurs.

We announced that morning that The Time Lazer was finally completed. Everyone cheered, Even the 3 animals, who didn't really know what was going on. we decided to run a few tests on it first to make sure it was working wight.

I picked up the Time Lazer, and pressed the red button on the side. Everyone, including me, were in for quite a shock...

[trulyfantasticme]

nice story, you two! Give yourselves a pat on the back!

[joshua1127]

Chapter 10: Return to the Great Valley

As we and the group of dinosaurs headed back to the past, they noticed that Cera, Ducky, Petrie, Spike and Ruby were standing right in front of them. The kids who were left behind were overjoyed to see Littlefoot and Chomper back and well. The Gang was together again.
They quickly realized that they were back in the Great Valley. Littlefoot was overjoyed to be reunited with his friends and family again. The grandparents thanked us for our genius hard work. Littlefoot's friends went over to Janice, Elvis and Bo, looking confused. Cera asked "What kind of Dinosaurs are you?" Janice questions "what's a dinosaur?" "You don't know what dinosaur is?" Petrie asks, "Nope" Elvis answers "This is just a surprise to see more than one up close. Your friend Littlefoot here is the first one we ever met."
The other adults arrived on the scene, as the animals from the future were questioned by the curious dinosaurs. So many questions were asked, that the three animals grew tired of answering them all, and decided to take a break.

One thing no one noticed was another human that somehow stowed away on the trip through time. He quietly sneaked off to the side into some dense foliage.
That night, At the Great Meeting Circle, Littlefoot told the story about his journey to a new world. Cera was annoyed that she said, "We had to stay in this boring valley while the longneck went on an adventure!" Petrie was relieved he didn't go. "Sounds scary!" Ducky was relieved that Littlefoot was back, and that no one was hurt. Spike was more interested in a pile of treestars. Ruby said "Sounds a little like an adventure I had myself in the Mysterious Beyond!" All the same, they were all fascinated the tale, except maybe Spike. Most of the adults were there too, listening to the story. Me, Jay and Robert stayed for the meeting, commenting on Littlefoot's story, and telling parts of the story from our points of view.

As Littlefoot finished his epic, it started to rain heavily. The dinosaurs called it the days of rising water. the meeting was still going on. Me, Jay and Robert went under Grandpa Longneck to stay dry. Mr. Clubtail showed up with the fossilized Tyrannosaur skull and I was surprised to see it again. We didn't say a word about it because we didn't know if that could mess up history or not.
The next morning after the meeting, Littlefoot and his friends showed us the majestic view of the Great Valley, from a very tall cliff at one side of the immense valley. Everyone was relaxing, enjoying the sights, when suddenly The General jumped out of a bush. He pulled a pistol out of his pants, and pointed it at me.
"Hand over the Time Lazer!" The General threatened. "Who are you?" Ruby asked.
The General takes a shot at Ruby, but the bullet darts in between her legs. The gunshot was heard from across the valley. Littlefoot's grandparents recognized that sound. "The General in the Great Valley?" Grandma Longneck exclaimed. "We must warn the others!" said Grandpa Longneck.
Cera charges at the General and knocked him to the ground. The general kicked Cera off of him. I tried to pounce on him but the General rolled over and quickly got back up. The General gave 3 punches on me on the sides. Thinking quickly my brother punched General Russell Young under his chin. The General was still standing, he held his mouth and he spits out a bloody tooth. The General growled and punched Jay in the stomach. It was so painful that Jay went on his knees.

The General picked up the pistol and pointed it at Jay's forehead. "Give Me the Time Lazer now or you're finished!" he threatens.
Chomper growled and chomped down on General Russell Young's Leg. The General cried out in pain while trying to shake the little sharptooth off. Littlefoot then pounced on him and stomps on him with all his strength, knocking the wind out of the old general. He grabs Littlefoot's Neck and strangles him. Robert punched him on the side that he lets go of Littlefoot. I pounced on General Young and I punched him a lot. With one Hard Punch General Young blocked it and headbutted me. I slipped, and almost fell off the edge of the cliff. I grabbed the edge, as everyone else looked at him in helplessness. The General walked up close to the edge and said "You're finished!" When General Russell was about to finish me off Littlefoot charged towards him from behind.

[joshua1127]

Vonboy and I are almost finished with this LBT story and chapter 11, the final chapter is still being worked on.

What do you think of chapter 10, so far?

[vonboy]

Yeah, I hope we can get it done and posted sometime next week.

Also, just for a little fun, here's the chapter 10 that Joshua wrote before I edited it.

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Cera, Ducky, Petrie, Spike and appeared infront of them. At first They were very happy to see Littlefoot again.

They quickly realized that they were back in the Great Valley. The grandparents thanked The Texan Brothers for there geinus hard work. However Littlefoot's friends went over to Janice, Elvis and Bo and Cera asked. "What kind of Dinosaurs are you?" Janice questions "what's a dinosaur?" "you don't know what dinosaur is" Petrie asks, "Nope" Elvis answers "this is just a suprise to see more then one up close, Your friend Littlefoot is the first one we met"

the grown ups arrived and the animals were now into it now. they asked the animals the questions and they were getting tired of answering so they just took a long break.

At night, Littlefoot was sure happy to be reunited with his friends again that he told his story about his journey to a new world. they were sure fasinated by it and I couldn't blame him that he met me, Jay and Robert.

All of a sudden it started to rain heavily, which the dinosaurs call it the days of rising water. the meeting was still going we went under Grandpa Longneck to stay dry and then Mr. Clubtail showed up with the fossilized Tyrannosaur skull/the stone sharptooth skull way to and I was suprised to see it again.
We didn't say a word about it cause it might ruin history.

After the meeting Littlefoot and his friends showed us the great view of the Great Valley but suddenly The General Appeared with a pistol in his hand pointing at Alan.

"Hand over the Time Lazer" The General Growls and threatens. "who are you?" Ruby asked.

The General fires at Ruby but the bullet hit in between her legs. the gun fire sound was heard from a mile away and Littefoot's grandparents recognized that sound. "The General in Great Valley?" Grandma Longneck says in shock. "We must warn the others" said Grandpa Longneck.

Cera charges at the General and the General fell to the ground. He kicked Cera off of him and I pounced on him but the General flips flipped. Me and The general got up and the General punched me 3 times on the sides. Thinking quickly I punched General Russel Young under his chin. The General was still standing. He held his mouth and he spits out a bloody tooth I was suprised about that. The General growls and punched Me in the stomach. It was painful that I went on my knees.
He picked up the pistol and points it at my forhead. "Give Me the Time Lazer now or you are finished!" he chuckled crazily.

Chomper growls and he bites General Russel Young's Leg. The General tries shaking him off. But then Littlefoot pounced on him and He stomps on him with all his strength. The General grabs Littlefoot's Neck and strangles him. I punched him on the side that he lets go of Littlefoot. I punched General Young a lot.
With one Hard Punch General Young blocks it and headbutts him. I slipped and the General came close and sayed "You're finished." "I'm not finished you are!" Littlefoot Charges at the General and headbutts him. The General loses his balance and he fell over the edge of the cliff. He grapped my leg; Littlefoot grabes my sleeve with his mouth but sinces it was raining he struggles to pull Alan up...

(He wrote some more stuff after this, but I cut it off here for a cliff hanger.)

[joshua1127]

Yeah, I hope we can get it done and posted sometime next week.

Also, just for a little fun, here's the chapter 10 that Joshua wrote before I edited it.

-----------------------

Cera, Ducky, Petrie, Spike and appeared infront of them. At first They were very happy to see Littlefoot again.

They quickly realized that they were back in the Great Valley. The grandparents thanked The Texan Brothers for there geinus hard work. However Littlefoot's friends went over to Janice, Elvis and Bo and Cera asked. "What kind of Dinosaurs are you?" Janice questions "what's a dinosaur?" "you don't know what dinosaur is" Petrie asks, "Nope" Elvis answers "this is just a suprise to see more then one up close, Your friend Littlefoot is the first one we met"

the grown ups arrived and the animals were now into it now. they asked the animals the questions and they were getting tired of answering so they just took a long break.

At night, Littlefoot was sure happy to be reunited with his friends again that he told his story about his journey to a new world. they were sure fasinated by it and I couldn't blame him that he met me, Jay and Robert.

All of a sudden it started to rain heavily, which the dinosaurs call it the days of rising water. the meeting was still going we went under Grandpa Longneck to stay dry and then Mr. Clubtail showed up with the fossilized Tyrannosaur skull/the stone sharptooth skull way to and I was suprised to see it again.
We didn't say a word about it cause it might ruin history.

After the meeting Littlefoot and his friends showed us the great view of the Great Valley but suddenly The General Appeared with a pistol in his hand pointing at Alan.

"Hand over the Time Lazer" The General Growls and threatens. "who are you?" Ruby asked.

The General fires at Ruby but the bullet hit in between her legs. the gun fire sound was heard from a mile away and Littefoot's grandparents recognized that sound. "The General in Great Valley?" Grandma Longneck says in shock. "We must warn the others" said Grandpa Longneck.

Cera charges at the General and the General fell to the ground. He kicked Cera off of him and I pounced on him but the General flips flipped. Me and The general got up and the General punched me 3 times on the sides. Thinking quickly I punched General Russel Young under his chin. The General was still standing. He held his mouth and he spits out a bloody tooth I was suprised about that. The General growls and punched Me in the stomach. It was painful that I went on my knees.
He picked up the pistol and points it at my forhead. "Give Me the Time Lazer now or you are finished!" he chuckled crazily.

Chomper growls and he bites General Russel Young's Leg. The General tries shaking him off. But then Littlefoot pounced on him and He stomps on him with all his strength. The General grabs Littlefoot's Neck and strangles him. I punched him on the side that he lets go of Littlefoot. I punched General Young a lot.
With one Hard Punch General Young blocks it and headbutts him. I slipped and the General came close and sayed "You're finished." "I'm not finished you are!" Littlefoot Charges at the General and headbutts him. The General loses his balance and he fell over the edge of the cliff. He grapped my leg; Littlefoot grabes my sleeve with his mouth but sinces it was raining he struggles to pull Alan up...

(He wrote some more stuff after this, but I cut it off here for a cliff hanger.)

  Well.... I write a lot to get better at writting stories and when ever I get done with a chapter on the LBT story I let Vonboy proof read it.  
 
Now I am allowing Vonboy to write the final chapter, chapter 11. I think you all will like the whole story.    

[Mumbling]

This fanfiction has been nominated by its author to be rated for the fanfiction awards 2011. To all the readers and fans of this fanfiction, please rate and review it!

[joshua1127]

Chapter 11: The Ending

On the very high cliff, I was dangling by his fingers, with the General now holding onto my leg. "I'm not finished you are!" I yelled out to General Young. Suddenly, part of my pants ripped from my leg, and the General plummeted a thousand feet down to his death. As his screams for help faded away, I started to slip myself. Littlefoot quickly bit onto my hand to try to pull me back up, but it wasn't enough. me and Littlefoot both fell over the edge.
It looked as if all was lost, when Granma Longneck ran over just in time to gently grab the dinosaur and the human in mid-air. As she slowly laid us down on the ground, everyone else made their way down the cliff to meet up with them.

"I'm so glad to see all of you little one's safe" Grandma Longneck spoke up.
"We came as soon as we heard the General making that...sound that he makes."
"It's called a gunshot." I piped up.

"Where is the general now?" Grandma Longneck prodded.
Littlefoot lowered his head and said. "Well, he fell off a very high cliff. I don't think he could have made it." Littlefoot felt a little sorry for the General. He always did when anyone died, even a bad person.

"At least he can't bother us anymore!" Jay said.

As everyone took a moment to take a breather from all that had just happened, more of the adults of the Great Valley congregated at the scene. Any action in the Great Valley attracted attention, since the valley was usually such a quiet and peaceful place. Everyone there didn't know what to think of the action they experienced. The prehistoric denizens never heard a gunshot before.
Grandpa Longneck replied, "Please everyone! Please calm down!!!" and they all remained silent. "I have seen this happen before by the humans when they tried to kill us. Those...bullets have no effect on us though. They are small, and they just bounce off of our skin. At least we won't hear from them again. We now know that not all humans are bad.

"That's right!" Chomper spoke up. "They aren't all bad, just like not all sharpteeth are bad!"

"That is very true, Chomper" Grandpa continued. "They are animals like we are. They have good sides and bad sides!"

The dinosaurs all looked at, Robert, Jay, me and the other Zoo animals that came along. Littlefoot came up to me and said "I want to say thank you for bringing me back!" "you're Welcome Littlefoot” I replied.
Littlefoot noticed now that I looked quite sad. "Why are you so sad, Alan?"
"Because this is where this is where we say our good bye!" I reported.
"Why?" Littlefoot asked.
 
"Littlefoot...let's just say that there won't be anyone to bother you anymore!"

"But Alan!..."
 
I gave a long sigh. "No buts Littlefoot, I can't be with you anymore. You belong here, with your family, and all of your friends. I...don't belong here."
Littlefoot broke a tear and rubbed his head on Alan's legs. "I am gonna miss you too much!"

I broke a tear as well, but remained calm. "We are all going miss you too. Littlefoot, we both live in two different centuries we live in the 21st century and you live here in Mesozoic world.” I rubbed my eyes and continued, “You are a longneck, if we took you back they’ll be others in our time that'll take you back to the zoo. We can't let you come the 21st century. It is no place for a dinosaur like you. It's just too dangerous for you."

Littlefoot understood, but that didn't stop the tears from streaming down his face. "Don't forget about us!" littlefoot sobbed.

I put my hand on Littlefoot's head and said. "We won't forget about you, we promise!"
Janice, Elvis and Bo went up to him and Janice said. "Farewell Littlefoot!"
"You were great kid!" said Elvis.
"We won't forget about you or this adventure you gave us!" Bo added in.
As we and the animals prepared to go back to their time, they looked back at the huge group of dinosaurs seeing them off. We paid special attention to Littlefoot.

Before I pressed the button on the Time Lazer, I called out to the little longneck one last time. "Well, who knows? We just might decide to come back sometime!". With that, We and the zoo animals disappeared instantly, leaving behind an empty and barren patch of ground.
Chomper walked up to Littlefoot, and tried to comfort him with a brotherly hug. Littlefoot thought about the last thing that Alan said. Would they perhaps come back someday? It was anyone's guess, but Littlefoot wanted to believe that they would.

THE END

[vonboy]

I wrote the beginning and the ending of this chapter, but got writer's block, so I sent it to Joshua. He wrote the middle, and posted it.

[vonboy]

Looking back on this story, I see how badly it was written lol. I get what Pterano said about that aspect of it. I'm sorry Joshua, as some of that was my fault. I didn't really proofread this as much as I should have. Whatever I sent to you, you seemed happy with, so I just kept it up like that

Also, Joshua kept writing in first person (mostly), and I preferred third person, so I would try to rewrite his chapters in third person if I could. Some of this is in first person though. REALLY messy how that turned out, and in hindsight, it looks really bad. In the end, I guess we jsut didn't collaborate on it very good.

The story itself though is still really good. I liked all human characters Joshua made up for it. As far as the story goes, my only real contribution was making Chomper a major part of it.

Would you ever want to write another LBT story, Joshua?

[joshua1127]

Hi Everyone!    I have just now re-written the story with the first person's point of view (Alan Texan) and it's now completley finished !! what do either you think of it now? and are your favorite parts in the story?

[joshua1127]

Hello Everyone  

Me and Vonboy would like to have new members to read our LBT story and we are hoping you will enjoy it  

[Petrie85]

If you guys do write a new one I will read it.

[joshua1127]

I have been thinking about mailing the LBT story copie to The Universal Animation Studios.

plus I've been thinking of adding illustrations to the LBT story too

do either of you have any honest suggestions?

[Pterano]

^ As a rule, big studios generally have a policy where they simply throw out any story ideas, plot ideas, character ideas, etc. They don't want to risk legal battles with the original creator, and most studios will outright state this on their personal websites. They can't know which fan is sincere and which is out to make the quick buck, so they treat all fan submissions the same.

Pictures are probably a good idea. They always enhance stories in my opinion.