Do you have any suggestions for Twilight Valley? What do you want changed?
Wow this is a very big question, but I'm glad you asked it.
If I was writing Twilight Valley I would probably proceed like this:
1) Now that Mr. Threehorn is rightfully the General of the Great Valley the first thing he should do is organize their ground forces. Up to this point groups have been sort of "you, you, and you come with me we are going to attack", as well as a few organized patrols. He should maximize the effectiveness of their army by only grouping members of a single species together, preferably close family, in groups of a set number (say 6 or 8). This is a very "Topsyish" idea, but historical examples prove that it can work, just like the Roman Phalanx, who would compose each line of men from a similar homecity to envolk a "bond of brothers" that wouldn't be there if they all came from different places.
2) To this point the war has fought mostly involving Fast-runners, Swimmers, and friendly Fast-biters. While this makes sense from the point of view of they can wield weapons, it also fails to truely take advantage of the Great Valleys strength - namely it's large leaf-eaters. When it comes to close combat I can see Threehorns being the most useful, due to their naturally well armoured form, while fast-runners would be great in a supporting role due to their speed (ie as Cavalry charging the flanks). Again, this touches on Topsy's "Racial Ranks" idea, but it would most certainly prove itself in battle.
3) Excidium hasn't been mentioned in a while, so we not only don't really hate him but we have also nearly forgotten about him. We also haven't heard from his "Special Forces" since two of them were defeated in a sneaking mission into the Valley. If Excidium's "Stalkers" are an important part of his army, they should be taking a more direct role in bringing about the end of the Great Valley. Ms. Maia is an important and well developed villian, but in the big picture of things she is little more then an annoying henchwoman in the greater scheme. It would truely be evil if Excidium chopped up the Stone of Cold Fire, gave a fragment to each of his lieutenants, and had them use it to resserect dead sharpteeth on the battlefield (maybe even have them come back as "Reborn" even better then they were in life).
I hope you don't take these suggestions as criticisms, because the story is really good so far and has remained interesting since I started reading it. Just a few little tweaks here and there, as well as getting the plot ball rolling again and it would turn out awesome!
Caustizer.
