What the Great Valley Means

[The Friendly Sharptooth]

Deep within the mighty walls of the Great Valley bright
There is room for everyone to bask in all its light.
Beautiful flowers,
Enjoying the hours,
Oh, what a place to see!
It will always be the home,
Of my loved ones and me.

The Great Valley
Oh, it shall be,
The place where I shall die.
This troubling place,
Is survival’s race,
And I keep wondering why.
There is nothing special about this spot,
And I’m not with the greatest lot.
And gee, the days can be so hot!
And though I can say much, much more,
I haven’t the time. I hear a sharptooth’s roar!

Not a lucky home at all!
It scary each and every day.
Always bump, crash, trip, and fall.
What more there is to say?

Yes, oh yes, this place will do.
The waters rise and fall.
I am happy. I am loved.
My joy will only rise.
With food to eat all around,
My hunger always falls.
I want nothing here to change.
Let life go straight ahead.

Uh…
Eh?
Romps.
Chomps.

“Very good, you’re each a talented kid!”
All of their faces blushed, so all they hid.
Mr. Thicknose ended his lesson then,
Yet they all wanted to go again!
“That is all for today,” he confirmed.
But all the kids in eagerness squirmed.
They had enjoyed this day’s teaching much.
And therefore wanted to make more of such.
But he was quite tired, so home he sent,
And to share the day, they agreed and went.
Getting home, they had much to say:
They had learned to make poems today!

[Vilstrup]

It is a very good poem.... structured, nice rimes. I liked the first part. but then, you began to confuse me a bit

The next part seems to talk about a dinosaur, wanting to go to the Great Valley, but is still in the mysterious beyond. However, I had the original thought that the poem would be from the perspective of dinosaurs living in the Great Valley, and saying what the valley means to them. But showing us, that it also is a tale giving hope to other dinosaurs, who haven't found the valley yet, was a nice touch.

However, the ending, I'm a bit disapproving of...
You show us, what the Great Valley means to the inhabitants and the dinosaurs in the mysterious beyond... however, you suddenly change the subject of the poem from the Greavt Valley, to instead, the education of the kids. It seemed more to me, that you tried to just get an ending that "might" work, instead of an ending that kept faith to the subject of the matter.

Still, it was an enjoyable read, so keep going

[trulyfantasticme]

Awww, it's always good to love your home, now isn't it? Awesome poem, Micheal! I love how descriptive you were.

And that reminds me, you wanna skype sometime, it's been a while.   Maybe tonight or tomorrow night?

[The Friendly Sharptooth]

"It is a very good poem.... structured, nice rimes. I liked the first part. but then, you began to confuse me a bit.

The next part seems to talk about a dinosaur, wanting to go to the Great Valley, but is still in the mysterious beyond. However, I had the original thought that the poem would be from the perspective of dinosaurs living in the Great Valley, and saying what the valley means to them. But showing us, that it also is a tale giving hope to other dinosaurs, who haven't found the valley yet, was a nice touch.

However, the ending, I'm a bit disapproving of...
You show us, what the Great Valley means to the inhabitants and the dinosaurs in the mysterious beyond... however, you suddenly change the subject of the poem from the Greavt Valley, to instead, the education of the kids. It seemed more to me, that you tried to just get an ending that "might" work, instead of an ending that kept faith to the subject of the matter."

I will do my best to explain. Each part IS from the perspectives of dinosaurs living in the Great Vallery, and they ARE saying what it means to them, nothing more, nothing less. None of the speakers are in the Mysterious Beyond, and the Mysterious Beyond is unrelated to the poem. Each speaker was a member of the gang of five. By shifting the styles, it was designed to have readers wonder what was going on, but the ending was supposed to reveal that Mr. Thicknose was teaching the kids how to make poetry, and so each one was from a different kid. Littlefoot made the first one, then Cera, then Petrie, then Ducky, then Spike made one. The subject didn't change. It was always that Mr. Thicknose tried to:

1. Get the kids to express themselves, and

2. Teach them about poetry.

The focus was the exact same throughout; I simply didn't reveal it until the end. A member suggested in an earlier poem of mine that I shouldn't explain my poems from the start, but it looks like it would be for the best to go back to doing so.

[Vilstrup]

The focus was the exact same throughout; I simply didn't reveal it until the end. A member suggested in an earlier poem of mine that I shouldn't explain my poems from the start, but it looks like it would be for the best to go back to doing so.

Not necessaily... I just think you jumped from one subject (what the Great Valley means) to another subject (the education of the kids).
Usually, an author tends to stay true to their main title when it comes to poems. Though there are cases when a poem is about one thing, and has an obscure title.

Besides, a poem can be interpreted in many ways. The author in one way, and the readers will have there own versions. You wanna change that, you need to cut it out for them... and then your poems becomes boring

[The Friendly Sharptooth]

Not everything can be interpreted in multiple ways. I can’t look at a red apple and say that I see it as green and triangular. I have written gray works, and I have written black and white works. If something can be taken multiple ways, then it would be impossible for me to explain in the first place. Mr. Thicknose was getting the kids to express what the Great Valley means to them by teaching them about poetry. Nothing jumped, nothing shifted, nothing changed. Something can be done to get something else accomplished, and that was the focus from beginning to end. It was always about what the valley meant, and it was always done by teaching the kids about poetry. I am afraid that thread title boxes do not allow room for titles like, “What the Great Valley Means, Something Taught Through the Use of Poetry by Mr. Thicknose to the Children Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie, and Spike.” I cannot cover every single significant detail of a poem in the title. Furthermore, I would rather be boring than misunderstood. My English teacher doesn’t care how bored we are with our reading assignments as long as we understand the material. I try to be interesting, but comprehension is a higher priority.