I've said this once, so I'll say it again: Mis-formation, bad punctuation, and just general, uh, sloppy paragraph forming can (and does) ruin an otherwise good fanfiction. Since I'm hot off of the heels of English in School today, here's how I would have written that:
A Hard Hot Time.
Chapter 1
It was a hot, sunny day. The gang was playing tag around a mudpool. During the middle of the game, Littlefoot became "it." He soon tagged Jerry [lack of information on new character presented in story nooted]. Afterwards, Jerry [I assume, since the context implies it was Littlefoot, instead] said, "Stop, Littlefoot! It's too hot!"
Littlefoot replied back, "Mmm. Yes, it's very hot the last time."
Cera joined in, "What are you guys talking about? It's not so hot. So, lets go! Jerry is it!"
Petrie also replied, "Me think Jerry is right. It is too hot!"
The days passed by. Soon, it really was too hot. The gang was drinking at the river.... Ducky was swimming around.
"It is so hot that the river is nearly dried up! Yep, yep, yep!" Jerry replied back, "This can't be good! Mabey we should warn the grown-ups. What do you think, Littlefoot?"
Littlefoot answered, "I agree."
Ducky replied again, "It is better that we warn them, yep, yep, yep!"
Petrie threw in his two cents, as well, "Me think yes."
Jerry asked, "What you think, Cera?"
She didn't reply.
"CERA?!"
I assume that this was a test chapter of sorts, because it was sure too short of a chapter for me.
EDIT: Invisionfree chewed up my neat line spacing. Click "Quote" on my post to get a better look at it.