So I have to tell you all.... the absolute worst thing evah happened to me today. It really has just broke my heart into half a million little pieces
But before I go on, I must tell you the story behind my lamentable tale. Otherwise it hardly makes any sense at all.
*ahem ahem ahem
It was three weeks ago maybe that the United Kingdom held its elections for Parliament seats and, more importantly, the prime minister ship. My friend (from the UK) who is especially keen on politics was quite up to date on the votes and the ridings and the predictions and such and such. I decided to challenge her and her wisdom by placing a bet on whether or not the resulting government would be a majority (Conservative) or minority. I bet majority.
Needless to say, I lost.
"What would you like?" I said to her afterwards.
"Cheese." she said. "Specifically, I would really like some Canadian cheddar"
It sounded crazy sure, but it was just about nutty enough for me to be absolutely ecstatic about mailing her the goods. I had never once mailed something so ridiculous in my life. This was going to be an adventure, I could tell.
Of course cheese is a foodstuff, and so there were likely to be rules regarding the shipment of such a package. I resolved to check with the post office the following day so as to ensure the successful mailing of my cheese.
I head to the post office the following afternoon, and saunter up to the service counter.
"Excuse me," I say in my most official and important of voices to the woman at the counter "but can you mail cheese from Canada to the United Kingdom?"
"Cheese?" she looked at me, incredulous. "You know, I really am not sure. You know what I could do though? I could look it up."
She ducks beneath the counter for a moment, and returns with the largest honkin' binder I have ever seen in my life.
"The UK?" she asks.
"Yes." I reply.
What followed was a silent 10 minutes as I watched the woman leaf impatiently through the binder of massive proportions. Finally, she perked up.
"Well, it seems you can't send meat or animal products, but does that include cheese?"
Still hopeful, I responded with the most naive of statements
"I dunno."
At this, a man emerges from the break room door. He looks at me, and then to her, and is quick to note that
The Binder has been removed from its shelf-home.
"Oh boy, you got
The Binder out, eh? Whatcha lookin' for?"
"Cheese." the woman says. "She wants to know if she can mail cheese to the United Kingdom."
He scans the page we had been reading.
"Well y'know, it doesn't say anything about cheese, so it's definitely a go."
"I can mail cheese to the United Kingdom!?!?" I was getting excited now.
"Yes" they say in unison. "You may mail cheese to the United Kingdom."
Overjoyed, I hopped and skipped and whistled a happy tune all the way home. I bought my cheese, wrapped it up, and got prepared to send it off. Wouldn't my friend be so impressed that I actually mailed her cheese?!? This was going to be the coolest thing I had ever done in my life.
I arrive at a post office, a different one this time as the mail is picked up earlier at that location, and get ready to ship off the stuff.
She weighs the package and says "You're overweight, but just by a bit. If we took off just a little bit I could make this a whole lot cheaper."
I was not about to give up any of the cheese I had so proudly gathered.
"No," I said. "It's cheese, I can't break it apart. Charge me the whole shebang"
"Okay." she rings it up and gives me a price. She pauses.
"You know, I don't think you can mail cheese."
"Oh no. I'm certain you can. I checked."
"All right then. I'll just call a UK post office and make sure."
And so she calls. We were on hold for 20 minutes until someone answered the phone on the other end- in the UK.
She gives me the most dismal of looks.
"No, you may not mail cheese unless it's going to a company."
And that was that. My adventure, my extraordinary feat of daring, the sure to become legend Mailing of the Cheese, was over.
And that was probably the absolute worst thing evah.
Anyways, after that fiasco, I figured to make this thing into a topic. So feel free to post your unfortunate happenings here! A group counselling/crying session is supposed to help you feel better faster I've heard. So good things may come out of this yet
