The Gang of Five
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Dog Diary vs. Cat Diary

General Grievous

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SOmeone sent me this thing in an email.  :lol  :lol

Excerpts from a Dog's diary:

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!



Excerpts from a Cat's diary:

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time......

 Cats are pure EVIL:lol


Vaan360

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Thanks for sharing it with us :^.^: , and yeah cats are pure evil :lol  :lol  :lol


Kor

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Cancerian Tiger

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That is hilarious and would probably be true if cats and dogs kept diaries :lol.  BTW, I am a cat lover and love dogs just as much, so I don't see cats as evil :wub:.  Then again, that's your opinion :yes.


Malte279

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That was a good one :lol
I suppose I would rather have a cat than a dog, but then again I'm also very fond of the informant in the metal room and wouldn't risk both. For the time being I cannot afford either.


Drake

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I'm more fond of cats then dogs, not that I don't like them, but having a cat would suit me better.

I thought the dog diary was more, or less accurate, but it should have included something about sleeping.  :lol



landbeforetimelover

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My teacher actually read this in class.  It's only funny when he acts it out. :lol There's no way I can laugh at just reading stuff after that funny guy came into my life and acted it all out for me. :p