The Gang of Five
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Return to the Valley

Ratiasu

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This is a story I've been working on for the past week or so. Currently all I have done is the first chapter, but I'd like you to read it and get your opinions on it before I write more. The main characters are the two Rainbowfaces from LBT7, and it takes place 70 years after that movie. Granted, not all of the gang of five is going to make an appearence...I mean, I haven't watched LBT or any of its sequels for a long time, so you might as well call the ones in this story 'my versions' of them. I would like to know what you think about the characters and such. This is just the rough draft. In any case, yes, the first chapter. The : indicates telepathy...and no, you're not supposed to know who Sarkkhan or the Council of Three are.


A beam of bright azure and hot white light interrupted the evening silence surrounding the lush, sleeping valley. Thousands of miles above the green and blue planet, Lyoko and Sabin were fitted with their U.T.’s – small devices placed under the skin of the scalp which could translate any language into their own – and, bidding their space-faring command center farewell with a wave of their scaly, pale green and tan arms, stood at the edge of the portal where the transmission beam was broadcasting and peered down at the planet below them, Lyoko’s expression jaded, her brother’s one of enthrallment and hyperactivity.

:Can you imagine how much they’ve grown since we last came here?: He telepathized, turning his saurian, rainbow-colored snout to his older sister. :I do hope there are some remnants of that intuitive little sauropod and his comrades we were acquainted with last time!:
Lyoko fixed him with her cold pink eyes. She had developed different glares to get different desired effects, and the one she was giving him now meant that he was forgetting to do something. Sabin couldn’t figure it out, so Lyoko clarified verbally. But her adopted Troodon vocal chords could only make growls and grunts, which were translated by the U.T.’s as a sort of after-talk in his head.

“Sabin, refrain from tarnishing the rules this time. You are lucky the Council of Three didn’t disengage you from your post. It would be best if you kept quiet this time – you never did quite get mouthing along with your telepathy. I’m surprised the dinosaurs didn’t figure it out, moronic as they are…”
Lyoko had a talent for dampening one’s excitement, and this time it was no exception. Sabin furrowed his brow with what little facial muscles Troodon’s had and they both stepped onto the small levitating gray platform that would carry them down to Earth.

When it hovered a few inches off the ground, the two aliens currently inhabiting the Troodon formosus bodies stepped onto solid ground for the first time in seventy years. Sabin actually stumbled, not used to walking on two legs. Lyoko acted as if she had been in this body all her life, stepping off the platform with such a grace it made giraffes seem like bumbling rhinoceros. And for the first time, Sabin studied her intently, or rather the body she now inhabited. Everything about it was long. Her tail was half of the entire seven-foot body length. Lyoko was no larger than a man now, her arms were strong and the five-fingered hands had partially opposable thumbs. A small deadly looking sickle-shaped claw was upraised on the foot, and had detached muscle ligaments from the rest of the foot so it could move independently. During and before the long trip to Earth, Sabin had guessed it was used to disembowel, but Lyoko had told him that he was foolish for coming upon that conclusion – she had said that it was a tool, not a weapon. Sabin had countered, saying that anyone could use tools as weapons, and the two had argued with strange conundrums that made those passing by speed up or call them crazy.
Their eyes were very large and faced forward, but as always, as with any transmogrification of the body, the color of eyes remained the same. Lyoko was covered in such neon, clashingly bright feathers of crimson, blue, and white that it hurt to look at her for very long, so he turned his head to the left and saw that they were standing on the outermost perimeter of what looked like a very large valley.

In the moonlight, they could see moving shapes…creatures on the plains. A sudden gust of wind made Sabin shudder. Though he knew the place, and there was a chance the creatures here remembered him, and he was social and outgoing, Sabin suddenly felt that it was wrong to be here. But he had to do his job. Once the time was right, they would nudge the asteroid Xynth 067k2 out of its trajectory and direct it into a collision with Earth. Sabin hated it. He hated that he had to end so many lives…or maybe that was the Troodon mind affecting his own. He currently shared his own brain with the Troodon’s, and it was receiving pictures of whatever crossed Sabin’s mind, and Sabin was able to see whatever it thought and felt its emotions alongside his own. The little dinosaur became puzzled as it watching Sabin’s depiction of the asteroid crash into Earth, hearing thousands of voices cry out at once, only to be suddenly silenced…

“Shall we immerse?” Lyoko asked, her words coming out as garbled snarls and clicks, but he heard them perfectly in his mind. Sabin looked at her in a reluctant, sad sort of way. Of course he wasn’t ready. He would never be ready to begin an assignment that would end in the destruction of an entire ecosystem. Lyoko did not look pleased. Shall we immerse…the ëGo’ button - the official signal for a mission to begin. Knowing there was no way around it, Sabin nodded hesitantly, powered his legs, and together they raced down the slope and into a world populated by creatures they had interacted with seventy years ago.

Sabin had never felt such joy and panic mixed into one sweetly sad moment. Here he was, in a body alternate to his natural form, racing downhill like mad through a thicket of leafy sweet-smelling vegetation his host’s mind was paranoid of on a mission of eventual destruction and death to observe the 50-ton inhabitants of a valley in the middle of the darkest night. And yet, the freedom! He ran and ran, dodging leaves, jumping over logs, even going out of his way to go back and jump the ones he had missed. The power! The tireless energy this Troodon body had astounded him! He ran laps around his younger sister until he accidentally tripped her.

   :Fewmet!: She cursed as she plummeted towards the ground, managing to catch herself at the last moment with her long, gangly arms. Sabin stopped and began to apologize, but Lyoko cut in telepathically. :Sabin, I’m glad you feel the same rush of freedom as I, but I do not appreciate it getting to your head. The Second of Sarkkhan’s Avowal; interact with the development of other species as little as possible. Remember, don’t let the Troodon brain get to you. We willingly took charge of this assignment.: She pushed herself up and tested out her legs and arms and bent her long neck this way and that, just to make sure nothing was broken. Silent, Sabin looked concerned for a moment, and began to apologize again, but Lyoko closed one eye, a non-verbal gesture to be quiet. Sabin closed both eyes and stilled his mind. They walked the rest of the way to the open plains, trying to make as little noise as possible.

The two stopped on the edge of the large, open clearing and gazed at the small black, white-rimmed shapes moving about cautiously. Their Troodon minds registered danger, and instinctively the sickle-shaped claw on their feet swayed up and down as if preparation for attack. The group of five stiff-tailed bipedal creatures was moving slowly, close together, acting like thieves. Sabin felt a wave of dread from the Troodon’s consciousness, and that influenced him. He looked at his sister, who kept her pink eyes focused on the figures. All at once there was a shrieking sound, a bellow that echoed, and something very large, heavily built, with horns on its head, was seen running at the group of five sleek animals, who bolted and scattered like impalas before a hot air balloon. The instant they dispersed, Sabin thought the creature – whatever it was – would stop harassing them. But the animal continued on, chasing after the nearest stiff-tailed, long-armed creature that vaguely resembled the forms Sabin and Lyoko resided in. The bulky animal disappeared behind a tree line, out of sight. Sabin looked back at Lyoko for a moment, then started forward, at a walk first, then a full-out run. Lyoko clenched her toothy jaws and followed moments later, having no idea what he was going after.

A sweet-smelling, peach-like odor grew stronger as the two neared a little rise of ground. As they discovered moments later, this little rise of ground was a protective windshield to a dugout nest containing a sleeping lump. Lyoko stopped fifteen feet away, but her brother ventured further, curious about the snoozing creature. Before Sabin could poke at the animal, Lyoko grabbed his tail and pulled him back, hissing about the rules. “The Second of Sarkkhan’s Avowal, Sabin!” She snarled, jerking him back more and forcefully turning him to face her. “If you bend the rules you will be disengaged – that much was made clear on our visit to Vergun when you fed the Shorms on an unauthorized mission! I don’t want to be the one to report the final mishap. This is a mission of study, of recording, then of demolition. I know how much you cherish life, brother, but for your own sake stop trying to be a hero!”

Sabin was taken aback. What was wrong with being sympathetic? Suddenly the sleeping lump shifted and let out a yawn. Sabin stood, paralyzed, as the creature opened its green eyes, yawned, and took in the two Troodons. Or, rather, only Sabin, because Lyoko had dashed away at the first sign that the dinosaur infant was going to awaken. There was a moment of silence before the creature jumped up and screamed. Startled by the high-pitched noise, Sabin leapt back and fell, only now realizing that its voice was calling others. The ground shook and the Troodon saw the big dinosaur from before stomp towards him, but it was moving slower and walked with a limp. By smell Sabin could tell that the large black and gray Triceratops in front of him was an elder, and for some reason Sabin couldn’t find it in himself to move. When the old male Triceratops approached, he stood protectively over the now-quiet huddling mass, bucked his head and stomped the ground with its left foreleg. Sabin stood up hastily and retreated to tree line, watching over his shoulder to make sure the huge animal didn’t charge.

“Mr. Threehorn…” Sabin said, having finally recognized the Triceratops. “…Mr. Threehorn always was an aggressive one, wasn’t he?”
“If he can’t see it with his own eyes it doesn’t exist. What limited thinking.” Lyoko responded from deeper within the trees, quoting herself from their last visit, meaning she agreed.
“But he’s getting old now. See the way he limps, how the right brow horn has been snapped?”
“I have eyes.” Lyoko responded.
Sabin watched the old male put his large crooked beak against the side of the baby, trying to coax it back to sleep before anyone was woken by false alarm. Once the Triceratops was satisfied with the infant’s snoozing, he laid down and curled his short body around the nest, took one more piercing, intense surveying sweep of the valley plains, then slept. Lyoko stood beside her brother.
“See how his heart is no longer as hard and impenetrable as his armor?”


f-22 "raptor" ace

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Ratiasu

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Quote from: f-22 "raptor" ace,Aug 27 2006 on  10:55 PM
i like it! it is  very good.
Somehow I doubt you read it all in three minutes.


Cyberlizard

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Maybe he's just a fast reader.  :lol: Nice one.  :D


Malte279

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You certainly did a very good job in picking up that Rainbowface language which would probably cause many raised eyebrows and confused looks from the inhabitants of the Great Valley.
Your explanation of the characters also fits very well to what we saw in LBT 7 with the male being the more sympathetic, more bearish, and less rule obedient of the two. It sounds scary to me that apparently those two are going to be responsible for the meteor impact which erradicated the dinosaurs. Is it possible that this:
Quote
The little dinosaur became puzzled as it watching Sabin’s depiction of the asteroid crash into Earth, hearing thousands of voices cry out at once, only to be suddenly silenced…
was partly inspired by Star Wars? Obiwan Kenobi says something very similar about Alderan if I'm not very mistaken.
I like your writing style, as you include many details and small elements which, while not elementary for the story, make it much more lively and readable.
As for the story itself I'm always a bit reserved against LBT stories which change the setting of LBT. You didn't write anything that would contradict what we saw in the movies, yet with all the things the rainbowfaces know, and plan, and say it is drifting towards Science Fiction.


Ratiasu

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Quote from: Malte279,Aug 28 2006 on  03:29 AM
You certainly did a very good job in picking up that Rainbowface language which would probably cause many raised eyebrows and confused looks from the inhabitants of the Great Valley.
Your explanation of the characters also fits very well to what we saw in LBT 7 with the male being the more sympathetic, more bearish, and less rule obedient of the two. It sounds scary to me that apparently those two are going to be responsible for the meteor impact which erradicated the dinosaurs. Is it possible that this:
Quote
The little dinosaur became puzzled as it watching Sabin’s depiction of the asteroid crash into Earth, hearing thousands of voices cry out at once, only to be suddenly silenced…
was partly inspired by Star Wars? Obiwan Kenobi says something very similar about Alderan if I'm not very mistaken.
I like your writing style, as you include many details and small elements which, while not elementary for the story, make it much more lively and readable.
As for the story itself I'm always a bit reserved against LBT stories which change the setting of LBT. You didn't write anything that would contradict what we saw in the movies, yet with all the things the rainbowfaces know, and plan, and say it is drifting towards Science Fiction.
Thank you for your comments, Malte. To be truthful, I'm kind of making this up as I go along. As for the Star Wars thing, believe it or not, I've never seen Star Wars (my dad said the beginning reminded him of Star Trek and that quote you quoted reminded him of Star Wars, but I know nothing about either of those), so any similarities are purely consequential. But yeah, the story is going to be a bit sci-fi ish...it's kind of hard not to be when the Rainbowfaces are involved...but I'll try to add in as much 'normal' things as possible to keep it balanced. But I'm a bit puzzled about how the gang of five is going to fit into this story. I mean, it's 70 years later, and granted not all the dinosaurs had a very long lifespan – after all, T. Rex only lived into its early 20's. But since Mr. Threehorn's alive, I might as well make Cera be alive, and Littlefoot, too...but then again, size isn't always a factor for lifespan. Not sure about Petrie or Ducky or Spike, though...but it would be kind of a shame not to include them in some way...but I also doubt that pterosaurs and duckbills lived past 50...