Hello everyone.
Now, some of you might know about this already; nevertheless, I feel that I need to spill the beans.
I don't know where to start or explain it, but I'll give it a try.
Firstly, I've quit my old school. I did so 3 months ago infact. I couldn't stand it, the enviroment, the travels, and I didn't have any real friends.
It's a bit of a shame, as it was a really good school, but if you have to you have to.
I trusted my heart. That was not my school.
So there I was. No school, no education. Feeling totally bankrupted. It was a real hard time, not just with school, but with family, social life and mental health...
It took me about two weeks to find something new. And... that was a pain....
I could not study in the areas I wanted anymore. (the areas I've longed for to study for soo long...) And they had plans of putting me back in 1st grade (college). I did try that. I didn't fufill that day at school.
I left after three hours and walked my way.
I just walked. Didn't know where to. I just walked trough the village and into the forest. It was... a beautiful day... the sun was shining and the sky was blue.
Eventually, I found myself standing at a big field. (...golftrack).
I sat down at bench on top of hole no.15. i don't know how long I sat there, but I got time to think. These questions bothered my mind:
-Who am I?
-What do I want to do?
-What's going to happen to me?
-What education could I consider study for another two years (now that I have lost my chanses to study what I really want?)
-What will my family say?
-Can I just run away?
- and why the hell am I sitting on bench in the middle of a golftrack!? (really)
Unfortunly, I didn't get any answers.
I managed to walk back home.
I couldn't belive this was happening to ME!
I was the third best student in my old school!
Why? Why ME? It was supposed to be those jerks who didn't give damn about education that were supposed to be in this crap! Not ME!!
It took weeks before I settled down. I did some search and considered alot of alternatives.
Kay, time for an outcome:
I've quited ALL my goals in life that has to do with education.
I'm now studying civics and journalism 2nd year at Ale Gymnasium, Gotehnburg.
I'm in a new school, new class...
But after these past months, it feels... good.
I've gotten along really well in this new enviroment. I have a place in class, and it's quite the jolly bunch. I feel welcome.
Civics and journalism is quite fun anyway. We get to work alot with computers and programs such as Ps and InDesign.
The new classmates are all good. They even gave me a nickname: "Pysen" which is the direct swedish translation of... Shorty.
Quite cool.
I've had that nickname before, quite fun that they decided to call me that.
The school lies closer to home, and because I'm a "very good student" my schedual differs from my classmates.
For example, they study English B. I'm already studying C along with the 3rd years. (I'm their cute little 2nd yearer... girls pet me...
So my schedual is quite nice. Start late, finish early.
So, I'm okay with this new school. I hope it will stay so.
That's school.
I have a bigger problem.
I have nothing to do.
I really long for a sparetime activity!
I have several things that I feel I would like to try:
-learn how to play an instrument
-singing
-join the local alpine club®
-dancing
I just don't know. I'm very sad about this, it's really bothering me...
I shall stop. This post has been way too long. Add more later.
But, I needed this off my chest. I know things will work out, it's just the way there that is a hard walk. One good thing about me though:
I never give up.
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