Recently I typed down some limericks for my English course. I think I may copy paste them here just as well:
There was an old man in Peru.
Who dreamt he had eaten his shoe.
He woke up in the night
With a terrible fright
And found it was perfectly true.
There was an old man with a beard,
Who said, “It is just as I feared.
Two owls and a hen,
Four larks and a wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, “Let us flee!”
Said the flea, “Let us fly!”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Three middle-aged ladies from Fordham
Went out on a walk and it bored them
When they turned back
A sex-maniac
Jumped out from the bushes and... ignored them.
There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light;
She set out one day,
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd
She was frightened – it must be allowed.
Soon a happy though hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in her bed and meowed.
There was an old fellow named Green,
Who grew so abnormally lean,
And flat, and compressed,
That his back touched his chest,
And sideways he couldn't be seen.
There was a young lady named Hannah,
Who slipped on a peel of banana.
As she lay on her side,
More stars she espied
Than there are in the Star-Spangled Banner.
There was an old man in a hearse,
Who murmured, “This might have been worse;
Of course the expense
Is simply immense,
But it doesn't come out of my purse.”
A cheerful old bear at the Zoo
Could always find something to do.
When it bored him, you know,
To walk to and fro,
He reversed it and walked fro and to.
There was a young person called Smarty,
Who sent out his cards for a party;
So exclusive and few
Were the friends that he knew
That no one was present but Smarty.
There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all
And now he's a college professor.
A young man dining at Crewe
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, “Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the other guests will all want one too.”
As 007 walked by
He heard a wee spider say, “Hi.”
But shaken, he shot
It right there on the spot
As it tried to explain, “I'm a spi...”
There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a large wart on her nose.
When she had it removed
Her appearance improved,
But her glasses slipped down to her toes.
