The Land Before Time > LBT Fanfiction

My "Land Before Time" fanfiction.

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WeirdRaptor:
This is basically just what I have so far. I will post the chapters as I complete them. This is the completed Prologue.



             The Land Before Time: The Remake of an Original Classic:

                                                   Prologue:

     Long ago, back when this ancient planet was young, long before the first civilization. Before the first mammal organisms became the dominant species of any ecosystem. It was the time of the dinosaurs.
     Now, the dinosaurs were of many kinds. Some had long necks and could reach the highest leaves of the trees, and some could reach the top leaves by their strength. Others could swim, while others flew through the skies. And some craved meat. They fed upon the leaf-eating dinosaurs.
     It was an eternal fight for survival between the two different kinds, most of the time ending in the deaths of one side or the other.
     While the meat-eaters thought themselves dominant, that was far from the truth. Dinosaurs were, by fact, ruled by the leaf, and when the land starting dying out, so did they. The once green, lush world was becoming a wasteland north, south, east and west.
     There were some rumors, however, about a distant, called, The Great valley. But it was only rumor. Some dinosaurs, however, were desperate enough to leave the place where they had lived for the longest time, and struck towards the west. Searching for this “Great Valley”. It was rumored that this place was still lush and green.
     Where some believed it was a journey towards, others were very doubtful. It would be a big decision to go to such a place, especially when it such a long ways away and they’d face dangers far worse than anything they might come across in their homeland. There were scoffers and believers and endless debates about whether it should be chanced going to find this ëGreat Valley’. One such debate was being made in a place called, the Green Meadow. Which was now anything BUT green.
     One of the herds of leaf-eaters, Longnecks, to be exact, had gathered together to decide the fate of herd. To stay and squeeze out a survival on the ruined remains of a once great valley, or to toughen up and go try to find the now Great Valley. It was a herd torn in two. Thunderstride, the elder and former leader of the herd was in favor of going to The Great Valley and he had many followers. But Strongtail, the current herd leader was not so optimistic, and he also had many supporters.

    “It’s a fool’s dream!” Strongtail, the Herd leader scoffed.
    “What other choice do we have?” Indigo, the Herd Elder asked, “There is no food here. We have to go beyond our safe valley borders and into lands accessible to sharpteeth and sharpclaws whenever we are hungry. This is not the life for us.”
    “So, instead of working hard and staying where its safe, you’ll cross the very territory we avoid to get to some ëfantasy valley’?” Strongtail asked, mockingly, “Listen to yourself! You’re losing it, old one!”
    “Don’t you DARE talk to my father that way!” Thunderclap: Thunderstride’s daughter, said incredulously.
    “You have no right to speak to him in such a manner. He’s our elder.” Another added in.
    “Why not?” Strongtail asked, “I’m the leader.”
    “Our customs clearly state that the herd elder had much say in every decision and deserves your respect!” Swiftfoot said, “He made your leader when he passed the responsibility on and even trained you for it for years before doing so! And this is how you repay him?”
    “My apologies.” Strongtail said, through gritted teeth.
    “I should hope so.” Thunderclap said.
    “Now, if we could get on with business.” Thunderstride said, “I stand by the fact we have no choice. Sure, the conditions of life are not too seriously bad at this generation, but what about the future? Things are only going to get worse before they get better.”
    “And you call me pessimistic?” Strongtail asked, raising an eyebrow. “Look, the sharpteeth have wanted to get us all for years, and if we leave, they’ll have their chance.”
    “And f we stay, we will just have to keep going into their territory to gather food for the little ones.” Thunderclap said, “That is not the life I want for my hatchling.”
    “Oh, please…” Strongtail said, knowing that the elder and his daughter were going to use her pregnancy in this debate sooner or later.
    “My daughter is right. These raids cost us Bron, who was lost to those horrid creatures. Its because of these raids that my Grandchild will not have a father.” Thunderstride said, insistently, “Is that what you want for the rest of the herd.” Thunderstride added, gesturing to the other longnecks.
     Strongtail was at a loss. He knew that he was now losing.
    “Fine.” He said, “Anyone who wants to leave to go to the Great Valley gather by the northern border at daybreak. The rest go about your business.”
    “Tomorrow?” Thunderstride gasped, “Be reasonable, Strongtail.”
    “That is my decision.” Strongtail ordered, “Anyone who dares to go to this “Great Valley” will leave TOMORROW! If you decide to come back, you’re more than welcome to.” And with that, he turned and left.
    “Although, we could talk more in the morning.” Strongtail said over his shoulder.  
     With that, the council had ended and the herd went to lay down to sleep for the night.

    “This will be a march of man dangers, Thunderstride.” Grayvale: Thunderstride’s mate, said.
    “I know.” He replied, “I just hope that we can make a good distance before Thunderclap goes into labor. Perhaps we can change Strongtail’s mind.”
    “I doubt it. I only wish someone could dethrone him from his pedestal.” Grayvale said.
    “That can only be done if he hands it done to someone else or if he does something really terrible.”
    “You mean like making two pregnant members of herd leave by sunrise?” Thunderclap asked, gesturing to Softfoot, who was following along behind.
    “No, only one.” Softfoot said, “I’m not going at least until my children are old enough to make the distance.”
     Thunderstride, Grayvale, and Thunderclap did not respond. It was a reasonable choice, but Thunderclap was not going to do the same as her friend.

Threehorn:
Wow that sounds sooo cool

-Threehorn

WeirdRaptor:
Thanks. I hope some others, other than you and Malte will comment, too.

Threehorn:
I hope you get good words for it

-Threehorn  :D

Petrie:
Sounds like a good story so far, but I have a couple of suggestions before you go too far:

1.) The first section before the dinos start talking reminds me way too much of the prologue they gave in the original LBT film.  It's almost copied word for word...I'd revise that.

2.) You've got two characters with very similar names: Thunderstride and Thunderclap...consider changing one of those names because already I'm getting confused as to who's who with names that are so similar.

Other than that, this sounds fine. :)

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