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So, this is my very first LBT fanfic. Finally I'm going to post it here, but it's not yet finished. I just want you guys to read the finished chapters I made, and I need your opinion on my fanfic, if it is good or slightly bad. I'll be using those opinions to make my fanfics better.
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Ali’s Very Special StardayPrologueA group of migrating longnecks were traveling through a desert, searching for food, water, and shelter. The leader of the herd was called the “Old One” She had been leading her herd for a long time, and keeping them away from the sharpteeth. A young longneck named “Ali” was traveling together with her mother. As they travelled, the bright circle began to set and the migrating longnecks could not stop however, until the old one gave the order to rest...
“Listen up, everyone! We’re going to stay here for the night! Rest until then!” She turned around to the herd and commanded.
As they settled in for the night, Ali was still awake and her mother, by her side.
“Ali, do you still remember the Great Valley?” she asked as she looked at Ali.
“Yes mother, we’ve been there twice right?” she replied.
“Yes, and we are going there again” she said while smiling at Ali.
“Really mother?” asked the excited Ali.
“Yes Ali, we’re going to visit your friends” Ali was happily jumping with joy when she heard about the news.
“Not only that Ali, today is also your starday.” she said.
“Today is my starday? Wow” Ali was in shock when she heard that.
Ali raised her one foot and put it between the night circle and her starday star.
“It is my starday!” she happily said as she found out that it was her starday.
“Now Ali, let’s get some rest, we still have a long way to go tomorrow, also we will celebrate your starday on the Great Valley.” she said.
“Yes mother.”Ali yawned and slept beside her mother.
The next day, the Old one decided to continue the journey to the Great Valley. The Old one knew that they were going to the Great Valley once again, and she knew the path to the Great Valley well, ever since the first time they've gone there.
Ali on the other hand, was thrilled in this journey to the Great Valley because she would see her friends: Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie, Spike, Chomper, and Ruby again.
“Mother, are we not there yet? I’m so excited to see my friends again.” Ali gave a pronounced sigh to emphasize her eagerness.
“Not yet my dear, but we’re almost there” Ali sighed as she was very excited to see her friends again.
As they are getting closer to the Great Valley, what awaits Ali is something wonderful.
Chapter 1Ali’s Return to the Great ValleyIn the Great Valley, Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie, Spike, Chomper, and Ruby were having a great time playing hide and seek. Chomper was “it” and he is busy counting while the others are in ruckus to find a place to hide.
Littlefoot found a big rock and he decided to hide there. Cera was hiding behind two big trees. Ducky was with Spike in a bush. Petrie went to the top of a tree and used the leaves for cover. Ruby was in a hole behind a big rock.
Chomper finished counting and starts to look for the others, as he was looking for the others, on the place where Ducky and Spike were, Spike seemed so hungry and ate the bush that was their hiding spot.
“Spike! No! You’re eating our hiding place again.” Ducky said as she pushes Spike’s nose.
Chomper saw Ducky and Spike who was eating the rest of the bush that was once their hiding place.
“Found you Ducky! You too Spike!” he said.
Ducky and Spike was startled by Chomper’s voice.
“Oh! Y-you found us…” she said.
She turned to Spike with disappointment "Spike! We couldn't find a perfect hiding place if you keep on eating it. No no no…” she said.
Chomper went out to look for the others. He stopped by beside a tree to sniff out. Unfortunately, the tree Chomper beside with was where Petrie hid. Petrie looked down and saw Chomper sniffing out.
“Oh, this no look good, me could be sniffed out here” he said.
Suddenly, a strong wind surged through and Petrie was startled by the strong wind, so, he got blown by the wind and flipped around and around until he fell down to the ground. Chomper noticed this as he walked toward Petrie.
“I found you Petrie!” he said and walked away to find the others. Petrie was lying on the ground and got dizzy.
Chomper has to find Littlefoot, Cera and Ruby this time. Chomper continued to search for them, but suddenly, Chomper stopped and he saw Littlefoot together with his Grandpa and Grandma on a small hill.
Ducky saw Chomper and she walked behind him “Chomper, what is it? Why did you stop?” Ducky asked.
“Littlefoot is with his Grandpa and his Grandma” Chomper said as the others also came behind Chomper.
“What’s with the stopping?” Cera complained and shook her head.
“Me see Littlefoot, his grandpa and grandma.” Petrie said while he was flying above the others.
A minute later, Littlefoot’s grandparents took off, and the others walk toward Littlefoot.
“Guys! Guys! I have good news to tell you” Littlefoot shouted and ran towards his friends as he saw them walking towards to him.
“What’s the good news Littlefoot?” Ducky questioned.
“Yeah, what is it Littlefoot?” Petrie questioned also while the others were waiting for the good news Littlefoot is about to say.
“Ali is back!” Littlefoot said in joy.
The others were silent for a moment before they could jump in joy that Ali is coming back to the Great Valley.
“The flyers just spot them not far from here, we got to get ready to welcome Ali here in the Great Valley again” Littlefoot said as he looked to the sky and saw the flyers flying around.
“Yes we must! Yes yes yes!” Ducky said with contentment.
All of them went to the place where the grown-ups usually have their meeting or discussion; they will wait for Ali and the rest of the herd there.
“Okay, we’re here. Now we have to wait for Ali and the herd” Littlefoot said in exhaustion due to the distance they've ran.
“I remember the last time they went here with that Rhett guy, you know, the one I scared before.” Chomper said in thought.
“Yeah I remember that Rhett guy who even said that he built a mountain of rocks with his tail, yeah right…” Cera said with a bit of irritation from her face.
Meanwhile, Ali together with the herd was coming towards the Great Valley.
“Mother! I can see the Great Valley! We’re here at last!” Ali said in complete gladness.
“Yes dear, we’re here in the Great Valley, lush green food and enough source of water for all of us.” Ali’s mother said.
They went to the place where everyone was and grandpa and grandma gave them the warmest welcome first
“Welcome to the Great Valley once again old one” Grandpa said.
“May you take your time to be with us here” Grandma said.
The old one took a look at the surroundings in the Great Valley before she could talk
“Your Great Valley, it still stands strong. Not like the land where we came from, it didn’t last long. Thank you for welcoming us here.” The old one said.
While the grown-ups were having a conversation, Littlefoot and the others were beside a tree waiting for Ali.
“Where Ali?” Petrie questioned and looked around.
“There she is!” Littlefoot said as he saw Ali running towards them. Ali approached them and gave a smile.
“Hi Ali!” everyone said.
“Hello everyone! I missed you all so much” Ali said while she looked at everyone.
“I don’t think anything has changed to all of you” Ali giggled.
“I missed you too Ali, in fact, everyone missed you” Littlefoot said and looked to the ground as if he’s blushing.
“We missed you a lot Ali, yep yep yep!” Ducky said.
“I have good news, it’s my starday today!” Ali joyfully said.
“Wow, I didn’t know that it was your starday today, when I had my starday before, I didn’t spend it with my parents since I haven’t seen them for a long time. Instead, my friends made my starday so happy!” Ruby said.
“I’m going to celebrate my starday with my mother later when the bright circle leaves the sky, you can come and join the celebration!” Ali said.
“While there’s still time let’s celebrate your starday
now Ali!” Littlefoot said.
“Happy starday Ali!” everyone said.
“Thank you everyone, this will be the best starday I will ever have, since I’ve never celebrated my starday with my friends” Ali said with delight in her face.
“Wait a minute, where’s your friend Rhett? Is he with you?” Cera questioned and shook her head, interrupting the conversation.
“Here I am!” Rhett jumped out from the bushes beside them.
“There you are Rhett!” Littlefoot said.
“Hi Rhett!” the others said.
“So, what’s up Rhett? Built more mountain of rocks with your tail?” Cera said and everyone laugh.
“Ha-ha, very funny. It is Ali’s starday today so, let’s play “rescue” everyone so we can celebrate her starday.
“I’m so tired from our journey, so maybe I’ll join you later” Ali said in exhaustion.
“Oh, if you say so, since you’re then one who’s having a starday.” Rhett said. Everyone left the area but Littlefoot is still there
“Littlefoot, are you coming or what?” Cera questioned while looking back.
“Uhhh… maybe I’ll also join later, I-I ate too much earlier so I need to take a rest for a bit.” Littlefoot said in doubt.
“Oh okay then, join with us later when you’re feeling better.” Cera said and ran after the others.
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That's it for today guys, I'm going to put Chapter 2 and 3 soon after I review it and make some small changes. Don't forget to post your opinions here.
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