The text included many excellent descriptive words, words that showed the reader what was going on and allowed the reader to experience what the included person/persons in question had experienced. I couldn't have done better. Spend much time reading thesauruses?
Anyways, the only thing I found unsatisfactory was the quote thing. If you notice, the quote text is smaller than the regular text and much harder to read. It's also in a much harsher color to the eyes. Very unconfortable to read. In the middle of reading the text, I had to copy and paste the whole thing into a word document because my eyes hurt so much from trying to read that text of the quotes. Quotes are meant for small parts of text that you are quoting, not a long paper with many paragraphs. That's what they were optimized for. Other than the annoyance of having to put the text into a word document, it was very well written. It does not in many ways describe my experiences that I am going through in high school right now, but I was able to easily see the characters point of view and make connections from the text not from my personal life (which is what most people do in their style of writing), but from the text itself. It was written in the format of a sunday paper, but it was different because it was not simply a collection of facts put into writing, but a writing of passion and from a supurb writer as well. It is clear that you have strong emotions surrounding the content of the paper, and that is what matters. If you do have no emotions about the text, then you have a rare gift because you filled it with passion...the passion that seems like it's coming from an esteemed individual with a distinct opinion driven by personal experience and emotion. If you have actual emotions about these things included in the paper, then great job. If you have no emotions about the contents, go looking for a job as a writer. B)
There were several text errors, but that's what editors are for!
