The Gang of Five
Beyond the Mysterious Beyond => The Arts => The Written Word => Topic started by: Simba King Of Pride Rock on May 18, 2015, 09:50:09 PM
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I am working on a fanfic series called The New Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. There are two characters, Obi and Lupe Wolf, the king and queen of the area where Sonic lives, that are prominently featured. For those who don't know, Lupe is a character from the 1993 Sonic cartoon. Obi is an original character of mine. Comments are ok, just no trolling.
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Romance of the Wolves
Obi
Lupe
My wife, my queen
My greatest friend
Fairest and most glorious of all she-wolves
Eyes like sapphires
Flowing, long, silken hair the color of a midnight sky
Fur of silver and white
Our mothers brought us into this world on the same day
As pups, you were my best friend
As young adults, we came to fall in love
I look at you now
My glorious jewel
My royal darling
Lupe
Obi
My love, my king
Once, you were the greatest of princes
Now, you are the highest of kings
Your eyes gleam like fire
Your fur is like the black of the depths of the sea
Who would dare to stir your kingly rage?
No one, if they are smart
Looking into your eyes is like looking at a living embodiment of might and power
Such is your glorious might
My mighty king
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Just curious. Why do you not want critiques?
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^ Because I have never liked them, on account of the fact my writings are often different or odd in style, such as this.
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Sometimes I have a hard time with them too, but critiques are meant to help you to improve on your work. It's hard to improve if you aren't willing to listen to what other people have to say. But it's your choice if you want to listen or not.
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I used the wrong word. I should have said "trolling". I am in a bad habit of saying "critique". I had some bad experiences early on in my writing, so I am hesitant to accept them. However, I do allow for people politely telling me where I can improve.