“I don’t get why you have to stop to collect every seashell you come across,” Junior said irritably as Diddy sat down next to him with a bundle full of sea shells he had found on the beach. “In fact, I don’t get why anyone cares about stupid little useless things that come in by the tuckload every time the tide turns.”
“That’s because you’re hopelessly stupid,” Diddy said matter-of-factly.
Usso winced a little at this, which Junior noticed. At first he opened his mouth preparing to explain to him that he and Diddy loved trading barbs and every insult they made was in good fun, but then this turned into an evil little smirk.
“Better than having a family full of inbred island slackers,” Junior saidóthe key word having been ëfamily’. He knew that’d set Diddy up for:
“Family? You’re the kid with a muscle-head dictator father, no mother, and seven vassals you call ësibilings’ and you bring up my family? Pathetic,” Diddy said in a bitting tone, although there was a hint of a smile on his face while he said this. “At least my family isn’t hated by everyone.”
Junior caught the keywordóeveryoneóand jumped on it. “Diddyóthey feel sorry for you,” Junior corrected, wagging his finger. “With all the tooth decay and lack of toilets, people go out of their way not to try to think about you too much to begin with. Well, that and all kongs are hideously uglyóespecially you.”
“Ugly? Have you everó“
“Look, please don’t fight right now,” Usso pleaded, growing more and more upset with each exchange. Diddy looked immediately apologetic but Junior actually snickered. Diddy bared his teeth. “The hell was that funny, moron?”
“Cause it just is,” Junior said with an evil smirk as he twiddle his claw into his teeth. “Kind of like how your parents left you.”
Diddy just folded his arms and turned his attention away from himóthe ultimate punishment for an attention hogging little prince like him.
“We do this all the time,” Diddy said with a smile to a confused looking Usso.
“You… insult each other all the time?” Usso queried, perplexed. Diddy’s long monkey tail wagged a bit, as if it were a fly whisk trying to dispel all the awkwardness of the situation by flicking it away. “Yep. It started out just as practicing our insults so we could seem like we hated each other in public. Then it kind of became a game, y’know? Kind of a contest to see who can be the cleverest. We love itóI win half the time, and I pretend to let Junior win half the time.”
Diddy was suddenly flung forward as he tackled from behind by the koopa, who was growling loudly. Usso jumped back in panic, sending beach sand flying everywhere as Diddy writhed while the koopa bit him. He was about to shout for them stop until he himself thought to what Diddy had just finished telling him, and took a closer look.
Diddy was writhing because the koopa was tickling him, and the bites he was giving were barely enough to give him a hickey.
“Q-quit it, you big stupid lizard!”
“Nuh-huh. Not until you take it back,” Junior teased, biting him on the neck a little as Diddy playfully whacked him with his tail to signal him to stop embarrassing him in front of Usso. The damn kid knew all of the most tickleish spots on his body.
“Say it.”
“No!”
“Say it, Didds.”
“I said, no!”
“Say it!” Junior commanded just as Diddy suddenly reversed course and pinned the koopa to the ground in a deft wrestling maneuver, grinning at the look of shock and a prominent blush on the prince’s face. Diddy’s tail was wagging happily.
“Alright, I take it back. I just let you win at wrestling half the time,” Diddy said cheekily, and then gave his pinned boyfriend a kiss on his glowing red cheek, which sent the koopa into a giggle fit. Usso laughed a little too as the waves continued to wash onto the artificial beach.
----
Rogan looked to G-- who had hearing so sharp he would have been shocked if he hadn't heard what Stripetail had just said-- who indeed gave him a shrug in a 'why not' kind of gesture. The agent then turned back to his phone and said. "Uh... sure, if you can," he said. And here he thought the strangest part of his day today had already ended.
