Dawn of a Wingtail

[Caustizer]

Ok now for my second try.

Impressive work as always Sky.  I noticed a couple of things on here that reveal a similarity to the Far Away Home depiction of Sky.  Firstly, he enjoys watching the sunset at night, which is because it reminds him Star in my story.  Second, the others call him Mr. Sky as opposed to Mr. Wingtail or just plain Sky, which implies he is not only older but somewhat of an authority figure in the valley.  Lastly, he gets annoyed when they interrupt him which is perfectly indictive of his reaction to Petrie and Guido in my story.

Note also the irony of Petrie and Guido being the first two characters to appear with Sky, just as it was in FAH as well.  

I wouldn't be too worried about Guido's age though... the thing is that in LBT 12 he is an adult, albight a confused and dazed one.  You can tell in his posture and articulation as well as how the denizens of the valley treat him.  In that sense, it is perfectly reasonable that he would look the same after all the others have grown up.

Looking forward to the next comic.

Caustizer.

[Sky]

^ Okay, the first fact is something I already knew.
The second one is... more a 'Guido-like' speech. Sky asked the others not to call him like that (which will be explained in later pages).
The last two though, is something I couldn't remember. They're complete coincidence.

Ok, as for the minor flaws (like Petrie's leg or grammar errors), they can easily be fixed.  
Sadly, the first panel with Sky's neck is something I have to redraw completely (so I keep it as it is).  

As a further notice, a friend of mine on deviantart thinks, it would look much better if the first two panels have still the afterglow effect of the sun rather than disappear all of a sudden.
What are your thoughts about it?

[Pangaea]

Also, in the very last panel, there should be no comma immediately after “mister”.

I think he meant to show that Guido does not quite know how he wants to call Sky... Should he say mister, or sky, or sir? I don't think he meant to say Mister Sky

Good point there. I considered that possibility, but decided to just go with the assumption that (artist) Sky meant to have Guido referring to (character) Sky as "Mister Sky".

As a further notice, a friend of mine on deviantart thinks, it would look much better if the first two panels have still the afterglow effect of the sun rather than disappear all of a sudden.
What are your thoughts about it?

Hmm…your friend is right that the sun appears to have gone down pretty quickly, though on the other hand we don't know how long the crash left Sky and Guido dazed. However, if it's not too hard to change the background, then I don't see why not.

[Sky]

^ Changing colors or lines that are 'inside' a character is easy to edit, unlike lines that connects to the background or other characters.  
I'll fix the minor flaws as soon as possible. :^.^:

[Pangaea]

^ Just to let you know, I'm not entirely certain that my suggestion for Petrie's leg (erasing only the center part of the dividing line between his leg and body but leaving a bit of line on each side) will look better; :unsure: being the expert artist, you'd probably have better judgment on whether or not it looks good (Maybe you could do a quick test sketch to make sure).

[Sky]

Well, this is how it would look like:


I'm quite unsure myself... :unsure:
But then again, it's just a single panel so its nothing really to worry about.  

[Pangaea]

Hmm…that is a toughie. :unsure: Personally, though, I think the two on the left are both improvements over the original. My suggestion would be to combine them in a way, using the lower line from the far left image, and the upper line from the center image. In other words, take the version on the far left and make the line leading down across Petrie’s leg from the side of his body as long as that of the center version. The line coming up from below should remain short, as it is in the far left. That’s my opinion, anyway (I hope I communicated it well enough).

[DarkHououmon]

Hmm…that is a toughie. :unsure: Personally, though, I think the two on the left are both improvements over the original. My suggestion would be to combine them in a way, using the lower line from the far left image, and the upper line from the center image. In other words, take the version on the far left and make the line leading down across Petrie’s leg from the side of his body as long as that of the center version. The line coming up from below should remain short, as it is in the far left. That’s my opinion, anyway (I hope I communicated it well enough).

I agree. I prefer the two images on the left over the last one on the right. The lines connecting at the start of Petrie's leg in the last image seems to give Petrie more of a.. "figurine-ish" kind of look, like his leg can be pulled out. The other two gives the leg a more flesh-like appearance and looks like it's part of the body rather than simply attached, in my opinion. The only time I would think the lines at the start of the leg should connect is if the underside of the character is colored differently, like in Guido's case. But Petrie doesn't have that lighter colored underside (where his stomach and between his legs are of a different color or shade than his legs and sides). So connecting the lines wouldn't make much sense, at least to me.

[Chiletrek]

Hello:
 And I agree with DarkHououmon, the one in the left is better for the same reasons she gave, due to the colors Petrie has. And that also gives more uniformity to the character.
 Keep it up!

[Sky]

Alright, time to update!  

First, I edited and fixed page 03:


Now for the next page:


Main focus of page: Bringing Sky to a different place.
(^ the small notes tell what I want to reach with it's page )

There is nothing much else to say, I guess. :unsure:
Hmm... I really need to practice to draw from different angles. >__>

[Adder]

I did it on previous comic attempts but they got canceled.  

Why'd it get cancelled?

[Pangaea]

First of all, in the revised Page 3, Petrie’s leg looks much better. I didn’t even notice the change in the sky until I compared the old and new versions, but it’s a great improvement as well.

And hey, you changed the clouds in the first two panels as well! The outlines are lighter now! Looks good!

As for the new page: The first thing I want to say is that the second panel cracked me up. Poor Guido, he’s just trying to be polite.

I really like how Guido looks in the first panel. I’m not sure why; I just like the perspective. The corner of his green “cap” looks kind of sharp, and maybe shouldn’t protrude that far to the right if you can still see his throat coloration from that angle.

Petrie looks good in the first panel as well. Really, all of the characters in all of the panels are well drawn. Sky’s head feathers even look better from the back than they did on Page 2. Good work!

The only other area that could potentially be improved is Pterie’s upper arms in the last panel, which look to be thinner than his forearms (mainly closer to the elbows), when they should be at least the same width.

By the way, congratulations! There were no writing errors on this page that I could see!

Hmm... I really need to practice to draw from different angles. >__>

Really? I think you're doing great with the different angles! (Though personally, I'm hopeless when it comes to drawing just about anything from different angles. ) You're incredibly good at drawing characters consistently.

[Caustizer]

I really like the perspective shots of Sky from behind and directly underneith when he takes off. It shows definate improvement from the previous drawings, as well as bringing to light some interesting features.

The 'fuzzy' patch that covers Sky's back is unique for a bird, which leads me to think that wingtails might actually be part mammal like bats.  Also, the wings are a pure blue on the back as opposed to feathered which means that only wingtail males have feathers in front compared to females which are membrane all the way through.

I'd like to see some more characters in the next comic too... especially new ones like Star, Lima, and Glide to see your interpretations.

Looking forward to the new pages,

Caustizer.

[Pangaea]

The 'fuzzy' patch that covers Sky's back is unique for a bird, which leads me to think that wingtails might actually be part mammal like bats.

Or they could just be simple, fur-like feathers, like what many feathered dinosaurs had. Somebody did once hypothesize that mammals and birds had a common ancestor (the “stem-haematotherm”, described here and illustrated here), but it’s almost universally regarded as bunk.

Also, the wings are a pure blue on the back as opposed to feathered which means that only wingtail males have feathers in front compared to females which are membrane all the way through.

I always assumed Sky’s wings were like Guido’s: entirely comprised of feathers, but with the feathers on the back not as distinct as the primaries and secondaries on the front. Although it would seem more realistic if both male and female wingtails had membranous wings, but in males they were entirely covered with (and thus concealed by) feathers.

[JitteryDragon]

I don't know why I didn't see this earlier, it's quite nice. Not much for reading LBT fiction stuff, but damn... this is good.

Guido is pro drawn, doesn't matter that he looks the same age... Microraptor GUI never grew to be big. Petrie is also good for that matter... and of course the background, very nice.

Only wish things would move along faster, but I'm patient.

[Caustizer]

How is progress coming along with this anyway? It's been quite a while since you added anything

[Sky]

I'm totaly sorry, but things are keeping me busy.  
Been working on other stuff and there was also pokeplayer's fanart contest...

Huh... maybe I should update with news like you do with FAH rather than keep quiet.  :!

[Sky]

Aahhh! I'm terribly sorry for being so inactive. X__X Then again... I'm only at this section active. o_O
I need to contribute more than just artworks...  

Ok, about their wings: Male wingtails have membranous wings just like females. But, they are much smaller and covered completely by feathers (like they were never there ). Female wings have larger membranous wings to produce enough heat to brood their eggs. :^.^: A big thank you goes to Pangaea for this info!  

Now back to the comic:
Page 04: Petrie's upperarms are now a little thicker and Guido's backhead color is fixed. The page can be seen at the first page of this thread.
 

Now an update with two pages!  


Happy birthday, Caustizer!   Here's your 'surprise' present :^.^:
Page 05 focus: Sky's home
Page 06 focus: Sky meet's Star

Now I need some rest... two pages in one week is tough. x_x
Nevertheless, enjoy!  

[Kor]

It's been great fun reading these pages so far.  You do great work.  Hope to see more at whatever schedule you can post at the fits your schedule.

[Caustizer]

Thank you very much for this present Sky!  I was looking forward to another page of your comic but instead you gave two... lots of material to see and review.  

I'll start with the first page. Sky's home is quite interesting... mainly because it's a cave instead of a tree (how I had envisioned wingtails living).  I wonder what the inside looks like?  All considered it seems to be quite secluded and somewhat lonely, so I would assume that in this story Sky lives apart from the GOF most of the time.

The flower part is intrigueing, because in Far Away Home Sky uses a trick with one to first gain Star's attention.  Perhaps the sad memory is the same in this story? Or maybe it will turn out to be quite different.

I like the sad expression on Sky's face, as it is an emotion we haven't seen depicted in drawing for him yet.

Caustizer.