The Gang of Five
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Strut's Lament

The Friendly Sharptooth

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I keep trying slightly new styles to keep a sort of variety and lack of dullness with my poems, even if the differences are very small. I’ve tried lines two and four rhyming a few times in four line verses that have minor changes here and there. I’ve tried all two line verses and a few others. Today, I came up with something different. I call it my “staircase style,” as I have never seen a poem like this before, so I have no official name for it. The reasoning behind my title should become clear shortly as the poem is read.

FlipperBoidSkua, one of my favorite writers, this poem is dedicated to you and your love of this egg-stealing couple.

Strut’s Lament

I love my brother will all my heart.
When he has a job, I do my part.
No matter the time, together we start.

His obsession with eggs can be a pain.
He hunts them down, even in rain.

Our life is never easy.

I can’t understand why he doesn’t see,
The kind of brother I’d like to be.
Not in his image, but just being me.

He makes me eat his favorite food;
He won’t ask my preference in any mood.

I always feel so trapped.

I try my hardest to make him glad,
Yet whatever I do, to him it’s bad.
I dream of the happiness we never had.

I care a lot for that brother of mine,
But things between us are far from fine.

We seem to drift farther apart.

His violent tendencies are always here.
My brother is sadly a guy to fear.
I look for kindness, but it’s nowhere near.

I had an idea for that Longneck’s death,
But oh, it ended with huge Sharpteeth breath.

I can never please my brother.

He despises every kid we meet.
His answer to disputes is just to beat.
The amount of cruelty is quite a feat.

I wish in peace we could settle down,
Yet every day he greets with a frown.

Ozzie should never be a dad.

I only wish my brother the best.
I always give him most of the nest.
After just a few bites, I give him the rest.

He never thanks me for the things I do,
But no matter the case, I see things through.

If only he would seem pleased.

This is my story, but don’t get me wrong.
Though I’d love our life to sing a new song,
I will follow my brother, since he is so strong.

I will wait forever for him to show love.
Someday, his heart will have light from above.

Until then, I will suffer in silence.

If it wasn't clear, I call it my "staircase style" because the number of lines go:
***
**
*
just like a staircase does.


LBTDiclonius

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Okay, I really like this, since Ozzy and Strut are some of my favorite characters, really, I'll choose them over any egg-snatching duo any day, I love how this turned out. And the staircase form is well-used if I do say so myself. I really enjoyed reading this, I really did.

Hey, FBS! It's for YOO-UUU! Yeah, it is, and it be awesome sauce! Great work. ;)


The Friendly Sharptooth

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Thank you for that. Your comments are always heartfelt, and I never stop appreciating them.


Cancerian Tiger

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I enjoyed the staircase style format of the poem, as it is different from your other poems.  Also, like the other characters used so far, Strut seemed to be in character.  I found myself thinking for a few moments that Strut himself had written this :lol.  Nice job, as always :yes.


EggStealerGirl

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This is beautiful. Simply beautiful. ^^


jansenov

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Strut, always the follower, never the leader. But in the movie it looked like this arrangement was fine with him. This poem portraits him the same way. Although he does have his grievances. In the context of the poem, "Ozzy should never be a dad" is funny and serious at the same time. It cracked me up because it was unexpected, but in itself it is a serious accusation. Perhaps Strut is frustrated with Ozzy, but has nerves of steel so he can tolerate a lot? In this regard he has some similarity to Ducky.


FlipperBoidSkua

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A poem dedicated to me? *glittery eyed* Thank you so much!! I feel unworthy of such an honor! Anything I can do in return? :)

Awwwwwwww, I wantz to huggle Strut! One again, your poems never disappoint. And I see your trying a new style!! It works perfectly, I must say!! Beautiful arrangement with a good name!! I soon found a tune in reading it. Awesome!!

Quote
Ozzie should never be a dad.

Ain't that the truth!! :lol:

Dude, you know your poems could be actual songs in the movies and stuff!! I can sooooo see Strut singing this on a lonely night. It's that good!!

SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!! Sorry, spazz attack from the awesomeness of this poem. I'm calm now...... OMG, that was such an adorable poem about one of my favorite characters!! It's KICKBUTT AWESOME!!! They need to have an emoticon for spazzing out... :smile

Anyway, the poem is perfect, no errors that I can see. The flow is perfect, the words are brilliant, and Strut is still adorable! Keep up the good work!! Whoooooooo!!!!


The Friendly Sharptooth

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^

Wow, even your reviews are a work of art, graceful and beautiful in every way. Thank you very much for your thoughts. Well, if you really want to do something in return, here it is: Don't stop being who you are and doing what you do. You're always such a pleasure to have around, and your literary works are quite a sight to behold. Just keep going on the same track you have been, and that alone will bring me much happiness.