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« on: April 22, 2007, 03:40:46 AM »
Hello. I have been writing this book for a little while and I need to make a decision on something. My question is after the book. Please read the entire thing before giving me your opinion. Also please feel free to point out any inconsistancies. Thanks!
The Land Before Time: A Story of Friendship, passion, and unshakable bonds
They knew it was a mistake. How could they have been so wrong? The forceful emotions had taken over. Their passion had led to disaster. They knew that once they had grown up that these emotions would come to pass. In their childhood, they had not believed in the stories about those who started down the path that one should never follow. Now they were banished. Cast aside. On their own.................
Littlefoot took one last look at the place where he grew up. The Great Valley really was a paradise. But he could not stay there. He had obligations. He would not allow Ali to live the rest of her life alone in the Mysterious Beyond. He had to go with her. It was he who was to blame for Ali's predicament. He could not be held responsible for her demise. He had to make sure that she would survive and that his unborn child would live to see the light of the bright circle, and that his mistake was not to be the cause of two deaths - Ali and their unborn child.
Back Story
Both had reached maturity together. Before the incident that led to the disaster, both lived in the Great Valley. Shortly before each had reached the final step of maturity, Ali and her herd moved to the Great Valley permanently due to desire to settle down and the fact that the old one could no longer travel. Ali had become a permanent member of the gang. Her relationship with the others was solid, but different. She still did not feel as connected to the others as much as she was to Littlefoot. At first her relationships with the gang had been as strong as Littlefoot's. Then the relationships to the others began to break down. She eventually realized that her relationship with the others had not lessened - Her relationship with Littlefoot had grown stronger. She then realized that the relationship had not only strengthened, but also changed in some way she couldn't identify. Neither of them realized it in the beginning. They spent a great deal of time alone together. Both were more than fond of each other but neither knew the extent of their feelings. Littlefoot began to realize that he spent less and less time with his other friends. Whenever he thought of something to do, Ali was his first choice out of his friends that he chose to do it with. Ali noticed this too and decided that they needed to discuss the changes that have occurred in their relationship...................
"Littlefoot"? Asked Ali. "Yes" Littlefoot replied. "I believe that our relationship has changed in a way that neither of us fully understands". She said. "I have realized this as well" said Littlefoot. "I have gone over every emotion that I have ever felt and I am at a loss to describe the emotions I am feeling". "The only thing I can think of is that the emotion that I am feeling is one that I have never felt before". "This is most likely an emotion caused by factors that we do not yet understand". "There is only one emotion that I can think of that makes since". "What is that Littlefoot?" Asked Ali. "Love" replied Littlefoot. "How can that be"? Asked Ali. "I guess it's a natural part of life when you reach our age” replied Littlefoot. "We must control our emotions". "If we make one wrong move, the repercussions could be extensive". "We must not see each other or tell anyone what we have discovered today". We are too young to express romantic love according to my grandparents." "We will be able to express and act on our emotions soon". "We must resist all temptations and not see each other until we reach the age of decision". "I agree” said Ali. "Our hatch day's are only a few day's apart” said Littlefoot. "Yours comes last." "I will meet you on your thirtieth hatch day when we both have reached the age of decision". "Then we can make the announcement to our family and friends". "Agreed"? Asked Littlefoot. "Agreed" confirmed Ali.
The mistake had been made late at night. It was the mistake that would change both their lives forever. The mistake that was unforgivable and irreversible. They had let their passion rule them. For that they paid the ultimate price. Their lives as they knew them would dissipate and one decision would change the rest of their lives. Both could not wait until the day of decision. Both were not in control of their actions. Both lives changed instantly as the result of one bad choice. They did not wait. This led to a surprise from their parents to learn that Ali was pregnant. Due to their actions, Ali was banished from her herd. They explained to her that they did not wish her to go but they had no choice. They had to obey the old law set many generations ago. This law stated that if anyone became impregnated before the age of decision, they would have to go far away from the herd in order to avoid being seen by someone in their pastille. The pastlife was the life you lived before conception. Littlefoot, although not banished, knew that there was no way he was going to loose Ali. He had reached the age of decision by the time Ali’s parents realized she was pregnant, although on the night of the mistake, he was not yet of that age. He decided that he had to go with Ali because they had unintentionally become a family.
Now they were heading away from the Great Valley. It was now only part of their past. They had to find a way to survive outside the Great Valley. Ali was the only one who really knew how to survive outside the Great Valley. Littlefoot had not lived in the Mysterious Beyond for most of his life as Ali had. She had all of the answers, all the knowledge, and most importantly, the most experience. She would be their guide through the dangerous territory known to the Great Valley dinosaurs to be hostile and unpredictable. This region was commonly known as the Mysterious Beyond.
They mutually agreed that the first step was to find food. That is the number one priority. Ali assured him that finding food would be difficult, but not impossible. Littlefoot stared out onto the horizon. He could see nothing but a barren wasteland in all directions. "How do we know which way to go Ali"? Asked Littlefoot. "Since we cannot use our eyes to see food, we must use our other senses" Ali replied. She raised her head up as high as it would go and began to draw in deep, steady berths. "I believe that this direction is the best way to go” she said. "I can smell food in that direction". "Than let's go" said Littlefoot. "Green food could be a long way away."
FORAGING FOR FOOD
They walked for several days, finding nothing but long-diseased animals and inedible plantlife until they came to a small oasis.
The oasis had many different kinds of plantlife, many of them unfamiliar to both of them. The ground was covered with green grass about three feet high and there was a large body of water about three quarters in. They agreed that this would make a suitable sleeping place for several days until they could resume their search for a more protected area. After all, this oasis was nice but it as absolutely no protection from sharpteeth. It was in the middle of a barren wasteland that they often travel. They took turns watching for sharpteeth while the other slept. It took them nearly three days until they were both fully rested. They ate and drank as much as they could before heading off to continue the search for a protected place to raise their child.
They had traveled for another day before coming to the big water. Littlefoot remembered the time when the inhabitants of the Great Valley found all the food they needed near the big water. They had eaten all of the food in the area but the fact that they were able to find food at all was a good sign that Littlefoot and Ali would be able to find another area near the big water in which to raise their child. Littlefoot informed Ali of the news. She told him that she's never seen much green food near the big water but she was willing to look there for a day or two. They walked along the beach together for several hours before deciding to take a short break. They discussed the mistake they had made and decided to attempt to make the best of the situation. Just then, Littlefoot remembered what Doc had said to him. "Ali" said Littlefoot. "I was told on good authority that the Great Valley was not as unique as we think". Doc told me that the Great Valley was nice but there are others just as nice out there somewhere." "Do you think he was right"? "I think that if there were another place a lush as the Great Valley out there that there would only be one other place like it." "The old one spoke of a land as nice as the Great Valley once" "She said that it was incredibly difficult to get to and that it was very far away" "She claimed to have been there once." "I tend to believe that there is another land like the Great Valley out there somewhere” said Ali. "Me too" said Littlefoot. "We should look for it." "Where is it"? He asked. "That's the problem" she said. "The old one never said where it was; just that it was far away". "It seems that I will have to go back to the Great Valley to talk to the old one and find out where it is". He said. "You should come with me." "It will be safer” he said. "But you seem to forget that I am banished"! She exclaimed. "I could not go back there". "You wouldn't have to go into the valley” he said. "You would just wait for me outside". "If you think this is what we must do, I trust you Littlefoot" she said. "Let's head back"
Backward journey
They turned around and began to head back the way they came along the beach. When they reached the point at which they first laid eyes upon the big water, they started away from it. They traveled towards the oasis at best possible speed. After about three hours of traveling, the ground began to shake violently. "Earthshake"? Asked Ali. Littlefoot was about to answer when the simultaneously found the cause of the ground shaking. A huge sharptooth was not far away. They could hear it roar but could barely see because of its distance from them. "We had better hurry and try to slip past him” Littlefoot whispered. They began a half run half walk towards the oasis. They could not see it yet, but they knew they were close. If only they could just not attract his attention, they would be safe. The roars were getting either closer or louder. Either one would be bad. If they were getting closer, than there was a good chance that they have been spotted. If they were simply louder, it might mean that the sharptooth may have just seen them a second ago. They increased their speed a little. The roars were getting softer and softer until they were no more. They reduced their speed to a fast walk just as the oasis came into view. Upon arrival, they rested for nearly an hour until heading off again towards the Great Valley.
Meanwhile...
Cera, Petrie, Ducky, and Spike were at a meeting with the old one and her four select. "I'm sorry but there can be no exception to the law". The old one said. "But you have not only banished Ali but Littlefoot as well” said Cera. "He was not banished." The old one said “He decided to go with her”. "Do you expect him to simply leave Ali to fend for herself in the Mysterious beyond carrying his unborn child”? Ducky asked. "We insist that there be an exception to this law" Proclaimed Cera. "It is unfair what you have done to them just to uphold old laws". The old one and her four select whispered for what seemed like hours until they finally came up with a new decision. "The law has been amended due to this unique situation” she said. "It has been determined that Ali will only be banished for one of the cold seasons". "That's the best I can do” she said. "Yay"! Yelled Petrie. "If only there were someway to tell Littlefoot about the amendment...
Return to the valley
It took them several days to reach the valley. The trip was uneventful. They were so hungry when they reached the valley that they nearly collapsed outside the great wall. It was agreed that Littlefoot would go into the valley and gather as much food that he could, then bring it to Ali. He would then go talk to the old one. He walked up the pathway to the entrance to the valley. He entered the valley and did not look back.
When he had finished gathering treestars, he took them to Ali. After the delivery was made, he proceeded to locate the old one.
He found the old one sitting in a circle with four other longnecks. He walked up to them and stood in the middle of the circle. "Littlefoot, is that you"? The old one asked. He spoke with harshness and anger. It was these people who had ruined the rest of his life. "Do you know the location of a land as green and lush as the great valley old one"? He asked. "Yes" she replied “I have to give you a new piece of information first” she said. "We have amended the old law". "We have decided that Ali will only be banished for one of the cold seasons". "Then she may return, as can you". "Thank you old one"! Said Littlefoot. A familiar voice came from behind. "Don't you think you should be thanking us first"? Littlefoot turned around. Cera, Petrie, Ducky and spike were standing a few meters away. "Cera, Petrie, Ducky, Spike, I missed you so much"! Exclaimed Littlefoot. He ran up to them. "What do you mean"? "Why should I be thanking you"? "Because we are the ones that convinced the old one to reduce your sentence” said Ducky. "Why are you back"? She asked “We need to know the location of a land as lush as the great valley in order to raise our child. The old one broke in. "The land you seek is far away indeed". "In order to reach it, you must face many dangers" "There are lava pits, sharpteeth, high speed winds, and many bodies of waters to cross." "To get to the lush land, you must first go through a place called the impassable desert." "It is a land that has plenty of plantlife and water." "Don’t be deceived". "This is one of the most dangerous places I have ever been". She warned. "This place is a sharptooth’s paradise". "They roam there because they know that the abundant plantlife will attract many leaf-eaters like yourself." "Be cautious and be smart". "Don't make any unnecessary detours". "The only way you will be able to make the crossing is if you move through it at best possible speed." "One good piece of information I can give you is that the sharpteeth that roam the impassable desert hunt alone". "This is your one advantage". "You must head towards the bright circle". Do this only after it begins to sink back down". Once you get past the impassable desert, you will need to go over the unnamed mountain." "It will be the largest one you see". "This mountain is mainly dirt so if the sky water is coming down, don't attempt to go over it". "The dirt will turn to mud and it will be impossible to get over". "The next land you will face is perhaps the most difficult to get through." "It is commonly known as the land of the great lakes". "This land is covered with lakes that change size very rapidly." "When you find a land break, I assure you it won't last long." "The lakes move". "They rapidly spread from one area to the next, swallowing everything in their path." "You must run through the openings as they are forming." "Beware, one wrong move, and your both dead." "When you get past the land of lakes, just head for a three day journey through a jungle that is relatively safe". "Sharpteeth don't usually go there because it is so difficult to navigate through". "At the end of the jungle, there is a barren land that is mostly rock. "It is less than a one day journey from there to the land like the Great Valley." "Follow these instructions carefully and you stand a much better chance of survival." "Thank you old one” said Littlefoot. "I will do exactly as you say". "But Littlefoot" said Ducky. "You will need help in the Mysterious Beyond". "We would like to go with you".........................
should I allow the others to come along or should I keep this an exclusive thing between Littlefoot and Ali? The story would be more unique if the others were left out but I will probably not be able to write as much without the others coming along. It's all up to you. What do you think?
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