Language questions for fanfictions

Malte279 · **on:** December 07, 2004, 05:15:39 PM

Hi!
Sometimes I have questions about the use of English language for my land before time fanfictions, and it would be really great for me if here I could get the answers and opinions (few of these will be "yes or no" or "false or wrong" questions) of more than one native speaker.
My first question is about the suitability of the word "tollerable" in a land before time story. "Tollerable" sounds like a word from a relatively high speech level to me and I wonder whether or not you could imagine a dinosaur to use it, or if you would prefer any other word of the same meaning.
Note that the character who uses it is a grownup dinosaur and a herd leader who may be more eloquent than the average land before time dinosaur (certainly more than the kids). The complete line he says reads:

Quote

“If not even this convinces you that they are not as tolerable as you persist to think they are, let me show you something more.”

Can you imagine a dinosaur to say this without it sounding exaggerated?

Nick22 · **Reply #1 on:** December 07, 2004, 05:20:56 PM

'Tolerable' is how it is spoken here. I would think it too highly advanced to be used in an LBT Fanfiction.
Nick

Threehorn · **Reply #2 on:** December 07, 2004, 06:34:09 PM

I haven't seen one other fanfiction of LBT that use other then English.

-Threehorn

Petrie · **Reply #3 on:** December 07, 2004, 07:15:51 PM

I agree with Nick, tolerable is much too advanced for a LBT fanfiction.

Malte279 · **Reply #4 on:** December 08, 2004, 04:22:10 AM

Do you have alternative ideas. I thought about "acceptable", but that I'm afraid is exactly the same level as "tolerble". Perhaps I need to rephrase the whole sentence in order to replace the "tolerable" part through "get along with"? However, it ought to be clear that the speaker considers it absolutely impossible to get along with / tolerate what he is talking about.

Petrie · **Reply #5 on:** December 08, 2004, 09:27:55 AM

Quote from: Malte279,Dec 7 2004 on 04:15 PM

Quote
“If not even this convinces you that they are not as tolerable as you persist to think they are, let me show you something more.”

:blink: :blink:

I think we're going to have to go and change the entire sentence structure.

Try this:

"In addition to being unbearable company, I can show you more things they do that annoy me."

Nick22 · **Reply #6 on:** December 08, 2004, 10:58:14 AM

Or " If you are not convinced that they are annoying, here's some more proof."
Nick

Malte279 · **Reply #7 on:** December 08, 2004, 01:53:21 PM

Thank you very, very much for your suggestions! I really appreciate them. However I'm afraid I have to give away a little more of the context.
"unbearable company" and "annoying" are too weak terms in this context. For we are talking about a character who wants to convince another one to attack those which he considers intolerable. Attack by the point of horns!

Nick22 · **Reply #8 on:** December 08, 2004, 02:00:54 PM

Very well, then. Another term for intolerable would be insupportable, but that is also too advanced. " If this will not convince you of thier worthlessness, then I will provide still more proof of this fact.
Nick

Malte279 · **Reply #9 on:** December 08, 2004, 02:52:07 PM

Thanks a lot for your suggestions Nick!

Alas I begin to feel like Ozzy ("because you see I'm ridiculously picky" :unsure: ). The problem is that worthlessness would be something that would make the character indifferent about something or somebody. But he considers "them" so "intorlerable" that he is ready to use violence to get rid of (kill) "them".

Nick22 · **Reply #10 on:** December 08, 2004, 03:51:11 PM

In order to harm someone, you cannot feel any connection to them. If someone is "worthless' then you feel no shame about hurting them.
Nick

Malte279 · **Reply #11 on:** December 08, 2004, 05:13:09 PM

But you wouldn't feel especially urged to hurt anyone so long you have no connection to them (an adversary connection in this case). I'm sorry if I sound unnecessary complicate, but I'm really looking for a word that fits perfectly.

Nick22 · **Reply #12 on:** December 08, 2004, 05:39:56 PM

Good point. Hmmm. How about putting it bluntly, since we cant use words that are too advanced?
Nick

Malte279 · **Reply #13 on:** December 09, 2004, 11:26:09 AM

I'm horrible, but that character wouldn't call the deed by name, as I think that maybe deep inside he knows that if named that way he would get no support for it.

Nick22 · **Reply #14 on:** December 09, 2004, 11:28:18 AM

so we can't be blunt? Hmm this is tough.. So you want a word that implies doing harm, but doesn't put it bluntly?
Nick

Malte279 · **Reply #15 on:** December 09, 2004, 11:31:26 AM

It is like he justifies the harm being done because "they" are intolerable. The positive (or maybe dangerous) thing about that word is, that everyone can interpret everything into it, and it doesn't sound too evil. It's just too high a speech-level other than that this word would fit in perfect.

Nick22 · **Reply #16 on:** December 09, 2004, 11:36:49 AM

Then My guess is that You'll just have to include intolarable even though it is very advanced.
Nick

Malte279 · **Reply #17 on:** December 23, 2004, 06:21:48 AM

Again I need the assistance of a native speaker. Is there any term to describe the situation that somebody is standing in water, so deep that the character is barely able to touch the ground with the feet?
In Germany we would say for example "She could hardly stand", but my dictionaries don't say whether or not such a litteral translation is possible. So it would be really great if you could help me out with this one.

Littlefoot1616 · **Reply #18 on:** December 23, 2004, 01:37:05 PM

That sounds ok to me.

Can't see anything worng with that and it sounds like it's being used in the right context.

Petrie · **Reply #19 on:** December 23, 2004, 09:44:48 PM

Why not just say, "Ducky could barely reach the bottom of the (river, lake)..."