Ok here it is...
Kazooie-no Banjo-tooie
©2010 Nintendoofah 64 Rating: E Banjo-Kazooie is © by Nintendo/Rareware
============================================================================
[On a stormy night where Breegull Bashers used to be, Klungo was still punching the rock
trying to break it]
Klungo: Almossst there. [he charges at the rock giving a heavy punch on it causing it to
shatter into many small pieces] Wahay! Klungo gotsss Ssslassshtooth free at lassst!
Slashtooth: Finally, six months later after the first fanfic and I'm free.
Klungo: Yeah, now letsss help more Breegullsss.
Slashtooth: Help the Breegulls? I wasn't helping them.
Klungo: You weren't?
Slashtooth: Of course I don't help Breegulls at all. I want them all extinct, especially Kazooie.
Klungo: But you toldsss Klungo you can help Breegullsss, Klungo not work for you anymore!
[he then walks away]
Slashtooth: [notices a feather on the ground from Kazooie and Tarin and picks them up] This
plan can't possibly fail...
============================================================================
[that same night at Banjo's house, Kazooie is sleeping, her kids were watching the cartoon
"Breegull Bob Feather Pants" on "Peckelodeon", Tarin was watching the kids and Banjo was
online reading the reviews that "Kazooie-no Banjo" got]
Banjo: Hmmm... I wish I could get my own fanfic...I'd call it "Banjo- no Kazooie".
Tarin: Well at least you were in Kazooie- no Banjo.
[a loud thunder clap sounds]
Eyrie, Sonny, and Gracie: [are startled by the sound and run towards Kazooie and get under
her wing]
Kazooie:[wakes up] Don't worry kids, it's only rain.
[then the power goes out]
Kazooie: Oh, great what's next, another horrible Dreamworks animation film?
Banjo: I'll go get the flashlights. [he walks but trips on the Nintendo] OW! I can't see a thing.
[he gets up and grabs Tarin's leg] Kazooie is that you? Your legs are very slender.
Tarin: No, it's me Tarin.
Banjo:
Kazooie: I'll just use the light from my DS. [she gets out her DS and turns it on] There, now we
can see a little bit.
Banjo: Good thinking Kazooie.
[the power comes back on and so does the TV]
Banjo: [notices a newsflash on TV] Hey Kazooie, looks like someone stole gold from Mayahem
Temple, and they think the suspects are you and Tarin!
Both Kazooie and Tarin: WHAT?! [they look at the TV]
Kazooie: That's not me...but do they really think I look that fat?
Tarin: There must be someone behind this.
[THUNDERCLAP! And someone crashes in front of the house]
Tarin: What was that?
Banjo: Perhaps one of us should go and look.
Kazooie: But I'll be scared and so will my kids.
Tarin: Don't worry Kazooie I'll check. [he opens the door and goes out and notices a Breegull
lying in front of him]
??????: [wakes up and notices Tarin]
Tarin: Are you Ok?
??????: I think so... [he tries to get up but his wing hurts] Ow, my wing.
Tarin: [helps the Breegull inside] I'll take you in to help you.
[the both go inside and Tarin closes the door]
Banjo: [towards the Breegull that Tarin saved] Who are you.
??????: Well I'm Tennor. I remember helping Kazooie and Tarin six months ago in the first
fanfic.
Kazooie: Now you can help us again Tennor.
Tennor: But not with this broken wing of mine.
Banjo: You can go to Mumbo, he can heal your wing.
Kazooie: Well It looks like this fanfic is gonna begin.
Banjo: ...After we get some sleep.
Kazooie: Ok.
============================================================================
[the next day, in front of Banjo's house]
Kazooie: Come on let's get to Mumbo.
Tennor: But I can't walk or fly.
Banjo: Maybe I can help, Tennor hop in my backpack.
Tennor: Ok. [jumps in Banjo's backpack]
Banjo: I'll carry Tennor.
Kazooie: Ok, but this fanfic is called "Kazooie-no Banjo-Tooie".
Tarin: Who will watch the kids while were gone?
Kazooie: Don't worry, I'm pretty sure they aren't giving Bottles any trouble.
[inside Banjo's house, Eyrie is flying all over the place]
Bottles: Be careful kid! Alright who has my goggles? [sees his goggles and Sonny is wearing
them and grabs them]
[back outside]
Banjo: Well then let's set off to Mumbo.
[Banjo, Kazooie, and Tarin walk towards Mumbo's skull and go in]
Mumbo: Hello bear, bird, and other bird.
Banjo: Could you heal Tennor's wing.
Tennor: [jumps out of the backpack]
Mumbo: Ok, just stand on skull and press B for mighty Mumbo magic!
Tennor: [stands on the skull button]
Mumbo: [waves his staff at Tennor] Bekum! Bokum! Bekum! Bokum! Mumbo heal bird.
Tennor: [flaps his wing a few times] Ah, much better. Now I can help.
Banjo: And I can go home. [he leaves]
[Kazooie, Tarin, and Tennor walk outside of Mumbo's hut and a message from Jiggy Wiggy
appears in front of them]
Jiggywiggy: Hello mortal, I see you are going to see who those Breegulls really are, I can help
you.
Tarin: Sure we need all the help we can get.
Jiggywiggy: Ok then, I'll warp you to my temple. [he warps the three to his temple]
============================================================================
[inside JiggyWiggy's temple]
Jiggywiggy: Now that you're here I can tell you how I can help.
Kazooie: Well tell us already.
Jiggywiggy: Ok, but I need Jiggys in order to have enough power to open the worlds.
Tarin: Where are these Jiggys that we need?
Jiggywiggy: In the worlds that have been sealed by Slashtooth. However he forgot to seal off
Mayahem temple, but you're wanted in there.
Tennor: I guess we'll just have to take our chances.
Kazooie: I have a feeling defeating Slashtooth this time isn't going to be so easy...
[the three of them walk outside of the temple and into Mayahem Temple]
Tarin: [walks up the stairs and sees a Jiggy] Hey, Kazooie! There's a Jiggy already.
Tennor: Yeah, we'll be finished with this fanfic in no time.
Kazooie: [sees the Jiggy] It's obviously a fake.
Tarin: Don't be so pessimestic, Kazooie.
Kazooie: I'll show you. [tosses a Clockwork Kazooie next to it and the Jiggy falls over turning
out that it really was a cardboard cut-out and a cage falls on top of the clockwork Kazooie]
[a bunch of moggie gaurds come running towards the three Breegulls]
Tennor: Any ideas? [couple moments of silence]
Kazooie: RUN!
[the three of them begin to run towards the exit but it closes up]
Kazooie: Well, it was nice knowing you Tarin.
[the moggies tie up all three of them and take them to an underground chamber and toss them
in]
Tennor: [cuts the ropes that were used to tie Kazooie]
Kazooie: Ok now I'll do the rest. [she uses her beak to cut the ropes freeing Tennor and Tarin]
Tennor: [leans against the wall and a brick slides in] Hey this brick seems to be loose maybe
we can push it all the way to get out.
Tarin: Come on Kazooie, push.
Kazooie: [pushes the brick and it falls revealing a much bigger chamber]
Tarin: Huh, whats this place? [he jumps down]
Kazooie: [looks around at the walls] Hmm it seems so familiar...Aha! This is Targitzan's
slightly sacred chamber.
Tennor: Targitzan, the mighty mayan god of target shooting.
Kazooie: How'd you know that?
Tennor: I still have my Banjo-Tooie N64 gamepak and it still works.
[the ground begins to shake]
Tarin: Kazooie you been here before, whats happening now?
Kazooie: Uh I think I've mistaken, this is Targitzan's really sacred chamber!
[Targitzan comes out of the ground]
Targitzan: So you three are the thieves who stole Bloatazin's gold.
Kazooie: No we are not! We're the ones being accused for that.
Targitzan: Ha! Like I'm gonna believe that.
Tarin: It's true we are not the thieves, the ones you saw were imposters.
Targitzan: Oh...Ok I believe that you aren't the thieves, but now that I'm out I might as well give
you a challenge.
Kazooie: Like what? Hit ten targets?
Targitzan: Well... that is the challenge. But now that I think of it, that seems too easy. Now
you'll have to hit ten targets...
Kazooie: Sounds easy enough.
Targitzan: ...while the entire floor is covered in lava.
Kazooie: [gulp] Maybe I shouldn't have said that...
[some platforms pop up out of the ground and Kazooie, Tarin, and Tennor get on one and then
the lava appears]
Targitzan: Ready... 3... 2... 1... GO!
Kazooie: [tosses a grenade egg at a target and breaks it]
Tarin: Hey, that looks like fun! Toss me an egg Kazooie!
Kazooie: [tosses a grenade egg to Tarin and he catches it]
Tarin: [he throws the egg at a target causing it to break]
Tennor: Why don't we work together?
Tarin: Ok. [jumps to the same platform that Kazooie is on] Lets all get on this platform.
Tennor: [follows Tarin]
[the three Breegulls continue to throw grenade eggs at the targets until there is none left]
Targitzan: Well it seems that you beaten my challenge, you can leave. [he drains the lava and
makes the platforms fall back into the ground]
Kazooie: Don't we get a Jiggy for all our troubles?
Targitzan: I would, but I don't have any.
Kazooie: Ok.
[Kazooie leaves the way out and Tarin and Tennor follow]
=============================================================================
[outside]
Kazooie: At this rate we'll never be able to finish this fanfic
[Bloatazin runs towards the three Breegulls]
Bloatazin: What? How did you prisoners escape?
Tarin: Well when we were down there I...
Kazooie: [puts her wing on Tarin's mouth] We're not the thieves, we're the ones trying to catch
the thieves.
Tennor: We'll get your gold back if you can help us.
Bloatazin: Ok, but how can I apologize for all that trouble.
Kazooie: How 'bout a Jiggy?
Bloatazin: Sure. [gives Kazooie a Jiggy]
Kazooie: Thanks and that's all the help we need from you.
Bloatazin: Ok, I'll open the exit. [takes out a remote and presses the button which opens the
exit]
Kazooie: Bye. [she leaves with Tarin and Tennor following her]
[outside of Mayahem temple]
Tarin: We should go to that JiggyWiggy guy.
[all three of them walk into JiggyWiggy's temple]
Jiggywiggy: [notices Kazooie has a Jiggy] I see you got a Jiggy now I can open another world
for you.
Tennor: I think we should go to Terrydactyland.
Kazooie: Hmm I guess you're right, those cavemen probably can't even tell the difference
between one Breegull from another.
Jiggywiggy: Ok then I shall open that world. [makes the crystal Jiggy shoot the beam at
Terrydactyland's entrance which causes it to open]
Tarin: Thanks again.
[outside]
Kazooie: How are we gonna get to Terrydactyland? Jamjar's shortcuts are out of service.
Tarin: Kazooie, you didn't forget that we're Breegulls so we can fly there.
Kazooie: Oh yeah, well my plan was that we go to Haul it away hallway and mail ourselves
there.
Tarin: [starts flying] Lead the way Kazooie.
Kazooie: [flies towards Terrydactyland]
Tennor: [follows Kazooie]
[the three of them land near the entrance and walk in]
Tarin: [notices a caveman holding a Jiggy] Kazooie, there's a Jiggy.
Kazooie: After him! [she runs towards the caveman and the rest follow]
Caveman: Uh-oh! Birds appear and run to me. Me think they want me shiny rock. [runs towards
his cave] Me think me safe here.
Kazooie: In here. [she goes in and the others follow]
[the ground began to shake causing a rock to fall blocking the entrance]
Kazooie: Oh great, with the only exit blocked we'll be stuck in this land before time.
Tennor: We can still get the Jiggy from him.
Kazooie: How?
Tennor: Hand me a grenade egg.
Kazooie: [hands Tennor a grenade egg]
Tennor: [towards the caveman] Hey do you wanna play baseball?
Caveman: Sure, me like baseball. [takes out a club and gets into batting stance]
Tennor: Here it comes. [pitches the grenade egg towards the caveman]
[the caveman swings his club and hits the grenade back towards Kazooie]
Tarin: Look out Kazooie! [runs and pushes Kazooie out of the way and the grenade egg misses
and it blows up the rock that was blocking the exit]
Kazooie: I think those were my special grenade eggs... that explode on the second collision.
Tarin: Any more plans Tennor?
Tennor: Maybe he'll trade.
Kazooie: But all I have is a worthless Nuts and bolts disc.
Tennor: Well it's worth a try.
Kazooie: [walks up to the caveman] Hey I'll trade you this nuts and bolts copy for that shiny
rock.
Caveman: Ok. [hands Kazooie the Jiggy and takes the disc] Me like the nuts and bolts thing,
it make good frisbee.
Kazooie: Hey, the Jiggy has teeth marks on it.
Caveman: Yeah, me thought chocolate was inside.
[Kazooie, Tarin, and Tennor leave the cave and go out of Terrydactyland]
=============================================================================
[outside of Terrydactyland]
Tarin: Come on let's get back to JiggyWiggy.
Tennor: Hey Kazooie, why not go to a Banjo-Kazooie level instead of a Banjo-Tooie level.
Kazooie: Well I guess so since I don't think that Slashtooth has caused any trouble in those
levels. [she starts flying] Follow me.
[Tarin and Tennor follow Kazooie]
[inside of Grunty's lair]
Kazooie: [notices that the boulders blocking the way to the rest of the lair are still there] We
can't go into any of the B-K levels.
Tennor: Why not just fly to the top and enter there?
[the three of them exit and fly to the top but when they reach the top they meet Grunty]
Kazooie: So we meet again, Grunty.
Grunty: I've got this new spell that will be the best, as it will put you to permanent rest!
Tarin: [reaches the top] Kazooie who is that?
Tennor: [reaches the top] It's Gruntilda the witch.
Kazooie: Now that we're all here can you start the battle Grunty?
Grunty: Ok. [starts firing spells at Kazooie]
Kazooie: [dodges the spells] Ah, the nostalgia.
Tarin: Kazooie don't forget about us!
Kazooie: Right. [runs towards Tarin and Tennor]
Grunty: [traps the three Breegulls on a ledge] Revenge is mine I cannot miss, let's see you
feathered fools dodge this! [charges a big spell above her head] Any last words you dumb
birds?
Kazooie: Hey, nice hairstyle.
[a few moments of silence]
Grunty: Oh, yes my hairstyle is the best. Wait here and I'll show you the fat hag monthly
magazines I've appeared on. [she gets on her broomstick and flies down]
Tennor: Close call.
[all three of them go down the hole that leads into the lair]
Tarin: Well Kazooie you pick a level.
Kazooie: Well it's not gonna be Rusty Bucket Bay.
Tarin: Why do you think that? Banjo-Kazooie is a good game from Nintendo/Rare.
Kazooie: [remembers back in 1998 when her feathers were soaking in oil] I'd rather not talk
about it...
Tennor: Let's just go to an easy one, like Treasure Trove Cove.
Kazooie: Ok I'll lead you there.
[Kazooie leads Tarin and Tennor to the tresure chest]
Kazooie: Jump in here. [jumps in the chest]
[Tennor and Tarin jump in too]
[they get warped to the start of the level]
Kazooie: [notices that Jolly's place is here] I don't remember Jolly being in this level.
Tarin: Well let's go inside.
[all three of them go inside]
Tennor: Jolly when did you open up another location here?
Jolly: After Banjo-Tooie.
Kazooie: Hey Jolly, pass me a tankard of Birdwieser.
Tarin: Kazooie! This fanfic is also rated E.
Kazooie: Oh, sorry.
Tennor: You wouldn't happen to have a Jiggy?
Jolly: No, but captian Blubber does.
Tennor: Come on you two let's go to the Salty Hippo to find Blubber.
[all three of them go outside]
Kazooie: [spots the Salty HIppo] There's Blubbergut's ship.
Tennor: But it doesn't look like there's any way on and the water is shark infested.
Tarin: [notices that there is some posts in the water and an idea hits him] Hey Kazooie, I know
how we can get on.
Kazooie: How?
Tarin: By using these posts, we can hop on them to get on his ship.
Kazooie: Are you sure about this, those posts don't look very sturdy.
Tarin: We can just Silt Stride on them.
Kazooie: Stilt Stride? What's that?
Tarin: A new move for you and Tennor. Watch me. [he effortlessly hops from one post to
another until he gets on the ship]
Tennor: Me next. [he hops across]
Tarin: Come on Kazooie, I know you can do it.
Kazooie: [gulp] If I must... [she hops but as she hops off a post it falls in the water] That was
close.
Blubber: Arr welcome aboard mateys!
Kazooie: I heard you have a Jiggy, can we have it?
Blubber: Ok but I'm not giving up me treasure for free.
Kazooie: How about two doubloons that I had left over from Banjo-Tooie. [gives Blubber the
doubloons]
Blubber: Here ya go matey. [hands Kazooie the Jiggy]
Tarin: come on Kazooie.
[the three Breegulls get off the ship]
Tennor: Kazooie let's go inside the sand castle.
Kazooie: Why? We already have two Jiggys.
Tennor: So we can get a third one.
Kazooie: Ok.
[all three of them go inside the sand castle]
Kazooie: It seems different in here.
Tennor: You're right, the walls don't say "BANJOKAZOOIE" anymore.
Kazooie: And our faces are on them instead.
Tarin: Hmm... maybe those codes from the first fanfic can help here.
Kazooie: Well I do have a copy of "Kazooie-no Banjo" with me. [looks for the codes] Here they
are: "EIOOZAK" "NIRAT" and "RONNET".
Tennor: [thinks for a moment] Aha! The codes are our names spelled backwards.
Kazooie and Tarin: Your right.
Tennor: And Maybe we're supposed to enter our own names.
Kazooie: Ok. [walks to the E and starts stomping on it] These cheap things aren't working.
Tennor: [notices a mole hill and walks up to it and presses B]
Bottles: [pops up out of the hole] It's about time you made it here Kazooie.
Kazooie: Well bottle boy do you have any new moves for me?
Bottles: Yes.
Kazooie: Well tell us.
Bottles: Well Kazooie if you're gonna eat so much pizza you might as well put those extra
pounds to work with a devastating Breegull Butt Bash.
Kazooie: And how are we supposed to do that?
Bottles: By getting into the air and quickly pressing Z twice. That's it. [he goes back down the
mole hill]
Kazooie: Me first. [she enters EIOOZAK and her face on the wall lights up] You next Tarin.
Tarin: [enters NIRAT and his face on the wall lights up]
Tennor: [enters RONNET and his face lights up and a part of the wall slides up revealing a
glow]
Kazooie: Oh boy! I think I hear the Stop-N'-Swop music. I'll be the first one to get it without a
Gameshark.
[she runs in a slow-motion until she reaches the end of the tunnel and finds a Jiggy] Aw it's just
a Jiggy, I thought we were so close to finding out what was in those stupid eggs. [she takes
the Jiggy and leaves the sand castle. Tennor and Tarin follow]
=============================================================================
[inside of Grunty's lair]
Kazooie: [she notices Klungo walking by] Careful you two that's Klungo, Slashtooth's
henchman.
Klungo: [notices Kazooie and runs to her] Aha! Klungo foundsss you Birdsss.
Kazooie: Don't hurt me, I'm married to Tarin and have three beautiful children.
Klungo: No worriesss, Klungo not hurtsss you three.
Kazooie: You're not?
Klungo: Klungo will help birdsss defeat ssstupid Ssslassshtooth.
Tarin: Ok, you seem pretty strong.
Tennor: Well let's get out of here.
[the four of them walk towards the way out but they come across a section that bees have
taken over]
Zubba: Greetingzzz. I zzzee that you want to get out of thizzz cave.
Kazooie: Yes, we do.
Zubba: Then I'll zzzhow you the way out. [flies in the big beehive]
Kazooie: I'm sure Banjo would faint at the sight of this much honey.
Tarin: Wow! This is one big beehive.
Zubba: [points to the throne room] That izzz King Zing Sting and Queen B.
Tennor: Hey look there's the exit. [points to a hole in the ground]
Kazooie: [jumps down and Tarin, Tennor, and Klungo follow]
Zubba: Nice of you to bee here. [waves at them]
[the're back at the entrance of Grunty's lair]
Tarin: [spots the Breegull thieves that are running with Bloatazin's gold] There are those
thieves we have to catch them! [flies toward the thieves]
Klungo: Prepare to feel the wrath of Klungo! [runs towards the thieves]
Tennor: Come on Kazooie, let's help
[Slashtooth notices Tarin and Klungo running towards his minions]
Slashtooth: You're not gonna stop me this time Kazooie! With my robot minions I've fooled
everyone into thinking you are thieves!
Tennor: Robots? [an idea comes to his mind and he heads to Mumbo]
Klungo: [is trying to punch the robots but they keep on dodging his attacks] Hold ssstill Klungo
can't hitsss you!
[Inside Mumbo's skull where Tennor is]
Tennor: Mumbo you have to come and help us!
Mumbo: Ah, Mumbo finally get to be hero of fanfic.
[Mumbo and Tennor leave heading towards Spiral mountain]
[Back to Spiral mountain]
Tarin: We can't do this by ourselves we need more help.
Kazooie: [notices Tennor and Mumbo comming this way] And here it comes.
Mumbo: Me summon raindance, hope this works. [points his staff towards the sky] Bekum!
Bokum! Bekum! Bokum!
[it begins to rain, and the robot thieves begin to short curcuit]
Slashtooth: NO! Not my clever robot thieves.
Kazooie: It's working!
Slashtooth: You win this time Kazooie, but you haven't seen the last of me! [he flees] Now to
activate the emergency self-destruct. [takes out a remote and pushes the button]
Tarin: We did it!
Kazooie: [gives Tarin a big hug]
Tennor: I think we should get out of here.
Kazooie: Why? We already defeated Slashtooth a second time and the fanfic is almost over.
Tennor: Because the robots are counting down.
[everyone runs away and the robots blow up]
Tarin: Well now that we got Bloatazin's gold we can go back to Mayahem Temple.
[back to Mayahem Temple]
Bloatazin: Huge thanks to you for getting my gold back.
Kazooie: It was too easy.
Tarin: Well Kazooie let's go home now.
Kazooie: You're right, I want to challenge Nintendoofah 64 to a Mariokart Wii wifi race.
[back at Banjo's house, Banjo, Mazooie, Pazooie, and Kazooie's kids were there]
Kazooie: [comes in] Hi mother and father! [she gives them a hug]
Eyrie: [runs to Kazooie] Ka-zoo-ee! [she hugs Kazooie by her leg]
Tarin: Don't forget about Tarin.
[Sonny and Gracie come to Tarin and hug him by the leg]
Tennor: Hello Mr. and Mrs Kazooie.
Klungo: Don't forgetsss Klungo helped.
Banjo: Well done Kazooie you've been the star of two fanfics! [pats Kazooie on her back]
Kazooie: And maybe I'll be in a third fanfic "Kazooie- no Banjo-Threeie".
Banjo: Come on Kazooie, join me. [takes out his banjo and starts playing his theme]
Kazooie: Right behind you. [she gets out her kazoo and joins Banjo]
[they finish their song]
Banjo: Guh-huh!
Kazooie: Breee!
=============================================================================
Kazooie: And there it is, the end of another Banjo-Kazooie fanfic thanks for reading! And now
post some reviews for it. Also my name appears 171 times in this fanfic.
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